


Trust Me, I'm Broken Too

by natigail



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Slavery, And to anyone discovering it now: I hope you enjoy it!, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beating, Broken, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Family Secrets, First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, Hurt Dan Howell, Injury Recovery, Insomnia, M/M, Minor Character Death, No Smut, Opposites Attract, Past Rape/Non-con, Phanfic Awards 2017, Phil Lester Is A Sweetheart, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prince!Phil, Princes & Princesses, Servant!Dan, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Thank you to everyone who has been supporting this story for the 9 months I was posting it, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2018-12-11 13:16:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 182,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natigail/pseuds/natigail
Summary: The Lesters – the royal family of his homeland – was nothing like Dan thought they would be. Well, the King was just as horrible as he had heard but the King’s brother’s son, who was third in line for the throne, was nothing like Dan thought he’d be. Dan had been adrift for three years going from one “place of employment” to another, only his life was seen as worthless and he was more property than an employee. He had never imagined he’s end up as the property of Prince Philip.The Prince had no intention of ever taking on a personal servant, which was a fancy name to disguise the fact a law essentially enslaved people. Phil often had to do things he didn’t want to or risk being removed from the succession to the crown. If that happened, who knew who his tyrant of an uncle would pick as a successor? When pressured into the choosing, he’d wanted to go for the most innocent, young girl, but hard brown eyes caught his attention instead.*3rd Best Angst, 2nd Best Storyline and Best Fantasy for Phanfic Awards 2017 + nominations for Best AO3, Best Slow Burn and Best Chaptered*





	1. The Prince's New Property

**Author's Note:**

> ~*~ indicates a shift in point of view.

“You should be thankful,” a guard grumbled and practically spat on him and the other young people beside him. Gender varied but all of them had the same beaten-down look on their face. They were all children of families, who had been unable to sustain them once they passed eighteen nor had they themselves and thus they had been thrown into the system of abuse.

Dan had been going from house to house for three years. He did the work they asked him to do and he had learnt to endure the sexual abuse. He had become proactive in his approach to combat it, offering to suck off the angry men rather than have their rough hands on his body.

A shiver went his spine just thinking about it. He supposed that he should be grateful for the shiver. It meant he still felt something, even though he often was convinced that he was essentially dead on the inside.

“Move forward,” another guard said and yanked them forward by their shackles. If this didn’t show how they were essentially slaves, Dan didn’t know what would.

They were lead into the Grand Hall and Dan heard whispers of awe from the people bound to him. Dan was the only one of them who seemed unaffected.

The room was full of men in rich-looking clothes and the way they scanned him and the five other people in shackles made him want to vomit. He supposed he should bet on luck and that none of them wanted a boy but he’d slowly began to give up that hope in the past three years. Even men, who claimed to be disgusted by the thought of another man touching them, had swiftly taken their aggressions out on Dan in ways that proved contrary to their words.

On the throne sat a big burly man with a disgruntled frown that looked like it had taken permanent residence there. He looked menacing and it was enough to rouse fear within Dan. Rumours said that the King was unable to father a child but the way he was scowling now, Dan was surprised anyone even dared to get close enough to him.

“We bring you the finest new bunch of young servants,” the guard introduced and indicated the four girls and two boys in shackles.

Dan had been confused as to why they had all been allowed to bathe and were given new clothes but he understood it now. They were to be handed off to powerful men and they couldn’t look like what they really were: penniless young people, who would never know safety again. Dan glanced sideways at the people that he was tied to and he had to admit that they were all objectively pretty.

More of a toy than a worker, he noted with shame.

The men standing around the room zeroed in almost in unison. They circled them like predators eying their prey served up on a silver plate. Dan flinched when one graced his ass. This was worse than being “passed on” when his former boss, really his previous _owner_ , had grown tired of him. He could almost smell the malicious on these men.

Dan found it hard to remember a time when he was just a kid, who had a crush on another boy. He’d always liked both girls and boys and it had been so innocent back then but now he was terrified of the hands of men.

There was a loud clash and everyone’s attention turned to the corner of the room, where a small inconspicuous door swung open and a tall black-haired man stumbled in.

Everyone was looking at this klutz, practically falling into the room, but no one looked as intensely as Dan.

The guy had pale porcelain skin, which contrasted wonderfully with his dark hair. Though he had trouble balancing his long limps, he smiled apologetically but beautifully as he realised everyone was staring at him.

His smile was enchanting and his eyes radiated blue and even though Dan was fairly far away, he could still make out the colour of them.

This man reminded Dan why he had liked boys in the first place.

~*~

Phil hadn’t meant to go through the door to the Grand Hall. He had gotten the back entrance confused with the one that lead to the library.

He had wondered why the door wouldn’t budge but he’d just thrown his weight against it and it had opened all too swiftly, which of course sent him tumbling into the room filled with important people.

Phil smiled, a silent apology, and then felt his uncle’s eyes on his. The King had never liked Phil or his brother. Phil didn’t blame him much as he figured it was because they represented the horrible reminder that his uncle had been unable to produce an heir.

“Prince Philip,” the King called and there was something eerie in his voice. “Come join me.”

Phil gulped and scanned the room to observe that all eyes where still on him. He recognised most of the men standing around in the hall but it was only then he saw the six people in shackles with a guard on either side. Phil hissed in a breath. He did not want to be here at all. One particular brunet stared intensely at Phil.

“How old are you now, my dear boy? 21?” the King asked him.

Phil tried to straighten up a bit. He should probably be offended that his uncle got his age wrong by such a large margin but the man had never been much interested in his nephews.

“25 years old,” he answered.

“Oh my, I’m glad you stumbled in here then. You’re more than old enough to take on a _personal_ servant of your own then,” the King continued and gestured the miserable people in shackles.

Phil didn’t want a personal servant or the implications that came along with it. He was fine with just the regular staff that got properly paid and wasn’t coerced into something they didn’t want.

“No, I don’t -” Phil tried to protest but it was to no avail.

“Nonsense,” the King interrupted and clapped his hands together. “I’ll even let you have the pick of the litter.”

Phil’s stomach turned. They were not animals or property. They were human beings. Phil knew his uncle had made some drastic changes after taking on the throne from the previous king, Phil’s grandfather, and it essentially enslaved anyone, who couldn’t fend for themselves the moment they turned eighteen.

“I’d rather not,” Phil said but then he made the mistake to look over at the poor people. Most of them looked terrified or on the verge of crying, however, one just had this cynical look in his eyes.

“Do you not accept our traditions, young Prince Philip?” the King questioned. “You know you must uphold all rules if you do not wish to drop from the succession to the throne?”

Phil flinched, almost unnoticeably. His father was next in line but he had long ago shared that he would pass if ever presented with the opportunity. That only left Phil’s older brother Martyn before Phil would be the last option before it jumped off to some potential far-out relative or worse… a pick of his uncle’s choice. Phil had to be the safeguard, should something happen to his brother, even though Phil had absolutely no wish to wear the crown.

“I’m aware,” Phil said, his voice innocent as always, though his mind was working in high gear.

“Have your pick then,” the King gestured and indicated the “litter” he could pick from.

Phil turned away from his uncle and walked up to the group. He managed one deep breath to steady himself. They all looked so scared when he neared and he was all too aware of all the noblemen, who were watching him intensely.

Phil knew what he had to do in the hopes to get the most vulnerable one away from the clutches of those noblemen. He had meant to point to the youngest looking of the girls, he really had, but then he noticed the lustful stares thrown towards the cold-eyed brunet boy.

Now that he was up close, Phil could see how pretty the boy was. He was gorgeous had it not been for the sombre glare in his eyes. On top of his head was a mop of brown hair that curled uncontrollably. Phil had always liked boys, though he had used to be quiet about it.

He knew it wasn’t uncommon to take a male servant, though maybe not entirely appropriate for a prince.

“I chose him,” Phil said because honestly there was no way he’d be able to leave the pretty boy in the hands of those vultures, not with the way the boy’s eyes stared into his soul.

~*~

Dan’s mouth ran dry and he stared at the beautiful prince with surprise, as did everyone else in the room.

Prince Philip turned around to face the King, who looked least surprised of them all.

“I hope you’ll be happy with your choice,” the King said with a look far too calculating for Dan’s liking.

Before Dan was sure what had happened, one of the guards accompanying them had unlocked him from the chain, though he still remained in his individual shackles.

“Bring him to my room,” Prince Philip ordered and walked out the room in a brisk pace through the same door he had stumbled in of. The prince looked like he couldn’t wait to make it out of there.

Dan was manhandled out of the Great Hall and he would struggle but he needed to gather his strength. The first night always seemed to be the worst when he changed hands.

He tried to commit the route to memory, for a potential escape later, but they took so many twist and turns that he couldn’t keep up.

Eventually, and up too many stairs for Dan’s liking, the guard paused in front of a door and swung it open.

Prince Philip had somehow made it back before them and he was pacing the room. He actually looked nervous, though it should be the other way around. Dan couldn’t help notice how he would have found the prince’s anxious pacing cute if he’d seen it three years ago before he got taken by the system.

He was the Prince’s property. An object. He had bought his body and services so there was no way Dan was letting his guard drop, even if the nervous man seemed to be exactly his type.

“Prince Philip,” the guard alerted the young man of their presence and his head snapped up.

“Yes, thank you,” the Prince said and smiled gracious, albeit nervously, at the guard who took his leave.

Dan took a deep breath. Once he’d given up memorising the route, he’d gone over his plan in his head. It was better to start off on the right foot, with him completely submissive and willing as that usually meant less beating and less scars to his already growing collection.

Prince Philip finally paused in his pacing and looked at Dan almost pitifully. That look was almost more hurtful than anything else Dan had experienced but he wasn’t entirely sure why.

Dan walked up carefully to the prince, hunching his shoulders to slump down in height. They were both tall but Dan had a tiny bit more height advantage and he wanted to remove it instantly.

His hands found the Prince’s hips, his shackles not constricting him too much. The prince sucked in a sharp breath of air and closed his eyes. Dan moved his left hand towards the other’s crotch.

“I’ll suck you off so good that you forget your own name, as long as you don’t strike me,” Dan muttered, his voice heavy and husky on command, as he palmed the Prince through his trousers.

Prince Philip’s body shifted forwards, towards the touch and Dan was tugging gently at the rim of the trousers when something suddenly changed. The heavy breathing that the Prince had adapted instantly vanished and he jumped back as if Dan’s hands had burned him.

Dan frowned but stood still.

If the Prince did not like boys or at least didn’t admit so to himself, Dan had just made a grave mistake. He braced himself for the strike of punishment, for displeasing him in whatever way, but it didn’t come.

Prince Philip instead flopped himself onto his bed and clutched his head tightly.

~*~

Phil’s mind was racing and the spike of arousal did nothing to help clear his thought. The boy had barely touched him but he already felt flustered. He had never indulged in how nice it would be to have a pretty boy talk to you like that and there was something in the boy’s eyes that made his thoughts turn dirty.

He was still coming to grasps with actually agreeing to take on a personal servant but he hadn’t expected said servant to come in looking so damn pretty and appealing and touching him before they had even spoken.

The boy’s husky voice had done things to Phil but he had not failed to pick up what had been said. The boy has done it while he’d pleaded not to be hit. Had people been hitting him? Was that why he looked so cold? Phil had heard the rumours of abuse to people like him, both physically and sexually, but he’d tried to pretend that it was all talk.

Looking at the gorgeous frozen boy in the middle of his bedroom made it impossible for him to ignore anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said as he stood up because he didn’t know what else to say.

The boy cast his eyes to the floor, reluctant to look up and meet Phil’s eyes.

“What’s your name?” Phil asked, while he tried to think non-erotic thoughts to make his arousal go away before he got a hard-on. It wasn’t exactly easy with the boy looking so damn cute and Phil could still feel his touch linger on him.

“I’m Dan, Prince Philip,” the boy muttered eventually.

“Nice to meet you. You can just call me Phil,” Phil said, stripping away the formality of his title and full name. He didn’t want to hear anyone regard him with that formality if he could help it, least of all someone like Dan.

“Did I do something wrong?” Dan asked, his voice growing in volume.

Phil smiled softly. “No,” he said, though he’d not appreciated the unwanted advances. Okay, not unwanted.

Dan looked thoroughly confused.

“I would ask if you don’t like boys, but I can guess based on your reaction,” Dan said growing braver as his eyes briefly darted toward Phil’s crotch where the affects of Dan’s brief touch still lingered.

Phil flushed red and felt an urge to cover up.

“I won’t strike you,” Phil said, switching topic. “I’m not that kind of guy. I won’t even touch you without your permission.”

Dan barely hid the eye roll that made evident that he didn’t put much weight into Phil’s words.

“Dan, I’m a prince. When I give you my word, I mean it,” Phil said and tried his best not to let the hurt show in his face.

“Why did you pick me?” Dan asked and his voice seemed stern and more normal now. Not like when he had first started speaking and his voice was barely a whisper.

Now, it’s Phil’s turn to stare at the floor.

“I’m not sure, Dan,” Phil answered honestly. “I wasn’t going to but then I just did anyway.”

Phil didn’t tell Dan that he had to do it because he couldn’t live with himself if anyone stuck that beautiful face, which was looking curiously at him now. He’s heard rumours about one of the guys that had been eyeing Dan, about how he got a new “boy toy” every month because he “ruined” them.

Dan was staring at Phil, matching the intensity of Phil’s words. Phil let himself observe how soft and squishy Dan’s face looked and how his eyes seemed almost hauntingly beautiful. Those eyes had undoubtedly seen so much. Phil was notorious for never leaving the castle. He just found it too depressing after all the laws his uncle had issued.

Phil sighed deeply and sat down on the corner of his bed and rested his head in his arms.

~*~

Dan was not sure what to make of Prince Philip, or Phil as he had insisted that he should call him. Dan had seen the arousal in the royal’s eyes when he had put his hands on him and yet Phil had pushed him away.

Looking into Phil’s incredibly blue eyes had left Dan with only more confusion. They were taking him in, he could recognise that look anywhere but Phil had been different than the other men, who looked at him like that. There was something softer about him.

Dan probably shouldn’t have opened his big mouth. It was what always got him in trouble. He didn’t know when to shut up. But he’s gained more and more confidence as Phil simply listened and not once had he even gestured in any way that he would throw a punch.

Come to think of it, Dan didn’t know much about the famous Prince Philip. He was called a “castle shut-in”, Dan knew that much, but it seemed Phil was a lot more.

Dan recalled the look of disgust on the prince’s face when he looked at Dan and the people he was shackled with. Initially, he had thought it was because the Prince looked down on them but now he wasn’t so sure.

“What do you want with me?” Dan dared to ask another question because by all account Phil seemed absolutely harmless, which wasn’t something Dan usually dealt with. He still had to be aware though; he still hadn’t neglected the option that this was part of some bigger plot.

Phil raised his head from pressing against his palm and even his blank stare was beautiful.

Dan wondered if it was even possible for a man to be kind anymore. Even Dan himself at 21, officially a man, was mean as hell. Boys turned evil when they became men, in Dan’s experience.

“I don’t want anything from you, Dan,” Phil said and his voice sounded tired. “I just couldn’t leave you there. Not with those men.”

At his last remark, Phil clutched his fists and it was the first display of anger Dan has seen from the Prince.

“Are you trying to save me?” Dan said cynically, and poured malice into the otherwise positive words. You couldn’t be saved. Not in this world.

Phil seemed thoroughly confused, his eyebrows shooting upwards to hide under his black fringe.

“Not really. I’m powerless here. A mere pawn to my uncle. He’s just waiting for the perfect opportunity to marry me off to some princess in some sort of trade.”

Dan frowned, utterly confused how a Prince, third in line to the throne, could be just a pawn. Dan also noted the distaste that followed along with the words _marry me off_ and _princess_.

Dan should not be standing here, in the most extravagant chambers he’d ever known, newly handed off to a prince as property and feel sorry for said prince but he did. He felt the hopelessness almost radiate off Phil and it startled Dan that he might actually care about the prince’s troubles.

This man, who despite his promises of no violence would likely press him down in the dark of night, stirred something inside of Dan. He didn’t know Phil, not one bit, and yet he felt sorry for the privileged royal prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing on this story for quite a while, so I'm happy to finally start posting it. It's going to be a long one. I have twelve chapters pre-written already. Updates will be weekly and be posted every Saturday. It's the first time I've written something with these themes, so I'd appreciate any feedback. I'll try my best to put appropriate triggers at the beginning of every chapter but if I slip up, don't hesitate to tell me so I can correct my mistake. 
> 
> I hope you liked this first chapter. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below?


	2. Not as Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan couldn't quite figure out what to make of Prince Philip who took him on. Phil didn't even think twice to introduce Dan to his friend Daisy the kitchen maid. Curious eyes looked towards the pair of them as rumours have spread rapidly but Phil kept regarding Dan with respect which he wasn't used to.

Phil didn’t know that to say. Dan was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. If he had been able to, he would have walked Dan out of the castle and let him go. However, Phil was hardly the rebellious type. It wouldn’t have mattered much if he did anyway.

Dan fidgeted with his hands, making the shackle clink together. Phil winced at the sound and he earned a confused brow raise from Dan.

“I’ll try to get the key for those tomorrow, Dan. You shouldn’t be bound like that. It’s… inhumane. I’m very sorry.”

Phil was sincere but Dan still looked rather sceptical.

“Is there anything…” Phil said and scratched the back of his neck, “I can do to make this more comfortable for you?”

Dan seemed to ponder his answer.

“Why do you care, Prince?” Dan said, his voice still cold and harsh.

Had Phil been temperamental, he might have gotten riled up and gone to strike Dan. He’d seen his uncle and other noblemen do the same too many times. Even his brother had almost adapted the impulse, though Martyn had been horrified by himself and never gone through with it. The behaviour seemed contagious but it had never managed to reach Phil. It was one of the reasons his brother was hardly ever home and preferred to travel around the different kingdoms.

“You have a lot of questions, huh?” Phil said and pulled himself up to a cross-legged position sat on his bed. “I care about everyone I meet, Dan. I never want to spread anything other than kindness in a world that’s too cruel. I picked you and I care because you look like someone who’s given up on life. If anything, the only thing I want for you is to not be so grim.”

Dan took a step away from Phil, almost as if he had been struck. Phil didn’t understand why Dan was acting like this.

There was a knock on the door that made Dan jump and dart away, Phil couldn’t help but notice how Dan moved towards him.

“It’s fine, Dan,” Phil reassured the younger boy in a soft voice. “Come in,” he called loudly.

“Prince Phillip,” the guard greeted and Phil fought his annoyed pout as yet another guard refrained from listening to his request about calling him Phil.

“Yes,” Phil said, manners perfect as always.

“Your mother sends for you, at your convenience. She was alerted of the events that passed in the Great Hall,” the guard said and threw a glance sideways at Dan.

“Thank you for the message. You can tell her that I’ll be by her chambers soon. At the latest right before dinner.”

The guard nodded and said Phil’s title and name again.

“Sorry,” Phil said to Dan. “Mum is probably just confused about why I suddenly took in a personal servant.”

Phil felt himself going practically flustered when he thought about what his mother might have had to assume. He had no doubts his uncle had boasted loudly about it already. This was more complicated than Phil first assumed.

“Are you hungry?” Phil asked Dan, who didn’t get a chance to answer before Phil smacked himself. “Of course, you are. I’m sorry for being dim. Come.”

Phil got up and walked over to the door and held it open for Dan.

~*~

Dan wasn’t quite sure what to make of this whole thing. Phil’s voice held a command and it was firm but it was somehow gentle as well. More like he was a lighthouse guiding him home through a storm rather than a dog snapping at the feet of the sheep it was herding.   

Phil held open the door for Dan and gestured for him to walk. Dan hesitated. He wasn’t used to people being polite towards him. He took unsure steps forwards and practically had to force his body through the doorframe. He had stopped a beat, looking back at Phil, who’d just gestured for him to walk through again, gently and patiently.  

Dan knew it was a power dynamic, at least sometimes. The person first through the door was usually the one in charge and the leader, from what Dan had gathered, and he couldn’t quite fathom why Phil took the stance of a servant holding open the door for his superior when it was the other way around. 

“Follow me, the kitchen is this way,” Phil said and walked with long strides. He wasn’t walking particularly fast but his long legs brought him forward at a naturally high pace. Dan had no trouble matching it but made sure not to step in front of Phil, which resulted in him falling in step with the prince perfectly.  

Dan would have held back and walked slightly behind but whenever he tried to fall back, Phil would slow his pace and wait for Dan to catch up. It was odd and nothing like the men who’d “been in charge” of Dan before.  

They walked down more and more corridors until arriving at a small door that looked like a service entrance. Phil smiled brightly and held open the door yet again.  

“Careful, it’s a steep staircase. I’ve tried to advocate that they build a new one, so the staff doesn’t have to struggle carrying up the large trays but so far my attempts have been futile,” Phil said.  

Dan nodded and began descending down the stairs. Phil was right, the staircase was narrow and the steps slightly too short to walk on them comfortably. Dan could hear sounds of hustle and bustle the closer they got and delicious smell of good food filled his nostrils. It smelled heavenly and Dan hoped his growling stomach wasn’t too loud.  

Phil was walking down, close behind him, and Dan felt his pulse quicken a tiny bit. He never liked being in crammed places, let alone with people who all but had everyone’s acceptance (except Dan’s) to lay their hands on him.  

Curious eyes turned to him as he reached the bottom of the stairs and he did an awkward wave.  

“Who are you?” one of the kitchen maids asked, her tone accusatory and her graze hostile. The rest of the bundle looked the same. How many people worked here? 

“This is Dan,” Phil said, as he walked up behind him. The hostile glares morphed into downcast eyes and muttered apologises as they all curtsied and addressed Phil by his full name and title. 

~*~

Phil wished that they would stop doing that.  

“No need to curtsy. It’s only me,” Phil said with a warm smile.  

He wasn’t technically allowed to walk into the staff kitchen. It wasn’t the “proper” thing for a prince to do but Phil couldn’t help himself. He felt worse because the staff always looked so startled and embarrassed, even if he always tried to assure them that he meant no ill intentions by coming down here. 

He was pretty familiar with the kitchen, as he’d always go here on nights when he couldn’t sleep and craved a midnight snack. By then, the kitchen was usually empty and quiet and Phil loved it very much. There weren’t so many glares of wonder and twisted respect.  

Phil hadn’t done anything that should earn respect, at least not more respect than you’d treat anyone else with. He’d just been born into a family, who happened to rule the country.  

“Come along,” Phil whispered to Dan and almost put his hand on his shoulder to guide him. He caught himself last minute.  

He and Dan weren’t familiar and if their brief exchange of words were anything to go by, Dan might very well be scared by physical contact.  

“Daisy!” Phil called out happily when he spotted the short, chubby kitchen maid working on kneading dough in the corner.  

“Phil,” she said with surprise and smiled widely back at him.  

They were childhood friends and she was practically the only friend Phil had. Her father was the court physician since Phil’s father had a chronic illness, he’d always been very close with the doctor. As a result, Phil had actually befriended Daisy when they were just kids. She was the only one of the staff members that actually addressed him by Phil, as he preferred. 

“What brings you know here? On a secret biscuit hunt again?” Daisy joked, her hands still working the dough. “I thought you might be occupied with something else…” 

Her voice trailed off when she noticed Dan, who lingered somewhat behind Phil. 

“And who might that be?” Daisy asked and nodded towards Dan. Her tone was perceptive and Phil had no doubt that the information of him choosing a personal servant had already spread like wildfire across the castle. 

“This is Dan,” Phil introduced and gestured for Dan to step forward. He didn’t want to have to say anything more about what Dan was doing here. It made Phil uncomfortable thinking of Dan as a personal servant and all the underlying things tied to that. 

“I see,” Daisy said, a glint in her eye. “I’m Daisy, nice to meet you, Dan. I’d shake your hand but I doubt you’d want to get flour all over you.” 

Dan shook his head before settling his eyes back on the ground. Either Dan’s feet were very interesting entities or he’d been taught not to look up unless spoken to. Phil’s heart ached slightly and he drew in a sharp breath. It was painful to watch someone so young and at the same time so broken.  

“Can you make sure he gets properly fed? Anything he wants and make sure that he eats something,” Phil said to Daisy, in a slightly hushed voice.  

“Of course, Phil,” Daisy replied and began wiping her hands on her apron.  

“What is all this commotion?” a sharp voice cut through and suddenly many feet were moving again. Phil hadn’t even noticed how they’d drawn in an audience, unfortunately he was too used to people gathering around him just to observe.  

“Get back to work!” 

It was the head chef, a tiny but harsh older lady, who ran the kitchen staff with an iron fist.  

“Is that Prince Philip who has come down to create a viewing queue in my kitchen?”  

“I’m sorry, miss Janet,” Phil said. “I did not mean to disturb anyone.” 

“You never do, Prince Philip,” Janet said, her voice harsh and to the point but not as commanding now that she spoke to Phil directly.  

Phil actually really liked her, despite her blunt attitude. She’d never tiptoed around him and he appreciated that very much.  

“I’ll be off now anyway. I have an appointment with my mother. The breakfast and lunch was exquisite as always, Janet,” Phil said before he began to walk out. “Dan, I’ll see you back in my chambers after you’ve finished eating. Will you escort him, Daisy?” 

“Anything for the prince,” Daisy said, her voice full of humour. It was an inside joke between them. Whenever Daisy got really bored and wanted a break from the kitchen, she’d always say that she had an errand for Phil. Phil didn’t mind one bit, as she’d usually come hang out with him. 

~*~

Dan saw how Phil interacted with Daisy and he couldn’t grasp how a kitchen maid could be so chummy with a prince. She’d called him by only Phil, which Phil had told Dan to do as well, but nobody else seemed to listen to Phil when he said that he didn’t want to be addressed by his title.  

The other thing that puzzled Dan was how Phil had introduced him. He’d just used his name, not mentioning anything about the personal servant part, though Dan thought everybody must know because he felt their stares.  

That’s what the prince had chosen to warm his bed? 

Some of the glares had almost been jealous and if Dan could, he’d be more than happy to give up the spot of a personal servant for anyone else. They didn’t know how horrible it could be. But he supposed he’d never been attached to anyone as objectively desirable as Phil, both for his title and his looks.

When Phil bid him goodbye, even with the promise that he’d meet him again soon, Dan was finally able to take a proper breath. Phil had been nothing but kind so far but Dan was still waiting for the moment the prince changed his attitude. Come nightfall, Dan was sure he’d get to see a different side of the otherwise innocent and charming prince.  

“I suppose Prince Philip asked you to feed his personal servant as well, Daisy?” the chef, Janet had Phil called her, said.  

“You’re right on the nose, mam. But I’ll get back to the dough as soon as I’m done with the prince’s command.” 

“Make it snappy. We’re not supposed to pause everything to serve a servant. Prince Philip and his complete disagreed for rules will make me go grey before my time!” Janet complained.  

“I think that’s already happened,” Daisy said under her breath while chuckling but Dan was close enough to hear, while Janet was blissfully unaware already leaving them to it.  

“Okay, what to make of you, my boy? You’re gorgeous; I’ll give you that. Even with that beaten down look on your face. No wonder you got handpicked to be assigned to nobility. Come on, I have some leftover soup that’ll do you good,” Daisy said and her voice was warm.  

She started rummaging around the cupboards. With Phil gone and Janet’s order for everyone to get back to work, he didn’t feel as watched as before but he could still sense a few glares from across the room. Thankfully, him and Daisy were sort of tugged away in a corner.  

“Sit down, Dan,” Daisy ordered as she poured cold soup into a pan in the stove. “It’ll only take a few minutes to heat up but you’re making even me anxious loitering around like that.” 

Dan did as he was told. He’d learnt to do so years ago.  

“You don’t have to go through the trouble,” Dan spoke carefully. He’d heard Janet’s moan about the prince breaking protocol. 

“Nonsense. What the royals want, the royals get,” Daisy said and spurted it off like a mantra, “besides, it’s Phil. He’s a good friend of mine. Of course, I’ll make you food if he asked me to, regardless of his nobility status.” 

“How come?” Dan asked before he could stop his mouth. He’d only get into trouble if he kept talking without being asked. 

“What do you mean? How come we’re friends?” she asked and Dan nodded. “My family has served Phil’s for generations. My dad is kind of friends with his dad, as much as a patient and a doctor as well as a crown prince and a commoner could be, I suppose. I’ve known Phil since he was a kid and we became friends while growing up. He doesn’t care that he’s royalty.” 

Dan was very curious about it all. So far only the king, Phil’s uncle, seemed to live up to the image of royals that Dan had conjured up in his mind. He didn’t expect them to become friends with the staff at all. He thought they’d keep to themselves and only speak to people, whom hadn’t been stripped of their human rights.

“Don’t look so worried, Dan,” Daisy told him, her voice gently and stripped of the humorous undertones for once. “Phil is a good guy. The best guy in fact. He won’t hurt you. He can’t even go hunting because he can’t shot to kill anything. He once stepped on a dog’s tail and kept apologising for almost an hour and the following weeks, he’d always bring her dog treats. I’m not sure how he even came to accept a personal servant, because I’m fairly certain that he hates the custom though he’s not allowed to express an opinion like that. Was he just invited along by his uncle or something?” 

Dan took in her words, and he really tried to let them matter. Daisy did seem to know Phil but Dan knew far better than most that people were capable of hiding dark and twisted things within themselves. Phil seemed like a ray of sunshine but perhaps the bright sunlight was so blinding that you didn’t see the chaos and darkness emitting from his centre. 

“He stumbled in a door, by accident I think. It was the King’s idea.” 

“Ahh, that makes a lot more sense,” Daisy said, her smile warm. “I didn’t think Phil would do it on his own accord. I believe he hates the law that makes people into public servants, or if we’re being frank slaves, unless they can sustain themselves.” 

She pulled the pan from the stove and poured the hot orange thick liquid into a bowl and sat it in front of Dan and handed him a spoon. She sat down opposite him and gestured for him to try it.  

Dan lifted a spoonful and blew on it a couple of times. It smelled so damn good. He’d been giving food at the previous places he’d been but it had always been whatever scraps where left from the family’s table. He bit down on the spoon and didn’t even care that it almost burned him when he tasted it.  

“Amazing,” he muttered and dove in for another spoonful.  

Daisy laughed and her laughter clang around the kitchen. It was a lovely sound and Dan wasn’t sure he could recall how long it had been since someone had laughed out loud because of him. Unless it was the menacing kind when they were hovering over him when he was hurting. 

“I’m glad you like it, Dan. Eat up. It’s all yours. I can even pour you another serving if you don’t jabber too loudly about it. Like you might have gathered, we’re not really personal chefs for anyone but the royal family and hardly any of them uses us as such. We mostly just prepare for the different meals at set times and the occasional feast.” 

“Hmm,” Dan hummed, digging into his wood feverishly. It felt so good to eat something that wasn’t cold and his taste buds were dancing at the flavoursome soup. He finished his first serving so quickly but Daisy swiftly filled his bowl again.  

“You’ll probably have to come down here to eat with us in the future. We generally eat about an hour after the family and their guests. Or you might have some of Phil’s leftovers. He mostly eats breakfast and lunch in his room unless his parents demands his presence at the table.” 

Dan nodded. He didn’t want to think about the future too much. He was still nervous about what the night might bring. Planning meals seemed like the least of his worries, though he did catch onto Daisy mentioning Phil eating by himself a lot.  

“Why does Phil eat in his room?” Dan questioned. He had no right to ask such a question, about someone so far above his rank, but Daisy talked about Phil so causally that it was easy to forget that he was a prince.  

“He’s never flat out told me. You must understand, Dan, that even if Phil and I are good friends, there’s a lot of things that Phil isn’t allowed to say out loud. Not if he wants to hold his position in line for the throne. He has to be diplomatic and he can’t let dangerous opinions slip, not with anyone. There’s so much he can’t share with anyone, and I suppose that’s part of the reason he likes hiding away in his room, the garden or the library. There he’s not bothered and all the responsibilities people thrust on him doesn’t seem to weight so heavy.” 

Dan’s mouth felt dry and again he found himself feeling sympathy for the prince. He shook it off yet again but it was harder this time. He knew all about responsibilities and ambitions being pushed onto you and Dan had failed miserably when it had been him. It was part of the reason he had ended up in this situation.  

“Are you done? I need to get you back to Phil’s chambers before Janet throws a fit of me wasting too much time not doing my job,” Daisy said after she glanced around the room and saw Janet looking at her grumpily.

“I’m done,” Dan confirmed. “Thank you.” 

He wasn’t used to thanking people anymore, not unless it was his master actually forcing him to. People didn’t generally do things to Dan that naturally made him feel gratitude. Most people looked down on him because of the turn his life had taken. 

“Of course, Dan. Everybody needs food, especially when they’d clearly been denied it for too long. Let’s go.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's progressing a little slowly here with the first chapters but I loved just slowly developing their relationship and documenting all their first interactions. And you got to meet Daisy! I love her character so damn much and she'll feature a lot in the rest of the story. I hope you like her and this chapters. As always, I'd love any feedback.
> 
> New chapter coming in next Saturday.


	3. Be Wary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil didn't want to talk to his mother one bit in that moment. He'd taken on a personal servant, someone enslaved by the law and ripped of their rights. How did you face your mother when she knew that? How did he explain it to her?

Phil wasn’t looking forward to speaking with his mother. He felt uneasy leaving Dan by himself in the kitchen, though he knew he was in more than capable hands with Daisy. Daisy was his only real friend and he trusted her. Unlike so many lords that tried to befriend him for the purpose of being associated with a prince, she had never cared about his title.  

Sure, she liked using it as an excuse to get out of work every so often, but Phil was actually the one who had suggested that initially. He was glad his royalty could be slightly useful for his only friend. 

He was pacing the hall outside of his parents’ chambers, trying to prepare himself for his mother’s questions. She wasn’t a harsh woman; in fact his mother was very gentle, though a bit odd at times. Phil knew he possessed the same kind of oddness and hoped everyone found his as endearing as they found his mother’s.  

“Child, I can hear you pacing out there,” her voice sounded through the door, promptly stopping Phil in his tracks. His mother always had a sixth sense when it came to her children. 

Phil hesitantly opened the door and peaked in, he was thankful to note that his father wasn’t present. That would have been even more awkward.  

“Philip,” his mother said and went to hug him. “What is this I suddenly hear from the staff?” 

Phil pulled out of the hug to look at his mother. He suspected that he might see disgust or anger but she merely seemed confused.  

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Mum,” he said, his voice shaking, and suddenly he felt more like a five year old than 25. “I just stumbled into the Grand Hall because I mistook it from the back entrance to the library. I almost fell flat on my face and everybody stared at me. That’s when I noticed the six young people in shackles.” 

Now anger flashed over his mother’s otherwise pacifist expression. 

“He held another gathering for assigning personal servants?” her voice was cold now and Phil was reminded that his mother could be tough when it came down to it.  

She’d never liked growing up as a duchess and even less being a crown princess after she married Phil’s father. But she’d done it because she loved him and their affair had gotten her pregnant. She’d never expected to bear royal heirs.  

“Yes,” Phil confirmed. “He practically forced me to pick one of them… He said I would be disrespecting our traditions if I didn’t – even though this so-called tradition is less than ten years old – he insinuated that I would fall from my rightful place in the line to the throne. I didn’t know what to do and I felt trapped with the king, the guards and several lords just staring at me, so I agreed.” 

“Poor boy,” his mother said and reached up to cup his cheeks. Sometimes, when his mother was acting so protective, comforting and just maternal, Phil would sink into a childlike mind and to a time before he had been expect to make any decisions on his own.  

“I suppose you went for the youngest? To get them away from the prying hands of those lords? How is the girl holding up now? Is she in your chambers?” 

Phil tensed under his mother’s touch. He had meant to pick the most innocent looking girl, someone least likely to be able to fend for themselves. Someone who could perhaps still be saved before they became too traumatised. But he hadn’t. He’d chosen a boy with cold eyes and a broken stance.  

Dan would probably have been able to hold himself better than the girls next to him and maybe he had been through too much to ever be able to be put back together again. Still, Phil hadn’t been able to make a different choice. Once his eyes met Dan’s, he’d said it without even thinking. It had to be Dan. 

“Mum…” Phil said, his voice fragile, “I didn’t… I was… I picked a boy named Dan. I walked him down to the kitchen and asked Daisy to feed him.” 

Phil braced for his mother’s disapproval of his impulsiveness. He felt like he might cry. He hadn’t outright told his mother that he liked guys, after all he’d have to marry a princess eventually, but Phil had a sneaking suspicion that she knew anyway. She always seemed to know.  

“Oh Phil,” his mother said and pulled him into a hug. She didn’t say anything else but it was implicit. 

How could he do that? It gave his uncle extra ammunition. He’d revealed that if nothing else, he’d prefer to have his bed warmed by a guy rather than a girl. However, Phil hadn’t expected or even thought about the concern his mother brought up next. 

“Is he still in shackles?” she asked and Phil nodded. “Keep him in them for a while, honey.” 

“What?” Phil exclaimed and pulled away. It was still at the top of his list to get those shackles off of Dan as soon as possible. 

“He might be dangerous, Phil. I wouldn’t worry so much about a girl overpowering you but another man, even if he is young… He might… You have to be careful.” 

“Dan wouldn’t do something like that!” Phil argued, even if he didn’t know Dan at all. They’d been in the same room for less than an hour. But he was trustful towards people and Dan looked more like a danger to himself rather than anyone else.

He’d never even for the briefest moment considered that Dan might be able to do damage to him, fatal damage in worst case. It was evident that Dan hated the royal family. Phil had sensed that much, and he knew that Dan had his reasons but still… would he be able to hurt Phil? 

Phil didn’t think so but then again, Dan did surprise him by dropping to his knees and they’d only just met and hardly exchanged more than a few words. Phil really didn’t know Dan at all. 

“You always see the best in people, Philip, and it’s a wonderful gift. However, it also makes you blind. Do you remember how long you thought that your uncle was a good king for the people? You stayed in that belief all through your teenage years and only saw sense fairly recently.” 

It hurt that his mother brought up his obliviousness, only because of how accurate it was. Phil wanted to see the best in people, sometimes so much that he’d see only goodness in them and become blind to their flaws and their dark potential. 

“Promise me that you’ll be careful, Philip. It’s a dangerous game you’ve entered into with both your uncle and this boy Dan. Both of them will have their own agenda and I’m scared you’ll get hurt while they attempt to get their way. You have to be careful.” 

“I promise,” Phil promised and squeezed his mother’s hands. “I will be careful.” 

“Good, now go back to your chambers and change. Dinner will begin shortly.” 

“Yes, Mum,” Phil said and walked out of his parents’ chambers even more on edge than he had been going in, even if that was possible. 

He’d never considered how this might just be a power play or a move in a game to his uncle, just like he hadn’t considered that Dan would have his own plan for what might happen next.  

~*~

Dan felt uncomfortable being alone in Phil’s chambers. He’d wanted to ask Daisy to stay but he knew that she needed to get back to the kitchen or she’d be in trouble, Phil’s orders or not. So Dan just walked around the chambers and inspected everything in plain view. He didn’t want to go snooping through Phil’s drawers, especially not when he could return any minute.  

Phil had yet to raise a hand against him but if he found Dan going through his personal possessions, Dan was sure that it would change. 

So he studied the furniture, all old but well kept. They seemed a bit impersonal as if they had been living here longer than Phil and would continue to do so after Phil was no more. Dan was more fascinated by the windowsill, which was a massive array of plants, flowers and cacti. They were all thriving and looking healthy and Phil obviously took a lot of care for them.  

Phil’s bed sheets seemed much more Phil than the old Victorian bed. They clearly didn’t match and the sheets were checkered and bright. Dan ran a hand along them and found them immensely soft to the touch, clearly of high quality.  

Dan had never been pressed down into sheets this fine.  

He shuddered when he thought back to previous encounters when men, who felt it was their right to treat Dan how they saw fit. The women had eyed his as well, but they’d never dared to touch him, probably on account of their husbands.  

The door suddenly swung open and an agitated Phil stumbled in through the door. For a moment, it was like he’d forgotten that Dan would be here and his head snapped up in surprise.  

“Sorry,” Phil said, frustration seemingly draining out of him immediately. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

“It’s okay,” Dan said, while his heart rate was still accelerated. Men looking agitated never vowed well for him before.  

“No, I should be more considerate,” Phil said and took a deep breath.

Something had clearly happened during the conversation with his mother but Dan didn’t have the permission to ask him about it. Phil didn’t have to tell Dan anything, while Dan had to do anything Phil asked him to.  

~*~

“Are you feeling better on a full stomach?” Phil asked as he walked over to hid cupboard and pulled it wide open. He’d need to wear something appropriate for dinner. They were entertaining guests, like most nights, and it would be frowned upon if he were not dressed up to par.  

“Yes, Prince Philip,” Dan answered and Phil’s gut twisted. Phil had specifically asked him not to call him that.  

“Dan, please,” Phil pleaded, “call me Phil. I’m not comfortable being addressed as a prince, least of all by you. I don’t like being called it at all. If I could have my choosing, everybody would call me Phil because titles like prince and princess are not something that is earned, it’s something that you’re born into. If I ever finish a degree, that’s a different matter, but I hardly think who your parents are should earn you to be addressed by a title.” 

Dan crooked his head slightly to the side and looked adorable. Phil had said too much. He was too riled up after the conversation with his mother and he was just so tired of having to watch his back the whole time. This was why he preferred to be by himself in his room, in the garden or in the library. He didn’t want to have to adhere to some rules constantly, out of fear that he’d have his princehood ripped from him. 

There had been days where he’d considered how easy it would be to decline the whole thing. He could say that he didn’t want any part in the royalty life. He could get a normal flat in the city and live an ordinary life.  

It was a fantasy because Phil was fully aware that he couldn’t abandon his obligations. His uncle was a bad king and it was only the other four Lesters; his parents, his brother and himself, who held some of the worst proposals at bay. If he’d abandon everything, so much horrible stuff could happen.  

“I didn’t mean to speak so frankly,” Phil said and pulled his shirt over his head. 

He shouldn’t be so honest with Dan, especially not with his mother’s warning burning in the back of his skull. However, it was difficult for Phil’s brain to believe his mother’s words when Dan looked fairly harmless and jumped at the least sign of aggression, even if it wasn’t aimed at him. 

 “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Phil continued. 

Phil had always insisted on dressing himself but he’d long ago forgone any embarrassment about undressing in front of people. He’d been to too many tailors and seamstresses to care anymore. Maybe that was why he didn’t notice how Dan suddenly tensed.  

~*~

Dan sucked in a silent breath as Phil pulled the shirt over his head in one swift movement. Dan wasn’t sure if he was allowed to look and turned his gaze away to offer Phil some privacy. It felt like the right thing to do.  

Still, Dan had caught a good sight of Phil’s slightly toned upper body. He wasn’t very muscly but he was lean and nice to look at. His body suggested that he did some physical activity to keep in shape but not too excessively.  

Dan was scared for a moment that Phil would ask him to walk over and pull Dan’s clothes from his body. That didn’t seem to be the case. 

“Which shirt do you think?” Phil asked and Dan finally lifted his eyes from the floor. Phil was still shirtless but his pants were different and he was holding up two different shirts on hangers in front of him.  

Dan quirked up an eyebrow. He wasn’t exactly used to be asked for outfit advice.  

“I can’t pick,” Phil said as an explanation. “Which one do you like better?” 

Dan took a careful step closer and viewed the shirts. One was white, so white that Dan wasn’t even sure how fabric could possibly be that white, and the other was a blue that matched Phil’s eyes. Dan pointed at the blue one. 

“Blue it is,” Phil said with a wide grin and his tongue poked out of the side of his mouth slightly. Was this supposed to be a prince? Phil was quashing expectation after expectation with Dan. If this continued, soon there would be no prejudice and only actual Phil would remain.  

Phil quickly buttoned the shirt and checked his hair in the mirror.  

“Alright, we’ll say that’s acceptable for the dinner. I tell you I should travel more like my brother Martyn. He’s always travelling off to far lands while I’m stuck here having the same old boring conversations with pompous lords.” 

Something flickered over Phil’s face, like maybe he just remembered something. 

~*~

Actually, it probably wouldn’t be the same old boring conversations. Phil had just taken on a personal servant and he shouldn’t forget that his uncle likely would be more than happy to bring it up in conversation and make him the laughing matter of the whole table.  

It wasn’t that Phil regretted choosing Dan, but it would have been so much easier if he’d been more logical and listened to his brain rather than his impulse.  

Dan was still stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and it dawned on Phil that he hadn’t seen Dan sit down, not even once. He probably wouldn’t do so until told, another of those weird discipline things that Phil couldn’t quite understand. He wondered how much Dan had been hurt.  

“You can sit down anywhere, you know,” Phil told him. “The sofa, the table chairs, the bed, heck even the windowsill if you can find room enough without knocking my plant babies off. Until we figure everything out, this is your place too. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go through my things while I’m not here though. But do sit down and rest while I’m at dinner. Please.” 

Phil tried not to sound so down about it but it was breaking his heart that Dan wouldn’t even sit down without Phil specifically telling him that it was okay. Something had gone terribly wrong in Dan’s life and Phil had a nagging feeling that his uncle’s law had started it all.  

Dan hesitated and squirmed under Phil’s gaze. Phil kept looking at him until Dan eventually sat down on the sofa in the corner.  

“I’ll see you after dinner,” Phil promised and noted how Dan jumped and fear flashed across his face. 

How was Phil supposed to heed his mother’s words and be careful around Dan when the boy looked so terrified at the prospect of even being near Phil? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter, but I'm happy to introduce Phil's mother. Mrs Lester. Technically crown princess. Poor Phil was so worried, mostly because he's still scared and caught into a situation he doesn't know how to act in. He's in need for his mother's comfort. I hope you liked this chapter.
> 
> Next update in a week, on Saturday 26th of August.


	4. Don't Let Your Guard Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a disastrous dinner with the king and his guests, Phil comes stumbling back to his chambers, slightly intoxicated, and Dan is sure this will be the turning point that shows the prince's true colours and he will drop the kind and respectful act.

Dan was sat stiffly in the sofa long after Phil had left the room. He didn’t feel at home here, despite Phil point blank declaring that they were sharing the space and that it was his place too. Dan had never really had a place of that was his. Even his childhood bedroom had been partly used by his father as a substitute office and he would have to just be sat quietly in the corner when his father worked.

It felt good to sit down, even if Dan was worried that he was dirtying up the sofa just by touching it with his bum. It wasn’t logical, especially not considered how him and the five others in shackles had been washed and given new clothes.  

Dan didn’t want to think about the others that he’d been chained to temporarily. He didn’t want to think about their young scared faces at the mercy of some of those lords in the hall. Just the thought made Dan’s neck hairs stand on end and he finally let himself laid down on the sofa just to make the feeling go away.

He could not worry about others, not when he was struggling so much himself. The only person he still allowed himself to care about and worry for was his younger brother. If his parents hadn’t gotten their finances under control or Adrian hadn’t gotten a scholarship, it would only be two years before he would end on the same path that Dan was on.  

His parents would survive. They always did. Even after what happened with his father’s employment. Dan still resented his father for that action, the risky and illegal investment, which successfully ripped their safety net apart. Their children would pay for their parents’ mistakes and Dan didn’t think it was fair.

Maybe Phil had been onto something when he talked about parents just before he left. The prince had looked like he had said a bit too much, his body tensing, but he had offered Dan an insight he hadn’t had before.  

If being born to royals didn’t earn you the right to be addressed by a title, like Phil seemed to think, then perhaps being born to selfish people didn’t inherently mean that you had to pay for their mistakes.  

It was a comforting thought and Dan lulled over it as he closed his eyes. The sofa seemed so soft and morphed around his body, almost cuddling him. Dan wasn’t used to sleep properly, always so scared that there would come rough hands in the night, but he was alone in here, at least for now.  

He just wanted to close his eyes for a moment. 

~*~

The dinner was bad but not as disastrous as Phil had expected. His parents were looking as picture perfect as always, posing as the perfect couple crown prince and princess, with smiles that revealed nothing.  

Everybody always thought that the king’s younger brother loved him, on account of how Phil’s father had never tried to manipulate or had spoken ill of his brother, even indirectly. It was not the case. King Lester and Crown Prince Lester were as far from each other as brothers could be and they didn’t see eye to eye on anything.

One craved power, domination and was always hungry for more when the other would shy far away from it. One was kind, compassionate and content while the other would not comprehend how those were features to be desired. 

In the shadows, Phil had heard a lot of whispers of how people wished his farther to be born first. It wouldn’t have made any difference. Phil knew his father would have abdicated. He did not want the responsibility of running a country and with his health situation, he hardly could if he’d wanted to.

And even in this fantasy where the order of birth had been switched, the old king had died before Martyn would have been old enough to take over. Not that Phil would wish that responsibility on his older brother from he had turned eighteen. Judging how Martyn had behaved during that period of his life, it was probably for the better.  

Phil wasn’t portraying the perfect image that his parents always managed to pull off. He was nervous and on edge about this whole thing. He didn’t like going down for dinner at the best of times and now he was just waiting for his uncle to bring up what had passed in the Great Hall. Phil tried to numb his reaction by sipping healthy on the wine. 

The king had tried to bring up the personal servant issue, as Phil had expected. 

“Did I tell you we got a load of pretty new servants arrived at the castle today?” his uncle had mentioned, nonchalantly but Phil had almost bolted out of his seat.  

“Oh, really?” their lord guest said. Phil should have remembered his name but Phil was rubbish with names and they all looked the bloody same, same smug expression, same expensive robes, and same doting wife who secretly resented them.

“Yes, it was quite the bunch. One brunet in particular was very striking and caught everyone’s attention, wouldn’t you agree, Prince Philip?” his uncle continued, as his eyes narrowed in on Phil. 

Phil choked on his broccoli.  

“Dear King, isn’t servant talk a little too inappropriate over dinner with our lovely guests? I’m sure they’d be much more interested in hearing about your plans to limit their land?” Phil’s mother cut in, her voice sweet and innocent but she clearly knew exactly what she was doing. The king shot her a pained smile.

“What is this business about our land?” asked the lord now, seemingly forgetting about the subject of servants.  

His mother had been lying. Servant talk wasn’t considered proper etiquette no, especially not with footmen present in the room, but it wasn’t uncommon or considered inappropriate. The nobility loved to gossip and most particularity enjoyed when it entailed gloating over their high status and how they had people obeying their every wink.  

Phil didn’t notice how his glass kept being refilled just a tad after most sips and by the time dinner was finally over and it wasn’t inappropriate for Phil to bid them goodnight, he’d had several glasses.  

He could feel it walking back to his room. He wasn’t drunk by any means, it took a lot more due to his large frame, but he was tipsy. He fumbled with the handle to his door, being always clumsy and currently tipsy didn’t help, but eventually the door swung open.  

~*~

Dan’s eyes snapped open and adrenalin immediately flooded his senses. He didn’t know what time it was or where he was and he was so scared. For a beat, he’d thought he was back where he’d “worked” before and this whole thing sent continuous chills down his spine. 

There was a rustling by the door; seemingly someone trying to get in and Dan’s mind went to a dark place. Who was trying to get into Phil’s chambers? A guard checking up on him? Someone with ill intensions?

The door swung open after Dan had been sitting up blot right for what felt like minutes.  

It was just Phil, Dan realised, even as the tall man stumbled into the total darkness of the room. Dan hadn’t realised that the sun had gone down. He must have been sleeping for quite a while. Dan was almost calm at the sight of Phil until he smelled it.  

Alcohol. 

Dan’s chest constricted. Drinking only lead to horrible things and lost inhibitions almost always brought out dark desires. Dan sat perfectly still, mentally trying to prepare himself with closed eyes, or maybe he was doing it on the odd chance it might actually make him invisible.  

Phil stumbled over his own feet but caught himself and as he looked up, he was staring directly at Dan. 

Dan had expected to see anger or lust flash in Phil’s impossibly blue eyes, which even in this damn dim lightning looked so rich and beautiful. However, it was merely surprise and recollection.  

“Hey Dan, sorry if I scared you,” Phil said and to Dan’s surprise he sounded completely normal. His words weren’t slurred, not one bit, even if he did struggle to keep his balance.  

For a prince, he certainly apologised to a servant a lot.  

“It’s okay,” Dan said because what else could you say. He couldn’t very well admit that it had scared him almost shitless to have Phil tumbling into the room, seemingly drunk out of his mind.  

Dan’s tense posture relaxed just a tiny bit. Phil was not pissed at least, but that didn’t mean Dan had any clue about how the night would go on from here. Phil held all the power and Dan had no say. 

~*~

“I didn’t mean to drink more than one glass but I was a bit on edge,” Phil confessed to Dan. 

Phil felt horrible when he’d startled Dan but he was pleased to see that the brunet was still on the sofa and judging from his squinty eyes, he’d been sleeping. Phil was thrilled that Dan had gotten some rest. 

“I don’t much like dinner parties with my uncle and all his damn guests,” Phil continued and he knew he should stop talking. He wasn’t allowed to express any kind of negative emotion about the king out loud, least of all to a servant. But Phil was just so damn tired of it all and if worst case happened, he’d blame it on the alcohol, even if he felt perfectly clearheaded.

“He always invites lords to dine with us, just because he likes how they practically kiss the ground he walks on. They’re just so honoured to be invited to dine at the castle that they keep showering him in compliments. I also just think that he likes surrounding himself with people below him in rank. It makes him feel more powerful. What a…” 

Phil at least managed to stop himself before he said a certain swearword. That was crossing a line, especially since Phil really didn’t swear. Only his distaste for his uncle brought that out in him.  

“I shouldn’t be telling you that,” Phil said in a hushed voice and went to turn on the lights. Both of them blinked, as it turned a lot brighter.  

Dan was quiet, as he mostly was, unless prompted for a response. Phil wished that he’d just say something on his own accord. Phil on the other hand, couldn’t seem to shut up.  

“They brought you up at dinner,” Phil said softly, as he glanced to see Dan’s brows furrow in confusion.  

“One brunet in particular was very striking and caught everyone’s attention, wouldn’t you agree, Prince Philip?” Phil mimicked his uncle to perfection, though he put on an annoying voice. He’d kept hearing the words over and over again in his head for the last couple of hours.

His mother had stopped the conversation before it had really begun or before anyone would know what had passed but it still hurt. The staff knew and soon everyone else outside of the castle would too. Things like this spread like wildfire.  

Prince Philip had taken personal servant.  

Phil knew what whispers it would create. Phil was just like the rest of nobility, exerting his powers over others and using the loophole in the law to practically enslave someone. They’d have to do whatever Phil wished. And a boy on top of that, what whispers it would create…

Phil laughed hollowly. He just wanted to turn back time and make it so that he never stumbled into the Great Hall with his infamous timing.  

~*~

Dan flinched when Phil said that they’d talked about him at dinner. He wasn’t really surprised, what farmer wouldn’t discuss a new cow they bought but Phil’s tone was so sad and down beaten.  

The sentence that followed was clearly an impression of someone and Phil practically looked murderous as he recited it. Dan couldn’t believe himself as someone, who would be described as striking or attention drawing though.  

He didn’t know what to tell Phil. He almost wanted to console him but he was still keeping his mouth shut and his distance before Phil would inevitably pull him to the bed and have his way with him.

“Would you please say something, Dan? Anything?” Phil asked, his voice still so gentle and his expression a tiny bit broken. “But not because I order you to, but could you just like speak freely? All this silence is doing my head in.” 

“If you’re explicitly asking me to speak, it’ll always be an order,” Dan reasoned, though he understood what Phil meant.  

There had been a time in Dan’s life where he’d proudly opened his mouth at every given chance. It had taken long to beat that out of him but it had happened eventually.

“I suppose,” Phil said and groaned in frustration, though it seemed to be aimed more at himself than Dan. Dan still flinched.  

Phil sat down at the end of his bed and stared straight at Dan. Phil’s glare was so intense and loaded with emotions that Dan was sure this would be the turning point. The lights would be turned off and Phil would strip away this sunshine façade.  

Only he didn’t. 

“I don’t know how to do this, Dan,” Phil confessed. “I didn’t mean to accept a personal servant. I’m not even sure what to do with you… no, not… I mean… not like that. I just don’t know. I’m sure you’re scared and on edge and you have every right to be but just remember I’m on edge too as well as confused and nervous. I didn’t intend for this to happen.” 

Dan gulped. Phil looked so lost and not one bit dangerous. Either this was a very complicated play or Phil was just as lost and confused as Dan.  

“I don’t understand you, Prince Philip,” Dan said. He’d wanted to refrain from using the title, and yet again annoyance flashed over Phil’s features at the mention, but it felt safe and created some distance between them.  

Phil seemed to be a glaring reminder that boys – men – could be nice and endearing and perhaps that was even more dangerous to Dan.  

~*~

Phil had an urge to laugh hopelessly but he supressed it. He could understand why he seemed puzzling to Dan, if only the boy would realise it went both ways.  

“I don’t mean to be difficult to understand, Dan. I’m just being myself. I suppose I might behave a little differently than you’d expect but I can’t help that. I can see you thinking and analysing and trying to put me into a box. I see how you always expect me to react one way and then seem momentarily baffled when I don’t react like you expect.” 

Confusion and surprise flashed over Dan’s features again – case and point.  

“We have to work this out together. If I’m being completely honest,” Phil said and he shouldn’t be honest, not with someone like Dan and yet here he was being entirely earnest, “I’d love to just waltz you out of the castle and have you go your merry way. I don’t like the law that entrapped you, not one damn bit. I’d revoke it if I had the power but I don’t. And if I let you go, they’d find you again and you’d be back in the system all over again.” 

Phil rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes momentarily. He felt stone cold sober by now and kind of missed the giddiness and optimism his tipsiness had brought. 

“You don’t like that law?” Dan asked tentatively, and when Phil looked up to meet brown eyes, he saw wonder.  

Phil shouldn’t be saying that he disapproved of a law the king had made. He shouldn’t even be insinuating it.  

“I hate it,” he said anyway. “And I don’t normally waste my time hating things. Life’s far too precious for that.” 

Before he could say more a yawn overtook him. It was getting late and it had been a very eventful day. He needed to get some sleep.  

Then he remembered. Dan was a personal servant, which normally included bed warming as well as the option for other things. Phil’s ears almost went red with the thought of it. While sharing a bed, even with another man wasn’t something Phil opposed to, he did not want to do that to Dan. Dan would not have any choice but to say yes.  

“Do you want the bed? You’re the guest, so I suppose it’s only fair. I’ll take the sofa tonight and then we can swap tomorrow.” 

~*~

Dan was sure he’d heard wrong. What did Phil mean? Swapping sleeping places? Did he not expect Dan to join him in his bed? 

“Excuse me, what?” Dan said without thinking and wanted to slap himself. He’d been given an out, even if just for tonight – he really didn’t believe that it would be a continuous thing despite Phil’s words. Why did he potentially fuck it up by spurting out nonsense? 

Phil smiled at him, warm and comforting and nothing like a man who’d force you down. 

“I said that I think you should take the bed tonight. I know you just napped on the sofa but the bed is a lot more comfortable and I’d bet you’d have a great sleep in it. It’s something I find myself doubting you have often. So I’ll take the sofa tonight,” Phil said, his voice void of underlying threats, as he gathered some bedding from his closet. 

“You want me to sleep in your bed? Alone?” 

Dan really should have shut up at this point but this confused him to no end. Phil might have been pushed into taking on a personal servant but Dan almost certain that Phil found him attractive, proven by their first encounter behind closed doors. Why did Phil not take advantage that he had a boy in his room that was forced to adhere to his every whim? 

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said with a pained expression on his face. “I told you before that I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t strike you and I most certainly won’t force myself on you. I would never do anything without your consent.” 

“Consent?” Dan snuffed and he should have sewn his own mouth shut because he felt the words bursting to come out. He was so tired and confused and this whole charade was driving him mental. All men were the same, they wanted power and they wanted to have their desires satisfied and they were mean at the core, even if they could hide it outwardly. 

“What? Are you confused what consent means?” Phil asked, and frowned slightly. 

It was enough to make Dan burst. 

“No, I’m fully aware of what it means, Prince Philip. It means that you give permission to another person. But because of my situation, I don’t have the luxury of consent anymore. It’s been ripped away from me, don’t you see? I can’t say no, because I’m nobody. Erased and without rights. Just because of my situation, you essentially always have my consent, even though I’ve not given it!” 

Dan had jumped up from his position on the sofa and he had marched towards Phil, even if he still kept a safe distance. Dan felt torn apart on the inside. So far being with Phil was more emotionally harrowing than physical but somehow that hurt even more.  

~*~

Phil stepped back as if Dan had slapped him across the face, which in a sense he had with his words.  

Dan didn’t believe that he had the option to say no and Phil begrudgingly realised that technically the boy was right. Oh, how he hated that law with a burning passion. Dan had been forced to adhere to the wishes of others, even if it harmed himself, which it clearly had done.  

It was a broken man that stood in front of him and shouted. And yet, it made Phil feel so much better. Dan was finally speaking up; he was finally confronting Phil and speaking his honest mind. Phil knew someone else might have slapped Dan for his outburst, you were certainly not allowed to talk to royalty like that, but Phil didn’t care.  

Still fear flashed in Dan’s eyes, which very suddenly became locked on the floor while his hands balled into fists. 

“I’m sorry, Prince Philip. I should not speak to you like that. I don’t know what came over me.” 

“I do,” Phil said gently and waited until Dan would look up. He could just ask him to look at him but that refuted the point of this free will thing that Dan still had, if Phil had any say in it. 

They stood like that for a long time before Dan carefully looked up to meet Phil’s eyes.  

“You’re just human, Dan. You have emotions and that’s okay. I don’t ever punish you for looking me in the eye or speaking your mind,” Phil said. “Now, I’m going to sleep on the sofa and you do whatever you want. I’d recommend that you do take the bed now that I’ve vacated it for you but I won’t order you to do anything.” 

Phil moved and as he put bedding on the sofa, Dan just stood silently watching from the middle of the room. Phil turned off the lights and snuggled own into his duvet before he spoke again. 

“Goodnight, Dan. I’ll see you in the morning. Please do get some rest if you can.” 

Phil tried not to feel how Dan’s eyes were still honed in on him. It felt uncomfortable to have someone stare at you while you were trying to sleep but if he told Dan not to, then it would come out like an order.  

So Phil just sighed and sunk over into the sofa and slowly drifted off to sleep. He should probably have considered his mother’s warning about Dan being dangerous; surely one of the items in his chambers could be used as a weapon. She definitely wouldn’t approve that he’d gone to sleep before the brunet and left himself completely defenceless.  

But he would have to trust Dan or Dan would never be able to trust him.  

~*~

It seemed Phil had genuinely gone to sleep on the sofa. Dan wasn’t sure how long he’d watched as Phil readied himself for bed. He kept waiting for Phil to turn around with a vicious look in his eyes and reveal this was all a joke.  

It seemed it wasn’t, after Dan had listened to Phil’s gentle snores for the better part of an hour.  

Dan eyed the bed. It did look inviting and comfortable but it also felt so wrong. He’d never been near a bed as fancy as that and to have it there for him to use seemed impossible. He spent a long time staring out of the window after he finally gave up listening to Phil’s breathing.  

The man was truly asleep or he was the best faker Dan had ever encountered. He’d gotten used to learning when people were pretend-sleeping, it helped keep him more conscious of what might happen and be caught less unaware.  

The view from Phil’s window was overlooking a very luscious garden that had a fountain in the middle of it. Dan couldn’t quite make out the figurines on the fountain but he admired how the moon reflected in the water.  

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed up but eventually his legs refused to hold him upright anymore. Without making a final decision about it, he felt his legs carry him towards the prince’s bed. Dan hesitated and shot Phil another weary look before he gave in and climbed under the covers.  

The sheets were so soft against Dan’s skin and on top of it the whole thing smelled comforting. It soothed him away to dreamland before he could make himself paranoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes the very first day day together. Don't worry all days won't be as detailed as this but because it's their first interactions, I quite like including all the details and working out their initial dynamic. I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know your thought?
> 
> And I want to say thank you so much for all the kudos and comments so far. This story has been so well-recieved and I'm still baffled by it. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.


	5. Morning Scare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they woke the following morning, both had momentarily forgotten what had passed the day before. Dan still felt terrified and he kept expecting Phil to show that the whole adorable nice prince wasn't true. Phil wanted nothing more than to have Dan speak to him freely rather than keep looking at the floor.

Phil woke in the early morning when a streak of sunshine landed on his face. He groaned softly and raised a hand to block it. Why was he getting sun in his face? His bed didn’t usually…

Then he remembered. He was on the sofa as he’d offered Dan to sleep in his bed. Dan was in here. He accepted a personal servant yesterday. Had it really only been yesterday? It felt like so much longer ago.

How could he have done it? He’d actually let his uncle bully him into accepting a personal servant and all the implications that came along with that. He’d said yes to everyone seeing Dan and those other young people as less than humans, a situation they had only landed in because of their lack of financial stability. It wasn’t fair. Phil should have said something, he should have stood up to the whole notion and he should have demanded that this had to end.

He was a prince after all.

However, all those thoughts crumbled inside of him again. He couldn’t have done that. He could have tried but it wouldn’t have done anything good. It was a law that enslaved those people and Phil couldn’t fix it with one demand.

Not to mention, his uncle wouldn’t have hesitated a beat to demand him unfit to rule and have him removed from the succession to the throne.

No, Phil had probably done the right thing in the situation, even if it felt horrible then and now.

He rubbed his eyes and reached for his glasses and once his vision came into focus he noticed a startled Dan standing beside his bed, looking absolutely terrified but trying to hide it.

It all came washing over him again. What this law had turned Dan into, how Dan seemed to be traumatised and now still so scared of him, despite the Phil’s protests and reassurances. He didn’t blame Dan for expecting the worst but Phil still hated that Dan had gained that outlook on life.

“Did I startle you?” Phil asked and masked a yawn with his hand. He would have apologised again but Dan always seemed to jump when he heard the word “sorry”.

Dan didn’t say anything; his just fixed his gaze on the floor.

~*~

Dan had been petrified when he’d woken up to a groan and not known where he was. He’d flinched and jumped up with lightning reflexes. The blankets and pillows around him felt so soft, warm and comforting and he had no doubt in his mind that he should not be in them.

He was standing with his bare feet on the cold floor before it came back to him. Prince Philip, his chambers. The prince was rustling awake on his sofa.

Dan’s heartbeat refused to slow down. It was beating so fast that Dan feared it might burst and fail. He knew it wouldn’t. He’d been far more terrified than this before but it was still such a horrible feeling.

Phil didn’t seem to notice Dan one bit; he was preoccupied with rubbing his eyes and muttering to himself. Then he reached for a pair of glasses that Dan had not seen before now and then Phil’s gaze finally settled on him.

Dan had expected to see anger or disgust but he just saw confusion and hurt. When Phil spoke his voice was so low and gruffly that Dan felt almost floored. It sounded rough after being unused while he slept but somehow still light and kind. He had been scared of rough voices all his life but Phil’s made him feel different somehow.

Dan had to look down and away from Phil. He couldn’t understand what Phil wanted from him and it was tearing his mind apart. He didn’t know what to expect with Phil and he couldn’t predict what the prince’s next move would be.

“ _Dan_ ,” Phil spoke softly and his voice wrapped around Dan’s name almost as if he was trying to push love and feeling into his name… and by association into Dan. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Did you sleep well?”

Dan managed a tight-lipped nod without taking his eyes off the floor. He wasn’t supposed to be somewhere this nice. Let alone be allowed to rest in such a nice bed undisturbed.

For the first time in forever, he didn’t wake up with cranks in his neck or new bruises added to his collection. Dan had never been somewhere this nice and the way kindness was basically radiating off of Phil seemed surreal.

Men were not nice. Men were dangerous and men with power were the most dangerous of all.

~*~

Phil tried to hide his disappointed sigh when Dan refused to answer him in anything other than nods. He was determined to get the boy to talk to him out of his own free will. Phil would not force him to do anything.

Maybe Phil could show Dan that people could be nice to him. He didn’t want to see those wide pretty eyes encased in fear when they should be glowing with laughter.

“I’ll call for breakfast for us, would you like anything in particular?” Phil asked and got up to stretch out the sleep of his joints.

Dan still didn’t look up but he did shake his head.

Phil chewed on his bottom lip but he had already decided to wait Dan out again. It had worked yesterday. Dan seemed like a stubborn boy but Phil could also play that game. He was usually fairly impatient but he found that he was able to tap into an unknown supply of patience when it came to Dan. He needed to wait for the boy to meet him where they were equals.

Dan shifted uncomfortably for minutes, which felt like an eternity for Phil, before Dan finally looked up to meet Phil’s eyes.

“No, thank you, Prince Philip,” Dan said.

Phil had to suffocate a wide-eyed glare of surprise. Dan’s morning voice sounded so husky and low. Phil wasn’t used to hear anyone talk after they’d just woken up.

Everything here had to be so proper and you didn’t come out of your room before you were dressed and ready. Phil didn’t try to stop the wide smile, which quickly turned overbearing when he realised Dan had used his title again.

“I really would prefer if you refrained from calling me that, Dan. I’m just Phil, you know. The more time you spend with me, you’ll see I’m not worthy of a title of respect,” Phil said and went over to the intercom to order breakfast.

Dan was having breakfast if Phil could persuade him. He ordered almost twice what he normally would.

~*~

Dan didn’t like when Phil fell completely silent. He was always waiting for the tell-tale sound of footsteps before he’d feel foreign hands take hold of his body. But each time nothing had happened.

Phil had remained completely silent and still, even if Dan could feel eyes stare at him expectantly.

Phil would move on as soon as Dan met his eyes and gave him an answer.

It seemed it was Phil’s method of getting Dan to answer his questions. Most time people would just demand an answer and shout until Dan managed to stutter one out. However, Phil’s approach was different, less invading but still a bit unsettling.

Phil left it up to Dan whether or not to answer but it still didn’t leave him much choice, did it? Dan would have to move eventually and it wasn’t like he could purposely make Phil stand around and just look at him. Besides, Dan felt the pity Phil’s eyes held whenever he eventually looked up to meet them.

Dan still didn’t grasp why Phil was so adamant to be acknowledged without the use of his title. If it was the other way around and Dan had grown up in a house like this, he doubted that he’d have a problem being called Prince Daniel.

Phil finished ordering food and Dan tried not to let his mouth water as Phil spurted off dish after dish into the odd mechanism on the wall.

“Dan, would you be willing so answer a couple of my questions about you while we wait for breakfast?” Phil asked and sat back on the sofa.

Dan flinched but nodded anyway. He had to agree to everything Phil asked of him. That was how this thing worked.

“Of course, sire.”

Phil grimaced and now he was the one staring at the floor. “Never mind, Dan. I can tell you don’t really want to speak about yourself, which I get to be honest, and I don’t want to make you. I was just curious.”

Phil looked up again now and looked across the room straight at Dan.

“I’ll keep telling you that I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. I mean it, Dan. Despite whatever the law says, when we’re alone in this room, I want us to be able to speak freely. You can tell me to piss off if I annoy you. I’ll never raise a hand to you or punish you in any way.”

Dan gulped, touched by Phil’s words but he was also unable to believe them. Phil could literally say whatever he wanted and make a snap judgement and turn it around again. There was nothing but Phil’s word to protect Dan and how was Dan supposed to trust someone he just met, a prince, who agreed to take him on as a personal servant nonetheless?

“I would love to believe you,” Dan muttered under his breath but doubted that Phil heard him.

~*~

Phil did hear him. It created a physical ache within him to hear Dan say that. It confirmed so many suspicions he had about the boy and what he really thought when his mouth stayed locked and his eyes hardly concealed the internal storm of his mind.

Phil was determined though. He’d make Dan trust him and he just had to be patient and gentle. Phil didn’t have many people that he let this close to him and it was scary as hell to have another boy, a stranger, living in his chambers with him but he couldn’t worry about that.

Phil couldn’t let Dan know how he also felt a bit terrified by Dan, though for a different reason than Dan was scared of Phil.

Phil hardly let anyone close enough to properly know him. He was scared that they wouldn’t be able to understand him or that he’d have to hide his odd sides and put on the proper prince etiquette he’d always been taught to uphold. He couldn’t let himself be weird or silly or make genuine friends.

Other than Martyn and Daisy, Phil couldn’t be himself with people. He even had to put on a staged “better” version for his parents, so they wouldn’t be disappointed in whom their son really was.

“We should get you some better clothes today,” Phil said. “Or more pairs at least. To be honest, that doesn’t look very comfortable. Daisy knows some of the maids who make the clothes and she has an agreement with them to make hers a little roomier and more comfortable. I’m sure she’ll be happy to speak on your behalf too.”

Phil would just have to talk to Dan and ensure him through his words and actions that Phil really didn’t wish him any harm. Eventually, Dan would probably play along in the conversation without being forced to answer a question.

~*~

“Actually, I forgot to ask you about Daisy yesterday, right? I was just so caught up in my own mind about my mother and the dinner that it completely slipped my mind. Daisy is great, isn’t she? She has been my friend for as long as I can remember and ever since she started working in the kitchen, she’s been setting aside my favourite cereal on a shelf in the library because she knows I like sneak eating it throughout the day,” Phil continued talking, effortlessly and the words just kept flowing out of him.

Dan almost wanted to chuckle about learning how Daisy hid cereal for Phil in the library. It must mean that he ate it dry, what kind of animal did that? Dan thought with a shake of his head. Even more surprisingly, why would a prince want to sneak eat cereal out of all the things when he could have literally any food he wanted? Cereal seemed like such a novelty.

Dan had liked Daisy quite a lot, though she was slightly overwhelming. Dan had felt more comfortable talking to her than he had Phil because they were closer on the social ladder, though he was sitting on the very bottom.

“I like Daisy,” Dan surprised himself by saying out loud.

Phil broke out into a wide grin as a response.

“I’m glad to hear that,” said a feminine voice that Dan already managed to recognise.

Daisy had let herself into Phil’s room and now stood with a tray and struggled to keep it balanced with pushing through the door.

“Are you doing to help me here, Phil? It’s you who bloody over-ordered!” Daisy barked at the prince and Dan flinched for her.

Had a maid spoken like that to a prince normally she would have been severely scolded but of course, Phil just rushed forward while muttering apologies and helping her.

“I had a sneaking suspicion you’d order a lot this morning and I should just have separated it into two trips but you know me,” Daisy said with a shrug and settled the food on the table.

Dan wanted to ask if it was normal for a kitchen maid to carry up food to a room, which seemed more like a housemaid’s job, but nothing about Phil or Daisy seemed normal. Their entire “friendship” seemed impossible.

However, Dan heard a small nagging voice in the back of his head telling him that Phil felt just the kind of guy who made the impossible possible.

~*~

Phil felt his cheeks rush with embarrassment as he made his feet move to help out poor Daisy. She was a small woman and even with her epic balancing skills, she struggled. Phil had just been so focused on Dan that he hadn’t paid attention to his oldest friend.

“I took two plates up with it,” Daisy said in a hushed voice, meant for only Phil to hear.

He knew that he needed to have a proper conversation with her about Dan’s situation, when the subject of the conversation wasn’t lingering behind them. Thankfully, she didn’t seem hostile or disgusted with Phil even though objectively she should knowing he’d essentially taken on a slave.

“Thanks, Daisy. I really appreciate it,” Phil said and started dividing the food equally onto the two plates immediately. He had a feeling Dan wouldn’t be comfortable taking from shared platters.

“Of course,” Daisy said and helped set out the table.

“Daisy, I wanted to ask you about those housemaids you know? The ones who make the staff uniforms? I would like for them to make a few bits and bops for Dan, so he’s got something to change into. Also he might need custom pants, to actually cover all of his legs.”

Phil sent a careful glance Dan’s way and settled his eyes on Dan’s ankles, which were bare as the pant legs wasn’t long enough. Phil had the same problem but the royal tailor fitted his clothes but Phil doubted that he would tend to Dan, even if Phil asked politely.

“Consider it done, I’ll swing by the room and ask them for a time where they’re not too busy. I’ll stop by them today after the lunch rush and ask,” Daisy said and Phil smiled widely at his friend.

“Thank you, Daisy,” Phil said. He kept thanking her, especially because what he was asking of her was more in the capacities of being his friend, rather than his employee. He was so unsure about the situation with Dan that it felt good to have someone to help him.

“Don’t mention it. Now, how was your first night here, Dan?” Daisy asked Dan, who had taken to staring at the floor again.

Phil wanted to walk up to him and tip his head upwards and make him see the world without the downcast gaze he resigned to too often. But he didn’t dare to get into the brunet’s personal space or force him to do something he didn’t want, no matter how gently Phil planned to approach.

“Good,” Dan replied, his eyes still on the floor.

“Dan, it’s extremely rude not to look at the person you’re talking to,” Daisy snapped at Dan, which made him flinch and look up. She never was a subtle one. She was blunt and honest and she had no time for bullshit, which was why Phil liked her so much.

Right now, he was sending her a silent thank you for making Dan aware of how awkward it was when he refused to look up. Phil didn’t feel it was his place to say it. He always had to think twice about which of his thoughts he were allowed to voice because his title meant his words carried much weight, not just with Dan but with everyone he met.

“Sorry,” Dan muttered and practically forced his neck from clicking back into the old, downcast position.

~*~

Daisy’s voice had made him jump. She had spoken so frankly and with much emotion behind her words. He’d actually forgotten it was common courtesy to look at the person talking to you. Most people liked to have him look away and look submissive, especially because he towered over most people and they needed another advantage.

The kitchen maid was very short but even so, Dan felt small in her presence. She had a glare that could cut through you.

“It’s okay, Dan. It would be odd if you hadn’t gotten out of your old… profession without a few defects. It’ll be better now. But be kind to Phil. I have no doubt that he’s shown you anything other than kindness. It’s only right to respond with it as well.”

Dan looked from Daisy to Phil, who looked a bit uncomfortable with Daisy speaking on his behalf.

“Thanks, Daisy. You’re bias though, we’ve been friends practically our whole life,” Phil interjected.

“Which is why I know you so damn well, Philip Michael Lester. I won’t allow anyone to be rude to you; I would be a bad friend if I did. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, Dan, considering your circumstances but be kind to my friend. You’re lucky to have him.”

“Doesn’t the kitchen miss you?” Phil said and practically went to shove her out of the door.

“You know I can’t shut my trap, Phil,” Daisy said, pausing in the doorway. “Yours is sewn shut half of the time, and I have to make up for it. Good day, boys.”

Phil nervously ran a hand through his hair and then went over to the mirror to make it fall back into place.

“Sorry about Daisy,” Phil told Dan. “She wasn’t kidding when she said that she has difficulties knowing when to stop talking. She’s just trying to look out for me. Now, come on, join me for breakfast?”

Dan heard last sentence, which could have come out as a command but instead it carried the intonation of a question. Dan didn’t feel comfortable dining with a prince when he’d gotten accustomed to being tossed scraps.

However, Daisy had just called him out on being rude and Dan had a feeling she’d see him refusing to join Phil for breakfast an action of the same calibre. She’d already made Dan feel guilty for all the times he’d tried not to look up to meet Phil’s eyes.

He suddenly got why Phil had been waiting for him to raise his eyes to continue the conversation.

“Okay,” Dan forced over his lips and went to sit down on the padded chair. His chambers had padded chairs for heavens sake!

Dan did not belong in here. However, when Phil grinned at him widely and happily, it put Dan a bit more at ease.

The food in front of him was so exquisite and it smelled wonderful. It was the most luxurious breakfast Dan had ever seen. Bacon, scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms, toast with butter and sausages lay in a scramble on his plate and his portion was enormous. It was also the exact same like Phil’s.

“I don’t think I can eat all this,” Dan muttered to himself, hoping Phil wouldn’t expect him to. Maybe he was just fattening him up to make him more appealable and that was why Phil hadn’t touched him yet.

“It’s okay if you can’t,” Phil said. “I did go a bit overboard. Daisy usually comes by and collects it and shares it with some of the children of the staff. But please don’t let that hold you back. Eat whatever you want.”

Dan looked down at the overflowing plate. He woke up alone in a lavish bed and now he was offered what would have fed his entire family for two days as his breakfast. He felt like he’d woken up in some odd dimension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Honestly, bless Daisy. I love her character so damn much. She's the only real friend Phil has ever had and she cares for him so much. Remember that Dan isn't being rude or skittish on purpose, he's just still waiting for the other shoe to drop (I'll let you guess if it ever will). 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and all the support you've given the story so far. Every single comment makes me so happy. So thank you.


	6. Getting Used To Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To fill the silence as they eat breakfast together, Phil proposes that they take turns asking questions to get to know each other better. Dan is very sceptical but he's as curious about the odd prince as the prince is about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend Julia (@Julliecious on here) made fanart for this story! [Check it out here.](http://natigail.tumblr.com/post/165077278252/pasteldab-trust-me-im-broken-too-made-for-my) Thank you so much again.

Phil started digging into the food. He’d been so anxious at the dinner last night that he’d hardly eaten anything. He’d spent most of his time pushing his food around, sipping wine and pretending to be invisible.

Dan approached the food much more carefully, after he’d admired the fork for a whole minute, but Phil was happy to see that he was at least eating.

“Phil?” Dan said after a few mouthfuls and his voice was testing and unsure. “Did I make you mad by not looking you in the eye?”

Phil swallowed the food in his mouth before he attempted to answer but he noted how Dan seemed to force his eyes to look straight forward, even if they landed on Phil’s shoulder rather than his eyes.

“I wasn’t mad,” Phil tired to explain. “I just wanted you to be able to talk to me without me having to make you, same with meeting my eyes. It’s a rude gesture objectively but I probably can’t even begin to understand why it’s something you do so automatically.”

Dan’s brows furrowed and he absentmindedly chewed slightly on his bottom lip.

“Sorry but today and yesterday has been the oddest thing I’ve ever experienced,” Dan said and pressed his lips into a tight line.

Silence fell over them as they ate. Phil was reluctant to break it because despite everything, it felt sort of comfortable. He’d usually eat breakfast alone, though on rare days Daisy stuck around for a while longer. It was odd to sit across from someone who he’d known for only a day and yet Phil had spent so much of that time in Dan’s company that the prince was beginning to slowly get used to the odd brunet boy now sleeping in his chambers.

Phil was brimming with curiosity but he was also wary. Dan’s life up until this point was probably a very touchy subject and Phil wolfed down food to keep the questions stacking up in his mind from spilling out and offending the younger boy.

Dan was nipping at his food at best but at least the boy was still eating. He looked deep in thought and Phil let him be. Phil couldn’t even begin to understand what it had been like to have your free will ripped from you and have to obey the commands of others.

Okay, maybe he understood it a tiny bit with all the rules he had to abide by but he was very aware that his situation was much better than Dan’s.

“What questions did you want to ask me?” Dan asked in a very hushed voice, eyes on the food he was pushing around on his plate. He lifted his eyes to meet Phil’s.

“What?” Phil said because he felt so taken aback but Dan breaking the silence.

Dan looked so guarded and worried as he held Phil’s eye contact but he didn’t cast his eyes away.

“You can ask me your questions, Prince Philip. I was rude before.”

“No,” Phil assured him. “You weren’t rude, Dan. You were protecting yourself, which is perfectly understandable. I didn’t mean to make you engage in something that makes you uncomfortable. I was simply curious about the man I let into my chambers. I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

~*~

Dan gripped his fork a little tighter. Phil sounded so damn sincere and it was throwing Dan off yet again.

“I don’t mind,” Dan said with what he hoped was a resolute intonation.

Phil seemed to mull over it while chewing on a bit mouthful of food. Phil had been eating like he was the ravenous one from the moment conversation had subsided between them. Dan had reluctantly started eating too and the food was so amazing and like nothing he’d ever tasted. Still, he was worried about making his stomach upset and the nagging thought that Phil might have had Daisy put something in the food to drug him kept him cautious.

He wasn’t sure if Phil would do that but someone before had done that, because the bearded man had like Dan to be practically unable to struggle at all. After that Dan had only eaten small amounts of food at a time.

“What if we make it so that you can ask me too?” Phil proposed. “I ask five questions and you ask five questions. We’ll do one and then pass the metaphorical talking stick over to the other. I could imagine you have some questions about me?”

Dan frowned in confusion. Of course, Phil would suggest something like that. He seemed adamant to make sure that Dan was on the same level as himself, even if they were factually as far away from each other as possible.

Still, the prospect intrigued him. He did have questions and they still rung out inside of his skull, even as he’d learnt to muzzle his mouth.

“I’d be allowed to ask anything?”

Phil seemed to gulp. “Yes,” Phil agreed hesitantly. “But you might ask something I’m not willing to answer and then I won’t. The same will apply to you. If you don’t want to answer my question, you can just say pass and we’ll move on.”

“No substitute question?”

“No.”

“How do you know I won’t just say pass to all five then?” Dan asked with a cold tone in his voice.

“That’s your choice, Dan. I’ve said it before; with me you’ll always have a choice. Or we can just not do it at all if the whole thing makes you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Dan rushed to say. His eagerness made Phil grin and Dan’s subconscious registered that the prince looked cute when he did that. “I want to play.”

~*~

“Excellent,” Phil said and his head was already buzzing. He had so many questions for Dan and now that he actually had the opportunity to voice them, his mind was unhelpfully drawing a blank. He should have written them down beforehand or something but this situation was happening right now and Dan seemed rather calm.

“Did you poison my food?” Dan asked before Phil could say anything else.

Phil’s head snapped up and his mouth fell open as surprise and disgust and sadness all settled on his face.

“What? No!” Phil blurted out and he could be mistaken but he swore that Dan’s shoulders dropped a bit, letting go of some of the tension that seemed to burden them constantly.

Dan nodded resolutely.

Phil wanted to ask if anyone had ever done that to make Dan bring it up but he didn’t really need to. He just needed to look at the boy to know that the question did stem from personal experience. Phil’s guts twisted and he let his fork drop to the plate as his appetite plummeted.

“Dan,” Phil called softly and his heart soared at the brunet looked up to meet his eyes without much hesitance. “I’d never poison your food. Never.”

“Okay.”

Dan looked so guarded and Phil wanted to pull the boy into a hug to make things better and offer physical support to calm him down but touching Dan right now would probably wouldn’t do any good, no matter Phil’s intentions.

“Besides, Daisy would never let me compromise with the taste of her cooking,” Phil joked trying to lighten the mood. Dan huffed out what could have been a snort of laughter and Phil smiled widely.

He’d yet to see the boy smile or laugh but he’d get there eventually.

“Okay, for my first question. I’d like to know if there is anything I can do to make this whole thing more comfortable for you?”

~*~

“That’s your first question?” Dan asked in disbelief. Here Phil was allowed to ask him anything about himself and he wanted to know what he could do to make this whole thing more bearable for Dan.

This prince was surely off his rocker.

“Erm…” Dan hesitated. Phil had been extremely kind and Dan didn’t really want to insinuate ungratefulness. Frankly, Phil had gone out of his way to make him comfortable already, which was unsettling but also oddly nice.

There was only one thing.

“Maybe taking these off?” Dan said hopeful in a very quiet voice as he lifted his hands to indicate his shackles.

“I can’t believe I forgot!” Phil said and he actually smacked himself over his head. “I… Dan, I’m sorry about that. It must have totally slipped my mind. We’ll go get them taken off right after breakfast. I promise.”

Dan was surprised at the sincerity in Phil’s voice.

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course, I do. I wanted to do it yesterday. Actually, I even talked to my mother about it…” Phil’s voice trailed off and the prince frowned but he pushed away whatever had been on his mind momentarily to smile at Dan again.

“After breakfast, I promise,” Phil said. “Now, hit me with your next question.”

~*~

Phil’s mother had warned him about taking the shackles off Dan but Phil didn’t care. He couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten about Dan being in shackles. It must have been so uncomfortable to sleep in. He felt like an idiot.

“What does a prince actually do?” Dan asked.

Phil smiled at the simplicity of the question but he was understood why Dan might be baffled what royals actually did in their day-to-day life.

“Well, since I’m not a crown prince, I don’t really have to train to take after the king. Mostly, my duties include attending events and representing the royal family. Once a month, my brother or I answer questions from the population about anything, though all questions have been cleared beforehand. It’s mostly ceremonial for me. Most days, I find myself reading a book or spending time in the garden. One day, I’ll be expected to marry a princess from one of the other kingdoms but I’m stalling that as long as possible.”

He shouldn’t give such a detailed answer but he found himself speaking more freely in front of Dan. It was the same ease, which he regarded Martyn or Daisy with but Phil was still baffled it felt like that. He’d known his brother and best friend for practically his whole life and here he was with just a day into knowing Dan.

Dan looked very thoughtful at the last part of Phil’s answer but he didn’t press on. Phil wondered if Dan would use one of his questions to ask a follow-up on the topic of Phil marrying a princess. Phil might have to pass up that one because he already felt bad.

It was tradition to marry princes and princess from different kingdoms in effort to fortify certain bonds and trade deals. That didn’t mean that Phil had to like the prospect of marrying and spending his life with someone he didn’t get to pick. He decided to move on before he got too worked up about it.

“Dan, would you like for me to send word to your family?”

~*~

“My f-family?” Dan stuttered. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I could send word for them that you’re here and that you’re… safe. I could get a letter from you to them and maybe we could even work out that they could come a see you somehow.”

Phil clearly wanted to help but Dan’s chest constricted at the thought. It was his father’s financial mistake that had even made this whole thing happen. Adrian was still at risk if he didn’t qualify for a scholarship. However, the prospect of actually seeing him or being reminded of what he’d been through didn’t sit right with Dan.

He’d rather that his brother didn’t get a reminder of what could happen. His parents hadn’t been able to protect him and he didn’t want that thrown back in their faces either, no matter how he could detest them at occasion.

“No.”

“Dan, are you…”

“I said no!” Dan exclaimed and clenched his fists so hard that his nails were undoubtedly biting into his skin leaving tiny scars. Fear shook him when he’d realised that he’d raised his voice at Phil yet again but the prince still didn’t look mad. He just looked hurt.

“Sorry,” Dan muttered under his breath and focused his eyes on the plate of half-eaten food in front of him.

“It’s okay, Dan. We’ll move on. What would you like to ask me as your third question?”

Dan mulled it over in his mind. He had been wondering something and though Phil had been dropping clues about it, Dan found himself wanting a straight answer.

“Why do you not like being called Prince Philip?”

~*~

Phil was worried for Dan but his family was obviously a very sore subject for Dan and he had to respect that. He was happy that Dan’s question yet again wasn’t that hard to answer, even if it slightly went against some of the many rules Phil had to abide by.

“I don’t like being referred to like that because it’s a moniker that I just inherited as a birth right. What did make me worthy of being born into a life of luxury, where I could never end up in your position? I could have been born to a poor widowed woman and I could be in your place. I don’t like titles that you haven’t earned, so I prefer not to be reminded of mine in every single conversation.”

Dan was studying him as he spoke. Phil could feel the brown eyes looking him over. Phil felt like a puzzle being solved, pieces slotting into space in Dan’s brain the more Phil revealed about himself. Phi couldn’t blame him; he did very much the same thing to Dan.

They were both trying to figure each other out.

“How can you be like that?” Dan asked in wonder.

“I think it’s my turn to ask a question, Dan, so I won’t count that as an official one but it’s not really one I can answer either? Perhaps it’s some aspect of my personality, maybe it’s the environment I grew up in and watching people who misuse titles and the power that comes along with them?” Phil stated rhetorically and added a hint of humour in his voice to lighten the situation.

Dan’s face was blank and difficult to read as Phil spoke. The boy was giving him nothing to work with. Phil didn’t truly know how to explain why he worked the way he did.

“Are you ready for my next one, Dan?”

Dan nodded.

“Remember you’re allowed to say pass if you don’t want to answer,” Phil reminded him and didn’t continue until Dan nodded again. “How many people have you been a personal servant to?”

Phil was rather anxious to ask but he needed to know. It had been driving him crazy but he was also more than aware that Dan would likely make use of his pass.

~*~

Dan froze as the question left Phil’s lips. He’d expected something like that. This was the kind of questions he’d been sure that Phil would force him to answer. However, the black-haired prince was watching almost nervously and looked like someone had already turned him down.

He was probably expecting Dan to use his pass on this one.

Dan kind of wanted to. He did actually believe that Phil wouldn’t be mad at him if he dodged the question, as wild at the notion seemed to the scared part within himself that Dan had become so accustomed to. However, what harm would it do for Phil to know how many times Dan had changed his “place of employment” for the last three years since her got into the system?

“Eight.”

Dan didn’t try to elaborate or anything. Just sating the number was enough to feel like his soul was being torn out. He didn’t want to go through the memories. Some of them hadn’t been that bad everything considered but some of them had been very horrible. Those men were the reason Dan woke up with a start and flinched whenever someone came to close to him.

Phil looked like on the brink of saying something but keeping it at bay. Dan could be mistaken but it looked like Phil’s eyes were welling up slightly. Great, Dan didn’t want pity for the royal prince.

“You aren’t going to start crying on me, are you, Prince Philip?”

Dan’s poor attempt at a snide remark came out more humorous than intended and Phil blinked his eyes rapidly to clear away any moisture and then smiled crookedly instead.

“I’m pretty confident that one of the big no-no’s for a prince is crying, so no, I will not be doing that, Dan, but thank you for your concern.”

Dan was happy that the mood changed between them. This thing was complicated to navigate and Phil wasn’t like any of the eight others that came before him. Firstly, he hadn’t once tried to put his hands on Dan or make him do demeaning work. Still, history told Dan that this fairy-tale situation wouldn’t carry on forever. He was too much of a realist and he’d seen the ugly far too often to believe in something as sugar-sweet as Phil Lester.

He seemed too good to be true but maybe Dan could put that to the test.

“Do you really hate the law?”

~*~

Now, it was Phil’s turn to flinch. He didn’t need Dan to specify which law he was talking about. Phil remembered what he’d said last night when he’d been blissfully tipsy and relieved that his mother had protected him when his uncle had been intent on ridiculing him.

He shouldn’t have said that out loud. It was against the law and a sure-fire way to get him removed to the succession to the throne.

He should use his pass for this one but he’d already told Dan once and the boy was just looking for a confirmation. Phil knew logically he was probably safe from anyone believing the word of Dan because of his societal status.

He was mad at his brain for even going there. Dan’s word should be worth as much as Phil’s. It was wrong that it wasn’t. Just because of how wrong the law was, Phil felt spited to answer. He wouldn’t be able to hide behind intoxication this time but he didn’t care.

“Yes, I hate the law. I don’t think the solution to having young people in need of financial support is to take away their rights and make them work without getting paid. And that’s just the surface level of the law. What goes on behind closes doors…”

Phil cut himself off. Dan actually had experience with it and he hadn’t just heard rumours but experienced it himself.

“You really feel that way. I thought it was something I dreamt,” Dan said, his voice small, almost seeming cowered.

“I do. But… I shouldn’t be saying it out loud. It’s wrong to oppose a law made by our king,” Phil said and wondered if he sounded as miserable as he felt.

~*~

Phil sounded positively miserable. Dan couldn’t quite bring himself to trust the royal’s words but he felt able to breathe a little easier. Subconsciously, he was still waiting for Phil to switch and turn out mean. He was in a place of power and people in power were always the worst kind of people.

“Okay, Dan. You really don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want to but… have anyone hurt you? I’m sorry for asking but I just… my mind is making up all these terrible things and I don’t know… I… I’m not sure why I’m asking.”

“Pass,” Dan said without thinking. He couldn’t go down that path. No way. Instinctively, his body waited for the strike for disobeying but it didn’t come. Phil hadn’t moved a muscle, in fact he looked afraid to move and so regretful.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said. “Let’s move on to your final question instead, Dan.”

After current events all pre-considered questions fled Dan’s mind. He only had one that he was able to ask.

“Do… d-d you really mean it when you say that that you won’t do anything without my consent?” Dan asked and hated how his voice was trembling underneath every word.

It made him feel weak and vulnerable and he didn’t like that one bit.

Phil’s worry and frozen stance melting into hung shoulders and a compassionate smile.

“I mean it, Dan. You have nothing to worry about from me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did something to hurt you. This is a horrible situation for you and I can only hope to make it more bearable. Maybe when the law is going up to revision in a year, they’ll kill it and you’ll be able to go back to your life,” Phil said forced hopefulness.

Dan wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to go back to his life before. It had been three years of misery and his spirit felt broken beyond repair. He also didn’t share Phil’s optimism that the law would be dissolved. It was a perfect way to get practically free labour and the people who the kingdom would usually have to give financial support didn’t cost a penny anymore.

There was a sigma about people who got turned into what Dan had been. People thought that it was their own fault and he’d been spit on when he was out on the street running errands before.

He’d tried running away but they’d always found him again. He wondered if Phil even knew about the tracking chip embedded into his neck. It didn’t do any harm but it was impossible to remove without a trained surgeon.

“Dan, for my final question, I’d like to know if you would ever, in any space of time, be able to trust me?” Phil asked and his voice was soft and tender like it usually was.

It sounded like the voice of someone you could trust. Phil’s eyes practically exuded trustworthiness but Phil was a prince and he had taken Dan on as a personal servant.

He was probably like all the other ones, his mind told him.

His heart wanted to be hopeful and believe that maybe, just maybe, all men weren’t evil power hungry bastards determined to rip him apart.

~*~

“I don’t know, Phil,” Dan said, his voice sounded broken.

Phil noticed the way he said his name: sans title and using the shortened form. Even if Dan’s answer felt difficult to accept, Phil was glad that Dan was being honest with him. Honesty could pave the road to trust. Phil just had to keep faith that behind Dan’s cold eyes, there was someone who still believed in humanity.

“Thank you for your honesty, Dan,” Phil said. “And for playing along in that little question game. I’m glad to know more about you.”

“I guess it was okay,” Dan said with a shrug and chewed down on another tiny bite before putting his fork down and leaning back and away from the table.

Phil happily noted that Dan had eating over half of the food on his plate.

“I’m happy you indulged me, Dan,” Phil said and smiled widely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was very dialogue heavy and didn't do much in terms of plot but it was honestly so important for the boys to get to actually ask some of the questions they had been considering since they met. Did you sense the trend with Phil's questions? 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. Next one will be going up in a week, on Saturday the 16th of September.


	7. Going Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First order of business that morning after breakfast was to get Dan out of his shackles. However, Phil couldn't quite have predicted how Dan would react to the seemingly intimidating black smith that had to force them off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: vomit (mild), flashback to trauma (not very explicit) - not sure it's needed but just in case.

After they finished up with breakfast, Dan wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He was full and well rested for the first time in what felt like years. He still didn’t know what Phil wanted from him. Even if the prince seemed content with just chatting and getting to know Dan, he must have at least some assignments in mind for him.

Dan might be inclined to believe that Phil wouldn’t make a move towards him but surely a prince had a lot of demeaning tasks that needed to be done. He had servants, guards and maids at his disposal already but they were paid employees and Dan was… well, he was supposed to do whatever Phil asked of him, no questions asked and with no right to deny it.

“What do I need to do today?” Dan asked and ran his hands along the collar of his shirt. It might have been nicer than the stuff he was used to wearing but it was itchier too.

“What do you mean?” Phil asked as he walked over to the wardrobe and started undressing by pulling his nightshirt over his head. Dan promptly turned around to give Phil privacy but wondered if the prince even needed it. He didn’t seem even remotely uncomfortable undressing in front of Dan and he was going it so causally that Dan wondered if that was a general thing and not specific to him. Maybe it was normal for the royals to do that.

“Little warning next time?” Dan found himself saying and then bit down on his lower lip, worrying he’d spoken out of terms again.

“What?” Phil asked and sounded oblivious.

Great, now this was just becoming awkward. However, Dan noticed how his body didn’t flinch like before because Phil’s tone was still casual and Dan was surprised to learn he hadn’t flinched away with the fear of being struck.

Dan gestured with behind him with his left hand. His back still remained turned, so that he couldn’t see Phil. Phil didn’t say anything and Dan felt a knot of uncertainty form in his stomach. Phil wasn’t undressing in front of him to wind him up, right?

“The undressing,” Dan muttered.

~*~

“Oh!” Phil exclaimed and slapped his hand over his mouth. He hadn’t even thought about it. It was so routine for him and he’d been undressing in front of tailors since he was young. But he could see how that would make Dan uncomfortable, especially considering the brunet’s past.

“I’m…”

“Don’t say sorry again, please,” Dan interrupted, still talking with his back turned towards Phil.

“Apologising is a sign of politeness, Dan. It’s another thing that’s been drilled into me from a young age. I don’t mean to offend you with either. I’ll try my hardest to warn you before I start stripping.”

Dan made a sound of acknowledgement and Phil quickly dressed in his everyday clothes. It was a quiet day for him thankfully with just a lunch at the opening at a local Inn and then family dinner in the evening as usual. Before Dan happened, he’d planned to spend the morning reading in the library or sitting outside in the sun and watching all of his plants thrive. Now he could spend it showing Dan around. They could do the garden this morning and the library this afternoon.

The intercom buzzed and Phil went over to press it.

“Phil?” sounded Daisy’s modified voice. “I talked to the housemaids and they are free just before lunch to take measurements of Dan and then they can have his new clothes ready by the morning.”

“Thank you, Daisy. You’re a gem.”

“Don’t you forget it, Philly,” Daisy chuckled and the intercom twisted her laughter to sound somewhat mechanic, which just made Phil smile wider.

Phil let go of the intercom and found Dan staring out of the window. Phil quickly made his way to the washroom to freshen up. When he came back into the bedroom, Dan was still standing unmoving by the window. The boy looked lost in thought and Phil made sure to make his steps very audible so he didn’t startle Dan.

~*~

Phil was walking up behind him and Dan’s body tensed automatically. Maybe the flinching was progress but he still couldn’t erase years of torment in a day. How wonderful it would be if that were the case. Maybe in a fairly-tale world just a hug from Phil could have washed all his troubles away but unfortunately, Dan lived in the real world.

“It’s a beautiful garden,” Dan commented and recalled what Daisy had told him about Phil often hiding away in the garden.

Dan remembered what he’d been told about Phil before he met him. He was notorious for being the secluded and mysterious prince, the younger brother of Prince Martyn and third in line to the throne.

Nobody knew a lot about Phil. He was on outings with other royals often enough but he never spoke up and the papers never wrote anything personal about him because he didn’t reveal anything about his personal life to people. Dan thought maybe Daisy and his actual family would be exceptions to that rule.

Then he recalled how Phil had been open and frank with him from the moment that they met and how him taking a personal servant would probably have made it into tomorrow’s paper if it wasn’t already in today’s already.

Again, Dan wondered why Phil had actually accepting taking a personal servant, for real. He should have used that as one of his five questions but in the heat of the moment his mind had gone absolutely blank.

“I’d like to show it to you, if you like,” Phil said and looked past Dan’s shoulder into the garden below his window.

“I’m allowed outside?” Dan wondered out loud and immediately regretted it when Phil’s face fell and he looked so sad, before the royal painted on a smile to cover the lapse of control.

“Of course, you’re allowed outside,” Phil said with conviction. “I’m your… I mean I can say… It’s my call, right?”

Dan almost found it endearing that Phil had trouble referring to himself in connection to Dan. Others had called themselves “employer”, “owner”, “master” and a few more that Dan didn’t even want to think about.

“I suppose so,” Dan said and let out a dry sarcastic chuckle.

“Go get cleaned up in the bathroom. I put out another toothbrush for you and feel free to use anything else in there. I realise it was a mistake not telling you that yesterday before I left for dinner.”

“Oh, right. Thanks,” Dan said and headed to the bathroom where he gently pulled the door shut. He hadn’t actually needed the toilet yesterday, his body usually too dehydrated and starved to need to visit it often. Brushing his teeth would have been nice but he was sad to admit that he’d stopped worrying about it too much after having been denied personal hygiene for extended periods of time.

However, he’d consumed a lot of food and water over the past 24 hours and brushing his teeth with a new and fancy toothbrush felt like heaven, even if he had to struggle a bit to reach with his shackles. In moments like these, he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop but when he excited the bathroom Phil was just excitedly waiting for him by the door.

~*~

Dan looked better by the time he walked out of the washroom but Phil was reminded of the shackles and decided to make a move straight for the forge and get those off. He could ask for the key but he didn’t want to have to explain or defend why he wanted Dan out of shackles. He didn’t care about his mother’s warnings or how some personal servants were kept in them at all times. He wasn’t worried that Dan might try and off him in the night, even if he should probably be warier of the boy than he’d been.

Phil walked side by side with Dan and whenever Dan tried to fall behind, Phil would wait for the other boy to catch up. Dan sent him a look that told Phil that he was well aware of what the prince was doing but Phil just smiled innocently in return. He’d not let Dan go behind him like some kind of dog following its owner.

Ignore the looks was easier than Phil thought it would be. He was a prince and he used to being looked at and observed. He had years of training in it and he knew most people found him odd with the way how he’d rather be curled up in a reading nook in the library or tending to his plants and flowers over attending glamorous events, sucking up to the king or showing his bravery in stupid displays of physical strength. He was nothing like a prince should be but thankfully his older brother was and Phil rested easy knowing Martyn would be the perfect king some day.

Dan seemed more uncomfortable under the stares but he didn’t seem too bothered. Perhaps, he’d learnt to tune them out over the past few years of being practically enslaved and looked down upon by everyone, including the people who “bought” him.

Phil greeted the guards manning the castle entry heartedly and ignored how they stared at Dan, clearly at the brink of saying something. They didn’t because while Phil was smiling and generally a friendly guy, he was still a member of the royal family and they couldn’t question a prince taking his personal servant along with him.

Phil strolled into the forge and silently thanked someone that it was located right outside in the courtyard.

“Willard!” Phil called out in singsong and saw the big man that was the castle’s official black smith.

Dan seemed to almost hide behind Phil when Willard walked over to them. The man was even taller than Dan but also at least twice as wide as Phil. He had a black beard covering most of his face and looked intimidating unless you like Phil knew he was just a big softie, who absolutely adored horses. Willard had planned to just be a smith to take care of horses’ hooves but he was amazing with wrought iron and steel and he was now making weapons as well.

“Prince Philip. Good to see you!”

Phil rolled his eyes at the title like he always did but Willard had adamantly told Phil that he would never stop calling him it, so there was no point in trying to correct it. Phil wondered if the black smith did it mostly to wind him up after he learnt how much Phil disliked it.

“Is this the personal servant that everybody is talking about?” Willard asked and nodded towards Dan, who was still lingering by the door, seemingly ready to flee any minute. He looked downright terrified by Willard.

“Yes,” Phil said and found him caring about appearance for the first time since he walked out of his room with Dan. He wouldn’t say that he was friends with Willard but they were on good terms and he didn’t want the black smith to think of him as someone who’d take on a personal servant for the obvious reasons.

“Good seeing you, kid,” Willard greeted Dan, who only managed a weak nod.

~*~

Phil was talking with the black smith and explaining the situation of Dan’s shackles but Dan didn’t care. He was ready to walk around with these for the rest of eternity if he didn’t have to go near that Willard character.

He brought up some very, very bad memories for Dan and he was fighting to keep the flashbacks at bay. He couldn’t let his mind go back to that time.

“Isn’t that a plan, Dan?” Phil asked him and looked at him with slight worry in his eyes. Dan had no clue what he said but nodded anyway.

“Come over here then, kid, and we’ll get those off you in a jiffy,” the bearded man said and Dan had to force his legs to obey.

He forced his mind to shut off and just followed the black smith’s instructions while closing his eyes for most of it. The hammer fell on the locks and Dan wondered if someone didn’t have a key, so that he could avoid this nightmare but he didn’t voice any of his thoughts. It felt like forever but in reality it probably was only a few minutes.

Every time the forger hammer fell, Dan flinched and almost got up and ran away. It thankfully sounded very different from a fist hitting skin and bone but it was still not good.

“All done,” the black smith said and Dan literally bolted out the door. He made it just outside before he kneeled over and emptied the content of his stomach.

His whole body was shaking.

~*~

Phil tried to follow Dan outside but when he saw how Dan was reacting he stayed back and watched at a safe distance. If it has been Daisy, he’d have walked up to her and held back her hair and rubbed her back, just like he’d done when the kitchen maid had drunk too much one time.

Instead, Phil stayed in the door way and shot Willard an apologetic look.

“Come here, Phil,” the older man beaconed and Phil reluctantly left the doorway. He knew technically this was the perfect opportunity for Dan to run away and Phil wouldn’t blame him if he tried. He was just worried because he knew Dan would be caught and Phil would not be allowed to take… own… be in charge of Dan again.

“That boy is troubled, son,” Willard said to him in a hushed whisper. “What have you done accepting a personal servant, Prince Philip? It does not seem like you.”

Phil felt tongue-tied but he had to explain or everything would become worse.

“I can’t tell you exactly how but my uncle put me in a position where accepting a personal servant was the only option,” Phil says and huff out tired breath.

“And your uncle insisted you take on that shaking mess? Prince Philip, he looks like he might snap any moment and you just got him out of his restraints,” Willard said and Phil appreciated the worried tone in the older man’s voice.

“I will be fine. Dan wouldn’t do something like that,” Phil said with false conviction because he truly didn’t know Dan well enough to make that call. He wanted to believe in and trust Dan so badly that he could almost fool himself into believing his own words.

“Be careful, my prince. A lot of people around here care for you,” Willard warned before turning back to his work.

“I will and thank you for helping, Willard. I’m sorry on Dan’s behalf,” Phil said before he ducked outside and saw Dan sitting down along the front a few metres away from the vomit.

“Hey,” Phil said and crouched down next to Dan but kept a certain distance. “Do you need a moment? We can go back to my chambers. We don’t need to see the garden if you don’t feel up for it.”

~*~

Dan still felt like he was shaking but going back inside wouldn’t make it any better. It would probably make it even worse if he were in a confined space with too much time to dwell on his thoughts.

“I’d like to see the garden,” Dan said and looked to Phil and made his best attempt at a smile. It probably just looked like a sick grimace.

“Sure,” Phil replied anyway and shot Dan another one of those bright smiles. “I’ll just get you a glass of water and I’ll be right back.”

Phil ran off and Dan put his head backwards to lean on the wall behind him. Phil actually seemed to be going back inside of the castle to retrieve him some water. It wasn’t until he saw the back of Phil disappear, he realised what this looked like.

Phil had just abandoned his personal servant while they were outside the castle walls and Dan had just had his shackles removed. He’d almost forgotten that fact when his mind went haywire but how he found himself rubbing his wrists. He’d been out off shackles occasionally over the past three years but he’d spent the majority of his time in them.

He could make a run for it. Maybe he could even get to somewhere and dig out his GPS chip. He sighed and slumped down. He’d need a trained surgeon to do that and attempting to do it himself would probably cause nerve damage that he couldn’t come back from.

Besides, it actually didn’t sit right with him to run away from Phil. Dan had run away from previous places at the beginning and losing him meant that he’d go on to a different place. There was one particular place that he’d tried to escape from so, so many times but it had taken him nearly a year to succeed. That was from the man Willard reminded him of.

If Phil was telling the truth, then Dan had really stuck jackpot of personal servant owners. He closed his eyes and willed his head to stop spinning and his stomach to settle down. He wasn’t going anywhere. It was pointless to escape anyway.

~*~

Phil made it all the way to his room before he remembered that it was probably very unwise to leave Dan this much alone. This was quite the escalation from worrying with him right outside the door.

But Phil had wanted to pick up a couple of painkillers too. Dan looked worse for wear and the boy hadn’t even heard him when Phil tried to ask Dan multiple times what was wrong while he was shaking on the work bench. It had been like Dan had gone to a different place and Phil did not think that it was a happy one.

When he came back outside with a bottle of water and two painkillers, Dan was still sat in the same spot on the ground while resting his head on his knees, which he had pulled to his chest. Phil exhaled a tense breath he didn’t realise that he’d been withholding.

“Hey, I brought you some painkillers too, if you’d like,” Phil said and gave Dan the water and offered the two pills in an open palm.

Dan looked up at him meekly and took a sip of the water. He extended his hands and in the most gentle and careful way lifted the pills from Phil’s palm, completely without touching. Phil wondered why it hurt that Dan wouldn’t even risk a brief touching of skin while taking something from his palm.

“Thank you, Phil,” Dan said when he’d downed the two pills and most of the bottle.

“Still feeling up for the garden? I won’t mind if we wait. Honestly, Dan, you don’t look too good.”

“Ouch, now my ego is bruised as well as my mind,” Dan joked and for a brief moment there was a glimmer in the brunet’s eyes, even if it faded quickly.

“You know I happen to find sarcastic comments endearing, Dan.”

~*~

Dan almost smiled at that. He’d been more liberal with what left his mouth since he’d woken up this morning. All this social interaction was winding him down a bit but at the same time it felt nice to be around Phil.

He’d debated whether he should accept any pills from Phil. This could be the trap. They did look like completely regular painkillers but they could be drugs or something. Dan had learnt to inspect his food before eating it at previous places to avoid consuming something that would harm or disable him.

Yet Phil had looked at him with such hopefulness and compassion and Dan had gone against his instincts and swallowed both pills with a gulp of water. He was aware he might pay for his carelessness in the future but he wanted to relief the pills would bring so badly that he didn’t care. And Phil looked so innocent and as if it didn’t even cross his mind to give Dan something bad.

He got to his feet and followed as Phil lead way to the garden, walking side by side with the prince who still wouldn’t allow him to fall behind.

Walking into the garden was just what Dan needed. Phil’s entire face lit up as he began talking about the different flowers and plants and how he’d nursed some of them from tiny sprouts to their full glory. Phil seemed softer and even gentler when he was walking around the garden where there was colour at every turn.

Dan didn’t say much because he was still queasy but Phil talked happily and enthusiastically and Dan prompted Phil to elaborate when he moved too quickly past something Dan found interesting.

Phil clearly loved plants with all of his heart and Dan wasn’t surprised that it was something that came natural to the prince. He seemed like the type to nurture any little sprout, look after it and protect it until it stood in full bloom and radiated strength and beauty.

Dan wondered if Phil thought Dan was a project like his plants.

A neglected and broken mess that had withered.

Phil might have green fingers but it was different with people. Dan wasn’t sure he could be brought back from the brink of drying out or maybe he had already withered beyond recognition and hope.

However, he could feel Phil’s good intentions and how he cautiously watched Dan looking for any sign that he was feeling unwell and they had to head back. They stayed in the garden for almost an hour before they had to get back to Phil’s chambers because he needed to change before his lunch and housemaids would be stopping by momentarily to take Dan’s measurements.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dan finally got out of his shackles! I'm so happy for him, honestly, even if it was a traumatic experience. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter? I know it's still building slowly but it's just for a couple of chapters more and then it'll start to pick up pace time-wise. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday 23rd of September. 
> 
> Also I wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who've read this so far. It's surpassed 1,000 hits already and it's the fastest one of my stories on here or Wattpad has ever done it. Thank you so much for all the lovely comments on every chapter and for every kudos. It means so much that you enjoy my story.


	8. Exploring the Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan didn't want to gossip with the maids about Phil and he wasn't quite sure how he was capable of feeling protective towards Phil. Phil had been avoiding the inevitable talk about Dan with Daisy, his best friend, but he was intending to fix that.

Phil didn’t feel too good about leaving Dan on his own because the boy still looked worse for wear after their visit to the forge. He’d perked up noticeably in the garden though and Phil had been astonished that Dan actually asked curious and intelligent questions to Phil’s rambling. He seemed to genuinely want to know about Phil’s extensive plant knowledge.

No one in the castle really understood his fascination with plants and flowers. Daisy tried but she just couldn’t seem to understand why Phil was _that_ excited. Phil didn’t blame her, as she never once made an off-hand negative remark of it as most other people had, only sometimes by accident.

Phil purposely lingered longer than he actually had time for. He was sure the carriage was waiting outside but he only got up to leave when Daisy stopped by to walk Dan to the maids’ chambers to have his measurements taken.

“Take care of him?” Phil asked in a hushed voice. He’d yet to have an actual conversation with Daisy about this whole thing as Dan had been with them all the time. He could see that his best friend was bursting at the seams but she held her tongue. It would be rude to discuss this in front of Dan and they’d both been raised with manners.

“Of course, I will. But I’m just dropping him off. The maids will be nice to him, I promise,” Daisy said in an equally low-pitched voice and reached out to give Phil’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Okay,” Phil breathed out.

“Now, get moving, lazy bum. They are waiting for you and it’s just a matter of minutes before a guard shows up to find you,” Daisy ushered him along.

Phil nodded and shot one final look back at Dan, who was standing incredibly still by the window, before heading out the door.

~*~

Dan felt Phil’s lingering gaze on him until the door shut. He was feeling much better now and he didn’t doubt that it had been the work of the painkillers. It would appear that they hadn’t been some type of knockout drug after all.

“Ready to get going, Dan? My maid friends have a rather tight schedule,” Daisy called out and Dan’s head snapped up.

“Yes, sorry,” he muttered and made his way to her.

Out in the hallway, walking side by side, she spoke up again. Dan was quickly learning that Daisy wasn’t exactly subtle.

“I see he got the shackles off you,” she commented and Dan consciously went to rub his wrists. “I also heard from a little birdy say that he left you alone, outside the castle walls unshackled for like five minutes.”

Dan’s jaw clenched. “Yeah.”

“He must really trust you, huh?” Daisy continued, her tone still casual as if they were talking about the weather and not the fact that Dan was practically enslaved to Phil.

Dan didn’t answer. He couldn’t fathom that Phil could trust him already. It seemed impossible. It was more likely that he’d just forgotten about the power dynamic between them. Phil didn’t seem like he knew a lot about personal servants.

“Don’t abuse that trust, Dan,” Daisy said and her voice turned both softer and more serious. “He’s a good guy but he instinctively assumes everyone is as good and pure as himself and it takes a lot to shake that belief. Don’t shatter him.”

Dan gave a crude nod as Daisy stopped in front of a door.

“I told the maids not to gossip but I can’t guarantee that they’ll keep their word. You and Phil’s situation is that talk of the castle and they’ll undoubtedly try to weasel some information out of you. Don’t speak out of term, for both yours and Phil’s sakes.”

With that Daisy swiftly knocked on the door and then turned on her heel, leaving Dan alone when the door opened and two young girls in maid uniforms smiled at him.

He took a deep breath.

~*~

Phil was the only one from the royal family sent to the opening of the local Inn. The king usually would send Phil or his brother out to smaller events where they royals had been invited. Phil didn’t necessarily mind but it was always boring just standing around alongside the wall, smiling the whole time and not even being able to make small talk with the guards that accompanied him.

There were samples of the food and alcohol and Phil only nibbled on both. As always, some people tried to walk up to him and make conversation and he indulged only briefly. It was fine because a few words were all that was expected of him.

He was royalty and he had this rumour of being mysterious and withheld. Phil wasn’t sure exactly how they’d interpreted awkwardness as mystery or dislike from answering personal and invasive questions as withholding.

Phil was just baiting his time, waiting until it would be acceptable for him to leave, when a young lady strolled up to him. She was gorgeous and her smile was infectious. Phil did find women beautiful but what he didn’t like was the idea of having to marry a princess that he’d never met or formed a bond with before being linked to her for the rest of his life. And then there was the nagging thought that he found boys beautiful too.

“Prince Philip,” she greeted and curtseyed with rehearsed practice.

“Miss,” Phil acknowledged and did a light tilt of his head.

“I think it’s wonderful that you take time out of your busy schedule to come see the opening of a local Inn,” she praised him and it sounded almost like she was making her voice purr.

When Phil realised that she was probably flirting, he could feel himself getting flustered. He never really knew why ladies would do this. He would have to marry that some princess, whether he liked it or not, and Phil wondered if girls didn’t realise that it was highly unlikely that they could flirt their way into a royal’s heart. Besides, even if Phil fell in love with someone else, it would be pointless if they weren’t a princess from a respectable kingdom, as any other choice wouldn’t be acceptable.

“The royal family deems it very important to be visible and support local businesses, especially something as grand as this one. It’s my pleasure to be here on behalf of my family,” Phil replied, voice almost monotone. He’d said that or variations of it so many times.

The girl stayed with him a few more minutes, increasing the eyelash batting, but Phil remained polite and stoic. Eventually, she seemed to give up her efforts with a concealed pout. Phil almost wanted to apologise but just being pretty and telling him the things she thought he wanted to hear, wouldn’t make him fall madly in love with her.

“We’re going home,” Phil said with finality to his guards. “I’ll just bid farewell to the owner and then we’re going back to the castle.”

He’d been here long enough and he wanted to get back to the castle and check up on Dan. He hoped the maids hadn’t been too much to handle.

~*~

The maids seemed nice enough and their touches were feathery light. Still, the contact did make Dan flinch, even if he tried his best to conceal it.

They remained fairly quiet for a long time while taking his measurements but Dan could tell that they had questions at the tip of their tongues. He had hoped that they’d keep them to themselves and keep their promise to Daisy but he wasn’t so lucky.

“So…” one of them began and Dan’s stomach dropped. “What is Prince Philip like behind closed doors?”

Dan simply frowned and wondered how they could ask him such a question.

“You know,” the other chimed in, “he hardly ever lets anyone into his chambers, other than Daisy. And he’s always sneaking around in the garden sniffing the flowers.”

Dan didn’t like her tone one bit and briefly wondered if they knew how inappropriate it was to spy on their superior and a prince of the kingdom. Dan’s thoughts surprised himself a bit because since when did he feel protectiveness towards Phil? A man he’d just met and a man that had agreed to take him on as a personal servant.

“I wouldn’t know,” Dan said after he cleared his throat.

The fact was that Dan did actually know. Phil had been completely open and seemingly frank with him in all their interactions so far. It was unusual behaviour to be that honest with a personal servant though, so Dan didn’t have any trouble disguising the truth from the maids’ prying questions.

“Surely, you must have noticed something. Frankly, I’m still surprised he let anyone get that close to him,” one of the maids continued, seemingly ignorant of Dan’s unease.

“I guess you can never know who someone truly is. He always seemed so kind. I didn’t think he’d take on a…” the other maid started to say but then her voice faltered and she shot Dan a sympathetic smile.

Dan balled his hands into fists but remained silent. He didn’t need pity from them but thankfully, they dropped the conversation topic after that as they realised Dan probably wouldn’t answer them.

“There you go. All done. We’ll have your new clothes ready by tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Dan said and stepped down.

“Daisy took the liberty of picking out some of the material and styles. I assume you don’t mind?”

“No that’s fine. Can I leave now?”

“Sure, I assume you don’t need an escort if you’re out of shackles and all. Can you find your way back to where you need to go?” one of the maids asked.

Dan wasn’t sure but he nodded anyway and left without further ado. He steadied his breath when he got outside and then tried to retrace the steps he’d walked with Daisy. It was still so foreign that he had this much leeway.

He didn’t really feel like a personal servant at the moment, which was frightening and unsettling for some reason. He’d learnt to adapt to that life but this seemed to be a whole new game. One that Dan didn’t know how to play.

~*~

When Phil made it back, he fought his instincts to check up on Dan and instead went down to find Daisy. It was a fairly quiet time in the kitchen and with a bright smile Phil convinced the head chef to let him borrow Daisy for a little while.

It wasn’t uncommon for the two of them to sneak off. For a long time, there had been rumours that the two of them had been dating and some still thought this to be true. Phil hadn’t really cared but Daisy did and she had made him make a statement to the kitchen staff. Phil had been thoroughly embarrassed through the whole ordeal but he was happy to do it for his friend.

He’d known her since they were young kids and he would never see her as anything other than his best friend.

They made their way to the library, which was usually empty and one of Phil’s favourite spots in the castle. He couldn’t wait to show Dan all the wonderful books but for now, talking to his friend was first priority.

Once they’d sat down at one of the tables, Phil didn’t even get to open his mouth before Daisy punched him hard on the shoulder. Phil winched and rubbed the place of impact and raised an eyebrow questioningly at her.

Assaulting a royal would normally get her arrested or at the very least fired but Phil would never tell anyone. He liked that Daisy, as one of the only people in his life, didn’t treat him with kid gloves.

“That’s for taking on a personal servant, Phil. Christ, what on Earth were you thinking, my friend? Dan seems… well, honestly he seems scared and broken and you just… You took him on as a personal servant! I know you don’t mingle or approve of gossip but you must be aware what that implies. What people will think that you’re doing to Dan?”

“I know!” Phil interjected because he didn’t need to have the obvious listed from his best friend. “I’ve already talked to both my Mum and Willard…”

“Oh, so now I’ve moved down on the rank of people you tell important shit to too?”

Daisy sounded angry and her anger served to deflate Phil and make him sink into his seat.

“I wanted to talk to you first, Daisy. But my mother summoned me to her chambers last night and today at the forge Willard pulled me aside. I didn’t plan to discuss it with either of them. I just didn’t know what to do, Daisy,” Phil dropped his voice and continued in what was barely louder than a whisper. “If I deny an order from the king, he can deem me unfit and remove me from the succession of the throne. I don’t even want the throne, obviously, but I can’t just drop it like that. If my Dad, Martyn or I don’t take it then the king will have free realm to hand it off to practically any long lost relative. We can’t let that happen.”

Daisy’s hand came to rest on his back as he spoke and Phil leaned into the touch.

“But why would he make you take a personal servant?” she questioned.

“To humiliate me, I guess. I wouldn’t doubt he knew my stance on the whole thing or at least suspected it. By making me accept to take someone on, then I’m just like every other royal scumbag.”

“Phil…” Daisy said and her voice sounded almost scared. “Then he might very well be keeping an eye on you and Dan. To see if you’re not acting like what’s expected. The two of you will have to be careful or maybe pretend…”

“No,” Phil interrupted. “I won’t pretend to be horrible to Dan nor will I give him marks of any kind. He’s a human being and I will not let that notion slip.”

“I didn’t mean like that, Phil,” Daisy reassured him and her eyes softened. “I just meant you have to be careful not to flaunt how obviously you _don’t_ exercise your control over Dan. So far you’ve removed his shackles, left him unguarded outside and this afternoon he was walking around the castle all by himself.”

“What?”

“The maids just sent him on his way. Even they assumed that the lack of shackles meant that he didn’t need an escort. I’m not saying put him back in shackles but maybe just be careful. I know you’d never force or manipulate Dan because you’re the best person I know but for your own sake and for his, you need to be careful.”

Phil mulled over her words and he took them to heart. He should have come to talk to Daisy earlier. She was completely right. He didn’t care about keeping up appearances but maybe he should. Treating Dan like an equal came natural to Phil but if his uncle was indeed watching him…

“I don’t think I can do it, Daisy. I can’t make Dan walk behind me with his head down. I can’t make him behave like property rather than a person. I just won’t be able to do it.”

Daisy smiled at him fondly but there was the edge of worry around her eyes.

“I figured you might say that. It was just a suggestion, Phil. You’re lucky that there isn’t any outright rules, other than you’re in charge of him. So you decide that the boundaries.”

“I know you’re trying to look out for me, Daisy, and I appreciate it. Thank you for always understanding. And thanks for not thinking the obvious when you heard about Dan,” Phil tacked on the last bit rather nervously.

Daisy burst out laughing as if he just said the most ridiculous thing.

“I would never think that of you, Phil. I would literally be the worst judge of character in the entire world if I misjudged my best friend that badly. You don’t have a mean bone in you, Phil.”

~*~

Dan had eventually found his way back to Phil’s chambers after a lot of mistakes. He couldn’t bring himself to ask any of the guards or staff he passed for directions. And maybe he had used getting lost to explore a bit of the castle as well.

His old habits kicked in and his eyes automatically searched for escape routes. There wasn’t really any. Unless Phil took him outside of the castle walls again, then any escape attempt would be futile. Even the beautiful garden was within the castle walls, so it was unlikely that Phil would take him outside again.

The castle had everything you could need, so Dan might never be let outside again. Strangely, Dan briefly debated if Phil would just let him go if he asked him. It seemed like the perfect way to get slapped or punched but Phil had so far not shown any signs of aggression whatsoever.

But even if by some miracle Phil did agree, where would Dan go? He didn’t have a penny to his name, which was what landed him in this mess in the first place. He couldn’t go to his family because that was the first place where they’d look. Furthermore, he would have to figure out a way to get around the GPS chip too. He was truly trapped.

On the long way back to Phil’s chambers, Dan had passed the library and he could have sworn that he saw the outline of a piano in the far corner. He hadn’t dared to step any closer but his heart had started rising anyway.

It was such a long time since he’d played and he didn’t realise how much he yearned for it until he saw it. He pushed down the desire to go inside and run his fingers along the keys. Even if it was a piano, then it would undoubtedly cost a fortune and there was no way he’d be allowed to go near it with his rough hands.

Telling himself that his eyes had deceived him, he moved on and shortly after found the door to Phil’s room and let himself in. He took his usual place by the window and wondered how long it would be before Phil came back.

Dan lost track of time but it wasn’t too long before the door handle jiggled and Phil moved inside. Dan looked up and Phil smiled at him, brightly as ever.

“Hi Dan,” Phil said, as if greeting an old friend and not a personal servant. “I heard from Daisy that you got lost on the way back from the maids’ chamber.”

Dan’s whole body tensed. Had he not been allowed to walk back on his own? He shouldn’t have agreed that he was allowed to do that.

“Relax,” Phil said and raised his hands in a pacifying gesture when he noticed Dan’s stiff stance. “I’m just sorry you got lost. I’ll have to give you a proper tour of the halls some time, so you can know your way around.”

~*~

Phil shouldn’t be talking about having Dan learn the inner semantic of the castle because Dan running around on his own would probably send the wrong impression. However, Phil couldn’t bring himself to change his words.

“Did you still want to go see the library before dinner or are you too tired?” Phil asked and lingered by the door. He yearned to show Dan his favourite room in the castle. He secretly hoped that Dan might be just as approving of the reading as he was the gardening.

“No, I’d love that,” Dan said and turned on his heels.

“How did the fitting go?” Phil asked Dan while he held open the door. He was a bit taken aback with Dan’s enthusiasm but he decided that he much preferred it to the sulking and quiet Dan.

“Okay,” Dan said and the way he chewed on his bottom lip made Phil wonder if Dan wasn’t telling the whole story. Phil wanted to stop and ask Dan if he was sure but would that be seen as an order? He tried a different approach.

“The maids are friends of Daisy’s but I assume they are just as gossipy as the rest of the castle. They didn’t make you uncomfortable, right?”

Phil’s eyes might deceive him because he could have sworn that there was a tug upwards in Dan’s lips, however brief.

“They asked a few questions. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them anything.”

This startled Phil. Not the maids asking questions, that had been almost expected but more so the protective twinge in Dan’s last words.

“You don’t need to protect me, Dan. I know how the staff likes to gossip about me and my family and well… me in particular because they don’t understand all my quirks and weird habits. Heck, you’ve probably seen my odd behaviour up close constantly over the last day. I couldn’t blame you for gossiping with your newfound knowledge.”

Phil said that he couldn’t blame him for it but the truth was that he might internally anyway. He was a very private person and he’d been surprisingly open with Dan but he didn’t exactly want everybody in the whole castle to know all the things he’d told Dan. Frankly, he’d spoken out of turn with Dan numerous times, especially when confessing his dislike for the king and some of his laws.

But objectively, he didn’t feel like he was allowed to blame Dan if he gossiped.

~*~

Dan looked sideways as Phil as they walked. He was surprised at Phil’s words but it hadn’t felt right to gossip about Phil or all the little things that Dan had noticed while being constantly around him for a whole day.

Phil acted like he trusted Dan already and even if Dan couldn’t understand it; he still wanted to respect it.

They made their way back to the library and Dan’s heart felt like it skipped a beat. He could hardly focus on Phil, who was talking and gesturing to one of the many walls of books. Once inside, Dan got a better view of the room. It was absolutely humongous.

Every wall was decked out with books and there were multiple ten feet bookcases around the middle of the room too. Dan found himself moving towards one corner in particular and he sucked in a breath when he realised that he’d been right about spotting a piano in the corner.

He gravitated towards the piano like a moth to a light. Dan didn’t like moths and the internal comparison made him cringe but the light being a piano seemed to fit perfectly. Playing on the old piano down at the pub had been his escape, the only time he’d ever felt bright in his entire life.

The piano was large and white and absolutely glorious. He didn’t feel worthy to lay his eyes upon it. He’d dreamt of playing on a piano like this when he was younger. He’d wanted to go to music school and become a pianist but that dream had crumbled away when his father fell into debt. He thought he’d gotten the dream back when that scholarship had been within reach but that had been stripped from him as well.

Dan strolled towards the grand piano, completely forgetting about Phil. It was like he wasn’t in control of his body. His fingers were reaching out for the cover over the keys, edging to lift it up to reveal the ebony and ivory keys he knew hid below.

It was only when his fingers made contact with the side of the piano, he realised he’d moved across the huge room as in a trance. He pulled his fingers away as if the piano had almost burnt him and he looked back to find Phil watching him intensely.

Dan hadn’t seen that kind of gaze in Phil before and he was having a hard time decoding it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter? I couldn't help but incorporate Dan's piano playing as a part of this story (and it'll feature more later on, so get excited for that). I just adore Phil and Daisy's relationship so much - there's no drama, no fuss, just concern and care for each other as well as utmost trust. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, Saturday 30th of September.


	9. Let Yourself Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan wasn't sure how Phil would react to being ignored over a piano but as had become the norm, the prince didn't act at all like Dan expected him to. Perhaps, there was actual hope for them yet.

Phil was enthusiastic about telling Dan all about his favourite books and he’d hardly made it inside of library before he started talking. It took him a moment before he realised that Dan wasn’t paying attention.

Instead of being offended or calling for his attention, Phil just watched as Dan moved across the room with a confidence in his stride that Phil hadn’t seen before. Usually, Dan seemed to slouch his shoulders, try to hang back and make himself small. Now his whole body perked up and he utilised his long legs to move him across the large library.

Phil watched with interest as Dan made his way determinedly to the grand piano in the corner. It was a beautiful instrument and Phil had tried to learn how to play it but he had no ear for music whatsoever. He wasn’t able to read notes or anything and instead dove into books and plants but he still loves music very much.

At parties and such, they’d usually hire a pianist to play and roll the piano to the Grand Hall. Phil’s grandmother used to be able to play it brilliantly and it was a gift to her from her husband. It was mostly because of her memory that Phil had wanted to learn.

Dan seemed absolutely transfixed with the instrument and he only paused his swift pace when he reached the piano. Then his movements turned slow and unsure and he moved his fingers closer so carefully that Phil was unsure if they were really moving or just hovering.

Phil was fascinated but then Dan suddenly pulled back his hand with a start and he looked around the room with a confused expression. Dan’s eyes found Phil and Phil felt like he could decode everything about him in that very moment.

Dan clearly had some history with pianos and he moved across the room without thinking and it was only then that he realised that he’d abandoned Phil’s side. Dan hung his head and made his way over to Phil before Phil got a chance to say anything.

“Sorry, Prince Philip,” Dan said, eyes transfixed on the floor but then they lifted gradually, unsure, to meet Phil’s eyes again. Phil couldn’t help but smile at the effort Dan put into meeting his eyes and he ignored that Dan used his title yet again.

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said, his voice warm and comforting. “It’s a beautiful instrument.”

Phil walked over to the piano and Dan followed behind hesitantly but he stopped just outside of touching distance, Phil noted with a frown.

“It was my grandmother’s piano,” Phil told Dan and let his fingers run along it before he moved to find the edge and lift the cover up to reveal the keys. “It was a wedding present from her husband, the crown prince at the time. I lost my grandmother at quite a young age but I do have distinct memories of sitting in her lap while she played the most beautiful music I can remember.”

~*~

Dan had expected Phil to snap at him but he hadn’t, yet again. Phil had just smiled with what appeared to be actual understanding and now he was telling Dan something that seemed to be a very personal story. Dan kept a distance from the gorgeous piano in fear of being unable to keep his hands to himself but he listened acutely as Phil went on about his family.

“She’s the only one who was really musically inclined in our family. She’d tried to teach her son, my dad, when he was younger but I think he’s tone deaf. She tried teaching me a little bit but I was so young and an absolute hopeless case. And then after she died…”

Phil’s voice trailed off and Dan’s heart actually ached. Why was Phil telling him about the death of his grandparent? Why did he think that Dan should be allowed this information? The royal family was known for being fairly private and here Phil was speaking to Dan without reservation.

It didn’t make any sense, unless it was because Phil saw Dan as nothing more than the equivalent of a piece of furniture and mostly speaking out loud to himself. But Phil kept glancing up the gauge Dan’s reaction, so that didn’t seem like a plausible explanation.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Dan found himself saying and his voice came out softer than he’d expected. He blamed it on being in a library and having learnt to be quiet in places like this.

“Nah, it’s okay, Dan. It’s good to talk about the people we’ve lost. I loved both of my grandparents very much and talking about them keeps their spirit alive, so to speak. A little secret?” Phil asked with a smirk playing on his lips and Dan nodded. “She was just a much of a ruler as my grandfather. Technically, the queen doesn’t hold any actual power but every important decision was one they made together. They were a pair of rulers, not just a king and his wife.”

Dan’s chest felt constricted and he was holding his breath.

“Did you ever play?” Phil asked and Dan felt like something crumbled inside of him.

He used to run down to the pub straight after school every single day just to get to play. The owner had been a friend of his parents and when the man saw how much Dan loved to play, he’d let him come and entertain his guest during the afternoon. Dan got pretty good over the years, even if the piano had been old and in need to tuning. He’d learnt how to do that too because he felt it only fair he looked after the instrument that brought him so much joy and an escape.

“Once upon a time,” Dan replied.

He hadn’t been near a piano for the last three years. He’d almost forgotten that he used to play after the life he’d been thrust into. It was only in the quiet moments when he needed to disappear into his own head that he’d think of the music engulfing him. It had worked as a coping mechanism for a while but it eventually lost its effect.

He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch the exposed keys, which seems to shine before his eyes. This piano was clearly well looked after and the complete opposite of the one he’d spent so many years playing.

“Do you want to have a go?” Phil asked, nonchalantly and Dan’s jaw fell slightly open.

Phil couldn’t be serious, could he? Would he be so cruel as to dangle this in front of Dan’s face for him not to have it? Dan was a realist and he knew it wasn’t likely he was allowed in here at all and surely not around such an expensive piano. However, Phil didn’t strike Dan as a cruel man, quite the opposite in fact.

~*~

Phil watched as Dan mulled over his question. Dan clearly wanted nothing more to reach out and touch the keys but the boy kept himself in almost perfect check. If it was not for the longing in Dan’s eyes, perhaps he could have fooled Phil.

Phil knew what longing looked like though and Dan desperately wanted to interact with the instrument in front of them. A bit of Phil was wary. This was his grandmother’s piano and the only people who were allowed to play it were the royal family or occasionally one of the best pianists in the land when they had a ball.

But it also felt like a shame for the beautiful instrument just to collect dust and the way Dan had moved towards it before told Phil that the boy would be very gentle and respectful. Phil also just wanted to bring that look of joy back in Dan’s otherwise stone face.

“Do you mean that?” Dan asked in a very quiet voice and he looked at Phil with so much uncertainty that Phil worried his heart would snap in two.

“I do,” Phil confirmed. “You look like you’re edging to play. How long has it been?”

Dan visibly gulped and Phil instantly regretted his question because the answer was obvious. Dan hadn’t exactly been in a position to play the piano for quite a while.

“Never mind, don’t answer that. I’m an idiot,” Phil rushed to say.

Dan shook his head gently. “You’re not an idiot, Phil. It’s been a while. I’m not sure even I know how to play anymore.”

“Bullocks. My grandmother said it was like riding a bike. You never forget once you’ve learnt it. It gets integrated into your muscle memory. My grandmother once had to go on a trip across the lands for months and you know what the first thing she did when she came back was?”

“What?” Dan asked and something akin to fondness showed in his expression.

“She played at the welcome home ball absolutely flawlessly.”

“I would have liked to have met her,” Dan said and then looked like he regretted opening his mouth.

“It’s fine, Dan,” Phil reassured him before the brunet panicked again. “She was an amazing woman. But you know… the best way to get to know her would be to play on her piano. Take a seat. I’d love to hear you play. It’s been so long since I’ve heard anyone play and I’m a hopeless case myself.”

~*~

Phil was adorable and Dan couldn’t resist when Phil pulled back the bench slightly. Dan sat down and found that he instinctively straightened his back like he’d learnt. He’d never taken any lessons but he’d been by the pub numerous times in the evening to study how adult pianists played.

Swallowing down his nerves, he placed his fingers on the cool keys and played the first song that came to mind. He’d always had an amazing ear for music and he could distinguish the keys to a song just by listening. His fingers automatically played the first song he’d ever learnt and one that he’d played continuously over the years.

It was from a musical that he’d seen at age 11 and become absolutely engulfed with. The piano piece was astounding in the show and it was shortly after he’d started to sneak off to the pub to practice on the piano.

He lost sense of what was around him and just felt his fingers move across the keys. Phil’s grandmother had been right, even after three years, his fingers knew exactly how to play this song like he’d done hundred of times before.

It felt like coming home and Dan didn’t doubt that he was grinning like an idiot. He didn’t care. He had been through so much and he was owed this moment of peace. Phil would grant him that and then maybe the shoe would still drop some time in the future and Phil’s bubbling, happy and compassionate appearance would melt away. Dan didn’t care at the moment because he would forever be grateful for this moment of bliss.

The piano was exquisite and the sounds it produced seemed otherworldly. Dan knew his playing had never sounded like this on the beat-up piano from the pub. He could hear every single shade and twinge of the notes and it made the song truly sound like it had when he first heard it in that musical.

The moment was absolutely perfect and Dan wished the song would never end.

~*~

When Dan started playing, he transformed into someone else. He held himself proudly and his fingers skated over the keys with incredibly speed and precision. He wasn’t the beaten-down boy who only spoke when asked or didn’t dare to lift his eyes from the floor.

The song Dan was playing seemed vaguely familiar and something Phil had heard years and years ago. He couldn’t quite place it but he knew Dan’s playing was forming as a permanent memory in his brain.

Dan looked beautiful like that, completely absorbed and focused on the music. He seemed at ease with himself and like all the horrible traumas melted away, even if just for moment. He seemed more like a boy his age instead of someone forced to grow up all too fast.

Phil’s eyes actually started to tear up towards the end.

Dan’s playing reminded Phil of his grandmother. He could recognise the practiced posture and the content smile playing his lips. His grandmother always seemed transported to somewhere else in her mind when she was playing.

Like there was a realm where only her and her piano existed. Dan had the same faraway glance in his eyes.

When the song finally finished, Dan seemed to linger with his fingers on the last keys and only reluctantly let go. Phil wiped away the wetness around his eyes and he couldn’t help himself and started clapping joyously and loudly, which seemed to startle Dan, but only for a moment before the shocked expression was being replaced by a sheepish smile.

~*~

“I guess I did remember,” Dan said and looked up at Phil who was still clapping very loudly. It was probably a good thing that there wasn’t a librarian in here or they’d have been told off for making too much noise.

“You were incredible! I mean how can your fingers even move like that? It’s just… wow, I don’t even know what to say, Dan. That was beautiful.”

Dan never did too well with being praised and raised his shoulders in tension.

“It was just a simple musical song, Phil,” Dan argued but he was still smiling for the experience.

He now had to resign himself to saying goodbye to the piano. He’d been granted a five-minute escape but he surely would have to move on now. He didn’t regret doing it, even the thought of going years without playing again made his heart constrict.

He moved to slide off the bench but a hand gently landed on his shoulder. Despite the light touch, Dan flinched and ducked away from the contact and landed on his bum next to the bench.

“Shit, sorry!” Phil said and clamped his hands over his mouth and looked horrified with himself.

Dan wanted to tell Phil not to worry because he knew the touch had hardly been more than a graze but his heart was pounding in his chest and alarm bells was going off in his head. This would be it.

Phil would put his hands on him and Dan would have to endure it. His logical mind reminded him that Phil had promised not to and the touch had seemed light and friendly rather than rough and overpowering. Still, Dan couldn’t stop shaking and his body was telling him to get prepared for the worst.

“I’m so, so sorry, Dan,” Phil said. “I didn’t mean to, it just came naturally. I should be more careful. I can’t believe I did that. I know how you are and here I go being completely insensitive. I just wanted to let you know that you were welcome to play another and you didn’t need to scramble off. I just meant…”

“Wait,” Dan interrupted Phil’s ramble and Phil quieted down immediately.

“Could I play another?” Dan asked, not daring to believe the words.

Phil wouldn’t make him move on?

“Of course! You seemed so sad when you let go of the keys and I just wanted to let you know that you could play another. Or two or three or how many you desire. You’re extremely good at it and I could see how much more… how it made you seem more at peace. You don’t have to stop right now if you don’t want to.”

Dan had to shake his head as well as press a hand down on his chest where his heart was slowly starting to beat at its regular rhythm.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes, Dan. If I ever tell you something, I mean it. I also meant it when I said I would ever under any circumstances force myself on you. I didn’t mean to touch your shoulder and I’m deeply apologetic about it. I want to promise that I won’t do it again but I’m just a very physically affectionate person… no that sounds wrong… I just mean I hug and touch my friends and family quite easily.”

Dan was eying Phil a bit suspiciously. It made sense, he guessed. He’d flinched at the mention of affection because a lot of people called it that when they’d made Dan do things that he didn’t consider affectionate at all. But then another part of Phil’s ramble registered.

“Your friends? Do you consider us friends, Phil?” Dan asked confused because it couldn’t be that after merely a day Phil could already see him as a friend. Other than the fact that Dan was supposed to be Phil’s personal servant, Phil was also a prince and Dan was a commoner. But then Phil was friends with Daisy…

~*~

“I… I mean…” Phi was stumbling over his words to try and explain it to Dan. How could he tell the brunet boy that yes, on some subconscious level his mind had decided Dan was a friend already. Phil always wanted to help everyone but Dan had gotten under his skin almost instantly.

They had spent nearly all their time together over the last day and with every passing interaction, Phil learnt more about Dan and how he thought and worked. Phil could see himself becoming very good friends with Dan, despite their circumstances being less than ideal.

“I don’t know, Dan. Maybe sort of? Not consciously but you just… You seem like you could need someone in your corner and you’re easy to talk to, you’re not judgemental and you actually seem to listen to me and care about what I have to say. Unless… is that something you do because of, you know,” Phil gestured between them, “this? Because I’m… you know.”

It hadn’t occurred to Phil before that moment and his heart sank at the notion but Dan shook his head immediately.

~*~

“No, it’s not. I… I don’t know how to act around you because I don’t know what you expect of me or how you might misuse this power you have over me. I know you say that you won’t and I want to trust that but my experiences tell me that I can’t,” Dan confessed. “But I do enjoy listening to you and I appreciate all that you’re doing for me, especially allowing me to play your grandmother’s piano.”

Dan got up from the ground as he spoke and then placed his hand carefully on top of the piano. He tried to see things from Phil’s perspective, even if it was difficult after living on the other end of arrangements for three years. None of the people before had ever acted like Phil and if the prince was being truthful, then it must be a horrible situation to be forced to accept someone like Dan.

“I’m glad,” Phil said and smiled brightly again. Dan preferred when Phil smiled like that instead of looking horrified and beating himself up. “I meant what I said, Dan. You’re welcome to play another song today or tomorrow. The library is pretty much secluded at all times. It’s only really me who goes in here to read a book or hide from my responsibilities. The piano is yours to use as long as you’re gentle with it but I doubt that will be a problem with the way you look at it in awe.”

There was humour in Phil’s voice and it all became too much for Dan. He didn’t even think before he threw his head back in a laugh because Phil had clearly seen how Dan had danced around the piano and even made sure to press down on the keys with consideration.

~*~

Dan’s laugh was one of the most beautiful sounds Phil had ever heard. It even topped his amazing piano playing and that was something. Dan threw his head backward and his laugh was loud and full of life and Phil’s heart soared.

There was the boy Phil hoped was underneath the cold and broken stare. The boy who watched him with interested and truly listened to learn what Phil had to say. The boy who got so absorbed into piano playing that nothing else existed around him. The boy who let his defence down enough to properly, loudly and proudly laugh. He was still in there.

From that moment, things begun to shift between them but it was such a gradual change that they hardly noticed. Dan was still on edge most of the time but with every interaction where Phil treated him as a friend, some of that amour broke away.

Phil tried to make it so that they alternated between sleeping on the sofa and the bed, but Dan had insisted that he should be on the sofa permanently. Phil had only agreed after the first night he’d slept in his bed and Dan’s scent had lingered all around him. Dan smelled like everything Phil would never be able to have and Phil took the easy way out of that misery. He had meant it when he said he’d never do anything to Dan without his consent and developing a crush on the skittish and abused boy living in his chambers seemed like the worst idea ever.

They fell into a routine for the next couple of weeks. They’d mostly just hang out in the garden or spend time in the library with Dan playing and Phil reading a book. If Phil had prince duties, Dan would go down to the kitchen and ask Daisy if she needed a hand with anything.

Phil had refused to give Dan any assignments but he’d suggested asking Daisy, which seemed to work out well for all parties involved. There were still rumours around the castle but after a few weeks the novelty of the whole thing wore off considerably.

Dan had gotten his new clothes, which made him look like most of the staff rather than a personal servant and he moved around the castle as he pleased. Phil had no qualms about it but did warn Dan about not attracting attention.

It wouldn’t be good if the king figured out just how little – nothing in fact – Phil required of Dan.

They always had breakfast together in Phil’s chambers but Dan went down to pick it up and took the dishes down afterwards, ignoring Phil’s protests that he didn’t have to do that. Dan told Phil that this was literally nothing and Phil let it slide.

They talked a lot and ever so slowly Dan started to open up to Phil more. Phil had been open and frank from day one but he revelled in every little bit of Dan’s history he got to learn. The more he knew about the boy, the more he admired and cared for Dan. He’d been through so much and though he didn’t talk much about it in direct terms, many small stories painted a full picture.

Dan had had a radically different life from Phil and sometimes the differences stomped Phil. However, Dan was quick with reassurance and together they worked out a dynamic. Dan smiled a lot more and some days Phil made it his mission to see how many times he could make Dan smile or even laugh.

It felt like bliss for a while. Of course, Phil should have known that something would happen to change that. It was almost convenient to forget about Dan’s past traumas when everything was going so well but that didn’t erase them or the fact that something could trigger him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're finally picking up in speed of the actual time. By the start of next chapter, it had been a couple of weeks since they met and as you can tell by the ending of this chapter, their initial weeks of safety is about to be disrupted. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. The next one will be up in a week, on the 7th of October 2017.


	10. The Bubble Bursts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan had begun to feel safe around Phil and while walking around the castle. When Phil was so kind and continued to treat him like an equal, it was difficult to remember that people were allowed to exert their power over him. Forgetting to be cautious could have terrible consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: intention of rape

Dan wasn’t quite sure how nearly three weeks passed without him properly noticing. Of course, he was aware that he’d been with Phil for more than a couple of days but three weeks? It seemed improbable.

The whole waiting for the other shoe to drop wasn’t at the forefront of Dan’s mind anymore. It’d only come by in very rare bursts. Phil let him sleep undisturbed on the sofa and Dan even had to convince Phil that he didn’t need them to switch around. He didn’t want to put Phil out of his bed. It was enough that he took up so much space in Phil’s chambers.

Phil hadn’t put his hands on Dan in any way or fashion since that second day in the library where a shoulder touch had caused Dan to fall down the bench. Phil always caught himself whenever he’s about to do it and Dan just saw the hover of Phil’s hand if he’s about to pat Dan’s arm or shoulder. Phil’s face always fell immediately after and he’d mutter a quiet apology while retreating his hand.

Sometimes, Dan wondered if it would be that bad to tell Phil that he didn’t mind the friendly pat on the back but whenever he thought about it, his whole body began to seize up and sound the alarm bells.

Not that Phil had given Dan any reason to doubt him; in fact the prince still went above and beyond to make Dan comfortable and refused to even give Dan any sort of assignments. Thankfully, Dan had come to an agreement with Daisy that he’d help her out with the odd jobs, so he wasn’t completely useless. He got bored when Phil was out doing princey things and it was nice to have something to occupy his time with.

One thing that Dan loved was the afternoons in the library with Phil and sometimes Daisy. The two of them would read or chat while Dan played the piano. He’d taught himself several new songs over these past weeks and relearnt some of the ones he’d learnt before he stopped playing.

Phil didn’t mind if Dan wandered off on his own. Though the prince did warn Dan to lay low and not attract attention. Dan had always been good at that and it came like a second nature to him. However, as the days turned into weeks, his guard began to drop without him really paying attention to it.

Sure, he was aware that he became more open with Phil and he’d fallen into old patterns where a sarcastic comment was an okay thing to do. In fact, Phil seemed to love Dan’s sarcasm. Dan did not notice how he got more careless with moving around the castle. Phil had taken him on the promised tour and Dan had done some snooping around on his own and the place started to feel familiar.

It started to feel safe.

Dan was actually starting to fully trust Phil’s words. Phil wouldn’t force Dan to do anything, not even normal service work without getting paid, which was why Dan got assignments from Daisy instead of Phil.

Dan liked it inside of his little bubble with him, Phil and Daisy. He’d chat with other staff members every so often and it was pleasant but he mostly hung out by himself or with the prince and the kitchen maid. It was easy to forget that much higher-ranking people roamed around the castle as well.

Dan hadn’t expected to run into a vaguely familiar man dressed in fancy robes.

He moved along rather the corridor with his eyes fairly downcast but he made the mistake of looking up to meet the man’s eye. It wasn’t something he’d have done a week ago but Daisy had gone on another reprimand ramble when Dan hadn’t met her eyes instantly. So he looked up and met the man’s eye to be polite.

He should not have done that.

“Hold up,” the man requested and Dan turned around, confused, because surely the man could not mean him but the way the man’s eyes scanned his body said otherwise.

Dan’s blood ran cold. It turned into ice in his veins and hurt accordingly. He knew where he’d seen that man before. He’d been one of the lords in the Grand Hall that day fateful day where Phil had come tumbling in from an unused backdoor.

He’d been the one eying Dan with too much interest.

“Yes?” Dan asked and his eyes went to the floor as a defence mechanism.

“I know you,” the lord said and moved closer.

Dan wanted to run out of there as fast as he could but he tried to convince himself that this would be okay. Technically, he was Phil’s and that granted him protection. Right. Surely no one would mess with something that belonged to the prince.

“You’re one of the personal servants from that showing. I’d recognise those pretty eyes anywhere. Didn’t Prince Philip pick you?”

Dan’s stomach lunged and he wanted to throw up. Compliments like that from men in power never led to any good scenarios for Dan.

“Yes, the prince did,” Dan said and hoped that his voice didn’t shake as much as he thought it might.

“I’ve heard talks of the two of you and of you roaming around freely without shackles. If he doesn’t know how to utilise a perfectly good personal servant, perhaps he shouldn’t even have one. Maybe you should be mine instead.”

Dan felt absolutely petrified.

~*~

Phil was wondering what took Dan so long. They’d been hanging out in the library, as they did most days, when Dan had excused himself to go use the toilet. He’d been gone for too long time and Phil was getting a bad feeling.

He didn’t worry about Dan plotting to off him or even running away, so what was he worried about?

He closed his book and got up and peaked out into the hallway. Empty. He was half-tempted to go to the nearest toilet to search for Dan but perhaps the boy was just suffering from a bad stomach and needed time to recover. It would be insanely awkward to have Phil knocking on the door if that was the case.

He made it a point to stroll by the toilets and then back to his room to see if Dan had gone there.

The intercom was sounding as he entered and he picked it up.

“Yes?”

“Phil?” Daisy called out and she sounded in distress.

“Daisy, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Phil worried but his thoughts didn’t drift to Daisy but rather to the missing Dan.

“Phil, I think you need to find Dan right now. One of my maid friends just came by to say that they saw Dan talking to one of the Lords staying in the guest bedrooms. The one who got grabby with one of the housemaids? I can’t be sure but with Dan’s history…”

For a brief moment, Phil wondered if this was what it felt like being punched in the face. He felt completely off balance as worry built in his chest.

“Thanks, Daisy…” Phil said all to quickly and hung up without saying goodbye and him forgetting his manners showed just how worried he was.

If someone had come by and seen Dan and known of his status… It was a problem in some circles… Some allowed you to share your personal servant for a price and if someone had just assumed…

Phil shuddered and ran a little faster towards all the guest bedrooms.

~*~

“Come with me, boy,” the lord told Dan, who stood frozen.

This couldn’t be happening. He hadn’t felt this scared or trapped in weeks and it was a reality check to have to thrown in his face what men thought they could do to him. He’d forgotten with all of Phil’s smiles and jokes that their situation was far from normal.

Phil treated him like an equal but because of the stupid law, he wasn’t equal and especially not to the lords and power abusers.

“Did you hear me, boy?” the lord’s voice was coated with annoyance.

“Prince Philip…” Dan tried to argue but the lord cut him off.

“It’s a common practice to lend out your personal servant amongst nobility. It’s part of the deal. I’ll make sure to compensate Prince Philip for use of you,” the lord actually winked at Dan, who couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

He had heard rumour of being lent out but never experienced it himself. Only a few of people he previously worked for did even consider using Dan for stuff other than free labour and even then it hadn’t been so twisted, other than that one bearded guy.

Could Phil have known about this? Probably not, as Phil seemed to do everything in his power to take distance from the horrid law that he clearly hated without being able to voice his hatred.

“But he wouldn’t…”

Dan was interrupted yet again and this time it was with an evil sounding laugh.

“What is this? A soft spot for your master, huh? All nobility is the same boy, even that awkward prince. Now come with me before you regret it.”

Dan’s feet started moving without his permission. He felt trapped and worried and the metaphorical scar tissue he’d formed so carefully over the last few weeks was being ripped up brutally. He went to his place of solitude in his mind where could just feel the music around him and not see the eyes hungrily taking in his body.

He’d filled out over these past week and he was more squishy and soft rather than lean and underweight. Dan wondered if it made him more attractive and shuddered at the thought.

When the door closed behind him, he wanted to drop to his knees and just cry. Phil hadn’t done it on purpose but having created this seemingly safe space and now to have it ripped out from under him, felt utterly devastating.

The man moved towards Dan and a large hand landed on the side of his neck and the fingers duck in with force. Dan yelped but didn’t move. The bearded man had almost beat resisting out of him and now past images swam in front of his eyes. Dan tried to focus on the invisible music and let that roll around him as a security blanket.

It would be over soon enough. He just had to breathe and get through it like before.

~*~

Phil was worried he’d have a heart attack at this rate. He was running down the corridor with guest bedrooms, flinging open every single door without hesitance. Most of them were just empty and a few locked, which he quickly undid with his master key.

So far he’d only managed to surprise one person who’d sat up in bed and seemed very angry at being woken from his nap. Phil would handle that later.

He needed to find out if Dan was here.

The horrible thought, that had entered his brain as soon as he’d sprinted out of his room, was still tearing him up from the inside. Sharing personal servants was a fairly common thing between nobility. Initially, it had started with lending out someone’s sowing skills or something like that but because of the twisted dark side of the law someone actually used it to pimp out their personal servants.

He knocked fiercely on yet another door and with not immediate response he yanked it open. Phi didn’t get angry often and he was more scared than anything but the fear displayed itself as anger.

Maybe that was why the lord, who saw him, looked genuinely scared for a moment.

Dan’s back facing the door and a lord that Phil recognised but couldn’t recall the name of was grabbing onto his neck with enough force that Dan’s soft flesh had dented under the pressure.

This must what it felt like to be actually furious. Phil wasn’t sure he’d ever felt like that before.

The Lord composed himself rather quickly. “Hello Prince Philip,” he said, flashing Phil a playful grin as if the prince wasn’t staring at him with murder in his eyes.

A logical part of Phil’s brain reminded him that this encounter would surely reach his uncle’s ears and that he should be careful how he acted. A much more primal and protective side of Phil wanted to scream and verbally tear apart the lord for disrespecting Dan like that.

Phil had never felt so detached from his body in his life. He wondered if he’d be able to keep his voice even when he eventually found it. Right now, he felt mute.

~*~

Dan didn’t know what to make of this. It had only been a brief moment with him alone in the lord’s presence and now Phil was here. Dan wanted to crumble to the floor and let the tears fall but he’d long ago learnt to control when he cried. Phil had come to the rescue in time but all this brought up too many dark memories.

He couldn’t see Phil and he desperately wanted to turn around and see the expression on Phil’s face. Would it be disgust? Would it be anger? Would it be sadness?

“Prince Philip, good to see you here… I actually wanted to ask you to make an agreement about your…” the lord began to say with his voice light and nonchalant.

Dan recognised it as the suck-up voice. The lord still thought he could get the outcome he wanted. He still thought that he could offer Phil something for access to Dan. Dan didn’t want to believe that Phil would ever agree to that but his pesky insecurities tried to convince him of otherwise.

"Get _your hands_ off my property," Phil finally said when he found his voice and Dan let out a breath he didn’t know that he’d been holding. Phil’s words where cold and loaded with authority and Dan almost trembled in the lord's grip.

"As you wish, my royal highness," the lord said and released Dan, who knew he'd have light bruises the next day.

Right now, he didn't care. Phil had called him _property_ and at once again Dan had been reminded what he was. It had been so easy to forget with Phil, who was kind and warm and treated him like an equal, like a friend. Dan was still Phil's property when it came down to it.

Phil had never ever said or even implied that. In fact over the past few weeks as they’d grown closer, Dan would tether around it with jokes and Phil would always shut him down and stop to reassure him, even if Dan was genuinely joking. Phil didn’t think Dan’s life was a joking matter. It had comforted Dan at the time but right now, he wondered if this was the real side of Phil.

Perhaps, it was because Dan hadn’t seen Phil around nobility before and this was when the prince’s true colours came out. Dan wanted to sink to the floor yet again but he forced his legs to keep standing and turned around to face Phil.

Phil looked disgusted, angry and sad all rolled into one.

The lord was saying something but Dan didn’t pay attention as Phil stepped forward and grabbed hold of his arm.

~*~

Phil was dragging Dan along a bit too forcefully. He needed to get them back to his chambers, away from prying eyes before he did anything else. Phil was not the temperamental kind of guy but he felt fuelled by anger when he’d seen the lord’s hands on Dan. No one could touch Dan without the brunet himself giving consent. It was a bit ironic that Phil was now dragging him by the arm, but Phil wasn’t even thinking clearly anymore.

He slammed the door behind them once then reached his chambers and he turned around to see a terrified Dan. Dan looked like a mirrored image of the boy he’d been when he had first had been dragged to Phil’s chambers. Phil felt his heart shatter.

He’d failed Dan. He’d promised nothing would happen to him here and that nothing would be done without his consent.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil rushed to say and without thinking he fell to his knees before Dan.

He never wanted to turn into men like his uncle, who saw people lower than him like pawns and property. Even if Phil didn’t believe the words he had said, he’d still said them. They had tasted vile in his mouth but he’d seen the fractured look in Dan’s eyes. He was so scared that he’d broken the tentative trust they spent weeks building between them.

Dan stuttered unable to produce proper words and Phil lifted his eyes from the floor but stayed on his knees. He was within touching distance of Dan even as he kept his hands at his sides and finally his actions of essentially dragging Dan through the halls caught up with him. He’d promised not to touch him and he’d broken that promise as well.

“I didn’t mean it, Dan. It was just the only way… no, it was _simplest_ way to get him to back away. But it was so wrong of me to say it anyhow. Please don't think that I would ever actually believe you to be my property. And I’m sorry for grabbing your arm too, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Phil’s voice was wavering with doubt and sorrow and begging Dan to understand him.

Dan sighed quietly and gently and hesitantly his left hand stroked over Phil's hair, the touch almost ghostlike.

“Get up please. You’re making me uncomfortable being on your knees before me,” Dan said and his voice was soft.

The gentle, barely-there stroke of his hair and Dan’s gentle voice caused Phil to frown but he looked up to meet Dan’s eyes.

~*~

Dan had wanted to sink to his knees the moment they reached Phil’s chambers but Phil had beaten him to it. Dan didn’t know how to react to the prince actually being on his knees in front of Dan and begging for forgiveness.

Phil hadn’t actually done anything wrong. Grabbing hold of Dan’s arm wasn’t the smartest move considering his promise, but Phil had been gentle, even while delirious.

Dan wasn’t sure what had compelled him to reach out and touch Phil’s hair. Perhaps, it was because he’d admired it for a while and secretly wondered if it was as soft as he imagined. It was. Mostly though, Dan wanted to give Phil a sense of comfort in his time of distress.

The whole thing that had passed between the lord and himself was still catching up and he knew he’d suffer from nightmares at least the next couple of days. Not so much from the interaction in itself but from the old wound it ripped up and the worries of what might have passed if Phil hadn’t found him so quickly.

“Phil…” Dan said and his voice sounded like it might crack any moment but he didn’t care. Phil looked into his eyes; the prince’s blue orbs clouded with worry and fear.

“Yes, Dan?”

“Thanks for coming to get me,” he said almost shyly. “The lord spoke of lending out agreements and for a moment I feared…”

“No! Dan, I would never allow that! I’ll make sure everybody know that you are not part of that in any way. And I need to apologise for the property comment again. I was worried what the lord might bring back to my uncle about our encounter…”

Dan hadn’t even thought about that. It was easy to forget that it was the pressure from the king that had brought Phil to accept Dan in the first place. Phil had explained to Dan how disobeying his king would throw him from the succession to the throne.

“Dan, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to watch out for you.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Dan reasoned.

“I’m still sorry. What happened with the lord… I can’t even begin to grasp what that must have felt like to you. I thought I could protect you from that.”

Dan broke into a genuine smile at that. Of course, Phil wanted to protect Dan, even against the things that were out of his control. Phil had been adamant that he saw Dan as a friend and if truth be told, Dan had started to feel the same about Phil. That was a whole different plate of dangerous.

“I’ll be okay, Phil. It wasn’t… good for me but I’ll be okay. I’m always okay. Trust me, I’ve been through worse. This was nothing really,” Dan said and hoped that Phil would understand that he felt strong enough to move on.

He always had to be strong enough to power on. He refused to break. He’d get beaten down a lot but he always found his footing again, even if it took a while for him to get up.

~*~

Phil wasn’t sure if he believed that Dan would be ‘okay’ because he wasn’t sure what Dan’s definition of ‘okay’ was. The cold and guarded look Dan had worn when Phil had met him for the first time wasn’t being okay.

It was surviving but it wasn’t being okay.

Now, laughing over inside jokes, or smiling when playing the piano, or tossing a pebble playfully after Phil in the garden, or staying up late to talk about how space worked, that was living. That was being okay.

But Phil smiled back at Dan because Dan needed to support now. Phil would just have to make it his mission to show Dan what living life should be like.

It shouldn’t be keeping your head down, or flinching whenever someone came near, or sleeping with an eye open, or checking food to see if it was poisoned, or being able to take the abuse.

“We’ll try to do better, Dan. I’ll make sure no one goes near you with what they think is implicit permission ever again. If you would like to… if you’d want to talk about anything, not necessarily this, but just you know… things on your mind. F-feel free to talk to me, okay? I’m here if you need me.”

Phil wondered if Dan understood how deeply Phil meant the words he was struggling to express. Dan’s face looked tried and defeated but one side of his lips tugged upwards and he gave Phil a reassuring nod to go along with the tiny smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? I really love this chapter and this scene was one of the very early scenes I knew would have to be included in this story. I just love the dynamic between the two of them in this, even if it's breaking my heart to write something bad happening to Dan, especially because this encounter ripped up old wounds that will need to be addressed later. Let me know your thoughts?
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 14th of October 2017.


	11. Moonlight Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dan woke up from night terrors, he should have been worried about waking Phil and being punished for disrupting the prince's sleep. Instead, Phil was as understanding as ever and he was instantly trying to figure out how to make Dan feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: night terrors, (vague) references to past abuse

Dan woke up in drenched in sweat and with his heart racing way too fast. It took him a good minute to take in his surroundings and remember he was in Phil’s chambers.

Prince Philip, one of the most rich and influential people in the land. Phil, who had promised to never touch him and try his best to protect Dan.

Dan had learnt to have quiet nightmares a long time ago. It wouldn’t do good to wake up people in the middle of the night with crying because he’d be punished for that. Instead, his tears would fall silent and the slightly racked breathing was all indication that he’d been upset.

He lied back down on the sheets beneath him and tried to ignore how they unpleasantly clung to his skin. Dan breathed out, purposely focusing on emptying the entirely of his lungs so they could pull in only fresh air, which was untainted with the horrible nightmare Dan had just been through.

Rough callous hands with black hair on top of the fingers clouded his vision even now and he tried to move back as the imagery came at him. They couldn’t strangle him, not anymore. He was with Phil now.

Dan hadn’t told Phil but when he was having trouble sleeping, he’d listen closely to the prince’s soft snores and sync up their breathing. Phil slept fairly soundly and Dan’s heartbeat always seemed to calm down when he focused on Phil’s breathing rather than the unpleasant memories forcing their way into his consciousness.

Of course, the whole lord with grabby hands had to trigger all Dan’s old night terrors. He was mostly just angry with himself for letting his guard drop because instantly someone had been there to take advantage of it.

He turned over, ignoring the way sweat drenched sheets clung to his skin and zoned in on Phil’s breathing. It took a while but eventually Dan went back to sleep.

~*~

Phil had been watching Dan very closely since the event that passed with the lord. Dan seemed to move on suspiciously well but Phil could sense that something was off about Dan. He’d lost the shine that had returned to his face last week.

He still met Phil’s eyes and made small talk but he was distant. The songs he played on the piano all seemed to be melancholic or tragic ones but Phil didn’t comment. It wasn’t his place to interfere.

The king had heard about the event from the tattletale of a lord but it hadn’t been brought up as more than a snide comment at the dinner table the following day. However, Phil caught the edge in his uncle’s voice.

“I hear you’ve chosen to exclude your personal servant from the usual renting agreements, Prince Philip?” his uncle had said but then moved on as if he hadn’t just made a major dig at Phil.

Phil worried what might happen if the king found out how Phil refused to treat or see Dan as a personal servant. He wondered if it was enough to boot Phil from the succession to the throne. Maybe. Either way, it didn’t matter because Phil would never indulge in treating Dan poorly or as less of a human being.

~*~

It was the fourth night after the lord incident that Dan finally snapped. It might be that he had tried to supress his nightmares for three nights in a row and his body just refused to obey him anymore.

He knew he was probably supposed to deal with his shit… but it was all so horrible that it was easier to just bottle it up and pretend it wasn’t there. He’d done it for three years without this many problems.

It was probably because he’d either been worked to the bone or abused to the point of passing out at those places. He never had time to stop and think about it because he had to do another day of demeaning work the moment his eyes snapped open.

Phil had given him peace and it has caused his mind to become active again. He didn’t do a lot around the castle and all the worries from before didn’t apply anymore. The first few weeks had been fine because on some level Dan had thought that he’d been dreaming. Everything had been too perfect and pleasant for it to be real life.

Then that stupid lord had triggered something much deeper by showing Dan that bad things still could get him and this was in fact his real life and that he would never escape his fate.

The sob escaped his lips too loudly and he heard Phil stir in bed but it was past the point of covering it up. The nightmare had been horrible and based on a memory from the first time Dan completely surrendered and stopped fighting the bearded man. It had taken _months_ for his defiance to crack but eventually it snapped painfully.

“Dan?” Phil called out softly and Dan heard feet hit the floor.

He sprung up from his own bed, nearly falling over as he was tangled in his duvet. He held out his hands towards Phil and shot him a warning look, though Dan doubted that he looked very intimidating with shaking hands and tears running down his cheeks.

~*~

Something startled Phil awake and instantly, he worried if it was an alarm call and the castle was being attacked. He was a fairly heavy sleeper and it took a lot to startle him awake. However, the alarm sound wasn’t filling the air.

In fact, it seemed eerily quiet until Phil heard a muffled sob coming from the sofa. He grabbed his glasses and swung his legs out of bed as quietly as possible. Dan didn’t react well to his name and he looked frantic as he glared at Phil from across the room.

Heavy tearstains appeared on Dan’s blotchy face and the boy’s breathing was too irregular. Dan looked positively furious and Phil stopped in his tracks.

Dan looked dangerous.

For the first time since inviting the boy into his chambers, Phil felt a spike of fear that harm might come to him. Dan didn’t look like himself at all. He looked like a feral animal. As an animal lover, Phil approached pretty much any animal crossing his path and it had resulted in him being bitten a couple of times.

He had no interest in knowing how Dan would bite.

But then something changed in Dan’s face and posture. He let his arms drop to his sides and focused his eyes on the floor and a shameful expression made home on his face.

“Sorry, Phil,” Dan choked out. “You scared me.”

Phil almost confessed that Dan had scared him but it didn’t seem like the best thing to bring up right now. Dan had been looking more and more exhausted over the last few days and Phil wondered if the boy had slept properly at all. This was the first time Phil had woken up but that didn’t mean that Dan hadn’t been restless and crying before now.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Phil asked. “I don’t know what you might need in a situation like this but if... if there’s anything I can do, please tell me, Dan.”

~*~

Surprisingly, Phil had looked scared of him. The flash of fear in Phil’s eyes had brought Dan back to his senses and guilt had washed over him. He had been on the receiving end of intimidation for so long, so how dare he scare Phil?

Kind-hearted, awkward and wonderful Phil.

“I don’t know if there’s anything you can do, Phil,” Dan answered eventually and his throat felt raw. Maybe he’d been crying during his nightmare too?

“There’s nothing at all to help you feel more at ease or help it pass?” Phil pressed on and he looked desperate on Dan’s behalf.

Playing piano came to mind but with his hands shaking like this, it likely wouldn’t help at all.

“I don’t know, Phil. Fresh air maybe? We could open a window?” Dan suggested because he wanted to offer something to Phil.

He should have been worried about being smacked for waking up the one who had charge of him but Dan realised he hadn’t been at all. He’d just been worried about disrupting Phil’s sleep. It never occurred to him that Phil would punish him for his nightmare and the thought was comforting.

“Fresh air?” Phil asked and then looked like he got an idea. “Great idea. Let’s go.”

“Where?” Dan asked confused and rubbing his red-rimmed eyes so hard that his vision went blurry afterwards. Was this how Phil saw the world without his glasses or contact lenses?

“The garden,” Phil answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dan almost wanted to laugh because Phil was being absolutely endearing. “Past midnight, in our pyjamas?”

“Yes,” Phil said seriously and Dan found himself walking out the door Phil held open for him. What the heck? It wasn’t like he was going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon.

~*~

The first time Phil’s father had gotten sick; Phil had been plagued by nightmares. He’d usually run to Martyn’s room and crawl into bed with his older brother and that would calm him down. However, one night Martyn hadn’t been home, Phil couldn’t remember why but he just remembered the dread of not knowing what to do.

He’d begun walking around the halls to try and tire himself out and eventually made his way to the door that led to the garden. He’d hesitated but pushed the door open. After staring at the fountain for better part of an hour, he’d gone back to his room to sleep.

Phil didn’t dare to try and drag Dan physically but he was ushering him on enough that he might as well have. Dan moved with groggy steps but he didn’t complain and followed willingly.

Phil made a beeline for the fountain and sat down on the bench opposite it and curled his legs up under him. Dan stopped by him, looking very unsure. Phil resisted padding the space next to him because something warned him that might also be part of a painful memory for Dan. The last thing he needed was to trigger something else with Dan in this fragile state.

Instead he said, “Would you come sit with me for a moment?”

~*~

Dan wasn’t sure what Phil had wanted to do in the garden but apparently it was just sitting in the bench in front of the fountain. This wasn’t the part of the huge garden where they usually spent their time. Mostly they hung out by the flower patches or the cherry blossoms towards the back.

Sitting next to Phil was such a small request. The bench was made for three people and even if Phil was taking up more than calculated space with his folded legs, there was still plenty of room for Dan.

He took a breath and sat down. Phil looked sideways at him and smiled shyly and slowly, Dan’s body began to relax.

The water in the fountain felt almost hypnotising: just a steady flow and spray of water in a predictable pattern. Dan wondered if Phil knew this would help him calm down.

“I came out here when I couldn’t sleep when I was younger,” Phil said, his voice low in the quiet night.

The moon was almost full and illuminating everything. Chancing a proper glance at Phil, Dan saw how the moonlight played off the water and the reflection showed in Phil’s pale face. The prince looked ethereal and gorgeous.

“You have experiences with nightmares? Insomnia?” Dan wondered out loud and then cringed because that sounded rude, didn’t it? “I just mean…”

“No, it’s alright,” Phil interrupted before Dan could correct himself. “I get that you’re surprised. After all, I grew up very differently from you. I’m aware I’m in an extremely privileged position. I never had financial trouble. My parents and my brother love me as dearly as I love them. I have a best friend who’d get into a fistfight with someone twice her size to defend my honour. Everybody knows my name and looks up to me.”

As Phil listed off things, Dan couldn’t help but pick up on the undertones of what he wasn’t saying.

“But?” Dan prompted.

“But…” Phil said and shot Dan a fond smile. “Everybody has problems. It’s not a competition and objectively, I know your problems are much worse. However, we all have things that affect us. Can you keep a secret?”

Dan gulped because Phil shouldn’t be telling Dan secrets, even though he had already done it so many times. Secrets were power and Phil was always running his mouth off to Dan without thinking. Dan’s word might legally be worth less but if he had enough information, he’d be able to use it against Phil. Yet, he couldn’t imagine actually doing that.

So instead he replied with a “yes.”

~*~

Phil should shut his mouth but Dan was looking less tense with every word leaving Phil’s lips. It gave Dan something to focus on, just like how he’d been staring at the flow of the water for nearly half an hour before Phil spoke.

Besides, Phil wanted to tell Dan. Despite their situation, he’d come to see Dan as a friend and he didn’t like to keep secrets from people who were truly his friends.

“My father got sick when I was ten. We thought we’d lose him,” Phil said and sucked in a breath. “Daisy’s father managed to save his life but it’s a chronic illness. At some point, his body won’t be able to fight it off anymore, not even with the right medication. He’s got ten years back at best. Two at worst…”

Dan’s mask cracked and Phil saw the compassion that Dan fought so hard to keep hidden. Dan looked torn and then there was the warm touch of a hand on Phil’s knee. There was barely any weight behind Dan’s touch but the mere action of reaching out to give Phil physical comfort was enough to make him feel at ease. He wanted to pull Dan in for a tight hug and gather up reassurances that way but Phil knew this light touch was still monumental for Dan.

“I didn’t… I never knew that. I’m sorry, Phil. I’m sorry for insinuating that you didn’t have anything that could make you lose sleep. I didn’t think. I guess… it’s easy for me to think that you’re some superior being that doesn’t struggle or get hurt.”

Phil almost cackled at that but he held it in and offered Dan a shy smile instead. “I’m far from that, Dan. You should know that by now. I’m just a regular guy like everybody else.”

~*~

Dan shook his head. “No, you are extraordinary, Phil. Perhaps not superior or perfect but you are something special. Not many would have grown up like you have and keep this compassion towards all those beneath you. You never once snicker at any of the staff. You treat everyone you meet with respect, regardless of their status, even me.”

“That’s called not being an asshole, Dan. I hardly think that qualifies me to be someone extraordinary,” Phil said and followed with a dry laugh.

Dan didn’t want to argue and he wasn’t sure how he could make Phil see himself the way he did. He didn’t want to push and break the carefully set up boundaries between them. Or the tentative trust that had slowly but surely formed between them.

Looking down at his hand on Phil’s knee, Dan wondered if he should pull it back. He wondered what had even made him reach out in the first place. Phil had just looked so vulnerable and frankly, in need of a hug but Dan couldn’t even entertain that thought without an internal shudder.

The hand on the knee though – that felt okay somehow and Dan wasn’t quite ready to let go yet.

“A lot of people are assholes,” Dan said. “I know from experience.”

“Dan?” Phil asked and he sounded so unsure. “Do you want to talk about your nightmares? It might be a good way to make them go away.”

Dan smiled at Phil’s naivety and pulled off his hand slowly. He needed it back in his own lap as he tried to pull up the barriers Phil seemed so keen on breaking down. Dan wasn’t sure if talking about it would help. It probably would but he just didn’t know how to even begin that process. Opening that shit drawer seemed like a bad idea.

“I don’t know if I can, Phil. Not now. Maybe not ever. But…” Dan tried because this was Phil and Phil was looking at him so hopefully. He had to say something. “It’s not just fictive nightmares or my mind twisting something in a fantasy world. It’s memories. Horrible memories I wish I could erase from my mind. At the very least, I could go without reliving them in my sleep.”

~*~

Phil missed the touch of Dan the moment the boy pulled his hand back and he worried that he’d overstepped again by asking Dan to consider talking about his nightmares. He hadn’t expected such an honest or terrifying answer.

Actual memories?

Phil still didn’t know the details of the last three years of Dan’s life but he knew there had been physical, mental and sexual abuse scattered along the time.

If Dan was reliving those memories in his sleep… Phil visibly shuddered and felt goose pimples arise on his skin. It felt so unfair. Dan had made it out. He’d made it out and yet his mind forced him to go back and experience his darkest times?

“I shouldn’t try and push you, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Dan said and leaned back a bit on the bench. “We sure are apologising to each other a lot.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Phil said with a smile.

Dan hummed in agreement and his eyes drifted back to the statue on top of the fountain.

“Hey Dan? What do you see when you look at the statue?” Phil asked because he didn’t quite yet want to break their little night conversation. He also wanted to share the history behind the statue because everyone got it wrong at first glance.

~*~

“The statue?” Dan asked and looked back at the two figurines on top of the fountain. It was a man and a woman; the man kneeled before the woman. The man wore an almost desperate look on his face and the woman’s face was scrunched up and tears frozen down her cheeks.

“He’s proposing to her?” suggested Dan eventually. The man seemed to be holding something in his hand but from this angle you couldn’t make out what it was but it had to be a ring, right?

“Nope,” Phil said and popped the P and he looked pleased. “Everybody gets it wrong, to be fair. It’s made like that on purpose. It’s supposed to make people think that it’s the symbol of blossoming love, one of our past kings asking a lady to be his wife and the land’s queen.”

“What is it really then?” Dan asked. He remembered looking out the window on his first night here and seeing the figurines too far away to tell what they were portraying. At their second visit to the garden, he’d gotten a proper look at them but something had always seemed a little off to him. There was something in the way they held themselves but a man kneeling before a woman like that normally only meant one thing.

~*~

Dan sounded almost impatient to know the truth behind the figurines and Phil smiled brightly. Dan never ceased to impress him with being interested in everything Phil spoke or knew about.

“They portray a king and queen who reigned a hundred years ago; my great-great grandparents. They were already married in the situation the statue shows. For a period, a lot of raids happened and one particular king of another land fancied himself an emperor and tried to get power the old fashion way: kill the monarchs and everyone descending to the throne and take on the position unchallenged.”

“People could actually do that?” Dan asked and sounded horrified.

“Yes, you could. And this one almost did. He’d murdered the queen mother, all of the king’s younger siblings and their children, and he’d left the king and queen for last. They were yet to have children of their own because the king married late. The intruder was sardonic and promised that he’d let one survive if they killed the other.”

“No…”

Phil nodded solemnly. “He was twisted. Everybody in the kingdom knew about the king’s love for his queen. He’d been looking for someone to share his life with for a long time. He was ten years behind everybody else with marrying but after he found his queen, he’d never shut up about her. The tyrant wanted the king dead and he didn’t care about the queen who didn’t have any blood claim. He knew the king would do anything on the odd chance his wife could make it out alive. That’s how the king fell on his knees and had to beg his wife, the love of his life, to kill him so that she could survive.”

Realisation dawned on Dan’s face. “That’s what the figurines show,” he said and studied them closer.

“Indeed. You can walk around the other side and if you look closely you can see a small dagger in her outstretched hand, pointing towards him. What you might mistake for a ring box in his is the hilt of his dagger, pointing towards himself. It’s not a story of beginning their life together. It’s a story of how one of them died. But it’s still a story about love.”

“I mean I’m grateful for taking my mind of the nightmare, Phil. But it’s quite a sad and sinister story too. Did the tyrant kill the queen?” Dan asked, while playing with the hem of his shirt.

“No, after she’s killed the king, the tyrant threw her into the streets. It’s rumoured that her screams lingered in the air for weeks afterwards. The tyrant took control of the land and forgot about the queen. She was broken. The story says she’d been ready to kill herself but one thing stopped her.”

“What?” Dan asked, turning halfway around to face Phil.

“She was pregnant,” Phil said with finality and saw Dan’s eyes boggle out.

“She was pregnant? Wait, so she was carrying a blood heir?”

“She was. Nobody had known about it yet. The king and queen hadn’t wanted to tell anyone before it was certain they weren’t going to lose it. The queen feared she might abort now because of her trauma but the foetus held on. A boy was born seven months later and during those months the queen reached out to old friends from other ruling families and guards from the castle. When the child was just five days old, they’d succeed in infiltrating the castle and banishing the tyrant and his people. The queen became queen regent for her son.”

~*~

“That’s some story,” Dan said and noticed how close he’d leaned towards Phil while he was telling the story. He pulled back slightly and cleared his throat. “I get why you’d have a statue to remember that part of your history but doesn’t it defy the point if people don’t actually connect the two?”

“There’s the basic information on the plague. The king and queen’s grandson made the statue when he was a young adult. He wanted to showcase their love but got the idea to mask in what might just have been any proposal between regents. You have to look closely to know the truth; the hidden daggers, how the queen’s hand is swooped toward her belly, the king’s intense, determined stare that contradicts the defeatism his body display.”

Dan listened to Phil’s words and watched the figurines again and he could see it all now.

“Why hide it?” Dan wondered out loud.

“It’s difficult to open up about past trauma. People still don’t really know that the queen had to kill her husband to get out of there. It’s somewhat of a family secret. They just know she made it out with a royal baby in her belly and that saved the throne.”

Dan froze at Phil’s confession. “How many secrets do you just spill to me?”

“All of them apparently,” Phil responded. “Why do you look offended at that?”

“I’m not… I just…” Dan wasn’t sure how to explain it to Phil. “I’m not supposed to know all these things if they’re secret, Phil. I could run off and tell people.”

Phil stiffened slightly at that but it didn’t last more than a second.

“Are you going to?”

“No.”

Dan’s response surprised himself as well. He hadn’t expected to speak with such confidence and not hint of hesitation whatsoever.

“Then it’s fine,” Phil said and shot a smile his way that made Dan’s stomach flop. “I thought I should tell you about the old king and queen because their statue isn’t what it seems on the surface. It’s disguised as a loving, uncomplicated, perfect moment. In reality, it shows the worst moment of their lives. The queen had to move on after that, she had to give birth and then rule her husband’s kingdom. She probably wanted to give up so many times. I have no doubt about that. But you know what she didn’t do despite everything that had been done to her?”

“She didn’t give up,” Dan replied.

“Exactly.”

Dan wasn’t sure why Phil wanted to give him a history lection but it became evident then. Phil wanted Dan to consider multiple aspects of the figurines and the story behind them. Both were hiding the painful truth with a pretend that everything was okay and to keep going, even after something has ripped you apart and marked you for life.

“Thanks for telling me, Phil, and talking me out here. I feel better. I didn’t think I could.”

“Anytime, Dan. I mean it. You never have to tell me anything if you don’t want to but if you ever need me to distract you or something, then you can come to me too. I’m here if you need me, you know.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan replied and hoped his cheeks wasn’t actually flushing despite the warmth he felt under his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? That story about the former king and queen came to me unexpectedly when I was writing this chapter but I quite like how it turned out. I know it's a big focus in this chapter and perhaps odd to have the story explained through their dialogue. And as always with my stories, all these little details or tangents tend to come into play later and I have no doubt this one will too. I also just liked that it was a little story in a story thing and it worked perfectly as a way for Phil to distract Dan. As always, feedback is very appreciated. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 21st of October 2017.


	12. Phil's Brother Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Phil's brother returned home from his travel, Dan wondered if it would change anything between him and Phil. Additionally, Martyn had a very exciting announcement to make.

Dan didn’t stop having nightmares after Phil talked to him in the garden that night. It wasn’t a miracle solution but Phil noticed the brunet carrying himself a little lighter than before. The songs he’d play in the piano changed again, a mix of the joyous and the melancholic.

A few nights Phil had been woken up by Dan’s night terrors and each time Phil had simply gotten out of bed and held open the door and together they’d walked to the garden to sit on the bench in front of the fountain.

Sometimes they talked. Other times, they didn’t exchange a single word.

However, Dan always seemed calmer when they made their way back to their chambers afterwards. The tension would have drained out of his body and he was able to go back to sleep again.

Phil noticed how Dan got more and more comfortable being within his close proximity. He almost never flinched when Phil forgot about the invisible boundaries and he got a little closer than Dan was used to. Dan also began to sit closer to Phil on the bench, which Phil counted like a huge victory.

It became hard to remember a time before he had Dan in his life. The boy took up so much space and time. Whenever Phil wasn’t going prince duties, he’d hang out with Dan. Dan was quickly becoming the best friend that Phil never knew he needed.

It was a quiet afternoon when Phil was sitting in the library rereading one of his old favourite books while Dan toyed with the keys on the grand piano, mixing up an original melody. Phil had gotten used to reading with music in the background and whenever he picked up a book now and Dan wasn’t playing, he’d feel odd.

Phil had no clue how Dan had managed to change so much in his life so damn quickly. Perhaps, it was adjusting to this new lifestyle that left Phil completely baffled when suddenly the library doors sprang open and none other than his older brother walked through them.

It had been nearly half a year since he’d seen his older brother and Phil had to do a double take. Martyn had lost some weight, his hair was shorter and the grin on his face stretched from ear to ear. Phil couldn’t recall ever seeing his brother smile like that. He looked radiant.

“Martyn?” Phil asked in disbelief, discarding his book and standing just as Martyn rushed forward and embraced him in a bone-crushing hug. Phil sunk into the embrace instantly and hugged his brother back with all his might.

~*~

Dan had jumped in his seat when the library doors had burst open with a bang. The only other person who really came by the library in the afternoons was usually Daisy and though often rowdy, even she didn’t make so much noise.

Even before Phil called out the stranger’s name, Dan had figured out who it was.

How couldn’t he? The older of the princes looked a lot like Phil, even down to the brilliant smile. Dan saw how both pair of eyes lit up when they saw each other and then they were hugging like they hadn’t seen each other in ages.

Upon a short reflection, Dan recalled that Martyn had been travelling for quite a long time and they actually hadn’t seen each other in months at least. He felt slightly like he was intruding on a private moment between the brothers but his body wouldn’t move.

His fingers were poised over the keys, stilled from the initially burst of the doors swinging open. Dan didn’t want to go back at playing but it would be too awkward to stand and introduce himself.

Would Phil even like that?

Phil was extremely adamant about treating Dan as an equal but Dan hadn’t met any of the other royal family members. He didn’t have any desire to, at least not until now.

Dan knew how much Phil loved his brother and he suddenly wanted to know more about the people closest to Phil. He loved all the random trivia Daisy had told him about Phil over the past two months he’d been here and he found he always yearned for more information about Phil.

~*~

“When did you get home?” Phil asked when he finally pulled back from the embrace and studied his older brother up close. Martyn looked tanner than before, freckles sprawled across his cheeks.

“I literally just arrived, Philip. Figured you’d still be holed up in this dusty place and I had to come see my baby brother first thing,” Martyn nudged him and then suddenly seemed to realise the presence sat at the grand piano.

Phil wanted to smack himself. He’d completely forgotten about Dan for a moment.

Martyn turned back to him and raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. His brother knew about the grand piano’s significance and how much the instrument mattered to Phil. Phil didn’t like how Martyn seemed to see right through him. He must already have realised how much Phil trusted this man his brother didn’t know yet.

“Sorry, where’s my manners?” Phil asked. “Martyn, this is my friend Dan. Dan, this is my older brother Martyn.”

~*~

Dan’s brow furrowed briefly at Phil’s introduction as a friend. It was kind and considerate but Dan wondered how long it would take for Martyn to learn the truth of their relationship. Well, the truth did reflect what Phil had said but outwardly something other than friendship that bound them together.

“Dan, nice to meet you,” Martyn said and did a slight bow from where he was standing next to Phil.

Dan was sure his eyes looked ready to pop out of their sockets. A prince just bowed to him. Phil did more important stuff all the time but Dan seemed to constantly forget that Phil was actually a prince, so that didn’t count as much. Dan had trouble seeing Phil as anything other than just… well, Phil.

“Likewise,” Dan managed to choke out and did a slight bow of his head too, still sitting at the piano bench.

Martyn was staring in his direction and Dan felt his skin crawl. The older prince was clearly sizing him up and unsure what to make of Dan’s presence. Phil looked awkward and miserable and surprisingly seemed to look to Dan for reassurance.

Dan wasn’t sure what to do but he shot Phil a small smile.

“Have you even seen Mum and Dad yet, Martyn? They must be ecstatic that you’re back?” Phil finally seemed to find his voice and Martyn’s eyes drifted away from Dan.

~*~

Martyn wouldn’t stop staring at Dan, and Phil knew it was just a matter of time before Martyn opened his mouth and said something that would make Dan uncomfortable. He forced out the first words he could think of.

“No, I haven’t seen our parents. Like I said, I came straight to see you. But I can’t wait to tell you all about my travels. They’ve been absolutely wonderful and I’ve got big news to share with you. Like extremely big news.”

That piqued Phil’s interest. His brother wasn’t usually dramatic, so he must have something major to share.

“What is it?” Phil pressed on.

Martyn’s eyes drifted back to Dan momentarily before he answered. “It’s a family matter. I’ll tell you later.”

Dan definitely concealed a flinch at that. Phil wanted to tell his brother to just spill the beans anyway. Dan might not be actual family but slowly Phil had begun to consider him a close to that. These days, confidential information and family secrets slipped out of Phil’s mouth by accident often enough.

Dan had warned Phil about it multiple times, almost scolding him for giving up secrets but Phil couldn’t help it. He found himself wanting to share everything with Dan.

“You could tell me now,” Phil said eventually to which he received a raised eyebrow from Martyn.

“Am I mistaken or is Dan not a staff member?” Martyn asked in a hushed voice. “Is he nobility that just likes to dress plainly?”

Now it was Phil’s turn to flinch. Of course, Martyn would have noticed Dan’s clothes. He pegged Dan as a member of staff when in fact he was hieratically even lower than that. Phil didn’t care but it was too complicated to explain to his brother right now.

“I’ll give you some space,” Dan interrupted and stood and Phil caught the slight tremor in Dan’s hands before the boy shoved them behind his back. “I’ll see you later, Phil.”

Dan was out the door before Phil could argue any further.

“Phil, huh?” Martyn asked and nudged Phil’s arm. “Have you been busy while I’ve been away, Philip?”

Phil felt flushed at the underlying implication of Martyn’s words. Martyn was one of the only people that knew that Phil liked boys. Well, before Phil took a male personal servant and everybody sort of figured it out on themselves.

“No, it’s not like that,” Phil defended and then deflated a little. He’d have to explain it to Martyn.

Unsurprisingly, Martyn took it well. Phil knew that his big brother always had his back and never once did Martyn’s eyes or tone turn judgemental. They both knew how much it mattered to protect their claim to the throne and what lengths they were willing to go to.

“That’s a though situation you got yourself in, Philip,” Martyn said when Phil finished a brief rundown of the events that lead to him taking on Dan. “But you do like him, don’t you?”

It was such a simple question but it made Phil’s world spin. He couldn’t be allowed to like Dan, not in the way that Martyn insinuated, however innocently. Dan had been through so much and people had abused the place of power they had over him before.

Phil could never allow himself to force a situation like that on Dan. They’d be friends and that was all it could be. Anything more would make Dan uncomfortable, so Phil didn’t even allow himself to acknowledge the occasional flutter in his chest when Dan did something adorable. He couldn’t let any potential feelings ruin what he had with Dan.

“It wouldn’t matter, Martyn. I don’t even know half of what he’s been through but it’s been bad. He needs to be able to feel safe here,” Phil replied after a long pause.

“But are you saying you’d do anything other than protect him or keep him safe? I know you, Phil. You could never hurt anyone. Least of all anyone you care about.”

Not on purpose, Phil thought to himself, but accidentally he might and he wasn’t taking that risk. Not with Dan. He was too important to him.

~*~

Dan made his exit swiftly when the brothers started whispering. He’d been intruding enough. They needed to be able to have their reunion in peace.

Martyn had looked sceptical of Dan from the moment he’d noticed him. Perhaps, the older prince wasn’t as accepting as his brother. Dan found the notion that anyone related to Phil could be mean ridiculous, if not for when he remembered that the current king was Phil’s uncle.

Dan shuddered.

He made his way down to the kitchen to see Daisy. She might have some work for him to do that could keep his mind off how Phil must be filling in Martyn on their situation.

The kitchen staff didn’t even blink as Dan appeared at the bottom of the stairs. They’d gotten used to him by now. The first few weeks they’d been pestering him with questions about Phil, just like the housemaids did but Dan never answered anything.

He didn’t like gossip to begin with but Phil had a habit of telling Dan secrets and Dan didn’t trust himself to differentiate between what he could say or couldn’t say. Phil had lost the filter ever since their first night sitting at the bench in front of the fountain.

Dan had done a little research after that. No history book had records that it was the queen who had killed the king but Dan had stumbled across multiple mentions of people seeking vengeance on the king’s murderer, who they thought to be the tyrant.

If the queen had told the truth back in the day, she’d probably have been killed. Dan wondered how many people actually knew the real story of the king’s murder. He’d casually asked Daisy about the fountain and she’d talked about the emotion in the figurine’s faces but she referred to it as a proposal as well.

Daisy smiled warmly at him as she spotted him. As usual, flour adorned the outskirts of her face and Dan oddly thought that it suited her.

“You tried of the library, huh?” she asked with humour in her voice as she tried of her hands that she’d just washed.

“Not exactly,” Dan said with a shrug. “Martyn came back home, so I left to give him and Phil some privacy.”

Daisy’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Wait, Prince Martyn, most likely the next regent after our current king, is back and we haven’t been told?”

Dan shrugged again. “Yeah? He said something about coming to see Phil first, so I don’t even think their parents know yet.”

“You are unbelievable, Dan,” Daisy said with a shake of her head. “The prince returns home and you know before his parents. Do me a favour? Go tell the housemaids to make up Martyn’s chambers. I’ll go find the chef and alert her that we need to produce something special for the return of the ever-travelling prince. You just gave us a head start. Thanks, honey.”

Daisy reached forward, cupping Dan’s cheek for less than a second before she jetted off in the steam and bustle of the kitchen. Dan slowly raised his hand to trace where her touch had been. He hadn’t allowed anyone to touch his face like that since his mother. It had been so loving, however short and Dan’s mind drifted to all the times Phil caught himself before giving Dan a nudge or squeeze or little innocent touch.

It seemed that Daisy had forgotten about how she usually avoided touching Dan, which was understandable with the news he’d just sprung on her.

What surprised him was the fact that he hadn’t flinched back at the brief contact. Momentarily, Dan wondered what it would have felt like if it had been Phil’s fingers gently gracing his cheek instead of Daisy’s.

Dan quickly pushed that thought down and walked back upstairs to talk to the housemaids like he’d promised.

~*~

Phil watched as their parents fussed about Martyn. Their mother wouldn’t let him go for even a moment. Their father had that small but proud smile on his face but he had to remain seated. It was one of his more weak days.

“I can’t believe my baby is finally back home,” their mother cooed.

“I’m not a baby anymore,” Martyn argued and tried in vain to escape his mother’s embrace. “Phil’s the baby of the family.”

“No, I’m not,” Phil snarled but it was half-hearted and lovingly. He’d missed the easy banter with Martyn, though he had it with Dan now too.

“Enough, you two. Now, Martyn dear, you mentioned something about news. What it is, my child?”

“Well… you know how I’ve been travelling around all the surrounding lands and explored. Normally, I do all these explorations just myself with just my small escort. However, this time someone else joined me. I met Princess Cornelia of the Bravian during my first stay in her father’s kingdom and we got on instantly. She’s been travelling with me for months.”

“This is excellent news,” their father noted. “They are a good family. It’s a good relation to have.”

“I’m happy you think so, father. Because I intend to marry her.”

Silence settled over the room so much that you’d be able to hear a pin drop. Phil stopped breathing out of surprise.

Martyn had been somewhat of a ladies’ man. He loved travelling and exploring and learning about new cultures. This usually meant getting close to a fair few ladies. He’d never been too serious with anyone before and he’d never talked of marriage.

Phil knew that Martyn had been brought up with the same attitude towards marriage s himself, with arguably even more pressure because he was the oldest.

Their parents wanted them to marry for love if at all possible, but that still had to be a royal princess, as they would otherwise lose their claim to the throne. If Martyn had truly fallen in love with a princess from a good family, then he was much luckier than Phil could hope to be.

“Marriage?” their mother eventually squealed. “You’re growing up so fast. Oh, dear Martyn. What a wonderful choice. We have to send for her. We need to meet our future daughter.”

“That won’t be a problem, mother, because I brought her with me.”

Now it was Phil’s turn to squeal. He couldn’t wait to see the woman, who was undoubtedly responsible for the permanent happy grin on his brother’s face. Martyn’s changed demeanour made so much more sense now. He was in love.

~*~

Dan alerted the housemaids like Daisy had asked him to but they’d almost screamed in his face out of despair. Apparently, they were busy with other work and thoroughly grumpy that no one had told them beforehand.

“Dan, could you go fetch the bedding in Prince Martyn’s room, so we can quickly wash it?” one of the housemaids asked and Dan agreed reluctantly.

He wasn’t much for snooping inside of someone’s chambers but Martyn was busy with Phil in the library and they’d undoubtedly head to talk to their parents afterwards, so there wasn’t any risk that Dan might run into Phil’s older brother.

What Dan didn’t count on was running into the room and seeing a gorgeous woman with short curly red hair, who smiled at him with real affection. Based on her appearance, Dan would have said she was just a staff member but the quality of her clothes told him otherwise.

Phil liked to dress casually but every item of clothing that the prince owned radiated quality. It seemed to be a similar situation with the girl in front of him.

“Hi?” Dan greeted awkwardly and unsure because why would a girl of nobility be in Prince Martyn’s chambers… unless Dan had entered the wrong room. “I’m sorry. I must have gone wrong.”

“Who were you looking for?” she asked and looked almost mischievous.

“Prince Martyn’s chambers. I was asked by the housemaids to fetch the bedding,” Dan explained.

“Well, let me give you a hand then,” the girl said and went over to the bed. “They seem perfectly clean to me though.”

“Excuse me, but who are you?” Dan asked with confusion.

“Well…” she began and toyed with the hem of her dress. “It’s a bit of a secret really.”

“Don’t tell me then. Phil always tells me too m…” Dan began to say without thinking but snapped his mouth shut before he completed his sentence and revealed to this random girl that a prince would share secrets with him.

“Phil? As in Prince Philip, Martyn’s brother?” the girl asked and her eyes lit up with excitement. “You’re close with him?”

Dan didn’t even know how to start explaining his and Phil’s relationship and merely nodded. He was certainly closer with Phil than he’d ever been with anyone else.

“Well, then I’m sure it’s fine to tell you. I’m Princess Cornelia of Bravian and I’m here with Martyn. He didn’t want anyone to know before he talked to his family and ushered me straight to his chambers. It’s a bit silly but quite fun.”

It didn’t take Dan long to piece together what had to be happening. A prince normally didn’t bring a random princess home to his family castle, if not for one specific purpose. Engagement. Prince Martyn must be getting married.

“Congratulations,” Dan found himself saying. He had dreamt of marrying when he’d been younger but it had become more complicated when he couldn’t figure out if he’d want to get married to a bride or a groom. And then he’d turned eighteen and the thought of marriage had been the very least of his problems.

Princess Cornelia crooked her head to the side in thought and then burst out smiling again.

“Thank you. You must be clever. It’s nice to see my future husband’s brother has good taste.”

“Oh, me and Phil, we’re not…” Dan almost choked on the words and he cursed as he felt heat spreading up his neck. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh? Sorry. It is just Martyn mentioned his brother’s preferences and I thought you might be…”

“No,” Dan said with a sharp shake of his head. “We’re… friends.”

He settled on the term Phil had used to describe them to Martyn. Phil should be the one having this conversation. It wasn’t Dan’s place and he didn’t know what to say. He’d never talked to a princess before, though Cornelia seemed very down to earth. Not once had she made a snappy remark. She seemed kind.

“I see,” Cornelia replied with a knowing glance and Dan felt that she was looking straight through him. “Nevertheless, I’m happy to meet you, Dan. I don’t know Philip but Martyn talks very fondly of him. I know that he worries that his younger brother doesn’t get out enough. He’s painted him as a bit of a shut-in, as has the royal rumour mill. But I’m happy to see that he’s got friends inside of the castle.”

Dan didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded again. It seemed that Martyn had spoken quite freely to Cornelia and it reminded Dan of his own relationship with Phil. Only the two of them were both royals and allowed to share secrets, unlike him and Phil.

Dan was just Phil’s personal servant to any outside eyes. He wondered if Cornelia would talk to him differently if she knew.

“I’ll be going,” Dan said and gathered up the bedding. “Nice to meet you, Princess Cornelia.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you too, Dan. I trust I’ll see more of you?”

“Perhaps,” Dan replied and a small smile made its way onto his lips.

Dan was slowly getting used to royals surprising him with their oddly normal behaviour. Phil wasn’t Prince Philip to Dan anymore and now both Martyn and Cornelia addressed him politely. The world wasn’t quite what Dan had thought it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad to finally be able to introduce Martyn and Cornelia! I love them so much as these characters. I hope you like them too. They're very accepting and chill, which was wonderful for Dan to see yet again that royalty doesn't always have to be like the king. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for the incredible response to this story. We're past 2,000 hits and 200 kudos at this point. You're all lovely. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 28th of October 2017.


	13. Let's Host a Masquerade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As soon as Phil got the idea, he was bursting to run off and tell Dan. He just needed his mother's approval and then he might be able to grant Dan something he'd never dreamed that he'd be able to do. Dan is shaken to his core by Phil's efforts and genuinely touched but surely, he couldn't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this half an hour early because my buddy @Julliecious asked me to. I hope you like it, Julia!

Phil was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Martyn was back and that he was getting married. His parents were over the moon and had demanded that Martyn go fetch his new princess immediately. Everyone was silently thankful that the king wasn’t at the castle at the moment or he’d certainly have interrupted their family reunion time. Though he was Martyn and Phil’s uncle, he didn’t really feel like proper family.

And after having talked to Cornelia for all of two minutes, Phil understood why his brother was so taken with her.

She was gorgeous, smiling, friendly and kind. She kept reaching out to touch Martyn’s arm, which seemed to be something she did out of nervousness. Martyn beamed more than when he’d won the fencing competition a couple of years back.

Phil hardly got a word in but he wasn’t trying much. His mother gushed enough for every member of the family as Martyn and Cornelia answered all her questions politely. They’d sent for a footman, to inform the kitchen of the prince’s return but apparently, the staff had already been informed.

“I do wish you’d have the decency to let me know you were heading home and with a future bride at your side, Martyn,” their mother said. “We need to hold a ball in your honour and now I’ll have to plan it in just a week’s time. I’m happy to have you home but you don’t think ahead, my son.”

“Don’t be so hard on our eldest, Catherine” their father interfered. “He was swept up in falling in love.”

“Dad’s right but I am sorry, Mum. I also wanted it to be a surprise. I didn’t want anyone to know I had found the woman I wanted to marry before I could talk to you.”

Martyn’s words sparked an idea in Phil’s head. A lot of different data poured into his head at the same time, building onto the initial idea. Would it be possible? If he remembered correctly, it was the perfect opportunity to give Dan something he wouldn’t ever dream of. But it would only be possible if Phil convinced his mother of a very specific theme.

“Wait,” Phil said, kicking himself a bit as he rudely interrupted but continued anyway, “what if the dance is a masquerade? That way you can get to reveal Cornelia to the whole kingdom in a unique way. We host a dance for Martyn’s homecoming and let it be known that he’s found his future bride. But said bride is masked, just like everyone else. It will create for a special evening of guesswork and more than a just run of the mill engagement party.”

Martyn’s eyes lit up instantly and Phil knew he had his brother on his side. He always was fond of surprising people and doing the unexpected. Cornelia grinned by his side as well.

“That does sound rather fun,” she said, “and perhaps it will allow me to gain some insight on my future husband based on the speculation.”

Martyn just grinned back at her, not fazed at all. Phil carefully looked to their mother. Ultimately, it would be her decision but he wanted her so desperately to agree. She might have seen the hope across her youngest features, because she just smiled and agreed.

Then talk turned to how to plan the party, which was the exact opportunity Phil had been waiting for.

“But what about music? The royal pianist is still recovering from his broken wrist. I suppose we could hire a band instead but I just love piano music,” their mother mused, half an hour into the party discussion.

“Oh, I heard of a wonderful pianist. Allegedly, he has a brilliant ear for music, despite his young age and he knows a whole variety of genres. Studied somewhere abroad, I think. I could call for him. I do believe that he’s in town,” Phil said, hoping the lies didn’t show on his face.

He had always been a terrible liar but he tried to focus on the part of what he said that was the truth. Dan was a wonderful pianist and if he could hide behind a mask, it might just allow him to play for an audience.

“I’m intrigued and I trust your opinion. Reach out and send him the usual sheet music,” she agreed and Phil wanted to jump with joy. He just barely constrained himself.

Plan in motion, now it only remained to convince Dan. It probably wouldn’t be easy but Dan had confessed how he’d wanted to be a musician and play for people, if his life hadn’t taken a different direction.

~*~

Dan was hiding out in their chambers, adamant not to run into more princes and princesses, who spilled their secrets to him. He’d never considered himself a friendly and open face but maybe Phil had transferred some of that onto him.

Phil came back to their chambers a couple of hours later, looking like he was about to burst the moment he stepped over the threshold. He hastily closed the door behind him.

“What’s up, Phil?” Dan asked, a tad worried.

Phil took a steading breath, obviously trying to get his excitement under control. Dan wondered if he was this excited because of his brother’s upcoming nuptials.

“Dan, if it was possible, what would you say to be able to play for a crowd?” Phil asked, his voice carrying a nervous tremble.

“It wouldn’t be,” Dan said, as matter of a fact. He didn’t understand what Phil was on about.

“Humour me, if it was possible for you to play to people… what would you say?”

Now it was Dan’s turn to take a steading breath. It was something he’d dreamt about when he’d been playing the old piano at the pub. He’d usually had a crowd of the regulars there but they were few as he was ushered out before people started getting drunk. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t imagined himself and a piano on a grand stage with an audience to listen to him.

It was an old dream and it hurt a bit for Phil to rip up old stitches. Dan felt like he’d probably let the existence of the old dream slip to Phil, like so much personal information tended to accidentally do between the two of them. Phil might sometimes be spilling royal secrets to Dan but Dan had also begun to spill personal secrets to Phil, which was just as precious to him.

“In a different lifetime, I would have liked to be able to do that, Phil. When I was sat at the piano, it was as if everything in the world made sense, even for a little while. I felt capable and good at something but evidently, I wasn’t good enough.”

“That’s bullshit, Dan,” Phil said and Dan was surprised to hear the prince swear. He rarely did it and when he did it was always when he was serious. Dan knew Phil hated when he was putting himself down, but it was an easy habit, especially since he’d been told much worse things from others over the past couple of years.

“Why are you asking, Phil?”

“We are holding a ball in honour of my brother returning and get this, he’s gotten engaged and…”

“I already know,” Dan muttered.

“What?”

“I ran into Princess Cornelia. Put two and two together. I’m happy for your brother.”

Phil was just staring at him, seemingly in wonder. Then he shook his head and continued.

“I’ll ask you about that later. What I was saying, we’re holding a ball and I’ve convinced them to make it a masquerade for the drama of revealing Cornelia. However, my true intentions were that it would make the perfect disguise for when you play the piano at said ball.”

Dan felt as if his eyes were about to bop out and his jaw bound to hit the floor any minute.

“Wait? What?”

~*~

Dan looked a little less thrilled than Phil had hoped for. He had, however, been prepared for it.

“Yes, Dan. You see, I knew the professional pianist we would usually hire is still recovering from an injury, so a spot would be open. Without anyone to play the grand piano, we might have hired a band, but everyone in my family has a soft spot for my grandmother’s piano. And if it’s a masquerade, then you can play without anyone knowing who you are!”

Dan was scowling at him, which didn’t seem promising at all.

“This isn’t a fairy tale, Phil. A mask over the face doesn’t disguise my identity. That’s just silly. Besides, who’s to say that the staff would even be wearing masks and not only the guests?”

“I’ll just make sure of that, Dan. And I know a mask isn’t magic but you’d be at the piano, on a raised platform, and I’m sorry to say most noblemen wouldn’t… as they would say, stoop so low as to talk to the staff, even the pianist. And hardly anyone knows how you look like anyway. You’re moving around the castle like a ninja most of the time.”

“The kitchen staff and maids know me,” Dan countered, but he didn’t put force behind his words.

“And they won’t be present in the Grand Hall. Only the footmen and noblemen guests will. I doubt many of those will remember you. And the king is away on business for at least another week, so he won’t even be present. It’s the perfect opportunity.”

“Your brother and Princess Cornelia has seen me. What if they realise? By the way, I might have been a bit vague when said princess asked me about me and you. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her…”

“Hey,” Phil said, stepping forward and putting a reassuring hand on Dan’s shoulder before he could think twice of it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll talk to her. I already told Martyn and he’s understands. You’re okay, Dan. We’re okay. I trust my family and Martyn trusts Cornelia so I trust her too.”

~*~

Dan sucked in a breath when Phil placed his hand on him but he was oddly grateful for the kind gesture.

His head was still spinning. He’d tried his best to argue his way out of agreeing to play at a royal engagement ball. He didn’t want to let his thoughts actually consider it a possibility. Even if they could disguise him, as Phil seemed so sure of, Dan wasn’t sure he was qualified enough. The usual pianist was one of the best in the entire country. Phil had a lot of faith in him, but what if it was misplaced?

But then he stood there talking about trust and he was going out of his way to reassure Dan that Phil’s family and future family didn’t think any less of him because of his situation.

“What if I’m not good enough?” Dan asked in a small voice, letting his weight fall slightly forward into the soft and comforting grip on his shoulder.

“I have heard you play for months, Dan. You’ve been studying and learning new songs the whole time. You just need to listen to a song a couple of times and you know all the notes. It’s like magic, even if you need time to teach your fingers to play them afterwards. You might never have gotten a proper music education but you are wonderful to listen to. I have no doubt that everyone at the ball will agree.”

“But why would they allow a nobody to play for them, even if I assume you didn’t tell them who I am?”

Phil started blushing, which did new things to Dan’s stomach. It was just a light rise of colour in the prince’s cheeks but because of his pale skin the contrast stood out starkly.

“I might have been a little screwed with the details. Said you studied aboard or something but they trust my musical judgement.”

“You can’t hold a tone for the life of you,” Dan said teasingly.

Phil looked like a kicked puppy, only clearly exaggerating it to get a rise out of Dan. It looked positively adorable with the slightly flushed cheeks.

“But you can. You are a brilliant pianist, Dan, and if you want it, you can play at the royal ball announcing my brother’s engagement to the world.”

Dan should just have said no. It was too complicated. Too many things could go wrong and Phil could be caught lying and Dan could be caught doing something personal servants certainly weren’t allowed to do.

And even if everything went perfectly smooth and Dan had a wonderful experience, it would be a one-time thing. Dan wouldn’t be able to go and play for other places. He’d still be here in the castle, tied to Phil, who had to succumb to every whim of his uncle.

But he wanted to say yes. He wanted desperately to accept the gift Phil was presenting him with. Phil had put himself on the line to make it happen, just for the chance that Dan would agree. He’d done it just because he wanted to make Dan happy. Dan had never had someone like Phil in his life before.

“When is the ball?” he asked as he tried to keep the emotion bubbling up inside of him at bay.

“In a week,” Phil said, beaming at him.

“What? Phil, how could I ever get ready in a week?” Dan said in despair.

“I’ll help you,” Phil promised and gave his shoulder a light squeeze and just like that Dan felt the nerves melt away. A tiny bit, at least.

They had a lot of things to get done.

~*~

Phil had never seen Dan so focused or determined. He practiced on the piano endlessly, and Phil brought him lunch every single day he was able. Dan looked completely in his own world.

Dan was practicing the usual ball sheet music until he could play it to perfection. However, he was horrible at actually reading notes, which meant Phil had made sure to secure recordings of the music for Dan to listen back to for most of the songs.

Seeing Dan pour himself into the task with so much passion lifted Phil’s heart and he was so happy that he’d pushed his mother to choose this theme and let him decide the pianist. The ball planning was coming along nicely too. Invitations had been sent out immediately and though the short notice a lot of people had replied when they heard that Prince Martyn’s future wife would be revealed. As Phil had predicted, the gossip started instantly and drew people in.

Phil had been in charge of getting their attire ready. He’d personally gone out and bought both his and Dan’s mask. His mother had insisted that he had a new suit refitted and Phil hadn’t resisted much. He was just so happy Dan fitted well into one of his old suits without any necessary alterations, though it had taken a lot to convince Dan to even try the clothes.

“What if I damage it, Phil? I’m wearing clothes worth more than my family would live for on a year,” Dan complained while going to tug at his collar only to freeze mid-movement and let his hand drop.

Phil hadn’t been prepared for the look of Dan in a proper fitted suit. He was gorgeous and the crisp lines made that all the more evident. Dan liked his regular clothes to be rather baggy, Phil reasoned it must be because he felt safer and able to somewhat hide in them.

The jacket fit perfectly and Phil’s pants hugged Dan’s arse like they’d sculpted after his figure. Dan looked uncomfortable in the fancy clothes.

“It’s necessary, Dan,” Phil continued. “You need to blend in. You’ll also have to allow me to straighten your hair.”

Dan pulled a pout at that but sighed and agreed.

“Only on the day and if you burn off my hair, there’ll be hell to pay,” Dan teasingly threaten.

“Oh, don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to destroy your precious hobbit hair,” Phil told him.

Dan glared at him, only to then burst into a smile when he couldn’t hold onto the fake anger anymore.

Phil was so happy he’d done this for Dan.

~*~

Dan was determined that Phil was going mad. He walked around with a permanent grin on his face. The prince was usually very chipper and friendly but it was like something had kicked it up a few notches.

He didn’t have too much time to dwell on it. He was busy learning all the songs he’d be required to play at the ball. When he thought about it too much, his hands would begin to shake, so he’d decidedly chosen not to let his mind go there.

It helped when he was sat at the piano. He knew the old grand piano so well by now and playing on her felt like coming home. In many ways, the instrument reminded Dan of Phil. They were both beautiful but not a lot of people were allowed close enough to see that. It was a privilege to be invited to come close and Dan was sort of happy that he’d ended up knowing Phil, even if he wished that it had been under different circumstances.

The night before the ball, Dan couldn’t sleep. His night terrors had been less and less frequent since he knew he’d just have to wake up and Phil would be right there, ready to take him for a walk to calm down.

But what kept him awake now were simply nerves. He couldn’t remember being this nervous in a long time. The last time he was this nervous about something had probably been when he reached his eighteenth birthday and anxiously waited to see if he’d bee offered the scholarship he’d applied for.

He hadn’t and since then he’d felt a bit fractured. It only increased with every task of demeaning work, every harsh word picking him apart, every punch thrown at him and every time someone took advantage of their power over him and his body. Being cynical and refusing to acknowledge nerves had been a way to survive before.

However, even with incident with the lord, Dan felt fairly safe here.

“You awake?” Phil asked, voice heavy with sleep. He had likely noticed Dan’s pacing back and worth. Phil drew back the covers and let his feet hit the floor while he was both rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Dan said in a whisper.

He secretly loved their moonlight walks to the garden. It felt like a different world where it didn’t feel like Phil was a prince and Dan had been thrust into the unfair system that took away his human rights.

Silently, they pulled on their robes. One day, another robe had appeared next to Phil’s usual one and Phil had offered it to Dan the next time they’d gone for a walk. Now Dan took both and offered Phil the one he usually wore and slipped the other one on.

They walked around the garden in silence and Phil didn’t even head towards the bench, so he probably sensed that Dan had one of his more restless nights and needed to walk it off rather than sit down.

On the third lap around the fountain, Phil opened his mouth.

“Is it stupid to ask whether you’re nervous?” Phil said and sounded almost bashful.

A smile found Dan’s lips. It wasn’t a stupid question, considering Dan had almost forgot how those jittery excitement nerves felt at all.

“I’m still worried that we’ll get caught, Phil. Or I’ll mess up on the keys and everyone will turn to stare at me. So many things can go wrong.”

“You’ve been practising like mad, Dan. Again, I have utmost faith in your abilities. I’m only sad that I won’t be able to talk to you during the ball.”

“Tell you what, I’ll adjust my mask with my right hand when I’m thinking of you. I might not be able to look out into the crowd much but if I do and you catch my eye, do the same to let me know that I’m not fucking up?”

Phil smiled so brightly as if Dan had just told him that his favourite author had published a new book and not that Dan simply wanted to make a secret sign between them.

“I’d love that, Dan,” Phil said and then did something rather odd. He stopped and held his hand out as for Dan to shake.

Very gradually, Phil had been allowing himself to be more tactile with Dan, though he always did it with great caution. Dan appreciated Phil being careful but he was also secretly happy that Phil could be himself and that he didn’t seem to worry that Dan would break any moment.

Dan wouldn’t break. He’d learnt how not to break or he wouldn’t have survived. But he had scars, both real and physiological ones, and Phil had slowly showed him that a man could be kind and a simple touch could just be friendly and light.

They’d never shaken hands before. Dan knew it was custom when someone made an agreement but it still felt weird. Dan had hesitated for too long and he saw Phil’s face fall slightly as the prince started to retract his hand.

Dan might have thought it an odd gesture but he knew Phil only meant for it to show their camaraderie. And he felt terrible for even bringing a fleck of doubt or sadness across Phil’s beautiful face.

He jerked his hand forward, catching Phil’s hand in a firm grip. Phil’s royal hand felt pleasantly warm, incredibly soft and most of all reassuring and just right. They shook a couple of time and then lingered with their palms pressed together.

Dan didn’t dare to look up to meet Phil’s eye but he wasn’t entirely ready to let go either.

“You will do brilliantly tomorrow, Dan. If you get nervous, look out into the crowd and find me, I’m likely to be looking at you, mesmerised with your musical talent anyway.”

Dan snorted at Phil’s lavish praise and reluctantly pulled back his hand and looked back up at Phil again.

“Thanks, Phil. Not just for that but for everything. I can’t believe you actually did this for me. I won’t ever be able to repay you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“There’s no need for repayment, Dan. You might not realise but what you’ve done for me is immeasurable.”

Phil looked so assured when he said that and Dan wanted to open his mouth and ask what exactly he’d done other than be a constant burden but he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the answer.

So he simply nodded and without another word they headed back to their chambers to get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been too long since I've written on this story and I'm running out of pre-written chapters soon. Someone send me positive vibes to get me going so I won't stress about being able to keep up the weekly updates?
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! Do you think Phil is crazy for proposing that idea? Is Dan crazy for going along with it? Will they manage to pull of Dan being a disguised pianist? The ball will be the focus of the next two chapters because I had so much to say about it and I didn't want to put out a nearly 9k chapter. Let me know your thoughts and as always, thank you for reading.
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 4th of November (WHICH IS ALSO MY BIRTHDAY! *yay*).


	14. Get Ready to Face the Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the day of the ball. Nerves were still high and Dan isn't sure that he should be doing this. Phil is more worried about the implications of what they are doing and if maybe he is going about everything the wrong way.

It was the day of the ball and when Phil woke up, he found Dan standing by the window, gazing out into the garden.

It had been around midnight when they’d gone for their walk, so they’d been back for quite a few hours. Phil wondered how long Dan had been just quietly awake. Phil stretched and yawned as he got out of bed, making sure to be noisy so Dan didn’t startle out of the deep thoughts he was having based on the thought frown on his forehead.

“Still nervous?” Phil asked and yawned another time.

“Less so now,” Dan said, his voice quiet like a whisper. “But yeah, I’m still nervous.”

Phil nodded. He wanted to tell Dan again how he had utmost faith in Dan’s piano playing abilities and the fact that their plan would work. However, he’d said it so many times now. Phil hoped that Dan knew he had his back.

Daisy brought them breakfast as usual and she was sporting a secretive smile. Phil knew her well and instantly recognised when something was up.

“What have you done, Daisy? Given me extra strong cheese for your own amusement again? This is hardly the day for me to have stomach trouble,” Phil said as he sat down across from Dan, who didn’t seem interested in eating at all.

“No,” Daisy said and rolled her eyes. “I’m just in a good mood before the ball. Is that a crime?”

“You’re never in a good mood when we host big things. In fact, you become exceedingly grumpy because it means you’ll be on your feet all day, cooking one meal after another. So, I’ll ask again, what are you smiling like that about?”

“Dan will do brilliantly tonight,” Daisy said and pulled the door open. “Good luck!”

She darted out the chambers and when the door slammed shut, Phil turned to see a worried Dan looking at him.

“She knows?” he asked.

Phil had wanted to tell Daisy, but Dan had asked him not to until after the fact. He wanted as few people as possible to know. Phil trusted Daisy not to tell anyone or give it away accidentally but it had been Dan’s choice in the end.

“Don’t look at me! I didn’t tell her. I was going to wait until after, like you asked. But it’s not much of a stretch for Daisy, you know? She stops by the library occasionally to check on me or you and you’ve been practicing the royal ballroom music for a week.”

Dan visibly pale and looked jittery and nervous like he’d done last night during their walk.

“Do you think anyone else knows too? Phil, we have to call it off!” Dan exclaimed and stood up.

~*~

Dan thought he’d been doing a good job of keeping his nerves at bay but Daisy had made him feel worried and out of control. People would figure it out.

A royal prince had allowed, more like encouraged, that his personal servant adorn a mask and play at a royal ball.

It sounded absolutely ludicrous and if Dan didn’t know a prince like Phil existed, he’d have called it bullshit.

But Phil did exist and he had put this crazy plan in motion and they were going to get caught out. And Phil would be reprimanded but Dan would be sent away. He’d be removed from Phil’s charge and send on to someone else. The thought made old trauma rear its ugly head.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Phil said and stood up and followed Dan who’d gravitated towards the window again without thinking.

“Dan, Daisy won’t say anything. You know it. You know her. I’ve seen how you’ve become friends too. She’d never say anything. And no one else will have figured it out. Trust me, we will be fine. Please breathe,” Phil said, his words coming out rapidly.

Dan took a deep breath and it helped a tiny bit with the panic but not all the thoughts.

“It’s a bad idea, Phil. I should never have agreed.”

“Hey! It was my idea and I still think it is brilliant. Don’t doubt yourself but don’t doubt me either. We’ll get through this. I can’t wait to hear you play. Don’t back out, please?”

Dan would never in his wildest dreams have imagined hearing a prince beg to him and it had happened numerous times. But Phil wasn’t really a prince in Dan’s eyes anymore. He’d been baffled at how Daisy could talk to Phil so casually, like rank and social status didn’t mean a single thing, but he knew now.

Phil had one of the highest ranks in the country but he didn’t care about it one bit. Because he shoved it away, it ceased to matter. If people in power purposely choose not to exert their power, it loses its hold.

“It will be okay, Dan. Trust me.”

“Do you promise?”

~*~

Phil shouldn’t be promising things that he didn’t know for sure but he gave Dan his word anyway.

And then they went about their day as normally as they could. The ball started in the evening and they had to pass the day until then. Every member of staff was working hard, setting up guestrooms, making food, or many of the other little behind the scenes thing that made it all work.

Dan practiced at the piano but he didn’t touch any of the usual sheet music that he’d been practicing all week. Instead, he played old favourites from his childhood or songs Phil had introduced to him in the months they’d known each other.

They had just gotten back to their chambers to get changed for the evening when Phil received word that his mother wanted to speak with him. He was hesitant to leave Dan alone but he vowed to be back swiftly.

His mother had already changed and she looked absolutely stunning. She held herself with poise and elegance and the dress was divine. Her mask matched her dress in colour and it was delicate and feathery.

“Do you like it?” she asked and did a little twirl for her song.

“Dad won’t know what hit him,” Phil responded with a smile.

“Oh, he’ll know. I’ve been leaving him breathless for decades now. But I did not call on you for compliments. I just wished to check on your wellbeing.”

“My wellbeing?” Phil asked and frowned. He’d been so caught up in helping Dan that he wasn’t even sure what she referred to do.

“You know. Your older brother is getting married. He has been the one who’s been the focus of suitors but now that will fall to you,” his mother told him gently. “Your uncle has been urging Martyn to get married for years now, and he mostly managed to escape because he was out of the country constantly. That pressure will be applied to you now, my son.”

His mother looked apprehensive, even saddened, and her expression more than her word felt like a punch in the gut. He hadn’t even given it a single thought. He knew Martyn had been travelling partly because he loved it and partly to escape their uncle’s influence. But Phil had forgotten about the suitors. His blood ran cold.

His mother pulled him into a much-needed hug, giving him comfort.

“I feel horrible for always being the one to make you remember stuff like this, my Philip. But I will admit that I was wrong about your boy.”

“Huh?”

“Dan, isn’t that his name? I was wrong about him hurting you. Would you extend my apologies to him?”

Phil just nodded. So thrown off and confused by everything.

“I’m sorry to remind you about it now but at the ball you’ll undoubtedly hear people speak of you being the next to marry. Some princesses and duchesses might even try to win your favour already.”

That was the last thing Phil wanted but he was thankful for the warning.

“I’ll be okay,” Phil said but he sounded a lot more unsure than when he’d told Dan something similar earlier.

“Go change, my little prince. I’ll see you in the ballroom.”

~*~

While Phil went to see his mother, Dan quickly went down to the kitchen to look for Daisy. He hadn’t had a chance all day but he wanted a quick word with her before he could feel completely at ease.

Janet thankfully didn’t notice him and the rest of the kitchen staff were working relentlessly and didn’t offer him a second glance. Dan found Daisy stacking up little bowls on a plate with very fancy looking food.

“Not a good time, buddy,” Daisy said when she spotted him.

Phil had been right. He and Daisy had become friends. Nothing like he and Phil had done but Dan wasn’t sure anything would ever be able to compare to whatever him and Phil had built.

“I know, but I just wanted to come by quickly. Because of what you said this morning,” Dan added in a hushed whisper.

Daisy didn’t skip a beat in her work while she answered. “I meant what I said Dan; good luck.”

“But how?” he hissed.

“You and Phil are hopeless,” she said and then lowered her voice, so only the two of them could hear. “You’ve been glued to the piano playing ballroom songs and Phil has come by almost every single day to fetch lunch for the two of personally, so you can eat in the library. I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to even have food in the library. You’re making a little rebel out of my Phil.”

Oddly, Dan felt slightly calmer now that he knew how Daisy knew. He hadn’t even thought about the lunch trays that Phil showed up with. He’d been too focused on learning the songs to perfection to notice much else.

“Hey,” Daisy said and paused her work this time. “I think the two of you are crazy but I know Phil’s kind of crazy is fun. And a blind person could see how much you love playing, so I want this for you too.”

“Thanks, Daisy,” he said, slightly taken aback by the sincerity in her voice.

“You make my idiot of a best friend happy, Dan, and you’re a great guy. Go rebel against the system together,” she said and clapped him hard on the back.

“Thanks,” Dan said and in that moment Janet spotted him, so he made a swift exit and rushed back to Phil’s chambers.

Dan had managed to change into Phil’s old suit by the time the prince returned. Phil was wearing a slightly exaggerated smile, clearly trying to mask something. It was usually Dan who stowed away feelings, so it was weird to see Phil do the same.

However, Phil hid his worries with a smile while Dan hid his with a frown. Different approaches to the same problem.

“What did your mother say?” Dan asked.

Phil sat down on the edge of his bed and looked internally conflicted.

“She hasn’t figured out that I’m…”

“No,” Phil interrupted. “Nothing like that. Just wanted to remind me of my manners and stuff like that. I’ll tell you afterwards. But she did want me to extend her apologies to you.”

“Why would she apologise to me?” Dan asked, baffled.

“On your first day here, she told me to be careful that you didn’t kill me in my sleep or something.”

Dan had been scratching the back of his head, glancing away, but he dropped his hands and started directly into Phil’s eyes.

“She thought _I_ would hurt _you_?” he asked in disbelief.

“She was just being overprotective. It’s happened before to noblemen who picked male personal servants. It’s rare but she was worried. I told her not to worry about it, even then, I think. She told me to keep you in your shackles, not to be cruel or anything. She was just worried.”

“But you took them off first chance you had,” Dan recalled.

“I did,” Phil said and smiled shyly and then seemed to get somewhat flustered. “Right, I’ll start on straightening your hair and then change myself. You look dashing in the suit, Dan. They won’t know what hit them.”

Dan let himself be distracted by Phil’s praise and instructions as they flattened his hair. After Phil changed himself, the prince found the two masks.

Phil’s was a navy blue with a design of swirls along the cheeks. Dan looked plain black, like the ones the staff would be wearing but upon closer inspection Dan saw his had the subtle swirls along the cheeks as well. On Phil’s they were more obvious, painted a slightly lighter blue than the rest and on Dan’s everything was mat black. But they undoubtedly matched.

Dan chose not to comment on it but he was thankful for the mask hiding away his cheeks, which might have been flushing slightly.

“Take a look at yourself, Dan,” Phil said and turned him towards the full-length mirror.

Dan had been too scared to look before, even when they were trying the suit on. He trusted Phil’s opinion more than he did his own.

He looked like a different person upon first glance. The suit was black and his shirt underneath was white. His features successfully hidden behind the mask that went from his hairline to the bottom of his cheeks. His hair was straightened into submission and it made him look sharper somehow.

“See? You’d have to get very close to know it’s you. You’ll be fine, Dan,” Phil said and walked up behind Dan.

Normally a man coming up behind him would have made him scoot forward or cower but he stood tall even as he felt Phil less than a foot from his back. Phil looked dashing in his new dark blue suit; so much that Dan might get breathing problems if he looked too much.

He indulged to stare at the right in the mirror. Two masked men in elegant suits with matching fringes.

Phil placed a careful hand on Dan’s shoulder and smiled at their reflection together. The smile made his mask scoot up a tiny bit and it looked adorable.

“You ready to face the music?” Phil asked and his smile morphed into a grin at his joke.

Dan huffed out a silent laugh. “Remember our secret sign with the masks?”

Phil nodded.

“Then I’m ready.”

~*~

Getting Dan out of the castle dressed to the nines proved much easier than Phil had thought. They just walked side by side to the main reception area, which was almost finished setting up, and then strolled outside of the main gates.

They made it just in the nick of time before the guards had been instructed to close the doors for anyone without an invitation. Phil wasn’t sure if his mask hid that he was the prince and the guard didn’t realise or they simply stopped caring when the youngest of the princes came and went.

Dan and Phil kept walking until they were out of sight from the castle and somewhere without people. Then Phil came to a stop. Dan would have to head to the service entrance to arrive as the pianist. Phil handed over the official invitation to play the royal ball, which he’d need to get in.

Dan scanned it. “My name is James Edan? Phil!”

“It’s the best I could do, Dan. Okay? Mum asked me suddenly and I hadn’t thought about it at all. Edan is actually a name and it’s so close to your real name that if someone says it you won’t be thrown. People will undoubtedly address you by your last name, so I think I did rather well being put on the spot.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Dan mused and started at the paper again. “It’s just… James is actually my real middle name.”

Phil suddenly felt horrible. He didn’t know Dan’s middle name! What a horrible friend he was. Come to think of it, he didn’t even know Dan’s last name.

“Oh… what’s your full name? I can’t believe I don’t know. I should have asked before.”

“No, it’s fine, Phil. It’s just I stopped saying it when this whole thing happened. I didn’t… It felt like I wasn’t my own person anymore. I was just Dan, personal servant. I don’t like telling people my actual name, because it doesn’t matter.”

“I didn’t mean to… you don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to,” Phil rushed to say.

“But that’s the thing, Phil. I don’t mind with you. I guess it’s just old habits. But my full birth name is Daniel James Howell.”

Phil said it out loud. He felt a bit foolish that he hadn’t known before now. He should have asked. He shouldn’t have been so caught up in his own business that he hadn’t considered to ask Dan for his name.

“I can’t believe I never asked for your name.”

“You did, when we first met, Phil. I only said Dan. Don’t worry about it,” Dan said and then looked behind Phil where carriages came by, heading towards the castle.

“I have to go, Phil. Time’s running out.”

“Right,” he acknowledged and then remembered he was about to leave Dan out, here far enough away from the castle that he could just make a run for it. Personal servants were usually chipped and Phil had seen the scar on Dan’s neck but it wasn’t much to hold him if he truly wanted to go away.

Should Phil be encouraging Dan make a run for it instead? Would he be able to have a life if he’d have to stay on the run? Would it be a life worth leading or would the potential punishment if they caught him be too much?

Phil knew what it would do to him if Dan ran away. He’d be seen as incompetent at best and at worst his uncle would say that his incompetence was grounds enough to kick him out of succession to the throne. But honestly, if Dan could truly get a better life by running away, then Phil was willing to risk it.

“Dan,” Phil called out softly, to Dan who was already turning back towards the castle. “Do you… want to run away instead?”

“What?” Dan asked and frowned. “Phil, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Dan walked back toward him, looking positively breath taking in that suit and the soft evening light. There were so many places around town that Phil wanted to show Dan but he wasn’t even allowed to be out here without security. Furthermore, people would have heard about his and Dan’s situation and he didn’t want subject Dan to the scrutiny.

“Would you want me to go?” Dan asked, and sounded suddenly insecure.

“No! Of course not. I can’t imagine how… without you… I’d… Never mind, no, I don’t want that, Dan. But I just want you to remind you of your options, you know?”

Dan smiled at him, bright and full of life and he looked entirely different from when Phil had first seen him and it wasn’t just the fancy getup.

“I’ll _stay_ ,” he said with emphasis. “Besides, I have people to play for, remember? I’ll see you at the castle.”

With that, Dan set off, determination in his steps and Phil just stood there and watched him merge into the crowd of people.

Dan had sounded utterly surprised, like he hadn’t even considered bolting for one second. Phil didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing to be honest. If he’d been in Dan’s position would he have been focusing on escaping? The system was tricky and there was no way out of it officially. No one could release a personal servant, well they could but it just meant the next person that strolled by could claim them.

The only way to truly get out would be if the law were revoked. Phil pondered that as he made his way back to the castle himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave it there but I can tell you the next one will be a long one and I don't think that it will disappoint. But I hope maybe the scene outside of the castle helped satisfy you for this week. I actually loved that part because it shows Dan choosing staying over a chance at fleeing (even if it would be extremely difficult with the chip but still...). 
> 
> And thank you very much for the early birthday wishes. As this goes up, it is my birthday! I'm turning 23 (if any of you were wondering). As I'm scheduling this, I'm sat in my home onesie after having stuffed my face with pancakes and opened presents. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 11th of November.


	15. Play to Your Heart's Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, time for the ball. It wasn't something Dan would ever had dreamed to be possible after he fell victim to the law at eighteen and lost his human rights. Phil had somehow made the impossible possible.

Dan found the main service entrance easily and the footman manning the door let him in after a quick glance at his papers. He worried that he might ask him to lift his mask but he just stepped aside and let Dan go inside.

A slightly older footman steered Dan towards the Grand Hall. He hadn’t been near in since his first day in the castle. They came to halt at a small door, which took a bit of a nudge to get open and Dan put two and two together as they walked into the corner of the Grand Hall.

That was the door Phil had come tumbling in on the very first day that they’d meet. The place looked vastly different from then. But he hadn’t really taken a moment to appreciate the architecture while being dragged around in shackles. He hadn’t been focused on anything then other than sending a little prayer that his new one wouldn’t be too horrible.

He’d made the silent prayer with no real hope, especially after seeing the look of the noblemen. But Phil had come stumbling in and Dan couldn’t have gotten a better deal than the kind and gentle prince who refused to abuse his power.

The piano was indeed on a raised platform and it felt odd that it been just hours since he’d sat on the same bench playing on its keys. Guests weren’t quite arriving yet but they would be any minute. Dan would play in segments but it would total up to five hours or more but he was prepared.

He straightened his back after he sat down and let his finger fly over the familiar keys.

It had only been a few months since he’d felt hopeless and dead inside. Now, he was playing at a grand piano for royal and noble guests instead. How the world could turn around.

But Dan was still technically a personal servant, even if it was all too easy to forget when he hung out with Phil. He was still bound by a horrible law made by that tyrant of a king. Dan was so happy he wouldn’t be in attendance tonight.

He focused on his playing and tuned out everything else. It was a relief to just play and not dwell too much on how fucked up his life had become, even if it had been seeing better times recently.

~*~

Phil could have sworn that Dan played the intro melody differently than the usual royal pianist. It sounded softer somehow and Phil might have rushed forward a tiny bit in the line of people waiting to get in.

He should actually have been announced but he’d refused that like he usually did. He just wanted to be inconspicuous in the crowd. And thanks to it being a masquerade someone couldn’t as easily spot him.

Phil liked how the masked faces meant that rank didn’t matter as much. Everyone here should just have a good time and not worry about sucking up to those above them or trying to assert their position to those below them.

The all the guests, except Martyn, arrived within the first hour. It was full of dull small talk from Phil’s perspective, while he kept glancing towards Dan at the piano. He looked almost eternal up there on a raised platform, bathed in a soft spotlight.

Then finally Martyn made his grand appearance. Everyone clapped and he bowed excessively even throwing in some air kisses towards groups of young ladies. Phil had spotted Cornelia early on, in a green dress with a beautiful gold mask. Her red hair made her quite easy to spot but he’d refrained from seeking her out. If the prince’s brother purposely sought out a princess, many would be able to make the connection instantly.

“As you’re all aware,” Martyn said, “I have been abroad for quite some time. And I have found myself my future princess on my travels. I have brought her home to introduce her to all of you. However, it would be too dull to just tell you. Instead, I urge you to guess away and hand in a slip of paper with the name of the girl you think I intend to marry. By the end of the night, all will be revealed. Until then, excuse me while I dance with as many young ladies confuse you as much as possible.”

Martyn did another bow as the crowd erupted into laughter. Phil could see the happiness radiating off his brother. Martyn was much more in his element in situations like this. It was a good thing that it was him and not Phil that would likely be the next king out of the two of them.

Phil took a moment to look towards Dan who’d stopped playing for Martyn’s speech. Phil reached up to adjust his mask slightly with his right hand. Dan did the same a moment later and Phil wondered why he hadn’t gotten masks that covered their mouths too so people wouldn’t see him randomly smile like an idiot.

“Prince Philip, isn’t it?” a feminine voice asked, annoyingly pulling Phil’s focus from Dan.

“Tonight I am no one, miss,” Phil replied but did a slight bow of the head anyway.

“You are rather tall, my prince,” she said, clearly thinking herself clever as she gave her name and rank. A duchess and quite beautiful too but Phil wasn’t even interested in the least. He talked to her for the minimum amount of time he could without being rude.

However, once he escaped another young single lady found him. A lot of his evening continued like that. It seemed everyone else also thought that Martyn’s impending marriage meant that Phil would follow soon after. It made Phil’s toes curl.

Later, any of these girls’ families could approach the king and ask to be Phil’s future wife. The thought made Phil’s stomach turn. Thankfully, they would also have to get approval from his father but there was only so much the crown prince could do.

He took comfort in Dan’s music and he felt a bit crestfallen whenever Dan took a brief break according to the schedule. His father found him right after Dan had stopped playing one time and Phil was trying to get eye contact with Dan to do their little mask signal again. He’d just escaped the clutches of a particular persistent and arrogant young lady.

“Philip.”

His father’s voice made him instantly stop trying to make eye contact with Dan across the room. He felt like a teenager caught with someone in his chambers. He secretly hoped his dad didn’t have the same feeling.

“I see you have all the young ladies’ attention, my boy,” his father said.

“Yes,” Phil said hesitantly and scratched the back of his head. He knew that his father wanted him to marry for love but he also wanted Phil to choose someone of appropriate status. The fact that having to pick someone to marry made Phil think of familiar brown eyes wasn’t any good.

His father was a man of few words and just looked straight at his son, urging him to talk with his gaze alone.

“Mum did mention it to me. I forgot about marriage suitors and all that. And I know you and my uncle will be the ones to pick for me, at least if I don’t come forward with a very good alternative. But I’m not sure I’m ready,” Phil added the last bit in a whisper.

“I will be able to block my brother as long as I am alive, Philip. I will try to find you a lovely princess, Philip. Unless you have someone specific in mind that could work?”

Phil hung his head slightly. This wasn’t the place for this discussion but his father looked better out here in the Grand Hall, dressed up. A lot of days, getting out of bed was a struggle for him but he’d clearly rested a lot before and used determination to stay on his feet for a long time for his oldest son’s engagement ball.

Phil just shook his head and his eyes drifted back towards the piano and Dan, as if looking at him could solve all his problems or at least keep them at bay.

“We can stall for a couple of years, Philip. Worry not,” his father said to reassure him.

“It’s an excellent piano player you found,” his mother’s voice suddenly complimented as she strolled up next to her husband and took his arm.

Phil noticed how his father instantly relaxed and took support in his wife’s steady stance. Hardly anyone knew about the crown prince’s health problems.

“I’m glad. I’ll be sure to send your compliments,” Phil said.

Everyone thought that Phil’s parents would be the next ruling pair, thanks to the ten-year age difference between the two brothers and on account of the current king’s appearance. He looked like the one who might collapse and die of a heart attack but it was the other way around.

The only who knew that, however, his immediate family and Daisy and her dad, who was his doctor. On second thought, Cornelia probably knew now too. Oh, and Phil had told Dan as well.

But it was still a secret to the public and it would remain that way.

Phil knew he probably shouldn’t have told Dan. But he’d asked him if he could keep the secret and he’d promised to do it, so Phil had trusted him. He hadn’t been proved wrong in his trust in Dan yet and he didn’t think it was going to happen at all.

~*~

Playing the grand piano for a crowd was nothing like Dan had imagined. It was simultaneously wonderful and horrible.

Wonderful because he could feel the music he and the piano produced together lift up spirits and shape the evening. Horrible too because he knew this was his one shot at this and his nerves constantly tried to get the best of him.

He’d used the sign nine times with Phil by the time the evening was drawing to an end. There was just one more song left. It was the final song where Martyn would go to his future bride and ask her to dance. It wasn’t a classic ballroom dance song that everyone expected. Rather Phil had figured out what was the couple’s song – a much more recent song compared to the classic ball dance songs – and asked Dan to learn it. He’d done so happily and thought it would be a nice surprise from Phil.

Everyone had placed their bets on whom it would be and there was a lot of whispering as Martyn walked to the middle of the floor and asked the crowd to quiet down. Dan thought the whole thing a little over the top and ridiculous but he’d kept an eye out for Cornelia’s curly locks and she’d seem to be having a good time.

Phil hadn’t. He’d been talking to loads of different people, usually young ladies in beautiful gowns, but only briefly before going on his way. Dan wasn’t sure what to make of that but most of the time when he looked up, Phil would make eye contact and tug gently on his mask.

When Cornelia strolled across the floor into Martyn’s arms, aww’s could be heard around the room as the couple shared their first public kiss. Dan turned his focus back on the keys and started playing the song he’d just learnt days ago.

Martyn and Cornelia’s full attention went towards him and the piano, as did many others as a reaction. Then Martyn burst into laughter and pointed towards Phil who just smiled and shrugged.

Then they started dancing and Dan focused on not letting his now tired and stiff fingers make any mistakes. By the time the song was finished, Dan spotted Phil right down by the platform, though he faced outward and not towards him. However, with the last note played, people started clapping and Phil turned to look right at him and clapped loudly while wearing a proud smile.

Phil mimicked bowing and Dan noticed all the people staring at him. He got to his feet unsteadily and did an awkward bow. People started thinning out and Dan was ready to head back and out of the door when someone called his name, or rather they called his fake name.

“Mr Edan, do hold up a minute?” said a feminine voice that sounded vaguely familiar. He turned back to find Cornelia looking up at him. He felt frozen and exposed but she just smiled warmly at him.

“Thank you for that song,” she said.

“Do not thank me, miss. It is Phi-Prince Philip you should thank for that,” he said and did a bow for good measure. He wanted to bolt out of there.

Phil strolled up next to Cornelia.

“Oh! When talking about the sun,” she mused and pulled Phil into a hug. “Thank you for making our first dance to that song.”

“Of course,” Phil responded. “You and Martyn deserved that to be your moment no matter how much the old ladies scowled at the choice.”

Cornelia laughed, loudly, and Dan took in her beauty once more. Martyn was a lucky guy and she didn’t act anything like a princess either. Perhaps there was a rare breed of royals that Dan just kept running into.

Dan still wanted to walk away but Martyn came jogging over to plant a quick kiss on his future bride’s temple.

“I have to go say goodbye, but thanks for the song, Phil. And you played wonderfully, mister, and without as many breaks as the normal pianist. He might have competition.”

With that Martyn jogged away as fast as he’d arrived. Cornelia looked longingly after him with a fond smile on her lips.

“I better go stand by his side. He’s so hyped up he might accidentally offend someone,” she said and made her way after a little curtsey.

Dan breathed a little easier when it was him and Phil next to the platform with the piano.

“You did it,” Phil whispered as he leaned a little closer. “You were brilliant. Just like I told you.”

Dan was too distracted by Phil’s close proximity to notice that Phil’s mother was making her way across the room.

“Mum,” Phil said suddenly and Dan wanted to be sucked up by the ground.

Phil’s mother was stunning and she had an air of confidence around her. She extended her hand in a soft movement and Dan wasn’t sure if she expected him to kiss it or whatever.

“Mr Edan has been aboard for too long,” Phil was sudden apologising on his behalf. “Excuse his manners.”

The crown princess let her hand drop. “You speak as if you know each other, Philip. I was not aware.”

Dan hoped he didn’t look as much as a deer caught in the headlights as he felt.

“We corresponded back and forth this week,” Phil quickly offered. “We had to plan the song for Martyn and Cornelia and stuff.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I’m happy my son called for you, Mr Edan. It was a pleasure to hear you play. And you played the piano beautifully. My mother in law used to say it was a tricky old piano to play but you seemed completely at ease with the keys. Wonderful job.”

“Thank you,” Dan managed to respond.

It was surreal to have someone like her talk to him in such friendly terms. Dan wondered what she would think if she knew the truth. Phil seemed adamant that his family, obviously excluding his uncle, didn’t care about status at all. But it might have been a different thing when confronted with it. Dan still couldn’t quite grasp how Phil’s mother could think that Dan, a personal servant, would be capable of hurting Phil.

“I’ll trust Philip to see to your payment,” she said and smiled gently.

“Of course, mother,” Phil nodded.

“Off you go then,” Phil’s mother urged.

“Out the service entrance?” Phil questioned hesitantly.

“Like you haven’t done it before, my dear. Just go quietly,” she said with a gleam in her eye.

~*~

Phil felt like he was just a bundle of nerves as he walked through the small door out of the Grand Hall. It was a very significant door for the two of them. It was the one Phil had mistaken for the back entrance to the library one fateful morning.

He wouldn’t have been able to foresee that he’d be walking through the same door months later with Dan who’d just played for everyone at the royal ball announcing his brother’s engagement. It felt completely surreal.

Phil barked out a laugh when the door closed behind them and instead of startling, Dan laughed with him as well. His laughter was loud and boisterous and uninhibited and Phil loved it more than he could explain. Hearing Dan laugh surely had to be one of his favourite things.

“I can’t believe I did that,” Dan muttered under his breath. “And I met your mother, and your brother and your sister in law! Well, I met Martyn and Cornelia before but still. What’s with the whole people won’t talk to the pianist spiel you gave me?”

“I said the noblemen wouldn’t give you a second glance and for most part they didn’t,” Phil said and refrained from noting how he had noticed a couple of people casting lingering gazes in Dan’s direction. Phil didn’t particularly blame them. Dan had looked gorgeous – still did in fact – but it wouldn’t do him any good to know that someone was ogling at him.

“But your family did,” Dan commented.

“They did but my mother always hated all of the rules that came from ranks. She didn’t give a damn about what anyone’s status is. She taught the same mentality to Martyn and I. And my father, well, he’s just a very reserved man but he shares her opinion.”

“And they treated me so nicely, Phil. I haven’t felt like that for a long time,” Dan said and Phil’s chest fell for a moment before he continued speaking. “Other than with you and Daisy, obviously. But tonight with your family or the random people that walked by the piano in the breaks and complimented by playing. Phil, I forgot what that was like.”

Phil’s heart was breaking at Dan’s admission. They needed to get somewhere more private than a deserted corridor that could bring someone from just around the corner.

“Let’s go back and change, yeah?” Phil asked and Dan nodded, still looking like he was caught up in his own thoughts.

Most of the staff was focused on the guests leaving or waiting on the ones that were staying overnight. They made it back to Phil’s room with too much trouble.

Dan started ranting the moment Phil closed the door behind them. Phil pulled his mask off as did Dan and Phil didn’t want to admit how nice it was to be able to see his face again after it had been hid behind that mask all night.

“It’s just… I’ve dreamed of doing something like that since I was a little boy,” Dan said, tugging impatiently at his tie, which didn’t budge much. “I have always wanted to play for people. And for so long I thought I wasn’t good enough but having practiced at that piano, your grandmother’s piano, it just felt like coming home,” he ran his hands frantically though his hair, thoroughly ruffling it, before trying his tie again. “Damn, tie!”

“Here, let me,” Phil said and reached out. When Phil’s hands caught the tie, Dan’s breath caught and Phil wanted to retract his hands but he kept them fixed on the tie.

Instead of retreating, like he normally would, Phil spoke in an even voice. It caught up with him how it dangerous it might feel for Dan to have someone have their hands on something that was wrapped around his neck but Phil didn’t want to back down.

“You okay, Dan? If you want me to let go, just say the word,” Phil promised.

Dan had been glancing off to the side since he froze but now he lifted his head to meet Phil’s eyes. Phil hadn’t realised how close they were standing. No wonder that Dan seized up.

Dan looked a tad uncertain but then smiled ever so slightly.

“Please help me off with the damned tie, it’s been bothering me for hours,” Dan said when he found his voice.

Phil loosed it carefully and finally pulled it over Dan’s head. Dan’s fingers instantly went to unbutton his shirt.

“Fuck, I don’t know how you wear clothes like this on a regular basis,” Dan complained, as his fingers swiftly worked on the buttons.

Phil chuffed out a fond laugh. “I’m not very happy with it either,” he said and pulled off his own tie and put his jacket back on the hanger.

He turned around to take Dan’s suit jacket; he wasn’t prepared for the sight that met him. Dan had unbuttoned his shirt all the way, exposing a good stripe vertically of his skin. Dan’s hair was easily getting back to its natural curly state by the distress of Dan putting his hands through it. And those suit pants were hugging his thighs and arse while Dan was just wearing a happy smile.

It took Phil a good few seconds to notice that Dan was still talking.

“- and I couldn’t believe it. Like, they actually wanted to know if I had played at the theatre last month. As if that could happen,” Dan continued and shrugged off both his jacket and shirt in one go. Phil saw outlines of multiple scars and he suddenly felt horribly ashamed of the less than pure thoughts his mind was coming up with at the moment. “I just told them that I… Phil? Why are you looking like that?” Dan asked.

Phil averted his gaze to the floor and cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I… You… Shirt,” Phil choked out.

~*~

Dan hadn’t realised that he’d been stripped off clothes, which was actually a somewhat pleasant surprise. He’d gotten used to never undress with other people unless they made him but here he was chatting away and pulling off his shirt in front of Phil without a second thought.

Sure, he was still hopped up on the post-adrenalin of his performance but it still spoke volumes of his trust towards Phil. By the time he’d caught Phil’s eyes, they’d shifted from desire to shame.

Dan remembered that his scars must be on full display. He usually didn’t think about them too much, with most of them on his back, torso and shoulders and they easy to hide away. But knowing he was exposing them to Phil as well, he suddenly felt vulnerable in another way.

“Sorry, I didn’t…” Dan muttered and swiftly handed off the jacket and shirt to Phil’s half out held hand. He darted to the closet and quickly pulled a jumper over his head.

He had a proper wardrobe by now as Phil would sometimes just send for clothes “to himself” but then give them to Dan. They could easily share sizes.

“No, I’m sorry,” Phil said, still keeping his eyes averted.

Dan had been changing in the ensuite for most parts unless Phil hadn’t been present. He’d just been so eager to get out of his uncomfortable clothes that he didn’t think about it. He thought back to when Phil had stripped of in front of him on their first day and how it had startled him that Phil would do it so casually.

“I’m decent again,” Dan said when he’d swapped the suit pants for sweatpants.

Phil finally looked at him again. Dan could see the question on Phil’s lips and he had questions of his own. Before Phil had looked absolutely horrified by himself, he’d looked… interested.

Dan wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that but surprisingly, it didn’t bring up the disgust and urge to vomit that those looks directed at him normally did. Dan plopped down on the sofa that served as his bed and faced away while Phil got changed.

“Can I ask?” Phil asked after they’d both crawled under their respective covers.

Dan hesitated. “If I can ask one question as well,” he said eventually.

“That’s fair,” Phil hummed. “And remember, no obligation to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, Dan. Okay?”

“Okay,” Dan said. He knew what Phil’s question would be and it would be uncomfortable but he might push past it anyway. Phil was so open with Dan and Dan hated how he always stopped himself from sharing some parts of his life with Phil.

To be fair, they had very different lives. Phil didn’t have as dark experiences as Dan did. He did not want to bring down Phil or make him worry, more than he already did.

“Are the scars from different ones? Like was it from all eight or was someone particularly…”

Dan waited to see if Phil would finish the sentence but he didn’t seem to want to. Dan could understand why. What word could Phil use to describe it that wouldn’t be horrible?

“It was mainly number seven. Some before took advantage before but nothing like that guy. Kept me for a year, trying to “break me” – that was his thing or something,” Dan spoke somewhat monotonic. He couldn’t let his mind drift back to that time but he could address it more clinically.

Phil didn’t say anything and Dan couldn’t blame him. What could he say? “I’m sorry some people are twisted and evil? And that my uncle is one of those people?” Nah, Dan didn’t expect a response. But he wanted to reassure Phil.

“It’s in the past, Phil. The person from before I came here, a woman, she takes in someone and how to say it? Fix them up? She was quite nice considering I was a mess when she took me on. Until she sold me off to the highest bidder, obviously.”

“It’s vile,” Phil spoke and he sounded full of rage and hatred. He sounded absolutely furious. It was the kind of anger that Dan had learnt to be very afraid of but he wasn’t with Phil. Phil wouldn’t turn it towards him. But his instincts still started the alarm bells inside of his head.

“It is,” Dan agreed, in a much calmer done. “But you can’t change the past, Phil.”

“No,” Phil said and Dan got the feeling there was a silent “but” hanging after his word.

Trying to shift the topic to one that was admittedly also very sensitive, Dan opened his mouth again.

“Can I ask you something? Just don’t be weird about it? I’d just like to know,” Dan said.

It was probably a bad idea to ask now. They’d just pulled off their piano scheme and Dan was riding on a high, even after talking about his scars, which was his least favourite subject. Perhaps, because it had been such a good night otherwise, it didn’t feel as horrible.

“Of course. Always,” Phil replied.

~*~

Phil was still fuming internally. He hadn’t really gotten too good a look at Dan’s scars but there had been burns, and marks from something like whips. Some of the cuts even looked so fine as if a knife made them. And that was only what was still visible after Dan’s body had time to regenerate everything it possibly could.

“You don’t have to answer either, if you don’t want to,” Dan said.

Phil smiled at that and it made some of his anger fall away. He was still furious at the man who’d done that to Dan and he was likewise furious at his uncle for allowing it to happen. But Dan was here today, he’d survived, and he was becoming more and more alive with every passing day.

He’d looked magnificent up on the stage. He’d held himself with confidence and his talent had captivated so many people. How Dan hadn’t won the musical scholarship that could have saved him from this life, Phil would never understand.

“It’s a bit awkward,” Dan added.

“Just spit it out, Dan,” Phil said, though he found the hesitance quite adorable.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’d just like to know – if you’re comfortable telling me – whether you’re attracted to me?”

Shit, Phil cursed in his mind and possibly under his breath.

He hadn’t been expecting that question. Not at all. He honestly didn’t think Dan wanted to know. To be honest, he always thought that Dan secretly knew because Phil was sure he was radiating love eyes sometimes, even if all his words stayed strictly platonic.

“Do you actually want to know that question, Dan?” Phil asked carefully and he was thankful that he was staring at his celling from under his covers and not asking it to Dan’s face.

The silence felt heavy and crushing.

“I didn’t for a long time,” Dan confessed. “But I know you now, Phil. I know you’d never ever do anything to me with my consent, right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t!” Phil quickly confirmed. “And Dan if I’ve done something to suggest otherwise, I…”

“No,” Dan interrupted, “don’t worry. You haven’t. But just now, you reacted like you were ashamed. And if you’re struggling with your sexuality or whatever, I just wanted to tell you that it’s okay.”

Phil was completely baffled by Dan’s statement. Here Dan was, so cold to strangers and flinching away at the tiniest sign of violence and he wanted to assure Phil it was okay for a guy to be attracted to guys.

Phil’s heart felt warm all over. Dan was so considering when it came down to it. He knew that Phil would have to marry a princess eventually, so it was natural leap to assume that Phil might depress any attraction he felt towards guys.

It was so damn touching and Phil wished he could answer it without confessing he specifically found Dan attractive, but he deserved an honest answer.

“I know that, Dan, but thank you. It’s not something I’ve spent too long thinking about because I’ll have to marry a princess eventually but I’m not ashamed of liking guys. And to answer your question… yeah, I do find you… attractive. But my promise still stands. I would never put my hands on you like that.”

“I know, Phil,” Dan said without any hesitation. “Thanks for answering and I’m glad you’re not ashamed of how you feel.”

It occurred to Phil that he didn’t even know if Dan liked boys. After all the traumas, he might not ever allow himself to feel that, even if he did at one point. It didn’t really matter though and Phil had already poked into Dan’s private business with his question about the scars.

“And Dan?” Phil asked.

~*~

Dan wasn’t sure we could handle any more confessions and secrets aired tonight.

“Yes?” he said anyway.

“You played wonderfully tonight. And I’ll make you a bank account and put the money for the performance on it.”

“What?” Dan asked and shot up from his sofa. What was Phil on about?

“You did work, Dan. And thus, you’ll be paid for it. I know you probably don’t have an account, so I’ll create one in my name or we could send it to someone else if you’d like.”

Dan’s mind was still catching up to the fact that Phil intended to pay him. Legally, personal servants couldn’t get paid and they just had to do whatever work they were told to do. They weren’t allowed to make money, because that meant they might eventually be able to buy their freedom. If Dan would be getting the normal fee for the royal pianist, then that would be a lot of money.

“How much is it?” Dan asked hesitantly.

Phil said a number that made Dan’s head spin. How was that a real thing? If he’d had just tripled that money when he’d turned eighteen, he would have been safe.

“You can’t be serious, Phil.”

“Deadly, Dan. It’s your money. You earned it.”

Dan shook his head and let his body fall heavily onto the soft sofa cushions.

“It’s been a very long day,” Dan muttered quietly.

“You’re right, let’s sleep but I do mean it, Dan. The money is yours,” Phil said and yawned. “I better say goodnight now, I don’t think I can stay away for much longer.”

“’Night,” Dan whispered and sure enough, Phil was snoring just minutes later.

Dan was extremely tired but his head was also spinning. For the first time in three years, he’d have money to his name.

And he was the charge of someone who found him attractive but would never force himself on Dan. His life was still shit sometimes, on account of being shaped by the unjust law that took away his right, but things were certainly much different from a year ago when he was cowering in a corner, terrified to be hit or abused.

Restlessly, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is finally the end of the ball! Hopefully it didn't disappoint? It's a long one, so I hope that makes up for the wait at least a little bit. I really like the tenderness and growing trust between the boys that I got to show in this chapter and Dan made it through without being recognised. As always, I would love to know your thoughts.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes! I haven't replied to comments yet because I've unfortunately gotten pneumonia which means I constantly wake myself up coughing in the night and thus don't really function optimally at the moment. But I will go back and reply because you all left so wonderful commnets (both about the chapter and birthday wishes). Please do keep the comments coming - I'll reply to everything when I find the time and energy but I prioritised proof-reading and uploading this chapter with my limited energy. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 18th of November.


	16. A Wedding and A Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King demanded that Martyn and Cornelia married within a month, which meant everything had to be prepared in a rush. Dan and Phil wasn't too keen on all the wedding talk going around for different reasons but both hid it. However, at the wedding reception, one speech would reveal devastating consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you love this story, please read the note at the end about phanfic awards

Phil had been so worried that Dan would begin to act different around him after the confession. He thought back to when Dan would flinch away from him when they first met. He remembered the fear and hopelessness in the brunet’s eyes that had slowly begun to give away to joy and light.

What if Dan suddenly thought that Phil was just like everyone else he’d met? Would Dan be wary of him again? Phil remembered the feel of Dan’s calculating eyes on him, clearly trying to figure out _when_ and not if Phil would turn against his word.

Phil wasn’t sure he could live like that, not after having become friends with Dan and earned his trust. Dan had insisted that he still trusted Phil but when Phil woke the following morning, he felt like it had been a mistake to tell Dan the truth.

However, all that doubt evaporated when Dan acted just like he normally would. There was even a little more spring in his step but Phil knew that was likely because he was still happy from the performance.

But Dan didn’t stare at him with cold and calculating eyes. He smiled brightly, which made his dimples pop out.

Phil was so thankful for the normalcy. There was a little voice in the back of his mind that was a tiny bit disappointed. It was almost non-existent, however, because Phil knew it was just a farfetched dream that could never come to be. Him and Dan were friends and nothing more. Phil had promised him that and he was a man of his word.

The castle wasn’t back to normal nor was the city around it. The upcoming royal wedding was on everyone’s lips. Many had been surprised at pairing. Cornelia’s kingdom Bravian was a rather faraway country and it had a history of war with the Lester’s homeland.

It had been hundreds of years but they had been on opposite sides in a Great War, which automatically made some hate her. Phil wasn’t worried too much about it. Cornelia was absolutely lovely and she would make a great future queen, as would Martyn be a brilliant king.

Phil felt so happy on their behalf, even if he tried to stay out of the wedding planning as much as possible.

The king had been offended that they had held an engagement ball without his presence but Phil’s mother had quickly put him back in his place. The two of them both knew she and her husband would never become the rulers, so she had more leeway than her sons did. And Phil knew that both of the Lester brothers had been interested in pursuing his mother, despite her relatively low status. The King still held a soft spot for her, however much he resented her for choosing his younger brother.

But as a compromise, the King insisted that the wedding take place in just a month, which was no real time to plan a royal wedding. But it had been agreed upon to appease the King.

Martyn and Cornelia took the news well enough. Martyn had likely warned his future wife about his uncle. And they had travelled together for nearly five months before returning home.

It was probably longer than Phil would know his future bride, which at this point looked like it would be an arranged marriage, unless he put someone suitable forward and got his uncle’s approval.

Phil tried not to think about it too much. He fell back into his daily routine with Dan and he revelled in how easy it was. Martyn was mostly too caught up in the wedding planning to see him much but it felt nice to have his older brother home again.

Dan still played the piano a lot and Phil studied the new faraway look that took place in Dan’s eyes. It was a longing.

There had always been a longing when Dan sat down to play the piano. Phil knew he thought about a simpler time when he was just a big kid learning to play piano in an old pub. It reminded him of a time before things had gone so horribly wrong for him. But now there was also a longing for a future that Dan knew he’d never be able to have.

Phil wanted so desperately to give it to him but he knew that wasn’t possible.

~*~

It was easy to fall back into their old routine and Dan appreciated that. He could feel that the air between them had been on the pinnacle of changing but Dan had pulled it back into the familiar.

He tried not to put too much weight on Phil’s confession or dwell too much on his own budding feelings for the prince. It wasn’t appropriate and Phil would never agree to anything between them as long as Dan was tied in invisible shackles.

So Dan played the piano and pretended that all the wedding planning wasn’t tugging at his heartstrings.

He would never be able to settle down and marry someone. He’d never be a free man again. Personal servants didn’t get to fall in love and get married. So he pushed down the longing feelings inside of him.

He wanted to play again. He wanted to feel the energy of a room enraptured in his music again. It had been exhilarating but Dan was aware that it was a one-time thing. It had been a precious gift but it wouldn’t be able to happen again.

So he savoured the memory instead. The way his fingers had floated across the keys. The way he would just have had to glance up and Phil would be right there to reassure him with their secret sign. The way everyone had treated him like a proper human and not something on the bottom of their shoe.

It had been a fairy-tale night. But make-believe couldn’t last.

He was still quite happy here. He did the odd job around the castle, on Daisy’s request, or hung out with his best friend. Phil seemed a little affected by all the wedding talk as well and Dan could understand why.

Days became weeks all too quickly for Dan’s liking and soon it was the day before the wedding. It was odd how time sometimes flew here, when he was happy and relaxed in Phil’s company. Some periods of the last three years, seconds had felt like minutes, minutes like hours and hours like days. It had been horrible and Dan was sure he’d mentally lost more than a year to that horrible man.

“Are they doing the whole sleeping in separate rooms?” Dan asked Phil as they got settled in the night before the big day.

It wouldn’t be a big day for Dan. He’d just spend it hiding out in their chambers avoiding all the attraction it brought to the castle.

The couple would get married in the Grand Church in the city but the Grand Hall at the castle would hold their reception as per tradition. And there was no way that Dan could play as a masked pianist again.

“No,” Phil said and chuckled. “Martyn suggested it because it’s tradition but Cornelia just leaned over and kissed him, deeply, even in front of company. He didn’t open his mouth after that. She’s not too keen on all the stupid traditions.”

“Hmm,” Dan hummed in response and wondered if Martyn and Cornelia might repent the law when they became king and queen one day. Phil hadn’t said anything about it but it probably wasn’t too good to think that far into the future. Unfortunately, the King didn’t look like he was about to drop dead.

“They wanted you to play the piano,” Phil said in a very quiet voice. “They asked me to reach out to you, ask you to play at the reception. But…”

Dan’s heart ached. Phil hadn’t told him before last minute, probably to spare his feelings. He was oddly touched that the future bride and groom had even thought of him.

“But I can’t do that. I don’t suppose you convinced them of a masquerade wedding too.”

“No,” Phil grumbled and Dan got the distinct feeling he’d tried to interfere somehow.

“What did you do, Phil?”

“Might have suggested different venues or having the Grand Hall in completely darkness. Unfortunately, Mum didn’t approve…”

Dan barked out a laugh. Phil was an idiot but a well-meaning and kind one. “I can’t imagine why.”

“Sue me for wanting you to be there,” Phil said.

That statement made Dan’s heart ache in an entirely different way. Phil wanted him to go to his brother’s weeding.

“Suppose I could pose as a footman and get in that way,” Dan mused, only half kidding.

“If you wouldn’t drop a tray the moment they handed it to you that might work,” Phil said and giggled, undoubtedly at the mental image of Dan as a clumsy footman.

“You’ll be fine on your own, Phil. I know you don’t like big gatherings but this is for your brother. He gets to marry the woman he loves. Isn’t that worth putting up with everything for?”

“Yeah,” Phil said and Dan recognised the sound of suppressed longing when he heard it. But Phil hadn’t pressured him, so Dan didn’t want to get into Phil’s business either.

“They’ll be a great king and queen one day, right?” Dan half-stated, half-asked.

“The best,” Phil said and then his tone turned serious. “It’s the reason Martyn has been so careful. He needs to be allowed to take over after my uncle. He can right many of the horrible wrongs my uncle has made.”

No one needed to say what they were both thinking of specifically.

“You don’t know of any royal assassination plans, do you?” Dan joked.

Phil became eerily quiet and Dan worried he’d crossed a line.

“No… but be careful with jokes like that, Dan. I know I’ve spoken way too freely about my opinions to you but if you say something like that and someone hears you, you’ll be thrown into the dungeon immediately.”

Dan gulped at that thought. He’d been held in some horrible places but he had no wish to be locked in the castle’s dungeon. Who knew what might happen to him down there without Phil to constantly protect him?

“Do you mean the thing about speaking too freely to me, Phil?”

Phil seemed to be deep in thought. They were in their separate beds, well bed and sofa, and couldn’t see each other’s faces. But Dan had learnt how to read the different types of silences they had. Sometimes, it was comfortable. Other times tense. And like now, it was thoughtful and a tiny bit anxious.

“I’m supposed to be some thing without opinions and feelings. I should just a boy in line to the throne because if I open my mouth too much, I’ll be ripped of that potential glory, even if I don’t want it. Martyn grown up the same way but when he becomes king, he’ll be able to make decisions. He’ll move on from having to be silent and careful to doing whatever he wants.”

Dan pondered Phil’s words and the angry edge to his words.

“And you don’t want that for yourself?” he asked carefully.

“No, I wouldn’t be a good king. I’m too… Phil. I’m not sure I could make the right choices or set a good example. I’ve failed most princey things they’ve tried to teach me. I’m scared of horses, I can’t fence, I can’t talk to people without saying something awkward, I can’t make objective and rational decisions because I let my emotions get in the way. I would be horrible at it.”

Dan didn’t agree one bit. In fact, Phil’s compassion and good heart were some of the things that Dan thought made him a great possible king but he understood not wanting that many responsibilities on his shoulders.

“That’s why it is great Martyn is the oldest. He’ll do amazingly. I’m sure of it. And Cornelia will as well.”

Dan hummed in agreement. The Lesters were nothing like Dan thought royalty would have been. Martyn had come by the library on short visits every other day. He always said hello to Dan and even tried to make conversation, though Dan kept being awkward. He’d also run into Cornelia a couple of times and she treated with all the affection of a long-lost brother.

“At nightfall tomorrow, will you come meet me in the garden?” Phil asked.

“If you want me to,” Dan said.

In honesty, he’d be more than happy to do it. After a whole day without seeing Phil, he’d undoubtedly feel a pull to see him anyway.

“I’m sure I’ll be in need of an escape after such a long day.”

Dan wondered when he had become Phil’s person to escape to and come to think of it, why Dan always sought out Phil the same way. The trust between them and the familiarity must have run even deeper than he realised.

“I’ll be there,” Dan promised.

~*~

Phil had never particularly liked weddings. It always made him draw unwelcome parallels to the time in the ever nearing future where he’d be stood at the alter and seeing a woman he didn’t love walk down the aisle.

Sometimes, when he’d been younger, he’d fantasied that he’d be in love with his future wife. He did like women but even so it had become more and more like that it was just a fantasy.

To find someone who he loved would be difficult enough and to find someone female with just the right family credentials that he could love would be virtually impossible. Oh, and they would have to be approved by his uncle and Phil didn’t think the King would do him any favours.

But Martyn and Cornelia’s wedding would defy all of that. They were marrying for love and Phil was beyond pleased that it had been allowed. He’d held his breath when his mother had come back after a discussion with the King.

It had been after the engagement ball that she’d gone to ask on behalf of her oldest son. They both knew if the wedding were stopped after the engagement was announced, it would make the King lose face. Phil’s mother had undoubtedly played down how angry he’d been but Catherine had gusto and she didn’t let anyone mess with her.

So the union was approved. He would have hardly any grounds to dismiss it. Martyn had chosen a royal princess for crying out loud.

The ceremony was beautiful and Phil might have started crying at the exchange of vows. He didn’t even care who saw. He was so happy on his brother’s behalf and he had always had easy to tears.

Marrying after only six months might have seemed quick if it wasn’t for their royal status and Martyn’s age. And since they were often arranged, six months was actually a considerable amount of time.

The King had been married before but she had died in childbirth just a year later. The king had never remarried after that. Instead, he took unwed nobility women to his bed, vowing only to marry them if they would fall pregnant.

None had and he was still without an heir.

But unofficially Martyn was the crown prince as their father would never be able to accept the throne due to his illness. And Martyn and Cornelia looked every bit as stunning and as in love as the next ruling pair should be.

The day passed in somewhat of a blur to Phil. There was so much happening all the time, both guest and journalists demanding his attention. Too many people asked prodding questions about when he would find a girl and settle down. Phil tried his best the steer away form those conversations without being rude.

Phil was sat next to his father on the main long table. His parents were next to each other with Martyn seated next to his wife and his uncle, the latter only due to hierarchy reasons. Cornelia’s family was sat on her side of the table but Phil had gotten a chance to chat to them. They were all as lovely as their daughter and highly approvable of Martyn.

The food was lavish and Phil made a mental note to compliment Daisy tomorrow. She’d undoubtedly worked herself to the bone along with the other kitchen staff. There were speeches too and Phil kept crying as the bride and groom spoke as well as their parents. He was a big mess but he tried to hide most of it behind a napkin.

When it became time for his speech, he cleared his throat and stood up on slightly wobbly legs. He’d pondered his speech for a long time and even recited it to Dan to make sure it was okay. Dan had been wearing his small and touched smile by the time Phil was finished, so he’d taken that as a good sign.

“My wonderful brother Martyn, and beautiful Cornelia,” Phil started, “I can’t even explain how happy I am to see that you’ve found each other. Martyn always wanted to travel the world and I can’t say that I was too happy when he begun doing it. I missed my older brother dearly, even though I knew he would return home.”

“Of course,” Martyn responded, looking up at Phil and intertwining his hands with his new wife.

“I didn’t get it at first, mostly because I didn’t understand why you wanted to travel so desperately. But I think I understand it now. I know you never set out to find someone to love. You just set out to travel, experience things and enjoy life. However, in doing so you found something precious,” Phil said and gestured to the happy couple.

“You weren’t looking for each other but you crossed paths anyway. When I first met Cornelia and saw the two of you together, I knew why you have never accepted any of the many marriage proposals thrown your way before. It’s the little things that I doubt the two of you even notice. It’s the way you lean towards each other, seeking implicit support. It’s the teasing and light-hearted banter that shows how well you play off each other. It’s the way you can communicate using only your eyes while the rest of the world can only guess what passed between you. It’s beautiful and it’s such an endearing love. I am beyond happy that the two of you have found each other. Let’s raise our glasses to the lovely couple!”

Phil might have been tearing up in the end. Describing their love made him yearn for something like that himself and yet he’d likely end up in a loveless marriage with someone interested in him only for his status. So it was a mix of happy and sad tears that he wiped away as he went over to hug his brother.

Cornelia pulled him into a hug too and she clung to him so tightly as if she’d sensed his need for comfort.

“Thank you so much, Phil,” she said and then lowered her voice even more, “I know you’ll find a love like that too.”

Phil just smiled politely and pretended that her words didn’t hurt. They were well intended but Cornelia came from a land with much fewer restrictions. Her parents would never have made her marry out of convenience Phil had realised upon meeting them.

The evening was drawing to an end and the sun would set soon and Phil was getting impatient to leave. He’d meet up with Dan and probably ditch the last of the party. But they still had the King’s speech until they could get up from the table.

Phil wasn’t really appreciating the delicious dessert he was moving around his plate. When the King stood up and cleared his throat, Phil perked up because that meant speeches would be over for good.

He would soon regret that sentiment.

“My dear nephew,” the king started, “I’ll keep it short and sweet because I know you all yearn for the dance floor. I am happy to see you wed today, even if it does mean that you won’t ever be able to be my successor.”

Everyone in the room froze, most noticeably Phil and his family at the main table. What was the King on about? Phil instantly got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

It couldn’t be true…

“But I know it is a sacrifice you make for the woman you love and if that doesn’t show how deeply you love her then I don’t know what could. Welcome to the family, lady Cornelia.”

Phil caught how he decreased Cornelia’s rank, which didn’t even make any sense because she was still a princess from her homeland no matter what. However, Phil was more busy being in denial of what happened.

People applauded as the King finished and sat back down but the noise just seemed to drown out in Phil’s ears. There was something that meant that Martyn’s marriage to Cornelia made him unable to keep his claim to their throne.

Phil wasn’t sure how that was possible but he knew the King would never made such a statement publically unless he was absolutely certain. Martyn had been ripped of his rank. He was no longer a prince. Phil would be moved up to second in line, though unofficially first in line.

This couldn’t be happening. Martyn was always the one who had been supposed to be king. Phil was just the back-up plan. It was never supposed to be real for him!

“Philip,” called Phil’s father from his seat next to him while placing his hand on Phil’s arm.

Phil looked up startled. “Is it true?”

So many questions were whizzing around his mind. How hadn’t they known? Which stupid old law made this so? What would Phil do now?

“I… I didn’t realise. I had forgotten but…” Phil’s father hesitated. “During the Great War documents were drawn up by our side proclaiming that marriage to any nobility from our enemies would mean rejection of one’s own throne. It happened over a hundred years ago. I assumed the documents had been revoked but it would appear that isn’t the case if my brother dares to make such a statement.”

The Great War? Phil could hardly recall the history he’d learnt about back then. And certainly nothing of fraternisation documents but honestly, he wouldn’t have put it past them during that time. But how could that still be valid?

“I’ll have my lawyers look it over,” Phil’s father said but they both knew it was unlikely that the King would have been mistaken. He was vile and manipulative but he always had his official papers in order.

The music started playing and people got out of their seats and started moving towards the dance floor. Phil just stayed sat in his seat.

His uncle looked his way with a calculating smile that made his toes curl. He’d played them all. Instead of letting them know beforehand, he’d waited until it couldn’t be taken back.

However, Phil wasn’t sure what they’d have done if they’d known. He couldn’t ask Martyn not to marry the woman he loved. He saw how much they cared for each other and while engagement would have protected them for a while, two royals couldn’t stay unwed without it making complications.

Someone grabbed Phil by his elbow, yanking him to his feet. Martyn practically dragged him along to a quiet corner.

His brother looked like a different person from just ten minutes before. He’d been radiating happiness enough to light up the whole room but now he looked deeply troubled and worried.

Phil internally cursed his uncle for doing this to poor Martyn on his wedding day. It was supposed to be a day of love and instead the King had purposely ruined it. He’d sounded genuinely saddened in his speech but none of the other Lesters had been fooled by his sentiments.

“Phil, I’m… I…” Martyn seemed unable to find the words and then settled to pull Phil into a bone-crushing hug. Phil clung on for dear life.

“I’m so sorry, baby brother. I didn’t… I’m… Phil, I don’t…”

Phil hushed his brother and squeezed him a little harder. He felt wetness on his cheek but his face was turned away from Martyn and it was the crushed but quiet kind of crying.

“Don’t worry, Martyn. We’ll figure it out. You can’t let this ruin yours and Cornelia’s day. I beg of you, forget all of this for tonight. There will still be a problem tomorrow but don’t let it overshadow this day. Please.”

“I could get it annulled,” Martyn said, merely a whisper on his lips but they were still standing in an embrace. “I can’t ask you do to this, Phil. It was supposed to be my responsibility.”

“Don’t you dare,” Phil said. “You know what that would do to Cornelia’s status and to the hearts of both of you. You love her and you married her. I won’t let you change that. We will figure it out. I might be forced to marry but you married for love and I’m so happy for you, so don’t you dare let _him_ take away that too. Don’t you dare, Martyn!”

Martyn and Phil slowly pulled apart and Phil could see that he wasn’t the only one who was crying.

They had both been caught up in this game for way too long. Their whole lives they had known that they would have to stand in the way of their uncle handing of the power and the fate of their beloved land to foreign and evil hands. Now Phil would have to stand against it by himself.

“But Phil…”

“No,” Phil said and his tone left no room for discussion. He couldn’t live with himself if he let Martyn make this sacrifice. He wouldn’t be responsible for his brother’s misery. “Now go dance with your beautiful bride. We’ll talk more tomorrow. I’m heading out.”

“You shouldn’t be alone right now,” Martyn said. “Go find Dan, okay?”

Phil was momentarily baffled that Martyn would say something like that. Martyn had been kind towards Dan but Phil always thought his brother secretly disapproved that Phil had taken on Dan and turned him into a confidant.

“I’m planning to.”

“Phil?” Martyn called out as Phil turned to leave. “We’ll figure out something.”

Phil nodded but headed out as fast as his legs could carry him.

~*~

Dan was strolling around the fountain as the sun was setting in the horizon. He thought back to a month ago when he’d been outside of the castle and its ground and seen the city he’d grown up in again.

It felt like a dream now.

He’d managed to get out into the garden without any problems. He’d gotten extremely good at moving around without anyone taking notice of him. It helped that he wore a regular staff uniform and no shackles.

Dan took a seat on the bench in front of the fountain and he stared up at the figurines again. Their story was so heart-breaking and whenever he looked at them, he could hear Phil telling him the story.

It was a story of the ultimate sacrifice for someone you loved. The King had given up his life, literally, so that his Queen could survive. Dan wondered if such sacrifice would have been made present day when so many were so busy looking out for their own interest.

Dan heard the running steps of someone and frowned as the looked in the direction of the noise and saw Phil coming against him, running like his life depended on it. Phil’s attire wasn’t made from running, a suit so expensive the cost made Dan’s mind swim but it wasn’t what worried him most.

Phil looked absolutely crushed and lost and on the brink of tears. He came to a halt an arm’s length away from Dan and gasped for his breath.

Without thinking, Dan put a reassuring hand on Phil’s shoulder, trying desperately to steady him. Phil looked horribly pale and like he might throw up any moment.

“Dan,” Phil huffed out in between pants.

“Phil, you’re really scaring me. What’s going on?” Dan asked.

They sat down on the bench and Phil choked out bits of information between taking deep breaths. Martyn marrying Cornelia somehow unqualified him to inherit the throne, removing him from succession and letting the number two spot go to Phil. But Dan knew what Phil had told him. Phil’s father would never accept the throne, which essentially meant Phil was the crown prince now.

Phil who didn’t want to rule at all.

Dan watched as Phil pushed down the sobs threatening to escape him.

“I’m sorry, Dan, I didn’t mean to… I’m just so… I-I can’t do this.”

“Hey,” Dan said and rubbed his hand over Phil’s back in a comforting gesture. “It’s okay. You can tell me anything. Phil, you’ll be okay. You’re amazing…”

“Ha!” barked Phil, startling Dan who stilled his hand. “I’m not. I can’t rule. It was supposed,” he hiccupped, “supposed to be Martyn. And now…”

Dan’s throat felt closed up as well. He’d never imagined that he’d see Phil so out of sorts. It oddly reminded him of the time Phil had intervened and saved him from the lord with ill intentions but Phil was so much more out of it now. He looked like he didn’t even have control of his own body.

Normally, Dan would be extremely wary around people who seemed so out of sorts. People in such states of emotions usually weren’t themselves and it could lead them to do very unpleasant things. However, this was Phil and Phil had just had his world turned upside down.

Dan wanted to help him but he was powerless to do anything. He couldn’t change that Martyn had met and married Cornelia, he couldn’t change the manipulative king’s mind and he couldn’t make it a different reality for Phil, no matter how much he wanted to.

But he could provide support and a shoulder to cry on. Phil had done so much more for him.

A little voice in the back of his mind warning him that getting close to the unstable prince wasn’t the wisest move but Dan shut it down. He reached over to put both of his arms around Phil and pulled him into a proper hug.

They’d never hugged before and Phil tensed at the action at first but soon melted into Dan’s touch and pulled his arms around his torso too. Alarm bells did go off because someone had their hands on his back where so many scares rested.

His heart was beating so fast but he realised not all of it was the instinctive worry of getting hurt because of his past. Some of it was because he was hugging Phil, who he cared more about than he was willing to admit.

Phil’s body felt soft against him and Phil had buried his face in Dan’s shoulder and his grip was steady around Dan’s body. But hands didn’t wander for one second nor did the grip become painfully tightly.

They just sat on the bench, turned towards each other and caught in an embrace. Neither of them spoke. They just say there, enjoying the warmth of each other and the vague sound of heartbeats beating a little faster than usual.

Everything would change for Phil now and as an extension, so would they for Dan. That night, under the stars and the full moon, they didn’t want to think about any of that.

So they just held each other and breathed in sync.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As one of my lovely readers reminded me, it's time for nominations for the [phanfic awards on Tumblr](http://phanficawards.tumblr.com). I've never had a story nominated before but I've always thought the awards was such a cool thing. While this story is not yet finished, I'm very proud of everything I've written so far. [Check out the categories in this post](http://phanficawards.tumblr.com/post/167326757145/phanfic-awards-2017-nominations) and if this story is your favourite in any of the categories it fits in, then that would be cool. 
> 
> Now with that out of the way, what did you think of this chapter? I really like how it turned out, despite the fact I hate to write drama for my beloved characters. I promised more angst in the future, right? (And this isn't even half of it). It's breaking my heart to write Phil so sad and overwhelmed. I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether or not you think Phil would make a good king.
> 
> Next update is in a week, on Saturday the 25th of November.


	17. Looking for Loopholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil didn't know how to process what had happened but Dan was right there to distract and help him through it and Phil couldn't express how much he valued that. Dan hated to see Phil in such a distressed state and wanted nothing more than to help.

The night drew colder around them and eventually even sharing body warm wasn’t enough to keep them warm. Phil felt horrible that he was dumping all of this on Dan but he didn’t know what else to do.

And Dan had hugged him! Completely unprompted and held him there until Phil slowly begun to pull away, after a very long time. Phil remembered how he’d wanted to hug Dan for literally months but always held back from initiating that much physical contact between them. Light touches on shoulders or knees had become okay but a hug was something different; more intimate, more personal, more trusting.

Phil didn’t want to pull away from the hug but his legs were beginning to freeze up. His mind had calmed when he’d matched Dan’s breathing and he had noticed the slight hitch in Dan’s breath when they first fell into the hug. But both of their breathing had evened out and Phil felt moderately calmer.

As long as he didn’t let his mind dwell on the reality that tonight had thrust him into. Unofficially first to the throne, as his father could never take the position.

“Want to walk around the garden?” Dan asked, voice so quiet and soft.

There was something about how gently Dan was treating him that made Phil want to burst into tears. He felt on the verge of crying ever since he’d left the ballroom anyway. But it was such a change from the hard cold eyes that Dan had been wearing when they first met.

When Phil looked into Dan’s eyes now, they were soft and compassionate. More importantly, they looked at Phil not with pity or annoyance but with understanding. Somehow, even though it was a unique situation that Dan had never been in, Dan just got how Phil was feeling.

Perhaps, it was more because he knew Phil so well now and how his brain worked, more so than the specific situation.

“I’d love a walk,” Phil said and got up on shaky legs. Dan reached out to steady him instantly, no hesitation in his movement. Phil shot him a grateful smile and they began strolling around the garden.

Phil felt too active and wired but Dan started asking about the different plants and flowers, even if they only had the soft moonlight to inspect them. Phil was grateful for the distraction, easily falling into talking about one of his passions when Dan asked. Surprisingly, though, Dan seemed to remember most of what Phil had told him about the different plants and flowers and for whatever reason it made Phil’s heart clench.

Dan cared. Dan remembered. Dan steadied him, when he needed it most.

How could he be so fortunate to have found Dan, even under their horrible circumstances?

~*~

Dan kept Phil talking and they fell into step as they walked. Just like when they were breathing together, their stride matched up as if they had always been walking next to each other.

Phil’s voice was strained and marked by the sadness but he talked with a lot of passion and he was still bubbly excited to talk about his “plant babies”. Dan made sure Phil’s mind didn’t have any more time to focus on anything other than plants.

They walked for a long time but none of them kept particular track of the time. They just discussed plants and stayed far away from topics about what would become of the monarchy of their land.

Phil began to slow down gradually, his steps heavier than before.

“Should we go to bed?” Dan asked.

Phil’s head snapped up and he frowned confusedly at Dan before Dan’s mind caught up to how his words could have been interpreted. Now he was sputtering with embarrassment and thanked the dark lighting that Phil probably couldn’t read his face.

“I mean… in our chambers, your chambers. Separately but together. I…”

Phil just chuckled and placed a gently touch on Dan’s shoulder. Dan didn’t flinch at all.

“I know… my brain is just tired. It’s been an eventful day. However… I don’t really want to fall asleep,” Phil said and added the last bit in a weak voice.

Dan was familiar with nightmares and wanting to stay away from sleep, which could pull you under and make you face the things that you wanted to hide from.

“What do you want to do instead? Should we keep walking around?”

Phil looked thoughtful for a moment and then it was like a light bulb went on in his head.

“Could… I mean… would you play for me? On the piano in the library?”

“Err, it’s the middle of the night, Phil. Do you really think…”

“Please,” Phil said and Dan wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to a prince begging, but then again half the time he forgot that Phil was a prince anyway.

Dan wasn’t sure he’d be able to deny any request from Phil. Technically, he wasn’t allowed to with Phil having power over his very being but the urge in Dan didn’t come from that at all. He wanted to do things for Phil because he cared and they were friends. However, impossible it was, they were friends.

“Sure,” Dan caved.

They made their way through the darkened castle, which was far from sleeping anyway. You could still hear the music from the Grand Hall where all the wedding guests were having the time of their life.

Dan frowned as he thought how this manipulative move by the king had ruined Martyn and Cornelia’s day as well as Phil and his parents’. It wasn’t fair that Phil had to sneak away and not partake in the festivities because he was a crumbling mess.

But then again, he’d asked Dan to meet him at nightfall before they knew about the king’s plans.

The library was dark too but rather than turn on the electric lights, Phil went around and turned on the candles perched on the walls. It created a very gentle lighting and when Dan looked over at Phil, his heart might have skipped a beat.

Dan had always been aware that Phil was gorgeous. He was all long limbs, pretty eyes and a face that you invited you to stare. Dan also knew that Phil didn’t see himself this way at all. However, Phil was much more than his looks.

He was the kindness that poured from him, the compassion for everyone who crossed his path. He was creative and smart enough to outwit most people and so much more.

Phil was beautiful, even with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes in the candlelight. He was as vulnerable as Dan had ever seen him, even dressed in the elegant suit, though he had quickly ditched the jacket.

Dan sat down at the piano, which he’d gotten so familiar with. However, upon a moment’s thought he scooted over to one side of the piano bench. Phil had been moving to get comfortable in his regular armchair but he paused when Dan moved aside.

Making room for Phil.

Phil sat down next to him with a lot of caution. The silence should have been uncomfortable and awkward but both of them were too tired to let that be the case.

They just let themselves be still for a quiet moment.

And then Dan began to play an old lullaby and the soft tones of the piano filled the silence.

~*~

Phil watched with interest as Dan’s fingers moved across the keys. He’d never been this close and able to see how elegantly Dan’s long fingers worked the instrument. It reminded him oddly of the grace with which his grandmother had played it.

He’d used to sit in her lap, mesmerised that someone could make music like that just by moving their fingers and pressing down. Phil had always wished that he knew how to play like his grandmother but at that very moment, he felt like there was a reason he’d never been able to do it.

He was better at watching someone else play. It filled him with a serenity that he couldn’t quite describe.

Dan kept playing, merging songs together or moving on from one to another effortlessly. Phil didn’t even request numbers but somehow, Dan played all Phil’s favourites anyway. They had talked music before and it seemed, just like with the plants, Dan remembered what Phil had told him.

At some point, Phil felt like his head became to heavy to hold and he let it drop on Dan’s shoulder. Dan tensed but only for a moment before relaxing again. Phil wanted to open his mouth and ask if it was okay or to pull his head off Dan’s shoulder but his body didn’t seem like it wanted to listen to him.

Dan let out a soft chuckle.

“You’re all softness and cuddles, aren’t you, Phil?” Dan asked in an amused voice as his fingers kept playing with ease.

Phil grumbled something but he relished in the thought that Dan didn’t mind. He would have said if he did. They were in a place where they told each other stuff like that. And Phil was so tired.

He was tired of everything. He was tired of being a prince and all that came along with it. He knew it was horrible to spit at his privilege like that and it only made him feel worse.

Phil let his eyes fall shut and just listened to the beautiful sounds of the piano while he leaned on the strong body next to him.

~*~

It was Daisy who found them. Dan was still playing, more for himself now, as Phil was fast asleep. Dan knew he should wake Phil and get him back to their chambers but he didn’t quite want to move yet.

He’d hugged Phil tonight and now Phil was asleep on his shoulder.

His old scars reminded him that things were getting dangerous and personal and he shouldn’t allow Phil to break down all these walls. It would only come back to bite him in the arse. However, Dan decided to silence that voice.

Did he make himself more vulnerable as a result of living with Phil? Yes.

Would he rather go back to being defensive and flinching every time someone came near? No.

“Dan?” Daisy’s voice called out softly and then it was followed by a big yawn. “What are you doing here?”

“Phil wanted to listen to music,” Dan said because he didn’t quite know how to explain it to Daisy. However, as Daisy came nearer on light steps, Dan could read on her face that he didn’t need to.

Her face melted at the sight of them, parts pity and adoration.

“I heard what happened. If I could, I would go after that nasty man with a blade and hope for the best,” she said and even puffed out her chest, completing the look of overprotective friend.

“That would probably get you jailed,” Dan spoke softly, his fingers still playing out some of the endless lullabies he’d learnt over the past couple of months. There was something about the soothing tones that made him feel calmer.

“I don’t give a shit,” Daisy hissed in a low voice but Dan recognised an empty threat when he heard one. Phil couldn’t do anything, Dan couldn’t do anything and neither could Daisy, even if she seemed willing to try.

“He always did fall asleep in the strangest places,” Daisy said looking at Phil, all leaned into Dan, who sat perfectly still not to disturb the sleeping prince.

Something in Daisy’s tone changed when she went on. “You know, once upon a time, if something like this had happened, Phil would have come running straight to me. He’d pull me out of the kitchen and just babble until I managed to calm him down. He could never go with most stuff to his family because he worried about it being inappropriate. But… this time he came running straight to you.”

Dan was worried for a beat that Daisy was angry with him and that she thought Dan was trying to steal away Phil’s friendship.

“Don’t look so worried, Dan,” Daisy chuckled. “It wasn’t meant in a malicious way. I just mean, it shows how much Phil care about you. Twenty years of friendship and you surpassed me in just a few months.”

Dan shook his head gently, making sure not to rustle Phil. “Phil loves you a lot. The friendship the two of you have could never be questioned by anyone, let alone me.”

“You underestimate yourself,” Daisy said, as a-matter-of-fact, “I know Phil and I won’t ever stop being friends but that doesn’t mean he can’t have anyone else in his life. Phil’s heart is big enough for all of us.”

Dan gulped at the thought of being in Phil’s heart at all. Sure, they were friends and you cared about your friends but there were still all these barriers between them and all the secrets about Dan’s past that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to talk to anyone about. You shouldn’t let people like that into your heart. And yet, hadn’t Phil begun to worm his way into Dan’s? Wasn’t that why the walls kept crumbling whenever Phil neared one? Step by step, Phil was reaching the core of Dan’s very guarded heart.

Phil’s weight on Dan’s shoulder changed and he almost went toppling down the bench if not for Dan’s quick hands, which caught him.

Phil looked startled before calming down when he realised where he was. He seemed mildly surprised to see Daisy watching him but he just rubbing his eyes.

“You need proper sleep, Lester.”

“But Dan is such a comfortable pillow,” Phil murmured, voice heavy with sleep, as put his head back on Dan’s shoulder. Dan was sure he was flushing red and the embarrassment could be read on his face.

“Both of you, bed!” Daisy exclaimed, startling Phil to raise his head.

She practically had to drag them back to their chambers; one hand on each of their wrists and Dan noted happily that he didn’t even mind the contact from the outspoken kitchen maid anymore.

First, Daisy dumped Phil onto the bed and then Dan onto the sofa.

“Sleep tight, boys,” she whispered as she closed the door and left them alone yet again. Quiet fell over the room until Phil spoke.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Dan smiled. “That’s okay, Phil.”

He almost added what he really wanted to say but saying out loud that he would do anything Phil asked him to would have been too much for his fragile being. It felt too much like an open invitation, even if Dan knew that Phil wouldn’t take advantage of it.

They fell into an exhausted sleep.

~*~

When Phil woke the following morning, he had one of the worst headaches he could remember. His vision seemed blurry, his throat felt raw and his limps were heavy and aching on top of the figurative banging inside of his skull.

He sat up and saw Dan peacefully asleep on the sofa. Normally, Dan woke up whenever Phil did, because Dan’s body always reacted to movement. But not this morning and Phil padded to the bathroom as quietly as he could.

He splashed his face with water and gripped the sink as the previous day washed over him. All the happiness at the wedding over seeing his brother marry the woman he loved. The wonderful reception full of love until his uncle had risen to give his speech. The crushing weight as Phil realised what this meant for his future. How he’d sought comfort in Dan, in form of hugs, conversations and soft piano tones. Had he really fallen asleep on Dan’s shoulder or had that been a dream?

He’d been so tired and he felt the tiredness threatening to overtake him even now. They had to get to work. They had to put together a research team to see if the king’s claim held true. Phil was almost certain it did because his uncle would never risk such a public backlash but maybe they could find something to overthrown the decision.

Otherwise, Phil was the second in line to the throne.

Tradition ensued that the three next people in line for the throne would be permitted to live at the castle if they so pleased. They needed to find out who this new third would be. Phil secretly hoped that whatever distant cousin it was, would be monarch material.

Dan was awake when Phil walked out of the bathroom. He looked at Phil with so many emotions at once.

There was so much to be said between them but Phil didn’t even know where to start.

He wanted to thank Dan for yesterday and all the days before it. He wanted to let Dan know how much he’d appreciated the steading touch and the unyielding support. Phil had felt close to losing his mind but Dan had somehow pulled him back from the edge.

Instead he said, “morning.”

It fell a bit flat but Dan smiled like he understood. How Dan could always understand, Phil wasn’t sure but he sure as hell was very grateful for it.

His parents had already been busy the night before. When Phil found them, they’d already started hiring people to go through the old archives and look for anything that could help them. Secretly, of course, even though the king had probably expected them to react that way. When Martyn and Cornelia emerged they looked blissfully happy until Martyn spotted Phil and all the happiness seemed to evaporate.

Phil wanted to hurt his uncle for causing what should have been the happiest day of his brother’s life to be marked by this ploy.

They called in advisors and the five royal family members helped out too, even Phil and Martyn’s father until he had to retire to rest. During the day, it dawned on him what Martyn had lost.

He’d been so caught up by what it would mean to himself that he hadn’t really considered what it would mean to Martyn. Sure, keeping their line to the throne had been a responsibility and scary at times, but Phil had known that Martyn actually had been prepared for the day he’d take the throne.

He didn’t like being around his uncle or the contagious dreadful attitude from many nobles but he’d dreamed of turning all that around when he finally became king one day. He had wanted to be a fair king, who put an end to all the awful laws their uncle had made. He wanted to create a kingdom where people were equal and everyone was treated fairly.

Phil had never wanted to rule the kingdom, but it was something Martyn had wanted.

All these thoughts made Phil’s head spin and he excused himself. A lot of the day had passed anyway. It was almost time for them to break up for dinner anyway.

He told his parents he would be absent from dinner due to exhaustion and though it earned him a stern glance, none of them commented on how rude it would appear. Martyn and Cornelia was setting off for their honeymoon and not dining with the king either. However, Phil’s mother’s gaze quickly softened as she walked up to him to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Go, relax. Ask Daisy for some food. Have Dan look after you,” she told him.

Phil knew her choice of words could be taken the wrong way but there were a lot of advisors present and though they had picked their most trusted ones, his mother never let the façade drop when others were in the room.

Phil hated that it had to be that way but he also appreciated his mother’s words because he understood what she meant by them. She knew he and Dan had gotten close, even if he never let himself go into specifics. But somehow, his mother just knew.

It must be come magic mum sense or something.

Daisy happily took some food aside and brought it up to them in their chambers. They ate, read in their different books and kept conversation to light-hearted topics. Phil had gotten so used to having Dan around that he didn’t think he’d ever get used to living alone in his chambers anymore.

If he came back and Dan was off doing something, it felt wrong to be greeted by the empty room. Phil would easily be able to locate Dan, who was likely in the library or the garden, but it scared Phil when he thought about how much he’d come to depend on Dan’s presence.

However, he needed all the familiarity and comfort he could get at the moment and he just accepted it.

It was hours after Phil returned when Dan finally approached the unspeakable topic. Phil couldn’t blame him, if the roles had been reversed, he wouldn’t have been able to keep quiet for this long.

The odd thing was, Phil wanted to tell Dan because he always told Dan everything. But this, it was such a privileged problem and Phil worried that Dan would think ill of him for being so affected by it. Most people would probably have loved to know that they most likely would be king one day.

“Did you find anything?” Dan had asked.

“We’re working on it. But the law seems to hold up. I’m so fucking tired of laws,” Phil grumbled.

“Me and you both,” Dan said, voice light and teasing, even as they discussed a very serious topic.

“I know, sorry. You shouldn’t have to worry about me. It’s a luxury problem. I’m sorry I’m being so…”

“Hey,” Dan interrupted and got up from where he’d been lounging on the sofa. “Your problems aren’t less valid or real because of their nature, Phil. It’s something that is bothering you and therefore it’s important that we find a solution.”

“But compared to what you’ve been through, Dan, this just seems… insignificant?”

Dan shook his head firmly and looked like he was getting ready to scold Phil. “It’s not a bloody competition, Phil. We’ve all got problems and I know yours are bigger than you let people think. I know you, Phil. Okay? I’ve been listening all these months and I do understand why you feel like this. Don’t you worry about me thinking poorly of you, okay? I don’t think that’s physically possible.”

Dan spoke fast-paced as he always did when something was important to him and when he stopped he looked, slightly uncertain as if he’d overstepped his boundaries or said too much.

“Can I hug you?” Phil asked because he felt the overwhelming feeling to wrap his arms around Dan but just because they’d done it the night before didn’t mean that he had permission to repeat it.

Dan froze, but didn’t flinch, before he made himself forcibly relax. He opened his arms as a silent invitation and Phil got up and walked into them.

It was a very different hug than when they’d been sitting on the bench in the garden and Phil had almost been hyperventilating.

It was a lot shorter but it felt more important. They could hug now without Dan getting overly uncomfortable. As soon as Dan started to pull away, Phil dropped his arms and stepped back.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“You’re such a tactile person,” Dan commented, fondness evident in his voice.

Phil beamed at Dan, as he sat back down on his bed grabbed his book. “Sorry.”

“No,” Dan said and hesitated. “I don’t really mind that much anymore. I know you would never do… I mean I’ve obviously known for a while but my instincts are finally starting to get the memo as well. It’s nice. I’ve missed hugs.”

Phil’s heart felt like it broke a little bit and then got put back together instantly. The fact that someone had made Dan so afraid of affectionate touches would always make break Phil’s heart but the fact that Dan was getting better made him have hope.

If him and Dan could make all of this progress, maybe there was hope everything would work itself out. Phil desperately wanted it to be true but clearly, his uncle had different plans and he was nowhere done yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the boys' conversations in this one and the way they lean on each other for support. I felt very chill while writing this chapter and I can just vividly imagine the scene in the library with them at the piano. I hope you liked it as well. As always I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Also, a little reminder that the nominations for the [Phanfic Awards](http://phanficawards.tumblr.com/post/167191119045/phanfic-awards-2017-nominations) is still open and you can nominate this fic if it's your favourite in any of the appropriate categories.
> 
> And when we're talking about tumblr, I have one for posting my writing [@secretlywritingstories](http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com) and a main one [@natigail](http://natigail.tumblr.com) which is a lot of Dan and Phil and I talk about my writing on there too. Come say hi if you feel like it.
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 2nd of December (someone tell me how the fuck it's December already? I am not ready and not quite over my pneumonia either).


	18. Third in Line for the Throne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil had always been dreading who might be behind him in line to the throne but it was even worse than he could have imagined. Dan wasn't pleased to find a strange man in his and Phil's shared chambers and yet again be subjected to how nobility regarded him.

Dan did not like this waiting one bit. He felt completely useless as Phil went off to the secret meetings with the royal advisors as well as keeping up with his usual duties.

Martyn and Cornelia had left on their honeymoon but they were still the talk of everyone. Some were now suspicious of Cornelia after having been reminded of her ancestry and some thought that Martyn was making a grave mistake choosing a woman over his kingdom.

Dan wanted the gossip to stop. It was none of their business and he had seen Cornelia and Martyn together and no one that had actually spent any time with them would question why Martyn had made such a choice. He was in love and you should be able to be with the people you loved without something as stupid as laws interfering.

That sentiment very much extended to Phil.

Phil hadn’t wanted to talk about it but Dan heard gossip that the hunt for a suitable princess for Phil was in full swing. The thought of Phil marrying out of a sense of duty rather than love did bad things to Dan’s stomach.

He was getting restless ad pacing around the halls of the castle while Phil was away yet again. He had been so caught up in his own mind that he almost didn’t notice the couple he stumbled upon down one of the more quiet corridors.

Seeing Daisy, red-faced and dishevelled with a man in a guard uniform had not been something he had counted on. They had clearly come from doing something that should not be mentioned in public company and as the shock took off, Dan couldn’t help but smile.

“Dan!” Daisy exclaimed and raised her hand to partly hide her face. “Hi buddy.”

“Hi Daisy,” he said and he was undoubtedly wearing a big grin. This was too good. The fiery kitchen maid actually looked embarrassed. That was an entirely new look on her.

“Wipe that smirk off your face, dork,” she hissed. “I guess there’s not avoiding it anymore. Dan, this is Florian, my boyfriend.”

Florian was a big man but he had kind eyes. However, as he moved out his large hand and Dan got a good look at the muscly arm, he naturally retreated a little. Guards were the ones who had dragged him in here and some of them had taunted him that he wasn’t more than a piece of meat or a mindless worker. Dan couldn’t recall Florian being among them and he knew he mustn’t be too bad because Daisy was a good judge of character but he couldn’t drop his reservations.

Daisy noticed his hesitance and reached out to carefully place a hand on Florian’s arm.

“Dan is not much for physical contact,” Daisy explained and Dan saw the moment Florian recognised him.

Would he be reprimanded for wandering around the castle while it was commonly known that the prince he belonged to was out of the castle?

“Ah, you must be Phil’s Dan,” Florian said and his choice of words made Dan’s stomach flip. “Nice to meet you. Daisy has spoken a lot of her best friend and you.”

He did a nod and offered Dan a friendly smile.

“Nice to meet you too?” Dan tried to say but his uncertainty made it sound more like a question.

“Well, we have to get going,” Daisy said and yanked on Florian arm. The height difference between them was almost comical, Daisy tiny and Florian even taller than Dan. “Talk to you later, Dan.”

Thoroughly baffled, Dan made his way back to Phil and their chambers. He had felt like a restless mess for the whole week since the wedding and having a bizarrely nice encounter with one of the royal guards didn’t help things.

He pushed open the door to their chambers but he froze in the doorway when he noticed that someone was standing by the window glancing out. Phil had been pretty adamant that people weren’t allowed in his chambers, mostly to offer Dan a safe space. The housemaids came by once a day but Dan didn’t mind them.

The gentleman by the window was no housemaid if his nobility clothing was anything to go by. Dan was just about to tuck tail and go back into the hallway. Phil would be home soon and he could just wait for him to deal with whoever had decided to lurk around their private space.

Unfortunately, the man spotted Dan and turned around with a brilliant smile that seemed almost predatory.

“Hello?” the man said and Dan sort of wished that he hadn’t been raised with manners and he could just haul arse out of here.

“Who are you?” he asked instead. He wasn’t rude enough to leave when addressed, partly also due to that damn obedience that had been knocked into him, but no one said he had to be nice to the trespasser.

“Well, I’m Ty Ramous, of course. But everyone calls me Rex, which is rather fitting since I’m now third in line to the throne.”

Dan’s jaw might have fallen off if it wasn’t attached. Say what?

~*~

Phil felt exhausted as he walked through the main gates of the castle. It had been a standard meeting with a local council, one that he only had to sit and pretend to listen at and while that normally wasn’t a problem, he had bigger things on his mind at the moment. Just that very morning the royal advisors had managed to confirm how Martyn’s disqualification had impacted the line to the throne.

It should have been rather easy but it had proved a much difficult tasks as none of the distant cousins had replied when called upon. It had turned out that there was a good reason for that. When it had first come back that one of them was deceased, the advisors had begun to seek out their vitality instead. Over a dozen had died mysteriously over the past year. Most of them had died due to a heart attack; some accidental drowning and some straight up just went missing without a trace, only to show up in the belly of carnivores from the forests.

The new third in line to the throne was the very last person Phil ever wanted near the reins of his beloved kingdom.

He had met Ty Ramous before when they had been children and Phil could still remember how he had been picking on Phil and trying to get him to make a scene. Ty had been shooting spitballs at him during a wedding and he had been most disappointed when Phil had just bowed his head and bore it.

He hadn’t seen the kid since then. He wanted to hope that Ty had grown up to be a reasonable adult and grown out of his mischievous and prankster phrase. But there had always been something in the eyes of that guy which had put Phil on edge.

He grumbled it now as he was making his way to his chambers, eager to talk to Dan about the progress in the case, even if it looked like mostly bad news. Phil had sensed how Dan had been getting more and more anxious and he could recognise the feeling of feeling unable to help a little too well.

But he couldn’t expect Dan to go into this fight for him. Dan didn’t have a horse in this race. Phil was more thankful for the support than he would ever admit but he didn’t want to drag Dan into this anymore than he needed to.

He was deep in thought as he pushed open the door to his chambers that he shared with Dan. He didn’t expect to almost run into Dan, who was standing just inside of the door. He most certainly didn’t expect to see none other than Ty Ramous across the room, looking every bit as mischievous as he had when he was twelve.

~*~

“What? Why are you shutting up?” the nobleman, this Rex character asked and there was a mockery in his voice at Dan’s silence. “Is it because personal servants aren’t allowed to speak unless spoken too?”

Dan wanted to run away even more than before. Rex stayed on the other side of the room but his graze was calculating and he was studying to see what kind of effect his words had had on Dan.

How the heck was this guy third in line to the throne? Did Phil know about this? And how the hell did he know about Dan’s status? Dan remembered the gossip from when Phil had first taken him on but it had declined rapidly quickly after.

The fact that Dan stepped into the room and let the door fall shut behind him, instead of backing down from the confrontation, spoke volumes to the confidence that Phil had instilled in him over the past couple of months.

“No, that is not why,” Dan replied. “I am simply baffled what you are doing in Prince Philip’s private quarters without permission.”

Rex scoffed, like he hadn’t expected Dan to stand his ground and give an eloquent reply.

“Phil and I are friends from childhood. He won’t mind,” Rex said with an air of fake certainty.

Dan knew it wasn’t true because Phil didn’t have any friends from childhood other than Daisy. He had met other royal and noble kids but he had never had a friendship with any of them. He had told Dan that he couldn’t stand most of them and as a rule preferred to distance himself from the way many of those privileged children acted.

Dan didn’t want to call the man out on his bullshit because it might show just how deep his knowledge of Phil went and that shouldn’t be common knowledge.

“Either way, I am afraid you should leave. The Prince has given strict instructions that no one must enter his chambers without permission, even old friends.”

“Huh,” Rex said thoughtfully and strolled along the windowsill and touched his fingertips over Phil’s plants. Dan wanted to slap his hand away. “Is that so no one interrupts when he press you into the mattress?”

His tone was nonchalant but Dan’s body wanted to coil away. It was horrible to be reminded how most people still thought of him and Phil. Gradually, people had become aware that Dan was on a much more lenient leash than most personal servants but they still assumed that Phil forced himself on Dan in the night.

Dan wanted to open his mouth and defend Phil but he couldn’t. If people knew how Phil really treated Dan, then it might threaten Phil’s claim on the throne and Dan would likely be reclaimed as one of the common personal servants for the castle, accessible to anyone who asked.

Thankfully, Dan was saved by the bell, or rather the door, which swung open as Phil stepped through. He almost fell into Dan, who was right in front of the door, and Dan reached out to catch Phil by the arm before he stumbled.

Rex was watching them with an intense gaze and Dan didn’t like it one bit.

~*~

“Dan, what is going on?” Phil whispered as he steadied himself with a hand on Dan’s shoulder.

“You’ve got an uninvited visitor,” Dan whispered back.

“Well, if it isn’t the main man himself. How do you do, Phil? You still prefer that to Philip, correct?” Rex said and moved towards the two of them.

He extended his hand for Phil to shake and Phil stepped around, putting himself as a buffer between the two of them.

“Philip works just fine,” he said with a chipped edge to his voice. “I’m surprised to see you, Ty.”

Ty’s grip on his hand was almost crushing and the smirk on his lips couldn’t be a good thing. What the hell was he doing here? Not just in the castle but in his actual chambers? At least, he had seemed to keep his distance from Dan but Phil didn’t want to know which kind of words Ty had already pushed onto Dan.

The spitballs had been nothing next to the taunts and digs Ty used to make when they were children.

“Ah, come on, old friend. You know all my friends call me Rex. Has it really been so long that you’ve forgotten?”

“Rex, it is then,” Phil said and pulled back his hand from the handshake. “I have not forgotten, but I must say I am rather surprised to find you here in my private chambers. I do not like people in here, regardless of old ties or not.”

Ty… Rex acted like Phil was being overdramatic but he really didn’t feel like he was. Other than Dan, Daisy and the housemaids, people didn’t come into his chambers and that had only become more important after he had started sharing the space with Dan.

“You always were rather withheld, weren’t you, Philly?” Rex asked as he glanced around before his gaze settled on Dan over Phil’s shoulder. “I must confess I am rather excited to learn about the personal servants law. It is a good system? Does it work well? It is everything from scrubbing floors to blowjobs?”

Phil almost chocked on the air and if he had been a dog his fur would have bristled. Dan surprised him by moving closer to his body rather than pulling backwards towards the door.

What kind of nerve of this guy…

He had been here only minutes and he was already praising a law that enslaved people. Phil shouldn’t have been surprised; he was always terrible towards staff, his countess and even people they had passed on the streets. They had only met a handful of times growing up and Phil was sure he had heard him snicker at someone with lower rank every single time.

“I will not answer that,” Phil said coldly. “And I think you should get out.”

“Oh, sensitive, are we? Is that a side effect? Beautiful eyes and a submissive nature and you step in to protect them? Perhaps, I should reconsider before taking someone on. I am under the impression that your uncle might like that. It was him who made the law and all and as officially a prince I better follow the incentives by the king, right?”

Phil balled his hands into firsts at his side so hard that the skin over his knuckles turned white. It felt like Rex was taunting him, like he knew way too much about the king’s whims.

“I’m right behind you now you know. Oh, and what a shame with your brother, Martyn. But I was only to be expected by someone who falls for a Bravian. They’re almost not royalty anyway.”

Going from insulting him and Dan to his family was only digging himself a deeper grave. Phil knew what Rex was doing. He was trying to get a rise out of him, just like when they were kids. He wanted Phil to explode and behave improperly. Phil wasn’t going to let him win.

“Wait, I heard that nobility loan out their personal servants right? Perhaps, I could have Danny here for a day and see if it suits me.”

Okay, Phil was done with the calm demeanour. He was talking about Dan, as if he wasn’t a person standing right in front of him. As if he was some object that could just be loaned out.

~*~

Dan sensed the sudden change in Phil at Rex’s words. He moved closer to Phil, discreetly laying a hand on the small of his back. Whatever words Phil had been about to shout at Rex seemed to die in his throat as he cleared it and took a breath before responding.

“Dan is excluded from the loaning agreement,” Phil said coldly. “And if you will have me excused. I have other matters to attend to and I need to change my clothes. I am sure we will be able to catch up somewhere that isn’t my chambers.”

Dan had been watching Rex with a keen eye and the man was doing a great job of keeping up his nonchalant and causal façade but Dan saw it crack slightly now. He wasn’t used to being dismissed. He was of noble birth and it seemed the newly and unofficial prince status had gone to his head already. He was furious that he couldn’t rile up Phil.

“Very well. I will see you at dinner, I suspect. Oh, and we will have plenty of time to catch up, Philly. As of today, I am moving in just down the hall.”

Phil paled as he moved back to allow Rex to step past and exit their chambers. Even as the door closed, a little more forcefully than necessary, Dan and Phil stayed rooted to the spot.

“What the hell…” Phil muttered and then he was dumping his butt on the sofa.

He brought his hands up to press the heel of them into his eyes as if that could erase all that had just passed.

Dan was trying very hard not to let Rex’s words take hold and fester. It was so easy to forget what he was when he was just hanging out with Phil or Daisy. And even the staff at the castle had gradually stopped caring as well.

The noblemen clearly weren’t ever going to forget that they had managed to completely control someone purely based on their lack of financial stability.

“Is it true, Phil?” Dan asked as he sat down next to him on the sofa, close enough that their legs were just gracing each other. “Is he really third in line to the throne?”

“Yes,” Phil choked out. “Unfortunately, it’s true. And he was right that I do know him from when we were kids. However, we only met a handful of times and he was always mean and horrible to me, so he is the furthest thing from a friend.”

Phil was clutching his fists painfully tight again and Dan reached over to place his hands over them, which instantly made Phil loosen his grip and look up to meet Dan’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Dan.”

“What? Why?”

“For all the things he said, while I was here and probably before. He had no right.”

“Well, he wasn’t exactly far off the point, was he? Objectively, what he said made sense. I am your personal servant and if you were any other, then…”

Phil pulled out his hands from under Dan’s and reached up to place his right index finger gently on Dan’s lips, very effectively stopping whatever he was going to say.

Phil might also have stopped his heart a little bit in the process. Dan wasn’t flinching or scared but the intimacy of the act hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t sure that Phil realised.

“It shouldn’t be the case objectively. It’s wrong if any allow themselves to mistreat someone, even if a hell law like that condones it. You should have common sense too and abusing people shouldn’t be something you did no matter the circumstances. Okay? You don’t ever let such thoughts into your head.”

Dan smiled at Phil’s sincerity and Phil’s finger tugged off to the side slightly before he pulled it back. It was reassuring that Phil always took the time to correct Dan’s screwed view. It was just difficult to shake sometimes when he had spent years of his life being told that he deserved what was coming to him and that he should just accept it.

“So, recap from the meeting this morning?” Dan asked, because Phil liked to go over the most important parts with Dan when he had the chance.

“Yeah, we actually just found out that Ty Ramous was the third in line but I have no idea how he got here so fast.”

~*~

Phil stayed and talked to Dan for the better part of an hour. Things always made more sense when he got to say them out loud and hear Dan’s input. Dan had a very structured way of looking at things and he was very quick to grasp concepts.

He might have been a tiny bit distracted because he could still feel the lingering sensation of being able to feel Dan’s soft, but chapped, lips move under his finger. He had wanted to lean in and kiss Dan then but he couldn’t. He could never allow himself to do that and he pushed away thoughts like that. They had been talking about respecting human rights and anything Phil did in that sense to Dan would not be consensual. Not as long as Dan was legally Phil’s personal servant.

So Phil tried to focus on the case instead and he walked down to dinner with a clearer head. At dinner, the king had introduced Rex with a lot of grandeur and he had sounded so genuinely happy.

It made Phil’s stomach turn. He knew why his uncle liked him. They were much too alike and Rex was the exact kind of person that the king could make into the same kind of ruler that he was.

Now it was more important than ever that Phil kept his place and claim to the throne. He could not let it fall into Rex’s hands.

It didn’t help that the normal assortment of lords and ladies all fawned at Rex. He was called charming more than ten time throughout the dinner. Phil couldn’t see the appeal. Sure, objectively he was handsome with his blonde locked, sun kissed skin and dashing smile. He told jokes and showered people in compliments but it was all a ruse. He was playing a part and Phil didn’t know him well but he had the most recent encounter from his chambers burned into his mind.

He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

After dinner, Phil was rushing to get back to Dan when his father had come up to him and placed a palm on his shoulder. Phil had felt instantly worried because his father had _that look_ in his eyes.

He only ever looked like that when it was something serious. Phil had tried to look to his mother for reassurance but she had just smiled and nudged him back towards his father. As the dinner party broke up, the two of them made it to his parents’ private drawing room.

“A drink?” his father asked, lifting the expensive crystal glass, which contained some undoubtedly outrageously expensive alcohol.

“No, I’m good,” Phil said, even as his throat felt dry. He didn’t need liquid courage to talk to his father but he would wish that he would stop moving around so slowly and just get to the point.

“Your illness is not worse, is it?” Phil asked and he felt like his eyes were already tearing up. On top of everything else, he couldn’t handle the thought that he might lose his father. They had never been as close as Phil was with his mother but he loved his father dearly and he was a very important person in his life.

The crown prince chuckled hollowly. “No, it is still the same estimated time by Doctor Day. How is Daisy, by the way?”

Phil thought about what Dan had just told him about Daisy dating one of the guards, Florian but it wasn’t like the information that his father was looking for. He still needed time to figure out what was going on there by himself.

“She is fine, Dad, but please stay on topic. What did you want to see me about in private if not your illness?”

“Son, please take a seat, you’re making me anxious standing there and fidgeting.”

Phil instantly dropped the hand that had been playing with his cuff and sat down with his hands in his lap and willed them to stay there.

“I don’t need to tell you how important it is that you keep up with your royal responsibilities. I know you know. I know you have made many sacrifices to cater to the whims of my tactless brother. But you must also know that one of those responsibilities will be marriage to a suitable princess. It is even more important now after what happened with Martyn and Cornelia. Bless them.”

Phil nodded tensely. He knew this. He had known it his whole life. He would marry a princess from a good family, whether he loved her or not. It had been something he had had a long time to accept. He thought he had fully accepted it but lately, he had felt more and more resistant towards the idea. He really hoped it didn’t have anything to do with beautiful brown eyes.

“There is an official search for your future bride on-going right now. But as your father I have precedence over the king. I still intend to stall for as long as I am able, my dear Philip. And I promise you to find a wonderful girl. One you can fall in love with, even if marriage has to come first. I want your happiness more than anything.”

Unlike Phil, his father wasn’t a very tactile person but Phil flung himself into his arm and gave him a gentle hug not to rattle his fragile bones. He loved his parents so much and he was so thankful for the way they had raised him.

And they were still looking out for him. His mother often spoke up in his defence, however sneakily, and his father would try to help him find love within the parameters they had to work with.

It still didn’t feel good to imagine waking up with someone other than Dan in his chambers but that was the life he had and he couldn’t change that. The most he could do was try to make it the best one possibly.

He didn’t even want to think about what an engagement would mean for him and Dan. It wouldn’t be good, so instead Phil just let himself find comfort in his father’s embrace.

“Thank you, Dad. I know you just want what is best for me,” Phil said as he pulled back from the hug.

“I am so proud of you, Philip,” his father said and placed a hand on his shoulder once again and looked into his eyes. “And I am truly sorry that you have to carry so much on your shoulders but you are doing a marvellous job. You are much capable than you give yourself credit for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Two new characters introduced! Do let me know your first impressions of them. Both will come to play a part in the story at a later time. And my heart just melted during the scene where Phil pauses to reassure Dan and remind him that he should never allow the faulty logic that he is worthless fester in his mind. 
> 
> I hope you all have had a wonderful start to December! 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 9th of December.


	19. The Girl Who Didn't Get Saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex was getting on Dan and Phil's nerves but they had not been prepared for his next power move. None of them had let their thoughts dwell too much on the day they met but something brought all of that horribleness to the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Non-con touching (not DnP obviously) and vague mention of rape

After having Rex staying at the castle for two weeks, Dan was thoroughly done with him. The prince-by-luck seemed to be doing everything to get on his and Phil’s nerves. Dan wasn’t sure why the King hadn’t given him any bloody prince responsibilities that could keep him occupied and out of their hair.

Phil’s family’s team of trusted researchers were still working on the case of trying to overthrow the decision regarding Martyn’s claim to the throne but it was looking more and more grim with each day that passed.

Another grimmer pattern had emerged in the investigation as well and Dan almost hadn’t believed Phil when they’d done their usual catch up in their chambers.

“Wait? A year ago Rex was number twenty something to the throne? How the hell did he move up the ranks that fast?” Dan had asked in disbelief.

“That’s where things get really bad,” Phil said. “Everyone in front of him died or disappeared. Most a natural causes of death like heart attacks and such but there must be foul play, right?” Phil had said, glancing over the notes he’d taken during the meeting.

They kept discussing back and forth, trying to work out if some of the deaths might be really natural or which might have be been murdered. The royal advisors had sent out people to try and track down the ones that hadn’t been announced dead but rather had just up and disappeared.

Neither Dan nor Phil was very optimistic that they would find anyone.

Rex’s lurking did nothing to help their mood. He would constantly come bother them in the library or in the garden almost as if he was making it his damn life mission to intercept them. Dan was just thankful that he hadn’t been sitting and playing on the piano on the first day that Rex had dropped by the library unannounced.

If anyone saw him play that… there might be trouble. Dan was pretty sure personal servants weren’t supposed to play on such a precious heirloom. Even if the castle fund had actually paid him to do so without knowing whom he was. He was fairly sure he shouldn’t use that as his excuse as to why he was allowed to play on it.

Unfortunately, Rex tendency to drop by unannounced meant that Dan stopped playing unless they knew for certain that Rex was out of castle, which wasn’t nearly often enough. It was so tempting to glace over that the piano and knowing he couldn’t play it.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t enjoying finally getting into reading some of the countless of books that Phil had been recommending him but… he missed playing the piano. He didn’t have a lot of free spaces, even if he had more with Phil than he had had with anyone else in the last three years, and he treasured them dearly.

~*~

Phil was just as on edge about Rex as Dan was, even if he was much better at hiding it than the brunet. Dan instantly tensed up whenever Rex suddenly popped into a room without any warning and Phil could practically feel the tension rolling off him.

And then there was the uncomfortable revelation of just how far down the list Rex had been until recently.

The fact that Rex might have been part of the plot to murder so many people in order to get his hands on the throne was chilling, especially because he now was at the same location as the remaining three people separating him from the throne. If he decided being third in line wasn’t high enough either…

Phil didn’t want him anywhere near his father and not really his uncle for that matter but that was more of a selfish thing because if his uncle passed and his father abdicated, then Phil would be king. He wasn’t ready. He was still trying to wrap his head around how that was a real thing.

When Dan grew too restless, Phil suggested a walk in the garden. Summer had been over for a while but the autumn had been fairly warm up until now but the temperature was dropping and it was clear that winter would be here fairly soon.

Back at their chambers, Phil pulled out a thick coat, similar to his own and handed it to Dan.

“Phil, you’ve got to stop getting me such expensive stuff,” Dan argued but pulled on the jacket anyway.

“Nonsense,” Phil said and brushed it off, grapping Dan by the sleeve and pulling him along. “You need to stay warm. Winter will be here soon.”

Phil caught how Dan shook his head while trying and failing to hide an endearing smile. The change of the seasons meant that the garden was changing too. That was one of the reasons that Phil loved it so much.

It was a reminder that you always got a chance to start over and bloom again. Nothing was in bloom year-around but that didn’t make any of the flowers or plants less beautiful. It was difficult watching them wither and die but if handled properly, new sprouts would come in the spring and Phil was always a sucker for that part.

They walked around side-by-side, shoulders sometimes brushing each other. Phil for the briefest moment entertained the idea of moving his hand a little to make it catch Dan’s. They were walking so close already, so it wouldn’t really need that much adjustment.

Why did he want to hold Dan’s hand?

It was such a silly thing to wish for and yet he felt the desire build in his chest. He wasn’t sure how Dan would react if he did it but mostly, he was scared of what implications the action might bring.

However, he stopped dwelling on the topic entirely when Rex stepped out in front of them. Much like the library, he had also quickly figured out their fondness for the garden and he invaded their space here just as much.

He usually came alone though.

Now a young girl stood beside him. Short, beautiful and without a much-needed coat in the autumn chill.

Phil was confused for a beat until she looked up and he recognised her face with a start.

~*~

Dan had been ready to drop a sarcastic comment to Rex like usual but his words died in his throat when he was who was standing next to him.

Dan’s entire world felt like it was beginning to crumble at the edges. It couldn’t be. He never really allowed his mind to go back to that day. That whole day had been locked away with so many other awful memories but he felt it come surging to the surface without his permission.

He had been so lucky when Phil had picked him and Dan had purposely pushed out the thoughts of all the others like him. He remembered the five people he’d been shackled too but he couldn’t let himself think of them. It was the way he had survived in the system for three years before Phil. You _had_ to stop caring about the others like you. You learnt to turn your eyes away. You were completely powerless to help and trying would be futile. It was a lesson you had to learn fast or you would be destroyed.

It still felt like a twist to his gut to see one of the girls that had been with him that fated day in the Grand Hall. It hurt even more too see Rex’s hand resting on her shoulder.

For a long beat, none of them said anything. Dan and Phil were both too shocked in their recognition, the girl probably had been told not to speak and Rex was just grinning like he was watching a great puppet show.

“Nice to meet you out here, Phil. I’ve been keeping an eye on you to see how I should treat my own personal servant and I figured a walk in the garden might be nice,” Rex said coolly.

Dan’s blood ran hot. The girl was still in her shackles, as many personal servants were unfortunately. He wanted to step up and force Rex’s hands off her immediately but he couldn’t do that.

Phil wouldn’t stop him but he couldn’t undermine Phil in front the person who had spent the past two weeks getting extra chummy with the king. It was a too dangerous play.

“I thought you didn’t want a personal servant,” Phil said. Dan caught the slight tremble in his prince’s voice but he wasn’t sure that Rex would when he didn’t know Phil’s register as well as Dan did.

“I thought I should, it being tradition and all,” Rex said and flashed a smile at the girl and then back at Phil. “She’s a real firecracker in bed.”

Dan’s vision did go black for a moment. The girl was of age to have ended up in the system but he doubted that she had reached her nineteenth birthday yet and she didn’t _look_ older than sixteen.

The worst thing was that as his words, the girl smiled seemingly genuinely and looked at Rex adoringly. It made Dan want to vomit. Coerced relationships were always a mix of smokescreens and misconceptions. Dan had known some personal servants that just went with whatever people wanted of them to avoid the punishment that came from disobeying. Some chose to play along like happy dolls to make the existence more bearable.

Other had the disobedience beaten out of them through months and months of torture. Dan didn’t want to let his mind go there or access the very personal information he had on the topic.

“Besides, I see how much use you have out of yours, Phil,” Rex continued and he let go of the girl and stepped way too close for Dan’s comfort. He most of all wanted to head-butt him or raise his knee to damage his balls. Before, he would have cowered in the presence of someone like Rex but he kept eye contact and didn’t back down one inch.

Dan had a good few inches on Rex as well and he was using those to his full advantage. Damn, it felt good to look down on the smug bastard. Before he had damned his height because it made people feel like he was challenging them and thus he was hurt but right now he utilised his full height proudly. He couldn’t interfere but he certainly didn’t need to back down.

“But _yours_ could use a little training, Phil,” Rex said and raised his hand as if to smack Dan over the back of the head to make him look to the ground. But Phil’s hand came flying out and caught Rex’s wrist before he ever touched Dan.

~*~

It was too much. Seeing that poor little girl play a perfect submissive already and all of Rex’s taunting. When he raised his hand to touch Dan in any way, Phil stepped in on instinct.

“You keep your hands off him,” Phil said in an even voice but the threat in his voice was still very clear. It was not a request to be ignored.

“Tsk, tsk. Always so protective, weren’t you, Philly?” Rex said and smiled like he was absolutely delighted. “But I sense that’s because you got a little emotionally attached to your charge. I read somewhere that it isn’t recommended. They’re just like objects, remember?”

Rex was doing this on purpose. Phil had no doubt about that. He was saying things he knew would rub Phil the wrong way but Phil had too much self-control to let him snap. He had spent his whole life hiding his true thoughts and smiling politely even when he didn’t want to. It would take more than the bully of Rex to change that.

“You should get her a coat if you take her out here,” Phil said and let his eyes drift back to the girl’s form. She was a slim girl and Phil could visibly see the goose pimples on her arms. “The staff room has several ones.”

“Huh,” Rex commented. “You don’t mind, do you, babe?”

Phil tried to ignore the nickname as much as he could.

“No,” the girl said and Phil didn’t catch any deceit in her voice but had she already been brainwashed so much by Rex? Or by the people who had rented her, as one of the castle’s common personal servants? She looked way too young to be involved in something like this and Phil was feeling all sort of guilt over the situation.

Dan had gone stoically quiet and Phil didn’t like it one bit. Dan usually didn’t speak much around Rex or anyone other than Phil and Daisy really but Phil could feel the tension rolling off Dan. Neither of them had reacted very well to the ambush.

“Well, if you will excuse us. We need to head back in,” Phil said. “Nice to meet you, miss. What is your name?”

The girl looked up at Rex instead of answering but he just shrugged.

“Names don’t matter for them, Phil. All they officially have is the tracking code of their chip. I memorised that if you want it?” Rex said nonchalantly and as if it was the most normal thing.

If Phil had had even an ounce of violent behaviour in his bones, he would have wanted to punch Rex right in the face. Instead, he wondered what words he could say to wipe that smug face of his look instead or if there was any damn way to attack the law without jeopardising everything he had worked towards his whole life.

But outwardly, Phil just gave a short nod and a polite smile.

“Excuse us,” he said and reached over to briefly place his hand on the small of Dan’s back to guide him around Rex and the girl whose name apparently didn’t matter. Phil dropped his hand as soon as they were around them but him and Dan walked in quick steps back to their chambers.

Not a single word was exchange between them.

~*~

Mistake.

Dan kept thinking of that word since Rex had interrupted their walk in the garden. All of this had been one big mistake. Phil had chosen Dan when he should have picked that girl.

Dan remembered how she had looked before, as the memories unforgivingly had come flooding back upon the sight of her. She had been scared shitless and whispering with one of the older girls they had been tied to. She had been asking for advice on how to manage everything. Dan hadn’t paid much attention as he was too busy caught up in his own misery but he had seen enough.

The girl who had stood before him now wasn’t the same he had seen in the Grand Hall four months ago. She was something different. Phil talked about Dan’s cold and hard eyes and Dan had never quite understood what Phil had meant by that until he saw the girl’s eyes.

Emptiness. Detachment. Void of emotion.

Cold, hard eyes.

Phil had made a grave mistake in picking Dan. He should have picked anyone else. Dan was broken beyond repair but that girl hadn’t been broken yet. Maybe Phil could actually have saved her.

They made it to their chambers and Phil instantly flopped down on the bed and started pulling at his hair. He looked utterly distressed and Dan wondered if he was thinking the same things. He had the shot to save one personal servant from the hellish life and he had picked Dan.

Stupid Dan who certainly didn’t deserve to be saved and protected by someone like Phil.

“We fucked up,” Dan muttered as he took his usual spot by the window. The section of the garden visible from the window thankfully didn’t feature Rex and the girl or maybe they had already gone inside.

“What?” Phil asked and genuinely sounded confused.

Dan let his back fall against the wall and turned his eyes from the window to the bed where Phil was sitting with hair sticking out in all directions. In the midst of all this horribleness and crushing guilt, a small smile found Dan’s lips at the adorableness of the sight. However, the smile didn’t linger.

“When your uncle made you choose…” Dan said. “You shouldn’t have picked me, Phil.”

The fastest Dan had ever seen Phil move, the prince leapt off the bed and came storming towards Dan with firm steps. Dan leaned back a little more against the wall, pressing his back flatly to it as Phil stopped just in front of him and held out a pointer finger.

His chest was heaving and his eyes looked so intense that Dan almost forgot to breathe. Their faces were so close and Dan could feel the faint air of exhale on his cheek. Phil still didn’t speak but his eyes were a mess of emotions. Dan had never been able to tell but Phil’s eyes weren’t just blue; they had shades of yellow and green in them as well.

He was so beautiful, even if he looked utterly furious at the moment.

Dan should be scared to be cornered by a furious looking man, even if their bodies didn’t touch at any point. However, Phil had earned his trust long ago and the faint shivers of past abuse stayed fairly in check.

“You are wrong, Dan.”

“Phil, you…”

“No,” Phil interrupted. “You cannot make me feel bad for choosing you and getting you away from the abuse you would have gone through. Do I wish I could have saved the girl too? Of course I do, especially right now. But if I could go back and just choose one of you, what do you think I would do?”

Phil’s words were so intense that Dan was a little afraid of opening his mouth. However, it turned out to have been a rhetorical question, which worked out well because Dan wasn’t able to find his voice at all.

“I would choose _you_ again. I wouldn’t change picking you, Dan. I went with my gut and I have never been more thankful. Knowing the girl and the others suffer at the hand of the law of my uncle is horrifying and soul-destroying but I would not leave you behind.”

Dan’s eyes were stinging and maybe he was already crying. When was the last time he had cried? He couldn’t even remember.

“I’m not worth it. I’m broken, Phil,” Dan choked out and his voice sounded heavy with tears already.

Phil’s face softened into a fond smile. Phil shouldn’t be looking at him like that. He really wasn’t worth it. He would never get over all of the trauma. He would always be broken in some ways. There was no saving him, no matter how hard Phil tried. The noble prince should focus his efforts on the people who were less damaged.

“You are worth saving, Dan. I don’t care about broken pieces. You deserved to be picked just as much as any of the people you were shackled to. You are not any less worthy. I picked you then and I am still choosing you now, Dan,” Phil said and suddenly there was the swipe of a warm thumb under his eyes.

The touch was so gentle and comforting that Dan almost stopped breathing. Phil followed up the action under Dan’s other eye. He was wiping away the tears that Dan hadn’t even felt falling.

“But out of me and that girl…” Dan tried to argue.

“You are worth just as much, Dan. I am in horrified over Rex taking control of that girl but her fate does not make yours less worthy. None of you deserve what is happening to you because of my uncle’s cruel law. It’s not right.”

“But I found you,” Dan said and wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. “Or you found me and… since you did… things have been different.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Phil said with a reassuring smile.

This all felt like a little too much for Dan. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to keep talking because there was a bundle of emotions and nerves dancing around in his stomach that he didn’t properly understood.

Phil would have picked him again.

Dan leaned forward to wrap Phil up in a tight hug. Phil’s arms came around his instantly and they said with the hug some of the things they couldn’t say with their words.

~*~

Phil hadn’t been prepared for that reaction from Dan. He was so caught off guard but he probably shouldn’t have been. Dan had a tendency to be self-deprecating and he had made it obvious several times that he didn’t put much value on his life.

It hurt Phil’s heart but he understood how Dan had gotten there.

Dan had been through so much and he couldn’t see an end to any of this. Unless someone could do anything to the law, he would die as a personal servant without basic human rights. The law was such a financial stronghold that many of the country’s riches supported it. Of course they did, they had the money to save their children from the horrible consequences.

The people who got enslaved were the poor.

It was always the poor who suffered in situations like this.

Phil had trouble falling asleep that night. He kept seeing the image of Rex and the girl whose name he didn’t even know. He saw Rex’s hand on her shoulder, possessively displaying ownership. He saw the girl act love-stuck and submissive, probably to appease the man who held power over her.

The images made Phil feel sick. Perhaps it was a good thing. It was easy to forget what actually happened to most personal servants because Phil did his damn best to stay as far away from people who kept personal servants. He didn’t want anything to do with anyone who thought it was morally okay to enslave someone else.

Objectively, it probably made him sound like a hypocrite since he had had Dan in his charge for over four months.

It felt different with Dan. Dan was his friend. Dan trusted him and Phil would never do anything to hurt him. He didn’t even ask him to do usual staff assignments.

But he knew what it looked like to people on the outside. Prince Philip was just another royal taking advantage of his position of power. Maybe he should have let himself get disowned a long time ago so he didn’t have to grow up with all of this pretend.

It had ruined him in a way that people couldn’t see. He always had to think before he spoke or did anything. His every action could be scrutinised and if he failed, he would be letting his whole family down.

He felt like he had let that girl down. She had been here for over four months, as property of the castle and Phil had just decided to ignore the fact because he didn’t like it. Turning the other eye to something horrible was also a crime. You should step in and do something.

Phil didn’t regret for one second picking Dan but he wished he could somehow also pick all of the others and get them out of the clutches of people who wanted to hurt them. However, it wasn’t logistically possible and when it came down to it Phil was probably a horrible charge of personal servants.

He had never seen Dan as his personal servant and if he took on any more that might only become more obvious. Phil knew that Dan was special and not just because of the way the brunet kept all of his secrets or provided a shoulder to lean on when times got tough. Phil wasn’t sure what he’d seen in Dan’s eyes that fateful day but he couldn’t be more thankful for his choice, even in the light of recent events.

“Phil?” Dan called out and Phil audibly yelped as he sat up in his bed, surprised to find Dan awake.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You keep tossing and turning. Do you want to go for a walk?” Dan asked, his voice patient as ever.

Phil’s heart melted a little. Over the past months, they had gotten so many silly little rituals together. Phil wasn’t sure what he would do without Dan in his life, no matter how selfish that thought was.

“No,” Phil declined. “I’m okay… Just, a lot on my mind, you know?”

“Oh, I know,” Dan said with a slight chuckle in his throat. “Phil?”

“Hmm?”

“You were right before. You didn’t do anything wrong by picking me. You were backed into a corner, like you so often are and you did the best you could. You always do the best you can… Please don’t start blaming yourself for things out of your control.”

Something about Dan’s words went right to Phil’s heart and squeezed it. He felt a little breathless.

“I know,” Phil whispered.

The guilt was still there, heavy in his chest but Phil felt a little lighter after Dan’s reassurances. They had each other’s back when they needed it the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? My poor little boys! I'm curious to know if any of you thought a lot about all the other people who are enslaved by the law? But man, I loved writing that scene where Dan is up the wall, crying for the first time in months and months while Phil reassures him that he would have chosen him. Fun fact, I had a lot of trouble naming this story and one of my considerations was: I Picked You Then, And I’m Still Choosing You Now (one of Phil's lines in this chapter). Also, there's finally a bit of the notion of both of them being broken addressed (as in reference to the title), which will be mentioned at a later stage too. 
> 
> How is everyone handling December? I still have presents to buy, exams to complete and Christmas social events. Also, (like I didn't have enough to do) I'm attempting to upload a piece of writing every day of December (just like I did in August when I first started posting this story). If you're interested in more of my writing check out my AO3 profile or my tumblr [@secretlywritingstories](http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com). Right, sorry for the long author's note. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up in a week, on Saturday the 16th of December.


	20. Heartbreak on the Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan knew he had to speak to Rex's personal servant. Meanwhile, Phil and his whole family got even more bad news - devastating ones this time. (Trigger warnings in the top notes also include spoilers!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: unhealthy coping mechanisms in an abusive relationship, chronic illness and minor character death

Dan had tried not to let Phil’s reassuring words go to his heart. It proved rather difficult. No one had ever made it so obvious how much they valued having Dan in their lives. It was a whole now level of reassurance and Dan found that it was beginning to breed something else as a result.

He couldn’t let himself get attached to Phil like that. He already liked the prince more than what was appropriate. Phil was an actual prince for fuck’s sake and within a couple of years he would be married to a princess and Dan would be…

Out of the picture.

It wouldn’t do him any good to start indulging thoughts of what-ifs, which would never be able to happen. He had gone through enough hurt in his life and he didn’t need more self-inflicted harm.

If only Phil would stop looking so good or acting so sweet all the time. It was just usual Phil but every kind action made something tighten in Dan’s stomach. His heart was foolish if it thought trying to get Phil was a good idea.

Their situation was so fucked up and throwing in pining like a teenager wasn’t on Dan’s agenda at all. So he shoved it down as best he could manage.

Instead, Dan focused on something else. Phil was still busy with the family advisors and researchers in trying to find loopholes to work to their advantage. In the mean time, Dan made it his mission to get a moment alone with Rex’s new personal servant.

Phil had been a horrible mess the night after they had met her for the first time. Phil hadn’t even wanted to go on a calming walk, which he usually jumped at the chance to do. Dan knew neither of them would get peace of mind before they had a little more information.

It took roughly a week before Dan managed to time so that he could drop by Rex’s room and the new prince wouldn’t be anywhere near the castle. The last thing he wanted was to be caught in the chambers of someone else. Dan wasn’t sure what claim rules worked then.

Dan didn’t even knock, he just opened the door and walked right in and he found the girl sitting on the bed while looking down at her hands. She flinched when the door swung open and it was a motion Dan was all too familiar with.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“You are not supposed to be here,” she said without raising her eyes to meet Dan’s.

“I know but I wanted to talk to you. One personal servant to another,” Dan explained as he gently shut the door behind him.

“Rex says not to talk to anyone,” she muttered.

“Rex isn’t here,” Dan said.

“He might know, somehow. He’s… strange,” she said and started twisting her hands and wrists in her lap.

“I don’t mean to cause you any trouble. I truly don’t. Do you remember me? Do you remember that we were both in the Grand Hall over four months ago?” Dan asked and took a step closer into the chambers.

“Yes,” the girl answered simply.

“Good. I’m Dan Howell. What is your name?”

“Names don’t matter to people like us,” she said in the smallest voice and if Dan wasn’t mistaken her eyes were starting to look a little red-rimmed.

“Yes, they do. I know what Rex said but you are still so much more than a number on a tracking chip. You’re still a person, no matter what the law will tell you. Don’t let it take away your humanity. It already took our freedom.”

The girl let out a hollow chuckle. “Amanda.”

“Amanda, nice to meet you,” Dan said.

“Dan, how are you out of shackles? Everyone – Rex and the ones who rented me – always said personal servant stays in their shackles.”

“Err… Phil is quite special,” Dan said and then hesitated. He wanted to tell Amanda that Phil wasn’t actually keeping him like a personal servant but it was too risky. She could pass on that information to Rex who could pass it on to the King and then Phil would be in trouble. Dan couldn’t trust Amanda to keep the secret.

“He seems nice,” Amanda said. “Rex is… actually nice too. Much nicer than some of the temporary ones. They are… rough and mean. Rex actually makes me feel loved. I think he cares for me.”

There was a naïve hope in her voice and Dan didn’t want to be the one to crush it but at the same time he knew he had to. It wasn’t healthy to think that way. Anyone who took advantage of you, physically or emotionally, didn’t care for you, at least not genuinely because if they did they would never allow the abuse.

Seeing Amanda so pliable and submissive brought up bad memories for Dan and he rushed to push them back to the dark corner of his mind where they lived. He could not afford to open that can of worms under any circumstances.

“I’m sorry, Amanda, but he doesn’t. If he makes you have sex with him when you don’t want to, it’s not okay, even if he isn’t rough and foulmouthed like others.”

Amanda shrugged and looked up to meet Dan’s eyes. There they were again; the cold and cynical eyes that Dan had gotten so used to seeing when he looked into any mirror. It was the eyes of someone who had given up.

“It’s better to pretend,” she said in a whisper. “Pretend is nicer.”

Dan didn’t argue with that. He couldn’t argue with people’s coping mechanism, especially when he couldn’t do a single thing to help her.

~*~

Phil hadn’t been able to get the thoughts of the castle collection of personal servants out of his head for the past week. He had done some subtle enquiries and the castle had more than a dozen young and objectively beautiful individuals. Furthermore, there were a couple of dozen, mostly adult men, which were kept somewhere else. The former were people kept purely for sexual satisfaction and the latter was a group that were sent out to do all the crap manual labour jobs that the castle didn’t want to pay anyone to do.

It had been so easy to turn the other eye to what was going on under his nose. He had grown up in a world that he didn’t quite like and he had gotten used to only looking at the good part for his own sanity. But ever since Dan had entered his life, things had been changed. He couldn’t just stick his head in the ground like an ostrich anymore.

He stayed behind after one of the meetings with the royal advisors as he felt more like pulling his hair out. They were getting nowhere with finding something that could reinstate Martyn. Additionally, all the missing members to the throne that had held a position before Rex was now confirmed dead but there was no evidence of foul play anywhere, even if it didn’t make sense that so many people had died within a year.

Looking over his notes and feeling hopeless, Phil almost jumped when someone put a hand on his shoulder. He glanced behind him to see the concerned face of his big brother.

“Hey Martyn,” Phil said and turned his attention back to his useless notes.

Martyn and Cornelia had only been back for a little while after their long honeymoon. It sounded like they had had a great time and Phil was thrilled for them. He had been so scared that their uncle’s stunt would have impacted the happy married couple’s period of bliss.

“Staring at your notes won’t change anything,” Martyn said and then pulled out a chair next to Phil and sat down.

“Having these meetings don’t seem to get us anywhere either,” Phil replied. “It’s hopeless. We can’t get you back and anyone decent that might be below me is dead, probably not due to natural causes but we can’t prove anything!”

“Phil, I know it’s frustrating but we just have to keep at it. Something’s got to give,” Martyn said, ever the optimist.

“Our country is falling apart. You won’t be our future king. More and more people are enslaved as personal servants with each passing day.”

“I won’t be king, Phil. But you will be a wonderful king one day, of that I have no doubt.”

“Only if dear old uncle don’t manoeuvre me out before that happens,” Phil said with a sigh.

He was so terrified to make a misstep, even more so now that Martyn wasn’t there to protect the throne as well. It felt like too big a responsibility and Phil knew it wouldn’t take much of a mistake to make himself ineligible in his uncle’s eyes.

“You have been in perfect control for twenty five years. Why would that change now?” Martyn asked with genuine curiosity.

Everything had changed lately and it was going to be too much. Ever since their uncle had forced Dan into Phil’s life, things had been different. Not all in a bad way, certainly not, but things just felt different and so many changes had followed. Martyn had gotten married and then disowned.

It was the thing they had been trained to avoid their entire life and yet it had happened to careful and sensible Martyn who had actually wanted to carry the crown one day. Phil wasn’t sure he wanted anywhere near that piece of jewellery and he was more busy trying to function with the fated law that had brought him his new best friend.

“Everything is different, Martyn,” Phil confessed. “I can feel it in the air. It’s like things have been set in motion recently and everything that happened before is insignificant to what happens now.”

“Huh,” Martyn said thoughtfully.

“What?”

“You sound oddly like I felt when on the day that I met Cornelia. It was like everything in my life up until that point was in black and white and she brought all of these colours into my life. And I knew, from then on that things would always be different because I met her.”

Phil didn’t trust himself to reply. His point of change had been the arrival of Dan but it couldn’t be the same. Dan was also a power play from their uncle and probably just very well-timed or something.

He certainly couldn’t be the person who brought colour into Phil’s grey world.

~*~

Things went back to normal over the next couple of weeks, or at least as normal as thing could be at the castle. Dan had told Phil about his conversation with Amanda and Phil had been thrilled to learn her name, even though he got terrified when he learned that Dan had gone into Rex’s chambers to talk to her.

Apparently that was an open invitation to take advantage of Dan, so Dan was ever thankful that he had made it out before Rex had returned.

Rex was still a pain in the ass but he harassed the two of them a little less in the library and garden but it still felt like their sanctuaries had been compromised. They were talking about it one day while Daisy were present and she came up with a solution Dan hadn’t know existed.

“Phil, why don’t you two use the old attic room to hang out? No one will bother you there,” she said and Dan felt thoroughly confused.

“Oh my goodness, I forgot about that!” Phil exclaimed and his eyes started to sparkle like Christmas lights.

Dan looked to Daisy for explanation because Phil looked way too caught up in the excitement.

“It’s this attic space that Phil and I found when we were children. It was just used for storage but it proved the perfect place for a secret den where we could play just the two of us, so Phil didn’t have to worry about other kids,” Daisy answered.

Dan was hit with a slight wave of jealousy, which he wasn’t sure where came from. He had sort of wished that he had been in Phil’s life as a kid too. Finding secret hang outs with your best friends sounded so much better than being bullied and sneaking off to the old pub to play piano for the world to make sense again.

“Are you sure you want me up there?” Dan asked Daisy. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries of their friendship. He knew how important it was to Phil and if this place was theirs, then perhaps Dan should just stay away.

“Of course,” Daisy said without a single beat of hesitation. “The more the merrier, Dan. Anyone who gets to see the real Prince Philip is welcome.”

“You’re a genius, Daisy,” Phil said and rushed to her side to give her a hug. She giggled but hugged him back.

Their interactions tugged at Dan’s heart again. They had so much history together and he was thankful that Phil had had Daisy in his life growing up but it was becoming increasingly hard to realise there was so much of the wonder that was Phil Lester which he would never get to know.

The attic room was quite a bit dusty but otherwise it was perfect. It was secluded and it had a big window with a space to sit in. Dan and Phil dragged up new pillows and blankets and made it super cosy. Phil transported a few of his favourite books up there too.

And he had another surprise for Dan. An electronic keyboard.

“I know it’s not my grandmother’s piano but I thought it might substitute the urge to play a tiny bit. And it’s all yours. We’ll still make sure to check when Rex is out of castle, so we can go down and you can play a proper piano.”

Dan was just so touched by the gesture that he had pulled Phil into a hug. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve such a lovely friend.

~*~

Having Daisy remind him of their old attic room-hiding place as a godsend. It was so nice to have another spot that was just theirs and one Rex didn’t even know the location of, so he had no way to drop by and ruin their tranquillity.

Something that did begin to ruin Phil’s tranquillity, however, was his father.

It felt like it happened from one day to the next. Crown prince Lester had always been weak in his adult years, as the chronic illness had taken more and more hold of his body. He couldn’t stay on his feet without a cane for very long and he had to sleep twelve hours to stay functioning at all.

But when his health took a deep dive for the worse, Phil felt like everything around him was crumbling. Suddenly, his father couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone stand on his feet without support.

Doctor Day was called immediately but he couldn’t do anything other than confirm that the crown prince’s condition had worsen severely. It was ahead of schedule but it was a rare disease and any measurements wouldn’t be a hundred per cent accurate.

But Doctor Day had said two to ten years before. Now he was too scared to give an estimate. At least to Phil and Martyn.

Phil tried to get Daisy to confess what her father might know but it was clear that he hadn’t told his daughter anything either. Every single day, the doctor stopped by Phil’s father’s bed and ran some tests but nothing good came of it. He got a heightened dose of his medication but that didn’t seem to help either.

Phil started moving around like a zombie and he could feel Daisy and Dan’s concern but he couldn’t snap out of it. His father’s health was rapidly declining with every day that passed and it was torture to go to sleep every night and worry that he would wake up fatherless.

When the development of his brother’s illness had been brought to the King’s attention, he had been rather cold and cynical as usual. He had commissioned Doctor Day to take as many hours as he needed to treat the patient but that had been it.

There had been no remorse or sadness in the King’s expression and Phil’s hatred for his uncle grew exponentially.  

If it had been Martyn who had been ill, Phil had would have been breaking apart at the seams but their uncle barely spared his brother a sad frown.

For a whole month, their father’s health kept diminishing.

Phil didn’t want to face it but he knew he couldn’t hide from it forever. It was inevitable by now. They would lose him. One might argue that Phil should have been preparing himself for that after having his father be diagnosed with a chronic illness and having declined in health for a long period of time, but Phil didn’t feel ready.

He wasn’t sure he would ever feel ready to say goodbye to his father.

No one was every really ready for someone they loved to die.

Phil had been a rubbish friend but Dan had been a great one. He had been physically dragging Phil out on late night walks when Phil couldn’t sleep. He played the piano for Phil whenever possible. He made sure to fill the air with bad jokes and familiar banter.

He was a big light in this time of tragedy and Phil wasn’t sure Dan knew just how much he was helping.

“He’s going to die,” Phil whispered one day when they were sat in the attic room, reading books together.

Dan looked up and closed his book.

“He’s actually going to die, Dan. Soon.”

Dan still didn’t speak but Phil didn’t need him to. He just needed to say the world out loud so that he could start believing them. If he didn’t, then it would be even worse when the day came.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Dan asked carefully.

These days, he wasn’t awake for more and a few odd minutes here and there. He was mostly sedated and on pain mediation that made him sleepy. He was suffering so much.

“No,” Phil replied.

“You need to talk to him, Phil. Today.”

There was something about the urgency in Dan’s voice that struck Phil and he looked up to meet the brunet’s eyes.

“You never know, Phil. Don’t miss your chance,” Dan urged.

Phil found his legs and headed straight for the door. Dan was right but Phil had been scared. Martyn had been telling him the same thing for days. Their mother had been extremely quiet but she had been tied to her husband’s side and never left him alone. Doctor Day still didn’t want to come with an estimate but you just needed to look at him to know it wouldn’t be long.

Phil started running down the stairs and then the corridor. If his parents had seen him, they would have scolded him for running in the halls. Right now he didn’t care about his manners. His father was dying and he had been distancing himself because he was afraid to face the reality.

On some level, it had felt that if he just stayed away, then it wouldn’t be real. They would still have at least two years together, maybe even ten. But that wasn’t the world anymore and Phil would regret it if he didn’t take a chance to speak to his father while he could.

Phil yanked the door open and startled his mother who was sat in a chair next to her husband’s hospital bed. When she saw the wild look in Phil’s eyes, her face softened and she smiled warmly and got up from her chair.

Phil stood frozen even as his mother wrapped her arms around him.

“It’s good to see you finally came by,” she spoke softly and left another squeeze on his shoulder.

Phil had always admired his mother’s strength and this moment was no exception. She had been strong for a whole month now, even as Phil could see her heart being ripped to shreds gradually.

“It’s not fair, Mum,” Phil whispered and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “We should have had more time.”

“Oh, I know, Philip,” she answered and Phil felt tears clinging to his eyes already. “But we got many wonderful years. That is what is important now. He isn’t awake much lately but I’m sure he’s still listening. I’ll give you two a moment. I need a cup of coffee.”

Phil didn’t comment that she could definitely had coffee brought up to her because he was thankful for the quiet. It felt horrible to approach the corpse like being on the bed that looked truly caught somewhere between life and death.

Phil wanted his father’s strong hands to steady him and to hear his sound advice again. He didn’t want the lifeless man lying on a bed dying.

Nevertheless, he gathered himself and sat down in the chair his mother had been in moments before.

“Hi Dad,” Phil spoke softly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been by much. It’s not ‘cause you haven’t been in my thoughts. You’ve been pretty much I have been thinking about lately. I… I’m so sorry. I was angry. I wanted us to have more time with you and I was just so… it’s not fair that we lose you already. I’m not ready to be without you.”

Tears were rolling down his cheeks now and Phil reached out to put his hand on his father’s. To his surprise, his father squeezed back immediately, so perhaps he was awake even if his eyes remained shut.

“Phil…” his father huffed out and Phil let out a sob.

“I’m not strong enough to make it through this, Dad. I can’t lose you. Not now. We have so much left to experience together. And I can’t be the crown prince… I don’t want to lose you. You are so loved. Not just by your family but by the entire country. They all adore you. You are one of the most wonderful men I have ever met and I couldn’t be more thankful to have grown up with you as my father…”

Phil took another stabilising breath as he tried to keep the tears at bay. It wasn’t working much. He couldn’t keep telling his father how he wasn’t ready or how he couldn’t do this. It was how he felt but it was not the words you should say to a dying man. He had to try and be optimist. He owned his father that much.

“I know I’ll have to say goodbye, even if it’s the last thing in the world I want to do. We will miss you so much but we will manage. I promise you that. Martyn and I will look after Mum. And… when I have to I’ll look after the kingdom that you care so deeply for. I’m not sure how but I know you believed in me. You never doubted that I could be king one day, even if all I do is doubt myself. What are we going to do without you?”

Phil let out another sob and clutched his father’s hand a little tighter. The hand squeezed back.

“We love you so much, Dad.”

Phil moved to press a kiss to his father’s temple. He stayed in the chair and held his father’s hand for hours.

The following day, all the flags around the country were put on half-mast as a sign of mourning. The crown prince had passed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, did anyone of you see that coming? How will Phil react to his father passing? What will happen when Phil becomes the official crown prince while he will have to mourn his beloved father. Also, lots of angst coming up - sorry it's around Christmas when things are supposed to be festive but it just fits with the story. 
> 
> Next update will be on Christmas Eve Eve!


	21. Give Time to Grieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil felt absolutely devastated by the news. He had no idea how to react but everything felt a little better when he was wrapped up in the embrace of the people he cared about. Dan tried his best to be there for Phil but it might get him a little more involved than he intended.

Dan was with Phil when he got the news. He had known that it had been coming for a while. Someone with a chronic illness who suddenly kept worsening over almost a month most likely wouldn’t be able to bounce back. Dan didn’t doubt for one second that Daisy’s father had done everything he could to try to save the crown prince but even royalty and power couldn’t beat all diseases.

When Dan had told Phil to go make sure that he had said goodbye to his father, he didn’t know that the news of the man’s passing would reach them the same night. He had simply wanted to make sure that Phil had done it because he knew more than anyone that everything could be ripped away from you in an instant.

He never got to say goodbye to his family. Granted, he had been filled with rage towards his parents, especially his father but he hadn’t even gotten a chance to say goodbye to his beloved little brother before they dragged him away. And he also wanted that last hug by his mother that he never got the chance to get. He couldn’t change what had happened but he could make sure Phil was as prepared as he could be.

None of them were sleeping when the door to their chambers slowly crept open. They had chatted a bit back and forth and synced up to each other’s breathing like they almost did on instinct. But Phil hadn’t been in the mood for sleeping and even as they returned from their stroll around the garden, Phil hadn’t been able to quiet down.

When Daisy slowly poked her head through the door, the moonlight illuminating her face just enough to show the tear streaks on her cheeks, Dan knew what had happened. So did Phil it seemed because he leapt out of bed, away from Daisy and looked like an animal caught in a trap.

“No…” he muttered. “Daisy, please… Please, don’t….”

“He passed,” Daisy choked out and made a rush towards Phil who stepped back and away from the oncoming embrace from his best friend.

Dan had seen Phil out of it before but he had never seen him like this. His eyes looked dead and his whole body was tight as if he might explode. Old warning bells in Dan’s brain went off but he got to his feet anyway and approached Phil with caution.

Daisy had stopped dead on her feet with Phil had pulled away and she was currently just trying to keep her sobs under control. Phil’s eyes had started watering too, however silently.

“Phil…” Dan spoke softly and stopped right in front of the terrified looking prince.

Their eyes met and Dan wanted nothing more than to take away the pain away from Phil. He wasn’t supposed to look like that ever. He was a bight beam of sunshine and right now he looked like a grey cloud ready to unleash thunder.

Dan had long ago figured out that Phil was a tactile person, which was why Daisy’s impulse to rush up and wrap him in an embrace had been the right one. Phil had probably only reacted because he had never felt grief like this.

The loss of a parent.

Dan wrapped his arms tightly around Phil who started wrestling as soon as Dan closed his arms around him. Everything in Dan’s instincts were telling him to get away from the violent-acting man in his arms but Phil wasn’t violent and sure enough, in less than two seconds he stopped struggling.

“He’s gone…” Phil choked out and clutched onto the back of Dan’s shirt with his fists. “He can’t… Daisy…”

A moment later, Daisy was with them in the hug and Dan was caught in his first-ever three-way hug. It felt kind of nice, even if Phil stopped holding his body up all together. If Dan and Daisy had let go, he would have crumbled to his feet.

Of course neither of them could ever dream of doing that.

Daisy was still sniffling and Phil was sobbing quietly. Dan even felt his own tears well up. He had never met Phil’s father but he had seen him move around at the ball where he had been in disguise. He was almost always as his wife’s side and he seemed to act so gracefully and it was evident that he was well-liked. However, more importantly, Phil loved his father so much. Dan had initially thought that he might resent his father for bringing him into a life where he would be forced to marry without love but Phil had never blamed his parents.

“Phil…” Daisy spoke softly. “You have to go see him.”

Phil suddenly tensed in their arms and Dan could feel the refusal in Phil’s non-verbal actions. He probably didn’t want to see his father’s corpse. Dan couldn’t blame him.

“Your mother is in there. Martyn and Cornelia will be soon. Phil, you have to go see him one final time,” Daisy urged on, even if she didn’t sound thrilled with the idea either.

“But I can’t face them alone… I can’t.”

“They’re your family, Phil,” Daisy continued. “And your uncle hasn’t been alerted yet. You have a moment of peace with him first. The king never liked his brother anyway.”

Phil barked out a laugh at that but it sounded vaguely like a sob.

“We’ll walk you there,” Dan proposed. “Make sure you get there safely.”

“Actually, I promised to help my father with some of the… err… things that need to get done now but Dan will be right by your side, Phil.”

Dan looked at Daisy across in the hug for the first time. There was a gentleness in her red rimmed eyes that he couldn’t quite understand.

“Let’s go, champ,” Daisy said and yanked Phil properly to his feet before she stepped back. She pulled Dan back slightly and repositioned Phil’s arm so that is was slung over Dan’s shoulder. “All set.”

Dan rolled her eyes at her antics and her little smile which seemed weirdly victorious. Dan reached up with his hand to hang Phil’s arm a bit better down his front. They probably looked ridiculous and Phil wasn’t an invalid but he did still feel very uncertain on his feet so Dan could stand a little embarrassment for Phil’s sake.

~*~

It didn’t feel like it was real life. Just hours ago, he had been sat at his father’s bedside and squeezing his hand. His father’s grip had felt strong and not like someone who would pass away in the night.

He had wanted Daisy to be lying. He had wanted for it to be some stupid prank, even if he knew that Daisy would never do something like that. She had felt like the harbinger of bad news and he felt bad for backing away from her but it hadn’t been a conscious decision.

Now, he was moving down the castle’s corridors on unsteady feet but with a very steady Dan pressed against his side. Dan hadn’t even protested when Daisy had indirectly insisted that he halfway carry Phil to the room.

“I’m sorry I struggled against you when you hugged me,” Phil said suddenly as his actions caught up to him. They were just making so much progress and now he had to do that when Dan had gone to comfort him with a hug? Dan probably never wanted to hug him again.

“Don’t think about it. I didn’t mind. You just focus on this, okay, Phil?”

Phil nodded but he didn’t want to focus on the fact that his strong, just and kind father wasn’t amongst the living anymore.

The two of them came to a halt in front of the room but Phil couldn’t bring himself to reach up and pull on the handle. He could hear sobs from the other side already, probably his mothers or maybe Martyn or Cornelia’s. He couldn’t go in there.

Daisy had been right that they were his family and he always felt safe with his family but he had never been able to let everything crumble around them. They expected him to be strong like a possibly future ruler.

Oh no…

With Phil’s father’s death, he was officially the crown prince.

This couldn’t be happening. Phil started pulling away from Dan and the door but before he got very far a hand had caught his. Dan’s palm felt warm, secure and right pressed against his and Phil stopped trying to run away from a moment.

“Phil,” Dan said in such a gentle voice. It was almost ironic that the man, who at times still had the coldest eyes, could speak with such warmth in his voice. “You have to go in at some point.”

“Dan, I-I… I’m scared. I have to be strong for them. I can’t… can’t let myself crumble.”

Dan shifted their hands, so that he was properly holding it instead of just holding onto it. Phil’s eyes went from their fingers to Dan’s eyes. They were ablaze with emotion now and nothing like the cold gates to kept everyone out.

“I would never let you crumble. You understand that, Phil? You won’t crumble but you need to do this and no one expects you to stay strong through this, Phil. You are allowed to grieve.”

Phil let out something a mix of a hiccup and a sob and on a whim he moved to intertwine their hands. Dan looked startled for a second but he didn’t make a move to pull away.

“Come in with me,” Phil asked in a pleading voice that was definitely not worthy of a crown prince but he didn’t care. This was Dan. Dan had never cared about the proper etiquette and that was one of the things Phil loved about him.

“Phil, I can’t do that,” Dan said with a sigh. “This is a family moment.”

“Cornelia is in there. I need you, Dan. Please. Stay with me?”

~*~

Dan wanted to refuse Phil. He was clearly out of his head with grief when he proposed for Dan to come into the private room where the deceased king lay surrounded by only his closest family. Phil was insane.

But his eyes didn’t show any sign of insanity; in fact, he looked completely sincere in his request and the feel of their intertwined fingers stayed strong. Dan wasn’t sure why he had grabbed Phil’s hand, probably to stop him or maybe on some selfish level because he had been wondering what it would be like to hold it.

He hadn’t expected Phil to just turn to him and make it so that they were properly holding hands. Dan was holding hands with a crown prince and the man who owned him but more importantly, he was holding hands with _Phil_.

“Phil, we can’t… your family would think…”

“What would they think, Dan? Poorly of me? Make misjudgements about you and me? I don’t care. I can’t go in there alone. You said you would stay and that you wouldn’t let me crumble. _Please_ , Dan.”

On some level, Dan wondered if Phil remembered that he couldn’t technically refuse any order posed by Phil. Legally, he would have to obey but he knew that Phil was still asking and not telling. He had promised he would never tell Dan do to anything. He was still asking, even after all this time.

But the thing with Phil… whenever he did ask something of Dan, Dan wanted nothing more than to comply. And this was no exception.

“Okay. I’ll stay with you.”

Phil’s whole face lit up and washed away the grief for the minuscule of moments but it was enough. Hesitantly, they made their way through the door and Dan was a little anxious when Phil’s hold on his hand tightened instead of lessened.

Dan felt like he was intruding when he saw Phil’s mother with puffy eyes sat gently stroking her deceased husband’s hand or Cornelia and Martyn caught in a tight embrace that seemed to be the only thing that kept Phil’s brother standing.

Three pairs of eyes snapped up to meet them and all looked very confused. Dan wanted to bolt out of here but he stayed rooted in his spot until Phil gently tugged him closer into the room by his hand.

“Daisy came and got me…” Phil managed to say before a sob cut him off.

In an instant and faster than Dan had ever seen anyone move, Phil’s mother had moved to pull Phil into a hug. Phil’s free arm went around her waist but he kept his other hand interlocked with Dan’s, dangling at an odd angle while he hugged his mother.

Thankfully, no one called Dan out on being there or went to hug him. Everyone just sat down in the silence for what seemed like a long time to Dan but Phil’s palm still felt warm in his and he used that feeling to calm his nerves.

It was funny how Phil’s touch had started to turn into something he sought comfort in when all types of touch had been the things he had needed comfort because of.

Eventually, Phil’s mother asked if they were ready to say the parting prayer and the two brothers nodded while Cornelia looked as confused as Dan felt. It only lasted a moment though before her princess poise kicked in and she hid her confusion.

The prayer wasn’t one that Dan had ever heard before but it was very specific the known feats of previous kings and queens. It must be a special one just for their family.

 _“You left this mortal realm too soon but you shall never be forgotten. We know you will watch over us from above and provide us with guidance. Forever in our hearts, my dear,”_ Phil’s mother finished and Dan had to discreetly wipe away his tears.

The whole time Phil had been gripping onto his hand, not painfully tight but enough that Dan felt the study pressure.

“You young ones should head back to bed. It is time I alert the king of his brother’s passing. You should not be here for that.”

“Mum, are you sure you can do that alone? We can stay,” Martyn proposed.

“My sweet boy,” his mother said and reached out to stroke his cheek. “You know as well as I that the king will not approve that we held the parting prayer without him. I will deal with the fallout myself. Your father only wanted close family here.”

Suddenly, everything in Dan’s stomach felt like stones and he felt Phil tense beside him as well. If that had been the case, why the hell had no one called protests when Dan had walked in here?

He was just a personal servant in everyone’s eyes.

“Philip,” Catherine spoke. “Do not look so gloom. If Dan is your family, he is allowed in here.”

Now Dan felt like the rocks morphed into butterflies. But he did not appreciate all this attention when they were grieving their father and husband.

“Go, my children and your loved ones. I will handle the King. I have before and I will continue to keep him in check. My late husband would expect nothing less.”

The four of them only left when she practically shoved them out of the room. They all paused outside and Dan braced himself for some sort of reaction of anger from Martyn and Cornelia.

“Phil,” Martyn said. “We will figure out what this means for you, okay? Don’t worry. Dan, don’t let him worry.”

Dan was so baffled by the direct address that he just answered.

“I would never let him do that.”

He could hear Phil chuckle ever so lightly and Cornelia was beaming at him while Martyn looked slightly taken aback.

“Good. We bid the two of you goodnight.”

~*~

Once they made it back to their chambers, the gravity of what had passed finally dawned on Phil. He had taken Dan into his family’s grieving space. He had made him be part of the parting prayer. That meant something. You didn’t just take people in there.

What had he been thinking? How could he do that to Dan?

“I’m so sorry,” Phil said once he closed the door behind them and were alone again.

To Phil’s surprise, Dan didn’t react like he thought he would at all.

“It’s okay, Phil. You looked like you needed a shoulder to lean on or well… a hand to hold and it’s okay. We’re okay. You will be okay. Okay?”

“Okay,” Phil said, still feeling a little baffled.

He also felt an emptiness inside of himself. It was like his father had taken a whole chunk of him away when he had passed. He didn’t know how he would be able to do this. He had seen his father being crown prince for a long time but seeing and doing were two very different things.

And he had always gone to his father to get advice on how to act, since his mother wasn’t of royal blood. He would never be able to do that again.

“Hey, hey,” Dan was suddenly saying and wrapping him up in another hug. Phil clutched on like his life depended on it. A small part of him wanted to ask Dan to sleep next to him tonight.

He just wanted to be able to cuddle up next to someone he trusted to keep him safe, like he used to when he was younger and had nightmare and ran into Martyn’s bed. Okay, it wouldn’t be the same with Dan but Phil just didn’t want to be alone.

Ever.

But he couldn’t ask that of Dan. He had already pushed his boundaries past where he had thought the might break. Amazingly, he hadn’t managed to screw up with Dan yet and he couldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. He had just lost his father and if he lost all that he had built with Dan as well…

“Let’s get out robes and go for a stroll, yeah?” Dan asked as he still had Phil wrapped up into a hug.

Phil just nodded thankfully. Marching around in the garden when they couldn’t sleep was normal. It was one of the few things that didn’t have to change, as Phil would have to figure out how to live without his father in his life.

They didn’t end up sleeping that night. Phil actually didn’t end up sleeping much the following week. The nightmares from his childhood about his father dying were back in full force but now they were so much worse because it had happened.

Dan tried his best to stay awake as long as him, almost turning insomniac for Phil. It didn’t sit right with the new crown prince but Dan was stubborn when he wanted to be.

The rest of the country went in to mourning as well. Phil’s father had been a very beloved crown prince and many had like to pretend that one day the king would drop dead of a heart attack and the kinder brother would step up to take the throne.

Phil’s father had never wanted to lead a country, much like Phil. Unlike Phil, he had a plausible reason to refuse. Phil could not let the throne fall into Rex’s hands, so he had to stay on his best behaviour.

Rex did not stay on his best behaviour nor did the king for that matter. He had been furious to be excluded from the parting prayer, even though everyone in the little family knew how much the brothers resented each other. Thankfully, no one had told him that Dan – a personal servant – had been invited into the private ceremony. Phil had never been more thankful for his family members’ loyalty.

Rex made a big show out of being upset but everything with their sane mind could see he was faking it and heavily overplaying the relationship between them, which had been non-existent. Phil wasn’t sure why winning goodwill with the citizens mattered so much to Rex.

Officially, the country went into mourning, like it always did when a royal family member was lost. If it was a monarch the time would be a least a month and the current monarch set times for others. The King granted him only three days and it was so insulting that country collectively decided to turn it into three weeks instead. Phil had never been prouder of his people.

Phil wasn’t sure if Dan was acting different because he didn’t feel like himself at all anymore. He was a incomplete puzzle were someone had decided to take handful of pieces before he had any chance to see how they would have impacted his whole picture. There had still been so much he had wanted to learn from his father.

When the country finally left the unofficial mourning time, Phil got an unexpected call to come see his uncle in the Grand Hall.

“That can’t be good?” Dan had asked tentatively when Phil told him of the message he had just received.

“No, it cannot,” Phil agreed. “I don’t know what he has up to but I really don’t want to deal with him. He gave my father three days. Three days. The deranged cousin who was tenth in line a decade ago got a whole week and he gave his own brother – the crown prince of our land – three puny days.”

Phil was still not over the disrespect and it just further fuelled his dislike of his uncle. Phil didn’t believe in hating people but if his uncle kept it up then he might change his mind.

“Whatever it is, Phil, we will handle it,” Dan said optimistically. Phil supposed he had to be when Phil had been gloomy for weeks on end now.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Dan was not right. This was not something they could just handle. When Phil stepped into the Grand Hall to greet his uncle he knew something terrible was about to happen. His uncle only ever smiled that maliciously when he had done something bad.

“Prince Philip, how nice of you to finally join me. I have called upon you to inform you that I have found your future bride. She will be here tomorrow and I would like the wedding to stand within a month.”

Phil didn’t respond other than giving a look of utter disbelief. This could not be happening. He had just lost his father and now his uncle wanted to force him into a marriage less than two months later? Phil’s stomach turned as he gathered his nerves to answer.

“My father, your brother, has been dead less than a month. We are still all grieving.”

“All the better timing. The people will love to see their new crown prince marry a princess. It will cheer everyone up.”

Phil was caught somewhere between anger and pure astonishment. He knew his uncle was a cynical man but this was a whole new level of crazy.

“Uncle, I really don’t…

“The decision is not yours, Prince Philip. You will follow my orders. But you will be happy to know this young lady was on your father’s short list of favourites. Your future bride arrives tomorrow. Oh, and once the engagement is confirmed with the princess’ family, you best hand over your personal servant to the castle’s common group of personal servants. We wouldn’t want our engaged crown prince to have a male personal servant in his chambers.”

It was official. Hatred wasn’t something Phil had ever wanted to feel but in that moment he fully hated his uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is this so sad and angsty during Christmas? I'm sorry! But I didn't really know how the chapters would fall when I originally started it. Also fun fact, we're approaching the one year anniversary of when I started to write this story, even if I only started posting in August. How did you like the bit about Phil pulling Dan along to the private ceremony and the reaction of Phil's family? And sorry about the twist there at the end. Ugh, I hate the King. 
> 
> Happy holidays and merry Christmas to those who celebrate!
> 
> Next update will be on Saturday the 30th of December.


	22. Marriage on the Agenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil didn't want to meet the princess he would have to marry, he just wanted to close his eyes and pretend it wasn't happening. Dan wasn't prepared to deal with how it would make him feel to see Phil walking around with the woman he had to marry.

Dan hadn’t been sure how to act around Phil ever since the prince’s father had died. Dan had never known someone who was grieving before. The closest had been when he himself had been grieving the loss of his freedom but he couldn’t let himself dwell on that even during his first months of being a personal servant. He had been quickly reminded that he was now supposed to be a thoughtless machine just obeying orders.

But he had never lost a loved one. He tried to imagine how he would have felt and what he would have needed if it had been his father that had died. But Phil had been close with his father; in ways Dan had never been with his own. They were a world of difference and Dan wasn’t sure he could even draw the comparison.

He tried to give Phil space but also recognise when he needed to step up and pull Phil out of the downward spiral. They went on moonlit night every night without fail, even as the temperature kept dropping and they had to substitute the robes for their coats.

Dan started playing more piano again, as Rex had thankfully lost more interest in them since he had taken on Amanda. Dan wasn’t sure it was such a good thing for Amanda but he selfishly liked that he was able to play piano for Phil again. He still adored their little secret nook in the attic room though.

Phil had started taking the seat next to Dan on the piano bench just like the night when Phil had found out that his brother had been removed from the succession to the throne and he had needed to find comfort in the music Dan could play.

Dan thought that was the worst he should be expected to handle in regard to Phil but of course that vile uncle of Phil’s had to go and make it even more horrible.

Phil had been called to an audience with the King and he returned pale as a ghost, which was saying something with the prince’s already pale complexion.

“Phil, are you okay?” Dan asked and rushed to his side. Phil looked vaguely like a zombie, just stopped just inside of the door to their chambers.

“I…” Phil said and then stopped. “Princess. Tomorrow. Arranged. Bride.”

Phil was speaking in fragments and Dan felt slightly like he talked to a personal servant who had been traumatised. The King clearly had that effect on people.

Yet, Phil had said enough for Dan to get what had happened, even if it boggled his mind. Phil’s father had been dead for only three weeks and the King was already intending to make Phil marry?

Surely, there had been talk of marriage and princesses around Phil for as long as Dan had been here but he hadn’t expected it to come to it so soon. Dan didn’t want Phil to get married and especially not to some princess he hadn’t met. Dan had watched princesses and ladies flirt with Phil when he was playing in the Grand Hall but he had taken comfort in the fact that Phil had ended every conversation as soon as possible.

He would not be able to brush off the princess his uncle said he had to marry. Dan wanted to storm into the Grand Hall and punch the King square in the jaw, if it didn’t mean that he would be thrown into the dungeons or possible executed.

Dan didn’t know what to say, so he reached forward and pulled Phil into a hug.

“I don’t want to,” Phil muttered into Dan’s shoulder and tightening his arms around Dan slightly. “I don’t want a princess I have never met. I don’t want you to leave.”

Dan hadn’t really thought about what it would mean for him but it made sense that he couldn’t stay here if Phil was to take on a princess. A cold shiver went down Dan’s spine and if Phil hadn’t been holding him, he was pretty sure he would have fallen on the floor.

He would lose Phil. He would lose the life he had come to like. He would be going back into the control of someone who wasn’t as compassionate and kind as Phil.

He would be a proper personal servant again without someone like Phil to protect him.

The boys spent their night walking around in the garden for longer than normal and even sneaking off to their secret attic room to pretend to read books to keep sleep at bay. Perhaps if they didn’t sleep, tomorrow wouldn’t come.

It was a phantom feeling but neither of them wanted to face the reality.

~*~

Phil ended up just getting a couple of hours of exhausted sleep. He hadn’t wanted to close his eyes because when he opened them the following morning, he would have to get ready and go meet his future bride. She might have been approved of his father, which Phil had to admit was reassuring, but he didn’t want to get married right now.

And he most certainly didn’t want to give up Dan but what could he do?

He got dressed at a slow pace in the morning and he could feel Dan’s calculating eyes on him, even as the brunet stayed completely silent. Phil knew that Dan worried about what would happen to him as well. Phil hadn’t told Dan about what the King had said on relocating him to the castle’s population of personal servants because he didn’t intend to let that happen under any circumstances.

Phil wore nice clothes, more out of habit than anything else but he hesitated at the door when he was about to leave. The princess – his future bride – would be arriving any minute and Phil had to go get ready to greet her.

He had talked to his mother briefly yesterday but she was still so consumed by grief that she couldn’t offer much sound advice. Martyn had been ready to talk to his uncle but Phil had warned him off it. Since Martyn lost claim to the throne, him and Cornelia was only staying in the castle because of the King’s goodwill. Phil didn’t want his uncle to banish Martyn and Cornelia.

“We’ll figure something out, Dan,” Phil whispered, turned towards the door. He wasn’t sure Dan heard but he supposed he must when he heard a soft chuckle.

“You don’t know that, Phil.”

Phil wanted to argue that he would never let anything bad happen to Dan and that he would make sure he stayed safe. It was what he desperately wanted to be true but he knew he couldn’t make a promise like that. Not as long as he was under the control of his manipulative uncle. He couldn’t make a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep.

“We’ll have to try,” Phil said before yanking open the door before he changed his mind and just went to hide in Dan’s embrace and pretend that none of the world outside of their chambers existed.

The walk to the drawing room was tiresome but the waiting left Phil feeling anxious. When the princess was let into the drawing room, Phil felt like the air had been knocked out of him for the briefest moment. She was breathtakingly beautiful brunette with sun-kissed skin and her eyes seemed kind and her smile slightly nervous.

“You must be Prince Philip,” she said and curtseyed for Phil, who was just standing there mute like an idiot.

His manners finally caught up with him and he did a bow. “Indeed, I am. It is a pleasure to meet you, Princess Elena.”

Phil knew he should be reaching out to kiss her hand but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She was beautiful and she looked sweet but his initial moment of falter had come more from shock than infatuation. She looked absolutely perfect for him but he didn’t feel that initial draw towards her, like he had when he had first seen…

Phil plastered on a wider smile and focused on the princess in front of him. He walked her to her guest chambers and promised to give her half an hour to get settled in before they would meet up again. On the way, the princess chatted happily and there was a bubbly quality and optimism to her that he couldn’t help but admire.

Was it possible that his uncle had actually found someone who wasn’t horrible?

Again, Phil felt reminded that his father had approved of her and that his father had also promised to find a girl that Phil would be able to fall in love with.

Phil paced around the drawing room while he waited for her to get changed. He had wanted to go back to his chambers and talk to Dan but at the same time he knew that wouldn’t lead to anything good. He needed his head in the game and if he saw Dan now, he would likely just bail on the whole thing.

Princess Elena returned and Phil felt even more on edge. There had been arranged a picnic for them in the garden and Phil had purposely stayed clear of all of his favourite parts of the garden. It was in those places that he strolled around with Dan and he didn’t feel happy tainted all their memories with a picnic with a princess. At the same time, he wanted to make sure he didn’t pick a spot that Dan would be able to see from the window.

Phil wasn’t sure why he felt so guilty about this whole thing.

“This is a beautiful garden,” Elena observed as they moved through it to get to the spot that had already been set up by the kitchen maids. Daisy had given Phil a sceptical look when he had told her the location but she hadn’t commented on it. Because it was rather cold, they had brought out blankets, fold up chairs and electronic heaters.

“It is,” Phil agreed and kept moving forward. He wanted to talk about all the plants he had brought in here and nurtured but nearly six months ago he had been leading someone different through the garden. It felt weird to tell someone who wasn’t Dan.

However, Phil had to talk about something but instead of talking about himself, he enquired about Elena.

Phil knew a fair bit about her kingdom as their kingdoms had often done business together. Phil knew that a union between princes and princesses would only improve that and strategically, it was a very good match. That notion didn’t sit well in Phil’s stomach but Princess Elena kept being lovely and rather adorable.

He should feel smitten and giddy at the prospect of marrying such a lovely woman. It could have been so much worse. Yet, he couldn’t find the genuine enthusiasm for it.

At the end of the lunch, she turned Phil’s questions back on himself.

“I think you know quite enough about me now, Prince Philip. I would like to hear about you now?”

“Well, there isn’t much to tell…” Phil brushed off.

“That cannot be true,” Elena said and smiled flirtatiously. “I have heard about the mysterious Prince Philip in the royal circles. People don’t know quite what to make of you but I see a kind and compassionate man before me.”

Phil’s ears felt like they went red at the compliment. “I never much liked publicity. Oh, and you can just call me Phil. I don’t rather like my title.”

“Dropping the titles already, are we? You must feel very intimate with me to allow that, Phil.”

Phil didn’t have the heart to tell her that he asked everyone to call him Phil. He didn’t want to go into the explanation of how he didn’t like being addressed by a title he had never earned. It was too complicated and he feared it might be insulting to Princess Elena, who was also of royal blood.

Phil didn’t know what to reply to Elena’s question so he just flashed her a smile, which made her return it and change the topic.

They moved on from their picnic to Phil giving her a tour of the castle. It felt very different from when he has showed Dan around those months ago but of course, now they weren’t sneaking around without trying to get spotted.

Maybe they should have, Phil thought, when they ran into Rex.

“Well, never have I seen such a beautiful lady,” Rex said and did a proper bow before reaching out to kiss Elena’s hand. “Prince Philip is a very lucky man to be engaged to you. You are every man’s dream.”

“Quite the charmer, huh?” Elena commented and pulled her hand back. “I am Princess Elena.”

“Elena, this is Ty Ramous. Second in line to the throne,” Phil introduced but the words tasted like acid in his mouth. He didn’t want to acknowledge just how closely he was tied to Rex but he couldn’t very well leave out his rank or Rex would undoubtedly find a way to bring it up himself.

“You can call me Rex, my princess,” Rex said and smiled in a manner Phil supposed was supposed to be dashing. “I myself am quite new to the castle, so it is rather nice to get some new blood in here.”

“I could imagine,” Elena replied politely. “But if you’ll excuse us, we have places to be.”

The expression on Rex’s face was precious and Phil wished he had caught it on film. He looked horrified that the princess was dismissing him so blatantly and he took several moments to compose himself.

They parted ways with Rex and Phil couldn’t stop smiling.

“You are not very fond of him, are you?” Elena asked.

Phil considered lying. He shouldn’t be badmouthing someone right behind him in line for the throne but he detested Rex and the way he had gotten there, so he pushed away his hesitance.

“As he said, he has not been here long nor did he used to hold such a high claim to throne until recently. We knew each other when we were children and did not get along. I’m afraid we still do not.”

The princess hummed thoughtfully.

“Elena, if I may, why did you brush him off like that? I don’t mind in the slightest but I am rather curious,” Phil said.

Princess Elena did a rather shy smile and Phil found that he liked her a little more. Perhaps a marriage to her would be okay after all.

“I have met many men like him. They flatter and charm but they are power hungry and not to be trusted. They try to dazzle you but when you least expect it, they will turn on you. I apologise if you think I am speaking out of term.”

Phil was quick to put her worries at ease. “Not at all. If this is going to work, we will have to be honest with each other and unfortunately, I agree with your observations. Rex does not sit well with me either.”

After that, it was as if something changed between them. Phil started relaxing a little more and he stopped being so guarded. It didn’t do anything to fight Elena. She was a lovely person and just as caught in this arranged marriage as Phil was.

Phil should have felt lucky. Elena was the dream of arranged marriages but he couldn’t help the feeling of wrongness in his chest whenever he looked into her eyes and expected them to be a different shape and darker shade brown.

~*~

Dan wasn’t sure he had felt jealousy before or at the very least for a long time. When he had been younger, he had been jealous of the children with rich parents who didn’t have to worry about turning into personal servants. But after that had happened to him, so many emotions had been ripped from his being.

Perhaps that was why it was odd that he felt feelings of jealousy rise in his chest when he saw Phil with the princess he was to marry. They had been walking in the garden, only for a brief moment before they headed out of view but it was enough for Dan to get a good look at her.

She was absolutely beautiful and Dan hated to admit that she looked really good next to Phil. They complimented each other in some way and Dan could read on Phil’s body language that he was relaxing more and more with each step he took next to her.

Dan had stepped away from the window and plopped down on the sofa and contemplated. He did not like these feelings of jealous, mostly because of the fact that they brought a revelation to the surface that Dan wasn’t sure he wanted to face.

If Dan was jealous of this princess – Elena, Phil had said her name was – then it was because he wanted to be the one who strolled next to Phil. They had taken plenty of walks side by side but it was more so the metaphorical part of being beside Phil. And those were dangerous thoughts to get into Dan’s head.

He would never be allowed to be the one who stood next to Phil. He had known that from the very first moment he had met the prince. If things had been different, Phil might have been having sex with him but Dan couldn’t bring himself to regret their situation. Any relations between them when Dan was Phil’s personal servant would have felt tainted.

Dan didn’t want a situation like Rex and Amanda, where he would find himself thankful just because his rapist was gentle. Also, Phil would never have agreed to do anything. He was far too noble and good.

No, Dan didn’t want to change a single thing that had passed between them. Every moment, good or bad, had brought them closer together and Dan loved how close they had gotten and how they trusted and depended on each other. He just wasn’t ready to face the fact he would have to give that all up when Phil married.

Dan tried to take a nap to make the world go away for a little while so he didn’t have to remember that Phil was walking around and bonding with his future wife.

~*~

Phil wasn’t sure how it came to pass so fast but suddenly it was time for dinner. He made it back to his chambers to change and he was surprised to find Dan sleeping on the sofa. Even more oddly, Dan didn’t seem to wake up when Phil walked in.

Dan always woke up when a door opened. Phil knew because Dan had told him and he had seen it happen so many times. Because of Dan’s past, he was a very light sleeper, which meant he was faking sleeping.

Phil wasn’t sure what to make of it but he didn’t have enough time to call Dan out on his bullshit. Phil wasn’t too keen to find out either because he was fairly certain it had something to do with the visiting princess.

Phil lingered in the doorway after he had changed but he didn’t speak a word to Dan.

The dinner was more upbeat than it had been the past three weeks. Phil’s mother was still in black and rather quiet but that was to be expected. Princess Elena surprised Phil by being an utter delight and getting along with everyone, even Rex and his uncle. Phil had a very distinct feeling she was in possession of the valuable royal gene of making people like you. Martyn seemed ecstatic at her presence and she got on really well with Cornelia. Even Catherine livened up a little as the conversation started flowing.

Phil could feel his uncle’s watchful eyes on him but he didn’t speak until spoken to. However, he did make sure Elena’s glass was full at all time and he got up when she had to use the restroom. The dinner was a splendid success and Phil was glad it seemed that Elena would get on well with his family. She seemed to tick all of the boxes and yet Phil still didn’t feel that flutter in his chest.

He wondered if it might come some day.

Phil walked her back to her chambers and she lingered in her doorway.

“I have had a rather wonderful day in your company, Phil. You are all I hoped for and more. I was sceptical before but I think we could be happy together,” she said with a bright and happy smile on her lips and Phil wanted to return the sentiment.

“I would be very lucky to call you my wife,” he said with a nod.

She started leaning in, slightly, and clearly to make Phil make the next move. She wanted a kiss, which was sensible to test their physical chemistry before they would have to send words to her parents’ tomorrow. However, Phil dodged in the last second and pressed a kiss to her cheek instead.

She looked slightly baffled but her eyes were still kind and warm.

“Goodnight, Phil. I will see you in the morning.”

~*~

Dan was pacing around the room. He had pretended to be asleep when Phil had come in to change for dinner and he was fairly certain that Phil knew he had been faking it. He just hadn’t wanted to hear about how wonderful Elena was. Dan had asked around in the kitchen and it seemed that indeed Elena was a lovely person.

When the door finally opened, Dan almost leapt up the wall out of surprise. Phil seemed startled to find him pacing but he didn’t say anything.

“Not sleeping anymore, I see,” Phil commented and went to his wardrobe to start changing out of his dinner clothes.

“I wasn’t really sleeping,” Dan confessed and fixed his eyes on the floor in shame.

But Phil just let out a soft chuckle.

“I know. But I figured you did it to avoid talking to me,” Phil said perceptively.

“I wasn’t ready to hear about your beautiful and lovely future wife,” Dan said honestly. He hadn’t planned on being this honest but he had trouble shutting up around Phil.

“I wouldn’t have talked about it if you didn’t want to hear,” Phil assured him and pulled his pyjamas on.

“But I do want to hear. This woman is going to be a great part of your life. I just hope she’s worthy to stand next to someone as wonderful as you.”

Phil paused where he was pulling his pyjamas shirt over his head and just stared at Dan where his head was halfway through the head hole. Dan reached out and yanked the shirt down.

“That’s… kind of you, Dan,” Phil replied and gulped.

“You must know I would only want the best for you, Phil.”

Phil nodded and seemed lost in his thoughts.

“So? Tell me about her,” Dan requested.

Phil sat down on his bed and started talking. Dan tried his best to listen patiently but he kept getting distracted by Phil’s voice and the way his lips moved. Elena would be kissing those lips soon if the future couple hadn’t already shared their first kiss. That ugly pit of jealousy curled in Dan’s stomach.

But Dan was still happy that Elena seemed so lovely and sensible. He especially loved when he was told what she had said about Rex. Phil was going to be in safe hands. He would probably fall in love with Elena; perhaps even under their engagement so he would be able to marry someone he loved. Dan was happy for Phil, he really was but he wasn’t happy with the notion that he would be losing the prince in his life.

Phil broke into a yawn and Dan announced they better get to bed. He was tired as well after having been running on nerves for hours on end. His attempt at a nap hadn’t actually yielded any sleep, it had just encompassed a lot of tossing and turning and pretending.

However as Dan got ready to get into bed on the sofa, a thought stuck his head with such force that he might have toppled over, if he hadn’t been sitting.

Phil had said that everything would be made official tomorrow, which meant this was Dan’s probably last night in these chambers. Afterwards, he would be heading somewhere else. And despite Phil’s best intentions, he might very well end up in someone else’s bed. Just that thought alone was almost enough to send him into a panic but he forced his body to remain calm.

There wasn’t anything to be done for it but he could do something else. This was the very last night he would have with Phil. Tomorrow everything would change for them. Perhaps, it didn’t matter so much if Dan carried out this silly idea that might bring him comfort.

He got on his feet and walked over to the side of the bed Phil didn’t sleep in and just paused there as he looked on Phil’s form. Phil had just lied down and he wasn’t asleep yet, so he quickly turned around to face Dan.

“What’s the matter, Dan? Do you want to go for a walk before we go to bed?” Phil asked as he turned over to face Dan.

“No,” Dan said quietly and tried to gather his courage.

There was a possibility that Phil would reject him. Phil had never done anything to hurt him but it was a rather odd request. And then at the same time there was his past trauma reminding him how close and vulnerable he was getting if he carried out this idea.

“What then?” Phil asked softly, no real demand in his voice, merely curiosity.

“It’s silly,” Dan muttered.

Phil smiled brightly and Dan’s breath caught in his throat. The lights were out and they could only see each other in the soft moonlight from the window. Phil looked gorgeous as ever. He was something Dan would never be able to have for real but perhaps tonight he could pretend.

“If it something you want, Dan, then it’s not silly. Just tell me.”

“I… Can I sleep here tonight?”

Phil’s brows furrowed in confusion and he looked completely stunted.

“It’s just…” Dan continued as to try and appease Phil’s confusion. “Tonight will be our last night in these chambers together. Who knows which mattress I might find myself pressed into in the…”

Protectiveness and anger pushed away all confusion for Phil’s face. “I will not let that happen to you, Dan. I will figure something out.”

Dan appreciated it but he knew Phil couldn’t promise anything. Dan would likely become the property of someone else and Phil couldn’t intervene because he had to play nice for his uncle to protect his claim to the throne.

“Either way… I would like to sleep here with you. Err… just sleep. It’s just… the last time I slept next to someone in bed was… number eight and I just… I want a different memory in my head, you know? I know you’d never try anything.”

Phil looked absolutely pained as well as confused anew but he reached over to flip up the duvet as a non-verbal invitation.

Hesitantly, Dan gathered his burst of courage and climbed into the bed. He would never have thought that he would voluntarily climb into a bed with someone who had absolute power over him but he trusted Phil completely.

And it was true what he had been saying. If he was to go back to abuse, he wanted a nice memory to cling onto when times got dark.

Phil was tense next to Dan as he shuffled closer.

“If it makes you too uncomfortable, we don’t have to do this,” Dan told Phil, who seemed to relax upon his words.

“I’m not uncomfortable, Dan. Far from it. I’m just scared I’ll trigger you,” Phil explained.

Dan considered it for a moment before turning on his side so he was facing Phil and scooting closer as well as reaching out and placing Phil’s hand over his own waist.

“I’m not uncomfortable around you, Phil. I trust you.”

They were facing each other and their faces had gotten really close and Dan could smell Phil all around him. It was intoxicating and he almost wanted to reach out and press their lips together but it would be too much. He was still trying to quiet down the old alarm bells blaring in the back of his skull as Phil’s hand rested against his side. And if he kissed Phil now he wasn’t sure he would be able to let him go in the morning.

“I trust you too, Dan. And I will find a way to protect you, okay?”

“You can’t make promises you can’t keep, Lester,” Dan said but his voice was light and teasing. He had been used to the life and being with Phil had been like a wonderful dream but deep down he had always known it couldn’t last forever. Dreams never did.

Dan’s breath hitched as Phil’s hand on his side gave it a little squeeze.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Phil said sincerely.

Dan grumbled and then some more tension eased out of him. Phil meant well but false hope was dangerous.

“Let’s just sleep, okay?”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been so freaking excited to introduce Princess Elena - did anyone expect her to be horrible? Would you have preferred that to her being this nice? (It was always the plan for her to be nice but I'm curious). Also that ending scene just melted my heart as I wrote it. I know some of you probably feel like a kiss is way overdue but give the boys time. This sharing a bed scene was planned from the very beginning and I'm so happy we're finally here. As always, feedback is highly appreciated. 
> 
> In the words of Dan and Phil's calendar: "THE END OF 2017! CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE IT" (I know it's not until tomorrow but I hope you all have a wonderful end to this year and I wish all of you the best 2018). 
> 
> Next update will be on Saturday the 6th of January 2018.


	23. The Choice of the Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in each other's arms felt somewhat like a dream. It was so easy for them to forget that Phil was now engaged and this would be the last night Dan spent in the chambers that had become theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPER EXITING NEWS! This story is nominated for several categories for Phanfic Awards 2017! More in the end notes!

When Phil opened his eyes, he almost thought that he was still in his dreams. He was still in his chambers and his comfortable bed but he had someone sprawled across his chest and he was met with the sight of a mess of curls.

Phil wasn’t proud to admit that Dan had been in his dreams before. However, he had written it off as them spending so much time together that it made sense that his sleeping time would include Dan too. If there had been less than innocent dreams, Phil definitely had definitely pretended that those didn’t exist.

But there was something that told Phil this wasn’t a dream, no matter how unlikely it was that Dan was sleeping, cuddled up to him and breathing as softly and steadily as ever.

After everything that had happened yesterday, Phil had been ready to knock out the moment he had lied down in bed. But then he had sensed Dan approaching and thought he might want to go for a calm down walk like they so often did.

He had not expected Dan to request sharing Phil’s bed.

In fact, Phil had been certain that Dan would never ever want to do that. But he had been standing there in the soft moonlight, looking beautiful but insecure and Phil’s heart had just melted. He knew Dan did it to have a good memory and Phil had felt furious for a moment because they both knew the reality no matter how much Phil wished he could protect Dan.

Phil was just as powerless as Dan in his uncle’s game. He had to play by the rules or he would get taken off the board and he could not leave Rex to play his position. It was too dangerous.

Dan grumbled and Phil felt hands tighten around his torso. Dan had wrapped himself around Phil while asleep; Phil could even feel their legs intertwined.

For a moment, he didn’t dare to move. He would lose this the moment Dan woke up and untangled them. He wanted to stay here forever. It felt like nothing could hurt either of them here. Waking up with Dan by his side made Phil’s heart sing in ways it never had before.

He didn’t know how much he would be losing before he opened his eyes that morning.

They were friends. Best friends.

But they could also be something else. Something Phil had always craved to have with someone he completely trusted. Phil had dreamed of finding someone like Dan.

He would never have expected him to come into his life as a personal servant but Phil wasn’t ready to give him up. He needed Dan in his life and he needed to keep Dan safe. There had to be a way to do that. Phil knew for certain Dan had enriched his life in ways he couldn’t even describe and suddenly being bereft of him would tear Phil apart. He had just found the person he wanted and now he was going to lose him.

“You have been awake for minutes,” Dan grumbled and let out a heavy breath.

“I didn’t want to wake you or…”

“Scare me? Trigger me?” Dan asked in an even voice that Phil weren’t sure how to judge.

“Yeah.”

~*~

Dan had felt when Phil’s breathing changed and the prince had woken up. Dan was sleeping on Phil’s chest and he had trained himself to react to the smallest change in an environment.

He had woken up several times during the night too, with his heart going rapid. Never once had he let his body shoot up and away from Phil. Each time, he had reeled himself in. This was Phil and Phil would never hurt him despite the old alarm bells trained to ringing out warnings.

Dan didn’t want to admit how nice it was to wake up cuddling this time. He couldn’t remember when he had gotten to have such soft and yet intimate affection. Probably never but it felt right with Phil.

Everything felt right with Phil but Phil was a prince engaged to a princess and Dan was just a personal servant. It didn’t matter how right things felt.

“I won’t be triggered by you, Phil,” Dan said and slowly moved his head so that his chin was resting on Phil’s chest and he could get a good look at Phil’s sleepy face. When he had woken up in the night he had stolen several glances at Phil and Dan wasn’t sure how someone could look so angelic while sleeping.

It seemed to be an instinctive move as Phil’s hand moved up to rest on the small of Dan’s back. Phil’s hand froze there as if he had realised what he had done. Dan just flashed Phil a big grin to reassure him.

Phil’s fingers rested on scars; perhaps they could even feel the shapes under Dan’s shirt but for some reason Dan wasn’t so afraid of Phil discovering his scars anymore. Perhaps it was because he would be heading out the door all too soon.

It took all of Dan’s willpower to pull away from Phil and sit up at the edge of the bed.

“Damn, your sheets are comfortable,” Dan said, trying to lighten the very loaded silence between them.

“Worthy of a prince,” Phil joked and Dan looked over his shoulder to show Phil that he rolled his eyes at the joke.

Getting dressed was odd but Dan didn’t head into the toilet like he used to. He still turned his back and he knew that Phil would not be watching him. If he had, Dan would have been able to feel the crawling feeling of eyes on his skin, which was something he had also learnt to recognise.

When Dan turned back around, Phil was dressed too. They took turns in the bathroom and then found themselves standing in front of the door that lead out of their chambers. This felt like their own safe bubble and Dan wanted to grab Phil’s hand and make him promise to never leave. He knew he couldn’t, so he opened his mouth and said words that hurt his heart instead.

“I guess you should head out and find your princess,” Dan said and scuffed the floor with his socked foot.

“I won’t let anyone else take charge of you, Dan. I’ll figure out a way to transfer you to Daisy or still keep you as mine but off-site or something. I will not let anyone I don’t trust get their hands on you.”

As Phil’s words stopped, Dan finally looked up to meet the prince’s gaze. His eyes showed no signs of deception but Dan wasn’t sure Phil could keep his word. Dan had learnt very early on that Phil was just as much of a pawn in the king’s game as anyone else, perhaps more than anyone else.

“Just… I’ll stay here until you tell me where to go, yeah?” Dan asked and he hated himself for feeling the bubbling of tears in his chest. He would not let himself cry. “And give me a chance to say properly goodbye?”

Wordlessly, Phil pulled Dan into a hug. It was an intense and emotional hug and Dan surprised himself by squeezing back Phil with equal amounts of intensity.

“I would never leave you behind,” Phil whispered and Dan caught the slight shake in his voice.

~*~

Letting go of the hug and walking out the door felt like one of the hardest things Phil ever had to do. He was an emotional mess already from having woken up with Dan practically in his arms but this was almost too much.

Dan didn’t even ask for the protection. He just wanted a chance to say goodbye properly. Phil’s heart couldn’t take it.

What if Dan was really his person? What if he was going to lose him forever because of this? What if Phil’s action would inevitably lead Dan into a world of pain and abuse anew?

Would Phil ever be able to forgive himself if that happened?

Phil must have still looked deep in thought by the time he made it to Princess Elena’s door. She swung the door open, seemingly more beautiful than the day before and she greeted Phil warmly until she took in his appearance.

“Phil, come in. Have a seat, you look like you might faint,” she said as she pulled Phil into her room by a gentle hand and sat him down on the sofa.

It would be seen as improper for them to be alone in the same room until the engagement was officially announced but Elena didn’t seem to care about that. She dismissed her lady’s maid softly and soon, it was just the two of them.

Phil knew he had to open his mouth and say something but he wasn’t sure how to even begin. Could he ask Elena to allow him to keep Dan on? Would she be able to understand their unique situation or would she think it odd? Or perhaps she would think that Phil was lying and just wanting to keep a slave in his backhand?

“Phil, you have to talk to me. If this is going to work honesty is important, remember?” Elena pressed as she came back into the room with a cloth soaked in cold water, which she pressed gently to Phil’s temple. Her touch was soft and oddly reminded Phil’s of his mother.

He supposed that he could start from the beginning.

“I suppose you hear a lot about our country. I take it the knowledge of one of our more conservative laws regarding those unable to sustain themselves financially at the age of eighteen have reached you?”

Elena’s hand faltered in the dabbing movement, only for a beat.

“Of course, we have. It is a rather… controversial topic.”

“It is a lot of fancy names and reasons for a law that creates free labour in the form of slaves. Personal servant is the disguising name but the law takes away all rights from the people who are touched by it. I do not agree one bit with my uncle’s law.”

“Then I must consider myself confused, Phil,” Elena said and stepped back with the wet cloth. “I am afraid I have heard rather unfavourable rumours about you since my arrival. I do not place a lot of faith in gossip but I did want to ask you about it before sending word to my parents to approve our future union.”

Phil should have been expecting this. Of course, she would have heard about it. It was just a testament to her manners that she hadn’t brought it up yesterday.

“You have heard about Dan?”

It seemed that she froze when Phil mentioned Dan’s name but he wasn’t sure why.

“Dan? As in your friend Dan? You spoke of him yesterday, as well as your friend Daisy. I thought they were both staff of the castle.”

Of course, that made sense. As Phil had started relaxing more after their encounter with Rex, he had come to mention Dan and Daisy. It hadn’t been planned but they were a big part of his life and it was only natural that he had come to talk about them when Elena started asking about his life. Dan was perhaps a bigger part than Phil was willing to admit.

“Dan _is_ my friend,” Phil insisted but then lowered his voice. “But he is also my personal servant. My uncle has a rather strict approach to which traditions must be adhered to if one wishes to stay eligible to the throne. I did not plan on taking him on and I do not exercise power over him in any way but on paper, he is my charge. In reality, he has quickly become one of my best friends.”

Now it looked like Elena needed to sit down and Phil automatically rose to his feet to guide the princess to sit on the sofa. She looked deep in thought, her eyes moving back and forth as if she was calculating something.

“Tell me about him,” Elena asked and Phil had not been expecting that to come out of her mouth but he was happy to comply either way.

“He is one of the bravest people I know. He has unfairly been through hell because of a law that should never have existed and yet he never stopped fighting. I don’t know how he remains so strong without becoming cruel. He’s been cold before but he has managed to keep his moral in a world that stripped him of everything. He is a survivor and once you get to know him… he’s a very funny guy and he’s so attentive when you are struggling. He always knows how to cheer me up or make me feel better, even when I am at a loss myself. He wouldn’t think himself kind because he still shields away from interaction but he cares so deeply about people and he wants to help, even if his situation prohibits him. He is without a doubt one of the best people I have ever had the fortune of knowing.”

Elena’s smile changed while Phil spoke. By the time he finished, it was small and contemplative.

“What will happen to him with our engagement?”

Phil hesitated. “I am not sure but my uncle will insist that I give him up due to appearances and for the sake of your dignity. I am still trying to figure out how to make sure he will remain with someone who sees him as a human being.”

“Could I meet him?” Elena asked, surprising Phil yet again.

“Meet him?”

“If he is this important in your life, then I would like to meet him, Phil. Besides, I would like to hear things from his perspective, if you don’t mind. It is not that I do not trust your side of the story but that law gives me a bad feeling. Slavery has been abolished in my land for centuries and to find it in modern day is unsettling.”

Phil wasn’t sure whether to be shocked by her diplomacy or the fact she was a princess asking to talk to a personal servant. The fact that they were even able to have this conversation, without her turning down her nose once, spoke volumes of her character and Phil again had to admit that she was the dream choice for a future spouse. She was even more inclined to take the side of a powerless personal servant over the prince in charge of him. Phil could only respect her for that.

He lead her back to his chambers as per her request and even though he wasn’t sure what would happen when Dan saw the two of them together, he forced himself to stay calm and push the door open.

~*~

Dan had half been expecting the maid to come in to turn over the bed and clean but it was still too early. He did not understand how it could be Phil and Princess Elena standing in the doorway and walking into the chambers, as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Dan moved back as far as possible and eyed the princess with suspicion. He had been right about his glimpse from the window. She was beautiful – the kind of beautiful that had been written about in romantic poems. More so, her smile was genuine and sweet when she reached out her hand gently in Dan’s direction.

“You must be Dan?” she asked and Dan just looked to Phil for an explanation.

“Elena wanted to meet you, Dan,” Phil explained without really explaining anything at all.

Why did the princess want to meet her future prince’s personal servant? It made absolutely no sense.

“Yes, Phil filled me in on your situation and I told him I would like to speak with you. Phil, could you give us the room?”

At the prospect of being left alone with someone of royalty, even a dainty princess like Elena, Dan tensed up and flashed panicked eyes at Phil. Phil seemed to understand instantly without Dan even speaking a word.

“I would prefer to be here, Elena. Dan isn’t very comfortable around new people and…”

“Phil, I think very highly of you,” Elena said and interrupted rather elegantly, “but I would rather you not look over my shoulder. I would like to know what Dan would say when not under the gaze of the person in charge of him.”

“Elena, we are not like that,” Phil said and he sounded heartbroken. Dan opened his mouth to defend Phil but Elena spoke before he could.

“I realise that, Phil. And I do trust your account of things. But I will ask for this audience with Dan alone regardless. I promise you no harm will come to you, Dan, but I would rather hear what you say without Phil speaking for you.”

Dan didn’t want to be alone with her and he rather preferred that Phil acted as a mediator but he also recognised the stubborn look in the young woman’s eyes. She was getting her way eventually.

“It’s okay, Phil. I think I can handle five minutes alone with a princess. I managed with Cornelia, didn’t I?”

Phil seemed more at ease as Dan finally spoke.

“I’ll be back shortly, okay?” Phil said and finally ducked out after a short bow to Princess Elena.

“Why did you want to speak with me in private, princess? It is a rather odd thing for someone royal to waste their time with personal servants. We are rather seen as means to an end around here. Not someone to converse with.”

The princess flashed a shy smile and if Dan had been younger and more innocent he would have melted at the sight of such a beautiful woman smiling at him. But he had been in the game for way too long and he had almost forgot what it was like to feel attraction to someone. There had only been the blaring exception recently but Dan couldn’t let his mind dwell on that.

“Excuse my frankness, but is it true that you are Prince Philip’s slave?”

Even with the buffer, Dan still flinched away at her use of the word that even people around here avoided. But avoiding the word didn’t make it less true.

“Yes,” Dan answered honestly. “We call it a personal servant and Phil did take me on. He had not planned on it and he has never once taken advantage of the power he has been given over me. He is the least power-hungry person you will ever meet, despite his royal birth. He is selfless and caring beyond understanding. He is trapped in a world where he can hardly breathe without being scrutinised but he has never let it crush his bright spirit. I have seen evil men in my time and Phil is as good as they come, princess. He has never raised a hand against me or anything else. Instead, we have become the most unorthodox of friends. You could not find yourself a more noble husband.”

Dan didn’t realise that he had walked towards Princess Elena as he had spoken but he came to a halt right in front of her. She was watching him carefully with her brown eyes and Dan saw so much emotion and light in her eyes, he started to wonder how cold and dull his must look in comparison. It was a good thing Phil would be looking into her brown eyes instead of his.

“You talk almost as protectively of him as he does of you, Dan,” the princess observed.

“Did you come to talk to me because you feared he was lying?” Dan asked. “I will assure you, Phil is no liar, and especially not to those he values.”

Princess Elena shook her head gently. “No, I had no qualms of the validity of his words. I merely wanted to see the man who he spoke of with such fondness. It is quite apparent that you care for each other.”

Best friends. Just friends.

Dan recited that in his head as the princess’ words threatened to lead his mind down a different path.

“We are best friends,” Dan said.

Elena nodded but in that secretive way that meant she wasn’t actually agreeing to Dan’s words but rather something implicit between the lines. It left Dan feeling unsettled.

“Thank you for taking the time to speak with me,” she said. “I will go find Phil now.”

She actually curtseyed and Dan only managed a rushed and clumsy bow before she was out the door. A princess from a foreign land had just spoken to him as an equal and done a proper respectful farewell. It was odd for someone of royalty to treat a commoner like that and unheard of to a personal servant. Dan wasn’t sure how he had ended up here but he had a feeling it had all started with those compassionate blue eyes, which he would have to say goodbye to very soon.

Dan wanted to hate Princess Elena a bit but he didn’t. In fact, he rather liked her. She was kind, beautiful and clearly cared about Phil, even though she had just met him. She would be a suitable match to Phil and she would almost certainly be a good queen who would reign at his side. It was a dream scenario.

But Dan wasn’t part of that dream and he would have to fall away soon. His heart ached at the thought.

~*~

Phil was pacing the hall outside of his chambers, even if he made sure to walk very far down before turning around so he wasn’t just doing it right in front of his door. When he spotted Elena exiting, he moved up to a jog and caught up with her quickly.

“That was a short conversation,” Phil noted and supressed the urge to walk in and check on Dan.

“I didn’t need much. I just had to confirm something for certain and that was done rather quickly,” Elena said ominously. “Walk me back to my chambers? I would like to speak with you about something in private.”

Phil wasn’t sure he could handle more private talks but he nodded and followed along without complaint. He found himself back in Elena’s guest chambers soon enough and he took an anxious seat next to her on the sofa.

He wanted to ask her if she would give permission for him to officially keep Dan on. If he had his future bride’s approval perhaps he could change his uncle’s mind but he didn’t get a word in before Elena said a sentence that changed everything.

“I cannot marry you, Phil.”

Phil felt as if something had ripped the tablecloth out from under him in a poorly executed magic trick and he now represented all the utensils flying everywhere in a panic. He had not seen this coming. He had been able to read her rather well. He knew Elena found him charming and agreeable and strategically, it was a good match as well. There was no reason to call off the engagement.

“But… why?” Phil eventually stammered out and that made Elena adorn a compassionate smile, as she reached out to hold Phil’s big hands in her petite ones.

“You are a wonderful man, Phil. I do believe you will make a great king someday. I know the agreement would strengthen the trade between our lands in a favourable way. I even believe that I could fall in love with you and be devoted to you for the rest of my life, if you allowed me to.”

When she didn’t continue, Phil spoke up. “But…?”

She cracked a smile at Phil’s prompt. “But… I could not marry you when I see how your heart has already chosen another.”

Phil might have stopped breathing in the confusion. What the heck was she talking about? She couldn’t possible have seen through him already. And it wasn’t even true; it was just some stupid fantasy that could never happen.

“But…”

“You would never be able to love me, not even some day in the future, if I took him away from you, Phil. And I deserve to be loved by my husband. I will not break your hearts nor my own.”

It wasn’t that Phil didn’t know whom she was talking about but it still felt so surreal. Was she right about how deeply Phil cared for him? Had he just been masking it for such a long time that he couldn’t even grasp the prospect properly?

Or was it because no matter what they could never be together? Not with a law between them.

“But Elena… I… we… it could never happen. We both know that. He and I… it’s not… it can never be. I will have to marry a princess, if not you then it will be someone else. And you are…”

Phil stopped speaking to look at the lovely and compassionate woman in front of him and he realised it was selfish asking her to stay just because she was the objectively best option he was going to get. She was right; she deserved to be loved by her husband. She could see herself falling in love with Phil and Phil had only been able to say the same hypothetically. He couldn’t feel it in his bones and condemning her to such a condition wasn’t fair.

Phil never wanted to trap anyone against their will. Ever.

So he leaned back in the sofa and let out a soft sigh.

“You are right,” he said. “It would not be fair to you. I am still a mess. You must know my father only passed recently. I suppose I just didn’t see another way out of this.”

Elena reached out to stroke Phil’s cheek.

“I know this does not solve your problems, Phil. I am sorry I cannot help with those. But maybe this will grant you a little more time together. Perhaps, you will find a solution. I wish only the best for both of you. My heart breaks after having watched you both in your traps…”

“Both of us?” Phil asked.

“Dan in the shackles of a law and you under the whim of your uncle. You are equally trapped and I was never one for the tragic love stories.”

Phil hadn’t thought about it like that. He always felt like Dan’s situation was much worse than his own. He was still technically a free man while Dan had no legal human rights.

“Will your parents approve of your withdrawal?”

“Yes,” Elena said without hesitation or any shred of doubt and it made Phil think of his own wonderful parents, even if he only had one now. “They would never ask me to marry someone if I say no. It is tradition in my land to have arranged marriages but only if both parties agree. There are no forced marriages. They believe it to be bad luck.”

Phil couldn’t help but smile at that.

He wondered if legend of bad luck from breaking a trade deal would counter it. He did not look forward to facing his uncle with the news but selfishly he was thrilled that Dan wouldn’t be out of his life just yet.

He had lost the objectively perfect princess but he found he still held a lot of fondness and gratitude towards Princess Elena. She was looking out for her own well-being and Phil would never blame anyone for that.

It was his fault for his heart not skipping a beat at her undeniable beauty or her incredible mind and compassion. Phil was reluctant to admit it might be because the affections of his heart had chosen a different person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone of you see that coming? I honestly still love Elena so much and I admire her choice, even if it will have grave consequences for the boys in the upcoming chapters. And the waking up in the same bed scene just freaking owns my heart (especially since everything is about to top over from bad to worse, so brace yourself, my dear readers). 
> 
> Also, thank you SO SO much for all of those who nominated this story in the [Phanfic Awards 2017](http://phanficawards.tumblr.com)! It has gotten nominated in several categories (Best AO3, Best Angst, Best Storyline, Best Slow Burn, Best Chaptered) and I'm just freaking baffled by that. [I even wrote a little ramble about it on my writing tumblr.](http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com/post/169353392448/the-nominations-were-announced-i-was-baffled-and) I've never had a work nominated before (granted I only started writing phanfics last autumn). It is a huge honour to have this story stand next to the work of several writers who I have read stories from since I "joined" the phandom. [Voting opens on the 10th of January 2018!](http://phanficawards.tumblr.com) Again, thank you endlessly for keeping this story in mind when you were writing your nominations. It means more than you know. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 13th of January.


	24. Choose Your Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil was not looking forward to telling his uncle that the marriage could not move forward but he had to whether he liked it or not. Meanwhile, Dan was worrying by himself in their chambers until someone came knocking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voting for Phanfic Awards is now OPEN! (see end notes for more)

Dan was pacing again. It felt like it was all he did recently. He had thought Phil might come back after Princess Elena had left but evidently, she had taken Phil with her. They were probably headed to stand in front of the King and confirm the engagement.

Just the thought made Dan’s stomach turn.

Not because of Princess Elena. She was lovely and Dan felt reassured that she would be kind to Phil, even as the jealousy within him still raged. He didn’t want to channel that at the poor innocent princess who had been chosen for Phil.

Dan still couldn’t get the feel of sleeping next to Phil out of his skin. He hadn’t showered and it was like he could still feel Phil on his skin. He never wanted to lose that feeling but he knew it would go away eventually.

Whenever someone new claimed him, as Phil would have to give up control. Dan secretly wondered if the King would be sick enough to take him on personally. If he did, Dan would do everything in his power to strange the old bastard right out of the gate. He had caused so much anguish.

The only thing that might make him pause was the fact he would scoot Phil forward to becoming king if he managed to murder the current one. But Dan felt like Phil would manage. Phil was much more capable than he thought himself. And with sensible Elena at his side, he would do brilliantly. She could probably give better advice than Dan ever did.

The door crept open and Dan hoped to see Phil but he was only a little disappointed to see it was his favourite kitchen maid. Daisy was carrying cookies, so undoubtedly she had heard something horrible and she was trying to make everything better with cake.

Not a bad strategy and Dan would gladly stuff his face in the hopes all the horrible went away for a little while.

“Hi Daisy,” Dan said. “What’s the reason behind the cookies?”

She snorted as she walked into the room and handed off the tin of cookies to Dan. “You know me too well. When did that happen?”

“Some time in the last half year,” Dan joked and took a bite of one of the cookies.

It seemed surreal. He’d been here for roughly half a year. He had been safe for six months. Phil had protected him for that long. The crown prince had done much more than Dan could have hoped for and he needed to stop feeling so down.

Phil’s presence in his life had been a blessing and he needed to focus on that and not the fact that he would lose him.

“So?”

“Well, I know Phil and that princess is supposed to confirm the engagement today and that’ll probably mean that you have to be moved,” Daisy said in a gently voice. “Shit, Dan, it’s not fair.”

Dan found himself with an armful of the tiny kitchen maid as she almost tackled him with her hug. He dropped the tin and the cookie he had been eaten out of surprise at her intensity. Sure, they had become friends but Dan never imagined she would care so much for him.

“Phil will figure something out, Dan,” Daisy promised on the prince’s behalf. “You know him. I know him. He’d never…”

“Daisy,” Dan interrupted and it hurt his heart to do so. He knew how Phil liked to see things but he couldn’t let Daisy get all caught up in the fantasy that Dan could be protected. He couldn’t and he needed someone who saw reality on his side. “He can’t protect me from harm. We all wish that he could but he can’t and I just… I can’t take the empty but well-meaning promises.”

“Dan,” Daisy said and she was hugging him tightly anew, even if she had only loosed her grip and never really let go.

“I don’t know where I’ll end up,” Dan said and blinked away the tears that wanted to claim his eyes. “And I need you to look after him, okay? If anything happened to him… I met Princess Elena and she is wonderful. She will be good for him. And he loves you. Keep being his best friend. Don’t let my departure destroy him. Please keep him together.”

Dan wanted to downplay his own importance and say something that implied that Phil would be fine and Dan was just a random personal servant. He knew how to be self-deprecating but it wouldn’t be fair to all that had passed between him and Phil.

What they had had was worth more than that.

Dan knew that Phil valued him as a friend and he would miss Dan sincerely and likely blame himself.

Dan needed Daisy to be there to smack his head and remind him to move forward and not dwell on the past. There was nothing he could do to change what was about to happen.

“You precious boy,” Daisy muttered into his chest, her arms still squeezing him. “I’ll look out for our Phil.”

But he had never been Dan’s Phil and he never would be, so Dan didn’t fight the sob that escaped him.

~*~

“Are you ready to face your uncle, Prince Philip?” Princess Elena asked him.

The truthful answer was a resounding _no_. He wanted to run back to his chambers and hide with Dan and pretend none of this was happening. But they could not miss the time that had been set for them to come forward in front of the King and confirm their engagement.

Only they wouldn’t be confirming it. They would be renouncing it.

Phil didn’t want to know how his uncle would react. He was fairly sure that it wouldn’t be a pleasant reaction but perhaps Elena’s presence would mollify him just a bit.

“I have to be,” Phil replied and smiled at the woman who could have become his wife.

She took his hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Her eyes were still kind and compassionate and Phil wondered how he wasn’t falling head over heels for the beautiful woman.

“You will be okay. So will Dan,” she told him.

Phil wanted to agree so desperately but he didn’t trust whatever would happen as a result of their action. The King would undoubtedly do something horrible and Phil wasn’t eager to find out what. The best-case scenario was that he just accepted it and sent for another princess for Phil.

Phil knew for certain that it wouldn’t be someone his father had approved of this time.

Elena held onto his hand all the way to the Grand Hall and only then did she let their hands fall apart.

“I can do the talking, if you prefer?” she offered.

“I would appreciate it,” Phil rushed to say.

It was against custom but Phil didn’t give a flying hoot. He was thankful for her offer and he had a feeling the King would take a more polite tone with her.

The doors opened and they made their way down the long hall to where the King was sat. Thankfully, it was rather empty of other personnel except a guard on either side of the King.

The old man grinned in a way Phil deemed evil as they approached. Calculated might have been a better word for it but lately, Phil had just come to associate his uncle with evilness.

“Princess Elena, how wonderful to see you. I trust Prince Philip has been taking good care of you?” the King asked after Phil and Elena had bowed and curtsied respectively.

“He has, your royal highness. Prince Philip has been the perfect gentleman,” she replied.

“And I trust the family is well at home?”

“My family is doing fine, thank you,” she answered, her tone still polite.

Phil wasn’t sure how she could keep a smile on her lips that seemed genuine or speak so politely. She might have taken to the royal upbringing better than Phil had. She had confessed that she didn’t agree with the laws made by the King at all and yet she perfectly played her role.

She would have been such an asset for trade negotiations, Phil thought, even if it were uncustomary for a queen to have a say in those. Phil would have for sure changed that custom for Elena.

“I must say, I am happy to have the union of you two bind together our kingdoms for good,” the King said and Phil’s stomach dropped. The union would never come to be.

“Actually,” Elena said and now her whole demeanour changed. She was no longer smiling but displaying regret. “We cannot confirm the engagement.”

“WHAT!”

The shout from the King startled the princess who leaned closer to Phil who protectively pulled an arm around her. Most people didn’t know about the ruler’s temper and Phil hadn’t thought he would slip up like this in front of the daughter of one of his important business connections but here they were.

The King cleared his throat. “I mean… I don’t understand. Does your father not think the strategic advantage important anymore?”

Elena looked a little shaken but she found her voice.

“I have not spoken to him since I left, so I do believe he is of the same belief, as when you first sent the offer. However, it is because of me that we cannot confirm our engagement.”

Phil had not been expecting her to take all of the blame. Frankly, he had still been so shaken up about the whole thing of her insinuating that he was in love with Dan to think clearly at all. But why wasn’t she throwing Phil under the bus? She could easily have said that he had been unpleasant and she could not marry such a man.

“What do you mean then? If your father still agrees then surely the arrangement stands,” the King barked out and Phil could see the signs that he was losing his patience. He wasn’t used to people going against his wishes and Phil feared a bit for Elena as she continued.

“I do not think I could fall in love with Prince Philip. And while my kingdom has a tradition for arranged marriages, the prince or princess is always allowed deny anyone they see unfit. I know my father will support my decision.”

“What did you do, Philip?” the King asked, completely turning his attention away from Princess Elena to stare at Phil.

Phil felt about two feet tall and he wanted to sink down even further. There was rage ablaze in his uncle’s eyes and Phil’s gut twisted, as he knew there would be terrible consequences from this.

“I…”

“Prince Philip has been the perfect gentleman,” Elena said as Phil stuttered and seemed unable to produce words. “He has behaved like the perfect suitor and it is no fault of his that I am turning down the engagement.”

The King didn’t seem like he had heard Princess Elena at all. He was still staring at Phil with murder in his eyes.

“This was an important deal, Philip, and you have ruined even that,” the King said and Phil wasn’t sure how to reply. Hesitantly, the King turned his attention back at Princess Elena.

“You simply did not just change your mind, Princess Elena, if you think he behaved properly. Something must have changed your opinion and recently. From what I heard you were willing to marry him yesterday.”

“How would you know?” Elena asked and she looked unsettled.

Phil knew how. The King had a policy of bribing staff to bring him gossip of the things that he deemed important. Elena’s assigned housemaid probably had been asked to keep an ear open or maybe even ask the princess for details. Phil couldn’t even blame the staff that much. The sums of money that had usually been offered had been too much to expect them to turn down, especially if they had children who might otherwise fall victim to the law.

“It is of no matter, princess. I simply wish to know the real reason why the two of you kids are ruining a perfectly good trade deal,” the King continued.

Princess Elena looked horrified at his address and Phil wondered if the King was stupid as well as evil. Phil had met Elena’s father on one occasion. You only had to spend about ten minutes with him to know that he adored his children to the moon and back and pissing off his eldest daughter would likely make him cut all trade deals with them.

But it was entirely possible that the King regarded Elena with less importance because of her gender. He had never liked women speaking their mind or making decisions for themselves. He thought men should do it for them. Phil heavily disagreed.

“I beg your pardon,” Elena said and her tone had turned harsh now. “I do not need to justify my choice in spouse, or lack thereof, to you. And you should not try to control Prince Philip’s choice either. He is perfectly capable of finding someone to fall in love with all on his own.”

Elena’s eyes widened and her hand twitched as if she wanted to smack it over her mouth. It wouldn’t take the words back anyway. Phil had gone frozen next to her. Her words could be interpreted in numerous ways but the way a calculating smile made it onto the King’s lips told Phil just how the man interpreted them.

And the worst part was that he was right.

Elena chanced a glance at Phil and she looked so apologetic. She had tried to stand up for him as well as herself. She had probably been frustrated with the King’s blatant ignorance and chauvinism.

Phil desperately wished that he could call upon his father to come in and defuse the situation. He had always known how to handle the King when he was like this. But Phil would never be able to call upon his father for assistance again. His breath hitched as he forced the emotion not to make him cry on top of everything.

“ _Is_ he now?” the King asked and leaned back onto his throne and stroked the bread he’d just started growing a few of months back. “Princess Elena, might I assume you are rejecting Prince Philip because he is too invested in his personal servant?”

“I… No, I’m… I just can’t see myself loving Phil. It has nothing to do with him or anyone else,” Elena said but for once she didn’t sound sure of herself. Her façade had shattered and Phil feared what it might mean.

The King hummed and then called over a guard. He whispered something that Phil tried to hear but couldn’t make it out and the guard promptly left at whatever orders the King had spoken. Phil wanted to get up and run after him. What if they would do something to Dan?

“What was that?” Phil said, and he could feel the deep frown on his forehead.

“No need for you to concern yourself with, nephew,” the King said and clapped his hands loudly. “Well, if that is all, I want to thank you for your visit, Princess Elena. We will arrange transport back to your home tomorrow and do say hello to your father from me.”

“Of course,” Elena replied and then muttered something under her breath that only Phil caught. “I’ll tell him alright.”

Phil had the sinking feeling their kingdom had just lost a very important business partner. He feared for his land but not for the King. He didn’t blame Elena for anything she would tell her father about the rudeness of the Phil’s uncle.

“I thank you for your audience,” the King said and after another bow and curtsy the never-to-be-couple turned around to leave. Phil was eager to get out of here and check up on Dan. “Hold up, Prince Philip, I will need you for a moment.”

Both Elena and Phil paused side-by-side and exchanged glances. Phil already felt a sense of comradely with Elena after she’d seen ugly side of his uncle and still stood her ground. He would actually miss her when she went back home. Though, right now, she seemed inclined to stay by his side.

She undoubtedly knew that her presence was protecting Phil at least to a degree.

“You just move on, Princess Elena,” the King said in a sweet voice.

Elena reached out to hold Phil’s hand for the briefest moment before letting go and hesitantly turning around. She couldn’t disobey a direct order from a King like that no matter how little she liked or respected him.

Phil took a steadying breath and turned back around to face his uncle. With only one guard as a witness, it felt like his uncle could just straight up murder him. But Phil knew that whatever the King was planning it would be much more painful than that. He was always manipulating and moving the pieces around.

“You must ruin everything, mustn’t you, Prince Philip? Every bit as useless as your father.”

Phil’s heart broke and now he was the one with murder on his mind. How dare his uncle speak like that about his late brother? It hadn’t yet been a month and Phil wanted to scream or cry or maybe both.

“My father was a good man and it is bad omen to speak ill of the departed,” Phil said with an as even voice that he could manage. He had to stay level-headed.

“Hmm, either way I never imagined you’d get that attached to your little fucktoy that you’d screw up your chance with one the best princess you could ever dream to get.”

Phil clenched his fists. How dare he speak about Dan like that? He wanted to open his mouth to defend Dan but that wouldn’t do anyone any good. It would just give the King more ammunition.

~*~

Daisy had left to fulfil her kitchen maid duties and Dan felt very alone. He kept lingering by the window and gazing out over the garden. He picked up one of the books on Phil’s bedside table several times but the words on the page just danced around and didn’t make any sense.

He just wanted Phil to come back.

Though at the same time he didn’t because it probably meant that they would have to say goodbye for good and Dan wasn’t ready for that. But he had a feeling he would never be ready to say goodbye to Phil.

So when the door opened, Dan’s heart leapt into his throat. But it wasn’t Phil behind the door. It was two rather angry-looking guards and Dan instantly started moving to the back of the room.

“You are not allowed to enter Prince Philip’s chambers without his express permission,” Dan said in a small voice that didn’t deter the guards from stepping inside at all.

He wondered if this would be it and he would just be yanked away without a chance at a proper goodbye. What was the last thing he had said to Phil? Fuck, he couldn’t even remember!

“We are here on orders of the King and that trumps whatever that little prince says,” said one of them and they kept moving closer to Dan.

“Why are you here?” he asked and he squared his shoulders and hoped his height at least intimidated them a little bit. If he were acting a cowering victim then they would surely treat him as one.

“Our orders were to fetch the prince’s little toy. That would be you,” the other guard said and tried to put a hand on Dan’s shoulder, except Dan swiftly moved back.

The guards looked baffled at his resistance, as if he was just supposed to be an inanimate object they could move around or perhaps a trained dog that always did as it was told.

“Are you resisting the King’s orders?” one of them asked and now he looked menacing.

“I’m demanding to know what’s going on!”

What had happened? Why were guards here on the King’s order and where the hell was Phil?

“You aren’t in a position to make demands. You’re only in a position to follow them. You’re getting shackled.”

One of the guards pulled out shackles like the ones Dan had been wearing when he was originally brought into the Grand Hall. He had forgotten how he had spent years of his life in shackles and he wanted to fight anyone who tried to put him back in them.

He knew it wasn’t wise but he tried to land a punch on the nearest of the guards. They probably hadn’t expected him to fight back because the guard took the punch right in the eye.

However, then things started to move fast and Dan found himself flung onto the floor and a knee in his back. He was having trouble breathing. Not only were his lungs being crushed but bad memories of being held down also came flooding into his mind.

“What is going on here?” asked an authoritarian voice that Dan felt like he recognised.

“That little shit punched me,” answered the guard that wasn’t on top of Dan. “I’ll show him how to really throw a punch.”

“Hold up,” said the new voice again and Dan’s face was pressed into the floor too but he finally recalled who was speaking. It was Daisy’s boyfriend Florian. “Also, it looks like he threw a good enough punch, you’re going blue already.”

“Why are you even here?”

“I came to make sure that you two follow orders,” answered Florian. “The pair of you do not have the best track record. You were told to get him, not hurt him. Now get off.”

Dan’s lungs drew in fresh air as the weight lifted off his back but the mental images spinning in his head didn’t go away as easily.

“He assaulted a guard!” argued the one who hadn’t been punched.

“And I’m sure you want to report that you got that nasty black eye from a personal servant, right?” Florian asked and it was silent as Dan sat up and worked on getting his breath under control. “I thought so. Now shut up and just do your job properly.”

“He was resisting a direct order from the King,” said one the guards but he didn’t sound so sure anymore.

“I’m sure you just spooked him. We’re told to be cautious when approaching personal servants, remember? Some of them haven’t seen other people in months. Of course, he got scared,” Florian said.

Dan wasn’t sure whether to be offended or relieved. He hoped that Florian didn’t actually believe all of that or Daisy should definitely dump his arse immediately. But it was more likely that he was trying to defuse the situation.

“He still needs to be in shackles and be brought to the Grand Hall.”

“An order is an order,” Florian said like a true solider and now Dan wanted to punch him, even if he was taking a gentler approach. “Give me the shackles.”

Dan got to his feet and observed how the other two guards had moved over to wait by the door.

“Hands,” Florian requested, his voice void of emotion.

Dan hesitated and tried to read anything on Florian’s face.

“It’s a direct order from the King,” Florian said loudly and then added something in a quiet voice. “You can’t refuse this, Dan.”

Dan hadn’t even thought that Florian would remember his name and the softness in his added sentence managed to reassure him a little. He put his hands forward but he felt like he was signing his life away as the shackles clicked in place.

His life would go back to what it had been before Phil. He was finished and he never even got to say goodbye.

“I’ll escort you,” Florian said and a hand landed on Dan’s shoulder. Dan tried to shy away but the shackles, which Florian had hold of, wouldn’t let him.

“Suck-up,” one of the other guards muttered as they held open the door and the four of them started moving down the hall. The guards walked side-by-side in front and didn’t try to hide their snide comments about Florian and Dan but at least they were occupied with their insults.

“I heard that they were coming to get you,” Florian whispered. “Those two are horrible. I thought I could help. I’m sorry, Dan.”

Dan still didn’t like the pressure of Florian’s hand on his shoulders or the shackles around his wrists but he was appreciative that the more gentle guard had stepped in.

“What is going on?” Dan whispered.

“I don’t know but it’s nothing good.”

One of the guards turned around to stare at them and conversation was cut short. They came to a halt in front of the double doors that lead into the Grand Hall. Florian took a step back.

“You guys remember to follow the orders correctly next time,” he said but he didn’t leave until the guards went to open the doors.

~*~

“I just thought a little stress release would be good for you. Clearly, you took it a level too far. He must be punished. What do you think is sensible? Ten whips?”

Phil knew he must have paled. Whips? No one was getting near Dan with a whip while Phil was still alive.

“Are you out of your mind?” Phil asked before he could consider his words. “If the blame must fall on anyone in this, it is mine. He has nothing to do with it.”

“Oh, but I think he has, Philip. I think he has much more to do with it than you’re willing to admit. Besides, I can hardly ask that the crown prince be flogged. His personal servant, on the other hand, is a different story. You must be punished for failing to secure Princess Elena’s affections and I have a feeling transferring punishment onto your little boy will make you feel it too, if only metaphorically.”

Again, Phil was stuck with just how diabolical his uncle could be. To make things worse, the side door opened and no one other than Rex stepped through them. He was smiling smugly.

“I was told there was something going on that I might have interest in,” Rex said. “Good afternoon, my dear King.”

“Ah, Rex. Yes, I hoped you might join in of the celebration of Philip and Princess Elena’s engagement but sadly, your cousin did not manage to woo the lady.”

They weren’t even cousins, Phil wanted to point out. They were very distant cousins at best and Phil didn’t like the family association being pulled into things at this point. Frankly, he wanted Rex very much far away from this whole situation. He shouldn’t be poking his nose places where it didn’t belong.

“I am not surprised, Princess Elena is a rather wonderful princess. Prince Philip doesn’t quite measure up, no offence meant, of course,” Rex said. “But what is going on here then?”

“I have asked Phil to consider that punishment he deems suitable for his personal servant for costing us such a vital trade.”

“Little Danny?” Rex asked and Phil wanted to rip the nickname out of Rex’s mouth. “Of course, he’s involved. I told you not to get too invested, Philip. Someone doesn’t know how to use the perks of the law properly, I see.”

“I am glad that at least one of the people in line to the throne see that,” the King agreed.

Phil wanted to leave them alone to bro it up with all their horribleness but he couldn’t move. He wouldn’t be allowed to leave anyway and he was struggling to stay calm at the moment, so saying as little as possible was probably a good idea.

“Rex, what do you think of ten whips?”

“Over losing someone of Princess Elena’s calibre? Double that,” Rex said and he was grinning.

He had always enjoyed taunting others. It wasn’t just the spitballs when they were younger. He got into fistfights a whole lot in his teens and Phil could see that he was gearing up for a fight. There was no way Phil was letting Dan become the punching bag.

“Absolutely not, I would rather take the punishment myself. After all, I am the one she rejected.”

“Always trying to be so noble, huh, Philly? I’m sure you’ll learn some day,” Rex snickered. “Or perhaps not.”

“You will have to choose a punishment, Phil,” the King declared. “I will not let this slide and you know what happens if you oppose me.”

There it was again; the bloody thing that his uncle had always held over his head. Phil wanted to shout at him and say that he didn’t care about the damn crown or his claim to it. But he couldn’t. Even if he didn’t want to lead the kingdom he couldn’t leave all the innocent people in it to the whims of the likes of Rex, who already acted like a miniature version of the King.

Phil would have to give the King something to work with but he couldn’t think of anything that he would be comfortable doing to Dan.

“We could lend him out to that lord that have been asking for him,” the King said.

“Absolutely not,” Phil said, anger in his voice. He was showing how much he cared but he couldn’t help it anymore. The King had already figured it out anyway.

“If you insist on him coming to no physical harm, then I suppose I could allow confinement.”

“Yes! I will keep him confined in my chambers. We can do that,” Phil agreed in a rush.

Rex laughed, as did the King.

“Confinement in the dungeons, of course. How does a month sound? Then perhaps, I will have a new bride for you and you will even forget all about that pesky personal servant,” the King said and leaned forward.

Phil was not agreeing to a month in the dungeons.

“A night in the dungeons,” Phil said hesitantly.

“A night? That’s child’s play!” Rex interjected.

Phil wanted to throw him out of the room but he seemed quite intent to stay and the King wasn’t making him leave. Of course, he wasn’t. Rex was his little favourite.

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Phil argued.

“You still have not understood, Philip. You will have to learn these types of plays if you’re to become a king one day. I do not care about _him_. You are to be punished and he is a weak spot of yours. You should actually be thankful that I’m taking removing one of your weak spots right now. A future king cannot afford to show weakness. Three weeks in the dungeons.”

Phil felt trapped. He also felt horrible for doing this to Dan, even if it was better than the alternatives he was being offered. Phil would never agree to more scars on Dan’s back but was this really any better? Phil was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the sound of the doors opening behind him.

“A week,” Phil bit out.

“What was that?” asked Rex.

“Dan goes into the dungeons for a week,” Phil said louder this time.

It didn’t matter. He wasn’t planning on letting Dan stay there for that long. He was getting the brunet out of here. Dan would forever be caught up in the web of his uncle’s manipulation otherwise. Phil would have to live his life like that but Dan didn’t.

Phil would make sure Dan didn’t have to suffer more under his uncle’s whim. They would figure out a way to free him of the chip and Phil would finance his escape out of the land.

It would become an evil circle and Phil would be forced to marry at some point because unlike Princess Elena, he did not have the power or permission to refuse a marriage union if it was what the King wanted.

Rex was grinning evilly at something behind Phil, so Phil turned around and his heart clenched. Dan was standing in the doorway in shackles with a guard on either side of him. Phil somehow hadn’t heard the door open but Dan had definitely heard what Phil had just said.

But it had been out of context and Dan looked so confused and lost. He didn’t look angry, he just looked sad and Phil wondered how he could comfort him without tipping off his uncle.

“Well, guards. You heard Crown Prince Philip. Lead his personal servant to the dungeons.”

Phil had to do something. He couldn’t let Dan think that he had just agreed to leave him shackled and trapped for a week.

“Wait!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor boys! I'm sorry, guys! Argh!! More angst is coming up (I keep saying this but it remains true). Hold onto your emotions and remember that while they are hurting, they will continue to find comfort in each other. Also the pacing is going back down to mimic the beginning chapters because so much stuff is happening - the previous chapter, this chapter and the three next ones all take place within the same 24 hours. But yeah, angst, which brings me onto talking about the Phanfic Awards, which has now opened for voting!
> 
> I have made [a masterlist post on tumblr with the categories this story is nominated in](http://natigail.tumblr.com/post/169657830763/my-phanfic-awards-2017-nominations) and provide you with the different links to vote. All you'll need is a Google account. Remember to vote for your favourite amongst the nominees listed in each category and I will in no way be offended if you don't vote for this story. It is up against some really wonderful fics. 
> 
> Also, little reminder that I gush about the chapters I'm currently writing of this story on tumblr [@natigail](http://natigail.tumblr.com/) if that's something you're interested in. I'll also answer any asks you might have about the story but don't want to put in the comments. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 20th of January.


	25. In the Darkness of the Dungeons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil just wanted to pause time and be able to talk to Dan to explain what was going on but his uncle was right there. Dan was confused and out of the loop and he wasn't sure what had lead Phil to condemn him to the dungeons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of past rape, LGBTQ+ discrimination

Dan had tried to protest as one of the mean guards grabbed the lead to the shackles from Florian and opened the big doors to the Grand Hall. However, he went still when he saw the King, Phil and Rex clearly having an argument or something.

The first thing Dan noticed was how tense Phil was holding himself, almost as if he might snap any moment and try to attack his uncle. But Dan knew that Phil would never result to a physical attack like that. He was as non-violent as they came.

Dan had tried to repress any memory he had of the King from that day he had met him over six months ago. The King looked vile and there was that smug smile on his face. He was just sat on his throne controlling their lives and making them miserable. The only thing that looked different was the presence of a beard on the King’s face. Dan felt a shiver down his back.

Dan could be violent if the situation called for it. He clenched his fists and desperately wished he had been unshackled and been able to go for an actual attack, no matter how stupid it was and the fact that it almost definitely would lead to his death, no matter if he succeeded or not.

Phil was speaking and Rex asked him to speak up. Dan was straining his ears to pick up on the conversation but he almost wished he hadn’t when he heard Phil repeat himself.

“Dan goes into the dungeons for a week.”

Now Dan was the one with the tightly wound posture.

Phil said…

Those pesky alarm bells in the back of his skull were ringing at full volume anew, even if he had spent months learning to supress them. Phil would not do that to him. But still… Phil was marrying a wonderful princess and he was sending Dan away to the dungeons. What was going on?

He would be locked in there. Anyone could come by and take advantage of him. He would have absolutely no protection from the guards who had been taught to hate and look down on personal servants. Everyone fortunate acted as if it was the poor people’s own fault for not having the finances. It was bloody ridiculous but Dan had long ago learnt not to trust anyone who couldn’t sympathise with money problems.

That is until he met Phil who had literally enough money to make your head spin and yet he had been so understanding and kind and everything. But now it looked like he was letting Dan.

Phil was going to allow for him to be shackled and tied up for a week in the dungeons. The part of Dan’s brain that remained logical tried to remind him that there _had_ to be a good explanation for what Phil was saying but he was having trouble listening to that part over the alarm bells.

Dan had known Phil’s promises had been empty. They were both pawns, even if Phil was royalty.

He felt himself gotten yanked sideways but the guards but he didn’t even protest. He felt as if he wasn’t in his own body anymore. Until he heard Phil speak again, calling out for them to wait.

“What is it, Prince Philip?” asked the King and he sounded like he was trying to come off as bored but Dan detected the hint of curiosity underneath.

“I’ll take him there. He’s my responsibility, right?” Phil said and he was trying to make eye contact with Dan. Dan could feel it but he kept his eyes focused on his shoes. If he looked Phil into the eyes now and saw the pain he could hear in his voice, then Dan would crack too. It was obvious to Dan that Phil was on the verge of falling apart.

Dan knew Phil would never allow this of his own volition but it didn’t feel better to hear the evidence. Dan felt out of the loop and confused but he knew, now that the initial shock was settling, that Phil never would do anything to hurt him. But perhaps, he thought with a sinking feeling, it was better that he just got out of Phil’s life.

“You’re the crown prince, Philly. You have guards for that kind of grunt work,” Rex said.

“Rex is correct. It is an improper request from a crown prince,” the King said. “Remove the personal servant at once.”

The guards yanked at him again and Dan followed mindlessly. He chanced a last glance in Phil’s direction as the doors closed but Phil didn’t see him as he was already turned back to face his uncle and Rex.

“Man, did you see how upset the prince was?” said one of the guards as they yanked Dan down the hall.

“This one must be good with his tongue or something. Anyway, that prince was always odd. I hope the King removes him. It’s unworthy to have one of his kind lead our kingdom,” replied the other.

Dan didn’t really take note of the comment about himself or the fact that Phil must only like him because of sexual favours. He had heard much worse in his lifetime. However, the insinuation that Phil wouldn’t be a good king? That was bullshit. What… because he cared about people below his rank or because he liked boys? The former would only assure that he would be a wonderful king and the latter had absolutely no impact on how he would lead.

Dan was ushered down the stairs and he froze up and he could hardly make his feet move as he was in the crowded space with two guards who clearly didn’t like him much. Well, that might have something to do with the punch he threw. His hand still hurt but he would do it again.

The guard on duty in the dungeon let them pass with just a nod, even if he looked a little worried.

~*~

Phil was fuming and he just wanted to run off after Dan and wrestle him out of the guards’ harsh grips and get those shackles off immediately. He had tried to at least get a moment with Dan, to at least try to explain what had been going on when he had agreed to let Dan stay in the dungeons.

Dan must hate him now, Phil realised with a sinking feeling.

It appeared as if Phil was no better than anyone else, letting someone innocent take the blame while he remained untouched. He had always hated that notion that his life was worth more simply because his father had been of royal blood. He could have been born to a single commoner mother and ended up in the system just like Dan.

Phil didn’t feel like he was worth more because of his privileged birth.

But it was quite clear that the likes of his uncle and even Rex deemed themselves above everyone else.

“May I be excused?” Phil asked through clenched teeth.

Phil raised his chin and matched his uncle’s stare. It was improper to look the King in the eye for extended periods of time, yet Phil didn’t lower his eyes. He hoped that his hatred was visible for once.

He had spent his whole life avoiding his uncle and all that he stood for. Phil had naively thought that would make things easier. He could pretend that he wasn’t related to a horribly bigoted man who was also ruining the kingdom Phil loved so dearly. If he just turned around, maybe he wouldn’t notice the flames at his back.

He was noticing them alright right now. And he wasn’t backing down from this fight.

This had gone on for too long and it would have to come to an end.

Phil might not be able to speak his mind but no one said anything about non-verbal signs of rebellion. Phil was done turning the other cheek while people got beaten down. If he would one day become king, he needed to start acting like one and that begun with actually looking out for the people who he would rule.

Phil had to start plotting how to get the King impeached immediately.

“You may both go for now,” the King said, his eyes still targeted on Phil’s. “I have more important business to attend to and I will have to restart the search for a bride for you, Prince Philip.”

Phil gave a crude nod and then turned on his heels and marched out. He had to get a hold of Daisy and he would need Florian’s help too. He could only beg that the guard was willing to go against his loyalties to the monarch who employed him.

Rex followed him out, barely managing to match Phil’s swift steps.

As the big double doors closed, Phil found himself in the hallway, which was empty other than him and Rex. Phil let out a breath and unclenched his jaw.

“You really care about him that much?” Rex asked and there was pure astonishment in his voice. “It’s not like… an act?”

Phil had never heard Rex speak in that tone of voice and he felt like he lost his footing momentarily. It wasn’t like he was about to confess to Rex of all people how he felt about Dan, especially since Phil wasn’t even sure how he felt himself.

Rex whistled. “Man, you’re an idiot. You’re the next in line to be king and you waste your time on that mess of a personal servant. Phil, take my advice for once, you can literally have your pick of beautiful princesses and power. Why are you so intent on screwing that up? You would be much better off just following the rules that your uncle sets.”

And just like that the little moment of hope Phil had had for Rex maybe being a halfway decent person vanished. Not only because of the way he spoke about Dan but more so that he thought it was actually acceptable to adhere to the whims of an evil man to get power.

The worst part of it? Rex sounded like he actually was trying to help.

“You still haven’t got it,” Phil said and shook his head. He didn’t have time for any of this. He needed to get hold of Daisy, Florian and possible Willard and get working on breaking Dan out of the dungeons immediately. Phil wasn’t letting him spend even one night down there.

“What do you mean?” Rex said and put a hand on Phil’s arm as Phil moved to leave.

Phil exhaled annoyed. “I mean that you’re just as power hungry as he is, _Rex_. You think anything is excusable as long as it makes you more powerful, as long as it makes _your_ life better. You should try to think of someone other than yourself once in a while. And the people who aren’t of noble birth aren’t worth any less.”

Phil was speaking out of term and it was going to come back to bite him in the arse.

To his surprise, Rex laughed. “Everyone is looking out for numero uno. If you don’t think that then you’re the one who doesn’t get it. And you’re wrong about that other thing too. Power is our birth right.”

“There’s not such thing,” Phil hissed and yanked his arm out of Rex’s grip. “You don’t pick your parents. You just have to work with the life you get thrust into. Some are lucky, some aren’t. Try asking Amanda if she ever did anything wrong to end up in a position where men can touch her without her permission.”

“Amanda?”

Phil groaned in frustration. “ _Your_ personal servant. You might accuse me of caring too much, Rex and maybe that will be my downfall but I would much rather remain myself than turn into the likes of my uncle or you.”

With that last remark, Phil stormed off, leaving Rex speechless in his wake. He had said too much and he had been speaking too loudly right outside of the Grand Hall. Curious ears might have listened in. Phil couldn’t bring himself to care.

He felt horrible and like he was letting down his father’s memory. He had remained silent for 25 years of his life and almost the moment his father had gone, Phil had started screwing up. He was on the verge of losing all he had worked to keep his whole life.

But he wouldn’t let it slip away.

He would free Dan first. With him safely away, Phil would accept his fate.

He would marry whatever princess the King chose. He would stop turning away from his uncle’s deeds but instead look for reasons to call his actions into question. He would play the long game and try to find a way to overturn the current monarch. He would endure whatever hell-wife he might get settled with during it.

Phil would find a way to protect everyone, even if he had to give up his own freedom to do it. He would start with breaking Dan out of the dungeons.

~*~

The dungeons looked exactly like Dan had expected them too. They were dark and damp and he didn’t want to spend a single minute in them, let alone a week. But it wasn’t like he had much of a choice.

He was manhandled into a cell with a creaky door. Shouts sounded at the arrival of a new cellmate. Most of it sounded to be male voices, taunting the guards or Dan. Thankfully, Dan had practice in tuning out unwanted voices.

The guards threw him down onto the hard ground and locked his shackles to the wall opposite the cell door. Dan had barely managed to correct himself when he was yanked to his feet and shoved against the wall by the guard he had punched in the face.

“You gave me quite the shiner, impressive for such a little wimp. But this is how a real man punches.”

Dan wasn’t proud to admit that he closed his eyes. He had taken beatings before but it felt like such a long time ago. But he might as well get used to the aching bones and healing bruises like he had been before. However, before the guard’s fist connected to his face, someone loudly cleared their throat.

Dan snuck open one eye to find a man in a guard uniform standing in the opening of his cell.

“I believe punching the prisoners is prohibited,” said the new guard lingering next to Dan’s cell. He crossed his arms and revealed massive biceps, but oddly, it didn’t feel like he was threatening Dan.

“How you and your buddy Florian made the guard team is a fucking mystery,” the guard holding Dan said as he shoved his hand against Dan’s chest but then moved back. “Pussies, the lot of you.”

“There are rules that must be followed,” the guard, that had stopped the beating, replied. Florian’s buddy. Huh, perhaps Dan had been a little rash in assuming all the guards would be arseholes. But perhaps he thought Dan was like a political prisoner, who deserved respect and not merely a personal servant. They probably didn’t get locked up in the dungeons a lot. Mostly, they would probably get a beating by their owners and that would be it.

If Phil had been asked to hurt Dan…

Oh my fuck, that would have absolutely destroyed Phil’s heart.

The two guards left the cell while throwing stink eyes to the guard. Dan now realised it had been the man they had passed on their way in. He calmly shut the cell door and locked it.

“I’m sorry on their behalf. They have no right to do that to you.”

“They think they do,” Dan found himself saying. “Since I’m just a personal servant.”

“Still a person,” the guard said with a shrug. “I’m Sean. The guard duty changes around but I’m on for tonight. I’ll look out for you.”

Dan wasn’t sure if he wanted to believe this random guard he had never met. The other guards had referred to him as a buddy of Florian’s who was Daisy’s boyfriend but that was a long way to stretch trust for Dan.

So he just nodded and sat up more normally against the wall. Maybe this Sean would make good on his promise but Dan wasn’t going to get his hopes up anymore.

He would handle whatever came next. He just hoped that Daisy would make sure to look after Phil. Whatever had brought Phil to utter those fated words condemning Dan, it couldn’t be good.

The negative thoughts were claiming that this was Phil showing his true colours but if Dan didn’t listen blindly to those, he knew that Phil would never ever do that to him. However, Dan also knew how much Phil would blame himself if Dan ended up hurt, abused or even murdered while he was down here.

Those guards would be back. He would get hurt in one way or the other while in this cell. He could feel it.

“Since when did they start throwing personal servants down here?” asked a rough voice to Dan’s left.

Dan looked over to see a man, probably his father’s age, with a long beard and the same cold eyes that Dan had gotten so used to seeing in the mirror. Just like seeing the King with a beard, this vision also brought back bad memories. Dan wondered if he would be triggered by bearded men his whole life.

Instead of replying, Dan moved so he could hug his knees to his chest. He didn’t want to become pals with his cellmate and he wasn’t good at talking to people anyway.

“Quiet type, eh? I used to be like that,” the man said. “I gave everyone the silent treatment but no one cared. I think they preferred I kept my mouth shut. So now I open it as much as possible. So you’ll have a much better time indulging me, kid. I promise, I’m not as scary as I look.”

Dan had been taught that people who got locked up had always done something bad, so he was a little hesitant. But then again, some people might be wrongly imprisoned like himself.

“What did you do?” Dan asked.

“Killed a guy.”

Dan hadn’t expected such a straightforward answer and he wanted to move slightly away form the murderer in the cell next to his.

“He deserved it though. He attacked and tried to rape my little girl. I interfered. He got even more violent and tried to kill me. I killed him first. But of course, he was of noble blood, so it was labelled murder and I was thrown in here to rot for the rest of my days. I would have done it again though. Anything for my little girl.”

Dan nodded. He was learning that life wasn’t ever really black and white. He wasn’t sure that he could condone murdering someone but if it had been in self-defence then that was a different story than murder. Dan didn’t have the heart to tell the man that his daughter likely would have ended up a personal servant by now. Kids with one parent usually did.

“So, that’s my lock-up story. What’s got you special enough to come down here?”

Dan didn’t want to talk to this man but it didn’t seem like he was going to shut up if he didn’t. “I’m the crown prince’s personal servant. He ordered me down here.”

It sounded wrong even coming out of his mouth but it had been the truth. Dan had heard the words from Phil himself. He didn’t know the context but Phil had said them no matter what.

“Damn royalty, all the fucking same. It’s a shame, kid. I’m sorry you ended up in that life. I hope someone comes charging in here and kill the lot of those Lesters. Let us get new blood in. Theirs is tainted.”

It wasn’t a fair assessment and Dan wondered how long this man had been in here. The King was horrible but Phil’s father had been well liked. Martyn and Phil hadn’t been in the public eye that much and they had tried very hard to remain private, so not a lot of people knew what they were like. However, condemning them just because they were related to that horrible man was equally unfair as when nobles assumed personal servants had brought the life upon themselves.

“Not all of them should die,” Dan said. “The King is bad but… don’t judge his nephews on his actions.”

The man hummed thoughtfully but then he started ranting on and on about how the royal family – or really just the King without the others interfering – had ruined their beautiful country.

Dan sighed and closed his eyes and tried to tune it out.

~*~

“You want us to what?” Daisy asked.

Phil, Daisy and Florian were all in Phil’s chambers at Phil’s request.

“We’re breaking Dan out of the dungeons and getting him as far away from my uncle as possible,” Phil repeated. “I’m not letting him spend even one night down there. I know the horror stories, even if I have tried to ignore them. I’m not subjecting him to being chained to the wall and unable to defend himself if someone decides to take advantage.”

“I understand, Prince Philip, but…” Florian said.

“Call me Phil, please. And I know it’s a lot to ask. The castle employs you both and you’ve got a lot to lose by helping me but I cannot do this alone. And I can’t leave him there…”

“It’s a big risk for you as well, Phil. Your uncle will undoubtedly figure out that you were the one who allowed Dan to escape and he’ll find a way to punish you for that too. And what is to keep them from just tracking Dan and bringing him right back?”

“I have a handle on that too. We’re going to need Willard’s help.”

“The black smith?” Daisy asked.

“Yeah, he oversees deliveries and they always happen late at night. Also, his sister is a doctor, so she will know how to remove chips without hurting Dan. I haven’t asked him yet but it has to work out.”

“Phil, that’s a lot of variables,” Daisy said worriedly.

“It will work out. It has to,” Phil said stubbornly. “I need to be able to get into the dungeons and get Dan out. So we need Florian to take on the night shift in the dungeons tonight. And Daisy, I’ll need you to go around and distract the guards on duty around the castle with baked goods when we sneak Dan out. We’ll also need to knock out the other inmates so we need to spike their food with sleeping powder or something.”

“I don’t think this will…”

“Daisy,” Phil interrupted and he knew he sounded pathetic and wrecked but he didn’t care. “ _Please_. I beg of you. We have to get him out. I’m going insane with the knowledge that I put him there. I know it’s dangerous. I know this could all blow up in my face but I have to try. I can’t let Dan down. He probably already hates me.”

Phil felt tears welling up in his chest. He had just lost his father. He was not willing to lose Dan too. Even if to save him, Phil had to give him up as well. Phil couldn’t let the coldness take hold of Dan’s eyes again. He would never let anyone lay a finger on him anymore. Dan had been through so much and he deserved to be safe now.

And he wasn’t safe in the dungeons. It was the worst place for him to be. They had to get him out and just figure out the plan as they went along. Phil would have loved more time but the evening was drawing nearer and nearer.

“Dan doesn’t hate you, Phil,” Daisy said in a soft voice. “He really doesn’t. He asked me to look out for you if he got taken away. He cares about you very much.”

Daisy reached over and took Phil’s hand in hers.

“I will do whatever you require of me, Prin-Phil,” Florian said and Daisy shot him a worried glance. “I have sworn loyalty to the House of Lester and despite the King being the head, he is not worthy to sit there. You, however, is very worthy of the throne and you have my support.”

Phil was so touched and emotional that he almost choked up. A moment later, he found Daisy’s familiar arms around him and a moment later, with hesitance, Florian’s.

He was so thankful to have their support. Now he just had to convince Willard to help too and he would have to sit through a dinner with the King and his family. In the meantime, Florian and Daisy would go to work at their tasks.

Willard wasn’t happy about the idea at all but he must have seen something in Phil’s eyes because he caved and agreed to help and to reach out to his sister for her assistance as well.

“This is a foolish plan, Prince Philip,” Willard had said. “But coming from a fool in love it’s hardly a surprise.”

Phil hadn’t even flinched. He didn’t need to label whatever he felt right now. It didn’t matter. He just needed to get Dan as far away from the castle as humanly possible. He would be losing him either way, so it didn’t matter how he truly felt about the guy who had become one of the most important people in his life.

He just had to keep the wheels turning. During the dinner, Phil was more quiet than usual and his mother and Martyn definitely noticed but they didn’t try to address it in public company. The King was looking smug as ever and with every horrible statement he said about this and that, Phil mashed his fork a little too hard into his potatoes.

It didn’t matter. They were saving Dan and then Phil would bring his family in on what had been going on. He couldn’t involve them in the jailbreak and they likely wouldn’t allow him to go through with his half-arsed plan. But he had to try. For Dan, he had to do what he could.

~*~

Dan really wished his cellmate would just shut up. The man kept going on and on about the injustices of society and all the horrible laws that the King had implanted in his reign. It wasn’t that it wasn’t fascinating stuff, it actually was, but Dan just didn’t want to hear about it at present moment.

They had been served a bowl of some kind of porridge that Dan hadn’t touched. He wasn’t hungry at all despite having eaten nothing all day. There had been a time in his life where he hardly ate at all, so he could handle this. Perhaps, where he would end up food would be a luxury.

“Are you not going to eat that, kid?” the breaded man in the cell beside him asked. Dan was sure he had said his name at some point, but Dan had been busy trying to drown out his voice.

Voicelessly, Dan shoved the bowl through the bars. The man finished it with a healthy appetite.

Dan rested the back of his head against the cold stonewall, as he pondered how he was going to handle living now. His upbringing had been a little tense and he had never had someone who cared about him like Phil had in these past months. Phil had shown him unconditional support and… love, probably.

Dan had always shied away from that word but what did it matter now anyway? It was scary to admit he could love someone that weren’t family, when he even hated his family at times. But yeah, it was pretty obvious.

Dan got jealous when he saw Phil with the woman he would be marrying.

Dan had gotten into bed with Phil willing and knowing he wouldn’t be hurt.

Dan had opened up about his dark past to Phil several times.

Dan couldn’t imagine how he would make it a single day without speaking to Phil.

Dan had laughed louder when he was with Phil than ever before.

Dan trusted Phil with his whole heart.

Wasn’t that love?

Was it stupid to admit that Dan might love Phil now that they might never see each other again? Would it only break his heart more when someone else took to his body without permission or beat him to a pulp? Or would it hurt more if he just forced himself to forget about all the happy feelings Phil had made him feel?

“You’re looking awfully thoughtful there, kid.”

“Just thinking,” Dan replied.

“Must be something bright for you to smile like that while you’re locked up in this shithole.”

“He is. He’s the brightest person you’ll ever meet. I’m too broken for him but… I think I love him.”

Dan just needed to try saying the words out loud. They didn’t feel as scary as he had imaged them to be. He had never thought he would be able to feel love like that. He had been content to lock his heart away and just wait until this slave life eventually got him killed.

But then Phil had come stumbling into his life, all kindness and bright eyes and an urge to make Dan hurt less.

Dan was dooming himself by falling for the prince he could never have. But he also realised that there was little he could have done to stop it. With every kind word or offer of support or gentle touch, Phil had just wormed his way into Dan’s cold heart and warmed it up from the inside.

“Love,” the man noted and let out a heavy sigh. “That’s dangerous for your wellbeing, son.”

“I know.”

The man yawned loudly and cleared his throat. “But it’s also a wonderful thing. Remember what I said about my daughter? I would go back and pry that predator off her in a heartbeat, even if it landed me right back here. If that’s the kind of love you find, you’ll do anything to protect the ones you care about.”

Dan nodded. He knew there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for Phil. He wondered if Phil could possible feel the same for him. Dan hoped not. He did not want Phil to go through that kind of heartbreak. But he didn’t think so. Dan had meant what he said about being broken. He didn’t think he could inspire the kind of love he might feel for Phil.

Surprised that his buddy in the next cell had shut up, Dan looked over there to see he had slumped down, sleeping at an awkward angle. Dan got to his feet and tried to look down at the cells further down. Where there had been chatter before was now only the sound of people snoring.

Dan eyed the bowls suspiciously and he was suddenly very happy that he hadn’t been hungry. But why would someone make all the prisoners to sleep? Dread filled Dan’s stomach. This couldn’t be good.

His head snapped up when he heard several voices out front where the guard Sean was sitting and keeping watch. Dan moved as much forward as his shackles allowed and listened intensely.

No, it couldn’t be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voting for the Phanfic Awards 2017 ends tonight (on the 20th)! If you like this story you can vote for it [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScHkcv2mhUjN1XqT1OloaNh0794y8ZzFCT1CX8wWiLP0FjVMA/viewform), [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScvvMKvmdJCtCM-uF-b5PLU2YnQQiP3Z45pQg4KYDtJTO71lg/viewform) and [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfrWxTtTVd-bs-_TJvXK1-xbyrdYQmUoK2ITUf77zSgbawXTg/viewform). Thank you to the people who have already voted for it. And no hards feeling if you chose one of the other wonderful nominees - it's important to pick your favourite. 
> 
> Also, sorry for more angst and cliff-hangers *tense face*. But at least Dan is trying to keep spirits high, even if he's struggling and most importantly he isn't blaming Phil. What do you think of Phil's rescue plan? Too risky and rushed? Necessary because it might break Dan out? Let me know your thoughts.
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 27th of January.


	26. Two Broken People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil could never have imagined that rushing into the dungeons with the intentions of breaking out Dan would result in this. Dan was baffled when Phil appeared before him but he instinctively pulled forward to try to get closer.

Florian hadn’t been able to get rescheduled to take the night duty but thankfully, it was one of his friends that had it and he had assured Phil that this Sean would allow them to break out Dan.

Phil didn’t like involving someone in the plan that he didn’t know personally but they didn’t have much of a choice if this jailbreak had to happen tonight. The earliest Florian could get on would be the following day and there was no way in hell that Phil was letting Dan stay down there overnight.

Phil had learnt that Dan had punched a guard square in the face and that had undoubtedly made him a target. On top of that there was the people who might want to take advantage of the fact Dan was finally away from the safety of Phil’s chambers.

No, Phil was getting Dan as far away from all of this horribleness as possible. Even if he had to give him up.

He would do anything to keep him safe.

They had figured out that it would be a whole lot safer if the other prisoners were knocked out and unable to bear witness to the crime, so Daisy had managed to spike the porridge that they got for dinner with a sedative. Phil had been almost certain that Dan wouldn’t touch the food, as Dan tended to retreat into himself and refuse to do anything when he was feeling bad.

Florian and Phil headed towards the dungeons around 10 PM and before they had coordinated with Daisy who had all the distracting cookies ready to go as they exited. Afterwards, Phil would take Dan to the smith and where Willard would take him out of town and to his surgeon daughter who would be able to remove the tracking chip in Dan. Phil hadn’t seen Willard’s daughter Marble since he was a kid and she was a teenager but he remembered her being kind. That would have to do for now.

They didn’t have time for a better plan.

The guard on duty in the dungeon, Sean, seemed very surprised to see Florian and Phil. He jumped to his feet and did a bow and Phil flailed around, trying to stop it.

“Prince Philip, what are you…” Sean started to say but Florian cut him off.

“We are about to ask a big favour of you, Sean. I know it is a lot to ask of you but we need to allow for us to remove Prince Philip’s personal servant from the dungeons.”

Sean looked confused and glanced from Phil to Florian.

“I’m guessing this isn’t a sanctioned prison release.”

“No,” Phil admitted. “It is actually going directly against the word of the King. But technically I am the one who put Dan in here and I am going to get him out.”

“Brunet? Tall? Hell of a mean stare?” Sean asked and Phil nodded.

“He didn’t get hurt, right?” Phil asked, heart already in his throat.

“No,” Sean said. “Well, he almost had an alteration with the guards that brought him here but I stepped in before something happened.”

Phil leaned forward and wrapped the guard in a hug instantly. Sean mumbled something and tried to break away and he looked embarrassed as Phil finally pulled back.

“It was nothing, your highness,” Sean said and coughed as to break the awkward tension threatening to settle.

“Will you let us pass?” Florian asked.

“I don’t have much choice, do I?” Sean asked and it sounded jokingly.

“You do,” Phil said sincerely. “If you are truly loyal to my uncle then I would not blame you if you go to him and rat me out. What I’m attempting to do is illegal and you would be within your right to stop me.”

Sean looked baffled again and looked to his friend for reassurance.

“I told you our new crown prince was a special man,” Florian said and he sounded proud. “I would not be asking this of you if I didn’t believe in this, old friend. I don’t know Dan well but I know he does not deserve to get punished like this. The King will never let up using him to keep Prince Philip in line.”

Phil hadn’t expected such deep support from Florian and his heart warmed. He was bouncing on back and forth on his feet, very eager to sprint into the dungeons and wrap Dan up in a hug. They had only been separated for some hours and yet he couldn’t wait to see him again.

Sean let out a sigh. “This is going to land us all in trouble. But, Crown Prince Philip, my loyalties were always to your father rather than your uncle. He was the one who put in a good word for me to get a job here despite a complicated past. I am forever indebted to him.”

With that, Sean raised his one of his hands to indicate the way to the cells while he grabbed the keys in the other and handed them to Phil.

“Go get him. I never saw you.”

“I will stay here, Prince Philip, but call if you need assistance,” Florian said.

As soon as Phil started moving, he heard whispered arguments between the two guards but he couldn’t worry about that right now. He was going to see Dan.

~*~

Dan hadn’t been sure that the voices were real and they were too muffled that he could make out what they were saying. But everything changed when someone very familiar turned the corner.

Phil stopped in his track, a look of joy on his face as he sprinted towards Dan’s cell. Dan tried to move closer too but the chains caught him and all he got was pain shooting up his wrists.

It barely registered.

He wondered if he was hallucinating because there was no way Phil would be here, keys in hand and storming towards him.

“Dan,” Phil whispered as he clasped his hands around the bars and Dan could see that he was shaking from here. Dan had never heard anyone say his name with so much emotion.

Dan felt his chest heave and his eyes begun to feel wet. This couldn’t be real.

Phil finally let go of the bars and fumbled with the set of keys. He looked like he didn’t want to pull his eyes away from Dan for even a moment, as if Dan might vanish into thin air if not watched constantly.

Dan was straining his wrist against the shackles but he didn’t care. Phil dropped the keys somehow and muttered “oh dear.”

“It really is you,” Dan whispered but then reality seemed to catch up with him. “Phil, what is going on? Why are you here? Why did you send me down here? What is going on?”

“Just… let me get this open first,” Phil said and finally the lock clicked open and Phil came rushing into the cell and straight into Dan’s arms.

Dan wasn’t able to hug him back with his hands tied, but Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder and nuzzled as close as he could. He had been bereaved of the goodbye they promised each other and Phil had come to give him at least that, Dan reasoned.

“I’m so, so sorry, Dan,” Phil said and hugged Dan even tighter. “I didn’t want to do this to you but my uncle… he’s such an arsehole. He made me… and I didn’t want… I’m sorry… Dan, please forgive me.”

Phil was getting more and more incoherent by the moment and Dan tried to reach out and stroke the prince’s back as a sign of comfort but his hands got caught and the shackles jiggled.

Phil sniffled as he pulled back and he clasped his left hand around Dan’s wrist. “Let’s get you out of these.”

Dan wanted to argue that it probably wasn’t a good idea but he was still so confused, so he found himself just following Phil’s lead.

“There,” Phil said as the shackles clanged onto the floor and Dan moved forward to wrap his arms around Phil. He felt like he was the one who was shaking now.

“Dan, please tell me that you don’t hate me,” Phil whispered and his voice sounded so fragile like Dan would be able to shatter him entirely with just a couple of words.

But Phil didn’t need to worry at all. Dan wasn’t sure he would ever be able to hate him and right now the opposite emotion was dancing around in his heart.

“Of course, I don’t hate you,” Dan whispered and somehow his lips found the edge of Phil’s jaw as he turned to speak to Phil.

Phil stiffened for a moment and his hands went a little slack before he pulled back. He looked flushed.

“I don’t deserve you,” Phil said and Dan laughed loudly, so much that it surprised himself. Phil seemed equally taken aback.

It was just so ridiculous. That was Dan’s line. Dan was the one who didn’t deserve someone as kind as Phil caring for him. It hurt in his heart so much that they would never get a chance to be together.

“I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, dork,” Dan clarified. “Thank you for coming down here and saying goodbye before you get officially engaged to Princess Elena.”

Dan didn’t even care why Phil had sent him down here in the first place. Every time something bad happened in their lives it could usually be summarised into a simple sentence: the King was an arsehole.

~*~

“Wait? What are you talking about?” Phil asked but then it dawned on him that Dan obviously didn’t know that he and Elena had decided to call of the engagement. They had just decided that this morning but it felt like ages ago now. Phil had been running around all day trying to figure out how to keep Dan from getting hurt.

“You-“

“We’re not engaged,” Phil blabbed. “She didn’t want to marry me.”

“How could someone not want to marry _you_? You’re gorgeous, kind and a literal beam of sunshine!”

Phil flushed at the compliment and his heart might have skipped a beat. He hadn’t wanted to dwell on the fact that people kept saying that he loved Dan. It was a very dangerous thing to admit to himself.

Mostly because he felt guilty about it and he worried that Dan might resent him for it. But then Dan said stuff like that and Phil felt like maybe Dan might, just maybe, feel the same way.

But none of that mattered right now.

“Forget about it. We’re getting you out of here,” Phil said and took Dan by the hand and started to drag him out of the cell. To Phil’s surprise, he felt a jerk as Dan refused to be led out of the cell.

“What are you doing, Phil? This is going to get you into trouble. The King made you send me down here, right? Even if you’re not engaged, we can’t just go back to your chambers.”

“We’re not. I’m getting you out. Officially out. As in, out of the castle, out of the city, and we’re getting that chip out. You’ll be able to live a free life.”

Dan didn’t look remotely happy enough for someone who had just been told they would get their life back after having been enslaved for almost four years. He was frowning and looking at Phil like he was an idiot.

“That’s even stupider. Phil, the King will find out. Someone will see me,” Dan said and looked around. “Even if I’m guessing all the prisoners falling asleep was one of your tricks.”

Phil nodded. “And I talked to Sean, the guard outside here, and Daisy will distract other guards as we make our escape and Willard will get you to his daughter who can get that chip out of you. It’s all planned out. You just have to follow me.”

Phil knew his words came out in a desperate tumble but he didn’t care. He pulled on Dan’s hand again but the brunet remained unmoving and Dan’s eyes had shifted from confusion to pity.

“I can’t, Phil. Even if we miraculously make it out without anyone seeing us, the King will still know. He’ll disown you for one reason or another if you do this. I can’t let that happen to you or the people of this land just to save my own hide.”

At times like this, Phil really wished that Dan wasn’t such a damn good person. He just wanted Dan to act selfishly but here he was putting Phil’s future before his own. For a survivor, Dan had seemed really bad at self-preservation lately.

“Prince Philip,” called Florian who appeared in the entrance to the cells. “We should get going soon.”

“I’m… I need more time,” Phil begged and squeezed Dan’s hand a little harder.

Florian seemed to get it and he nodded before disappearing again.

“You involved him too? And Daisy I assume. Plus Willard and his daughter and then I’m guessing Florian roped his buddy Sean in on it too. Phil! Can’t you see how many people you’re endangering to get me out?”

Phil hadn’t. It wasn’t like him but he had been so focused on the task that he had ignored the repercussions. It was like he had tunnel vision and the only thing that had mattered to him was Dan. He had been willing to sacrifice himself but now that he thought about it, he knew he would probably be hurt least of all.

His noble birth protected him to a degree. It was everyone else who would suffer the blunt of an attack from the King. Phil didn’t have many weak spots other than the people he cared about and his uncle knew that. He would hesitate to use them to hurt Phil, just like he was using Dan now.

“I can’t lose you, Dan. You can’t stay here,” Phil begged.

~*~

“I have to,” Dan said, even as it was killing him.

He could not endanger that many people. It wouldn’t be fair for just the chance at a free life. He was tough. He would be able to handle whatever life threw at him. He had gotten knocked down so many times in life but so far he had always managed to get up.

“ _Dan_ ,” Phil whined.

“I’ll be fine, Phil. I’ve been through worse than whatever this dungeon will throw at me or where I’ll be placed when the King find your new wife.”

Phil started moving and suddenly Dan found himself pressed up against the bars with Phil keeping him trapped. His heart jumped into his throat but it wasn’t fear this time.

“ _Fine_ is not enough. I want you to be happy. I want you to still be able to laugh loudly with your whole body. I want you to be surrounded by people who care about you. I want you to be loved, Dan. I can’t have you go back the mess you were when we first met; you’ve come far to go back into survival mode. Please.”

Phil was standing so close and his words cut right past all of Dan’s defences. His heart felt like it might leap out of his chest any moment.

But Dan wouldn’t let Phil talk him into leaving. He was extremely stubborn when he wanted to be and there was no way he was risking Phil or anyone else. Besides, Dan wasn’t sure he would be able to be happy in some secluded cabin in the mountains or something.

Dan was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be happy without Phil in his life.

“Phil, you know this is wrong,” Dan said carefully, his voice coming out in a lower pitch than usual. “You’ve rushed into this plan without considering the consequences. And… I don’t want to leave the castle. I don’t want to leave you. I’ll take becoming one of the castle’s common personal servants if that’s what it takes.”

Phil looked so taken aback and worried. “But Dan…”

“It’s non-negotiable. I’m not letting you break me out of here. I care about you too much for you to ruin your life over me, Phil,” Dan confessed.

“Instead, you’re letting me ruin yours,” Phil said in a defeatist voice and he leaned forward until their foreheads connected. Phil shut his eyes and braced his hands on the bars of either side of Dan.

“My life cannot be ruined. It has been in ruins for a long time, as have I. I appreciate the light you’ve brought into my life for these past six months. It has been the best gift I could ever have asked for. But I am broken.”

~*~

Phil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Dan wasn’t ruined.

“It’s the kind of broken that cannot be repaired,” Dan added.

Phil clenched his fists around the bars and let out a breath, which mingled with Dan’s and Phil was reminded just how close he had gotten them. Dan would never have allowed Phil to get this close before but things were different now.

Dan had asked to sleep in Phil’s bed. Dan hugged him of his own accord. There was so much trust between them now.

“It doesn’t need to be repaired,” Phil said and his voice had a slight tremble to it. It was somehow easier to speak with his eyes closed and Dan’s body so close to his. “You can be broken and still be happy. Your life doesn’t end with your trauma. You live on in spite of it. And I can assure you, I am not always the beam of sunshine that people paint me out to be. You know better. You know how I grieved and broke over my father. You know how I have had to watch my moves all of my life, terrified I might slip up and disappoint my family. You know how difficult it is for me to trust people in this world where everyone cares about my title first. You might not have realised but I was miserable quite a lot growing up, despite my family and Daisy being in my life. I have felt trapped in a role I didn’t want ever since I was born.”

“Phil,” Dan whispered and felt Dan’s fingers stroke across his cheeks, undoubtedly wiping away tears Phil hadn’t even realised was falling.

“Trust me, I’m broken too.”

A silence settled over them after Phil’s words. The silence felt hot and heavy until Phil cleared his throat and spoke again.

“We might be broken but that doesn’t stop us. We carry on, Dan.”

“I still can’t leave, Phil,” Dan whispered.

On some level, Phil knew that. He had seen the stubbornness in Dan’s eyes. He had already decided and no one was changing his mind on this one. Phil felt the fear for Dan’s safety still course through his body but he knew that this battle had been lost. Dan would stay here and he would have to endure a week in the dungeons like Phil had hesitantly condemned him too.

But then he would get out and they would figure things out from there.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Dan. Anything for you.”

Phil opened his eyes and disconnected their foreheads, even though he stayed close. Dan’s eyes looked as red-rimmed as Phil’s eyes felt but he had not been prepared for what Dan did next.

In fact, Phil had been convinced that this would never happen between them. He almost pulled back out of surprise but his instincts must have reacted instead because he leaned forward.

Their lips met tentatively and Phil wanted to stop and ask if Dan was okay and why he was doing this but it was like his mind had short-circuited. Dan’s lips had a tendency to be chapped but they felt so soft as they melted against Phil’s own. Phil’s hands moved away from the bars and found Dan’s waist instead.

Dan pulled back and Phil worried that he had regretted it but Dan kept their lips still touching slightly and Phil felt how Dan’s lips tilted upwards into a smile and soon after followed the presence of Dan’s hands on Phil’s cheeks again.

Phil blinked his eyes open and found himself staring into Dan’s beautiful brown eyes and there was no fear there at all. Only trust and perhaps even love.

And then they were kissing again and Phil’s heart sang anew.

He pushed away all of the worries and just let himself be in the moment. Dan had initiated it and Phil was going to take and hold onto this moment with all that he had.

~*~

Dan couldn’t believe he had actually done that but Phil’s words had just done something to his heart and he felt a new level of kinship and understanding that he never been extended to him before.

Sometimes, he had found himself worried whether Phil saw him as a project to fix but to hear that Phil didn’t expect to fix Dan’s brokenness and that the prince indeed had his own brokenness to deal with was oddly reassuring.

Dan wished that nothing had ever broken Phil but he could understand why growing up like he had would leave scars that weren’t visible.

But in Dan’s eyes, Phil wasn’t broken. He was perfectly imperfect and Dan was kissing him. And Phil was kissing him back.

Dan had never thought that he would kiss anyone he cared about ever again. The things he had said earlier still rung out inside of his skull. He felt like he was unworthy of love but with every emotion that Phil poured into him, those insecurities went away.

The first kiss started out soft and Dan had to take a moment to pull back and just smile to himself because he finally actually did it. Something in the back of his mind warned him that this would be a goodbye kiss.

He wasn’t sure if he would survive down here in the dungeons or what came after but he would never let Phil know his fears. Dan wasn’t even sure why or how Phil had even managed to orchestrate this whole rescue on so short notice.

To shut up the insecurities, Dan leaned in again and deepened the kiss. Something was burning in Dan’s chest, as the kiss grew more feverish. Dan couldn’t get enough of the taste of Phil and he wanted to commit everything to memory.

Phil still seemed worried that he might spook Dan. However, Dan pushed back, refusing to be fragile, even after they had both established that they were broken people. Dan had felt himself break apart so many times but he always managed to pull himself together. The scar tissue left in the wake of his traumas made his skin feel stronger. All the love Phil had poured into him for months made him feel sturdy.

It felt like a dream to be kissing Phil in the dark dungeon but even if it was, Dan was willing to indulge the fantasy.

They only broke apart when someone cleared their throat behind them. Dan’s ears felt red and he leaned forward to hide in the crook of Phil’s neck and cling to his body. Their moment was over and Dan wasn’t sure he was ever going to get one like it again.

“Prince Philip, we need to move now,” Florian said.

“Dan’s staying here,” Phil said and he sounded so heartbroken that Dan felt his own heart break in return.

“Oh… okay… but then you need to get out of here. Apparently, Prince Ty is looking for you and if he finds you here…”

“Got it,” Phil said and reluctantly pulled back from Dan. “I’ll be right there.”

~*~

It felt horribly wrong to click the shackles back in place around Dan’s wrists. Phil didn’t know what to say. He just wanted to try and convince Dan to follow along with the plan despite its flaws but he knew that would be useless.

“I hate this,” Phil muttered.

“I know,” Dan agreed. “But it’s for the best. I’ll make it, Phil. You reignited my spark of defiance and I won’t let anyone put it out again.”

Phil had ambivalent feelings about that statement. He was happy Dan was feeling himself again but fighting back against this system would only cause more hurt than if Dan went along with it.

“Dan, I l…”

“I know,” Dan interrupted and bit into his lower lip.

Phil wasn’t sure how Dan knew but there was so much certainty in his voice.

“Just… we can’t say it, okay. It would make things worse.”

_We_.

Not just Phil. Dan felt it too. Phil’s heart did a somersault and he even more desperately wanted to get Dan out of here.

“You need to go,” Dan said and reached out to give Dan’s hand a squeeze.

Phil’s breath caught in his throat for what felt like the hundredth time since he walked into the dungeons. It wasn’t fair.

Dan had had his free will taken away.

Phil had to play his uncle’s game.

They would never be allowed to be together.

“I won’t say empty promises. I know you hate that,” Phil said in a quiet voice. “But I’ll do everything I can to help you, Dan. I’ll give it all I’ve got.”

“I know,” Dan said and there was a sad smile on his face. “I never doubted that for a second, Phil. Now, get out of here before you get found out.”

Phil nodded and squeezed back Dan’s hand. He almost dropped the keys as he locked the door to Dan’s cell.

It was a horrible sight to leave Dan shackled and tied to the wall in the dungeons. Phil feared that the image would forever be burned into his brain. He felt so powerless and it was breaking his heart.

“We’re going,” Phil said to Florian and he moved past without another word to Sean. Phil knew he should be thanking him or maybe even explaining the change of plans but Phil knew he would burst into tears if anyone said anything to him at the moment.

He needed to get to the comforts of his chambers and cry in private. But Phil knew that would sting too because it wasn’t just his chambers anymore. It had become his and Dan’s chambers.

Phil struggled to choke down a sob as he moved as fast as he could without calling attention to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much to talk about in these notes, so excuse me while I ramble! Firstly, they finally freaking kissed! Only over 100k words into the story but you were warned that it was a slow burn. Secondly, the title was finally spoken! Phil said that! Had any of you guessed it would be something coming from Phil? Thirdly, I'm sorry for all the heartbreak and honestly I teared up when I wrote Phil leaving the dungeon. My poor freaking boys... and things are still getting worse. But the kiss is a little piece of fluff in all of this bloody angst. 
> 
> Speaking of angst, the results of the Phanfic Awards finally came in! I'm beyond honoured that this story managed to land three Top 3 spaces next to some really wonderful fics. It got Best Fantasy, which is just wow... like! (though this story doesn't really have a lot of the elements of traditional fantasy). Also, it got 3rd Best Angst! And I can tell from the comments that you're all suffering through all this angst that just keeps happening and it's more than I originally intended when I made the outline but the story decides where it goes but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so just hold on. And lastly but most importantly, it got 2nd place in Storyline!! I can't even express how proud I am of that particular win! This story turned into a beast and the world building and plot has been so much fun to write and a lot of hard work. So thank you endlessly to all you readers who nominated this story and voted for it in the awards. *virtual hugs to everyone!*
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 3rd of February 2018 (and by then my new semester starts two days later, so I'm hoping to really get some chapters written in this coming week. Also, I'm moving out of my family home! I officially have my new flat in Copenhagen from the 1st of February! I'm so freaking excited and a little scared. See I told you I'd ramble, but thanks for reading all of this if you did).


	27. So Much Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan was still suck in the dungeons and Phil was crying in their chambers. It didn't seem fair that they had finally reach the ultimate level of trust, only for them to be kept apart and more bad things were about to happen (trigger warnings in top notes are also spoilers!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: derogatory LGBTQ+ slang, descriptions of violence and blood, minor character death (murder)

Dan lifted his hands to his lips and ignored the way his shackles clinked together. He didn’t even pay attention to them.

He had kissed Phil. It still didn’t feel real but Dan knew it must have happened because his lips still tingled and his heart was beating rapidly.

This was going to break his heart so much but he had done it anyway. He couldn’t really make himself to regret it. Life was too damn short, especially for someone like him. One day something would throw a punch that he wouldn’t be able to get up from and he would stop breathing.

He had to make every single moment count.

And if he was being perfectly honest? He wanted Phil to be in all his future moments. He wanted to share a bed with Phil and be able to roll over and plant a chaste kiss on his lips. He wanted to let go of his fear of being intimate with someone because of the people who had forced him to do things he didn’t want. He wanted to be able to take Phil’s hand in crowds so they didn’t get separated and they could use each other as an anchor to stay calm. He wanted to talk to Phil about anything from the infinity of the universe and different types of flowers. He wanted to have the privilege of having Phil in his corner – no matter what.

He wanted to be loved by Phil and love him in return.

“What happened?”

Dan’s head snapped up to see Sean standing outside of his cell. His presence brought Dan’s world into focus again. He would rather that it hadn’t, to be honest. It was much nicer thinking about the fantasy life he would never have with Phil than the fact he was still locked up in the dungeons.

“I…” Dan hesitated, he wasn’t sure how much Sean actually knew and he didn’t want to speak out of term and reveal something.

“All prisoners but you are sleeping like they drunk themselves silly and then the crown prince comes by and asks nicely – not demands – to see you and take you from here and yet there you stand. What is going on?”

Dan clenched his jaw. “Phil isn’t thinking clearly. He was upset and made a rash plan.”

“But why not just go with it? It sounded like it could have been your ticket out of here.”

“No,” Dan said definitively. “I don’t care about me. I care about Phil and this would have been a bad move. The King…”

Dan bit his lip before he uttered what he truly thought about the King. Phil might have revealed the escape plan to Sean but frankly that wasn’t enough for Dan to trust him. Speaking ill of the King didn’t just get you locked up. It got you beheaded.

“What are you guys involved in?” Sean asked and he sounded genuinely worried. He likely knew it wasn’t smart to mess with the monarch.

“Nothing,” Dan said with a shrug and leaned back against his wall. “Just regular life. We’re just trying to survive despite living in a world that has broken us. We’re just trying to keep going.”

Suddenly, the man in the next cell groaned and sounded like he was waking up. It seemed that Sean took that as his cue to leave as he turned on his heel. However, he turned back again.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Dan.”

Dan just nodded because he had never known what to say to that. Mostly, people didn’t say it and Dan preferred it that way. He didn’t want their pity. It didn’t help him one bit. Yeah, his life sucked but he didn’t need reminding of it constantly.

And in fact, it hadn’t sucked that much lately. Phil had brought light into his life in ways Dan couldn’t even have imagined. He closed his eyes and let his mind get swept back up in what-ifs. He might regret it but right now he needed the escape.

~*~

“Daisy,” Phil said as she opened the door to his and Dan’s chambers. Phil had been lying on his bed, face in his pillow and silently weeping. He sprang to his feet and crumbled in front of his best friend.

“Phil,” she said and sounded so sad. It just made Phil’s throat hurt and close up more.

He hugged her close and wondered if he could just stay in her embrace until it stopped hurting. He wasn’t sure it ever would. She was small but so warm and Phil remembered all the times he had sought her comfort when his family and his responsibilities became a little too much.

He would never allow himself to break down in front of them but it was different with Daisy, and with Dan for that matter. He didn’t mind being vulnerable in front of them in the same way.

“Why?” Phil forced out. “He wouldn’t… Daisy, I just left him there! I have to go back… I have to…”

Phil started to move away from Daisy’s arms but the little kitchen maid clung to him fiercely.

“That is not a option, Lester,” she said and Phil knew she meant business when she brought out the last name. “Florian said that Dan didn’t want to go. You can’t move him if he isn’t in on the idea.”

“But… I… Daisy,” Phil said and let himself be guided back into Daisy’s arms. “I… We kissed.”

“Yeah, Florian told me,” Daisy said and stroked Phil’s hair. She could barely reach but Phil felt comforted by the gesture nonetheless. “About time, if you asked me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re both idiots. You’ve wanted to snog each other for months and don’t you try and deny it.”

Phil wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He hadn’t known that he had wanted to kiss Dan for that long, had he? Sure, he had been mesmerised by Dan’s beauty before but he had always been scared of trying anything. Dan had flinched away from just a friendly pat on the back in the beginning and Phil feared what an attempt at kissing him would have done. He had also wanted to respect Dan’s boundaries and even thinking about kissing him had always made Phil feel like he was overstepping.

But Dan had kissed him. It had been so soft and gentle at first but then the desperation had set in. They both known they had little time and yet Dan had made the move. Phil had been surprised but pleasantly so.

“But it’s wrong…” Phil said in the tiniest voice. He still felt like he had taken advantage of Dan. As long as that law was between them, Phil legitimately had all of the power over Dan.

“Bullshit,” Daisy said with such intensity that Phil flinched. “I know that boy and he isn’t doing anything with you that he doesn’t want. I catch the subtle heart eyes he makes sure _you_ don’t see. He cares a lot for you, Phil. Don’t you doubt that for even one moment. The horrendous law has nothing to do with how he feels about you.”

Phil gulped and it was as if something inside of him snapped back in place. Daisy was right. Deep down, Phil knew that Dan had stopped being afraid of Phil exerting power over him. Heck, Dan had even forgiven Phil for condemning him to the dungeons without Phil explaining a thing.

Dan understood their situation perfectly and he had still kissed Phil.

“We can’t let him stay here, Daisy. He might make it through the week in the dungeons but I will not allow him to get grouped together with the castle’s common personal servants afterwards. Anyone could request him. When we get him back, we have to get him out in a way that doesn’t incriminate so many of you.”

“Or give your uncle a reason to remove you from the succession to the throne,” Daisy added.

Phil nodded. It was important but for the first time in his life Phil didn’t feel like that was his top priority. It mattered a lot but he meant what he had said to Dan in the dungeon. He felt broken some days because of how he had grown up with always having to be on perfect behaviour. It wasn’t healthy and it had shattered some of his innocence.

“We’ll figure something out,” Daisy said and gave Phil a final squeeze before letting go.

~*~

Dan was tired and he just wanted to fucking sleep. It wasn’t easy when his cellmate was chatting away, screaming and demanding to know what had been in that porridge. A few of the other prisoners joined in and Dan felt pity for Sean, who would have to ignore their shouts.

He attempted to lie down but his shackles were too short, so instead he had to sit against the wall and try to get some rest that way. This day had been too bloody long.

So much had happened.

He had woken up with Phil in bed this morning. Shit, it felt like weeks ago by now. A private audience with Elena, Phil and the princess apparently breaking off the engagement, Dan coming before the King briefly before being condemned to the dungeons and then Phil’s rushed rescue attempt.

Oh and the kiss, of course.

It was too much for Dan’s brain to process and he very much wanted to get some rest, even in this damp, cold dungeon with angry shouting prisoners. It surely was a world of different to going to sleep in Phil’s bed with a warm body next to him and soft sheets beneath his body.

But Dan had gotten used to worse situations. He remembered how number seven had used to tie him up much like he was now. A shudder went through Dan, as he tried to push the images away. Despite the similarities, he wasn’t back in the godforsaken shed that he had been confined to for months. This was the castle’s dungeon and he had felt Phil’s lips on his less than an hour ago.

Suddenly, Dan heard shouting from out front telling the prisoners to shut the hell up. For a beat, Dan wondered if Sean had snapped but he has a very distinct highlander accent that the person yelling certainly didn’t have.

One of the guards that had lead Dan in here, the one he hadn’t punched, suddenly appeared in front of the cells. Dan got on his feet as a reflex. There was an enemy here and he wasn’t going to be sitting prey.

The guard grinned menacingly at Dan before shouting for quiet to the prisoners who started making noise again. Dan could suddenly see why Phil and his friends had made sure everyone had been dosed with sleeping powder or something as the attempted rescue had taken place. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem very long lasting.

“Anyone who speaks gets no food for three days!” the guard shouted.

That quieted them down noticeably. Three days was a long time to go without food and Dan could understand why the defiance died down at such a threat. However, Dan had survived a whole week without food before, so he wasn’t very scared to open his mouth.

He had meant what he had told Phil about his spark of defiance. It had burned bright in him for a very long time and it had taken almost a year to beat out of him by number seven. Apparently, Phil had only needed half that time to restore it.

“What is going on?” Dan asked and he felt how every one of the prisoners looked to him in either confusion or awe.

The guard just smirked like he had been expecting it.

“You’re getting a very important visit,” the guard said and stalked up to Dan’s cells and rustled the bars as if that should scare Dan. Dan just squared his shoulders and met the guard’s graze unfazed. He was done flinching away from people. This had to stop. He would be tough again. He would take the beatings again if he had to. He would fight against every moment of the abuse anew.

The only reason he had cracked before was because he had let someone convince him that no one would care if he lived or died. That had been a lie but shouted into your head every day for over 300 days, it had started to sound true.

But now he had a sense that no one could ever get him to believe that lie again. Not when he knew that someone like Phil existed. He would never let his faith in Phil waver.

“You think you’re something special, don’t you?” the guard said and spat straight in Dan’s face. Dan didn’t attempt to move, he just closed his eyes and then wiped the saliva away. The old alarm bells were ringing again and he knew being submissive and apologetic was safer but he didn’t care.

He knew this might get him killed but he was so fucking done with cowering. He would rather go out like himself than some shell of a human.

“I hope the King twist that chain around your neck… or better yet, let that one lord have you. Make your last moments as painful as pos…”

Dan felt a little more unsettled now and the guard promptly stopped speaking as new footfalls could be heard approaching.

Dan took a settling breath and clenched his jaws. Hoping to survive in the dungeons for a week might have been very optimistic.

~*~

Phil had wanted to stay in Daisy’s embrace for the rest of the night but he knew she had duties to attend to and he had to go inform Willard that their plans had failed. It had to be done otherwise the black smith would be waiting with the delivery that had to be made at latest tonight.

As Phil moved through the halls of the castle, he felt more broken than usual. It had been odd to confess to Dan that he felt like that sometimes. He had never said that out loud before. He hadn’t let himself even think like that.

But it had been true. He wanted to pretend like he didn’t feel broken ever but he definitely did. And as Martyn had been removed from the succession to the throne and their father had died, Phil felt more broken than usual.

Willard looked very confused to find just Phil coming into the smith from the front entrance, instead of the hidden back one they had agreed on. Phil was just about to open his mouth and say something to explain but the words died on his tongue.

He must have looked desperate because a moment later, he was being pulled into a giant bear hug and Phil let himself fall against Willard’s burly chest.

“Couldn’t you get to him?” the black smith asked.

“No, we could but… he didn’t want to come,” Phil forced out.

“What? Why the hell would he refuse an offer like that?”

“To protect me and the other people I involved in this rushed rescue mission. He said that this would give the King a reason to take my claim to the throne. He didn’t want that,” Phil sniffled out.

Willard finally broke the hug and then begun to stroke his bread thoughtfully.

“I said he was troubled and a mess before and I see that still holds true… but perhaps, I didn’t gave the kid enough credit. He’s got spirit and a good moral compass.”

Phil didn’t want Dan to have any of that at the moment. He just wanted Dan to be on Willard’s carriage, safely getting away from all the people that could and would hurt him.

“I almost wish he hadn’t,” Phil muttered.

“No, you don’t,” Willard said and Phil looked up to meet the black smith’s eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“You liked his character right off the bat. I thought he might snap and hurt you but you said he wouldn’t do something like that. You’d known him for less than a day and yet you sounded absolutely sure. You saw something in his eyes that no one else could. His spirit is what made you fall in love with him, isn’t it?”

Phil suddenly remembered the “fool in love” comment that Willard had said when Phil had approached him with the escape plan earlier. He hadn’t wanted to comment on it then but it was difficult to dodge this one.

“I just want him to be safe. Breaking him out of the dungeon was too risky, I know that objectively. But I would ask that you still keep contact to your daughter. I intend to get Dan out of here as soon as I can without causing too much trouble.”

“Will he leave you?” Willard asked.

Phil wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just frowned.

“On that first day, you let him sit unshackled outside of this place while you went all the way back to your chambers. Most personal servants would have run at such an opportunity, especially someone like him. Yet he stayed put.”

Phil knew there was a logical explanation for that. There was the GPS chip to worry about but perhaps Willard was right that most would have attempted to flee anyway.

“Your point?”

“Seeing as he didn’t leave you on the first day, I very much doubt he will leave you six months in.”

Phil didn’t know how to respond to that either.

“I need to get this delivery done, Prince Philip. But I think it would do you good to take a wander to the stables. Horses have a calming effect. Stop by ol’ Jimmy in the back. He’ll help calm the fidgeting.”

Phil hadn’t even realised that he had been fidgeting before Willard pointed it out but then he became all too aware of his hands and resulted to pushing them into his pockets.

Willard bowed as he left Phil, and Phil returned the gesture. He had always been scared of horses, which was another reason he was a terrible prince. But he couldn’t justify how getting on the back of a beast like that and just expect it to obey you because you clicked your hells against its flanks. It seemed unnatural that something so powerful would listen to someone like Phil.

But he was feeling rather distracted, so he followed the black smith’s advice. He passed the King’s white carriage horses, Martyn’s red stallion and then he found his way to the back where the oldest horse resided. Jimmy had been Willard’s horse originally and despite being unable to do much work anymore, no one had questioned the black smith when he had kept the horse around.

The gelding lifted his head and greeted Phil with warm brown eyes. His coat was brown too and Phil suddenly wondered why so many brown-eyed and brown-haired beings were coming into his life lately.

“Hey, old boy,” Phil said and held out his hand, flat with his palm turned upwards.

Jimmy swiped his velvet muzzle over Phil’s palm undoubtedly looking for treats. However, even as he found none, Jimmy let the touch linger and Phil wondered how the animal seemed to know.

Phil moved his other hand to stoke Jimmy’s neck and he let himself get lost in petting the horse for a little while. He would much rather be doing something to help Dan but he wasn’t sure how he was going to do that without incriminating all of his friends and allies.

~*~

Dan hadn’t actually expected the King to appear himself. He had another guard with him, the one Dan had punched in the face, and Sean lingered oddly behind them. Dan knew instantly after one look at Sean that he needed to be worried.

He might not trust the man entirely but he knew Phil had trusted him and that had to mean that Sean was on their side. And right now he was looking terrified and as if he tried to warn Dan without speaking a word out loud.

The other guard could have saved his breath about the threat of removing food to get the other prisoners to become silent. They were all watching mesmerised as the King, cape and all, walked down the row of cells before coming to a stop in front of Dan’s cell.

Dan had always seen the King at a distance, sat on his high throne and seeming very powerful. Down here in the dungeons, he looked different, even if he still wore his fancy clothes. He was nearly Dan’s height but at least twice as wide and his belly stretched out the quality linen that covered it. The King had a beard too because it seemed only fitting that evil men who wanted to hurt Dan had to have beards.

Something in Dan’s head was shouting at him to step back from where he had moved forward to glare at the guard but he didn’t want to bow. The King could have him killed in an instance and it would probably happen no matter how he behaved.

The man had murder in his eyes. Dan thought of Phil’s bright eyes and yet again wondered how these two individuals would be related at all. It seemed impossible.

Thinking of Phil brought heaviness to his heart. Phil was going to be devastated when Dan stopped breathing. But there was nothing he could do now, even if a small part of him wished that he could go back in time to accept Phil’s offer and thereby save his own life.

But things didn’t work like that and you had to face the consequences of your actions.

Dan had decided to hold onto his principles and he was keeping it that way. He had wanted to rage at the King so many times. He might as well try, if he was going to die either way.

He was suddenly very glad that he had gotten to kiss Phil before he died.

“Well. Well. Well. If it isn’t Philly’s little toy all nicely tied up,” the King said and his voice sent a shiver down Dan’s spine.

Oh, he was definitely going to try and punch this bastard and preferable knock out a couple of teeth.

Like with the guard, Dan met the King’s graze unflinching and he got to see how the eyes filled with more rage at Dan’s show of defiance.

“Guard, unlock the door,” the King commanded.

Sean moved forward, keys in hand, and he opened the door swiftly unlike Phil who had fumbled with the keys just an hour before. Sean caught Dan’s eyes for the briefest moment and the silent advice was unmistakable: Don’t do something dumb.

Dan wasn’t going to listen. He was done playing by this fucker’s rules. He had wished for this long day to end and if this was the way, then so be it.

Sean moved out of the way.

“Leave us. All three of you,” the King commanded. The three guards straightened and made their way out with rapid steps.

Dan felt a little less sure of his decision as the King stalked through the narrow door and there no longer were the bars between them.

“I don’t know what my nephew sees in you,” the King said and walked back and forth in the front of the cell, resembling a predator circling its cornered prey.

“You made him pick,” Dan said, his voice heavy with rage and again he saw how surprise crossed the King’s features. It spurred Dan on. “And it’s none of your business anyway.”

The strike came so quickly that Dan didn’t even have time to move back. His lip busted on impact and he stumbled back a few steps. For such a heavy man, the King had quick reflexes.

“You are not even allowed to talk to someone like me, little personal servant,” the King sneered.

“Then get out of my bloody cell and go to your highbrow dinners where all the lords kiss your _arse_ ,” Dan said and spat out the blood that had gathered in his mouth.

He hadn’t felt pain in months but pain had been part of his everyday for a while. He would take this and he was getting too much satisfaction in knowing he was pissing off the man who had single-handedly ruined his life.

The King went for another punch but this time Dan ducked out of the way and smirked at the King. It was a dangerous game but Dan had years of frustrations to get out and he was doing this for more than himself. He was doing this for every person this man had turned into slaves with his law.

It must hurt the monarch so much to have a personal servant taunting him.

“You are the scum of the earth,” the King hissed as he collected himself and corrected his cape. “You’re just another piece in my puzzle. Granted, I didn’t think the game would turn into what it has.”

The King moved again and this time Dan couldn’t move away. A big hand clasped around Dan’s neck and he found himself shoved into the wall he was chained to. Black spots started dancing in his vision and he thrashed with all he had but the King was much stronger than he looked.

“You were supposed to show little prince goodie-two-shoes the benefits of the law. It granted him permission to behave like the little fag that he is. He got to have a taste of what it’s like to have real power. But of course the little idiot had to go and fall in love with his personal servant, didn’t he?”

Dan tried to kick the King but he couldn’t get his leg back far enough to do any damage. He was crawling at the hand around his neck too but it didn’t seem like it did anything to loosen the King’s iron grip.

“And what’s worse, look how you behaved. Moving around without shackles, speaking back to your superiors, refusing to treat your King with respect… perhaps, that boy is a bigger threat than I originally thought.”

Dan’s struggles were becoming more sluggish as his brain had gone without proper oxygen for too long.

“Hey!” someone shouted. “Stop that! You’re killing him.”

Dan knew it was the man in the cell next to his and if he could, he would have opened his mouth and warned the man. You didn’t speak like that to the King unless you had a death wish or knew you were dead either way. But Dan didn’t have the air to breathe, let alone speak.

“What did you say?” the King asked and turned his attention away from Dan.

His grip seemed to loosen a little, even just marginally and Dan jumped at the chance. With his free arm, he went for the King’s eyes, trying to scoop out the eye with his thumb.

The King howled in pain and sprang back from Dan, which resulted in Dan falling hard on his knees and gasping for air on the dungeon floor.

“Guards!” the King yelled furiously.

Dan wanted to look up but he could barely hang onto his consciousness.

“Execute that prisoner.”

The order feel flatly and Dan heard the jingle of keys and the sound of a cell door opening.

“Please,” Dan heard the man beg before there were only gurgling sounds. Dan didn’t need to look up to know that the man’s throat had been cut. The King had just ordered a murder in cold blood.

The only reason that man was down here in the first place was because he had protected his daughter.

“Leave us,” the King barked.

Suddenly, Dan felt the hard kick of a silver-toed boot to his ribs and he sprawled back against the wall again. The pain shot through his body and he knew some of his ribs had definitely broken on impact. He would only hope they didn’t punctuate his lungs or he would be in for a horribly painful death.

But if Dan was going down, then he was going down fighting.

“You’re all so naïve and stupid!” the King screamed in Dan’s face as he started to get up.

The world felt blurry around the edges and his body screamed in pain as he moved.

“You’re nothing but dirt under my shoe. Nothing at all. Your life doesn’t mean a thing. Only royal blood matters. And even those can be killed when they need it.”

Another kick came flying Dan’s way and knocked him back down. There was so much blood in his mouth now and his head had painfully collided with the ground. Yet he moved to get up again.

“My own brother, for instance,” the King said and Dan felt like his heart stopped beating and wondered if the blood rushing through his ears might have him made him mishear.

“Your…” Dan said and barely managed to force his legs to stand. “How could…”

“My brother was born weak,” the King said. “Diseased from the moment he was born. Always the baby. Always so compassionate. Always so damn _weak_. He didn’t even want the throne or the power. But his illness wasn’t killing him fast enough, so I had him poisoned to speed up the process.”

“You bastard!” Dan screamed and launched for him but the shackles caught Dan’s hands just before they could make contact with the smug grin on the King’s face.

He had just confessed to murdering Phil’s father. The old crown prince hadn’t died from his chronic illness like everyone thought. It suddenly made perfect sense why his life expectancy had suddenly been cut so short. Phil and Martyn had lost their father, their mother had lost her spouse and it had all been because of the King.

“How can someone murder their own _brother_?” Dan screamed and hoped his voice would somehow carry to the guards. The two idiots probably wouldn’t care but he hoped maybe Sean would hear but Dan had a feeling the nice guard had been sent away long ago.

“Because he was unworthy and yet he still managed to charm someone like Catherine,” the King said and Dan was so busy being furious and in pain that he didn’t manage to evade as a punch caught him right in the eye.

It threatened to topple him over but he straightens his legs and forced them to stand even though he wanted to crawl up into a ball and just cry in a mixture of pain and despair.

“And his little bastards are worth no more and they make it so easy. Martyn chooses a princess that can disqualify him and your Philip will slip up too. I don’t even have to murder those idiots. They can sabotage themselves. That’s why they were never monarch material.”

“If you hurt Phil,” Dan said through gridded teeth and felt how blood ran down his face.

“Aww, it’s almost adorable. One thing is for someone like Philip to care for the broken little project I settled him with but it’s another one for someone like you to fall for it. But again, I must admire the sense of loyalty that Philip has instilled in you. Perhaps, I better murder him just to be sure he doesn’t inspire that kind of rebellion in others.”

Dan moved forward again, and again the shackles caught him and the King was staying wisely out of reach.

“But it’s so much more fun to play with him, especially now that I have you as leverage.”

The King moved to sweep the legs from under Dan but Dan managed to stumble back and stay standing. The King made the mistake of following Dan’s movement, finally coming into a space where Dan could reach him.

The elbow is one of the strongest points on your body and Dan jammed it right into the King’s face and caught his nose and teeth. It hurt like hell but what didn’t at the moment?

The King looked flushed with rage and his nose looked broken. He managed to kick Dan to the ground this time and Dan felt repeated kicks to his body as he tried to crawl together to protect his internal organs.

He was sure this was going to be it. He just wished he had been able to stay alive to tell Phil that the King had confessed to murdering his own brother. The pain became unbearable and yet Dan continued to bear it.

His mind went back to that dreaded shed and how that bearded man had beat the shit out of him too but Dan knew that man would never finish it. Number seven had liked the control too much. He had wanted Dan to break but not die. A dead plaything wasn’t a fun plaything, the bearded man that haunted his nightmares used to say.

The King, however, was very capable of murder and Dan thought that a knife would be pulled out to finish the job or perhaps he would just be left to succumb to his injuries. But surprisingly the kicks stopped.

“You’re not getting off that easy, boy,” the King shouted loud enough that Dan could hear it through the rushing of blood in his ears and the way his whole body pulsed with pain. “Little Philly will be much more fun to control when he knows I have you. Guards, pick him up.”

Dan wanted to get up and struggle. It would be better if he died because then the King would lose the leverage he clearly knew he had over Phil if he kept Dan alive. Dan didn’t want to be the reason Phil had to adhere to his uncle’s wishes.

But his body defused to listen to him and the blackness was consuming him. Everything hurt and he couldn’t move anymore.

He spent his last moment of consciousness to sending a mental apology to Phil for failing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I know a lot of you like the angst but it's also a bit much and Dan taking this beating had been planned for a very long time but I'm so sorry that it had to happen. But it also meant that he got to hear that the King had Martyn and Phil's father murdered! And the poor man in the cell next to Dan's tried to help but paid with his life. Phil is oblivious of all this and it'll hurt so much when he finds out. However, I do hope that you liked this chapter and feel free to scream at me in the comments. I'll repeat that things will get better eventually! 
> 
> Also, thank you so much for over 9,000 reads, over 700 kudos and over 250 comments! I'm so happy with the response and a huge and special thank you to the repeat commenters - I love you guys so much. 
> 
> Next update is in a week, on Saturday the 10th of February.


	28. Waking Up Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil freaked out when he found out what his uncle had done to Dan and he instantly knew that he needed to seek out help from someone who should feel no obligation to help him but he had to try. Meanwhile, Dan was in pain and fighting to stay conscious, even as his body protested heavily.

Something felt wrong. Phil felt in his chest as he woke in the night. He felt bathed in cold sweat and hardly realised how his hand moved to the opposite site of the bed almost as if searching for something.

Or someone.

Dan had only spent one night next to him and yet Phil was already reaching out for him in his sleep. Phil groaned and buried his face in the mattress. He didn’t want to look around at the darkness of his chambers and see the sofa where Dan’s blanket was still hazardously tossed across. The maids would usually have folded it and put it away but not today.

Phil wasn’t sure why but he didn’t need to see the remnants of the place that Dan had been sleeping for months. Phil thought he would hate to have someone all up in his personal space all the time.

He was such a private person and he had dreaded what it would be like to have a stranger in his space.

Turns out, he liked it a whole lot. But Phil had a feeling that it might be more of a Dan thing than a general thing.

Dan with the hard eyes, which turned soft when looking at Phil. Dan with tense muscles, which relaxed and made room for soft touches when they were alone. Dan with so much hostility and anger, who despite it managed to be so kind and loving.

But it felt wrong to know that he was chained and shackled in the dungeon and Phil could do nothing about it. He wanted to go for a walk to calm down but that had become something he always did with Dan as well. He knew without looking that their coats shared a hanger by the door.

They would talk and walk and fall into sync and Phil’s heart ached as he thought about it.

He couldn’t even go to the library and pick up a book and get lost in a fictional world. He knew his eyes would drift to the piano and he would feel like the silence was too much without the background of music he had become accustomed to reading to.

Dan had invaded every single aspect of Phil’s life and Phil hadn’t realised just how much until the brunet wasn’t here anymore. It was terrifying and Phil didn’t know what to do about it.

He tossed and turned in his bed and cursed himself for all the times he found his mind drifting back to how nicely it had felt to have Dan share this space with him. How much he wanted to make sure that Dan could always be here, next to him in his life.

It was a fantasy and the King would never allow it.

He had probably been planning this the whole time. He had gotten Phil attached to Dan and now he intended to keep them apart to torture Phil. Phil wouldn’t put it past his uncle. He sighed and tried desperately to get some more sleep.

But there was unrest inside of him and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. It felt horrible to have Dan out of sight and Phil wanted nothing more than to do and check on him. However, Phil knew he was never prying himself away from Dan again, if he went down there.

It had been a miracle that it had worked the first time because everything in Phil’s body had screamed for him to stay put. Phil decided to go to his uncle first thing in the morning and beg for him to allow the release of Dan. Phil was willing to do just about anything.

It wouldn’t be pretty but Phil was ready to try anything.

~*~

Everything hurt. He was in so much pain. Pain was everywhere and he felt trapped.

It was almost impossible to gain consciousness and the world seemed blurred and nonsensical.

Dan could hardly recall what had put him in this world of hurt and blurry edges but he knew one thing.

He had to find Phil.

Phil had become his anchor when the world didn’t make much sense and right now Dan couldn’t figure out what was up or down. He could barely hold onto his thoughts and it seemed like things were slipping away from him again.

He tried to moved but either his body wouldn’t listen or something was holding him in place.

He wanted to scream or struggle but he didn’t have the energy for any of that.

He thought he heard a muffled voice and it sounded vaguely familiar. But it wasn’t Phil’s voice, so Dan didn’t care.

He wanted to find his prince. Phil would be worried.

Suddenly, the pain seemed to ease but instead of that making things clearer, his thoughts went fussier and the dark edges came in to claim more of his vision. He tried to shout for Phil but he wasn’t sure if any sound came out.

And then he lost his precious consciousness again.

~*~

Phil was already awake when someone burst through his door but he still squealed and flailed around. If it had been someone charging in with the intent to murder him, he made it all too easy by being a mess tangled in sheets and sleep heavy eyes.

Thankfully, it was just Florian.

But that actually did little to reassure Phil, especially since the tall guard looked concerned but trying to mask it.

“What happened?” Phil asked, his heart already in his throat.

His mind immediately went to a very dark place as Florian just gaped and looked unable to find the right words. But Phil knew there was only one topic that the guard would look so apprehensive about bringing up to his crown prince.

“What happened to him?” Phil demanded, untangling himself from his sheets in a panic and almost falling out of his bed face first. Florian reached out and caught him.

“We’re not sure,” the guard finally said.

Phil felt like the world tilted. This couldn’t be happening. He had to be dreaming.

He pinched the freckled pale skin on his arm so hard that it instantly went red and the pain felt real, even as Phil started to feel numb all over. He checked his hands and saw all ten fingers. He wasn’t dreaming.

“What?!” Phil shouted and it wasn’t like him to raise his voice, least of all to a friend of sorts.

“Please, Prince Philip, you must remain calm. Come with me to the kitchen. Sean is there with Daisy. I don’t know how to tell you.”

“Is he dead?” Phil said and the words sounded so cynical but his mind was flooded with images of Dan lying lifeless still chained to the walls of the dungeon. It made Phil’s stomach lunge and if he had eaten anything at dinner, it would probably have come back up.

“No… we don’t think so.”

That didn’t sound positive but at least it meant that Sean hadn’t found Dan’s body. Phil was still in his pyjamas and his parents would have frowned if they saw him walking around in that in the castle’s common areas but desperate times called for desperate measures and Phil didn’t freaking care about etiquette.

He was storming out the door and running to the kitchen as fast as his legs could carry him. It was another thing that would have been frowned upon. But Phil needed answers and he needed them fast.

Florian wasn’t giving him anything useful and it was the early hours of the morning and Dan might be hurt or missing and Phil just…

He felt like he might have a heart attack but he slowed his running and forced his breathing to even out just a little. He wasn’t giving the King the satisfaction of dropping dead from a stroke. And he wouldn’t be able to help Dan like that.

Daisy was sitting with Sean and the kitchen staff’s dining table. She was dapping his face with a cloth and Phil saw how bruised and swollen the guard’s face looked.

Daisy took one look at her best friend and then frowned at her boyfriend.

“Is that bringing him here _calmly_?” she said, her voice sharp and snappy.

“Daisy,” Phil huffed out a breath, still a little winded by his sprinting, “what… h-happened to Dan?”

Daisy looked so sad but instead of answering she looked to Sean. Phil had seen too much violence growing up when it had been mandatory for him to take fencing lessons. It could get rough if the parties involved were temperamental. Sean looked like someone had tossed aside the sword and decided to attack their opponent with their fists instead.

“The King,” Sean replied and his words sounded slurred but it was probably thanks to his split and swollen lip.

Phil felt like the world started spinning around him again. The King wouldn’t… No, please. Phil reached out for a chair, nearly missing it as he tried to sit down but his legs wouldn’t work properly.

“He came into the dungeon with those two of his loyal guards. Demanded that I unlocked Dan’s cell and then he sent us away. He… It sounded like he beat Dan. I tried to go back in there…”

Phil couldn’t believe it. The King had personally gone drown into the dungeons? Since when did he care so much about Phil? He had spent most of his life just ignoring his “soft-minded nephews” but now he was bothered to seek out Phil’s personal servant?

“Tweedledee and Tweedledum warned me off it. I realised how stupid I was trying to interrupt the King…”

“You would have been beheaded instantly,” Florian agreed and put a protective hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Phil knew what happened to people who stood up against the King and Florian was absolutely right. It was the exact reason Phil had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Sean thought he had heard Dan being punched.

Sweet Dan who was much tougher than he looked but still Phil had never wanted anyone to lay a finger on him ever again. To have that man be his own uncle made Phil’s whole body feel on fire.

“I tried to leave instead. I wanted to come and get you, Prince Philip,” Sean said and the guard looked up and caught Phil’s graze. “I thought it was risky but if anyone could step in then it would be you. But as soon as I turned my back, the two other guards jumped me. The King came by less than an hour after you guys did and I just woke up now.”

Phil had been in the stables then, trying to calm down by petting ol’ Jimmy like Willard had suggested. He had just been standing there feeling sorry for himself while his uncle likely used Dan like a punching bag.

“Do you think he….”

Phil couldn’t even say the words. He had back in his chambers when Florian had sprung the news on him but this felt different. Now he knew it was his own flesh and blood that had tried to hurt a person he cared so deeply for. It felt impossible but Phil wasn’t surprised to learn the lengths his uncle was willing to go to.

“No,” Sean said but he didn’t sound too confident. “There was a dead body in the next cell. And only blood in Dan’s… I think they took him somewhere.”

Of course, the King would do that. Phil wanted to say he was dumb because it seemed like anyone who thought slaves was a good idea had to be stupid but unfortunately the King was great at scheming and one shouldn’t underestimate his smarts. He was just evil and power-hungry in spite of it.

He probably knew it meant that Phil would do absolutely everything he asked, without question or hesitance. Phil had been forced to follow his uncle’s rules his whole life but Phil had always kept onto his quiet rebellion and twisted orders to make them do the least amount of harm.

When the King had demanded Phil take on a personal servant, Phil had done it but he had immediately removed the person’s shackles and never once abused the power the law had granted him.

But if the King had Dan… Phil would truly be his puppet.

Phil wished it wasn’t true but he knew that he would do anything to save Dan. Anything at all, which was undoubtedly the King’s plan.

“I’m so sorry, Phil,” Daisy said and hugged her best friend but for once Phil didn’t feel warm and comforted. He felt more broken than ever before. He felt like a chess piece and he had just been moved into the line of fire and his opponent had announced checkmate.

“Did he hurt him a lot?” Phil found himself asking but his voice sounded off and like it wasn’t coming from him.

“I didn’t hear a lot but… Dan was speaking back and he sounded furious. If he antagonised the King…”

Phil knew that one thing his uncle couldn’t stand was when people stood up to him. He would get furious if someone like Dan refused to bow to him. He was used to a world where people were falling over their feet to kiss his boots and if Dan had spit on them instead, then the brunet would have been in for a world of trouble.

Phil felt sick again but that wouldn’t do. He had things he needed to do and the plan was already formulating in his brain. He would need help and looking at the three people in the dimly lit kitchen Phil knew that he had it. It might also be time to bring his family into what hat been going on. This had gone on for too long.

He would have to find and free Dan while playing the perfect little crown prince. If Dan had been moved, then there would be somewhere to find him. They just had to figure it out and it would have to be outside of the castle because the King knew how much of the staff had questionable loyalties if Catherine, Martyn or Phil asked for their help.

Dan always used to say that he had been through worse. Phil wondered if he would say that after facing off against the King. Phil didn’t want to think about how many bones had been broken or how much blood had been lost.

Dan was a survivor. He was tough as nails. He had chosen to speak against the King.

Phil suddenly felt a fond smile on his lips and it managed to ease the pain Phil felt in his heart, just a little. Dan was so strong and he hadn’t given up his defiance, even when it would have been less painful to do so.

Phil was oddly proud of that, even if he secretly wished Dan had looked out for his own wellbeing as well. But Willard had been right. It was Dan’s spirit that Phil had felt so drawn and attracted to.

Dan didn’t give up. He got up when life beat him down. Phil wasn’t going to give up either. He would find Dan and bring him home.

~*~

Things were still hazy. His body was screaming for rest but he didn’t want to. He needed to move. Now wasn’t a time for sleeping. He didn’t care that every fibre in his body ached or that he could barely think straight. However, he knew one thing for certain.

He had to find Phil.

He felt a cough vibrate through his body and the taste of blood in his mouth. The pain was agonising but he tried to move anyway. But something was still holding him in place. Instead, he tried to focus on his eyes.

The right one opened a little while the left one felt glued together. But his working eye still wouldn’t focus, even as the eyelid had been lifted. The room was white and left Dan with the feeling of being hospitalised but he couldn’t place why.

There was a person coming towards him but Dan didn’t get the sense of calm he always did when Phil came near him, so he tried to shy away but again his body failed to obey. Protesting hurt so much.

The fuzzy-looking figure was talking and it sounded like a female voice and again Dan felt a pang of familiarity.

“You’re giving me no choice, Daniel,” the voice said and Dan was surprised he could pick up on the words now. “Clearly, you need a much stronger sedative. Waking up all the time is unhealthy. You shouldn’t even be able to wake up.”

Dan made noises of protest but he felt the hazy feeling as his pain eased but the dark edges started to take up his vision. It was the same thing that had happened before.

Dan tried to scream. He tried to call for Phil. He thrashed as best he could manage.

None of it mattered. Soon, his vision went dark again and he was plummeted back into unconsciousness.

Phil’s name stayed on his lips until he was unable to move anymore.

~*~

Phil had debated whether he should head to the King right away but he worried what words he might say and getting himself disowned wouldn’t help things one bit. He had to play like his uncle did.

He had to think of this like a game of chess and move his own pieces to counter those of his uncle’s. Phil had never much liked chess. He had always hated how the pieces had to stick to moving in certain patterns and they couldn’t change up tactics when the situation called for it.

But perhaps that would become an advantage since Phil had no idea what rules the King had set when they had started this game, which was long before Phil had even known someone like Dan Howell had existed. Phil would just have to try and play without having a clue what the rules were, which thankfully came natural to him.

The King might have Rex, his lords and his guards but Phil had something better. He had his family and his friends. But right now the piece he needed to call into play wasn’t yet a friend and the request Phil would have to present didn’t sit right with him at all.

But it was his best shot at gaining time to find Dan.

The King was undoubtedly picking out new princesses for Phil to marry already and Phil wouldn’t be surprised if whoever it was agreed to a wedding without preparations. Phil’s throne was attractive and his family’s land wealthy and many other kingdoms would jump at a chance to send their princesses off to become the wife of the crown prince.

Phil didn’t want a princess at all but if he had to be engaged right now, he knew who was the only person who might make it a bearable experience and grant him opportunity to search for Dan.

Showing up at a foreign princess’s door before the sun rose would be considered incredibly rude but Phil had lost more and more respect over etiquettes at the moment, so he didn’t even think as he raised his hand and knocked on Princess Elena’s door.

She was scheduled to leave first thing in the morning to return home since their engagement hadn’t worked out but Phil was prepared to beg her to reconsider.

It took a moment before the door opened tentatively and the sight of the princess with sleepy eyes greeted Phil. Her face was bare of make-up and she still looked very beautiful. But somehow the distinction of seeing her properly dressed to seeing her now made Phil feel even worse about what he was about to ask of her.

She looked so young and Phil felt horrible that he was involving her in this. But he knew she was the same age as Dan. At the thought of Dan’s fate hanging in the balance, Phil could almost feel his face paling.

“Phil, my dear, you must stop showing up at my door looking like you’re on the verge of passing out,” Elena said. She should be upset to be awoken from her slumber at this horrendous hour but she was somehow just smiling kindly.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said. “I’m so sorry, Elena but I have to talk to you. It’s very important. I…”

Elena held up a hand and Phil forced the words spilling out of his mouth to a halt with difficulties.

“Let me get my dressing gown and a moment to collect myself, Prince Philip. Could you perhaps fetch some tea? Tea always makes things better.”

Phil could only respect that she needed a moment to collect herself. Royals weren’t used to being around other than their trusted staff when they were in their pyjamas. If anyone had strolled by at the moment, they would start to question Phil’s sanity.

To be fair, he was questioning it too at the moment.

He forced his head to nod. “Of course, I’ll be right back.”

Phil watched as Elena closed the door before he got his feet moving. He headed back to the kitchen where he had been just moments ago. Daisy and Florian had taken Sean under the arm and intended to get him home safe. They had needed to move out of there before the kitchen staff showed up.

Which had happened in just the short time that Phil had been gone. So far it was only Janet and Phil braced himself for the scolding he would receive from snooping around in the kitchen at this hour but surprisingly, she just took one look at him and ordered him to sit.

“What did he do this time?” she asked.

“Who?” Phil asked.

“Your uncle, of course. Only that man could make you look so helpless,” the chef said. “I’m making you tea.”

“Yes, please. I promised to bring some up to Princess Elena,” Phil said as he wondered why his limbs felt so heavy right now. He just wanted to go back to his chambers and find Dan standing by the window like he so often did. But the King had taken him away.

A sob escape him and he knew he sounded wrecked.

“Poor, little prince,” Janet said without any taunting in her voice and Phil couldn’t recall when he had heard the chef sound so compassionate.

“Why are you being so nice?” Phil asked because he felt so off-balance already.

“I have always been nice, Prince Philip. I just don’t like it when people get in the way in my kitchen, especially not a little royal prince. If we are even a minute late bringing up any of the food, your uncle will make heads roll. And you distract the staff and get in the way when you’re down here, even if you don’t mean to.”

Phil had never thought of it like that. The tea finished brewing and Phil took the tray with the kettle and two mugs gratefully. He knew how to make tea but no one quite made tea like Janet and Phil was thankful.

“Dry your eyes, boy,” Janet said. “Weeping will get you nowhere. Work hard to change the thing that makes you cry instead.”

With those words of wisdom, Phil found his way back to Elena’s guest chambers. The princess had dressed in a proper dressing gown and her eyes looked brighter and more awake. She opened the door for Phil silently and they sat down on her sofa. Phil poured the tea for them but his hand shook so much that he almost spilled.

They took a mug each and Elena took careful sips while Phil took anxious ones. He didn’t want to just throw the request in her face but he had no idea how to lead up to it.

“I must apologise to you, Phil,” Elena said and it caught Phil off-guard. “I am still regretting that I spoke out of term in front of your uncle. It wasn’t my place.”

“You were just trying to stand up for me,” Phil said with a shrug. Their audience with the King to reject the engagement had been this morning and yet it seemed so long ago. Too many things had happened since.

“Regardless, I spoke out of term and I am regretful for what it may have caused.”

“Elena,” Phil said and sat his mug down and turned towards the princess, who copied his action. “I have something to ask you and you are not going to like it.”

“What is going on, Phil?” she asked and reached out and took Phil’s hands.

Dan had done that a couple of times and Phil remembered the feeling of pure wonder that Dan was willing to reach out and calm him like that. The memory made Phil’s eyes feel wet.

“After you left, the King ordered me to punish Dan for ruining our union.”

“No.”

“Yes, and I didn’t want to hurt him but I got pressured into giving him confinement time in the dungeon.”

“Oh, no, Phil.”

“And I tried to go down there and safe him but he didn’t want to come because so many people might be hurt if the King found out who broke him out.”

“Poor Dan.”

“But…” Phil had tried to power through the story because ever fibre of his body hurt while telling it. However, he wasn’t sure how to tell the last bit. “The King paid Dan a visit, hurt him, maybe really badly and now he took him away. We don’t know where.”

Phil left silent tears run down his cheeks and Elena’s grip on his hands was iron-tight. It didn’t seem like she knew what to say. Frankly, Phil didn’t know what to say about it either. It didn’t feel real; or rather Phil didn’t want it to be real.

It was too cruel.

“And therefore, I have come here to ask a favour of you,” Phil said and Elena looked him straight in the eye, curiosity and anticipation evident. “It is by no means a reasonable request and I would not blame you for throwing me out. But I see no other way and I am so scared for him, Elena.”

The words died on Phil’s tongue. This really wasn’t fair to ask of her. She had been nothing but lovely but Phil was out of other options.

“Phil?” she asked in a soft and patient voice.

“Will you please become engaged to me?”

She pulled back and took her hands with her. Her eyes were blinking double time almost as if that would make Phil’s words process better. Phil was ready to open his mouth and explain but it seemed he didn’t need to, as the princess was a smart one.

“You want a month of engagement to keep your uncle off your back while you look for Dan. If I leave and your uncle presents a new bride for you, then the wedding might come faster. But Phil… a failed engagement or even being left at the alter? My reputation will be tainted. I might never find a suitable prince willing to marry me.”

Phil knew and that was why he was so scared to ask. But this was for Dan. And if his uncle shoved another princess into his life, one that did want to marry him, then Phil would never have any time to look for Dan without arising suspicion from said princess. He needed someone willing to play the game against his uncle with him.

He hated putting Elena in this position but this was about saving someone Phil cared deeply for. But he would never pressure Elena into the decision.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Phil said and hung his head. He was getting ready to get up and leave the room when Elena’s hands caught his again.

“Phil,” Elena said, her voice still soft, even if Phil would have understood why she would be furious with him. They had only known each other for two days and this was no little favour.

“Yes?”

“I have been raised with the knowledge that one day I would have to marry a prince chosen by my parents, even if I knew they would let me decline, if I found the suitor horrible. I did not expect to find someone like you or someone like Dan. It makes me realise what kind of love I want to find for myself. I could care fuck all about titles and good trade opportunities. I care about finding someone who will love me wholeheartedly, despite whatever my past may have included. I want to fall in love with the person I am to marry and I want them to love me for the person I am rather than the pedigree I have.”

Phil’s head was spinning and it might be the lack of proper sleep but he was so confused as to what was going on.

“What are you saying?”

“An engagement broken off will not please my parents and I fear this might be outside of their realm of understanding. But I am my own person and I get to make my own decision. I know there must be a person out there willing to love me, even if my engagement to a high-profile prince falls apart,” Elena said and there was a little smile on her lips.

Phil had never thought she looked more beautiful. But it wasn’t her soft smile or even her caring eyes, it was how she radiated kindness and she was a wonderful person willing to put herself on the line to help someone else. Phil had never seen anything quite as beautiful and he would be willing to beat up anyone who would ever dare to hurt Elena because she deserved the best.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Phil muttered, reaching forward to pull her into a hug. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He wasn’t happy to include Elena in carrying the burden but he was so thankful that she was willing to do it.

Phil sent a silent thank you to his father for somehow finding the most wonderful princess in the whole world for him to marry, even if they never would get to be husband and wife. It felt like his father watched from beyond the grave and had sent an angel in the form of princess Elena to help him.

Now they just had to tell his uncle of their change of plans without revealing the reason behind it. And they would have to find out where Dan had been moved to and how to get him away from the King’s evil clutches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that Dan's point of view in this chapter is so short but that's kind of the point. He's in pain from the beating but as you can hopefully tell, he's somewhere where he's getting medicine and he will be allowed time to heal. Also, anyone remember the chef Janet from some of the early chapters? I'm so happy to have her back for a little moment and show why she's so strict and keen on chasing out Phil from the kitchen when he comes down there. It's all about perspective. Also, bless Elena, I love her so much. This is no easy decision to make but seeing Dan and Phil and hearing them talk about each other, she has renewed hope in love and she probably also feels a little responsible for revealing how much Phil cares about Dan in front of the King. As always, feedback is welcome and I promise Dan will be conscious in the next chapter!
> 
> Also, I just had a panic attack earlier today and I'm feeling so tired and sensitive, so my apologies if the proof-read I just did didn't catch everything. Fuck, my anxiety only gets like this very rarely but it's so horrible to go through. 
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 17th of February. My usual upload time is 8 PM CET.


	29. Searches and Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan was finally regaining consciousness but unfortunately that also meant he was awake to face a confrontation that terrified him. Phil was frustrated with hitting dead-end upon dead-end in his search for Dan until he got a lead from a very unlikely person. (Trigger warnings in the top notes are also spoilers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Confronting your abuser

Waking up was different this time. It felt more real and less hazy with fewer blurry edges. Dan could still feel his body protesting as he tried to move but it was much better than before.

Instantly, he felt like something cold had been thrown over his head.

If he was moving significantly easier after a beating like that then a lot of time had to have passed.

He had to find Phil. Dan knew how worried he must be and Dan absolutely detested being the reason behind Phil’s worry.

His eyes opened without too much protest, even if it took them a good minute to process their vision normally. Dan took note of himself first but he didn’t need to look down to feel the leather bands around his wrists and ankles, effectively keeping him to the railing of the bed he was in.

This place looked oddly familiar and then it hit Dan like a truck.

No…

He couldn’t be back here.

Panic rose in his chest and he pulled on his legs and hands as hard as he could. This time the pain didn’t make him feel like passing out but it still hurt like a bitch. He could feel the bandage around his torso, undoubtedly because of the ribs he had felt break. His breath came out ragged as he struggled to no avail.

It was odd. The first time that he had been in this place he had started to view it like a safe haven. It was a welcome relief from the bearded man and Dan’s injuries had actually been tended to. He hadn’t been exposed to any more violence and all he had to do was heal and eat. Sure, it was a bit boring to lie tied to a bed but it had been a welcome reprieve from the life he had been living for almost a year before that.

Of course, everything was different now and Dan knew this place was no safe haven, even if it might be portrayed that way. The woman who ran this place had an agreement with law enforcement that they contacted her if they found runaway personal servants that were severely damaged. She took them in, treated them and once they were recovered; she sold them off to a large profit.

Dan’s whole body was ready to bolt out of here but no matter how much he strained against his restraints; he wasn’t able to make them budge. He knew that on some level. He had been here before after all and he had made a habit of running away from the people who took him on as a “charge”.

He had tried to run away from everyone, except Phil. Not even once had Dan attempted to flee from Phil.

Phil had been a real safe haven, even if he was planted in hostile territory, which would creep up on you when you least expected it. But with Phil, Dan had felt safe.

He didn’t feel one bit safe at the moment. He had been out of shackles for over half a year and he had forgotten how trapped it felt to have something constantly pressing against your wrists.

Dan wasn’t sure why the hell he was here. Everything had gone blurry after the King had knocked him out in the dungeon. He had been sure he would be gone for but yet here he was, healing and on the road to getting better. Had the King sold him? Could he even do that?

It wouldn’t be an unreasonable assumption. He had killed Phil and Martyn’s father. Dan thrashed against the restraints again.

He needed to tell Phil. Phil suspected a lot of bad actions from the King but Phil would never assume that the King would go as far as killing his own brother. It was vile and Phil had a tendency to see the best in people, even in the very bad ones.

Dan tried to shout but it came out croaky and his voice hurt. He clearly hadn’t been using it for a while and again he got a sinking feeling that he had been knocked out for far too long. He could see the bruises on his arms had already gone yellow, which meant more than a week must have gone by.

“Hey!” Dan shouted and it came out louder this time, even if it made his throat burn.

He was between a wall with a window and a floor-to-celling curtain but Dan knew this room. There would be others like him, people broken down and abused, who would be lined up on beds all the way down behind the curtain. He wasn’t sure why he was behind a curtain this time but he didn’t care. If he could wake some of the other people that would eventually attract enough attention.

“I need to leave!” Dan shouted and his voice came out rough.

“Shut up!” someone yelled and their voice sounded equally strained.

“I will not!” Dan shouted back. “I demand to be released!”

“You’re a personal servant, yeah? We don’t ever get released!” another voice shouted back.

Normally, words like that would have cut into Dan as he was reminded of the place the law had put him in. He had never done anything to deserve this and yet he would wear the scars all of his life. But he had more important things to focus on right now. And Phil had shown him that life could be good, no matter how trapped you felt by your circumstances.

“What is all this noise?” a familiar feminine voice asked with frustration in her tone. It was Miss Sana, Dan’s eight owner who he still wasn’t sure why he was back in the custody of.

“I demand to be let out!” Dan shouted.

“Curtain boy has his panties in a twist,” one of the other personal servants commented.

Dan didn’t care. He just wanted to get some answer and then get the hell out of here. He had to warn Phil that the King was capable of murdering his own blood. The crown prince could be in serious danger.

Even if the King had dismissed Phil like a fool, Dan had been fully aware of how shocked the King had been to see Dan standing his ground. It might make him realise just how dangerous Phil truly was.

Phil was no great warrior and he was awkward in crowds but he was the type of person that you became inspired by either way. He was a ray of sunshine and Dan had no doubt that people happily would follow him over his uncle.

The curtain was pulled aside and the sight of a woman, short, frail and his mother’s age greeted Dan. She looked exactly the same, though perhaps the bags under her eyes had gotten bigger. She had twin daughters who would have turned eighteen by now. Last time, she had told Dan that they were the reason she was doing all of this. She was willing to get money by exploiting people who had fallen victim for the law to ensure her daughters wouldn’t become like that.

“Daniel, why the ruckus?”

Dan was mildly surprised she remembered his name. He had hated how she insisted on calling him by his full first name instead of the nickname he had always gone by. But she called all her personal servants by the first name listed in their file, with no regard to the person’s preferences.

“Why am I back here? You sold me! I have someone else now,” Dan said and he could hear the rage in his voice.

Miss Sana just let out a little sigh like he was being a stubborn toddler as she walked over to check the machines he was connected to. Dan jerked and he made her jump, even if the restraints caught him before he could even get close.

“ _Why_ am I here?” he hissed out and he hoped he looked as angry as he felt.

The woman’s eyes were kind but Dan knew it wasn’t real. She was exploiting people in a horrible way. No truly kind person would ever do that. She might think herself kind for granting them time to get over their injuries but it wasn’t when she tossed them right back into the pan that had burnt them to a crisp before.

“You are here because someone paid good money for me to look after you,” she said, her face pulled into a neutral grimace.

“And you’re still all about the money.”

“I know what happens when you don’t have it,” she countered and Dan felt this particular stab, mostly because how true it was.

“I demand that you contact Crown Prince Philip. I am his personal servant and I know he would never allow anyone else to take charge of me. I want to go home.”

Dan’s voice broke a little at the last bit. For so long, he felt as if he didn’t have a home. His old family home felt tainted now and he knew he would never be allowed back anyway. But with Phil he had felt at home.

“Unfortunately, I have been prohibited from contacting anyone on your behalf. Now, you should get some rest. You’re still healing.”

“From the King beating me within an inch of my life,” Dan hissed out as he tried to move forward but his body protested at the burst of pain.

“I know you’re in pain, Daniel. That’s the reason I have had to keep you sedated. You kept waking up and struggling against your restraints. You would have hurt yourself even more.”

She pressed some buttons on something but Dan was too caught up in his line of questioning to pay proper attention. His head also hurt mercilessly.

“How long have I been here?” Dan demanded to know.

“It does not matter. You still have a lot of healing to go. You need to calm down.”

Dan felt the by now familiar wash of drugs in his system. His headache began to ease but he wasn’t even a little bit happy about that. She was sedating him again. He did not want to go back to sleep.

“What did you give me?” Dan said and pulled against his restraints again.

“Just something that will make you calm down. It’ll only work for a few hours. I won’t put you properly back under. I doubt it would take now that you’ve regained some strength. You are rather resilient when you want to be.”

It was a comfort, even if only a little one. Dan had fever dreams of trying to wake up but he wasn’t sure when they had happened. Everything seemed hazy, which was why he needed to know how long he had been here.

“How long have I been here?” Dan repeated.

“Just over two weeks,” she finally answered and she might have kept speaking but Dan wasn’t paying attention to anything else.

Was Phil even okay? Had he been forced to marry a new princess? Would he still be looking after him, if this much time had passed or would Phil have lost hope?

Dan felt his eyelids glide shut but it did little to soothe the turmoil of emotions in his body.

~*~

Phil was going insane looking for Dan. Too much time had passed and Phil still hadn’t gotten closer to finding him. He just kept hitting dead end after dead end. Frist, he had tried to track down Dan’s chip.

It had taken a few days until they gotten in contact with someone willing to search the database illegally, as the tracking mechanism usually only was activated when a personal servant had been marked as run-away. Phil hadn’t done that because if he did, he would lose his claim to Dan and he would never be able to take him on again.

But it hadn’t mattered anyway because it turned out that the chip had been deactivated and no information had been registered for a new one. The technician told Phil that chips rarely got removed and if they did a new one would always be implemented, which crushed Phil’s hope that Dan might be chip-free, which would have been nice when they found him.

And it was a _when_ and not an _if_ and Phil wouldn’t hear otherwise.

Florian and Sean had tried to discreetly ask the guards if any of them knew anything about Dan being moved but so far nothing had come of it and Phil didn’t have the largest hopes.

Phil had the team of researchers, which his parents had assembled to look at whether they could overthrow the decision of disowning Martyn, help out too. They had been sceptical at first but Phil had dug into his trust fond and they had suddenly been happy to help search for Dan but it hadn’t yielded any results.

Princess Elena had been brilliant throughout the whole process. She had been a support to Phil, much like a real fiancé would have been. She had even reached out to someone known as a tracker from her homeland but in an unfamiliar environment, it was a long shot.

His mother, Martyn and Cornelia had been let in on what had happened reluctantly. Phil hadn’t really wanted to explain it but they had kept asking him what was wrong, as he evidently looked like a dog mourning his lost owner, even if logically it should have been the other way around.

His mother had even tried to speak to the King but he was refusing all of them proper audiences. Ever since Phil had burst in with Elena by the hand and announced that they were engaged anyway, the King had been furious. Phil knew it would do no good to ask what he had done with Dan, so he didn’t even try.

The kingdom was happy that their crown prince was engaged and many wanted the happy couple to make appearances. Phil kept it to the bare minimum and he was mostly a statue, which left Elena with all of the work of socialising on behalf of her seemingly mute fiancé. But she took it in stride and told him to just focus on finding Dan. She might not be his real fiancé but she was turning into a very valued friend.

Phil had never been more thankful for his father’s choice of bride for him.

But over two weeks had passed and Phil still was no closer to finding Dan. But then he got help from the most unexpected person.

As a result of all the worry and stress, Phil had begun to pace a lot. He would pace in his room and he would pace up and down the hallways when it was late and no one would see. He had gotten too used to his and Dan’s late night strolls but it felt wrong to go into the garden without Dan.

That had become their thing and it would be their thing again. Phil was determined to make it happen.

But it was one of those nights were he paced up and down the halls without purpose. He just had to move his feet so he could collapse into sleep later. It felt wrong being in the chambers without Dan’s presence and Phil spent as little as possible time in there.

Phil hadn’t really thought about which halls he had been pacing to be honest and he knew his sock clad feet against the thick carpet in the halls would make the fall of his feet silent, so he wasn’t worried about waking people up.

However, as a door swung open, Phil almost got a heart attack.

He had expected it to be one of the King’s lord friends demanding for him to keep it down, even if he was hardly making any noise at all. But it wasn’t. It was the door to Rex’s chambers that had opened but it was not the newly royal prince stepping out into the hall.

It was his personal servant.

Phil had not expected to see Amanda. And he most certainly had not expected her to come out of Rex’s chambers dressed lingerie and a silk robe that did little to hide her modesty. Phil instantly felt his face flush, with awkwardness rather than arousal.

“Amanda?” Phil whispered and made sure to keep his eyes averted.

He felt like his eyes stung. He had been so caught up in finding Dan and avoiding Rex whenever possible that he had almost forgotten Rex had taken on a personal servant he took advantage of on a daily basis.

“Phil,” Amanda whispered back and Phil could feel the insistence in her voice, so he looked up to meet her eyes. She looked on edge and Phil gathered from the way she was peeking out the door that Rex might be sleeping very close to them.

Which begged the question why she would come out here in the first place.

“I need to tell you something.”

Phil frowned in confusion but nodded to encourage that she went on.

“I know the King took Dan,” she confessed. “Rex talks carelessly sometimes, almost as if he thinks I can’t hear. And I heard something tonight that might help you find Dan.”

Phil found himself moving forward on instinct and it made Amanda pull back as caution radiated from her body language.

“Sorry,” Phil muttered. “But what do you mean? You know where Dan is?”

Phil could feel the hope bubbling up in his chest already but he couldn’t let himself depend on the information. He had thought he had come close so many times to have it fail. He was desperate to believe they had a way to find Dan but he wouldn’t fully trust it until he had Dan in his arms again.

“Rex said Dan is in a healing place to recover. Places like that aren’t common. And I know some of the people who were brought in with Dan and I had been recuperating at a lady’s place until she sold them to the castle. I think Dan might be there.”

It hit Phil like a ton of bricks. A healing place. A lady. Dan had slowly begun to open up more and more about his past in the months they had known each other and Phil recalled a snippet of conversation from the night after Dan had played at the masquerade. He had mentioned that the person before he had come to the castle had been a lady that had been nice considering everything.

But if she had been officially in charge of Dan then that would show in his papers. Phil needed to get hold of that technician again and get him to find out the address of Dan’s eighth owner. It seemed very plausible that Dan might be hidden there. Phil would never have thought to look at Dan’s previous owners, because legally you couldn’t get someone back after you had lost or sold them. But the King did make up his own rules.

“You’re a genius,” Phil said and leaned in to brush a kiss on top of her hair.

She stared at Phil in wonder and then Phil saw the blush ride to her cheeks.

“I get why Dan talked about you like that. He called you quite special. You never hurt him, did you?” Amanda asked in the quietest voice and there was something akin to hope gleaming in her eyes.

“I would never hurt him,” Phil said. “And I’ll find a way to stop that law that trapped you both. I don’t know when or how but I won’t rest until nothing like this exist in my kingdom.”

“Thank you, Prince Philip,” Amanda said and did a little curtsey before closing the door gently.

She was so young and Phil had a half a mind to demand she be transferred to him but that wouldn’t be good now that he was officially engaged. Not quite as much a scandal as having a male personal servant but nonetheless not allowed.

But she had given Phil a new lead. It was a very valuable lead that suggested that Rex was much closer to the King that Phil had originally assumed. It was the middle of the night, so Phil couldn’t do anything until the sun would rise, so he just kept pacing around. He would knock on the technician’s door at first light. He needed to find Dan.

Dan had so many traumas from the past couple of years and Phil wasn’t sure what being back with an old owner would do to him.

“I’m coming, Dan,” Phil whispered to the empty hallway as he kept pacing. “Just hold on. I’ll be there soon.”

~*~

Dan had only been awake for a day and he was already bored out of his mind. He begrudgingly ate the food that was served but he refused all pain relief tablets. He felt more comfortable with the pain and it wasn’t like the stuff was making him heal faster.

The pain with every fall and rise of his chest reminded Dan of what he had been through. What he had survived. He hadn’t cowered, not even once. He had stood up to the King and he had come out alive.

Granted, he could just as easily have been killed but it would have been a righteous way to go. He would have gone as himself instead of some cowering mess like he had been when he first woke up in a bed in this place nearly a year ago.

Dan was proud of his spark but he was about to face something he had never thought he would have to.

It was “viewing day” as it had been dubbed by the personal servants restrained to their beds. Once a week, Miss Sana invited possible buyers in to watch the personal servants. That way they could put their reservations down if someone caught their eye.

It made Dan feel sick. The last time he’d been here and someone had tried to view him before, he had scowled and started at them with all the hatred he felt burning in his soul. He must have looked like a psycho and he was surprised that the man from the castle had even chosen him in the first place.

But Dan was fairly secluded behind his curtain. He ignored the way male voices chatted like they were evaluating livestock instead of people. It made Dan’s stomach turn. To distract himself, he dug his nails into his palm as well as focusing on the pain in his ribs as his lungs drew in shallow breaths.

But then he heard it. He feared he would know the sound of that particular footfall for all of his life. It had haunted his dreams for weeks at a time because whenever that man approached, it meant pain.

But he couldn’t be here. He couldn’t be here…

Dan’s blood went cold and he sat up in bed as much as the restraints allowed and his whole body was tightly wound like a spring. The bad memories came flooding into his skull and it was like phantom pain from old wounds returned to his body on top of his current injuries.

He had never wanted to see that man’s face again. Dan had escaped him but he had almost been to weak to do even that. He had felt so broken, in body and spirit that he almost hadn’t gone for the opportunity when it presented itself because the bearded man finally let his guard drop as Dan became truly submissive. But Dan had managed to pull himself together just enough to get out of there, even if it had felt somewhat pointless on the time.

But now he knew that action had been far from pointless. It had led him to Phil eventually. If Dan had never found the courage to escape after being broken, then he would never have gotten to know the most wonderful person in the whole world.

It was that thought that made him hold the stare as the bearded man from Dan’s nightmares pulled back the curtain. Dan almost pissed himself out of fear as every single alarm bell in his body was ringing at the highest critical level.

Victims being confronted by their abusers would always be painful, especially as Dan felt the restraints rest heavy on his ankles and wrists. He was tied up and unable to properly fight back again. Dan almost wanted to close his eyes and let the tears flow and beg the man to go away.

But Dan remembered Phil’s eyes. He remembered how Phil stood in front of his uncle time and time again, even if Phil was often terrified by him and the power the King had over him. Phil didn’t cower. He stood tall and Dan had come too far to revert back to the mess he had been when he had finally escaped the bearded man.

“Well, well, well,” the man said.

It sent chills down Dan’s spine and it didn’t help that the King had said the exact same thing just before Dan had taken a serious beating. What that some slogan by evil power-hungry people?

“I could hardly believe it when a friend told me that he spotted you here last week. I thought he must be hallucinating but it is you. My little toy who ran away.”

The bearded man let the curtain drop shut behind him and Dan felt as if all the air got sucked out of this small space. Part of him wanted to scream at the top of his lungs in the hope it would attract Miss Sana or her assistant but Dan knew he needed to face this fight, even if he really didn’t want to.

But the scars had healed, even if the mere sight of the man who caused them, were enough to make them burn anew.

“I am not and never was your toy,” Dan practically growled out and he was surprised how angry and dangerous he managed to sound.

The bearded man’s stance faltered for less than a second and that smug smile was back on his lips again.

“You got your disobedience back I see. Huh, I thought I beat that out of you for good. But that was always the fun part. Getting the strong ones to break was always my favourite part. I haven’t met someone I haven’t broken.”

Dan snorted and balled his hands into fists.

“Oh, you broke too. Or don’t you remember?” the breaded man said and moved closer and Dan wanted to squeal and try to move back but he held his body in place, barely. His logical brain knew that trying to move away was fruitless because of the restraints but his animal brain was telling him to try to do anything to get away from the approaching predator.

“You might have made me break. Perhaps, I am _broken_ ,” Dan forced out and surprisingly his voice didn’t shake. He wasn’t scared of his brokenness anymore, not after that conversation with Phil. “But I don’t let that stop me. I am still breathing and I’ll never let someone like you make me give up again.”

The breaded man chuckled and it sounded like pure evil. Chills swept over Dan’s whole body and he noticed how the man paced back and forth in front of his bed. It was only a matter before those rough and hard hands would make an attempt to hurt Dan.

“Oh, I’ll break you again alright and this time I’m never letting you get away.”

The hand came down around Dan’s throat and Dan could do little but flail as he tried to get his hands free to push away the man who was suffocating him. Black spots started dancing in his vision but Dan managed to gather up just enough spit and aim it in the direction in the man’s face.

It was probably the surprise that made the bearded man let go and lift his hand to wipe away the spit. Dan’s chest was heaving with effort to try and get oxygen back in his lungs. The pulsing hurt like hell against his broken ribs.

“You spat on me?” the breaded man said in utter disbelief.

“Yeah,” Dan hissed and he wished he didn’t sound so out of breath or weak. “I told you not to come near me.”

“Oh but you still don’t get it, do you?” the breaded man said and this time his big palm landed on Dan’s chest and forced his back to press deeper into the madras. “You’re a personal servant. You don’t get to tell me anything.”

“But I do,” said another voice as the curtain was pulled aside.

Dan wondered if it was Phil somehow but it was Miss Sana on the other side and for such a little woman, she looked intimidating. She had a bad leg and right now her cane rested at her side but her grip didn’t offer her much support.

“I’m buying this one,” the bearded man said and he still didn’t remove his hand. It felt like it was burning a hole through Dan’s chest and Dan wanted it off his body immediately but he could do little in his restraints.

“You know that you can not repurchase someone who ran away from you. It’s in the law.”

“I’m sure it could be arranged,” the bearded man insisted.

“Perhaps, it could but this young man is already spoken for. By the crown prince, I may add.”

That got the bearded man to remove his hand in one swift movement, as if he was suddenly regretting the contact. It felt like Phil was Dan’s guardian angel, even if he wasn’t present.

Dan hadn’t forgotten how much things like titles and power mattered in situations like this but he had forgotten that Phil bore a title to be respected or even feared. Dan had never really seen him like a royal prince. He had just been regular Phil, who was wonderful for a whole bunch of reasons other than his claim to the throne.

“You best be going,” Miss Sana said and pulled the curtain aside with her cane. “Or I will report you and your assault of someone else’ property.”

Dan had never thought he would get to see the bearded man look scared but there it was. He was scared of the royal family. He was scared of Phil. He made a swift exit and as Dan heard those familiar footfalls disappear, he suddenly started to feel the panic.

He felt his skin crawling at his neck and the spot in the middle of his chest still felt like it burned. He was struggling to breathe normally. He had just faced the man who had been in his nightmares for months on end.

And he had left. He had left at the mention of Phil.

In the middle of all the bad feelings, Dan smiled. Phil was somehow still protecting him, even as the King had separated them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I didn’t realise he would be back,” Miss Sana said and walked over to the side of the bed. “Are you hurt?”

“Always,” Dan said. “I’m broken but that’s okay.”

“Child, you are far from broken,” she said. “You’re a fighter and a survivor. You carry your scars like a warrior and stand tall, even in battles that terrify you.”

Dan didn’t know how to respond to that at all, so he just nodded. Surprisingly, Miss Sana asked before sedating him without his permission. Dan declined the pain relief and sedative. He didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to be awake.

Phil would find him. Even if over two weeks had passed and Phil might be with a wife now, he wouldn’t give up on Dan. He had promised to do everything in his power to help; Dan let himself trust that promise.

It didn’t mean he would blame Phil for the hurt or the traumatic experience it had been to see the bearded man. But Dan had a new reissuance that Phil wouldn’t give up, no matter what the King might do to keep them apart.

Dan’s head was buzzing with reassuring thoughts of Phil and slowly that made the eerie crawling sensation on his skin fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor heart aches for the boys but thankfully, they will be reunited in the next chapter and you best believe I will never let them get separated again (edit: I originally wrote last chapter here by a mistake because I was tired but chapter 30 isn’t the last one. The last one will be somewhere between 35-40!). I loved reading your speculations of who the familiar female voice might have been and shout out to [blissedoutphil](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blissedoutphil/pseuds/blissedoutphil) for figuring out that it would be Dan's eight owner! And what do you think of Miss Sana? I'd love to hear your initial impression of her. Also, look at Amanda go! That's my girl, even if Phil felt horrible of being reminded that she's still enslaved to Rex. Phil finally got the information that will lead him to find Dan and boy, I cannot wait to have them reunited. 
> 
> Also thank you for all the well wishes in the comments on last chapter. You guys are the best and I'm feeling much calmer today.
> 
> Lastly, thank you so much for getting this story past 10,000 reads! That's such a big number and I'm so happy that all of you have found and enjoyed this story!
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 24th of February 2018. Usual upload time is 8 PM CET.


	30. Back in His Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil knew where Dan might be and he would not hesitate more than absolutely necessary before going to find him. They had been separated for far too long. Dan wanted to hold out hope that Phil would find him - some way, somehow - even if it looked unlikely. Though, Phil did have a tendency to surprise Dan.

The technician who had helped them before was less than thrilled to find Phil standing outside of the office while waiting impatiently for him to show up. Thankfully, he was an early riser and usually the first in the office.

He wasn’t so keen on hacking into the database again but Phil offered him the same fee as before, so he sighed but did it anyway. In this world, money could buy you almost anything and Phil was willing to compensate for all of the risks that the technician was taking.

“You want to locate an old owner of the same number as last time?”

“Yes,” Phil confirmed and leaned closer to look over the technician’s equipment. “Specifically the one before custody was transferred to the castle. It would be a lady, I believe.”

It took five minutes before Phil had a name and a last known address. He paid the technician in a hush and made himself scarce before the technician’s colleagues would show up for work.

He wanted to run directly to the address but he knew he would be safer with backup and fortunately, he knew two very trusted guards. Over the past two weeks that Dan had been missing, Florian and Sean had become trusted allies and friends.

Florian was so awkward but rather adorable, even with his huge biceps and it was quite obvious that Daisy was very smitten. Sean was a lot leaner and he was very guarded but yet Phil got the feeling that he could be trusted.

However, before Phil could reach the guards’ quarters, he ran into his brother in the hall. Martyn normally got up pretty early but this was earlier than usual and Phil was instantly worried.

“What’s going on?”

“I should be asking you! I know you’ve been a mess these past weeks but seriously, Phil you look horrible and you’re twitching all the time. If not for Princess Elena, everyone might start calling you mad. We are looking for Dan but you may need…”

“I think I found him,” Phil said and interrupted whatever Martyn had been intending to say. He knew that his big brother was just trying to look out for him because they both knew there was a likelihood that Dan had been hurt so severely that he might have died.

But Phil wouldn’t allow his brain to entertain the thought for even a moment and after Amanda had told him about what Rex had said, he felt sure that Dan was somewhere relatively safe and he was going to save him.

“What? Where?”

“Amanda told me,” Phil said and just started moving past his brother. He wanted to get a hold of Florian and Sean immediately and go find Dan. Martyn caught his arm and halted his movements.

“Who’s that?”

“Rex’s personal servant,” Phil whispered and he saw how worry overtook his brother’s face.

“Phil, it might be…”

“A trap,” Phil finished for Martyn. “I realise it might have been but you don’t know Amanda, okay?”

“Neither do you!” Martyn argued. “I desperately want to help you find Dan Phil but think about what you’re doing. You can’t just rush into things.”

“I appreciate it, Martyn, but I’m going to politely decline your advice. Dan talked to Amanda before and she would not say something as a spy from Rex or whatever you’re insinuating. Not everyone is as calculating as our uncle.”

Martyn deflated a little and let his grip on Phil’s arm fall away.

“I’m just trying to look out for you, Phil. I’m terrified that something will happen and you’ll lose your claim to the throne.”

Phil breathed out and took a moment to turn and wrap his brother up into a hug.

“I know and I love that you’re still trying to protect me. You’ve done it all of your life but I can’t sit on my hands with this. I know it’s what we’ve both been taught to do and I know Dad might not have approved but I have to do this.”

Martyn frowned, as they pulled apart after the hug.

“Phil, Dad would have been so proud of you. Don’t you ever doubt that, okay? I know he taught us not to rock the boat because he was scared to let someone like our uncle inherit the kingdom but he also trusted our judgement.”

Phil’s breath hitched. It had been a month and a half since their father passed but the wound still felt painful and raw whenever Phil had any time to dwell on it.

“You think?”

“Definitely,” Martyn said without an ounce of doubt in his voice. “And Dad knew what it was like fighting for the right to love the object of your affections. You know how much trouble he had to be allowed to marry Mum since she wasn’t of proper noble birth. But what are you doing now?”

“Finding Florian or Sean and taking them with me as backup to this lady’s address. I just hope at least one of them haven’t gotten shifts this morning.”

“We’ll go check.”

“We?” Phil asked.

“I’m coming with. I can’t let you do this alone,” Martyn said as if it was the most natural thing in the whole world.

Martyn and Cornelia was still living in the castle only because the King permitted it but he could throw them out any moment. If he did, Phil knew the couple would just move to live in Cornelia’s kingdom but Phil very much wanted his brother to stay close in this uncertain time in his life.

Martyn provided a sense of stability. And it wasn’t as if Phil didn’t know that Martyn had stayed close by because of their family situation. He had always loved to travel, as did Cornelia, so Phil knew they would have gone back out to travel the world if Martyn had not felt like he was needed at home. Phil’s heart swelled with love of his brother.

Phil was a little worried about involving him but he wanted to have Martyn by his side. He also knew from the set look on Martyn’s face that he was not budging.

“Let’s go find your Dan,” Martyn said.

~*~

The next time Miss Sana came by to check on him, Dan didn’t feel quite as much resentment as before. Perhaps, it had because she had interfered with his literal worst nightmare or because she had asked him if he wanted drugs last time rather than just administering them.

“You still don’t want drugs, I take it?” she asked as she walked up to the machine to check his values. “I bet you’re still in a lot of pain.”

“I’ve been through worse,” Dan muttered.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed a reprieve now and again, Daniel.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Dan asked. It was something that had bothering him ever since their last exchange.

He was having a lot of ambivalent feelings about Miss Sana because she did provide a safe space to heal but then she still was all business, as soon as your bruises and broken bones had been mended. Dan knew she might mainly have stepped in with the bearded man because she had been paid to have Dan heal rather than suffer more damages but the way she had spoken to him afterwards had left Dan feeling confused.

“You may ask but I will not promise to answer,” she said and leaned on her cane.

“Why are you still doing this? Your twins must be old enough by now.”

A melancholy smile crept onto her face and she adjusted the grip on her cane.

“They did not get swept up at eighteen, you are correct,” she answered. “But they must have sufficient funds at their birthday for the next seven years or they will still be victims of the law.”

Dan frowned with confusion. He didn’t know anything about that.

“Of course, you did not know,” she said and there was the sad edge in her voice again. “It was added onto the law two years ago.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous! What the fuck is that nonsense?”

He felt his heart in his throat again. His younger brother would be sixteen by now and he would have to prove financial stability for seven years? Dan felt his blood boil.

“The cruel world we live in,” Miss Sana said.

“I should have done more than just punch the King in the face. A broken nose and some loose teeth weren’t enough hurt for someone who could do this,” Dan muttered. He registered how Miss Sana flinched and looked at him with a mix of unease and awe.

“You punched the King?”

“Elbowed him in the face,” Dan confirmed.

“You have a death wish, my boy.”

The nickname made Dan tense and furious.

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“You don’t get to call me any term of endearment. I might extend understanding for wanting to protect your daughters but I do not approve of your methods of getting money. This business of yours is an abomination. You give hope to individuals who will cling to any shred of kindness thrown their way. But then you toss them right back into the flames when they finally start to feel better. I respect looking out for your own but not at the expense of others.”

Dan could see Miss Sana’s grip on the cane tightening and the skin over her knuckles turned white. Dan wondered if she would sedate him back to unconsciousness because of his statement but it wouldn’t made him reconsider opening his mouth in the first place. He wanted to take every opportunity to speak up from now on.

He had seen what being forced to keep quiet did to people through Phil and he was done holding back.

“I apologise,” Miss Sana said and that took Dan by surprise but the woman was gone before he got a chance to say anything else.

In a different world, she might have been a good person who would never have to stoop to this level. But Dan believed that your morals in difficult situations showed your true colours, so he wasn’t very forgiving.

She was thriving off of the horrible circumstances that she tried to protect her loved ones from. It was not okay. Dan let his head fall back onto the pillow as another surge of pain went through him.

He just wanted to get out of here.

~*~

Amazingly, both Florian and Sean were able to go out with Phil and Martyn, as they didn’t have any of the early shifts around the castle. Phil felt a little worried abut involving them because the King might discover their assistance but both guards had insisted that Phil shouldn’t be out looking for Dan without backup. They were both surprised to see Martyn and they acted adorably formal just like they had done with Phil in the beginning.

“My brother is not worth getting nervous over,” Phil had said with a snort. “And he’s technically not even proper royalty anymore.”

“Hey!” Martyn said as the four of them made their way out of the castle through one of the service doors. “Royalty isn’t about official titles. I’m still a prince at heart in the sense I want to help the people and do what it best for the kingdom.”

As they moved forwards and the other three started chatting more causally, Phil couldn’t help but dwell on his brother’s words. A prince at heart. Phil couldn’t agree more. He had always thought that Martyn would make a marvellous king one day because he knew how deeply Martyn cared about protecting their legacy and bring a brighter future to everyone in the kingdom.

Phil wasn’t sure if he was a prince at heart. He didn’t feel like it most of the time. He felt like his own awkward self, always screwing up even simple prince tasks and he still got so nervous speaking in public after a few bad experiences of stage fright from when he was a teenager.

But he felt more like a prince when Dan was speaking about him and Phil allowed himself to borrow Dan’s point of view. Dan saw sides and capabilities that Phil wasn’t sure were there but when Dan said it, he almost believed him.

He missed him so freaking much and he just wanted to know that he was safe and get him as far away from the King’s clutches as possible. Rushing through the city alongside his brother and two new friends, Phil felt like they might finally find him.

The address led them to a very non-distinct building and Phil felt his hope falter a little bit but then Sean spoke up.

“That’s here alright.”

The two Lester brothers turned to look at him in confusion. Florian shifted his weight form one foot to another and looked a little on edge.

“What do you mean?” Martyn asked.

“Miss Sana runs this place. She gets contacted when the authorities get their hands on particularly damaged personal servants. I know because… I’ve been here.”

Phil felt completely lost.

“You don’t have to tell them, Sean,” Florian said and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I won’t. Now is not the time for this but let’s just say that I have personal experience with this place despite never being a chipped personal servant. I ended up at Miss Sana’s for a while but I didn’t know Dan had been here too.”

Phil wanted to know more of the story and understand it because he knew it must be related to the reason that Sean had said that his real loyalties had been with Phil’s father. However, Sean was correct and now was not time to delve into it.

Dan might be just inside this building and Phil was not waiting one heartbeat more than necessary and thankfully, Sean seemed to agree because he cleared his throat and asked if they were ready.

Everyone nodded and then Florian straight up kicked the door in for them. Phil had considered ringing the bell to get someone to open it for them but it seemed oddly fitting and after Sean’s brief story, Florian’s display of aggression was rather warranted.

“We need to go to the first floor,” Sean said and the four of them started moving. No one was on the ground floor to greet them, which Phil was very happy with.

Sean lead them down a corridor after the stairs and he look a quick steadying breath before opening the door and going through.

“What is going on?” someone asked as Phil let himself get in right after Sean by pushing past Florian and Martyn.

Phil felt his blood freeze at the sight in front of him. Hospital beds were lining the long room, at least a dozen side by side. Young adults who were bandaged and bruised occupied all beds. Their wrists and ankles were strapped to the beds to keep them there.

Phil could instantly picture Dan in one of those beds but he was more alarmed when he wasn’t able to spot Dan at all. Had they been giving the wrong information?

A small lady with a cane made her way towards them while a young male in a nurse uniform looked very uncomfortable with the intruders.

“It is not viewing day,” the nurse said and his voice shook.

“Viewing day?” Martyn asked and he sounded absolutely furious.

Like Phil, Martyn had done as much as he could to distance himself from the whole concept of personal servants but things had changed after he had learnt how much Dan mattered to Phil. It was impossible to turn a blind eye to things under circumstances like that.

“Don’t mind the boy,” the lady with the cane said as she walked up and then turned to address her nurse. “You are excused. Take the day. I will handle these gentlemen.”

“But Miss Sana, you…”

“I said you’re excused,” the woman, Miss Sana evidently, said and there was a very hard edge to her voice that told Phil one shouldn’t object to her instructions.

The nurse did a bow and carefully moved to try to move past the four of them. However, Sean caught onto the nurse’s arm.

“He’s staying right here until we’re leaving, so he can’t warn anyone of our presence.”

Most of the people in the beds were sleeping or in a coma for all Phil knew but he did see a few curious eyes glancing their way, even if no one said anything. And none of the eyes matched the brown ones that Phil was so familiar with.

Miss Sana walked up to them and she managed a slight curtsey, even with her cane in hand. Phil had a little trouble believing that this was the conniving woman who took personal servants in and then sold them off for profit but Phil knew that looks could be deceiving.

“Your highnesses,” she said.

So she definitely knew who they were. Phil felt a little winded by the whole thing but he cleared his throat and managed to clear his voice.

“I need to find Dan.”

“You must be Phil then, I take it.”

~*~

Dan had heard some ruckus near the door and he heard Miss Sana telling off her assistant but Dan couldn’t hear much more than that and he cursed the damn curtain obscuring his view. However, he would recognise a certain voice anywhere.

“Phil?” Dan called out, hope rising in his chest as he shouted even louder. “PHIL?”

He pulled to sit up as much as he could against the restraints and he heard someone running. It sounded rushed and clumsy and Dan almost didn’t trust his ears but then the curtain was pulled aside and there he was.

Phil Lester.

With his mouth falling open, his chest heaving and the most desperate look Dan had ever seen on him. In the next split second, Phil had somehow managed to launch himself across the space and land almost on top of Dan.

Dan’s heart was beating so damn fast and his head still felt a little fuzzy, so he was terrified that none of this was really happening but Phil’s weight on him felt real and comforting despite essentially pinning him to the bed.

“I’m so sorry, Dan. I’m so sorry, I’ve been looking… And my uncle… and I just…”

“Phil,” Dan said as he breathed out and it seemed to finally do the trick to shut off Phil’s incoherent rambling. Phil also seemed to realise he was almost lying on top of Dan in the bed and he climbed off until he was standing beside the bed, though he kept both of his hands on Dan as if to just make sure that he was real and still here.

“I’m sorry, Dan,” Phil repeated. “For everything and I….”

“Shush!” Dan said and he felt laughter bubble up in his chest because Phil was right here and it was definitely him. Phil had managed to find him somehow against all of the odds and Dan didn’t are about anything other than the fact that Phil was here and that he looked okay.

“Sorry,” Phil muttered and one of his hands had moved to interlock with Dan’s. Dan gave him a firm squeeze.

“Want to get me out of these?”

~*~

Phil looked down to where their hands were connected and he noticed that leather bands that were strapping down Dan’s wrists. Phil’s stomach did an uncomfortable flip. Dan was strapped down just like everyone else in the beds lining this room.

Phil instantly went to untie it but his hands were shaking and he kept glancing up at Dan’s face because this was real. He had actually found him. Phil almost didn’t dare to trust his eyes.

Dan Howell.

He had been missing Dan for so long and he’d been worried sick and almost developed insomnia with his excessive worrying. He wasn’t happy to find Dan tied down against his will but this image was much better than some of the horrors that had plagued Phil ever since Dan disappeared.

Phil finally managed to get the damn leather band off Dan’s left wrist and Phil tried to move his hands to go for the other around Dan’s right wrist but before he could, Dan’s free hand took his and gave him a squeeze.

Phil’s eyes flickered to Dan’s in an instant and he felt floored by the emotion in Dan’s eyes. They hadn’t gone back to the steely gaze that they had when they first met, even if Phil knew that Dan must have gone through some horrible things while they were apart.

“You’re shaking,” Dan said in the smallest voice, palm warm and pressed against Phil’s.

“I’m scared this isn’t real,” Phil replied.

“That’s my line,” Dan said and there was a soft chuckle and it made Phil’s eyes well up. He had missed Dan’s laugh so much. He had worried Dan wouldn’t be able to laugh again for a long time.

Phil wasn’t sure exactly what had passed but he did notice the fading bruises on Dan’s face, almost indistinguishable because they had been allowed to heal but to have any presence still on Dan’s skin after all this time meant that it must have been bad.

Phil reluctantly let go of Dan’s hand to remove the leather bands around his ankles while Dan loosened the other on his wrist with his free hand. The moment Dan was properly free, he sprang to his feet and almost knocked Phil over as he wrapped him up in a tight hug.

~*~

Phil’s hands shook so much that he almost couldn’t get the bands loosened. Dan’s heart had felt like it clenched at the ever-clumsy nature of the person he adored so much. It was a privilege to be able to take Phil’s hand. They had never held hands often, other than taking hold of each other when in need of support but Dan desperately wanted to just hold Phil’s hand just because he could.

As soon as he was out of the dreaded bed, he launched himself into Phil’s arms. It was mostly because he had missed Phil more than he was able to describe with words but also because his legs almost gave out from under him, since he hadn’t been able to move them in two weeks. His body ached in pain and he should have felt weak but with Phil’s arms securely wrapped around him he felt stronger than ever.

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get to see Phil again. He had hoped that Phil against all odds would manage to find him but he had tried not to hang all his hopes on something so unlikely.

But ever since he had met Phil, the royal prince had continued to surprise him at every turn and he really should stop being surprised. Phil was the master of the unlikely and he fought very hard for the things he believed in.

Phil was hugging him so tightly that his still-healing ribs hurt but Dan didn’t utter a voice of complaint. The pain was dull and it was greatly overshadowed by the fact that he felt more at ease than he had in his entire life.

“How did you find me?” Dan managed to ask when he remembered that his mouth worked.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m just… sorry it took so long. Dan, I’ve been looking for you since you disappeared. The King… shit, what did he do to you? I just heart rumours and I’m so sorry, Dan, I…”

Dan pulled back in the hug to slap his hand over Phil’s mouth. Phil quieted instantly even though his eyes went wide.

“Stop apologising. I’m fine…” Dan said and Phil’s brows grew together to show his scepticism. “I will be okay,” Dan corrected. “I don’t remember most of what has passed. I’ve only been conscious for a couple of days. I was in a coma, I think…”

“Coma?” Phil shouted but his voice was muffled by Dan’s hand.

Someone cleared their throat and Dan and Phil turned in perfect sync to see Martyn standing with the curtain pulled slightly aside.

Dan became aware of how awkward their position must look to an outside perspective. Dan had pulled his front back to be able to put his hand over Phil’s mouth but their hips still touched and Dan was swaying into Phil’s touch and both of Phil’s hands were still on his waist. Surprisingly, Dan hadn’t even noticed how intimately they were standing but he refrained from springing away from Phil just because they were no longer alone.

He couldn’t really have done it very well because at his brother’s appearance, Phil’s hands had just tightened around Dan’s waist, securing him in place.

Dan hadn’t talked to Martyn very much and he’d only met him a handful of times. He used to stop by the library on occasion but that felt like ages ago now. It was a time before he had gotten married and before Rex had started snooping around. Of course, Dan had also seen him when Phil had dragged him along to the very private family ceremony just after their father died.

Dan wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t even sure how Martyn was involved in all of this. It seemed unlike Phil to drag in his brother to something like this but Dan also knew the two of them were very close.

~*~

Phil had forgotten completely about Martyn, Florian, Sean, Miss Sana and her nurse and all of the other personal servants confined to beds. He had just seen Dan and everything else had faded because it was Dan and Dan was right here.

“I’m glad to see you are relatively unharmed, Dan,” Martyn said and did a light bow of his head to show Dan respect.

Dan tensed on Phil’s arms and Phil’s hands moved to the small of Dan’s back on their own accord and he started stroking his thumbs back and forth on the spot in a soothing manner. Dan breathed out against Phil’s cheek but his body relaxed a little more.

“Yeah, thanks,” Dan answered.

“I know you want to have a big reunion but this is not the place for it. You need to move to the next rendezvous in case word reaches our uncle. And we need to have a word with the owner of this establishment.”

Phil nodded. Martyn was absolutely correct. “Yes, of course. Can you walk?” Phil then asked Dan.

Dan clenched his teeth and shifted his weight a little away from Phil and almost stumbled.

“Err, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hold onto you,” Dan said and the cutest blush rose to his pale complexion. Phil’s breath hitched but he moved Dan’s arm around his neck so he could stabilise Dan’s movements.

On the other side of the curtain, Sean and Florian were still standing in front of the door and Miss Sana and the nurse looked rather uncomfortable. Or to be clear, the nurse looked about ready to crap his pants and miss Sana was much more composed but she was fidgeting with her cane.

Phil put his arm around Dan’s waist and he tried not to look at personal servants who looked at them as they passed. This was sick. Phil recalled how Dan had explained this place but seeing it with his own eyes was a different experience.

“Miss Sana,” Martyn said.

“Your highnesses,” she addressed respectfully.

“I assume you were asked by the King, our uncle, to house Dan and help him heal from his wounds?”

“You would be correct, sire.”

“I do not know nor do I care what our uncle was paying you for this service. We will double it, if you explain that Dan escaped on his own,” Martyn continued. “We realise it is a risk but the fee should be amicable.”

Phil was just watching his brother rule the negotiation but he knew there was something that had to be added.

“And you don’t sell any of the personal servants currently in your position,” Phil added and every set of eyes in the room snapped to him.

He felt the doubt rise in his chest but he knew he had to do this. Sean and Dan had both been through this place, through this experience of being granted a place to get better only to be thrown back into the cruel world.

“My crown prince, you must understand that some of these people have already been reserved,” Miss Sana said and she held onto the polite tone but her eyes were hard.

“I do not care. You took them on and you will take care of them. You will not take in any more unless to provide a true safe haven for them, not a temporary fantasy one. You may ask them to help with chores to uphold the conditions of the law but no more than that. We will offer you some money as compensation but this business of yours will not continue.”

~*~

Dan watched with baited breath as Phil spoke to the small but fierce woman. She had been accommodating so far but Dan saw the shift in her posture when Phil wanted to take away the way she made money.

He was extremely surprised to hear Phil even speaking up like this. He preferred to hold back and not to create conflict and it had been perfectly natural that Martyn was the one who stepped forward in the beginning.

“I beg your pardon?” Miss Sana asked.

“I said,” Phil repeated, “that you will not sell any of the personal servants in your household nor will you take in new ones. I know you might have good reasons for your actions but I can assure you that this is no way to create a living.”

“And what is stopping me from turning on our arrangement and tell the King about the five of you?” she threatened and Dan’s stomach dropped.

He didn’t want to get anyone else in trouble, let alone Phil, Martyn and the only two decent guards in the castle. Dan felt Phil’s sharp intake of breath against his side and he thought Phil might panic but he spoke with a perfectly even voice after he composed himself.

“You will do no such thing because you do not want to oppose me. I am the crown prince and one day it will be my throne. I want to create a land where my people will not have to stoop to these levels to make a living and I can assure you that the future is coming. I have an excellent memory and I look out for my allies and for good people. I will not threaten you into compliance, like you just tried to do to me. Instead, I will ask you where your loyalties truly lie.”

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. The quiet was tense as Miss Sana stared into Phil’s eyes.

“Those who oppose the King will always pay,” she said.

“I am far too familiar with that,” Phil replied. “But that does not mean that you get to turn away from your own moral compass.”

“You still have those twin daughters?” Sean asked and Dan frowned because he had no idea how the guard would know that. Miss Sana nodded.

“You’re doing it for them, right? The end justifies the means and all that? It’s bullshit. Prince Philip is correct. Times are changing and you do not want to stand on the wrong side of history.”

Miss Sana looked confused and Dan felt like that too as he watched the exchange with a tense expression. He had always thought that Miss Sana would have been different if it hadn’t been for the law and growing up with twin daughters to look after all on her own. She might have been a decent person who would never have thought of doing something like this.

Dan wasn’t sure if he would have been prepared to place so much faith in her to do the right thing but he knew that was the way Phil operated.

Phil never wanted to exert his power, over anyone, so instead he appealed to them with his words. Where his uncle would use threats, Phil used promises.

Dan felt his heart swell with pride for the man at his side. Not only had he come all this way to find Dan but he was standing up for everyone in the room, not just the person he had come here for. Phil might have grown up and learnt to turn a blind eye at things but it was different now. Dan could feel the change within him.

“Fine,” Miss Sana said. “I will accept your payment and I promise to stop my business. You must understand that it was just for my girls.”

“Poor excuse,” Sean bit out and he sounded so hostile and guarded. Clearly, there was a lot Dan didn’t know about their new ally.

“Hey,” Martyn said in the same gentle and patient voice that Phil had used. “We do not condone what you have done but we _do_ understand it. My brother and I are doing everything in our power to be the change we want to see in the world. You will not be forgiven for your past actions but we will allow you a chance to be a positive change in the world.”

Miss Sana nodded and their five man group started to move out but Dan pulled Phil to a halt in the doorway and turned back towards the room of personal servants. Half of the people in the beds were out, probably either sleeping or sedated but he still needed to say something to them and Miss Sana before he could leave this place.

“What you all witnessed here… is a part of history. All of you, strapped to beds against your will while you dread what horror will befall you next, you will get a chance to be truly safe. I didn’t think it would ever be possible. I thought that once you got into this life and especially if you got hurt like I and all of you have been, then that would be it. We would die worthlessly like the law told us we were. But it’s _wrong_. There is still kindness in the world, even in these dark times where everyone seems to be looking out for themselves above all else.”

Dan let his eyes sweep over the beds and he saw that he had everyone’s full attention. Then his eyes settled on miss Sana.

“I hope you to not take this promise lightly. I hope you become someone your daughters can be proud of. I’ve seen that you feel bad for us and I think you must have doubted what you do here more times that we can imagine. Stick to this promise. Phil would never come after you, but trust me, I will if I have to.”

“Dan,” Phil whispered, clearly trying to deter him but Dan could not be deterred right now. Phil’s promises were so noble but promises wouldn’t be enough for all people.

“You have found yourself quite the confidant, Prince Philip,” Miss Sana replied and watched the two of them, Dan’s arm around Phil’s shoulder and Phil’s arm around Dan’s waist. “I did not think such a bond could be formed between people in a power game like the one you are in but I am relieved to have been mistaken. I will keep the promise, Prince Philip, and I will hold out for a brighter tomorrow, like you promised.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they're back together! I'm so happy to have them back, I've missed writing their interactions so much. We also got to have a bit more of Martyn, who hasn't been very prominent in the story for a while. And then there's the mystery of Sean's past and why he was somewhere for damaged personal servants despite not being one. Also, I promise that the boys will not be torn apart anymore and the angst is finally mostly behind us, even if there's still drama on the horizon and obviously a battle with the King.
> 
> On another note, I'm almost running out of having pre-written chapters and I'm so insanely busy at the moment (full time Master student, 3 part time jobs, training with and looking after horse and currently moving into a flat of my own) so I don't have a lot of time to write right now. I will try my utmost to not miss an update but just consider yourself forewarned. I don't want to rush the ending because I love this story so much and I "only" need to write five-ish more chapters and I want to do the ending justice. That being said, next week will definitely go up on time because that chapter is written.
> 
> Next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 3rd of March 2018.


	31. Hurtful Family Betrayals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They needed to get that chip out of Dan so the King couldn't just look up the ID number and find out where Dan was. However, that meant they would have to make it through town and ask help from the blacksmith's surgeon daughter while Dan was not in the best condition. Thankfully, Dan was able to lean on Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of blood, not-graphic surgery. ALSO! Someone made fan art for this story, see end notes for link.

[fan art](http://natigail.tumblr.com/post/171404990262/tylenolnol-natigail-secretlywritingstories)

Phil never wanted to let go of Dan ever again. He wanted to keep his arms around him and just stay like this. No one would be allowed to pry them apart. He didn’t want to think about the things that had to come next but they would have to.

“Florian and princes, you should head back to the castle so that you’re seen out and about with Dan as little as possible. I can take him to Marble Smith,” Sean offered.

Phil’s arm around Dan instantly tightened and Phil heard Dan draw in a surprised breath.

“I’m not leaving Dan,” Phil said and he knew the edge of his voice was chipped but he couldn’t help himself. Phil wasn’t intending to let Dan out of his line of sight any moment.

“Why do suggest that?” Martyn asked, more sensibly and less emotional at the moment.

“You have already been seen here and though the word of the personal servants will not officially mean anything and you made the slavetrader promise not to speak. I can only assume that your uncle is keeping tabs on Dan. It would be better if less people were moving him around, less suspicious too.”

“Sean…” Florian said and Phil could sense that the taller guard was slightly on edge.

“You should go, Florian, either way. This is about to get more dangerous to move Dan through town. You know why you can’t afford to show your loyalties like this,” Sean said.

“Then Florian and Martyn go back,” Dan said and Phil felt how he tried to stand up straighter but ended up having to press further into Phil’s side to be able to do it. “Me and Phil will be fine.”

“Phil and I,” Martyn corrected, and Phil knew it was an automatic response because they had been taught to speak properly and their tutors had been very effective in correcting out little mistakes like that.

It seemed to lighten the mood though because Dan barked out a laugh and then seemed to flinch. He was holding it together well but he had been through the ringer and he was still healing. Standing on the ground floor wasn’t getting them anywhere. Phil wasn’t sure what Sean meant by his comment to Florian but he was right that a smaller group would arise less suspicion.

“Yeah, Dan and I will be just fine. I think I know where Willard’s daughter lives,” Phil said.

“You’re not going without back-up and Dan is in no state to act as it,” Martyn argued.

“I’ll go,” Sean said. “And we should get going.”

Martyn and Florian agreed to make their way back to the castle while Sean guided Dan and Phil towards the location of Willard’s daughter’s private practice. Phil was happy that Sean had insisted on sticking with them because he was sure he would have gotten lost on the way and with Dan limping at his side, it wouldn’t have been a very good thing.

Thankfully, most people in the village didn’t shoot Phil a second glance, as he dressed as a normal commoner. He was glad that he had never been much of a public figure other than the odd ceremony he had been forced to attend.

~*~

Walking hurt but it sucked a little less because Dan’s arm still was securely around Phil’s neck and Dan could feel Phil’s sturdy grip against his waist. They were so close and Dan would normally never have allowed himself to lean on someone like this but it was Phil and Phil was someone very special.

Still, each step and movement made Dan ache and he felt like he had lost almost all his muscle mass in just the two weeks he had been confined to the bed. He was mad at the King for putting him into that position but that wasn’t even very high on the list that about the King with infuriated Dan.

He needed to tell Phil what the King had confessed in the dungeon. The King had poisoned Martyn and Phil’s father.

Dan was pretty sure it had been a slip of the tongue as a result of wanting to taunt Dan and also somewhat regarding Dan as less of a human being because of his social status.

Dan wasn’t sure how to tell Phil and when Phil had shown up with Martyn as well, Dan had known that he couldn’t just spurt it out. Martyn might not believe him and Dan wasn’t willing to have this discussion when they were in a bit of a rush to have the GPS chip removed and he frankly felt like hell warmed over.

He counted his steps and tried to match Phil’s stride to make the walking less painful. Sean was in front of them and Dan let Phil just guide him. He was very happy when they finally came to a stop without having been bothered even a single time.

Their crown prince was walking amongst them and none of the people they passed had noticed. Dan wasn’t sure if he was biased but when he looked at Phil, he could practically see how he radiated and he wasn’t sure how someone so bright wasn’t attracting attention, royal blood or not.

Sean, Phil and Dan walked through a door and a small waiting room and a receptionist met them. Dan had never liked doctors. Because of his family’s lack of wealth, he’d never been able to go to a private doctor and he’d only been seen by some of the doctors who volunteered every so often to help the financially challenged people.

Those temporary clinics had always been understaffed and the doctors rushed around and looked very grumpy. It had made young Dan scared of doctors and Dan felt that he hadn’t quite left that unease feeling behind.

“We’re here to see Marble Smith,” Sean said to the receptionist, who looked up at him with a bored expression.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“Yes, if you just tell her that Dan is here, I’m sure she’ll know,” Sean said and Dan couldn’t help but admire how Sean kept a friendly tone and a smile, even as the receptionist shot a little glare his way. It oddly reminded Dan of how Phil acted.

Hesitantly, the receptionist got up from the desk and heaved a big sigh. It only too a moment before the receptionist was back and informed them that they could come right in.

Dan hadn’t met Willard’s daughter before and he hadn’t been very fond of his one encounter with the blacksmith himself but he straightened when he came into the examination room.

Doctor Marble Smith was tall and curvy and had the same black hair as her father. She smiled kindly as they walked through the door and she reached out to shake Dan’s hand instead of Sean and Phil’s.

“You must be Dan,” she said and she had a soothing voice that instantly put Dan a bit more at ease.

“Yeah,” Dan said and shook her hand with his only free hand.

The doctor’s hand felt steady in his and it was a standard for him to shake with his non-dominant hand anyway. He had learned to adapt to the fact that most people became baffled if someone put their left hand forward instead of their right.

Marble turned to greet Phil with a bow and a shy smile and she likewise shook Sean’s hand.

“You really don’t need to stick to formalities,” Phil said. “We’re asking you to run a big risk here and I’m sorry for it.”

Dan felt a little hazy and it was tiring to focus on the conversation. He hadn’t paused to consider that of course this doctor, who was a daughter of the gentle giant blacksmith, would be in trouble if the King discovered where Dan had had his chip removed.

Dan was about to open his mouth and argue but Marble shut them all up with a firm shake of her head and a determined glint in her eye.

“I agreed in a heartbeat, Phil. You know my father has always loved you and this law is vile and I’m disgusted every time I’m required to implement a new chip into someone innocent. I’ll be my pleasure to remove Dan’s. Now, come.”

Without being able to make any protests, Phil pulled him along, so that he could sit down on the operating service in the middle of the room. Dan flinched a little as the coldness from the table easily made it through the thin pyjamas pants that miss Sana had put him in.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked instantly and put a reassuring hand on Dan’s shoulder.

Dan clenched his teeth but looked up at Phil’s bright eyes but worried expression and tried to force a smile.

“Just a little cold. It’s be fine, Phil.”

“It will be fine, right, doctor Smith?” Phil asked Marble who was putting gloves on.

Dan still didn’t like doctors and he wasn’t keen on allowing anyone near him with a scalpel but he knew that this needed to be done.

“It’s perfectly safe if you have the proper medical expertise. Do not worry, Phil. I promise he’ll be okay. It won’t be bad, Dan. Could you lie on your stomach for me, please?”

The instruction sent a shiver down Dan’s back but he did as he was told. As soon as he was lying flat on his stomach and put his head into a little thing to hold it, which had a hole so that he could see the floor, Phil’s hand found Dan’s.

Dan didn’t even need to look back to know that it was Phil’s calming touch. It felt familiar by now and Dan relished in the realisation that physical touch could also be something that he found comforting, at least with Phil, after he had been scared of any touch for so long.

Dan squeezed Phil’s hand.

~*~

Phil didn’t want to admit or show it but he was rather anxious for Dan. He knew that the doctor had said that it was perfectly safe and Phil knew that Marble was a skilled surgeon but this was Dan.

When Dan squeezed Phil’s hand, Phil’s heart did a little leap and he felt breathless for a moment. It was such a small gesture but it perfectly captured what they needed to tell each other. This would be okay.

It was incredible that they had come so far that it could be said with just a little hand squeeze.

“I’m going to take advantage of the fact that you’re in a hospital gown like shirt, Dan, and open a few buttons here in the back. Not many but just enough to give me proper access to your neck, okay?”

Dan tensed but said “okay” at the same time.

Marble’s hands were strong and capable and she unbuttoned only two buttons but it was enough for Phil to see the just a little of the scaring Dan had on his back. Some of it looked like burns and others might have been created from knifes. Phil’s stomach dropped and he wanted so desperately to find anyone who’d ever laid a finger on Dan and throw them all in the dungeons.

He supposed that included his uncle too. Phil hadn’t been aware of just how much damage the King had inflicted on Dan but he knew it would have been bad. The healing bruises detested to a rough beating.

But Phil had become aware that Dan hadn’t taken it lying down. While he had done his best to stay away from the King, who seemed to have done somewhat the same, Phil had caught a glimpse of him when he announced that he and Elena was engaged.

His nose had been swollen and crocked and his lip had been twice its normal size. Dan had caught him square in the face and Phil wasn’t still sure how Dan had walked away alive from that one. He’d have to ask him about it.

“I’m just going to administer a mild anaesthesia to help with the pain,” Marble said from the counter after she prepped her tools.

Dan shot up and twisted his body around in one movement, even if Phil caught the hard wince of pain on his face, as he did so.

“No. No drugs. Nothing. I can take it. I promise to be still.”

There was desperation in Dan’s voice and Phil’s heart ached.

“Dan, it’s standard practice…” Marble started to argue but Dan shook his head and cut her off.

“I don’t want anything. I was on heavy sedatives before. Medically induced coma or whatever. I’m not having any more drugs in my system. I… I don’t want to lose time again.”

~*~

There was no way in hell that Dan agreed to having administered any drugs at freaking all. No needle would pierce his skin. He still remembered the foggy and hazy feeling of trying to wake up but something pulling him back under.

It was the ultimate loss of control and even if Dan knew that logically this anaesthesia wouldn’t do that, he still couldn’t get himself to agree.

“Is there any way we can do it without?” Phil asked the doctor and Dan was happy that Phil was able to be more polite.

“I suppose we could forego it. But then I’ll have to strap your down. You can’t move during this procedure, Dan. I could severely damage your nerves and none of us want that. Would you rather be strapped down?”

Dan could hear the concern because she would obviously be hesitant to suggest that to someone who might have a bad history with being retained. Dan was pretty sure no one in the castle, not even Phil, knew the extent of the traumas he’d been through, so the doctor would just be making an educated guess.

Instead of answering doctor Smith, Dan turned to Phil.

“Hold my hand all the way through?”

“Of course,” Phil agreed without even a miniscule moment of hesitation. The instantaneous reaction made a smile creep onto Dan’s face. Being strapped down or sedated wasn’t two options Dan wanted anything to do with but he wasn’t ready to give up consciousness.

He feared that Phil might not be here when he woke up again.

Dan lied back down and allowed himself to be strapped down. Phil’s hand was steady in his.

“You should talk to him,” the doctor suggested. “It won’t take more than a few of minutes but conversation might help him focus on something else, but you’ll have to be quiet, Dan. Understood?”

“Yes, mam,” Dan said.

“Good, I’ll get started.”

~*~

“I don’t really know what to say,” Phil said and kept steady pressure on Dan’s hand.

He cleared his throat and looked around the room. Sean was by the door; like he was standing guard and he’d been completely silent since they walked in here. It was like he knew that Dan and Phil needed their space but at the same time he wasn’t leaving them out of his sight. Phil found it reassuring, though maybe a tad odd too.

“Just talk about anything. It doesn’t matter what, Phil,” Marble said and finally walked up to the table with her scalpel in hand.

“Err…” Phil didn’t like this pressure and the room felt so quiet but this was for Dan, so he would find a way to do it. “I missed you a lot. Obviously. I hope you know that.”

Dan hummed in response.

“No vocal responses,” Marble instructed. “The vibrations go through your chest.”

“I know you don’t like being told what to do,” Phil said and looked at the back of Dan’s head as Marble wiped down the back of his neck with something antiseptic. “You had to learn how and I can imagine it was a learning curve full of bruises. I know you do not want any pity, so I will not say that I’m sorry for what happened to you, even if it’s the truth. You’re one of the strongest people I know. You have a fire in your eyes. I think it was always there, even when we first met and I thought that you had cold eyes.”

Marble made the incision and Dan’s hand tightened around Phil’s as Phil diverted his eyes not to see the blood.

“I think smoke might have been clouding your eyes but there was still that fire. I don’t think anyone would be able of fully putting it out. And I’m proud that it’s flared up over these past months that I’ve known you. It’s been such a pleasure to meet you and I know you didn’t really have any say in the matter but I’m happy that you came into my life, you know?”

Marble put down the scalpel and pulled out something that looked a bit like tweezers. Phil was very decidedly not looking anywhere near Dan’s neck anymore as the surgery went on.

“These past few weeks have been hell. My every focus has been on finding you. Oh, and Princess Elena is still around. We’re engaged, technically, just to keep my uncle and his list of other princesses at arm’s length. I’ve been avoiding him. The King, I mean. But I saw what you did to his face. His nose will never be the same, Dan. I don’t usually condone violence but this one I can definitely let slide.”

Phil shifted his hand a little and gave Dan’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“It still feels a little like all of this isn’t real and I’ll wake up in the bed in our chambers and you still won’t be there. I’ve woken up drenched in sweat and reaching out for you more times than I’m willing to admit,” Phil confessed and his voice dropped to an almost whisper. “I call out your name and when the silence hits me… It’s really been hell, Dan.”

Marble got held up the GPS chip for Phil and smiled. Sean instantly moved forwards and took it from her. After he wiped it off, he went over to the computer in the corner and started typing. Phil wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing but he’d come to trust Sean over these past weeks. Marble got ready to stitch Dan back up.

“Hmm, yeah. I don’t know what else to say. Everything is a mess but none of it matters because you’re _here_ , Dan, and you’re _okay_. Relatively, I mean. You still have the fire in your eyes and those biting remarks and you’re still you. I was so afraid to leave you in the dungeons and I have desperately wished that I could go back and somehow convince you to leave with me, so you didn’t have to suffer that beating. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I know that’s what you said all the time. I shouldn’t make promises I can’t keep. But I want it so desperately to be true. I just…”

“All done,” Marble said as she finished up the stiches and removed Dan’s restraints.

Dan moved fast, way too fast and he tumbled into Phil’s arms and the suddenness of it all made Phil flail and lean back. He felt how he lost his balance but it didn’t matter because Dan’s arms were around his torso and squeezing him so tightly that he couldn’t breathe properly. They both fell to the floor and Phil instinctively wrapped his arms around Dan.

“Easy!” Marble exclaimed.

Phil could feel Dan’s rapid heartbeat matching up to his own. He had landed on his back and Dan was lying on top of him and still clinging on for dear life. Dan was shaking against Phil and when gradually he pulled back, Phil could see the tearstained eyes blinking back at him.

“You’re such an idiot, Phil Lester,” Dan whispered and sniffled. “I missed you so much too.”

~*~

Keeping still while he had felt the blade slice open the skin at the back of his neck hasn’t been as difficult as Dan had feared. But it probably had something to do with the fact that his entire focus was on Phil and he was having a much harder time staying silent as Phil’s voice sounded so vulnerable.

He had felt the tears come to the surface and he’d bitten down on his lip not to let out a sob or something else ridiculous. He was having surgery and the pain was there but Phil’s grip on his hand was so strong and Dan focused on the feel of their palms against each other.

Phil had missed him. Phil had spent every moment looking for him. Phil had agreed to become engaged and somehow convinced Elena to keep other possible princesses at bay. Phil had woken up with Dan’s name on his lips and felt his heart break when Dan wasn’t there like.

Dan had missed Phil so extremely that he wasn’t even sure how to explain it and he hadn’t even been conscious for most of the time that they had been apart.

So as soon as he got the all clear, his body moved to his heart’s wishes and he was holding Phil close again. Black spots danced in front of his eyes and he felt how Phil lost balance and started toppling back but Dan didn’t care.

Even as he collided with Phil and his wounds ached. He didn’t care because Phil had missed him. Three certain words came to mind but Dan didn’t want to tell Phil here in front of Marble and Sean.

So instead, he called Phil an idiot and Phil’s eyes lit up like the fucking sun and Dan had a good idea that Phil could tell by his tone what he really meant.

Dan was holding his hands on either side of Phil’s head and their faces were so close. He could easily lean in and kiss Phil but he wasn’t sure if he should. His surge of bravery in the dungeon had been brought on by the fact that he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to see Phil again. They might still be separated anew but Dan had a feeling that the pair of them would fight tooth and nail for that not to happen.

Before Dan could decide on whether to kiss Phil or not, Phil moved up and forward to wrap Dan up in a hug. As he moved, Dan’s legs were sifted so his knees were on either side of Phil’s hips. It was an intimate position but for once the alarm bells Dan had learned to live with, were completely silent. Not even a peep.

“Dan, you shouldn’t move that fast. You might feel dizzy for a little while. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself and then you can take the back exit,” Marble said as she finished removing her gloves.

“Thank you,” Phil choked out and Dan knew he didn’t just mean for the surgery or the offer of using the back exit. He meant for risking her license and going against the monarch to help them.

Phil would be the last person to admit it but he had a way with people. He might be awkward when he met someone for the first time but people liked him a lot. Dan was sure they saw the way Phil seemed to radiate sunshine and you got in a better mood from just standing close to him. Without realising it, Phil had been gathering potential allies for all these years with every kind encounter that was the stark opposite of how the King behaved.

“That’s okay, Phil,” Marble said. “I’ll go attend my other patients. Take however long you need.”

~*~

Phil suddenly realised what position he’d put himself and Dan in and he felt a wave of worry but when he looked up at Dan’s face, his eyes were shining and his dimples were prominent on display. He looked happy.

Still, he seemed to realise that it probably wasn’t a good idea for them to sit on the floor because he let out a chuckle accompanied by an eye roll before he got to his feet. He held out a hand for Phil to help him get up and Phil took it without a moment of hesitation.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Dan,” Sean said from his position by the computer. “Phil, I’ve deleted the chip in the system. I registered him as dead.”

Phil’s stomach clenched at the mere mention of Dan dying, even if he knew it wasn’t real because Dan was standing right beside him but he didn’t want anyone to speak of Dan as dead.

It was an image that had been in Phil’s nightmares for weeks and Phil reached over to take Dan’s hand anew. He cleared his throat and he hoped he didn’t sound as choked up as he felt.

“Good. Thank you, Sean. For all of your help. I’ll be forever in your debts.”

Sean looked at Phil like he was being stupid. “You should not say that to anyone, Prince Philip. It is a dangerous promise to make. But you are mistaken. I have been looking for a way to repay your father for his kindness ten years ago. In his death, I have transferred my loyalties to you.”

There was something about the way that Sean spoke that seemed familiar to Phil. He had almost forgotten about how Sean had mentioned that he had a connection to his father. He hadn’t really been in the mindset to process the information at the time as his entire focus had been on Dan but now he paused and his interest was piqued.

“What did my father do for you? I know for a fact he wouldn’t hold a debt over anyone’s head, so I hope you did not do this only because you felt like you had to.”

“No,” Sean said and shook his head. “Your father was very clear about that. Like you just did, I told him that I was forever in his debt but he rejected me and he wouldn’t hear of it. But a favour for a favour is common in my home, so it’s a hard thing to put down.”

“You’re not from this land, are you? You have our highlander accent but you look nothing like the people who live there,” Dan commented.

Phil considered Dan’s words and looked over Sean’s lean but strong frame and his short stature. The highlanders had a tendency to be very broad and tall but he could just have gotten an odd mix of genes.

“Is that true, Sean?”

Sean looked down at the floor and his body heaved with a sigh.

“You’re right, Dan. I only have a highlander accent because that was where I was sent to go through military training after your father found me, Phil. It was out of the way and remote and tough work but it got me out of the way for a couple of years. When I came back, I was allowed to apply to be a guard here at the castle.”

“Found you? What are you talking about?” Phil asked.

His father had never mentioned that he had known any of the guards personally. Phil knew he had been friendly with a lot of them and he knew that he had been well-loved by all of the staff at the castle.

The way Sean spoke of him, it sounded like what had happened between them had been important and Phil had never know what it was. He’d never known whatever side of his father that Sean apparently had. He wondered if he might learn something new about his late father.

~*~

Dan had been somewhat suspicious of Sean from the beginning but Phil was a good judge of character and oddly Sean’s candour now made Dan trust him more.

He could see that Sean was struggling with whatever he wanted to say and Dan knew that feeling all too well. He too knew how to dodge questions but still not entirely stray from the topic because it was something that needed to be said.

With Phil, you couldn’t just bury down everything. Phil was curious and he wouldn’t let things go. He’d give you space but he wouldn’t drop anything he deemed important. Dan felt how Phil squeezed his hand a little tighter and his breathing turned a little shallower.

His late father was understandably a sore topic and Dan mentally begged Sean to consider his words carefully.

“I suppose you do deserve to know. I have wanted to tell you for a while but it just never seemed like the right time. We had an objective: to find Dan. But now that we have I think it is paramount that I make my alliances to you unboundedly clear. I know you may not want it but a confrontation is coming. With all that have passed, the King will not rest until you are eliminated and you will need to fight back, whether you want to or not.”

Dan clenched his jaw and looked over at Phil who visibly paled. Dan knew Sean was correct. Too much had happened and when Dan confessed that the King had murdered Phil’s father, then Phil would be willing to take up the fight.

He would need the anger.

It was a type of anger that Dan had learned to embrace and use to his advantage. It was anger that had burned so bright that it had kept him alive through his dark moments.

Dan didn’t want to see sweet and mild-mannered Phil become angry but he knew it would have to happen.

As soon as Dan confessed what he had learnt in the dungeon about Phil’s father’s fate, the ball would start rolling. And he would have to tell him as soon as they got alone.

“I…” Phil said and he sounded so scared but he straightened his back and steadied his voice. “I guess you’re right. So tell me.”

“I was just eighteen when I met your father for the first time. He saved my life.”

Phil gasped, almost inaudibly but Dan had moved closer to provide emotional support so he was just able to pick it up.

“How?”

“To explain how the encounter came to pass, I have to confess something that I have not told anyone in a very long time. Florian knows but I have known him since my military days. I do not want you to look at me any differently but my real name is James Sean Tyranni.”

This time Phil gasped louder and he flung his hands up to cover his mouth as his eyes widened in shock. Dan had no idea what the hell was going on but he stepped a little in front of Phil, if he needed to get between the two of them.

Sean remained entirely passive but Dan could gather from Phil’s reaction that his name was not good news.

~*~

It couldn’t be.

Phil knew that surname. It was plastered all over the records from a very bleak time in his own kingdom’s history. The time the entire royal line had almost been eradicated with only the queen and her unborn son surviving.

Phil’s great-great-grandmother.

The woman who had been given the impossible choice to either kill her husband or die beside him. The portrayal captured by the figurines on top of the fountain back home.

It was the last name of the tyrant king who had tried to kill every other royal to become an emperor. He carried the name Tyranni proudly.

Phil knew that the family still had massive amounts of land, even if they had been forced out of this particular kingdom. Sean had been a prince but that didn’t explain why he was standing here as a guard, having lived in this land for ten years and saying that a Lester saved his life.

The population and especially the Lesters had been brought up to hate the Tyranni for obvious reasons. Phil had to sit through the same hate filled tutoring. As a young child, he had been taught that you were supposed to think like that.

Enemies.

Allies.

All were just pieces to move around.

However, his father had pulled him aside once that particular tutoring topic finished. He had implored Phil not to judge someone by the past actions of their family. It wasn’t fair to hold the actions by the tyrant king over all of his descendants who hadn’t even been born during the raids.

“But they’re his great-grand children, aren’t they?” child Phil had asked. “And he was evil! Won’t they be evil too?”

Phil’s father had hunched down on his knee, pain flinching across his face because his illness had just started affecting his legs by then.

“You don’t know. Maybe. But you can never assume that. Evil isn’t hereditary. I don’t approve of the way they raise their princes but you cannot put them all in the same boat. You should always give people a chance before condemning them.”

So now, standing in front of Sean, Phil took a steadying breath. Sean looked on edge and Phil could see that he was trying to gauge the situation.

“Okay,” Phil said. “So you are of royal blood. How did you meet my father?”

Sean looked utterly baffled.

“You still want me to tell you? I thought you might…”

“Have you thrown into the dungeons? Turn you over to my uncle? Charge and attempt to kill you? I would never do that, Sean. My father taught me always to give everyone a chance, no matter their social status or pedigree. Besides, you have been nothing but a great friend and ally over these past weeks. I would never turn my back on you just because of your upbringing.”

Sean shook his head in disbelief. “You Lesters are certainly raised differently than we were. We are taught that we only advance in life by taking. The way a monarch changes is when the crown prince challenges the King to a duel of life and death, usually around age eighteen.”

“WHAT?” Dan barked out. “Life and death? Father and son?”

“Indeed,” Sean confirmed.

Phil had heard the rumours but he’d never been too interested in that kingdom’s history.

“My older brother went up against my father and lost his life. A couple of years later, it was my turn. Only… I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to die and even if I somehow managed to overpower my father, I was almost certain I wouldn’t be able to deliver the deathblow. In that case, I would still be the one to die. My father would not hesitate to kill me like my older brother. Now, my younger brother daily called me a coward for not initiating the duel. He couldn’t challenge the King before he had crown prince status. One day, I was kidnapped. Yours and my kingdom are the only ones that still have slave trade, though ours is more old-fashioned than yours.”

Phil was trying to process everything Sean was saying but it was all so horrible. A deathly duel to claim the throne? It didn’t feel real.

“The logistics doesn’t make it different,” Dan commented.

“You’re right,” Sean said with a sad smile. “My younger brother had paid the slave traders to take me here. I was too well known back home. People would recognise me and then they would see that he was not the crown prince. He killed my father a month later and assumed the throne. I’m still not sure why he didn’t kill me. Perhaps, he figured I’d die soon enough. He probably thought a quick death was too merciful and instead wanted to hand me over to the people who would make my death a miserable one. He was almost right. The slave traders beat me within an inch of my life, calling out my cowardice. I woke up at miss Sana’s. Almost instantly, some high-ranking lord recognised me and paid a hefty prince to have me before I was even properly healed. He gathered up some of his fellow lord friends and they wanted to taunt and hurt me. How the mighty descendent of the terrifying tyrant king had fallen.”

“They did that? Our lords did that to you? I can’t believe them.”

“You might be willing to look past the past, Phil. But many in this kingdom have not forgiven my great-great grandfather for what he did to your home. They thought it poetic justice that they found me. But then… your father showed up. I’m not sure how he even knew about it but he burst into the room and shouted at the top of his lungs about how they dared to do this. I was just a kid, still bruised from my last beating and he’d walked in on them holding a blade to my throat and telling me they would make my death as painful as possible.”

~*~

Dan’s stomach flipped. He’d been thrown his lot of threats and he really should stop sympathising with royals but when it came down to it, they were still people.

He was impressed that Phil was able to hear out Sean without any hostility at all. Dan wasn’t so sure if he would have been able to be as noble and progressive as Phil if he has been in his place.

“My father stopped it?”

“Yeah, he took me by the arm and dragged me out of there and then he threatened to report the lot of them because he correctly assumed I wasn’t tagged as a personal slave and therefore they had violated someone of high status. Sorry, Dan, I don’t mean that you…”

“I get it,” Dan said with a wave of his hand. “It’s how people look at personal servants. No hard feelings, Sean.”

“The King probably wouldn’t have done anything to them,” Phil said and he had to force the sentence out because it was so wrong, even if it was true.

“You are probably right but the threat seemed to be enough. Crown Prince Lester got me enrolled into a military unit in the highland and told me to apply as a guard for the castle when I finished training. He said that he’d make sure I got the job and he did. He knew I could never go home. And that’s what I mean about loyalty, Phil. Your father wouldn’t hear of me being in his debt but that does not make my loyalty any less real.”

“You’re a prince, Sean. Technically, your younger brother shouldn’t be king. That’s your throne.”

“A discussion for another day maybe, Phil. But you do not object to my loyalty?”

“Of course not, Sean. I trust you and that has not change because of the people you are related to. My trust is something you’ve earned through _your_ own actions. We’re good.”

“Excellent. Then we might need to move on, what is our plan of getting back to the castle?” Sean asked.

That caused Dan to frown. “Back to the castle? We’re going back to the castle?”

“Well, I can’t be very far away from the castle and I’m not letting you get very far away, mister. You’re sticking with me,” Phil said and swung an arm around Dan’s neck.

Dan’s lower lip trembled for a moment before a smile spread on his face. Phil – wonderful Phil who was so sensible and sweet and willing to see the best in people – wanted him to stay close.

It was good because Dan felt the exact same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys freaking kill me! Like that whole scene after where Dan jumps into Phil's arms and knocks him over just melts my heart. I hope you liked it too and that you're all happy to see them back together. Also, did anyone guess what was up with Sean? Or that he was a lost prince from a brutal kingdom? He was one of those characters that just inserted himself into the story but I like him a whole lot and I hope you do too! And I also got to introduce Marble! She has been planned for a very long time and I'm so excited for you to meet her. What did you think of her?
> 
> Also, I was able to get a few hours of writing done today, so next week's chapter has a first draft and it will be up on time. *self high-five* But I still don't have much buffer so send positive writing vibes my way. That being said, it has been such a big pleasure to lose myself in the story and write big chunks today. I've missed these characters and I'm planning out how the last pieces will fall and trying to tie up loose end and work in last minute ideas. It's a freaking blast.
> 
> Lastly, like briefly mentioned in the top notes. [A piece of art (or three pieces really) was made for this story!](http://natigail.tumblr.com/post/171404990262/tylenolnol-natigail-secretlywritingstories) They look so cool and one of them has a quote from this story and I just love seeing different scenes interpreted and made into art. It's so insanely cool. So if there is any artists out there, do feel free to create art and please tag me on tumblr if you do or post links to it in the commnets.
> 
> Next update will be up in a week, on Saturday the 10th of March 2018. Usual upload time is 8 PM CET.


	32. Let Your Defences Crumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan knew he had to tell Phil about the true cause of his father's death but at the same time he wanted nothing more than to fall into Phil's embrace and stay there. Phil was suddenly worried about how to respect Dan's boundaries when all the walls between them seemed to have crumbled.

Phil should have been worried about sneaking Dan into the castle but it was very difficult to be truly worried when he felt like his universe had been brought back into balance.

Even the revelation that Sean was a royal descendent of someone who almost murdered his entire family hasn’t made much of an impact. Phil knew it was partly because Dan was pressed into his side as they made their way through town.

Sean lead the way again, moving with the efficiency of a military man rather than the self-entitlement that Phil had so often seen in royals. He knew instinctively that he trusted Sean and especially after hearing the story.

The accounts of how his father had busted into a room filled with lords and saved someone who was technically an enemy made him feel so grateful for his father. Phil’s father had done that because it was the right thing to do.

If it had been discovered and reported to the King, it might have caused serious trouble. Phil was under no illusion that his father hadn’t fully well known that. He might also have been slightly better on his feet ten years ago but Phil knew he had been advised not to get into stressful or physical alterations because of his illness.

Phil felt his heart swell with pride and he clung onto Dan a little tighter as they moved. No one was paying much attention to them; everyone seemed to be busy getting on with their own lives.

Going through the main doors was not an option but Phil had lived at the castle all of his life and he had made it his mission as a youngster to find all of the secret passage ways and chambers that had been designed when the castle has first been built. It was on one of his exploring missions that he had found the old attic room that he and Daisy had made to their private playground.

It was that same room he was taking Dan to now. On a selfish level, Phil wanted to take Dan to their chambers but it was inevitable that the housemaids might eventually stumble upon him and Phil could not be assured of their loyalty.

He liked to think he was a pretty tidy person and he was always polite towards them but he did not offer bribes like he knew his uncle might. And Phil couldn’t blame the maids for accepting it, in a world where money was equal to protection.

“You’re insane,” Dan muttered as they approached the castle ground, with Dan still having his arm slung over Phil’s shoulders. “It’s absolute madness for me to stroll back in here.”

“It’ll be fine,” Phil assured him.

Dan snorted and it sounded caught somewhere between fondness and disbelief. “Right. Phil, if you uncle finds out… You have to be careful, okay? Like really careful and-“

“Dan,” Phil whispered with insistence and interrupted him. “I know he’s dangerous okay. It will be fine.”

~*~

Dan couldn’t share Phil’s optimism. It would not be fine. Phil knew things about his uncle but he certainly didn’t know everything. Most importantly, Dan knew that Phil would never think his uncle capable of killing his father.

But Dan had heard the confession from the King’s mouth. Dan wasn’t worried about Phil not believing him because of his social status but he was worried if he might go into denial about how low his uncle was willing to sink. Dan really didn’t want to be the one to tell him but he knew he would have to when they found a quiet moment in private.

Walking hurt but Dan was willing to ignore it because of Phil’s support, both physically and mentally. Phil was like a little sun and just being around him made you feel like he radiated warm and comforting waves.

They wisely avoided the main doors and walked around along the outer wall for quite a bit before they came up to a door that was made for a hobbit or something. Sean walked through first and he fit through it seemingly easily. Phil pumped his head and almost got stuck with his shoulders as he went. Dan went through as quickly as he dared as he tried to avoid bumping the different bruises on his body. Phil offered out his hand from the other side of the tiny door and Dan took it and let that serve as a point to ground him as he climbed through.

“It would be easier if we weren’t so damn tall.”

“One of the few upsides of being short,” Sean said and there was a glint in his eye as he shut the door behind them.

Dan looked around and realised that they had made it into the garden somehow. He had never noticed that there was a door here and he could see why Sean had struggled to get it open for them. It was covered partly and surrounded by thorns on this side.

“I’m afraid, I must leave you here. It would arise suspicion for me to walk around in the castle halls when not on patrol but I will stop by the kitchen to inform Daisy to be ready with the baked good and walk the route you agreed on.”

“Thank you, Sean. For all that you’ve done today,” Phil said and did a bow.

“Like I said, Prince Philip, you have my loyalties. And for the record, it is not only because of the actions of your father. I felt I didn’t remember to tell you that. You are a man in your own right and your action speaks beyond those you are related to as well. You are a good man.”

Phil giggled somewhat nervously and looked to Dan for reassurance, which Dan provided in the form of a small smile.

“Thank you, Sean. And please, drop the title? Or I’ll start calling you Prince James? Not when anyone could hear obviously.”

“I will see to that… Phil,” Sean agreed and an amused smile was playing on his lips. “Dan, it is good to have you back. Please be careful, both of you.”

With that Sean left and Dan and Phil were alone in the garden. They hadn’t been alone together for so long. Not since that fateful morning when Dan had woken up in Phil’s bed. Even in the dungeons, they had been surrounded by people, even if most of them were knocked out and sleeping.

“I can’t believe you came to get me,” Dan spoke and looked up at the sun, sitting high on the sky. “I can’t believe you had a surgeon ready to remove my chip.”

“Of course, I came for you, Dan. What do you take me for? I’m just still so sorry that it took me this long.”

Dan turned his head to look at Phil standing close beside him. The sun was reflecting in his eyes and on his pale skin. He looked like someone who stepped out of a fairy-tale and frankly, so many things about Phil seemed too good to be true.

He was smiling now and his joy at being reunited was palpable in the air. Dan hated the fact that he had to tell Phil about his father.

~*~

Dan was watching with a contemplative look and something akin to sadness crossed his expression for the briefest of moments. Phil wasn’t really sure what made the softness and vulnerability on Dan’s face change like that.

But right now wasn’t the time to question it. Sean would probably reach the kitchen quite quickly and they needed to start moving.

“We need to get you up to the attic room unseen. Do you trust me?” Phil asked and held out his hand.

With no hesitation whatsoever, Dan’s hand was in Phil’s.

“Obviously.”

It was only a swift one-word reply but just that one word made Phil’s heart sing.

They managed to make it all the way to the attic room without running into a single lord or guard. It was a quiet time of day and Daisy had probably grabbed the attention of the guards on duty in those sections of the castle.

When the attic room door finally shut behind them, Phil felt like he could breathe for the first time in almost three weeks. Dan was here. He was back where he belonged. He was within Phil’s reach and Phil didn’t even think for a beat before he turned to Dan and pulled him into tight hug.

Dan exhaled with a huff as their chests made contact and Phil knew on some level that Dan was probably hurt and this might cause him discomfort but just as he was about to let go, Dan’s arms wrapped around him and clung on with the same feverishness.

It had felt surreal to be without Dan for all of this time. All the parts of the castle had felt wrong. Dan had left impressions on all of Phil’s favourite spots. He had left a permanent impression on Phil. Phil wouldn’t want it any other way, even with the pain that he had felt when they had been separated.

Caught in the embrace, it dawned on Phil that they had kissed the last time they had been in the castle together. They had never really had a chance to properly address it and Phil had almost forgotten about it because his focus had just been to find Dan and not to kiss him.

That being said, he kind of really wanted to kiss him right now but he wasn’t sure that he could. Dan might feel vulnerable after all that he had just gone through and Phil did not want to push him at all.

“Hey,” Dan said and pulled back from the embrace slightly, though still keeping his hands on Phil’s arms almost as if he refused to break the contact while he created a bit of space to be able to see Phil’s face as he spoke. “Are you okay?”

Phil sighed a little and felt how his hands still rested on Dan’s sides.

“I should be the one asking you that, you know.”

“I was in a horrible state physically, then I was constantly sedated for like two weeks, then I had to face number seven and then you showed up, so now I’m okay, Phil. I am.”

“Wait? Number seven? That bearded man? The man who…”

Phil was suddenly pulling back and breaking the contact between them, even as Dan tried to follow him.

“Yes. That man, but I’m okay, Phil. Please don’t pull away, I just…”

Dan didn’t even need to finish his sentence because the gut-wrenching expression on his face was enough for Phil to want to do anything to make it better. He stepped forward again and Dan’s arms closed around him anew.

“I can’t believe you had to face that man. Dan, shit, that’s horrible.”

Phil hadn’t meant to swear. He didn’t do it very often. But he might have been picking up on some of Dan’s bad habits.

“It was,” Dan confessed and pulled a little closer to Phil. “And he was as bad as the nightmare memories made him out to be but I think it also enabled me to be able to get some sort of twisted closure. Miss Sana sent him away using your name and your claim to me, Phil. Your name made him go away.”

His name? His title more likely. Of course, he was the crown prince now but it was so easy for Phil to forget how much weight that title actually carried. And how many people probably thought he was just a bad as his uncle as he had made it his mission not to say anything personal to the general public. He was perceived as mysterious and aloof and he was perfectly okay with that.

But there was something in Dan’s sentence that sent a chill down Phil’s spine. His claim. Technically, Dan was correct. Dan had been registered as Phil’s personal servant, which meant that Phil essentially owned him. Phil wanted to pull away again.

“Do you believe that?” he found himself asking before he could consider the consequences of voicing his insecurities.

~*~

“What do you mean?” Dan asked.

“My claim,” Phil clarified and the word left his mouth as if it was poisonous.

Dan supposed that it was for Phil. Phil had always been worried about how far he was able to go with Dan. He had to train himself not to be casually touchy like he usually was with his friends and with every gradual step to becoming more physical he had always let Dan initiate.

“I don’t think that, Phil. We’re not like that. You know that, right?”

Phil shrugged slightly. “Yeah, I guess… It’s just… I get worried, you know? Like when I want to wrap you up in a hug or take your hand or… kiss you. I get worried that you wouldn’t want that and I’m somehow abusing the law by trying to reach out for you.”

Dan knew that Phil was worried about being at the top of the imposed power dynamic between them but Dan wasn’t sure he had ever known just how much Phil worried about it. Clearly, it was something that troubled Phil deeply. Dan pulled back from their new embrace as Phil had gone completely stiff again.

Phil wanted to kiss Dan. He still wanted to do that, even as Dan stood bruised and scarred in front of him. His stomach did a little flip of excitement. Phil still wanted him.

“You’re not abusing anything, Philip Michael Lester. Do you hear me? You are the least abusive person in this whole kingdom. You cannot touch me because of the law. You can touch me because I give you permission. And I do, Phil. Do you understand?”

As Dan had moved back slightly, he had created enough space between them to face Phil again but their faces were so close that Dan could feel Phil’s breath on his cheek. Phil’s hands still lingered cautiously on Dan’s sides.

“Yeah, I know, Dan, but I just feel like I might trigger you or you might feel like you can’t say stop – which of course you can at any time ever just to be clear – because of your past.”

That last bit made Dan flush with anger a little, even if he knew Phil was just trying to be nice. He was perfectly capable of distinguishing Phil from his past abusers and the fact that Phil would suggest that Dan might accidentally pool Phil together with the abusive people who had taken advantage of him was ridiculous.

He knew that Phil would step back the moment he asked him. In fact that might do the trick.

“Stop touching me,” Dan said and as soon as the words left his lips, Phil sprung back as if he’d been stung and he tried to create as much space between the two of them as the relatively small space allowed. Phil looked horrified and confused and pining but Dan didn’t let it linger for long.

“See?” he said, his voice light. “I can say stop with you, Phil. I don’t think I’ll ever want to but I know that I can say it and I know that you will respect it. You are nothing like those other people, Phil, and don’t you dare even imply that you are. Now come here and kiss me.”

~*~

Dan had almost given Phil a heart attack. He had always feared that the familiar hard edge in Dan’s voice would be directed at him and when he said it, the words had felt like they cut right into Phil’s soul.

It hurt indescribably.

When Dan then smiled reassuringly and his tone of voice when back to normal, Phil let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t appreciate Dan scaring him like that but at the same time, the little exercise did reassure him.

He hadn’t even thought about his reaction for a second. He had heard the lack of consent and he pulled away instantly. But now Dan was standing there, smiling with almost a happy twinkle in his eye and he was asking Phil to kiss him.

As fast as Phil had moved back, he moved back towards Dan and their lips interlocked in a kiss.

It was nothing like their kiss in the dungeon, which had been tainted with desperation from both of them as well as careful approach. Phil knew he had the consent from Dan, for real, and he had to trust that Dan would tell him to back off if anything got too much.

This kiss was a lot more comfortable, tinted with a promise of the future rather than a final act of despair as if they might never reunite. Phil wasn’t planning on letting anyone or anything pry Dan away from him again and he would take on the whole kingdom if need be.

They started moving across the room, hands exploring carefully as the kisses continued. Eventually, Dan pulled Phil down with him on the old sofa in the corner of the room. Phil was hesitant to get on top of him like that, scared that his weight might push down on any of Dan’s injuries.

Almost as if able to read his mind, Dan chuckled and spoke. “It’s a couple of bruises, Phil. I’m not that fragile and you’re not that heavy.”

He breathed out the words against Phil’s lips and Phil reconnected them with less apprehension as he let some of his weight rest on Dan.

He could get lost in kissing Dan. The taste of him, the feel of his hands and the way they felt so comfortable up in each other’s space. It felt like an odd mix of new and exciting and at the same time it had a twinge of familiarity, like they had been doing this for so long.

Phil had found Dan. He’d gotten him back and now he was kissing him and Dan was looking at him with those fond eyes and letting out that breathy laughter. It was a new kind of heaven that Phil never knew existed.

~*~

Dan had dreamed of kissing Phil. The desperate kiss in the dungeons when he’d thought he might never see Phil again had seemed like an unreal when Dan had woken up at Miss Sana. At some point, he had even wondered if it was his memory playing tricks on him but now he knew it must have happened.

Because kissing Phil felt like coming home.

It had been so long since Dan could remember kissing anyone but he knew it would always have been different with Phil. Phil was made of different stuff and it had nothing to do with nobility or his royal blood.

He was kind, compassionate and the best person that Dan had ever met. It shined through in everything he did and Dan wasn’t sure how he was lucky enough that Phil had chosen him to pour his affections into.

It was easy to get lost in the taste of Phil or the feel of his hands. It was preferable but Dan couldn’t let it continue. He had something to tell Phil, something that might ruin everything.

Part of him wanted to just keep kissing Phil and wait until tomorrow or just a little later until he told him but it wasn’t fair that he was sitting on this information. Even if he were worried how Phil would be able to handle it.

Phil seemed to sense his shifted focus, as he pulled back and broke the kiss.

“Dan?”

Phil was holding himself up on his arms, either side of Dan’s face and Dan was so happy that being essentially pinning under Phil had absolutely none of his alarm bells ringing. He was vulnerable, pinned down but oh so happy.

Dan groaned because there was so much light in Phil’s eyes and what Dan had to say would ruin everything. Dan added it to the very long list of reasons that he hated the King.

“I have to tell you something,” Dan forced out and already a frown appeared in Phil’s perfect face.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Phil said and pulled back and climbed slightly off Dan, who reluctantly moved until they were seated side by side on the sofa.

“If it’s about the kissing, we don’t…” Phil started to say.

“It’s not,” Dan said and reached over to take Phil’s hand in his. “It’s not the kissing, Phil. I would love nothing more to kiss you until my lips are chapped… well, more chapped than usual. But I have to tell you something. And it’s bad.”

Phil tensed up and fuck, Dan really didn’t want to have to do this. He looked down and Phil’s hand, which he had pulled into his own lap.

“It’s about your father.”

~*~

By the edge in Dan’s voice, Phil knew that whatever was coming could not be something good. It had already been such a long day, of highs and lows, and of surprise revelations, but there was determination in Dan’s voice and Phil knew that Dan would get this out. It looked like it pained him to just think about it and Phil wanted to shoulder whatever was bothering Dan.

But he couldn’t understand what it had to do with his father. Dan had only met him at the engagement ball when he was in disguise. He hadn’t known him very well, despite Phil inviting him to be part of the final prayer.

“Phil, you have to be strong, okay?” Dan said and now Dan finally looked up from their hands. “I’m here for you. Remember?”

His eyes were filled with emotion and he looked on the verge of crying.

Phil felt a lump in his own throat. He couldn’t find his voice, so he just nodded.

Dan swallowed audibly. “When your uncle came down to the dungeons, he sent away the guards while he beat me.”

Phil had known as much but it still hurt to have Dan tell him.

“He was so angry and he got even more furious when I refused to bow to him. He liked to taunt me, about you. And he said something about your father…”

Phil wasn’t sure if he could handle the suspense but at the same time he had the feeling that he would not like it when Dan made it to the end of the story.

“Phil, your father didn’t die from his illness. The King poisoned him.”

Phil’s world stopped spinning. Dan’s hand felt numb in his. Dan’s word echoed in his head. He felt as if his body had forgotten how to breathe and he was choking on the air. Chills ran up and down his body.

No.

It couldn’t be.

That was…

Not right.

It couldn’t be happening.

The King was cruel.

A bad man.

A ruthless ruler.

A horrible uncle.

A terrible brother.

Enslaver of thousands of people.

Responsible for so many deaths in wars that could have been sorted with negotiations.

Responsible for so many traumas to the people he trapped with his law, maybe even their deaths.

But…

His own brother? His own chronically ill brother? The man he grew up with? The kind and noble man who always tried to do the best things and taught his sons who to view the world without prejudice?

“He…”

Phil couldn’t even recognise his own voice. He could feel the denial building up inside of him.

It couldn’t be true. There had to be a limit. There had to be a limit that the King wasn’t willing to cross.

Disowning Martyn was one thing. Making Phil take on a personal servant against his will was another. But…

Murdering his own brother?

The worst of it all was that underneath the surge of denial, Phil knew that it had to be true. Firstly, he knew that Dan would never say something that wasn’t true. Secondly, because he had watched how the King escalated in violence over the years. Supposedly, he hadn’t always been the ruthless and power-hungry man that he was today.

Phil felt like he was losing his father all over again.

He felt the crushing grief and wondered how he would ever be able to breathe normally again now that he knew that his uncle had been responsibly for the pre-mature death of his father.

The prognosis had been two to ten years.

Phil could have had his father for ten more years. Ten years the King had taken from them.

The sob that escaped his body was so loud that it startled him and he was shaking but the next moment strong arms closed around him. Phil clung onto Dan, digging his fingers into Dan’s arms in some subconscious attempt to ground himself.

“It’s… Dan, what? Why? How could he… My father and… I…”

“Breathe,” Dan said calmingly and rubbing circles on Phil’s back. “I’m right here. You’re okay. Breathe, Phil.”

Phil tried to listen and to force some air back into his lungs, even if his attempt just made his whole body shake even more. He remembered how Dan had held him when Daisy had arrived at their chambers to tell them that his father had passed.

None of this was fair. He had just gotten Dan back. He had just started to process that he would have to live his life without his father. And now he found out that his father hadn’t died a natural death but the King had him murdered?

None of this was okay.

The King had to be stopped. He could not be allowed to remain in power. Not now.

There had to be somewhere to draw the line. Murdering his own brother could not stand.

“We have to get him,” Phil whispered out in shaky breaths. “We have to remove him from the throne. We can’t wait an outplay him.”

~*~

Like Dan had feared, Phil looked so lost and hopeless and betrayal was evident on his face. Dan wasn’t sure what he could do to make it better. He desperately wanted to do something to make it better but he had no clue what to do.

But he wrapped Phil up in a tight hug and he didn’t mind when Phil’s fingers dug into his skin uncomfortably. He just held the shaking prince as he processed the devastating information.

What Dan hadn’t expected, was for Phil to speak only after minutes had passed. Where he hadn’t been able to get out a coherent sentence before, he now properly spoke, even if his voice still sounded fragile.

“We have to do something. And… I have to tell Mum and Martyn. Dan, how I am supposed to tell them? I can’t! And what can we even do? The King is too powerful. He has armies and informants. The whole kingdom fears him. How am I supposed to do anything?”

“Phil,” Dan said sternly. “You’re capable of anything. You hear me? You’re the strongest man I know. Not in physical strength but in your character. You are your father’s son. You are so smart, okay? And you have your friends and family. Remember that old saying about being loved or feared? Making someone fear you will only work for so long, Phil. And you are someone that people love. You are so loved. More than you ever realise. And you inspire people, Phil. Every single day.”

Dan couldn’t stand that Phil was putting himself down but he worried that he had gone too far when Phil tensed in his arms. Carefully, he pulled back and he was met with Phil’s tearstained face but there was a spark in the crown prince’s eyes.

“He killed my dad, Dan. He…”

“I know, Phil. But we will get him, okay? I promise that he will pay for what he’s done to this kingdom and to your family.”

Phil let out a shaky laugh.

“You don’t like promises.”

Dan felt something flutter in his chest as he smiled, just a smidgen. “I do not like promises that cannot be kept. And I do not make promises that I do not intend to keep. The King has had this coming for a long time. He will not be able to walk away from this one. He will be held responsible for his actions. We will find a way to make it happen.”

Phil was looking at him with his big blue eyes and tears in the edge of them. Dan leaned forward to lock their lips in their most tender kiss yet. He could feel the moisture on Phil’s lips but he did not care.

It was an act of reassuring Phil, just like he did when he squeezed his hand or pulled him into a hug.

“You really think that?” Phil asked with a croaky voice as Dan pulled back.

“Yes,” Dan said without a beat of hesitation.

“We have to be careful about it,” Phil said.

“Of course,” Dan agreed. Even if some small part of him just wanted to waltz up to the King and hit him over the head with something heavy that would knock him out for good.

“I have to go tell Mum. And Martyn. They have to know,” Phil said after a moment of silence. “How can I tell them, Dan? What if they don’t believe me?”

“Phil,” Dan said and called Phil’s attention back to him from where he had been staring at the attic door. “They will believe you. They are your family. But it’s okay to be scared to tell them. I was scared to tell you.”

“What? You didn’t think that I wouldn’t believe you, right? Dan, I would never…”

“I know, Phil. I know you’d believe me but I didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you.”

“I’m glad it was you,” Phil said and Dan frowned in confusion. “I wouldn’t want anyone other than someone who cared about me telling me something so horrible and personal.”

“I’m sure your family will feel the same,” Dan said to comfort Phil.

They stayed in each other’s embrace for a little while longer until Phil reluctantly got to his feet. Dan followed him all the way to the door, hands still on Phil’s side and he really did not want to see Phil walk out of that door any more than Phil wanted to leave.

But Dan knew that it had to be done. The other two Lesters had to be told and Phil couldn’t hide around in the attic, he had already been gone for a long time and it might arise suspicion.

“Don’t you dare be gone when I come back,” Phil said, probably more to the universe than to Dan.

Yet Dan was the one who answered.

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving you.”

Phil took a steadying breath before pulling the door open.

“Daisy said she wanted to stop by and see you later and I’ll be back as soon as I can, Dan.”

“I know you will, Phil. Go talk to your family and remember that I’m right there with you. Err, metaphorically at least.”

There was a slight tilt of Phil’s lip, as much of a smile as he could probably muster after such terrible news.

“I know, Dan. You’re always right next to me,” Phil said and touched his chest a little to the left where his heart would reside beneath.

With that Phil closed the door and left and Dan was left with the feeling of standing with his beating heart in his hand. He loved Phil so much, even if he had never said it out loud. He knew he would need to.

Phil had to hear it.

But for now, it had to be enough with action speaking instead of words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, the title of this chapter was one of the potential titles for the story as a whole. And man, this chapter pulls at my heart strings. I have missed writing the boys just engaging the two of them in private and I adore the scene where Dan assures Phil that he has permission to touch him, not because of the law but because Dan gives him permission. And poor Phil for having to learn that his uncle killed his father - no one should ever have to hear something as horribly as that. And I hope you liked the bit of fluff even if there's still angst in here too. Dan is so hesitant to tell Phil because he want them to be allowed a moment of peace and happiness but they have things to be done and a King to conquer. 
> 
> Also, I am still (barely) managing to meet my schedule, so the next update will be up on time, which is in a week on Saturday the 17th of March 2018. Usual upload time 8 PM CET. However, positive writing vibes are still very much appreciated!


	33. Unveiling Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil dreaded telling his family about what had truly been his father's demise and meanwhile Dan was visited by Daisy and Princess Elena. Everyone realise that they need evidence to prove the King's guilt, so a group of them seek out Daisy's father.

Phil wasn’t sure how Dan had been able to tell him, because at present moment he felt like he would vomit the moment he saw either his mother or Martyn. They had all known that the King was a bad man but Phil would never have imagined that he was willing to go to these kinds of lengths.

He wasn’t even sure why he had wanted Phil and Martyn’s father dead but Phil did know the King well enough to know that it had to be connected somehow and that the timing hardly could be a coincidence. So much had happened over the past eight months since Dan had come into Phil’s life and Phil couldn’t help that was when everything had started entering a new phase of his uncle’s games.

He had largely ignored Phil up until that point, if only to say some snide remark at dinner but back then when Phil stumbled into the Grand Hall by accident, the King had pounced on Phil and insisted on pulling him into the dark underbelly that Phil had adamantly stayed away from all of his life.

Bringing Dan into Phil’s life had been a chess move, even if Phil was fairly certain that his uncle hadn’t foreseen the consequences accurately.

Supposedly having his own brother had been murdered was a calculated chess move too and that notion made Phil sick to his very core.

He could hardly keep a straight face when he asked the first housemaid he passed if they could please send Martyn and Cornelia to his mother’s chambers immediately. He knew that his mother still hadn’t returned to her usual princess duties and instead, she was allowed to grieve the loss of her husband. And Phil wanted Cornelia there for Martyn just like everyone had allowed Dan to stay beside him during the grieving ceremony.

He wanted Dan with him now too but it was too risky for Dan to move around in the castle more than absolutely necessary.

Phil hated that he would have to rip up all of their still-healing wounds and make everything even worse but he didn’t have much of a choice. They needed to know just how horrible the man wearing the throne truly was and it was not Phil’s place to protect them from it.

Still, he paced back and forth a bit in front of her door.

“Child, I can hear you pacing out there,” called her voice through the door, just like she had done so often. Phil felt a lump in his throat, as he carefully opened the door.

He hadn’t really wanted to go in before Martyn and Cornelia got here but now he had little choice.

His mother looked tired. She was still beautiful and she radiated warmth somehow and Phil moved up to her and pulled her into a hug without saying any words. Her motherly embrace was almost enough to have him weeping.

“Martyn told me you got Dan back,” she said, worry in her voice. “Did something happen to him again?”

“No,” Phil said and shook his head and pulled out of the embrace.

“Then why are you upset, darling?”

“I… I’ll tell you in a moment, I promise. But it’s not about Dan. He’s good,” Phil said and he could feel just how the mention of Dan brought a little smile to his lips. It was only a second of reprieve though because he was still all too aware of the monumental task ahead of him. He wished that Martyn and Cornelia would arrive, so he could get it over with.

“Wonderful news. Back to playing the piano in no time, I expect.”

Phil frowned at his mother’s words. How could she know? Had Martyn let it slip that Dan sometimes sat at the piano when he’d come by to see them before he got married? Phil thought that they had implicitly agreed that Martyn hadn’t seen that. And Phil was sure that Martyn had never actually seen Dan play in the library.

“What?”

“Oh, Phil. You are the sweetest boy sometimes. I know that Dan plays on your grandmother’s piano. How could I not after I heard him play it with such ease?”

That just made Phil even more confused.

“When did you see him play?”

“At Martyn’s engagement ball, dear.”

At Martyn’s…

The masquerade ball, the ball where Dan had been hired as the pianist but no one had known that had been him. He had been wearing a mask to conceal his identity.

“You knew?” Phil asked and his voice turned squeaky.

His mother offered him that very motherly smile and knowing motherly gaze.

“Son, you asked if you could hire this obscure pianist that none of us had heard of. I allowed it because I wanted to see what you would do. And then you spent the whole evening looking in his direction. I might be getting older, Phil, but I am not blind. A mask and straightened hair does not hide his identity very well.”

“Why did you never say anything?”

“It did not matter, Phil. You were happy. Initially, I was worried about your safety but like I told you before, I was wrong about Dan. He is a wonderful man and I can see how much you care for him. Your father knew as well. As do Martyn and Cornelia, I expect.”

His father…

“Dad knew?” Phil asked and his breath hitched.

“He did. He wanted you to be happy, even if he also wanted you to fulfil your royal obligations. He hated that he had to look for princesses for you, when he wondered if you had already found the one you wanted to spend your life with.”

Phil sniffled and felt wetness on his cheeks. How was he ever going to be able to tell her?

That moment the doors opened and Cornelia and Martyn walked in. They both looked thrown from Phil’s sad expression and Martyn rushed to his side.

“Did something happen to Dan? Do we need to…”

“No,” Phil said and waved his hand back and forth. “Dan’s okay. I didn’t ask you to come here because of him. More because of something he was told. Something that the King told him when he was beating the shit out of him.”

Phil clenched his fists and he wondered why his mother didn’t tell him off for using a swear word.

“We need to sit down,” Phil said. The four of them sat down, as Phil forced out the horrible words.

They had a very similar reaction to what Phil had experienced less than an hour ago and not for one moment did any of them call into question Dan’s word. They trusted Phil and by extension they trusted those who Phil trusted and Phil trusted Dan with his entire being.

It felt good to hold onto his mother, brother and sister-in-law and have another cry at the unfairness of the world. Phil needed to stop trying to keep people at arm’s length, especially his friends or family.

He should be able to allow himself to break in front of his loved ones. He didn’t need to be strong all the time and never have a single crack in his amour. Dan had taught him that it was okay to be broken. It didn’t mean that you weren’t strong or capable.

Letting people in was not a weakness. It was one of the greatest strengths and you would gain more than you could ever know. And right now, Phil was so thankful that he could just hold onto his family and share the grief that they had all tried to carry on their own and never let the others see just how deeply the loss of their father and husband had hurt them.

~*~

Dan was already getting restless in the little attic room. He had the keyboard but he didn’t dare to play it, worried if someone might overhear even the softest tunes and it would give away his position, even if this attic room door was practically invisible if you didn’t know what to look for.

He tried to just sit in the windowsill and watch the garden from here but it was a different angle from the chambers that he had shared with Phil and he couldn’t see the fountain and let the predictable pattern of the water steal his focus.

He was still tired and his body ached. He let his fingers bump over the ridges of the stitches that sat in the back of his neck. He was officially untethered. No one would be able to pull up his position if just they had the ID number of his GPS chip. Sean had marked him as deceased.

Daniel James Howell was officially dead.

But Dan felt more alive than he had been in years. He was back with Phil and he could sense the change in the air. Sean had been right about a confrontation being imminent.

Dan had meant his promise. The King would pay for all the bad things that he had done. Whether that would be with his life or being banished or imprisoned, Dan couldn’t care less. He was willing to stand by whatever decision Phil made.

This was Phil’s call and while Phil might not believe it himself, he was good at making the right decisions.

There was a knock on the door and Dan turned away from the window and every part of his body tensed. The door started moving, swinging open and Dan only relaxed when he saw the familiar kitchen apron.

“Daisy, you gave me a heart attack!” Dan whisper yelled as the kitchen maid made her way across the small space with rapid steps and pulled Dan into a big hug.

“I missed you too, dork.”

Dan looked up to see that Daisy had not come alone. Princess Elena had been behind her and now she was carefully closing the door. Dan felt a little more on edge with her in the room, but only because he had met her all of one time and potentially because of the jealousy that he was ashamed had overtaken him when he had seen her with Phil.

He knew from just their one conversation that she was the loveliest human being.

“Princess Elena,” Dan said and did a slight bow of his head.

He hated when you had to show respect to those above you but the likes of Phil and Elena were individuals who deserved to be greeted with respect, but because of their actions and not their titles. Dan knew nothing much about royal politics but he was pretty sure saying no to an engagement and then saying yes but not intending to actually marry them might be problematic.

“Dan, you can just call me Elena,” she replied. “And I’m happy to see you again. I wondered if we would ever be able to find you but Phil was ever resilient.”

“Phil is a stubborn bugger. It did us good this time,” Daisy said and gave Dan another squeeze before letting him go. “You look good for someone who must have a death wish to speak back to the King.”

“He deserved it.”

“Oh, of that I have no doubt,” Daisy told him. “But I know few men who would be willing to do what you did. You are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.”

“Probably a mixture of both,” Dan said with a chuckle. He had missed Daisy more than he had realised. He reached over and ruffled her hair slightly.

“I’ll say,” Daisy said and shoved him away. She accidentally grazed one of his old bruises but he kept the grimace at bay so she couldn’t tell.

“Elena,” Dan said and locked eyes with the princess. “I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for Phil. I don’t know anything about royal politics but I know the King well enough that he would have found some horrible princess for Phil to marry if you had not stepped in. It’s only because of you that Phil was able to look for me, right?”

The fair Elena actually blushed and she looked utterly adorable.

“He asked for my help, Dan. Phil is a good man. I would have regretted it all of my life, if I did not help him find you in any way I could. Seeing what the two of you had found together, despite the worst circumstances, made be believe love again.”

Dan had not expected to hear that. He wasn’t sure what to do, so instead he moved across the room and carefully pulled Elena into a hug. He made his movements slow enough that she could wave him off any moment but instead she stepped forward into his arms.

Dan had been kissing his land’s crown prince and now he was hugging a foreign princess. He would never get used to this odd life that he had been thrust into.

“I mean it, Elena. Thank you,” Dan said as he pulled away.

“I can tell, Dan. And I will say it again, I only did what I thought was right. Phil is facing a very immense battle with his uncle. It is paramount that he wins it for the future of this kingdom and its people. I will be by his side.”

“You would have made a great queen,” Dan commented and he wondered if things would have been different if he had never been bought by the man from the castle and ended up as Phil’s personal servant.

Would Phil’s father still have put Elena forward and would Phil have fallen in love with her if Dan hadn’t been in the picture? Had he been messing things up for the future of the kingdom? However, Elena must have been able to see the doubt because she reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder and spoke to reassure him.

“Perhaps, a good queen to the people, Dan, but I could never be what you are to their future King. You and Phil have something special. Nothing would be able to compete with that.”

“I second that,” Daisy said. “I’ve known Phil practically since he could walk and I’ve never seen him act like he does around you. He used to be scared of his own shadow, always bit his tongue in every situation, never allowed anyone to know what he thought or felt or what he believed in. He’s different now. Braver. Stronger. He’s turning into the amazing leader that I’ve known he could be for years but he has always doubted. That’s your influence, Dan.”

Dan wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Had he really changed Phil as much as Phil had changed him?

Dan didn’t doubt for a second that Phil had been strong and brave before they had met but Daisy was right that the Phil that Dan had seen stumble into the Grand Hall on that fateful day was very different from the man who had just left the attic room to tell his family that the King had poisoned their beloved family member.

The old Phil had cowered before his uncle and present day Phil has been gearing up to challenge him for longer than perhaps anyone realised, even himself.

“Anyway, don’t let that get to your head. It’s big enough already,” Daisy said. “But we just wanted to drop by to say hello. I’m sure we’ll be by again to plan how the fuck we’re going to deal with finding a legitimate reason to overthrow the King…”

“We might have one,” Dan said and Daisy crooked an eyebrow.

It might be the one good thing that had come out of this whole terrible situation about the poison. The King had killed the Crown Prince and Dan was fairly certain that there had to be a law against that somewhere, since this kingdom wasn’t as barbaric as Sean’s kingdom apparently was.

Dan was pretty sure that Phil wouldn’t mind that he told Daisy and Elena, so he did.

Both of them were absolutely horrified, though they had different reactions. Elena more quietly disturbed while Daisy was threatening to slip poison into the King’s food.

“We have to find out what kind of poison it was. I’ll get Phil and talk to my father. I know he took several samples from the late crown prince when he was getting rapidly worse. He might not have thrown those out yet. We’ll need some evidence as your word isn’t enough, Dan.”

Dan nodded in understanding but Elena looked confused.

“What do you mean? Dan heard the King tell him himself, correct? That should be enough.”

Dan and Daisy exchanged a glance.

“Unfortunately, it is not. A personal servant’s word technically counts for nothing. Anything Dan says won’t be evidence in the slightest, not even circumstantial evidence.”

“That is so _wrong_ ,” Elena said and she looked so angry but the kind of reserved angry that Dan had learnt to spot in Phil. They never allowed their true opinions to be known but you could see how they felt by paying close attention.

“It is,” Dan agreed. “But unfortunately it is the situation until we can get another monarch on that throne. So it’s definitely a good idea to reach out to your father, Daisy. Phil has just gone to tell his mother, Martyn and Cornelia about everything. I’m sure you can find him after that.”

“Okay,” Daisy said. “I’ll do that. We need to get on this as fast as possible. We’re guessing that the King doesn’t know that you’re gone yet but it’s only a matter of time before he finds out and if we had evidence to throw him from the throne then it would be a much better altercation.”

Dan nodded in agreement and followed the two ladies to the door.

“Thank you for stopping by. And keep me in the loop? I’m already going crazy up here.”

“Of course, Dan,” Elena promised. “As often as we can. Stay strong.”

Dan nodded and saw them out. The little attic room turned awfully quiet again and he went back to his spot by the window as he pondered how they were going to do all of this.

The King had been playing this game with them for months, maybe even years before Dan came into the picture, and he was having trouble figuring out where all the pieces fit together.

One important detail still wasn’t discovered. Who had administered the poison to Phil’s father? It hadn’t been the King, at least it hadn’t seemed so by the way he had phrased his sentence. So who had it been?

~*~

Phil wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the four-way embrace. He knew it must have lasted a while but at the same time he felt like it was over all too quickly.

“I’ll kill him,” Martyn muttered as he got to his feet. Cornelia frowned, clearly concerned, and put a reassuring hand on her husband’s shoulder.

“You will do no such thing,” she said and Phil was very happy that her snappy tone wasn’t turned towards him. She was a tough cookie.

“Cornelia is correct, Martyn,” their mother chimed in. “You will not snoop to his level. We don’t kill family, even family who might deserve it.”

“How can you say that?” Martyn shouted and shook off Cornelia’s grip. “He poisoned Dad! His own brother. How can you be so calm? Any of you!”

Phil understood his older brother’s frustration and Martyn had always had more of a temper than Phil did. Phil had just cried and held onto Dan until the world had stopped spinning so fast that he knew he would be knocked down if he tried to move. He had waiting and as per Dan’s instructions, he had remembered to breathe.

However, he had a feeling that Martyn wouldn’t appreciate that advice right now. He was practically fuming.

“Because it is what we do,” Catherine said and there was her regal tone that seemed to instantly deflate Martyn a bit. “It is what your father taught you. It’s what he taught me when I joined the royal ranks without having grown up in them. You cannot fight violence with more violence. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. We fight with honour instead. And your uncle has violated one of our laws. No regicide and in our law that extends to the royal family and not just the monarch. He will have to give up the throne whether he wants to or not.”

Martyn snorted but he looked remorseful now. “I doubt he’ll let go of it easily.”

“Of course, he will not,” Cornelia said. “I do not know the man like you three do but I have seen my fair share of power-hungry men. They dig their hands into the treasure chest and you will have to pry the power from their hands. We need evidence.”

“Yes. Unfortunately, Dan’s word will not count for anything. We need more tangible evidence and ideally another witness,” their mother said.

Phil felt rage in the bit of his stomach. It was such a sad reality that the words that Dan had heard from the King himself wouldn’t be good enough. Legally, nothing Dan would say should be taken seriously. If Phil ever took on the throne, then his first order of business would be ripping that law apart at the seams and make sure something like it could never be made again.

There was a low knock on the door and they all turned to face it.

“Who is it?” Catherine called out.

“Daisy, miss. From the kitchen.”

Phil wasn’t sure what she was doing here. She tended to avoid the royal chambers, other than Phil’s obviously. She had a tendency to get awkward around other royals, even the Lesters because of the class difference.

She didn’t need to though and Phil and Martyn’s mother’s reaction showed why.

“Daisy, dear, please do come in.”

Phil knew that his mother adored Daisy and she had grown rather close to her father as well as he had been in a lot of contact with her and her late husband.

Daisy curtsied after she closed the door behind her and Phil could see that the act caused her physical discomfort. To his surprise though, his mother did a curtsey in return and prompted Martyn, Phil and Cornelia to follow suit by instinct. Daisy looked even more awkward now.

“I am sorry to interrupt but considering time is limited before Dan’s breakout will be discovered, I thought we should get moving as soon as possible. Did you tell them?” Daisy asked Phil directly.

“I did,” Phil confirmed but he wasn’t sure how Daisy seemed to know.

“Dan told me what happened too. Phil, I would like you to come with me to my father to talk to him about the tests my father took before yours passed. If he knows to look for poison then he might discover some evidence.”

“Excellent idea,” Martyn said before Phil got a word out. “I’ll come too. Corn?”

“Of course,” Cornelia replied and interlinked her fingers with her husband.

“I will remain here,” Catherine said. “It would arose too much suspension of I suddenly leave my chambers. But do go, children. Find out what happened to him. The best way to honour him is to make sure that the King’s reign is over.”

Phil nodded and the next moment Daisy, Martyn and Cornelia moved toward the door. Phil couldn’t help but linger a little at his mother’s side.

“Will you be okay here on your own?” Phil asked in a whisper.

His beautiful mother steeled her saddened expression and Phil saw her sheer strength. She had just learnt that her late husband had been murdered and yet she was somehow holding it together. Phil would normally have called it admirable but he worried that it meant that she forgot to address the feelings.

“My sweet boy, I will be fine. I am never truly alone. Your father is here with me in spirit. I have known him for too long and too well for me to ever lose him. I feel his presence in my heart and I can hear his words in my head. Go talk to Doctor Day with your brother and your friends.”

Phil swallowed the lump in his throat and then followed the others out the door. His mother’s words lingered in his mind as the four of them made their way towards the private practice just outside of the castle but within the courtyard.

His mother still felt his father’s presence next to her. It reminded Phil eerily of how he felt Dan everywhere, even when he had been gone for nearly three weeks. Something would happen and Phil would know exactly what Dan would have said. Phil would have been feeling scared and sad and he would have imagined what it would have been like to have Dan take his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

There had been no chance of Phil ever giving up looking for Dan because Dan had been all that his thoughts had been consumed by.

It didn’t take a long time for them to reach Doctor Day’s little house but the good doctor was very surprised to find three royals and his daughter suddenly on his doorstep.

Phil had always liked Doctor Day. He was a kind and intelligent man who had always opened his home to Phil growing up. Phil had loved to come here and just get away from his royal responsibilities for a while. With just him and Daisy here, he felt like a normal kid and not someone being groomed to potentially take over the throne.

“Hello,” the doctor said and readjusted his glasses. “What brings you all here?”

“I think we better come in and sit down,” Phil suggested. “If you have the time?”

“He does,” Daisy said without hesitation. Her father was about to open his mouth and argue but she spoke again before he could. “You have time for this, Dad. Trust me. It’s immensely important.”

Doctor Day seemed to gauge the gravity of the situation and he invited them into his consultancy room where they took seats around the table. As a true host, there were already crackers out on the table and he quickly put the kettle on to make tea.

“I must admit this visit unsettles me a little. Is one of you ill?” he asked.

Daisy looked directly at Phil. Phil wasn’t sure he would survive telling the tale again but he knew that logically it was the best option as he had heard it directly from Dan who had heard it from the King.

“The late Crown Prince, our father,” Phil said and indicated Martyn and himself, “he did not die from his illness. He was poisoned. By the King.”

Silence befell the room and the doctor took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. When he put them back on, he used that voice that Phil hated. It was the bad news voice and it was the voice Doctor Day had used when Phil had been told about his father’s condition when he was just a young boy. It had taken him months to like Doctor Day again after that.

“I’m so sorry. I thought… I should have run different tests. I just didn’t think…”

“Hey,” Phil interrupted. “You can’t blame yourself. None of us thought that he would go that far. This isn’t on you.”

“He was my patient. He was your father. I promised to look after him as best as I possibly could and now you’re telling me that he was poisoned.”

“Doctor Day, as Phil said, this isn’t on you. We don’t blame you. Our father wouldn’t either. You know that. But we need your help,” Martyn said.

“Yeah,” Phil continued. “Daisy said you took several samples and ran tests when his health started deteriorating. We were wondering if you could do some tests for common types of poison that wouldn’t show up in routine tests?”

Doctor Day was on his feet in an instance and told them to follow him into his office, tea and crackers forgotten. Once there he started rummaging through his medical bag and pulling out several containers.

Daisy seemed to know how her father worked because she took to helping out instinctively. Phil wanted to offer his help too but he worried that he might cause more damage than assistance.

“I don’t understand how this can be real,” Cornelia said, her voice low. “I mean. His own brother. I have many brothers at home and sure, I butted heads with them before and when we were younger we got into fights but… they are family, you know?”

“Yeah, we’ve always had a weird family,” Martyn said and pulled Cornelia to his chest.

“I agree with Cornelia,” Phil said. “I almost can’t believe it. Just the mere thought of say… punching Martyn would make me feel so guilty.”

“But you were raised very differently from how your father and uncle were raised, Phil,” Doctor Day said.

“What do you mean?” Phil asked.

The doctor still kept rummaging through his bag but he spoke as well. “You know that I grew up here in the castle as well. My father used to be a stable hand when he was a young boy and later he was in charge of the stables entirely. I watched from a distance as your uncle and father grew up.”

Phil recalled Daisy’s grandfather and how the old man had tried to make Phil like horses when he was just a young boy. It had never worked but he remembered the old patient man that all the horses would whinny when he came near.

“You knew them?” Martyn asked in surprise.

Obviously, they had known that Doctor Day had been their father’s physician for many years and they had gotten close like that but none of them had ever considered the fact that they had almost grown up together.

“As much as the son of a stable hand could know the royal princes. But I helped out a lot with odd jobs around the stables and I saw how the pair of brothers trained against each other. I don’t mean to speak ill of your grandparents. They were wonderful people. Your grandfather was an artist and a sculptor and his pieces always managed to evoke such emotion in people. Most notable of his work are probably the figurines on top of the fountain in the garden. And your grandmother could play a piano like none other and the whole world stood still when she created music. They were good people and they cared deeply about their people but they had a slight tendency to favour their youngest. It wasn’t on purpose at all but because of your father’s illness they always spent more time with him. Your uncle felt grossly overlooked. So he acted out. He demanded attention in any way he could.”

The doctor stopped speaking as he found what he looked for and picked up the sample and took it over to his microscope.

Phil had never heard about this favouritism. He could hardly imagine that his loving and kind grandparents could have made their oldest son jealous and craving attention. It was unsettling to know that the King might have taken to acting out and commanding attention and power because he had grown up feeling overlooked.

“But what does that have to do with anything? It wasn’t our grandparents’ fault,” Martyn said and crossed his arms, clearly sounding as defensive as Phil felt.

“I’m not saying that,” Doctor Day assured them as he slotted the slide under the microscope. “They had to spend more time with your father. He needed almost constant attention until they found a medicine that could keep him fairly stable. But I’m afraid your uncle didn’t appreciate it. I was watching him ride at a prestigious tournament one time when I was a teenager and his father had been watching but he had to rush back to the castle when his youngest son had a relapse. I took care of your uncle’s horse and I remember being terrified by the rage in his eye when he won and his father had missed it. I’ll never forget what he told me then: When I have children, I will be a better father and I’ll make sure none of them ever feel forgotten.”

Phil’s whole body tensed. Children. Being a father. The mere prospect of his uncle having children sent chills down Phil’s spine. But he also tensed because he felt sympathy for his uncle, who had been unable to father a child. On some level, Phil had thought he was just pissed because he couldn’t produce a blood heir and he would have to give up the throne to his brother’s children but perhaps it hadn’t been as simple as that.

“That’s bullshit,” Martyn said, still with his arms crossed. “He would have been a terrible father. He’s a terrible man.”

Doctor Day let out a sigh and got ready to use the microscope. “I cannot say. But he was a different man in his twenties than the man you have seen. He wanted children so desperately and I know because I remembering scanning his lovers for pregnancy and he was always furious when there was no foetus. I can’t say for now but back then, he wanted so desperately to be a father. But he couldn’t and instead he witnessed his brother marry a woman they both desired and she bore him two tall and strong sons. I would suspect that was the moment he started hating the two of you. You were a symbol of what he wanted. The brother that had always gotten the lion’s share of their parents attention fathered sons when he himself couldn’t.”

Martyn deflated a little at that and Cornelia was by his side again, arm around his waist and she leaned into him as to give him strength. Daisy likewise went to Phil and took his hand and squeezed it just hard enough that Phil felt tethered to the present moment.

Phil had never known any of this. He hadn’t known that his grandparents had seemingly favoured their youngest son at the expense of their oldest son. He didn’t know that the King had wanted to be a father to correct the mistakes he had seen in his parents’ way.

“It’s not an excuse for how he has behaved. I don’t care if he thinks that his childhood was rough or he wasn’t able to father children. It’s no excuse for enslaving people and killing his brother.”

“I am by no means insinuating that, Prince Martyn,” Doctor Day replied. “I am merely stating how he might have been capable of taking his own brother’s life. His resentment has only grown over the years, as has his thirst for power. And it is…”

Doctor Day froze with his movements as he was staring into the microscope.

“What is it?” Daisy asked, ever impatient.

“I know what killed him,” Doctor Day said, voice slightly trembling. And then he was moving, much faster than before, to his cupboard and pulling out different boxes. He paled when he seemingly reached what he had been looking for.

“You’re right that it’s poison but more importantly, it’s poison made from my medical supplies. Someone has been in here and stolen the ingredients to make an almost undetectable poison. It’s something that would not be deadly for someone else but mixed with the medicine that your father was already on, it would have catastrophic effects.”

Phil felt like he had been hit over the head for the second time today. The ingredients to make the poison had been from Doctor Day’s practice? What did that mean? Who might have had access to them?

Doctor Day straightened up. “I don’t think the King was the one who administered the poison, or at least he was not the one who stole it.”

“Do you know who did?” Cornelia asked.

“I think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! A lot of different characters in this one. I've missed Phil's Mum so much and what did you think of that little bit about how they had clearly seen through Dan's disguise at the masquerade. If you go back and re-read that chapter at some point you might even pick up on cues that she knows. I love Elena and she's not in this enough but I was so happy that Dan got a chance to speak to her and thank her. And Doctor Day is properly in the story now! He's been mentioned quite a few times but I don't think he's had an actual scene, so I hope you like him. Lastly, did I manage to shock any of you? Do you have an idea who might have stolen the supplies and administered the poison?
> 
> I have the next chapter pre-written, so the next update will be in a week, on Saturday the 24th of March 2018 with the usual upload time still being 8 PM CET.


	34. Confessions and Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil learns who poisoned his father while Dan gets a surprise visitor in the attic room. Conflict is on the horizon but are they ready to face the possible consequences?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of sexual abuse, from the abuser

It was the absolute last person that Dan had thought would come through the door to the attic room. He had just been minding his own business, pacing in circles and wishing that he could get out of this room when he heard the creak of the door opening.

He briefly wondered if it might be Daisy or Elena who had come back to see him or maybe Phil had wanted to stop in before heading out to find Doctor Day to question him about what kind of poison had killed the late crown prince.

But the girls had knocked before and Dan was pretty sure Phil would knock to alert Dan before he entered. Instead, the door crept open at an agonisingly slow pace but something was triggering Dan’s warning bells and he made it to behind the door before it opened all the way.

His heart was beating too fast and he wondered if he was being foolish and he was about to jump Phil and scare him by accident but when he saw the black attire, he was very thankful that he had taken the repercussions, even if this situation was far from ideal.

None other than Rex, famously second in line to the throne, crept into the room on silent feet and with a blade drawn. However, he had not spotted Dan hiding behind the door and he was entirely surprised when Dan jumped him.

Dan counted himself lucky for the element of surprise and the fury he felt in his veins because he wasn’t sure he would have been able to overpower Rex with his weakened body otherwise. But as luck would have it, Dan managed to knock Rex over by swinging the door right into him, which also sent the knife flying and Dan managed to snatch it up before Rex had even found his footing.

It was more instinct than anything else, when Dan pressed Rex up the wall with the blade held close to his throat. Adrenalin was pumping through his system and he could hear the blood rushing past his ears and he could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest. But he had the upper hand and Rex blinked several times to orient himself. The door had caught his head and it was evident that he had taken quite the hit. When his eyes seemed to focus and they locked onto Dan, Rex actually looked scared.

He tried to struggle but once he felt the sharp edge pressed into the soft skin on his throat, he stood very still.

“This didn’t go according to plan,” he muttered and Dan almost wanted to laugh.

“What? You wanted to slit my throat in my sleep?” Dan asked.

Rex’s brows furrowed and he glared daggers at Dan. Normally, such a gaze would have made Dan feel tense and vulnerable but he had faced off against the King and the bearded man, who had abused him for nearly a year. He could handle a lord that had been promoted to royalty based on the King’s meddling. Someone like Rex was peanuts compared to what Dan had handled lately.

“The knife was a precaution,” Rex said through gridded teeth.

“And now it’s turned against you,” Dan said and he couldn’t help but feel a little smug.

A part of him wondered what it would be like to let the knife slide across and watch as Rex choked and died. He was a bad man. Dan didn’t know what he’d done to Amanda but he knew it couldn’t be good. And he was probably in cahoots with the King somehow.

However, thinking about killing someone and actually taking a life were two very different things. Dan didn’t have any blood on his hands, not like that, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted it.

He wasn’t sure if Phil would still want him, if Dan were capable of murder. And Dan wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle the repercussions himself. He wasn’t sure how to face himself in the mirror if he took a life unless it was absolutely necessary.

“I can see that. What do you plan on doing with that, pretty boy?” Rex taunted.

“What are you doing here?” Dan said and glared daggers in Rex’s direction, as he pushed the blade a little closer to Rex’s skin.

“I saw Princess Elena and Daisy disappear together. I figured that it required a little investigation and then I heard that _you_ had disappeared from that hospital-like place and I put two and two together. Though you surprised me, Dan. Not many people get the jump on me.”

If Rex had heard that Dan had escaped, then the King surely knew as well. Dan suddenly felt very unwell and he wanted to sit down but that wasn’t really an option right now. But he needed to tell Phil. Phil needed to know that the King had already figured it out. He could be in danger.

“People underestimate me,” Dan hissed.

“No doubt about that. You and Phil have that in common,” Rex said.

Dan didn’t like hearing Phil’s name on Rex’s lips at all. He physically shuddered.

“What do you mean?”

“Aren’t you smart enough to figure that out, Dan?” Rex asked.

Rex was way too smug for someone being held with a blade against his throat. Dan had his arm against Rex’ chest and he pressed the prince further against the wall.

“Start talking or I swear to some heavenly power, I will cut you, Rex. For the abuse you have done to Amanda, for the torments you have brought Phil, for meddling and siding with the King. Don’t test me.”

Rex seemed at least a little unsettled at that.

“You do what the King ask of you, Dan. You always have to do what the powerful tell you, whether you’re a personal servant or not. Our world is built on hierarchy.”

“It doesn’t have to be and you still have to make your own decisions.”

“Oh, I’m well aware of that. And that’s why I’m here. The King will lose. I see how people look at Phil. I doubt he even notices himself but at every function with lords and ladies or with the common people, people look to him and hang on his every word – no matter how few those words are. The King underestimated how strong Phil is and because of that he will lose. With Phil, everyone is being reminded what things could be like and the prince barely opens his mouth.”

“So what? You want to be on our side now? Fat chance,” Dan snarled.

“How do you think Phil found you? Huh? Did he tell you? Oh, poor little Amanda gathering up the courage to defy her evil enslaver and bring vital information to Phil. I was actually doubtful if she’d be capable of turning on me but it only further proved Phil’s influence on people. But I still can’t believe Phil believed it so easily. I didn’t _accidentally_ tell her where you would be. It was on purpose. A calculated move.”

Dan almost bleached. Phil hadn’t mentioned that Amanda had helped him find where Dan was located. In the moment, Dan had cared a lot less about the how and more about being in Phil’s arms and making sure he would stay there. But he could tell that Rex was telling the truth, no matter how much it pained him. And he didn’t like at all how much Rex talked like the King, calculating moves and playing chess.

“You’re no better than the King, Rex. Why should we ever believe that you helped us? And why? Out of the goodness of your heart?” Dan asked and barked out a short sarcastic laugh.

“No, that sappiness is for idiots like you and Phil. I’m looking out for my own skin. The King will fall sooner or later. He’s been losing his grip on the public for years and more so in the last nine months. With his brother’s death and how he handled that, people lost more even respect for him.”

“No one ever respected him to begin with,” Dan countered.

“Perhaps not but they interchanged respect with fear. And he is not as scary as he used to be. Not when you have a young crown prince with a bright smile and kind eyes; the kind of King that would do everything to protect them. They know. They sense the change in the air, as does the King. When a personal servant stood up to him, I think he realised just how far he’s fallen.”

Dan wasn’t sure how to process any of this. Just this morning he had woken up at Miss Sana’s, cuffed to the bed and wondering if he would ever get out of there. Then Phil had come and it had been lovely but there had been the secret to share and then he had to wait for Phil to work things out. Now he had none other than the second in line to the throne with a blade against his throat. And that royal was telling him that he wanted to switch sides and that the King was scared because _Dan_ had stood up to him.

It was just an act of defiance, one that had nearly cost him his life but he was still just one person. But he supposed that he represented what Phil was capable of. When they had first met, Dan had worried that he was a project to be fixed. Phil had never seen him that way but somewhere along the way, Phil had still taught him to find strength in his brokenness and how to hold onto his spark of defiance.

Rex was right. Phil was dangerous in that sense. What he represented was dangerous to the tyrannous rule of the current King. Still, he didn’t want to trust Rex at all. He needed to discuss this with Phil.

~*~

Phil, Martyn, Cornelia and Daisy all stared at Doctor Day.

“Who, Dad?” Daisy asked and Phil could tell that she was scared. She probably knew that things might turn bad if the ingredients that poisoned the late crown prince had come from her father’s practice. People might believe that he was the one who did it.

Phil wouldn’t. He had known Doctor Day since he was born and he had seen how the doctor had fought to save his father’s life. Even if the things to make the poison had come from his cabinets, he wouldn’t have been the one to administer it.

“A month or so before your father passed,” Doctor Day stared and took off his glasses and shut his eyes. “Rex was in my practice complaining of migraines. While I was examining him, one of the younger housemaids was rushed in with a broken wrist. Initially, I told Rex to sit while I went out into the waiting room to look at the new arrival. He was alone in here for minutes before I sent my assistant in to tell him to leave and come back another day. He never did come back about his migraines.”

Phil felt sick to his stomach. Rex? The taunting kid who used to throw spitballs at Phil at functions when they were younger? The newly appointed prince who lurked around the halls and stalked them? The man who had taken on a personal servant and took advantage of her?

It probably wasn’t that much of a stretch but to think that he would be willing to retrieve ingredients to create poison to kill the crown prince, Martyn and Phil’s father? Phil had hoped that Rex could be redeemed but this…

“Rex?” Martyn said. “As in that punk who is second in line to the throne? You have to be fucking kidding me. I’m going to find him and drive a sword through his heart.”

Cornelia frowned. “You will do no such thing. You have lost your royalty status and either way, challenging someone to a deadly combat will not solve this and you could lose your life. We have to be smart about this, Martyn.”

“He murdered my _father_ , Cornelia!” Martyn argued and all the emotions were playing on his face.

Phil wished he were as expressive as his older brother. He just went quiet while the turmoil happened inside of him. He didn’t like for people to see the negative sides of him and he had always been better at reining in his emotions. But he wondered if it wouldn’t feel more cathartic to act like Martyn at the moment.

“Do you think he administered the poison too?” Martyn asked Doctor Day.

“I have no way of knowing that, Martyn,” the doctor replied. “But not a lot of people had access to your father’s bedchambers. Only family members, myself and the main housekeeper but I very much doubt that she would have done it. I know she has turned down bribes from the King before.”

“Did Rex count as family?” Daisy asked. “He is technically a distant cousin.”

“I suppose the guards would have let him in. Yes, we can try to ask them.”

“Oh, you bet that I’ll go ask them,” Martyn said and made his way towards the door.

“Martyn, talk to Sean or Florian. They can find out who was on the schedule the days up until Dad got… worse,” Phil said and his brother halted in the doorway. “Don’t do anything rash.”

Phil had a feeling that Martyn was ready to stop into the guardroom and just accuse them all of letting a murderer into his father’s chambers. To be fair, it seemed increasingly likely that it had happened. Either the guard on duty might have been bribed or they simply thought that Rex as technically family would have been allowed inside.

“Cornelia, please keep him calm,” Phil asked of her as she made to walk after her husband.

“Of course, I will look out for him, Phil. But I will not try to damper his rage. He is entitled to feel it. What you have all been through is terrible. Please let yourself rage, as well. It’s not healthy to keep it all in.”

With those words of wisdom, she disappeared and Phil was alone with Daisy and Doctor Day.

“I’m so sorry, Prince Philip. I should never have let him be alone in here but I got distracted. And I meretriciously label the amounts I use of different ingredients, which is why I can spot the discrepancy now that I was looking for it. Unfortunately, I don’t do inventory often enough to catch it without looking for it.”

“It’s okay,” Phil replied, even if he wasn’t sure what was okay anymore. When had his life become this dark and complicated? He just wanted to pull Dan into an embrace and get lost in the feel and familiar smell of Dan. He needed to go see him.

“Phil, this is terrible but it’s also good. It’s solid evidence. We have missing medical supplies that could act as a poison when mixed with your father’s regular medicine. And if Martyn and Cornelia get one of the guards to confess to letting Rex or maybe the King himself into the room, then we might have what we need to compel him to step down from the throne. If we can just prove that he was responsible for your father’s murder, then he has broken one of the laws and he won’t have any choice in stepping down.”

Daisy was perfectly correct, of course. But Phil had a feeling that the King wasn’t letting go of the throne that easily. They needed as much overwhelming evidence as possible and they needed to present it to the royal and legal advisors, who knew the laws like the back of their hand. They could order the King to relinquish the throne and technically, he would have to do it. Phil just worried how many of them might have been bribed by the King, since it was the official board of advisors and not the little handful that Phil’s parents had picked out to help overturn the decision that stripped Martyn of his claim to the throne because of his marriage to Cornelia.

“I hope so,” Phil said. “Doctor Day, please write a witness statement and bag the ingredients in question, as well as your inventory lists. We’ll need all of that.”

“It’ll be my pleasure, future King.”

Phil had already started turning around and away and he was very thankful that no one could see his face. Doctor Day’s words cut right into him. Future King. If they succeeded in getting the King to step down, then an emergency coronation would take place and the crown would have to be placed on Phil’s head.

He didn’t feel ready for that at all but it wasn’t something to worry about right now. They needed to act. The time for contemplating and planning was over. It was only a matter of time before the King discovered that Dan had been rescued.

“Phil,” Daisy called and Phil froze in the door. She had obviously noticed how he had tensed at her father’s address. She was one of his best friends and she knew him very well.

Phil hummed to show that he was listening but he didn’t dare to speak or turn around because he was scared how distorted his voice would sound.

“You are one of the greatest people I know. And I know the throne and the rule scares you but you won’t have to do it alone. Do you hear me? You are never alone, Philip Michael Lester. You have me, you have Dan, you have your family, you have your friends and you have your allies. You will not have to do this alone.”

Even as he felt the wetness on his cheeks, he turned around and bent down to pull Daisy into a hug. She clung to him fiercely as always and he couldn’t even explain how much he had needed to hear those words.

When he had been growing up, he had often felt alone and isolated because everyone that got close to him always did so because of his title. And he felt like he couldn’t be vulnerable in front of his parents and his older brother. But then Daisy had come into his life, a little firestorm of a girl, who couldn’t care less about his prince status, and in her he knew that he had found a friend for life.

“Thank you,” Phil whispered and his voice shook. He caught the eye of Doctor Day over Daisy’s shoulder and he practically glowed with pride. It made the lump in Phil’s throat feel even bigger. It was a look he had been used to seeing on his own father’s face.

He had to be strong, even if he should be careful not to bottle everything up like Cornelia had warned him about and he should remember that he wasn’t alone in this, like Daisy had just reminded him. This was for the good of the kingdom. It was for the good of the people who had lived oppressed for so long. It was for bringing justice to his father’s untimely death.

“Now go see Dan. You need to tell him what we’ve found out and maybe a kiss would do you good,” Daisy said and her voice was warm and teasing and she sounded so normal in the middle of the chaos and Phil appreciated it more than she would ever know.

“I’ll do that.”

~*~

Dan knew he needed time to think and wait for Phil to come by, so he had managed to tie up Rex with some old robe he had located in the corner of the room. Rex was being rather compliant because according to himself, he wanted to prove that he was on their side. Dan wondered more if it wasn’t for the fact that Dan kept a firm grip on the blade that Rex had brought into the attic room.

However, it was more unsettling to have Rex tied to one of the beams, as Dan had to wait, rather than when he was alone. It was even more so because Rex wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

“You do know that it’s a felony to restrain a prince, right?” Rex asked but he didn’t sound angry, he just sounded calculating and like he was trying to wind up Dan.

“And I’m sure threatening to slit one’s throat is one too. Like I give a damn. I’m basically lawless because of being a personal servant. None of what I do is allowed. I have no human rights, so there’s not much more than they can take away from me.”

“Phil,” Rex said. “And your life, but I would wager that you care more about the former.”

Dan groaned out of frustration. “You’re maddening.”

“Thanks, I’ve been called that a lot.”

“I don’t believe for a second that you want to help Phil. It’s undoubtedly all part of some larger plot. You’re a bad person. I’m sure Amanda would agree.”

Rex snickered. “She wouldn’t. I’m gentle and kind towards her. She offers and I don’t decline. You’ve been in the game for a while, Dan. You know those conditions could be a whole lot worse. I could beat her. Force her. She’s got it pretty good.”

“That right there,” Dan said and stormed towards Rex with an extended pointer finger. “That is why you’re a bad guy. I don’t care that objectively she could have had it a lot worse. That is not an excuse. She is trapped and you’re taking advantage of a situation where she feels compelled to offer because of what might happen if she doesn’t.”

“I’d never hit a woman.”

Dan just snorted. “You can do a lot more damage than with your fists.”

“And you’re trying to tell me that you have not been in dear and noble Prince Philip’s bed, huh? That you haven’t been on your knees in front of him and…”

Dan pulled lifted the blade and glared in Rex’s direction. “I dare you to finish that sentence, Rex.”

“Oh, come on. I’m not saying that you couldn’t… _care_ about each other. I was pretty surprised to see Phil’s reaction after he was forced to condemn you to the dungeons. He was devastated and when the King first suggested whiplashes. He looked like he might hurl.”

Whiplashes? Phil had been asked to use a whip on Dan? Dan shuddered. Phil would never allow for that. No wonder he had ended up agreeing to send Dan to the dungeons instead.

“Me and Phil’s relationship is none of your damn business and if I hear one more word of it, then I’m sure you could learn to walk without your little toe.”

It was an empty threat. Dan wasn’t getting anywhere near Rex’s feet but he steeled his expression and the prince looked a little unsure.

Then there was a knock on the door and both of them turned their head. When Phil opened the door carefully, Dan watched as happiness morphed into confusion and then turned into horror in just a few seconds.

Phil stepped in to let the door shut behind him and then he put his hands up over his mouth.

“Phil,” Dan said carefully and took slow steps towards him. “It’s okay, I just had to…”

Before Dan could even finish speaking, Phil had removed the hands from his face and he was looking utterly furious. Dan had never seen such fury on Phil’s face and he halted his steps, as his alarm bells chimed slightly. Phil was never angry, not like this. What the hell was going on?

Phil took a couple of steps forward and wisely Rex kept his mouth shut.

“Why did you do it?” Phil asked.

Rex as looked confused as Dan felt.

“Why did you steal the ingredients to poison my father?”

No.

Had Rex…?

Dan’s grip on the dagger tightened and now he was the one looking furious and glaring at Rex, who shifted his feet nervously.

“I don’t know what…”

Phil didn’t even let Rex finish his sentence and just the notion of Phil interrupting, told Dan just how worked up he was. He hated interrupting people when they were speaking and he only did it when he was emotional, and angry, or perhaps both in this case.

“Cut the crap, Rex. I have talked to Doctor Day. We know you were left alone in his office just days before my father’s condition worsened. Doctor Day also looked at the samples he took from my father and they revealed that the had been poisoned, just like the King told Dan himself, while he was beating him within an inch of his life,” Phil said and the sheer emotion and anguish in Phil’s voice made Dan gulp. “And I have a feeling we will confirm momentarily that you were in my father’s chambers just before he started to get worse. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Dan just watched Phil as he ranted off and stared at Rex. Phil might have been angry but he was still not a violent man and Dan knew he wouldn’t move in to touch the bound Rex at all.

Yet, the words thrown at Rex could do so much damage and Phil was understandable gearing up for a fight.

Dan couldn’t blame him. How could Rex agree to poison the crown prince? Was it part of that “you do what the King asks of you” that he had mentioned earlier? Surely, you would draw the line somewhere.

Rex slumped a bit down at Phil’s accusing.

“Like I told Dan before, I don’t want to side with the King anymore. In fact, I proved that already. Remember how Amanda stopped you during one of your endless pacing sessions outside of my chambers? I had told her the information that led you to Dan on purpose. It wasn’t a slip of the tongue and I awoke when she told you. I didn’t step in because I wanted you to know. I wanted to help get Dan back as a show of loyalty.”

“How could that be?” Phil asked and sounded suspicious. “How do I even know that you’re telling the truth?”

~*~

“Rex said Dan is at a healing place to recover. Those places aren’t common,” Rex said mimicking Amanda’s feminine voice. It wasn’t the exact wording, Phil didn’t think but it was certainly close enough.

Phil felt like cold water washed over him. Rex had allowed Amanda to provide the lead that had helped him find Dan but he had also stolen the ingredients that had poisoned and killed his father and maybe he had even administered them.

“Did you administer the poison?” Phil asked.

Rex gnawed at his lower lip and looked torn.

“If you have any wish that we should believe you and go just a bit easier on you,” Dan said, “then you’re going to tell us everything you did. All the horrible things you did as well. No holding back or we will find out.”

Phil was so thankful for Dan being in the room because he felt horrible facing off against the man who had potentially murdered his father.

Rex sighed and hung his head a little. “I grew up as the son of a lord. You know that, Phil. What you don’t know is that my father hadn’t been born as a nobleman of this kingdom. He was from another one, the so-called kingdom of tyrants, where he had fled and taken on a new identity. One that he killed to get. But it meant that I was born into nobility and he made sure that his choice of wife had ties to the royal family, however distant. I was raised to obey the powerful and I was taught the only way to get power is to play the game and wait for the opportune moment to strike. You do what the powerful say until you’re powerful enough yourself to tell people what to do.”

Phil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had seen Rex’s father at different functions and he was a perceived respectable man. But if Rex was telling the truth, then he was from Sean’s kingdom originally and if anyone had known that then he would have been completely shut out and probably arrested as well.

“That’s not how power works here,” Phil interjected.

“Power is the same everywhere, Phil. I just had a more brutal introduction to it. You wouldn’t expect less from a kingdom where the king has to murder his father or older brother to take the throne. So I grew up desiring to be powerful enough not to be pushed around and when a guard showed up at my home and tried to kill me, I fought back. I found out what he wanted and I offered myself as the successor that the King was seeking. Someone to take the throne since he did not want it to befall either of his… err, weak nephews.”

“You fought the guard?” Dan questioned.

“Yeah, I had to prove myself. That’s what the guard told me and so I did. I suppose that was what the King was looking for in his distant descendants. I hear quite a number of heirs before me met their demise.”

Just when Phil thought he had known all the horrors that his uncle was capable of there was something new just around the corner. It wasn’t fair. Rex’s backstory was intriguing but it still didn’t answer Phil’s question.

“Why did you steal the supplies and did you give the poison to my father, Rex?”

Res clenched his jaw and tugged nervously on his restraints. “Phil, when the King tells you to do something, you do it. No questions asked, especially if you know just how willing he is to see blood spilled. I must admit that I was captivated by his power at first. I want that kind of power for myself. Power over my own life and not having to obey my father.”

“Rex, I swear, answer his question straightforwardly or you’ll regret it,” Dan insisted and his eyes were cold and hard as they were tainted on Rex and listening to his long-winded explanation.

“The King told me to feign illness and get into the doctor’s office and steal just a little amount of three different ingredients. He said he would make sure that I would be left alone in there. I suppose that meant he somehow arranged for that housemaid to break her wrist.”

Phil wouldn’t even be surprised if the King had broken it himself.

“I gave him the ingredients and later, he gave me a little bottle of some liquid. He said to get into his brother’s bedchambers and pour it into the vial on his bedside table.”

Phil knew what that vial was. It was the regular medicine that his father had to take every night before bed. It was the medicine that kept his condition at bay and enabled him to walk almost without support.

And according to Doctor Day, a mix of that medicine and the indigents stolen would prove fatal.

“You murdered my father,” Phil said and his voice just broke. He knew technically Rex had just been the bringer of the King’s orders but in the moment it didn’t matter. He had dried his eyes as he had made his way back from the doctor’s office but now he was crying again.

Dan stepped forward and pulled him into a hug and Phil arms went up around Dan’s neck and he let Dan spin him around, so his face wasn’t visible to Rex. Still, Phil buried his face in the crook of Dan’s neck and just breathed in the familiarity and let himself feel grounded in the feel of Dan’s arms around him.

But as much as Rex’s confession hurt Phil’s soul, he knew it was a good thing. Rex’s word would weigh heavily. It would be enough to convince the royal advisors and force them to dethrone the King along with the evidence from Doctor Day. It would be enough but Phil wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the consequences. But he had to be brave and persevere.

Daisy had been right before. He wasn’t alone. He had so many people at his side. Normally, he would have trouble believing that but with Dan’s arms securely around him, he let himself believe.

He could do this. They could do this. It was time for the King to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! A whole bunch of you had guessed that it would be Rex but did anyone of you guess what his motivation would be? Like with the King, a sad backstory obviously doesn't excuse horrible behaviour but it usually explains a little more. I don't know if you noticed the subtle development with Rex but from the point where he and Phil argue outside of the Grand Hall (right after Dan has been sentenced to the dungeons), Rex started to see Phil in a different view. And props to Dan for actually getting the drop on Rex! I know that not much time has passed in the story but because so many things are happening at the same time, it just turns into a whole lot of words but I hope you liked it and as always, feedback is highly appreciated. 
> 
> And remember how I warned you about running out of pre-written chapters? Next weeks' chapter is like half-way done, so hopefully I can get it written and up on time but no promises. Thankfully, it's Easter next week and I have a little less university stuff going on and fewer work days. I might have been a bit hesitant about writing this last big conflict because I don't feel ready to say goodbye to the characters quite yet. But I'll have to because I have new stories in mind and I need to finish this one and my Undertale one before I can embark fully on my new ideas.


	35. Fight for the Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time to confront the King. Phil had all his allies at his side. He had the evidence to support his claim. However, the King might not be done with his manipulations yet...

Dan would never get used to seeing Phil fall apart but he was getting better at handling it. He knew how to step forward and wrap Phil up in physical reassurance and he knew how to say things that would calm Phil.

Despite their time apart, they were still close and Dan knew how to read Phil at extremes like this, even if he wished for Phil to never look so devastated.

“Phil, it’ll be okay. I know it’s horrible but this will be enough to overthrow the throne. Rex will testify to what he just told us,” Dan said and cast a pointed glare in Rex’s direction. “And it will be proven beyond no doubt that the King had his own his own brother murdered.”

“But Dan, what if we can’t? What if something goes wrong? What if the King has another move to counter us? What if he just remove me from the succession to the throne before I get a word out?” Phil asked and Dan could hear the panic was building up in him. He hugged him a little tighter.

“It won’t. And we are capable of fighting the King. Together, Phil. It’s not just you. It’s your family and your allies. You have us. We will be there for you.”

Dan heard a sniffle escaping Phil.

“That’s what Daisy said as well,” he whispered.

“Great minds think alike,” Dan said and reluctantly pulled back from the embrace. As soon as there was a little space between them, Phil reached up to wipe his nose on his sleeve.

“What if I can’t do it, Dan? Not just confronting my uncle but everything that will come after if we succeed?”

“I’ll gladly take the throne if you abdicate,” Rex unhelpfully offered.

“No,” Phil said sternly and glared at Rex for interrupting their private conversation. “You will stand trail for your crimes, Rex. And I am sure they will disqualify you from ever taking the throne.”

“If you truly mean that you want to be on our side, then you have to give your witness statement. Full disclosure. You will have to be completely honest,” Dan said.

“And if you do that, I’ll be sure that your cooperation is taken into consideration before you get your sentence,” Phil said.

Rex shook his head but it didn’t look like he was disagreeing, more like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.

“You are a peculiar man, Prince Philip. I knew that from the moment I met you when we were just children. You were nothing like the other noblemen’s children or even the other young princes. You never cared for any of it. You just wanted to go home and read your books. I thought you were stupid and weak, as did I when I came here to live at the castle.”

Dan was almost ready to give Rex a verbal smack down for badmouthing Phil but then the bound prince changed his tone.

“But you command power in a different way than most born into this life. It makes everyone underestimate you. I did. I know the King does. I realise I will have to face consequences for my part in your father’s murder. With you at the steering wheel, I know that power or noble birth is no protector.”

“You are right. In my kingdom, everyone will be seen on an equal footing, whether that be the monarch or a former personal servant. One isn’t better than the other.”

“Are you ready for it to be your kingdom?” Rex asked, challenge evident in his voice.

Dan looked to Phil to gauge his reaction.

~*~

Growing up, Phil had always tried to reassure himself that all the preparation to take the throne was just an extra safety precaution. Martyn would be the one to take the throne. Strong and capable Martyn would be a wonderful king to the kingdom. Young Phil had had nothing but admiration for his big brother and how he would shine as the ruler of their land one day.

Then the wedding had happened and it had been announced that Martyn wasn’t eligible to take the throne. Phil still remembered how his brother had pulled him aside and offered to have the marriage annulled, so that he would still hold onto his claim.

Phil had insisted that he didn’t to that. Martyn was happy with Cornelia and Phil never wanted to interfere with his brother’s happiness in any way.

Back then he had freaked out and run out into the garden where he had found Dan waiting and they had shared a hug. A proper embrace that had grounded Phil in ways that he couldn’t even explain.

Still, he had doubted his abilities. He didn’t feel like proper king material. Like Rex had pointed out, Phil had always been different than the others who grew up like him. However, he was now starting to realise that might be a good thing.

And someone would have to take the reins, if they managed to make the King fall. Automatically, they would be handed to Phil, even if he doubted if he would be able to steer them. But he wasn’t alone. He had his people.

His mother. His brother. His new friends. His old friends. Dan.

So he took a deep breath and looked right at Rex.

“It has always been my kingdom, Rex. It is my family’s kingdom and our history runs through this place. My uncle has left a blacked stamp on our timeline but that does not mean that we cannot change things around. I want for things to change, even if I have to spearhead them to make it happen. I will do it because it is what is needed of me for _my_ kingdom.”

“Spoken like a true King,” Dan commented and placed a hand supportively on Phil’s shoulder.

Phil locked eyes with Dan and he felt like the wind got knocked out of him. Dan’s eyes were shining with pride and his whole face was one big smile. The fondness was practically palpable in the air. Phil had never dreamed that anyone would look at him like that. But Dan was looking at him as if he was the best thing to ever befall this world.

“I suppose that settles things,” Rex said and shrugged as much as the restraints Dan had put him in allowed. “I will act as a witness. I will tell the royal advisors everything I have told you. I will accept whatever punishment you deem fitting afterwards.”

Phil had never thought he would see Rex bend to someone else’s will and he felt a little bad for him. However, when he remembered the role Rex had played in his father’s murder, the previous concern evaporated.

The King might have been the Grim Reaper but Rex had played the part of the scythe perfectly. He would have to take responsibility for his actions, even if Phil would assure that he got a fair trial.

“Dan, untie him, would you? We might as well go directly to the royal advisors. I’ll just run down and find my mother. She has the power to call them forwards. I’ll be back and escort you and Rex down. Give me like ten minutes?” Phil asked.

Dan nodded and then he did something Phil hadn’t expected him to do in front of Rex. He leaned forward and placed his lips on Phil’s, just the lightest peck but for whatever reason, it made Phil feel a blush rise to his cheeks.

He could see Rex looking smug out of the corner of his eye.

“Go, Phil. I’m so proud of you that I can’t even explain,” Dan said.

However, he didn’t need to put it into words because Phil could see it in his expression, in those once cold eyes and he could feel it in the reassuring and gentle touches.

“Be back as soon as possible,” Phil promised and hurried out the door.

~*~

Dan might have looked a bit too longingly at the door after Phil closed it behind him.

“So it’s love, huh?” Rex asked and almost made Dan jump.

To distract himself, he walked over to where he had place Rex’s blade when he had moved forward to hug Phil. He would never allow any weapon to come that close to Phil. He hadn’t meant to lean in an kiss him but the urge had overcome him and he decided to throw caution to the wind.

“You wouldn’t understand, Rex. And anyway, like I said before, it’s none of your damn business.”

“I’m just trying to remind you of the reality you live in. Believe it or not, my heart isn’t made entirely of stone. You’re going to get hurt in this. Phil will in all likelihood be King. He will need a royal princess to stand at his side, maybe the lovely Princess Elena, though I have a feeling their re-engagement was just for show of the King. Either way, he cannot take a male personal servant as his spouse, even if he manages to get rid of the law. The public would never hear of it.”

Dan wanted to shout at Rex but he kept his tongue. He itched to have an outburst only because he knew what Rex was talking about and he knew that he was most likely right. Dan knew that him and Phil had been doomed from the start, personal servant relationship or not.

Phil was a prince, who was now about to be a King. Royalty married other royalty. Phil’s father and mother had been an exception but that didn’t mean that Phil would be allowed to pick whom he wanted by his side.

Moreover, Dan wasn’t like a royal princess in too many aspects; firstly, he was male, secondly, he was a commoner and thirdly, on top of everything, he had a past as a personal servant. If it had just been one of them, perhaps, it could have been allowed but not now. No one would ever accept it.

The realisation cut into Dan’s heart but he pushed it aside. They were about to face off against the King after what had already been one of the longest days in Dan’s life. He needn’t worry about what came after. They would cross all of those bridges when they came to them.

Dan just knew one thing with certainty: he would support Phil every step of the way and stay by his side as long as he possibly could.

“You’re a cynic,” Dan finally said to Rex.

“You strike me as one as well, Dan.”

“I’m not a cynic. I’m a realist though. However, I also recognise that there are things that I cannot hope to comprehend. Phil Lester is one of those things. When I met him, everything I thought I knew got turned on its head. Like you said, it’s dangerous to underestimate him. And I might not believe in a lot of things but Phil… I do believe in him. With my everything, Rex. I don’t care what will happen to me after all of this is over, as long as he’d okay. He’s the King that this kingdom deserves and he’s going to change the world in ways you can’t even believe. I just know it.”

That seemed to sufficient shut up Rex and Dan went to loosen the rope from the pillar but he still kept Rex’s hands tied behind his back. He half expected Rex to try to escape but he just stayed still and passive.

“I am sorry, you know,” Rex said.

“Huh?”

“For my part in with Phil’s father. I… I just did as I was told. It’s what I know. But I should have stopped. I should not have allowed myself to be blinded by gaining favour with the King. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to say that to me,” Dan said. “You tell that to Phil. And do so genuinely. I doubt he would ever forgive you but he still deserves to know.”

~*~

Phil rushed down to his mother’s chambers and uncharacteristically, he yanked open the door instead of asking and waiting for permission to enter. His mother was stood by the window, looking out into the garden.

Phil’s heart jumped into his chest as he recalled how he used to walk into his own chambers and find Dan lingering by the window so many times. She could see out to the part of the garden with the waterfall and the figurines. Phil wondered if the sight of running water served to calm her like it did Dan.

“Mum?” he asked, feeling very much like a little kid as soon as he was in his mother’s presence again.

She turned to look at him, tearstains still around her eyes.

“I need to you call for the royal advisors. Emergency meeting.”

“You found the evidence?” she asked.

Phil didn’t want to tell her but she would know eventually and it was better that she heard it from him.

“The King made Rex steal the ingredients and mix them into Dad’s usual medicine,” Phil said and he felt like he might break apart as his mother forced down a sob.

His mother might not have grown up with nobility but she had learnt how to behave like it and she took a deep breath and composed herself.

Never let them know if they hurt you.

His father had used to say that to him when he had been growing up. You shouldn’t let your hurt show because it just gave them more power over you. Clearly, he had taught his wife the same thing.

Phil wasn’t sure if it was healthy but it was useful for now. Perhaps, he’d have a chat with her about it later. Cornelia had advised him not to let things build up.

The former crown princess wiped her eyes and straightened her back.

“I’ll go inform them. It shouldn’t take more than five minutes. Meet us in the Grand Hall. The King is in a meeting there. Can you locate Rex that fast?”

Phil scuffed his shoe against the fancy carpet. “Dan sort of tied him up, so yeah, we have him.”

Normally, such a confession would have earned Phil a reprimand but instead his mother just cupped his cheek as she walked by. “My good boy. I’m so proud of you. You will need Doctor Day too, I assume?”

Phil nodded.

“Send for all the relevant people,” his mother instructed and they left her chambers together. She headed towards the office of the royal advisors, which were ready to be summoned for an emergency meeting. It hadn’t happened in a long time but they thankfully, tended to stick to office during the regular hours throughout the week. If the office had been closed, they should still be able to arrive at the castle within half an hour of getting the message.

Phil ran into Sean and Florian out on the hall.

“Have you seen Martyn and Cornelia?” he asked them.

“Yes, they came by to enquire about our shift schedule. Prince Martyn seemed rather upset and Princess Cornelia sounded like she was trying to talk him out of storming off to confront the King,” Florian explained.

“Phil, what is going on?” Sean asked.

Phil didn’t have the time to explain. “Go to the Grand Hall. I will need all the backup I can get. The King poisoned my father, he did not die a natural death and he made Rex steal and administer the poison.”

Florian and Sean displayed varying faces of dismay.

“Florian, could you please find Daisy and her father? They are needed in the Grand Hall in five minutes. Sean, could you locate my brother and his wife? Though if they are in the Grand Hall already then I suppose that’s okay.”

Both guards straightened and nodded at the order, just like they’d been taught to do. Phil didn’t like that type of behaviour from his new friends but at the same time he realised that not all boundaries and hierarchies could be demolished so fast.

He turned and headed back to the attic room with swift feet. Dan had gotten Rex untied from the beam but Rex’s hands were still bound behind his back. Rex looked corporative enough, which Phil considered a blessing because Dan did not look that well.

Phil reminded himself that it was just this morning that he had gotten Dan out of the bed, which he had been bound to for weeks.

“I’ll take him,” Phil offered and took hold of Rex’s hands and started moving him towards the door. He wasn’t sure that Rex requires anyone to hold him though. “You’re cooperating, right? Won’t try to run off or anything?”

“Couldn’t run from this shitstorm even if I tried, could I?” Rex said dryly but it was enough for Phil who let go of Rex’s bound hands. The sight of him reminded Phil of seeing Dan and the other personal servants bound and lined up and men pushing them around.

Rex was a murderer, at least indirectly, and a bad person but he should still be treated like a human being.

Phil looked back to see Dan linger in the door to the attic, but he couldn’t understand why.

“Why are you hesitating?” Phil asked.

~*~

“I’m not sure I should be there, Phil. Remember who I am, I’m not…” Dan started saying but he couldn’t finish the sentence when he saw the hurt look on Phil’s face.

Noble Phil, who didn’t even want to keep hold of Rex – the man that had murdered his father.

“Dan,” Phil said and there was so much fondness in how he spoke his name. “Of course, you have to be there. I don’t care that your word technically isn’t worth anything in the eyes of that stupid law. I want you there. I always want you there.”

Dan was a little too aware that Rex was lingering just outside the attic room and looking awkward, but if he hadn’t, Dan might have leaned in and kissed Phil senseless.

“You’re a fool,” Dan said but there was only fondness to be found in his voice as well.

“A royal one, I know,” Phil teased back and smiled at the lifted tension. “Let’s go.”

Phil reached out his hand and Dan took it without any more prompt.

Dan was sure Rex didn’t like the fact that he had to walk down the halls, hands bound behind him, next to the two of them while they had interlinked their fingers. Dan didn’t give a flying hoot and he didn’t care much about the curious glances the three of them got from the staff the passed along the way.

No one dared to bother them and the guards at the Grand Hall’s entrance, pulled back the doors immediately when they spotted Phil, even if he had a bound Rex and a personal servant at his side.

Dan had only been in this damned hall two times before and both those times, things had been looking pretty bleak. Things were different now. He could see how Phil carried himself, proudly with determination in his steps.

Everyone seemed to have already gotten there. The King was on his throne looking menacing and demanding to know what was going on the moment they stepped through the door. Phil’s mother was standing next to a whole group of men in royal robes, which Dan guessed must be the royal advisors.

Sean, Florian, Daisy, Doctor Day, Martyn, Cornelia and Princess Elena were standing opposite Phil’s mother and the royal advisors as himself, Phil and Rex made their way towards the throne. The King had a guard on either side and Dan recognised them as the bastards that had thrown him into the dungeons.

“I said how dare you interrupt my meeting and send my guests away? And what is this now? Why is the second in the line to the throne bound and why is…”

As the King’s eyes fell onto Dan, he looked like he got his anger turned up a notch.

“Why is the _personal servant_ in my presence? This is highly inappropriate,” the King said but Dan caught the slight tremble in his voice and how he cast a quick, but nervous glance towards the royal advisors.

Phil’s mother stepped up as Dan, Phil and Rex came to a stop before the King. Dan felt physically unwell but he held onto Phil’s hand and Phil was squeezing it to tightly that Dan didn’t dare pull his hand away, even as the King glared at their hands.

“I have called an emergency meeting with the royal advisors because it has come to my attention that you have broken the law,” Catherine said pointedly, with poise and elegance, even as she looked furious.

The King barked out a laugh and slumped back in his throne. “On what? The word of a personal servant? A personal servant condemned to the dungeons I might add.”

~*~

“You know very well that he was only supposed to be for a week and then someone moved him preemptively,” Phil said as he felt anger rise in his chest as well.

Everyone in the room seemed tightly wound like a spring and Phil was scared by what this would mean. The King looked way too calm for his liking. He probably had another card up his sleeve and if Phil hadn’t been grounding himself by holding Dan’s hand, then he might have tucked tail and bolted.

“Whatever,” the King responded. “Do tell me and the royal advisors which law you think I have broken before I revoke your widow of the late crown prince privileges, dear Catherine.”

“You had your own brother poisoned. He did not die a natural death. You made sure he met his end prematurely.”

Phil wasn’t sure how his mother could speak with such an even voice and glare straight at the King without cowering for a moment. Phil felt his chest swell with admiration for his mother, even if he also caught how her clenched fists at her side shook slightly.

“Oh, this is going to be good,” the King said. “Do present the evidence for me? Want to entertain me by having the personal servant claim something outrageous? If he does, I must remind the royal advisors that his word cannot be used as evidence.”

“And will you confirm why that is?” Phil challenged and he got the pleasure of seeing his uncle caught slightly off.

However, the King composed himself quickly.

“Well, dear nephew, your personal servant and all other personal servants are only in servitude because they could not take care of themselves. If they had been clever enough, they would have been granted sponsorships for education, or they would have had connections that could put up the money for them. It is the way our kingdom works.”

“It is how _you_ made it work,” Phil corrected.

“My kingdom, my rules,” the King said. “So will I be hearing a sob story for your little boy?”

Phil clenched his jaw but Dan tightened the pressure a little on their hands and it prevented Phil from spiralling.

“No, I am well-aware of how your personal servant law works unfortunately, despite the fact you confessed your crime to Dan, the brave person at my side. I know the royal advisors cannot act on his statement, but it is not with his word that we accuse you. We have two pieces of evidence and two witnesses to present.”

“Do go on,” the King said and he still looked way to comfortable.

“Doctor Day, could you please step forward and tell the royal advisors what you discovered earlier today?” Phi asked.

Doctor Day looked very on edge but he stepped up and explained how he had taken a closer look at the samples from the late crown prince and diagnosed poison as the cause of death. Upon this discovery, he had gone through his inventory and discovered three indigents missing from his cupboards.

Phil hated that they had to discuss his father’s murder in such clinical terms but he knew it was the approach that was needed. He couldn’t allow himself to become emotional.

As Doctor Day finished explaining, the King asked: “And who do you propose stole these ingredients? Myself? I have not been to your practice in years, Doctor Day. And how would I even know what to get and how to mix it?”

“You majesty, a simple chemist would be able to tell you what you would need and how to mix it. We have yet to locate the person you liked commanded or bribed to help you, but we will in time. However, it is not you that I claim have stolen from my practice. Instead, it is your second in line to the throne. Ty Ramous, or Rex as I believe he is commonly known. He was left alone in my office for a limited time while I tended to an emergency injury. This would have been just around the time the poison would have been administered,” Doctor Day replied.

“I see. Rex, you’re looking a little pale there and you look like you have been restrained. Can anyone explain this?”

“He came after Dan with a knife,” Phil said furiously.

“Ah, and we are reminded that Dan is…”

Phil hated his uncle so very much.

“According to the law, your law, then Dan is legally my property and thus, I think it is – even in these absurd circumstances – acceptable that I protected him, my property,” Phil had to force the words out and he had to look to Dan as he tried to communicate that of course he did not see Dan as property. He never had and he never would but Phil knew the argument would get the King to drop that line of questioning.

He had only brought it up to make Phil call to attention the fact Dan was practically enslaved to him. Phil had learnt that the King loved to torture people.

~*~

It did sting a little to be referred to as property but at the same time, Dan didn’t blame Phil at all. He was just so sick and tired of this fucking game and he wanted it to be over. He wanted to sleep, somewhere safe, preferably in Phil’s arms, and not bound to a hospital bed. But for now, he forced his weakened legs to hold him.

“Yes, I suppose that could be an argument. Well, Rex then. Since you’re here, you have just been accused of stealing the ingredients that were made to poison my beloved brother. What do you say to this accusation?”

Dan looked over at Rex and he wondered if he would turn back on his promise. He had always been rather two-faced and Dan had expected him to flip on them right now. However, Rex must have felt like he was running out of options because he sighed and confessed to stealing the ingredients on the King’s orders.

The royal advisors scribbled furiously in their notebooks.

“On my order? That is your claim?”

“Yes!” Rex exclaimed and he seemed so angry at the way the King spoke dismissively as if he was a misbehaving child that should rather be ignored. “You told me to steal them and a day later you gave me a bottle that you told me to slip into the vital on his nightstand. I didn’t ask what that liquid would do to him… I didn’t know… I thought it would just make him bedbound. I did not think that it would actually…”

“Oh, save me the guilty expression,” the King said. “You’re a wimp, after all.”

One of the royal advisors, the one closest to Catherine, cleared his throat.

“My King, I must tell you that the evidence presented by Doctor Day and the statement from a second in line to the throne, is rather overwhelming evidence.”

“No, it’s not,” the King said dismissively and with such conviction that Dan’s stomach dropped.

He knew that expression. He didn’t know the King well but he had seen that expression one too many times. He’d seen it on the first day that he had arrived in the castle and the King had spotted Phil tumble through the side-door. He had seen it for a second time while the King was taunting him in the dungeons. He was plotting something and it didn’t bode well for anyone present.

“Majesty, what do you mean?” the royal advisor asked. “Murder, or aiding in the murder, of a royal family member is a crime. It would remove you from the throne.”

“On the pesky word and circumstantial evidence of the royal doctor? For all we know he just doesn’t know how to do his inventory,” the King argued.

“I can assure you-“ Doctor Day started but his daughter wisely placed a hand on his shoulder and made him quiet down.

“We also have a statement from Ty Ramous,” the royal advisor said. “You are confessing, Lord Ramous?”

Rex looked tense and he spoke through his teeth. “Yes. I did pick up the ingredients from Doctor Day’s practice and I did pour the liquid that the King gave me a day later into the vital on the late crown prince’s nightstand. The King told me to do those things.”

“Your majesty, his statement and the evidence presented from Doc-“

“His statement is worthless,” the King said and an eerie quiet fell over the room.

There it was. Whatever the King had been waiting to drop on all of them. Dan held onto Phil’s hand a little tighter.

“Excuse me?” Martyn exclaimed and Dan could hear all the tension and he was surprised that Martyn had managed to remain quiet until now because he sounded like he was fuming.

“Oh, dear nephew, you should really familiarise yourself with our old laws. Ty Ramous’ mother might have been distantly related to the Lesters, and thus he has claim to the throne, however, his father is not who he claimed to be. He is an old lord of the tyrant kingdom. The word of any from that kingdom cannot be used. Their word is as useless as that of a personal servant.”

Dan looked sideways to Sean who looked increasingly uncomfortable but the silence after the bomb that the King just dropped didn’t linger for long.

Rex bolted forward, hands bound behind his back and all, as neither Dan nor Phil had hold of him. The guards beside the King stepped forward and stopped him before he actually reached the King but he twisted and raged like an animal. The King just laughed in a way that sent chills down Dan’s spine.

If Rex’s statement was truly valueless, just like Dan’s, they had very little to throw a King from the throne. Why couldn’t the law ever work in their freaking favour?

~*~

Phil couldn’t believe what he was hearing and he couldn’t believe that Rex actually tried to charge at the King. With his hands behind his back, Phil wasn’t sure what he had actually wanted to do.

“I’m going to rip your face off!” Rex said seething.

Phil supposed that cleared it up. He was trying to process everything that was happening all at once.

He had a feeling that his uncle would somehow find a way to remove him from the succession to the throne. He didn’t seem very fond of Rex either though, so Phil wondered in which freaking hands that the throne would land when the King finally died? Not that it would happen any time soon, unfortunately.

“You planned this all along! It wasn’t because I beat your guard that you invited me to stay at the castle,” Rex yelled, still struggling against the two guards holding him back. “It had nothing to do with me overpowering him. You just wanted someone you could manipulate. You wanted me to do your dirty work and then you knew that you could just dismiss my word, my existence, if you needed to. You’ve been playing with me all along! I’m not okay being a fucking chess piece.”

“Ah, Rex you do amuse me. And I am sad that it came down to this. I did have high hopes for you, despite your ancestry, but you turned against me. Confessing? Isn’t that a foolish move? You should have taken care to kill Philip’s personal servant like I told you to.”

Phil tensed up and he felt the need to pull his arms around Dan and get him out of there.

“Can he just say that? He just confessed to ordering Rex to kill someone!” Phil asked all of the royal advisors who looked very uncomfortable but not like they wanted to answer. “Well?” Phil demanded.

“Crown Prince Philip, you see… Dan, as you call him, is a personal servant and legally…”

Phil didn’t need to hear the rest of the reply. It was really true. The King could just order someone to kill a personal servant and it wouldn’t matter one bit. Their lives were truly valued at nothing.

They had no rights to protect them at all.

Suddenly, Phil felt an overwhelming need to take the throne to change stuff like that. If he was the King, he could have banned all of that. He could have restored their human rights and abolished slavery in any shape. But he would never get the chance to do that, would he?

The King was too many moves ahead of them and Phil hated being a chess piece as much as Rex did.

“You knew he was from the tyrant kingdom and you let him in here?” Martyn asked and Phil heard the bias in his big brother’s voice. Martyn had always been a little more black and white than Phil but with Sean present, Phil willed his brother to shut his trap.

“Near our family? Didn’t we learn from history?” Martyn went on.

Phil knew it was because he was angry and because he had spent considerable more time with the knights and guards while growing up than Phil had.

“And yet you married an ancestor from an old enemy, didn’t you, former prince Martyn?” the King taunted.

“That’s different. Cornelia’s kingdom was part of the war ages ago. The people from that kingdom personally slaughtered almost all of our family and if Rex’s father was a lord then he is probably related to them!”

Phil used all his willpower not to turn around and look in Sean’s direction. He didn’t want to draw attention to him at all but his brother was out of line. He just didn’t know how to step in. But it seemed that Dan did.

“Martyn,” Dan said sternly and Martyn looked so surprised to find Dan of all people talking. “This is not the fight we’re here for.”

“Oh, so the little personal servant does speak. You would do wisely not to. Remember how speaking worked out for you before?” the King said. “If my guards were not busy holding onto Rex here, I’m sure they could have fun with you.”

Phil wanted Dan to shut up and to stand down. They had lost. The King had outsmarted them yet again, so that even getting Rex on their side had helped any.

But Dan didn’t stand down from a fight. Not when he believed in something.

“Like I will have long to live either way,” Dan spit out and stepped up and let his and Phil’s finger fall apart.

~*~

This was going to get ugly. Really fast. But Dan was so fucking done with all of this. The King was looking so smug, sitting there on his throne, listening to them build their case, all the while knowing that he would tear it apart again.

He hated to let Phil’s hand go but he needed to. He was going to lose Phil either way and he needed to start stepping away, so Phil didn’t get caught in the crossfire.

“Is what Rex said true? Did you pick him for his ancestry?” Dan asked.

“Of course, I did. I thought he of all people would understand how this game works. I must say I’m still rather disappointed in you, Rex.”

“Go to HELL!” Rex screamed and struggled against the two guards again.

“And do you have a death wish, little boy? You are distinctively sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong and like we have just established, I can give my guards the order to kill you and pay no consequence. Perhaps, I should ask either of those two guards over by Doctor Day?”

Dan cast his eyes back to Florian and Sean, who looked extremely uncomfortable.

“I think I will, actually. You have played your part. Dan, was it? You’re about to be taken off the board. Guards, seize him and provide your blade.”

No moved, though Catherine and one of the royal advisors were talking in hushed voices. Dan could feel Phil step up closer to him again and Phil reached out to place a hand on Dan’s waist.

“This is utterly barbaric,” Princess Elena spoke for the first time since they had walked into the hall. “How can you just order someone to be murdered for just existing? Or worse for ceasing to be useful for you?”

“Oh, princess, your father might be powerful but here I run the show and even engaged to the crown prince, you hold absolutely no authority here. Guards, I gave an order.”

Neither Sean nor Florian moved and thankfully, Rex was still kicking up a storm for the two guards holding him.

“Guards, I said seize him and slit his throat,” the King ordered. “That is a direct order from your King. You do not want to find out the consequences for disobeying.”

“We are not murderers for hire,” Sean said.

“We might both have been soldiers and we are your royal guards but we do not spill innocent blood, your majesty,” Florian elaborated.

Dan knew that even if the two of them refused the order, then the King could just call for more guards or he could just order the two holding Rex to let go and carry out the order.

“Before you order any more things as the current King,” Catherine interrupted and pulled everyone’s focus to her. “You should know that you broke _another_ very important law and I very much doubt that you can weasel your way out of this one.”

“Another? Oh, do enlighten me. Do you have more half-assed evidence to throw at me?”

“No, you confirmed this one yourself,” Phil’s mother replied.

Dan was still standing frozen with Phil behind him.

“This better be good, Catherine.”

“Oh, it is,” she said. “I don’t know if you realised but since you sprung the surprise of my son Martyn’s marriage to Cornelia making him ineligible to take the throne, I have made it my mission to understand our old laws. Clearly, I have not known about all of them but apparently, neither do you. After the tyrant killed almost all of my husband’s linage, his great-grandfather’s wife wrote a law while she acted as the monarch for her son. It stated that it was the monarch’s duty to assure that no blood from the so-called tyrant kingdom could ever lay claim to the Lester throne. She was worried that some far-relative might eventually get close to the throne and she wanted the descendants of the man who murdered the love of her life far away from his beloved people. It is the monarch’s responsibility to keep the blood away from the throne. However, you confirmed that you picked Rex because of his linage and _you_ invited him to stay in the castle.”

“What law is this? My great-grandmother did not make laws!”

“Yes, she did. Not many but she did make this one. And it stands. Am I correct, Mister Head of the Royal Advisors?” Catherine asked the royal advisor who stood beside her.

“You are correct, miss Catherine. Because of the special circumstances, being an acting monarch on behalf of her underage son, it was filed specially. However, it is still very much valid.”

“What are you talking about?” the King asked and Dan could tell, maybe for the first time ever, that the King was panicking.

“You allowed someone with noble blood from the tyrant kingdom become second in line to the throne. You invited him to stay at the castle and let’s not forget about all the mysteriously disappearing heirs that used to occupy the succession to the throne before Ty Ramous. You planned this. You took him in and got him to murder my husband because you knew you could dismiss his word as worthless, if he ever came after you. But you had not foreseen everything. You broke the law by allowing him residence in the castle.”

“I never said that-“

“And if you claim ignorance, my dear king,” Catherine spat with venom at the address, “then you are a fool. We all heard you confirm it. But even if that wasn’t the case, you still failed to uphold your precious law. You failed your responsibilities as King. You are no longer eligible to hold the throne.”

~*~

“This will not stand! I am your King and you will do as I say!”

“No,” Phil said and stepped out from behind Dan. He had just watched in awe as his mother had torn the King apart.

He had thought that he needed to do this all alone and that he had to be the one to figure it out but it never had to be like that. He had to count on all of the people he had in his corner.

“You have always used the old laws and the laws you made yourself to manipulate everyone. It’s over. The game is finished, uncle. You may have accounted for nearly all of our moves but it just takes one well-placed attack to knock over the king in chess. You are done.”

“You will pay for this! All of you will pay for this! I revoke your succession to the throne, Philip!”

The Head of the Royal Advisors let out a cough. “You cannot do that anymore, Mr Lester. You have broken the law and in the eye of that law, it means that you are no longer our monarch.”

“I’m going to kill all of you! You have to do what I say!” the King screamed and charged towards Phil and Dan, but both dove sideways to get out of the way and the momentum made the King fall over as his potbelly put him off balance.

Phil felt almost bad to see his uncle humiliated like that but considering that he had just ordered Dan to be killed, it faded as soon as it appeared. It seemed to be a recurring theme of the day.

“Sean, Florian, please escort him to the dungeons,” Phil said and now the two guards moved with lightening speed, not a single beat of hesitation. “Rex should be escorted down there too,” Phil said to the other guards, who looked very much confused about what had just passed.

Phil would deal with the two of them later if they stuck around and didn’t wisely disappear now that the King had fallen. They would definitely stand for disciplinary action if they stayed.

“But opposite sides, would you?” Phil requested and moved over to place his hand on Dan’s shoulder. He didn’t want Rex to be within reach of the King. Rex was bad but he had also fallen for the King’s manipulations.

The four guards escorted the two criminals out the Grand Hall. Rex went quietly now while the King struggled and shouted.

Daisy was the first to move after that, flinging herself almost into Dan and Phil to hug them. Her movement made everyone in the room burst out with laughter.

“You got him,” she said happily. “I can’t believe you actually got him.”

“We all got him,” Phil corrected and looked over to his mother. “Mum, I can’t even…”

“Philip, I have been waiting to do something like this for years. I am only happy to help.”

“Who would have thought that dear old mum would find the solution?” Martyn said and Phil hadn’t seen him look that happy before, maybe with the exception on his wedding date before the King’s untimely announcement.

With that thought, Phil reminded himself what all of this meant. With the King officially revoked from power, the throne would fall to him. He was going to be King, whether he felt ready or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH!! An extra long chapter! What did you think? This confrontation has been a long time coming and honestly, I didn't plan for it to look like this or for it to have that twist but I actually really like how it turned out. I love how it isn't Dan and Phil who figure it out in the end because in the real world you're not charging ahead alone but you depend on your network and I loved that Phil's mother got to show up the man who murdered her husband. I hope it lived up to your expectations and I'd love for you to leave a comment down below and tell me what you liked (or didn't) about this chapter. I can't believe it's coming to an end. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my boys. The main conflict is obviously resolved however Dan and Rex's conversation brought some things to light that still need to be dealt with.
> 
> And you might have seen that I put up that this will end at 37 chapters! So only two more to go! They're not written quite yet but as usual, I'll try to keep my Saturday upload schedule. I'm still toying with the idea of doing an epilogue but I'll see how the last chapter turns out before I decide.


	36. How To Wear The Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was done. Phil would have to face the thing he had been terrified of his whole life. Dan would have to watch him belong to the people instead and he wasn't sure where he'd fit in anymore. But they had been through too much to let go of each other.

Dan could never have imagined that this would happen. As the King had come charging down from his throne, Dan had grabbed onto Phil and moved them both out of the way.

The King had looked furious but even though Dan knew what he was capable of, he hadn’t felt fear when seeing the man come at him. The mighty monarch had fallen and you could see it in his eyes. He was lashing out, like an animal caught in a net or pushed into a corner but deep down he knew that he was bested. When he fell over his own feet, Dan wanted to laugh at him.

Phil had taken charge brilliantly, like Dan had always had faith that he would. Dan wasn’t processing things correctly but Daisy’s enthusiasm and tackle-hug broke the spell and everyone started laughing. Even the royal advisors had let out a little chuckle and they looked happy as well.

Dan heard Phil’s laughter ring out clearly. Phil sounded so liberated and free. He deserved this so much. He had been fighting against his uncle for such a long time. It was like Dan was specifically attuned to Phil’s voice because he also noticed when it dropped off as Martyn spoke about their mother finding the solution to getting the former King dethroned.

Phil seemed to have paled over, not much, but just a bit.

“You have little faith in me, my oldest,” Catherine scolded but it was all in good faith. She didn’t sound upset at all.

“I have learnt never to underestimate a smart woman. I was raised by one and I married one too,” Martyn said and leaned over to press a kiss into Cornelia’s hair. “But it was still incredible to see you pull our uncle apart like that.”

Martyn and Catherine continued chatting but Dan wasn’t listening because Phil had gone dead quiet. He was clearly still trying to act like he was paying attention but his eyes looked blank and Dan had a feeling that his mind had drifted off to elsewhere.

Dan caught Daisy’s eye and she seemed to have noticed it as well.

“Well…” she said loudly and indirectly interrupted Martyn and Catherine. “I better get down to the kitchen and tell them the news! I’m sure they will want to cook a big dinner or something.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful of you, Daisy. We’d much appreciate it,” Phil’s mother said.

Daisy nodded and went up to Phil and said something in a hushed voice that Dan didn’t catch but knowing her it was probably a few words of reassurance. However, to his surprise, Daisy also pulled him into a hug.

“Take him back to your chambers, Dan. He needs a moment to breathe,” she said and smiled as she pulled away from the hug. Before Dan could say anything to her, she had turned on her heel and grabbed her father by the arm on the way out.

“Phil, do you want to…” Martyn started asking but now Dan found his voice, since Phil seemed to still have lost his.

“Martyn, would you mind terribly if Phil escorted me back to ou- I mean his chambers? I feel like I need to lie down,” Dan said. It was entirely true because with the adrenalin finally worn off, Dan was worried about his weakened legs keeping him standing but he also wanted Phil to get away from the eyes of all the royal advisors and his family.

Dan knew that Phil loved his family with all of his heart but he also knew that Phil sometimes had felt like he couldn’t be vulnerable around them while growing up. Dan didn’t know if that had changed recently but he wanted to do what was best for Phil.

Phil seemed to wake up a bit and bring his attention back to the present when Dan spoke his name and rested his hand on Phil’s arm.

“Oh, right… Sorry, I forgot that. Yeah,” Martyn said and scratched the back of his head.

“Go have a sleep, boys. Phil, you might want to have a lie-down as well,” Catherine said.

“Yes, Mum,” Phil replied but he didn’t start moving until Dan pulled gently on his arm and escorted him out of the Grand Hall, not the other way around.

~*~

It still hadn’t quite sunk in. He knew what was happening but he felt oddly like he was in a dream. He had wanted his uncle off the throne for such a long time and it had finally happened. He had tried to prepare himself for the consequences. But it still felt like a scary and overwhelming task, even if he did want to do what was the best for the people.

His people.

Dan had to almost drag him out of the Grand Hall and he kept his hand on Phil’s arm, as he moved them through the corridors with practiced ease until they reached their chambers.

The same chambers that Phil had taken to pacing the halls at night to avoid spending time in. The same chambers where he had woken up from countless nightmares while Dan had been away. The same chambers where they had shared the bed last time they were here together.

Upon seeing his bed, Phil wanted to just let himself fall face first into it and curl up under the duvet until the world would go away. But he couldn’t do that and he was acting like a zombie already and he realised that it might be freaking Dan out.

“Sorry,” Phil said. His voice came out as a squeak. It didn’t sound like the voice of a King but he would have to be crowned tomorrow.

“I beg your pardon?” Dan asked.

Oddly enough, it was that phrase that snapped Phil out of his spiralling thoughts.

“Since when do you say pardon?” he asked with a chuckle and looked up from the floor and at Dan instead.

Dan with the kind and warm eyes. He was standing in the middle of their chambers like he belonged there. Phil was overwhelmed with affection for him and he felt it necessary to pull him into a hug immediately. Dan didn’t object and he hugged Phil right back.

“I must have picked it from you. I have no clue why you would be apologising, Phil, but I can assure you that you have nothing to be sorry for.”

Phil tightened his arms around Dan’s torso, just a fraction.

“I just realised how quiet I went and I didn’t want it to scare you,” Phil explained.

Phil felt Dan’s laugh vibrate through his chest. “I don’t scare that easily, Phil. And you don’t scare me at all. You just had me a little worried.”

“Sorry,” Phil said.

“Stop apologising,” Dan demanded but there were not hard edges to his words. He just sounded soft. “And while I love hugging you – and I really, really do – I think I might need to sit down before my legs force me to.”

Phil pulled back and felt just how much Dan was leaning on him. He did look rather pale and the darkened skin under his eyes was more prominent now. Phil leaned in to rest a hand against Dan’s side and he could feel all of the weight that Dan had lost while he was in the coma. He looked almost like when he had stood in these chambers for the first time.

Except his eyes. His eyes were very different.

Phil pulled Dan and got him to sit down on the bed. He was about to pull away to go sit on the sofa but Dan’s hand caught him before he got a foot away from the bed.

“Where are you going?” Dan asked.

“I need to sit down too?”

“Just come here,” Dan said and scooted over so that Phil could sit on the bed. He did so hesitantly.

He wasn’t sure if it was okay for them to be in the same bed. They had been before everything had happened with the dungeons but that was ages ago.

“Phil,” Dan called, again stopping Phil’s spiralling thoughts. “I want to share the bed with you, if you want to. I’m not scared of you. And you can touch me. Remember what I told you in the attic room? Besides, I like to have you close and I think we could both need a cuddle.”

~*~

Phil’s mouth feel open, just slightly and Dan wanted to move up to kiss it. When he remembered that he could literally just do that, he closed the distance between them and pressed a kiss to Phil’s lips.

Phil reciprocated the pressure and Dan’s hands caught the back of Phil’s neck and pulled him down onto the bed with him. Phil followed his movements eagerly.

Dan let himself get lost in the taste of Phil. They were each on their sides, probably numbing the arm that was beneath their bodies but he could care less. Kissing Phil felt like coming home and he wondered why he had waited so damn long to do it. They could have been doing this for months, instead of just sharing one kiss in desperation in the dungeons.

Phil’s hands moved from Dan’s hips to sneak under his shirt and Phil’s hands were so soft and he was exploring so gently. However, as Phil’s hands started to creep up Dan’s back, Phil suddenly stilled completely and Dan felt how he was touching some of the old burn scars on his back.

For just a flicker, he felt worried. He didn’t let anyone touch his scars but Phil’s fingertips were definitely there.

“Dan, do you want me to pull off my hands?” Phil asked and Dan blinked and looked up slightly to catch Phil’s eyes. Their faces were almost pressed together and Phil’s eyes looked so fucking pretty up close. He took in their swirling colours and he smiled because of course Phil’s eyes wouldn’t just be one colour. One colour could never encompass everything that Phil was.

“No, it’s okay,” Dan replied. “I just… I don’t let people touch my scars.”

Phil was starting to retreat his hands but Dan reached down and caught Phil’s elbows.

“You’re not _people_ , Phil. You’re Phil and like I said, you have permission to touch me, unless I say not to. And I don’t want you to stop, okay? But you should probably need to know what you’re getting yourself into. It’s not a pretty sight.”

Dan couldn’t remember the last time that he had been shirtless in front of anybody but with a surge of courage he reached down and pulled his shirt over his head. In the same movement, he turned his back to Phil, since it by far carried the most scars.

He held his breath as he tried to sense Phil’s reaction but Phil was dead quiet.

~*~

As Phil took in Dan’s collection of scars, several emotions swelled up in his chest. Firstly, he was beyond grateful that Dan trusted him enough to show him this but secondly, he wanted to find every single person who had laid a mark like this on Dan and make them pay.

Some scars were thin and long, like a knife had been pulled along the skin just for the fun of it. There were marks of whips. However, the burns were the worst of them. Small circular burns were dotted all around his back but he also had a big one on the middle of his back.

It looked like someone had tried to brand him like a cow but he hadn’t sat still and instead the burning instrument had drifted across his back. It was huge and it looked like it had been very painful.

Phil reached his fingertips forward and touched it so carefully.

“I won’t break,” Dan muttered, as he felt Phil’s touch.

“I know,” Phil whispered. For some reason, this felt like a conversation that should be had in hushed voices. “I’m just…”

“I told you that it’s not a pretty sight. I’ve got a couple elsewhere but my back is the worst,” Dan explained.

“Dan, please turn around,” Phil asked and Dan did so.

He looked so vulnerable and stripped bare, physically and metaphorically. Phil placed a hand on Dan’s cheek.

“You’re pretty all over. You’re the most beautiful person I know and it has nothing to do with your skin. I love you.”

Phil hadn’t meant for that to slip out. But he didn’t want to take it back because he meant it. He felt it in his bones and he had been afraid to say it but he wasn’t anymore. He loved Dan. He had loved him for a while and some of his nightmares had been that he would never be able to find Dan and that Dan would never _know_ just how much Phil loved him.

Dan’s breath caught in his throat and then he was moving forward to kiss Phil with urgency. He looked gorgeous as ever. He actually climbed on top of Phil, kissing him deeply and Phil let him have control.

When Dan finally broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against Phil’s.

“I… I love you too, Phil. Fuck, I think I’ve loved you for a very long time.”

Phil hadn’t known that he wanted to hear that but he had. He had felt like he didn’t need those words because he could see that Dan cared deeply with how he acted but hearing them on Dan’s lips was like angelic song.

~*~

Dan felt like his brain short-circuited. He was still so overwhelmed by everything that had happened today and now showing Phil his scars, which wasn’t something that he hadn’t been prepared for. However, Phil’s words served to magically fight off all the fatigue, for just another moment.

Phil loved him.

Phil had said that he loved him while looking as his scarred back. Phil had said it despite knowing about Dan’s past and all of his annoying day-to-day habits. Phil had said it because he meant it.

“I don’t think I can take anymore today,” Phil said. “This is all a bit much.”

“We should sleep,” Dan agreed and as if saying the word was enough, he broke out into a yawn.

“Yeah, but let me just do something first, if you can get off?” Phil asked and touched Dan’s hip gently. Dan hadn’t realised that he was straddling Phil.

Dan almost wanted to make an inappropriate joke but it seemed like he didn’t need to because Phil was smiling like he knew exactly what Dan was thinking. So Dan just rolled off Phil obediently.

Phil got up and went to the bathroom and came back with something in his hand.

“It’s a special lotion to help battle wounds heal. Mind you, I don’t go out into actual battle but I hurt myself enough just walking around. It’s supposed to minimise scarring. I don’t know if it’ll help but could I…?”

Dan nodded and tried not to let it show just how much he appreciated the consideration. Someone else might have mistaken Phil’s offer as an indication that he was trying to fix Dan’s ugly back but Dan knew that it wasn’t like that.

Phil had said that he was beautiful and Dan knew that he had meant it. Scars or not. Frankly, the mental scars were much worse to deal with, even if they weren’t visible.

Dan lied down on his stomach and Phil sat on the back of his thighs and applied the lotion to the scarred areas. Phil’s hands felt wonderful and Dan let himself get lost in the feel.

“Hey Dan?” Phil asked and alerted Dan, who hadn’t noticed that he was nodding off.

“Yeah, Phil?”

“Do you think that I can do it?” Phil asked and Dan heard the click of the tube. Dan didn’t need to ask to what Phil was referring to.

He started to turn around and Phil lifted his legs up but before he could move off entirely, Dan had said up and pulled Phil forward, so that Phil’s thighs were on either side of Dan’s hips.

If Dan hadn’t been so exhausted, his focus would probably have been elsewhere. By the slight flush in Phil’s cheeks, he might be right there with Dan.

“Like I said before, Phil, you don’t have to do it alone. You have all of us. But yes, I do believe that you can do it. In fact, I don’t know any other person who would be more qualified to run this kingdom. Not even your brother.”

“What’s wrong with Martyn?” Phil asked and he sounded a little defensive, so Dan decided to proceed carefully.

“There’s nothing wrong with him, Phil. He’s a good man. But he’s rash, he’s overpowering and he lets his anger get the worse of him. I’m sure he could have been a good king but I think you’re going to be a _great_ one. You listen to people, no matter where they come from. You fight against injustice. You want an equal society. You know when to ask for help. You inspire people. If you ask me, then those are all wonderful qualities for a king to have.”

~*~

There was something indescribably beautiful about being so close to Dan and be able to watch his eyes as they radiated and echoed everything Dan was saying. Phil was not sure if he deserved this unwavering confidence but he appreciated it more than he could articulate.

Phil wasn’t sure that he did all of those things but he was sure that he knew Dan and that Dan wasn’t a person who liked to sugar-coat anything. If he said it, then he meant it.

“Thank you, Dan.”

“If only you could see yourself through my eyes, Phil.”

“Then I would love for you to see yourself through my eyes, as well.”

Phil wasn’t sure how long they sat there just smiling at each other but it was nice. When they finally pulled the cover aside and climbed into bed, Dan pulled Phil very close the moment he could.

Phil let the feeling of Dan in his arms settle his erratic heartbeat. He had dreamed of holding Dan like this again. In so many nightmares, Phil’s uncle had ripped Dan out of Phil’s sleeping arms. But this was real and the King had fallen.

The future king fell asleep with the man he loved in his arms.

They slept all the way until the morning. No one had come to bother them and if anyone had peaked inside, then Phil hadn’t noticed it. When he slowly came to, he looked out to see the rising sun. It was the dawn of a new day.

A very important day. He would have to be crowned today. He felt his heart speed up.

“Hey,” Dan said, his voice low and deep. “What’s happening? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Phil, I have my hand on your heart, you’re freaking out and you literally woke up a second ago.”

“How long have you been awake?” Phil asked and looked from the window back to Dan.

“A while. I didn’t want to get up,” Dan explained and burrowed deeper into the duvet and closer to Phil. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

Phil knew that Dan meant in bed but his brain couldn’t help but imagine those words in other circumstances as well.

“Watched me sleep? Like a creep?” Phil teased and he was thankful that the light and familiar banter with Dan could distract him from the growing ball of dread in his stomach.

Phil had imagined Dan to call him an insult, maybe shove at him but he hadn’t expected an earnest answer.

“How many times will I get to wake up next to you? Of course, I’m taking full advantage of waking up in your arms and seeing your drooling face.”

“I do not drool!”

“Oh, yes you do,” Dan argued and he wore such a bright smile but Phil noticed the hint of melancholy in Dan’s eyes and he recalled Dan’s words.

“I’m not the only one with a wandering mind this morning, am I?” Phil asked and trailed his hands over Dan’s shoulder blade and down to his collarbone. His skin was warm and soft and Phil knew he would never tire of the fact that Dan allowed him to be this close.

“Perhaps,” Dan said. “But I don’t want to talk about it. It’ll make it real.”

Phil let out a soft chuckle and felt trailing his fingers across the top of Dan’s back when the boy rolled over and pressed his face into the mattress.

“More real than the fact that I’ll have to wear a crown tonight?” Phil asked and he felt how his heartbeat started going back up.

“About the same,” Dan mumbled into the bed.

“Dan, you know you can talk to me about anything. Literally anything you want. I won’t judge you. You know that right?”

Dan lifted his head and Phil barely caught how he swiftly wiped under his eyes with the back of his hand.

~*~

Waking up in Phil’s embrace had felt surreal but a moment later, Dan had felt slightly panicked and like he didn’t belong there at all, no matter how at home he felt in Phil’s eyes. Phil was to be King. He would be in charge of the whole kingdom. People would have expectations of him. He would have more responsibilities. Dan wasn’t sure how he fit into the equation now.

Officially, Daniel James Howell was dead. Sean had made sure of that when he got hold of Dan’s chip.

“I know,” Dan said to answer Phil’s question. “It’s probably just me being stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Dan. We both know that. Please, tell me what’s bothering you.”

Phil’s hands were still trailing across Dan’s skin, so lightly that the touch almost wasn’t there. Dan couldn’t recall anyone every being so gentle with him and warmth spread out in his chest.

“You’re going to be a great king, Phil. I believe that with my whole being but… I don’t know if I… I’m not of noble blood. I don’t belong by your side. And your people would never understand or accept it. We… I love you but we can’t be together.”

Dan was avoiding Phil’s eyes but when Phil’s hand just stopped and Phil didn’t say anything. Dan had to look up and see the reaction that his words had inspired. It was not a pretty sight. Phil looked heartbroken and a little angry.

“Dan, you’re not making any sense,” Phil said eventually.

Phil’s words made Dan sit up and pull away from Phil, even if every fibre of his being wanted to remain close to the future king lying beside him.

“I am, Phil. You know that I am. I’m not a royal princess. And if my dick and my lack of nobility wasn’t enough, then I’m also technically dead and a formerly enslaved,” Dan said.

“I don’t care, Dan. Do you think that changes anything for me? I meant what I told you last night. _I love you_. Do… do you not…”

Dan couldn’t even let Phil finish that sentence. He could never live with himself if Phil thought that.

“Of course, I love you, Phil. Don’t you ever doubt that, okay? I love you more than I thought I would ever be able to love anybody. Just looking at you makes me so freaking happy. Being able to talk to you or touch you has become my sanctuary. I love you. But the public opinion is something that you’ll have to consider now. Can you see how it would look if people found out that you were involved with the guy who was your personal servant?”

~*~

Phil hadn’t even considered that. Dan had never been like his personal servant. He had always been so much more. He knew that Dan was making a valid point but Phil had lived his whole life with people telling him how to behave and what to do or what not to do. He was done taking orders from people.

If he was going to be King then it was going to be on his terms.

He had already lost so much and he wouldn’t let something as ridiculous as bureaucracy pull him away from the man that he loved.

“Let them say what they want,” Phil replied. “Let them make assumptions. I don’t care, Dan. I care about you and how we feel about each other. Do you hear me? That’s what matters.”

Dan’s chest was rising and falling with great effort. “What about your mother?”

Phil chuckled. “My mother? She adores you. She knew that you were the piano player at the masquerade ball and she kept it secret. She allowed me to bring you into the mourning prayer for my father. She knows how I feel about you, maybe even before I did. My mother will not be a problem.”

“Someone else might,” Dan argued but his tone was weak.

“Then we prove them wrong,” Phil said and got up to his knees and moved closer to Dan who had sat down at the end of the bed opposite Phil. He leaned in to press a chaste kiss to Dan’s cheek.

“I’m not letting you go, Dan. Ever again,” Phil said sternly but then realised how that might sound. “I mean… unless you want me to, let go that is. You can obviously just ask me to back off and I’ll…”

Dan laughed, wholeheartedly and it stopped Phil from his rambling.

“I know that you’d never force me to do anything, Phil. You’re adorable. So you seriously don’t care about the implications of keeping me as your bed warmer?”

“Dan, you were never a bed warmer. But no, I don’t care. I’m so done caring what everyone else thinks of me. I care what my family thinks of me, what my friends think of me and what _you_ think of me. Everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves.”

“Okay,” Dan said, fondness seeping into the single word. “Then I’m with you. Every step of the way.”

“Good, because I’m sure we will get uninvited visitors if we don’t leave these chambers soon,” Phil said.

Dan surprised him by tackling him down to the bed and snuggling closer.

“Five more minutes. It’s still early,” he said and hugged Phil closer.

Phil didn’t put up any protest.

~*~

Five minutes turned into half an hour before there was a knock on the door. Phil asked who it was and Daisy opened the door and greeted them with a smug smile and a tray of food.

“I figured that you’d be hungry,” she said and winked.

“What are you insinuating?” Phil asked with his eyes narrowed behind his hastily put on glasses.

“You skipped dinner last night, dork,” Daisy said, innocently.

Dan was actually hungry when he caught the whiff of breakfast. He couldn’t even recall when he’d had his last meal and being back in the castle with Phil and having Daisy bring them breakfast as usual seemed like a wonderful dream.

“Eat up fast. I heard that they’re sending the tailor your way soon,” Daisy said. “The castle is already buzzing with excitement for later. No, Phil, don’t give me that panicked look. You’ll have plenty of time and it’s just your family that will be invited into the Grand Hall. Allegedly because of the urgency, your mother insisted that none of the usual dozens of invitations go out. I’m guessing that she knew you wouldn’t want a massive audience.”

“I’ll still have to address the people tonight,” Phil answered. “My people.”

Dan was a little lost. He had never paid much attention to the monarchy before and he had been very young when Phil’s uncle had been crowned.

“You’ll do brilliantly, Phil,” Daisy assured him. “We all believe in you. Now eat up. I’ll see you later?”

“Will you be there?” Phil asked. “In the Grand Hall?”

“Of course, I’m going to be at your coronation. You don’t even have to ask, Phil. I would have snuck in either way, just so you know,” Daisy said and curtseyed extravagantly before leaving. It made Phil smile. It was all antics because she never did that normally.

Dan cautiously took a bit of scrambled eggs onto his plate and ate slowly not to disturb his stomach too much.

“What’s the coronation like?” Dan asked, while watching Phil play around with the food on his plate. He seemed thankful for the distraction.

“It’s a very formal affair normally. All the royals from neighbouring kingdoms are invited. Usually within a day’s notice, so I can thank my mother for going against tradition and not sending out invitations yesterday. But essentially, it’s just a whole bunch of royal people from all different ends. Mum will probably be the one to crown me, since it’s usually the King’s widow but… he wasn’t married,” Phil explained. “I don’t think there’s usually non-nobility in the room but you and Daisy have to be there. I don’t care about the traditions.”

Dan’s heart swelled with love, which was beginning to feel like a familiar feeling. He never wanted it to stop.

Their breakfast session was interrupted with a knock on the door. It was a tailor, like Daisy had warned them but also a couple of the royal advisors. Phil seemed to know what to do and Dan guessed that he had probably been dressed for a lot of important occasions, even if it had never really been like this before.

Dan decided to hang back and just observe. It was a world of difference to how Dan had grown up. The tailor took some measurements while the royal advisors were asking about something Dan didn’t care to pay attention to. He just watched Phil.

He watched how the tense lines in his shoulders grew tenser. He watched how Phil almost shuddered when a big cape, which the old King had always worn, was laid across his shoulders. However, Phil didn’t let anyone outwardly know how much he disliked any of it. He took to it like he had been taught.

Without complaint and with a reserved smile.

Dan was growing increasingly worried until Phil’s mother came into the room and ordered everyone, except Dan and her son, out of the room. Phil took a deep breath to steady himself as the staff left.

“I know, it’s overwhelming, son,” Catherine said and put her hand on Phil’s arm.

Dan felt like he was intruding a little but Catherine had explicitly asked him to stay. So he just sat on the bed, cross-legged and watched with subtle fascination.

“I guess that I’ll have to get used to it. Oh, and I invited Daisy and Dan to attend the coronation,” Phil told his mother.

Dan tried to watch for any sense of discomfort on the former crown princess’ face but she was just smiling gently.

“I figured, which was why I think it is best that we keep the coronation private without the usual array of guests. It might cause a little controversy and some of them might even get offended but this is your moment. You should get to choose who you want by your side,” Catherine said and looked over to Dan with obvious fondness.

Phil seemed to have been right. Catherine didn’t seem to mind Dan at all.

“You will be facing a lot of challenges in your new life as our monarch, Philip. You will have to defend your viewpoint and you will have people criticise you. But you are never alone. I could not protect your father but I will not let anyone harm any of my sons.”

Dan could see Phil getting teary-eyed and he felt his own eyes sting a little. His parents had been absent and regarded him with indifference most of his life. He had thought that the Lesters were all cruel-hearted and mean-spirited but he couldn’t have been more wrong.

~*~

“Thanks, Mum,” Phil said and pulled her into a hug. He was so unexplainably thankful for his mother’s support and how she seemed to know just what he needed in any situation.

“I have something for you,” she said and walked over to the door where she had placed something on a hanger when she had come in. Phil hadn’t noticed because he’d been surrounded by the staff members that she had now sent away.

“It’s your grandfather’s old coronation shirt. It the one he wore when he was crowned. Your uncle was already too large a man to fit into it when he was crowned. He actually demanded that it be refitted, so that he could wear it, but your father put his foot down. Our uncle never touched it. I think it will fit you nicely.”

Phil reached out and touched the soft silky fabric of the shirt. He remembered his grandfather wearing this shirt on special occasions. It had been passed down through the last couple of generations and Phil had almost forgotten about it.

As opposed to the royal cape, which he had felt almost sick while wearing around his shoulders, this was a piece of family history that Phil wanted to embrace. It was the remnant of a time when a Lester King had been loved and not feared.

“I don’t know what to say,” Phil said.

“Don’t say anything, just put it on,” his mother said and Phil did.

He cast a shy glance in Dan’s direction and he recalled how he had startled Dan by changing in front of him nine months ago when they had just met. Now Dan just smiled and it looked so natural to have him sitting in the middle of Phil’s bed. It looked like he belonged here and Phil didn’t mind that he was observing a private conversation. He knew he didn’t need to hide any part of his life from Dan.

The shirt fit perfectly.

“What do you think, Dan?” Catherine asked, which prompted Dan to get off the bed and take a closer look at Phil.

“He looks amazing, as always,” Dan replied.

Phil smiled and felt a little flushed at the compliment.

“I couldn’t agree more,” she replied and Phil felt the nerves and tension drain out of his body a little.

He would still be Phil, even when he was crowned into a King.

“Fit to wear the crown,” his mother added. “Oh, and we should get you some clothes as well, Daniel.”

“Me?” Dan asked and Phil could hear the confusion in Dan’s voice.

“If you’re to stand next to him in the future, you have to match him. I would advise that you wait until after the coronation to do it officially but I know nothing would be able to tear you two apart,” she clarified.

“So… you approve?” Dan asked, in a hushed voice.

Phil recalled how he had been so worried about his mother’s opinion this morning and clearly, he still didn’t believe that she would be okay with it.

“All I want is for my boys to be happy. You make Phil happy. Doesn’t he, Phil?”

“Very much so, mother,” Phil replied and smiled as he saw the colour rise in Dan’s cheeks.

“Then that’s all I need to offer my blessings. And I will work with you to ensure that nothing can disqualify a future union.”

Phil gasped and Dan paled.

“Mum,” Phil whined. “We’re not- it’s not…”

“I’m aware,” she said. “I’m only teasing you a little. I know that I’m getting ahead of myself.”

Phil heard a lingering “but” in the air because he knew his mother. If Dan had not been present, she would have said, “a mother knows such things”. Phil hadn’t allowed his mind to even go that far but…

The notion of marrying Dan somewhere down the line was pleasant one, even if it was much too soon to consider that.

“Well, the tailor will be back soon, I imagine. Have him check this shirt over, just to be sure. And then make sure he bring something for Dan. You have another hour and a half, child. I will see the both of you in the Grand Hall at Phil’s coronation.”

When she closed the door, Phil looked to Dan and his flushed face.

“You okay?”

“Of course, I’m okay,” Dan said, a little snappy. “I just… I wanted her not to hate me but for her to mention…”

“Dan, don’t worry about it, okay? She was just trying to be nice.”

“I guess, I can see that,” Dan said and fidgeted with his hands.

Phil stepped up and took Dan’s hands in his and they locked eyes. Phil leaned in to kiss Dan and he was relieved when Dan melted against the kiss.

“We decide what we are, Dan.”

“You will be the King, Phil.”

Phil knew that. He knew that officially that would change everything but he didn’t want it to. He wanted to make changes, he wanted to change the laws his uncle instated but he also wanted to stay true to himself. He had a feeling that Dan would be pivotal to that.

“I’m Phil first, then err… King Lester second. I don’t want everything to change, Dan. I’m scared enough already. I want to be able to have you. I want to be able to lean in,” Phil said and leaned in to kiss Dan again, “and kiss you. I want to be able to hold your hand,” he added and squeezed both of Dan’s hands. “I want to wear the crown because I know that I can do a lot of good things but I don’t want to lose who I am with you.”

“You won’t,” Dan said with such conviction that Phil felt a little winded. “You won’t lose yourself, Phil, even if I have to make sure of it myself. I’m not going to let you burn yourself out on the politics. A law bound me to you before but now I will stay because I love you. I have never been capable of leaving you behind. I had just met you and I couldn’t find it in myself to run away. I’ll never run away from you, Phil. If you want me, you’ve got me, okay? If you say that we can figure out the formalities, then I trust you. I will always trust you.”

Phil broke out into a wide smile. He had needed Dan’s reassurances on this scary day. He needed to know that Dan would be there for him when he’d get overwhelmed or scared.

“You know that you have me as well, right? Even when I’m King, I’ll still just be the same ol’ Phil. We can go on moonlight walks in the garden when you wake from nightmares. You can play the piano in the library and I’ll sit and listen with a book open in my lap. We can wake up in each other’s arms, just like this morning.”

“I’d like that,” Dan said and leaned in to kiss Phil once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this was supposed to be the penultimate chapter and it might still be but I had originally planned to have the coronation in this one but it got above 6k and this felt like a good place to stop. So there'll be 1-2 chapters left because I don't know if I have the space to wrap up everything still left in just one chapter. Sorry about that! But I hope that you liked this chapter! Thank you to Abby from the comments for the idea of Phil applying scar cream to Dan's back. It inspired the whole first half of the chapter and also ended up in Phil saying those little three words out loud. It wasn't planned (from him or myself) but they just flowed onto the paper and I kind of love that. I hope you liked it too. And Dan's doubts were calmed by Phil and Phil's nerves calmed by Dan. They're so good for each other honestly.
> 
> I hope to have the final (or maybe penultimate if I write a lot) chapter ready for the usual Saturday upload but it's not written yet, so I can't promise it. But as usual, I'll try my very best and positive writing vibes are appreciated. 
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with this story. The end is so damn close and I think I keep prolonging the different scenes because I'm just not ready to let go quite yet. It's gotten over a thousand kudos now and the fact that a thousand people saw and liked my story is just so mind-blowing. And thank you to all the people who use the comment section and talk to me about this story - I adore you.


	37. Right Next To Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normally, a coronation was a grand event where royalty from the surrounds kingdoms would be invited to come and bear witness. Phil's coronation would be very different and he loved that with his whole heart.

A royal coronation seemed is should be quite a big deal. Dan wasn’t sure because he’d never been in the castle before when one went underway. It had been decided that Dan would wear his outfit from the masquerade ball, which he was more than happy with, even if the quality of the clothes and their level of formality still felt a bit odd. No one really cared to look over his appearance more than a quick glance, while Phil seemed to be inspected down to the way the hair of his fringe fell. Dan excused himself from their chambers and when Phil looked up, panic in his eyes, Dan had assured him that he’d be just outside the door away from all the staff trying to make Phil look presentable.

Dan couldn’t get within arm’s reach of him anyway. So he ended up outside, with his back against the wall and staring up into the celling. He saw Martyn approach in his peripheral but only looked over to the former prince when he stopped next to him.

“Are they pulling him limb from limb?” Martyn asked jokingly but Dan caught onto the undercurrent of emotions.

“He would much rather dress himself,” Dan replied.

Martyn snorted and grinned. “Yeah, he was always like that. He could always manage so much better on his own than I could.”

Dan took a moment to consider Martyn’s words.

“Perhaps but he’s much better off with people not assuming that. He might have learnt not to depend on anyone, which I admit is a strong tool, but it’s not a healthy or happy way to live.”

“Oh, Dan, I didn’t mean that…”

“I know,” Dan assured him. “I know you love him and that he’s your baby brother. You were brought up to be strong, the both of you, and not to show weakness. Like I said, it’s a useful thing. But it can also make your life miserable.”

“Talking from experience, I take it?” Martyn asked and leaned against the wall opposite Dan and mimicked his posture.

“Yes,” Dan admitted. He didn’t like talking about it with anyone who wasn’t Phil but he was learning to open up more and Martyn was important to Phil and by association he was important to Dan. “We’re more similar than we appear.”

“I did pick up on that,” Martyn said with a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re quite the dynamic duo. I’m not sure if there’s anything you couldn’t do. And Dan, I know I was a bit sceptical when I met you, even as Phil explained your situation. I thought Phil was just looking out for people – he’s always been doing that. But when you disappeared… I’ve never seen Phil so… fragile? I’ve never seen him so dependent on anyone’s presence before and if I hadn’t met Cornelia and fallen in love with her, then I would have called it a weakness. But I know that it’s an impossible grand source of strength too. You cannot have one without the other.”

Dan wasn’t sure what to reply to that. He hadn’t talked to Martyn that often and he still found it a bit awkward.

“I have a lot of things to learn from my brother, even if he is the younger one. And from you too, I imagine. Protect my brother’s heart, will you?”

Dan felt a lump in his throat. He couldn’t see Phil opening up to anyone about his feelings about him until the two of them had confessed it to each other, which meant that Martyn had picked up on it himself. Had it really been that obvious?

“I’ll guard it with my life,” Dan said.

Martyn extended a hand, which Dan took and then he felt himself being pulled into a one armed hug with their interlocked hands were squeezed between their chests.

“I have hoped my whole life that he would find happiness and someone who could understand him in a way that I know I’ve never been able to. Thank you for bringing out the light and fight that I always knew he had inside him.”

With that the door to the chambers opened.

~*~

Phil hadn’t expected to stumble upon Dan and Martyn locked in a hug in the hallway but it was a pleasant surprise, even if he quickly checked to see if Dan was freaking out about being in close proximity to someone he didn’t know very well.

The two broke apart as the door opened and they both wore smiles.

“What were you two talking about?”

“How you snore,” Dan replied while Martyn said “Your love for mismatched socks.”

And then the two of them looked over and burst out laughing. Phil had a distinct feeling that they had been discussing something else entirely but he was just so happy to see Dan and Martyn interacting in such a way.

He wanted nothing more than for Dan to become accepted by the Lesters.

“Don’t just stand there, brother. We need to move and get that crown on your head,” Martyn said and grabbed Phil by the shoulder and started pulling him along. Dan followed beside them.

Entering the Grand Hall had never felt so scary. Phil remembered his uncle’s coronation all too well. He was still having episodes of crying because he had just lost both of his grandparents. The queen had gone first after a couple of months of illness and the king had followed just days later, presumably from grief. And young Phil didn’t want to be sat in the crowd of hundreds of royals from around the kingdom, as they watched in awe as his uncle took his grandfather’s place. Even as a child, Phil knew that his uncle was bad news.

The memory of that coronation stood as a stark contrast to what Phil watched as he walked into the Grand Hall on the day of his own coronation. There were no chairs lining the whole place. No aisle to walk down while everyone stared.

Instead, a little group of people stood collected around the throne chair.

Phil’s mother, Cornelia, Elena, Daisy and then the head of the royal advisors to bear witness.

All of them collectively smiled when Phil walked in with Martyn on one side and Dan on the other. It was conventional to only have royal guests present but Phil had no problem starting out bending the rules and traditions to allow more power and access to the commoners.

His uncle had tried to do everything to widen the gab between those of noble blood and those without it. Phil intended to do everything in his power to make the gab as small as possible.

“There you are, my dear,” Catherine called.

“All of this dressing up for just us?” Phil had to ask, as he walked over.

“You’re addressing the people later and it’s tradition, boy. Besides, you look very dashing in your grandfather’s shirt,” she said and reached out to pat his shoulder as he stopped next to her.

“Crown Prince Philip,” the royal advisor said, “if you would like to take a seat? I take it that you want a short ceremony?”

“Yes,” Phil confirmed and reached over to squeeze Dan’s hand before letting go to ascend the steps up to the throne chair. Phil made a mental note to have this area restructured so that the throne wasn’t higher than any other chair.

Phil cleared his throat as he sat down.

“Do you have any words prepared?” the royal advisor asked.

Phil recalled how his uncle had ranted on for almost half an hour about how great he was going to make this kingdom and correct his father’s mistakes. When he had addressed the people later that day, he had barely said more than a few sentences to them. It showed everyone how he regarded those not important enough or noble enough to be invited to the actual coronation.

“No,” Phil said with a slight shake of his head. “Everyone in this room knows how much I respect them. I would not be here without your help and I promise that I will try my best to turn our kingdom into something beautiful again. But the speech will have to wait until I can address all of my people.”

He was already anxious about the speech but somehow he could feel himself growing even more anxious. He took a deep breath and looked out into his little crowd and found Dan’s eyes.

His mother stepped up with the crown in her hands and Phil held eye contact with Dan until he felt it settle on his head.

~*~

Dan was surprised that the coronation was over so quickly and he must have looked baffled because while everyone clapped after the crown had been placed on Phil’s head, Elena leaned over to him and whispered something.

“It’s isn’t always like this. Usually, it can take hours. But we already know that Phil is special.”

At her words, Dan turned his confused frown into a smile and clapped his hands a little louder.

“That’s it?” Phil asked and he sounded slightly unsure. He moved his hand up to adjust the crown.

“That is it,” his mother confirmed. “A simple affair for it suits you, Philip. You never cared for all our royal alliances like that. Though, I must urge you to remember them.”

“I’m… the King?” Phil said. Dan could almost see the cogs turning in Phil’s head. He was trying the word out and attempting to embrace it.

Frankly, Dan thought it sounded odd as well. But then again, he had had a tendency to forget that Phil was a royal prince in the first place and he didn’t really plan on putting in a lot of effort to change that anyway.

He liked that Phil would always be Phil first and then his title and responsibilities and everything else in second row.

“I have a few laws that I want to begin the process of changing,” Phil said to the head of the royal advisors who pulled up a small notebook. “The law about personal servants. I want it removed entirely. Someone’s financial situation should not mean that they have to enslave themselves.”

“Noted.”

“And I think there’s a law against people from the tyrant kingdom, correct?”

“There are a few about them, sire,” the royal advisor confirmed.

“Okay, I’ll have to look them over but I don’t want a whole people to suffer the consequences of their ancestors. Oh, and that reminds me, I also want the old laws from the war about marrying people from then-enemy kingdoms gone. I should have been removed before, so it could never have been used against Martyn and Cornelia.”

“Noted, and I will make an appointment to go over the laws you requested tomorrow. Anything else?”

“No, not right now,” Phil said and felt the adrenalin in his heart. Five people were staring at him and the only one not doing so was Dan.

The royal advisor seemed to sense the atmosphere and excused himself.

~*~

“The tyrants, Phil?” Martyn asked and Phil could hear the hatred dripping off his voice. “The people who slaughtered almost all of our family just a few decades back?”

“Yes,” Phil said and stepped down from the throne to stand toe-to-toe with his brother. Dan moved to stand behind him.

“And may I ask why? Because I’m very confused.”

“If I recall, there are several laws in place taking away those people’s rights while they are in our kingdom. It’s not just the one that the old queen made on behalf of her infant son. They are discriminated against generally. They can be sent back if they are found out to be residing here.”

“Yes,” Martyn said and Phil could sense that he was trying to understand but failing.

“It isn’t fair, Martyn. Some of them flee their home kingdom to attempt to start over. They are a whole people from a kingdom who had a bad ruler and murderous rules. Would you like that all of us be judged by the actions of our uncle? How would you feel if other kingdoms made rules like that against us when we visited or moved?”

“That’s different. The environment that they’re raised in… Phil, it’s not good. We don’t want people like that in our, your kingdom.”

“They’re not all the same, Martyn. I know that for a fact. Dad did too.”

“Dad?” Martyn asked.

“The guard told you?” Catherine asked. “What was his name? Sean?”

Now, that Phil thought about it, he wasn’t surprised that his mother knew about Sean. Of course Phil’s father had told his wife. He was always very adamant about your spouse being your only true confidant and that you should never, under any circumstances hide anything from them. If you felt like you needed to, then you had married the wrong person.

“Yes,” Phil confirmed.

“What is going on?” Martyn asked.

~*~

Dan felt like he was watching a private argument unfold and he didn’t like it very much. However, at the same time, he was immensely proud of Phil for laying down the law – quite literally – from the first moments.

Dan could understand the personal trauma the tyrant kingdom had left on the Lesters and he knew that it bled into the general population as well. If Phil did this, it might cause controversy but that didn’t make him any less right.

It was bad something like that could have happened to Sean just a few years back. It was the first signs of their own kingdom turning cruel and Dan knew they were lucky someone like Phil had taken the reins now and that he wanted to turn things around.

“One of the guards, Sean, is the true heir to the tyrant kingdom. He is the Crown Prince James that was allegedly murdered by his little brother for the throne. He wasn’t murdered. He was trafficked here and almost killed in the worst way imaginable by _our_ noble lords. He’s a good man and Dad saved him.”

“That guard is from the tyrant kingdom?” Martyn asked in a mix of shock and anger. “He’s their rightful king?”

Martyn sounded furious and Dan stepped closer to Phil, ready to step in but luckily he didn’t have to.

~*~

“Martyn,” Cornelia said and put a hand on her husband’s arm. “This is a discussion for another time. Phil needs to work on his speech. And for what it’s worth, our kingdoms were enemies once too. People do change. I feel it best we leave now. Phil, thank you for having us here.”

Phil was eternally grateful for Cornelia’s interruption because her words made Martyn quiet down.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, Phil, I didn’t mean. I know if you say he’s a good man, then it’s true. It’s just… the horror stories of those people are burned into my mind.”

“It’s something that had travelled down through stories from father to son,” Catherine said. “But it might be time to confront our bias. We will discuss this further at a later stage. We’ll leave you be for now, Phil.”

Phil nodded and watched as Martyn, Cornelia and Catherine left but Dan, Elena and Daisy lingered.

“I love you,” Daisy said and jumped up to pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “And I think what you’re doing is awesome.”

“Is it true? About Sean?” Elena asked.

“Yes,” Phil confirmed.

The princess nodded and then curtsied and took her leave with Daisy, just leaving Dan and Phil standing.

~*~

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Phil noted. “Hardly spoken a word. I thought I was the one who didn’t like to talk to crowds.”

“I’ve just been watching,” Dan said and moved forward to hug Phil from behind and placed his chin on Phil’s shoulder. Phil leaned into the touch and let Dan support his weight.

“Do you think I was wrong to enquire about those laws?”

“No,” Dan said honestly. “I think you want to fight for anyone who is treated unfairly in your kingdom. You want people to be equally treated, regardless of gender, social status, age or nationality. Where someone was born, or even who their ancestors are, doesn’t have to define them. They can be something else entirely. Just look at what Sean overcame. Look at how good and pure you turned out despite your uncle having power while you grew up.”

“I need to talk to my uncle and Rex before I make the speech for the people,” Phil said and put his hand around Dan’s forearms and leaned his head back to rest on Dan’s shoulder.

Dan wanted to take away all the doubt from Phil’s voice. He had been so sure in his orders until Martyn had questioned him.

“Don’t let your brother turn you doubtful of your abilities, Phil,” Dan said.

~*~

But that wasn’t what he was doing.

“Dan, I value his input and his perspective. I don’t have any opinions set in stone. I want his counsel. I want to have my own views challenged, so I don’t become a biased dictator who only goes after my own whims. I want someone to challenge me and push me to do better. That’s why I love you.”

Dan let out a chuckle that vibrated through his chest. “Is that so? I challenge you?”

“Since the day we met,” Phil confessed. “You came into my life so unexpected and it took me so long to understand how you see the world. I’ve learnt so much just from hearing you talk about things or discuss topics with you. You gave me a perspective that I couldn’t have understood without your help.”

And right then and there, it dawned on Phil.

He had been so worried about having to have all this power and how to use it. He was so scared of making a mistake but he was also scared of getting high on the power and that it would corrupt him. But that wouldn’t happen if he had someone to keep him in check. Someone he would discuss ideas with to try to come up with the best solutions to problems.

Daisy and Dan kept saying that he wasn’t alone and they were so right but on some level Phil had always thought that he would be the only one to sit on the throne. After all, there was just one monarch who held all the power. It was tradition.

But traditions could be changed.

Phil needed a council. A King’s Council of his most trusted family, friends and allies. The people picked the board of royal advisors and they had to have a certain education to be eligible to even sit on the board but Phil wanted a wide array of different perspectives.

He could never hope to understand everything but he could assemble a council of people who could cover most of it. He didn’t have to make decisions all by himself.

“Phil, are you okay?” Dan asked and spun Phil around so they were eye to eye. “You went awfully quiet just now. Wait, that’s your idea face. What’s going on?”

“I just thought of… wait, I have an idea face? What do you mean?” Phil said, his mind jumping onto the first available tangent.

“Phil, focus,” Dan asked, laughter in his voice and eyes practically gleaming. He looked as in love, as Phil felt.

“A council, Dan. My council. Say, five people with royal blood and five commoners. Laws would have to pass through all of us, not just me. As monarch, I have too much power. I’d feel much better distributing it a bit and that way, I can gain unique perspectives I wouldn’t possible have access to just on my own.”

“Isn’t that… against traditions or illegal or something?” Dan asked.

“No,” Phil exclaimed. “It’s not because as the monarch I can do whatever the hell I want! There are no restrictions on what I’m allowed to do and there should be. Just like we shouldn’t discriminate against the people who had horrible ancestors, we can’t guarantee that someone will be a just and fair monarch just because their parent might have been.”

“Clearly,” Dan said, undoubtedly thinking of the old monarch who had almost ruined his life. “I get what you’re saying.”

“And it’s perfect, isn’t it? I’ll be able to have both Martyn and my mother weigh in on all the important decisions along with Cornelia. And Elena isn’t likely to be very welcome in her homeland right now because the engagement fell through and Sean can’t go back home either, at least not if he’s not willing to challenge his younger brother to a duel of death. And then there’s the people who have always provided me with advice when being royalty got a bit much: Daisy, her father and Willard. Oh, and we have to have Florian on too because his loyalty is unshakable.”

“That’s only nine people,” Dan noted.

Phil hadn’t even realised that he had missed out the most important one. He supposed it must be because it was just so evident to him that Dan would have to be in the council as well. He was supposed to be next to Phil in life, so Phil hadn’t even thought it necessary to mention him.

“You’re the tenth one, Dan. Obviously.”

~*~

Obviously.

It wasn’t obvious to Dan. He wasn’t even a regular commoner. He had moved past below that when he became a personal servant. And unlike all the other commoners, the castle didn’t employ him. He had been dragged here in chains and technically kept here against his will.

“I’m not like the other people on your list, Phil. I haven’t been your best friend in years, the court physician, the stables’ blacksmith or a loyal guard.”

“No? So what?” Phil said, as if he couldn’t comprehend what Dan was getting at.

“I don’t belong in a council with all of those people, Phil. Never mind all the royals on the other side of the board. I don’t have any valuable input. I wasn’t even smart enough to secure a scholarship.”

“Dan,” Phil said and put his hands on Dan’s shoulders. “I love you and I know you can be self-deprecating at times but trust me on this, you will add value to that council and so much more than you might realise. It was only because of you that I even got the idea. I will never be able to understand how it was to become a personal servant because of my privileged birth. I won’t know how it feels with the law is turned against you and everything you have is ripped apart because you were unfortunate. I can be empathetic but I can never feel it in my bones like you do. You represent all those people who had their voice taken away. I might never be able to understand what you went through but the least I can do is give a voice to your perspective. And on top of that, you’re one of the smartest people that I know, education or not. I hear how you talk, your understanding of politics despite never being involved with them, you philosophical streak and your hunger to grow. Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough, Dan.”

Dan felt tears stinging in his eyes but he didn’t reach up to wipe them away. He let them fall and Phil reached out a thumb to catch the falling tear.

“We will be one united kingdom. Nobility and blood shouldn’t matter. We will look out for everyone. I’m just asking you to help me. I can’t do it on my own. I’ve been terrified of that my whole life but with you and the other people I trust so much, then I think maybe I could do it.”

“Do you see the irony in the fact that your uncle fought so hard to keep the power and you’re giving it away after having had it for mere minutes?” Dan asked and sniffled as he looked at Phil with his slightly red-rimmed eye.

“Power can do ugly things left in the hands of a single man. But if I divide it around to some of the smartest and most compassionate people that I know, then it can do a whole world more of good.”

“You should say some of this stuff in your speech,” Dan pointed out. “About the council and trying to make sure everyone’s voice is heard. So many have been silenced for so long.”

“So you’ll join? You know I’d never force you to do anything but I just…”

Dan held up a hand to stop Phil’s babbling. He hadn’t imagined that Phil would ask something so big of him. Not so soon at least but he found that he wasn’t all that surprised.

“I’m with you, Phil. I have been from the start.”

“Good because I want you to come with me into the dungeons to talk to Rex before I have to address the people. I want to make sure that I have his permission to openly state his involvement.”

“It would get out anyway, wouldn’t it?” Dan asked.

“Possibly but I want to ask him anyway. He did help us in the end and I think he deserves at least my considerations.”

“You’re a better man than me, Lester. But I already knew that,” Dan said.

Dan could see that Phil was just about to open his mouth to argue against that, so Dan leaned in and pressed an open mouthed kiss to Phil’s lips. Phil predictably kept his tongue and kissed Dan back.

He was kissing the King in the Grand Hall. But more importantly, he was kissing Phil without any law binding the two of them together.

~*~

Phil hated the dungeons but he still felt that it was paramount to pay a visit to Rex. It helped having Dan at his side and his hand in Dan’s because it made the nightmare vision of Dan locked in the cell go away.

Phil had been haunted by that image of Dan locked to the wall in this dank place. Phil had almost torn himself apart when he heard what had happened to Dan because he knew he could have prevented the assault if Dan just had agreed to flee with him hours earlier. However, if that had happened, they might never have seen each other again.

Now that Phil felt Dan’s hand warm in his, he couldn’t bring himself to regret how things turned out, even if he wished that Dan hadn’t had to go through so much hurt.

The guard at the entry told them where Rex was located, and as Phil had been asked, it was in the opposite side of where the former King had been placed in a solitary cell. Phil was very grateful that his uncle was in a padded cell, which meant he could talk to any of the other inmates.

The other inmates started making noises, calling them names and clanging cups against the bars but Phil stopped in the middle of the row and cleared his throat. It wasn’t loud enough to be heard, so Dan lifted his hand to his lips and let out a loud whistle, which made everyone quiet for a moment. Phil shot Dan an appreciative glance.

“I understand the hatred many of you must feel for someone wearing the crown,” Phil said and reached up to adjust the object on his head. “I do not blame you but I can assure you that tomorrow, me and my council will look at all of your arrest records to determine if you should be down here at all. I know the King had a tendency to just throw his enemies down here without a trial. This will not stand anymore. Everyone will get a proper trail, I can assure you of that. But for now, I ask of you that you grant me a moment to talk to my distant cousin. Please?”

~*~

Dan stifled a chuckle. He was pretty sure that none of these people had ever heard a King say please before and that might be why they quieted down. Or it might be the sheer surprise that they were finally to be granted a proper trial.

With the silence settled over the dungeon, Phil pulled Dan along to the cell at the end of the hall, where they saw Rex curled up in the corner but thankfully not chained to the wall like Dan had been. Rex got up on his feet slowly and walked right up to the bars and rested his arms on them and leaned as close as he could get.

“Hi Philly,” Rex said and Dan could hear that he wasn’t so pleased. “Nice of you to come to visit.”

“Rex,” Phil said. “You know that I do not like when you call me that, so I know it must be a ploy to get on my nerves. It will not work. Like I promised, you will stand a proper trial for your crimes. Hopefully, tomorrow if it can be arranged but for now I come with a question for you.”

“Uhh, I can’t wait to hear what the almighty King want from me. You know, while I’ve been down here, I started to wonder if you wanted this to be the outcome from the start and you were just the better manipulator. After all, you now hold all of the power, just like your uncle did.”

Dan started to move forward to say a few choice words to Rex but Phil placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

“I am not my uncle, Rex. And for what it is worth, I am sorry that you got wrapped up in all of this, even if it was your own fault. I will be nothing like my uncle and I do not intend to hold all of the power. No one should hold that much power, so I will distribute it between my trusted allies instead. But what I am here for, is to ask permission to mention your involvement in my father’s murder when I address the people later today.”

Rex frowned and the confusion was clear on his face.

“My permission? Why? I couldn’t do anything to prevent you from saying whatever you want.”

“No, but I am asking because it is the right thing to do. We all know the old King is the real culprit here. So if you want me to keep quiet of your involvement, I will not mention it. However, I cannot guarantee that it won’t come out after your trial.”

Rex pulled his arms out from where they were resting on the bars and stepped back and turned his back to Dan and Phil and lowered his head a bit.

“You can tell them, Phil. I have to stand by my actions, no matter how ugly,” Rex said in a small voice but then he turned around and looked straight at Phil. “And I am the one who needs to apologise. I am sorry that I got your father killed, Phil. No excuses, no explanations, no diversions. I am sorry. Truly.”

~*~

Phil had not been expecting a proper apology from Rex and he felt as if he might cry.

“Oh… thank you, Rex. Though, if you’re asking for forgiveness, I’m -”

“No,” Rex interrupted. “You shouldn’t have to forgive someone who helped get your father killed. I would not ask that of even a man like you. But you needed to know that I am sorry.”

“Thank you, Rex. I will have to get going but I will be present at your trial and I promise it will be fair.”

“It won’t when they learn of my father’s ancestry. A tyrant like me will be sentenced to death.”

“You’re wrong, Rex,” Dan said. “Phil is already in the process of changing those laws.”

“It’s because of that guard, isn’t it?”

Rex couldn’t possibly mean Sean, could he?

“The crown prince who was allegedly killed? James. I read up on my father’s homeland, you know. I know he works as a guard here. I don’t know why but I know that he does.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Phil asked.

Rex just shrugged. “I know what it’s like to be running from your past, especially a kingdom like that. And to be fair, I didn’t know that he was a friend of yours until I saw him in the Grand Hall.”

Phil wasn’t sure what to think of Rex anymore but he was happy that he would have the board of royal advisors and hopefully his King’s council by the time Rex would stand trial.

“You should go,” Rex said. “The people are waiting for you.”

Phil could feel the clear dismissal in Rex’s voice but his legs didn’t want to move until Dan caught his elbow and started moving him down the hall and out of the dungeons.

“Just when you think you have Rex figured out,” Dan muttered as they walked through the halls back to their chambers.

“Yeah, I know,” Phil agreed. “I think it just shows us that no one is ever simple to understand. I mean, even my uncle had reasons that made him build up resentment against his parents. I’m not excusing his, or Rex’s, behaviour at all but without good people in your life, I feel like it’s easy to be steered down the wrong path.”

Phil was so terrified that he would go down the wrong path as well. However, he knew it was much less likely to happen if he could establish the council. He would just have to get all of them into a room and speak to them before he addressed the people.

He wanted to be able to walk out on that balcony, overlooking the crowd of people gathered below, and tell them that they would be safe again. Everyone in his kingdom should be able to feel safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The keen observer might notice that I put this ending at 39 chapters instead of 37. Sorry to prolong it but like I suspected, I wasn't able to fit everything into just one final chapter. And I think I've decided on doing an epilogue, so unfortunately you'll have to wait a little to read the last bit. But I hope you liked this real penultimate chapter! Isn't Phil adorable with his new crown? And Rex actually apologised like Dan urged him to! What do you think of the council idea? It's actually similar to what someone of you seemed to sense in how Phil would rule as a King. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Next chapter will be the final one (I promise) and I hope to have it up according to the normal schedule but it isn't written quite yet, so positive writing vibes are very appreciated. I also just want to say thank you to everyone for reading again. I'm going to miss doing weekly updates so much and having so many lovely and thoughtful comments every week.


	38. A King and His Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, Phil would have to address the people he wanted in his council. Then he'd have to address the people. But most importantly, he would be able to do all of it while knowing he had the full support and love of Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not emotional. You're emotional. Welcome to the final chapter of the story. Please let me know your thoughts when you've read it. *waits anxiously*

Dan was standing back in the Grand Hall along with Phil and nine of their allies. It had taken about an hour to be able to collect everyone and the time for Phil’s speech to the people was drawing nearer.

With a glance out the window, you could see that the masses were already gathering. When word had reached the people yesterday, it had been evident that there had been both celebrations and restless nights.

The people didn’t know much about their new King Philip.

Phil had made sure that no one knew much about him at all. He had tried his best to avoid the spotlight growing up because he had always been treated differently whenever he met someone. Everyone wanted to kiss his boots and gain his favour because of his family.

Dan worried that it might intensify for poor Phil but at the same time, Dan hoped that if Phil actually just addressed them instead of turning his back, then things would be different. They would see what a wonderful and honest person Phil was but also how “ordinary” he was as well. He was a regular guy despite having grown up in the castle.

In Dan’s eyes, Phil was extraordinary for a whole lot of reasons but he was still at his heart just a normal guy and that was a good thing.

However, Dan felt very much out of place lined up along with royals and commoners; all the people that Phil had mentioned before. Several of them had asked what was going on as they entered but Phil had politely asked them to wait until everyone had arrived. With Willard, the blacksmith, entering the Grand Hall hesitantly, it was finally a full house. Dan was surprised that he only felt a mildly uncomfortable shiver go down his back at seeing Willard’s beard.

It was hardly there. Almost unnoticeable.

Dan remembered how he had felt physically ill when Phil had taken him to the blacksmith to have his cuffs removed. Now Dan smiled at the burly man approached.

Phil turned to address the crowd and cleared his throat. The small chatter died down instantly but Daisy poked an elbow into Dan’s ribs and Dan tried not to wince too much as she hit right on a still-healing injury by mistake.

“What is he about to say?” she asked in a whisper. “Did he propose or something?”

Dan felt his stomach flip and he was very grateful that she had kept her voice low. But all this talk of proposal made Dan’s head swim. He had never thought that he would get the chance to get married at all and certainly not to the kingdom’s king. It wasn’t on the table.

Phil might still tire of him, Dan thought, but as he did, he looked up to the man he loved, jittery and nervous about this whole thing. Once their eyes locked, Phil looked instantly calmer.

“No,” Dan hissed back at the nosy kitchen maid.

She hummed in a conspiracy way that made Dan’s heart do a little flip along with his stomach. But now was not time for this. Phil needed to say something very important and he needed to do it rather quickly because it wouldn’t be long before he would have to speak to the people.

There was also the fact that Martyn kept throwing glances in Sean’s direction, even if he had made no move to address Sean yet. But Dan could see at Sean’s obvious discomfort that he had realised that his secret must be out.

Dan looked up to Phil and he hoped that all of these people could be brought together.

~*~

Ten of the most important people in Phil’s life were standing right in front of him. He had always been terrible at addressing crowds but he knew that he had to get better at it.

Starting with his nearest and dearest might not have been the right approach though because he felt increasingly anxious. With Willard arrived, he could not postpone it any longer.

He looked out over the small crowd and he saw how Daisy stuck an elbow into Dan’s side and how he tried to cover up that she obviously hurt him a little. Phil needed to have a word with his old best friend not to be so violent with his new best friend, even if he knew that she wasn’t doing it on purpose. She was a touchy person, just as Phil was.

Dan hadn’t been for the longest time but gradually; he had become more comfortable with causal touches, from Phil and his new friends. Phil couldn’t hear what Dan and Daisy were talking about but Dan looked up and found Phil’s eyes and Phil breathed out a little easier.

He could do this. He knew all of these people. He knew what he needed to tell them – at least in the broad strokes – and he had the courage to do it.

“If I could just have everyone’s attention,” Phil requested. “Thank you for coming here. I know it might seem rather odd.”

“Shouldn’t you be working on your speech for the people, boy?” Willard asked and he looked rather confused.

Phil was pretty sure that the blacksmith hadn’t ever been in the Grand Hall. Not a lot of people had. It had been reserved for those who had noble blood or worked within the castle. But those days were over.

“I should probably,” Phil answered honestly. “But before I can address the people, I need to have word with all of you. You are all important to me in one way or another. I trust you. I value your opinions. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you. I wouldn’t be King. As some or all of you might know, I did not want the throne for the longest time. However, after what has passed, I have been thrown into a role I was never sure that I could fill. Certainly, I could not fill it alone.”

“You’re never alone, sweetheart,” his mother said.

“Yeah, I know that. Thanks, Mum,” Phil said and felt heat rise to his cheeks. He looked over to Dan again and held his gaze as he spoke again. “Which brings me onto the reason that I have asked you to come here. I know I will have a board of royal advisors but that isn’t enough for me. I don’t want to be one all-powerful King. One person should never have access to that much power, so I want to create a council of my most trusted allies. The council will be consisting of five commoners, five royals and myself. Every law, every major decision, will have to be approved by a majority of the council. That way the power will not go unchecked.”

“You’re seriously going to ask a tyrant to join your council?” Martyn asked and Phil saw how Sean instantly seemed to reach for the weapon at his side, even if he made no real move to retrieve it.

Martyn didn’t sound mean-spirited. He just sounded confused. Phil could understand that. He had grown up being influenced by the same biased view. If Sean hadn’t told how their father had saved his life, then Phil might not have been so quick to accept someone who was a descendant from the man who singlehandedly slaughtered almost all of your family.

“Yes, I am, Martyn,” Phil said and he straightened his back and looked directly at his older brother.

He had never had the guts to confront Martyn on any issue at all. He was always under the impression that his big brother could do no wrong. But Martyn was wrong about this and he needed to be told that.

It was the same reason that Phil wanted to establish the council in the first place. He needed to make sure that prejudice didn’t blind him and that if it did, someone would tell him and stop him from making a grave mistake. Martyn and the others would be able to do that for him in the future but right now it was Phil’s turn.

~*~

Dan held his breath as Martyn spoke and Sean went into his natural defence position. Phil would have his work cut out for him with this one. But Martyn didn’t sound hostile like he did just hours before, so clearly he did have some time to think it over.

And speaking to him would be good for Phil for two different reasons. Firstly, he needed practice of how to address the presence of Sean on the council, if he could get him accepted as many of the people currently gathering outside might share the same prejudice that Martyn did. Secondly, Phil needed to learn to actually argue with his brother on equal footing and not just act like the little brother in awe of the big brother. He wasn’t that young shy kid anymore.

“Sean has been invaluable to getting Dan back. Without Dan, we would never have known that our father was actually murdered. It was also our father that saved Sean and spared his life and even gave him a home here because he saw past Sean’s heritage. I understand your hesitance, I truly do, but Sean is a good man as good as they come. I trust him, with my life, Martyn. I’m not asking you to understand right now. I know you’ll get to see for yourself what kind of a man Sean is. Right now, I’m just asking you to believe that I know good character when I see it.”

Dan watched the way the two brothers were locked onto each other. Phil didn’t crouch down or sound unsure. His voice and posture was steady. He didn’t sound belittling or demanding. He was asking for understanding. He was asking Martyn to trust his sound judgement.

“Okay,” Martyn said eventually. “I know I’m acting irrational about it. It’s just… for years, I’ve only heard horrible tales of your people, Sean.”

“Permission to speak?” Sean asked Phil.

“Sean, you can always speak in front of me. You know that,” Phil replied.

“Prince Martyn,” Sean said, using the proper address that Martyn technically didn’t have anymore. “I understand. The horror stories are true. I have seen them. I have lived them. There are terrible people from my country but you only hear about those people. You don’t hear about the farmers working until their hands bleed under terrible conditions, so they can feed their family. You don’t hear about the nurses, who are providing healthcare outside of the system for all the youngsters getting beaten up. You don’t hear about the liberal royal teacher who tells a young prince that if he doesn’t want to kill his father, he doesn’t have to. I know my people are known for being brutal but those are just loud minority, my lord.”

Silence settled after Sean’s words. It was odd how he could switch between being a commoner guard and a prince in just one breath. The way he eloquently spoke was a testament to his education but he still kept his head bowed and used formal address to show his respect of Martyn. He was one and the same person.

Everyone in the room looked a little stunted.

“I…” Martyn started to say but then seemed to be unable to finish until he took a moment to think his words through. “You are right, Sean. I have not heard of those everyday heroes. I apologise for my negligence.”

“Thank you, Martyn. And Sean,” Phil said and he was smiling like a little sun.

Granted, Dan always thought he resembled literal sunshine, so he might be somewhat biased about that too.

~*~

Phil could see how Martyn took a moment and properly consider Sean’s words and re-evaluated. He couldn’t be more proud of all of them.

He cleared his throat and continued. “Like I was saying before. I want to create a council. I will not force anyone to join but I have asked all of you here today because I think you’ll be able to provide invaluable insight that will help this kingdom, whether you are from here or foreign.”

Phil was so nervous and he could feel his palms turn clammy but he had to persevere. If he wanted all of these people on his council he had to properly ask them. Individually. He started with the easiest person.

“Mother,” he said and reached out both hands which she happily took, sweaty palms or not. “You are the wisest woman that I know. You had to be taught how to behave here in the castle when you married my father. I know that you will be able to bring both his spirit and your own wisdom to my council. I could not imagine not seeking your counsel, so would you please join me in ruling the kingdom?”

“Of course, I will, my son,” his mother said and leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.

Phil smiled and let his hands drop as he moved onto Martyn.

“My dear brother, my strong big brother, who always protected me. I know how you took up more fencing lessons to make sure I would be forced into it. You have travelled the world. I have always been scared to confront you but I think we both just proved a little critical discussion could do wonders. I hope you will keep me on my toes and make sure I do not mess up. I cannot give you the crown, no matter how much I would like to, but would you please stand by my side in the council?”

“Always, Phil,” Martyn said as he pulled Phil into a hug. “I love you so much and you’re going to be the best King ever. You are already. We’ll keep each other in check. With all that we learnt from Dad, we should be able to do it.”

Phil felt a little choked up already and wasn’t even halfway through.

“Cornelia,” he said when Martyn let him go. “I want you on the council, not just because you married my brother but because your clear head and insights have helped us many times already. You will make sure we do not become emotional shut-ins. I would be honoured if you would join the council.”

“I will, King Philip,” Cornelia said and did a curtsey before making a funny grimace and moving in to hug him tightly instead.

“Princess Elena. I can never thank you enough for all that you have done for me and Dan. You had just met me and yet you chose to risk everything to help me. Your kindness shines through in your every action and I know you might be longing to return home but you have a place in the council, if you want it, for how long you want.”

Elena did a shy smile. “I cannot return home just yet with the word of our engagement ending.”

Phil felt so terrible that he was about to open his mouth and apologise but Elena held up a finger to indicate that she wasn’t finished speaking.

“I do not blame you, Phil. I made my choice and I stand by it. But I would love to stay here until I figure out what to do. And I would love to help rebuild your kingdom. And who knows, I might even find a suitable husband in the process.”

Phil caught the discreet glance cast in Sean’s direction but he didn’t comment on it. He wasn’t sure that Elena would say yes, and despite it being horrible that she couldn’t quite return home, Phil was willing to house her forever if he had to.

As Phil moved onto Sean, he looked about ready to bolt.

“Phil,” Sean said before Phil could get a word out. “While I greatly appreciate the invitation, I must remind you of the history between our people. My presence here will not be well-received. You know this. With me on this council, people will learn of my identity.”

“Are you worried?” Phil asked.

“What? No, I have been in hiding for long enough. Even if the news reached my home kingdom, no one would believe it. But I am worried about you instantly making your own people hate you for bringing a… tyrant – that is you call us, right? – into your inner circle. It’s a bold move.”

“Sean, I too am trying to prove that I am nothing like the man who has had power in my kingdom. I might share a last name and blood with him but I will have to show people that I am nothing like him. And that includes having someone like you by my side openly. I am not worried about the people’s reaction to you. They will see reason. I have faith in them.”

Sean smiled a little and rocked from side to side. “If you truly mean it-“

“I do,”

“-then I will do it,” Sean said and held out a hand, which Phil took and shook.

“Florian, buddy,” Phil said as he moved onto the sixth person.

“I am not worthy to be standing in this company,” Florian said.

“Yes, you are,” Phil countered. “You are brave and loyal to the bone. You are a noble man, even if you are not of noble blood. I know you know a lot more than you realise, which will be able to help the kingdom. I assure you. Please trust my judgement. Will you join me?”

“Of course, sire.”

“We’re equals here, Florian.”

“Thank you, Phil. And my daughter thanks you as well.”

Phil had already started to move on but he stopped in his tracks. Daughter? What?

Phil must have look significantly confused because Florian elaborated.

“My wife died in childbirth five years ago. Everyone thinks that the baby did not survive. I did not want her registered as a citizen, so she has been living in hiding. I couldn’t let her grow up to be eighteen because I would never be able to have the finances to save her. But now that the law will be changed, she can live a full life. I will never be able to thank you enough.”

“Did you know?” Phil turned to ask Daisy, who looked a little smug.

“Of course, I know that my boyfriend has a daughter, Phil. That was why I was worried about him getting involved with all these dangerous feats. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I had promised Florian to keep it secret.”

“No, it’s fine. I understand. It’s just a lot to process,” Phil said and paused for a moment. “You risked opposing the King when you had a young daughter to take care of?” Phil asked Florian.

“Yes, because I believe in you, Phil.”

Phil felt so rocked and unsure, as he moved onto Willard.

“What am I doing here, lil’ Philip? I don’t see any horses in need of shoeing?”

“No,” Phil replied with a smile. “But I know that you will be invaluable to this council. If anyone can handle half a ton of terrifying horse, they can handle pretty much anything. Besides, you were there to help me when I had to learn to be around the horses. The patience you showed with me is an amazing ability. Will you please join the council?”

“If you think an old blacksmith like myself can help the kingdom, then sure. But I will continue to take care of the horses.”

“Of course, the council will not take up all of your time,” Phil assured him.

“If that is true, then I will join too,” Doctor Day confirmed. “I will keep my practice and provide insights when you need them and weigh in on decision making.”

“You don’t want me to tell you why you’re here?” Phil asked with a smile.

Doctor Day had always been very straightforward and Phil wasn’t surprised that he was jumping ahead.

“I assume it has something to do with my medical expertise and my knowledge of the castle’s history.”

“No,” Phil said. “Well, those are great but I wanted you here because you have always been devoted to helping people in any way you could. And I know that not many would have dared to let a royal prince run around with his daughter, with all the instant rumours. You are a wise man and you do not care what people say about you.”

Phil reached out a hand and Doctor Day shook it.

“And Daisy-“

“You’re lucky you put me on here or I would have kicked your butt, Lester.”

“You’re one of my best friends. You’re my first real friend. You always fight for what you think is right. You challenge dumb rules. You work harder than anyone I know. You made me feel less alone. Of course, you’re on the council, if you will accept the spot.”

“Damn well, I will!” Daisy said and punched Phil in the arm and jumped around on the spot with excited glee.

And now there was just one more person to ask. Well, ask again.

~*~

Dan had been getting more and more emotional with each invite that Phil had extended. Phil had talked to everyone but him. He knew that his answer was a technicality because he had already confirmed that he was with Phil. No matter what.

“And lastly Dan, I want you to join me and this council. Join me without any laws binding you. I do not only want you here for your personal experience being abused by the law. I want you here because of how you think and how you are willing to fight anything, even if you get hurt yourself. You never let the cruel world suffocate your fire. Without you, we would not have been able to bring my uncle down from the throne and for me to take my claim of it. Please, do not let me rule alone,” Phil asked and reached out his hand.

Fuck handshakes or hugs, Dan thought, and almost jumped into Phil’s arms. He kissed him right there in the middle of the Grand Hall in front of everyone. They might as well have everything out in the open.

Daisy cheered instantly and someone, probably Martyn, whistled. Dan smiled against Phil’s lips and felt how Phil’s arms had instantly wrapped around his body, holding him.

“Ten out of ten, Phil!” Martyn yelled.

Dan wasn’t sure how to feel about all of that and he could see that Phil wasn’t sure how to react either. Dan knew they were in front of Phil’s family and their friends but he still couldn’t let himself step out of Phil’s embrace.

“You will be a wonderful King, Phil.”

“I know I will,” Phil said and it was the first time that Phil sounded like he genuinely and truly believed that. “Now, that I have all of you. I will be a wonderful King because I’m not sharing the throne alone. I will have all of you with me.”

Phil’s words prompted an improvised group hug and Dan let it happened and he was pleased that clinging tightly to Phil made it so that the old alarm bells only sounded vaguely. Wrapped up by Phil’s arms, he knew that nothing could hurt him, even if people surrounded him.

He hadn’t been sure that he belonged in the council but looking around at all of the people that Phil had carefully picked out, Dan did feel at home.

It wasn’t the life he had imagined that he would ever be leading. In fact, he had only thought that he would last a few more years until something or someone killed him but now he stood in the midst of a mix of nobles and commoners and together they made the council that would make all the important decisions for the kingdom.

It was surreal. But Phil’s arms around him reassured him that this was really happening. It was okay.

The law would be broken soon. He would be by Phil’s side because he wanted to and not because he was bound to him. Dan could feel an unfamiliar feeling bubble up in his chest.

He had forgotten how real happiness felt like.

He looked at Phil smiling, with his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth and pure mirth in his eyes. Happiness was looking at the man he loved.

Happiness was that man looking back with the same intensity and fondness in his eyes.

Phil would still have to speak to the public in less than an hour but Dan could already see how having the council backing him made Phil stand that much taller.

He wasn’t alone in this. He would never be alone.

Dan would make sure of that personally if he had to.

~*~

After Phil had talked to all of his family, friends and allies, he felt like he could do anything in the whole wide world. Even addressing all of the people gathered outside and announcing to them that he was their monarch.

He didn’t have a written speech. But he didn’t need one. He knew what he wanted to say to them. He could speak from the heart because he had finally learnt to embrace the strength of his heart.

He had thought that he would be destined to be trapped in a marriage with a foreign princess and never be allowed to find true happiness. He had thought that his uncle would continue his horrible reign for years and years to come. He had thought that he would never be able to do anything to help his people.

Now, after everything that had happened since Dan had come into his life, he knew that he had been mistaken. He was entitled to happiness and he had found it. He had gotten the crown on his head. He would be able to help people now.

Phil was standing at the edge of the balcony where he’d have to step out to address the chanting masses below. Two curtains made up a little space where someone could wait away from prying eyes.

He could feel the tension in the air. The people were nervous to meet him. Oddly, that served to calm Phil’s own nerves.

“Hey,” Dan said, moved the first curtain aside and stepped up from behind Phil and wrapped his arms around Phil’s slightly shaking body. Phil hadn’t realised that he had been shaking but he felt how he felt calmer with Dan this close.

Dan was hugging him. Phil leaned back and let Dan support some of his weight.

“You’ve got this,” Dan whispered in his ear, his voice quiet and only for Phil to hear. However, even though Dan did not raise his voice, Phil could hear the unwavering certainty in it.

“This is really happening,” Phil said. “I’m their King. I have to tell them that, Dan.”

“They are the luckiest people in all of the kingdoms, Phil. Or should I say we are. You’re my King too, you know.”

Phil turned around in Dan’s embrace and Dan’s hands lingered on Phil’s side, as they were brought face to face. Even in the low light of the enclosed space between the two curtains, Dan’s eyes looked so stunning up close, warm and light.

“I’m so much more than just your King, Dan. I want to be so much more to you.”

“Please tell me all of this proposal talk hasn’t gone to your head,” Dan said with a little nervous smile.

Phil shook his head and reached up to swipe his thumb across Dan’s cheek, right where it was currently displaying the dimple.

“It’s the way someone like me is thought to think about relationships. If you find yourself someone you want to spend your whole life with, you propose. It’s not as odd. But I’m not proposing,” Phil hurried to say when he saw worry flash across Dan’s eyes. “I just want you to know how much you matter to me. We still have so much to figure out. Our lives are about to change.”

“They already changed when we met each other,” Dan said. “I can take all the changes that life throws at me, as long as I get to keep you.”

Phil leaned in to press a kiss to Dan’s lips and it might be because of all the emotions swirling in his chest but he felt like it was their best kiss yet. It was tender and comfortable but there was the undercurrent of passion and emotions. And Phil knew he still had many future best kisses to experience with Dan and he smiled into the kiss.

The chanting had died down as they started kissing. The big bell sounded, chiming to let Phil know that it was time for him to step out onto the balcony. Part of him wanted to drag Dan out there with him, but now wasn’t the time to introduce Dan.

But Phil would do that one-day.

“Go tell them, Phil,” Dan said as he broke away for a beat before going back in to press their lips together again.

“I hope they’ll like me,” Phil said, a little nervously.

Dan pulled him forward into a hug.

“They’ll love you. Even if they need to get to know you before you get there. But they will. Because you will show them that they can trust you. Again and again, you will prove that you are trustworthy. They will see it and they will fall in love with you.”

“Are we still talking about the people?” Phil asked, in a hushed whisper as his heart was racing.

“I’m your people too,” Dan said and while Phil couldn’t see his face when they were locked in a hug, he could hear the smug smile in Dan’s voice.

“You’re my Dan,” Phil corrected and hesitantly pulled back from the hug.

“And you’ll always be my Phil,” Dan said. “Now, go.”

Phil nodded and stepped back. He would have to go. They were waiting for him. He took a deep breath and looked back at Dan one more time before stepping through the curtain and going out onto the balcony.

Phil looked out over the thousands of people gathered and he stepped up to the microphone. He had had countless nightmares about this very thing happening because he had been sure that he’d never be able to be a good monarch to the people. He didn’t feel like that anymore. Because of everyone and how they all believed in him, he had started to believe it himself.

“Hello everyone. Thank you for coming out here today. As you know, the former King had been removed from the throne. He violated a law. That’s why he got removed. But that is not the whole story. As many of you might know, he was not a kind or just man. He failed all of you as a ruler. And two months ago, he went as far as having his own brother murdered,” Phil said and he could hear the gasps even all the way up here.

He steadied himself as the grief welled up inside of his chest and his eyes stung.

“I am next in line to be King, so today this crown was placed upon my head. I know some of you might not even know how I am. But my name is Phil and from today, I am your King. I understand that many of you will be worried about how I will rule because you all have suffered under my uncle’s terror. He made laws that took away your rights. He held all of the power and he could to whatever he wanted. Let me say this, I will be nothing like my uncle. I have already had the personal servant law abolished. Hopefully, already from tomorrow, there will no longer be such a thing as personal servants. Everyone is to be set free. No one is allowed to hold anyone against their will. I will deploy guards in patrols all over the kingdom over the coming weeks to make sure everyone honours this.”

“Don’t you have one yourself?” someone shouted from down the crowd and their voice was booming enough that Phil could hear it.

Phil hadn’t been planning on engagement from the crowd but he supposed that he would have to get used to listening to his people and it was a valid question.

“Yes,” Phil confirmed. “I did. But I never hurt him. I always treated him like a friend. I never approved of the law but living in this castle under my uncle’s rule, I had to obey, just like you did as citizens. The man who came into my life as my personal servant became a most trusted friend and ally.”

And so much more, but now wasn’t time to tell them that.

“You will get to meet him and hear it from him yourself, if you should so wish. Because he is part of something I have instituted just an hour ago, which I call the King’s council. Ten of my most trusted allies have been gathered in a council and all important decisions and laws have to pass through them as well and not just me. I do not have all the power anymore. Five royals and five commoners will stand beside me. You will all get to meet them soon. Too long, hierarchy and nobility have divided us. We are all just people and we will all be treated equally in this kingdom. In _our_ kingdom. I don’t expect you to take my word for it. You have been given false promises before. I will show you action instead. I will show you that my council and I can be trusted. We will be an equal society again. No one will be enslaved because of their financial status. We will help those who are struggling instead of blaming them. I know you have no reason to believe the word of a King Lester, so for now I just ask for a chance to show you who I am and what I stand for. I will show you that I can be trusted. I promise you that. Thank you for your time.”

As Phil said that, he finally managed to actually look at the people in the crowd below him, rather than just looking out. Some people were crying. Some were just watching in awe. Others looked suspicious. A whole bunch of them were smiling.

“Long live King Phil,” someone shouted and other people started picking it up. Slowly, the chant spread through the whole crowd below him. Phil just stood stunted, a little pulled back from the edge as he watched.

He felt someone touch the back of his hand and turned to see Dan smiling brightly at him. Dan was still half-hidden by the curtains and he was ducked down so he wasn’t visible to the people below.

Dan tugged him by the hand, just a gentle guiding movement but Phil followed willingly, away from the balcony and the crowd. He would follow Dan absolutely anywhere. He hadn’t been able to leave Dan in the Grand Hall on the first day that they met, and he would continue to choose Dan over and over again.

“You did amazingly, Phil,” Dan said and he hadn’t even needed to say the words because Phil could see it in Dan’s eyes, which were full of light, love and happiness.

“Dan, I wouldn’t have been able to get here without you. Without getting to know you and to be able to learn from you, I’d never been strong enough to do this. Thank you for trusting me.”

“Trust me, I’m the one who is grateful we found each other. No matter who fucked up or unrealistic foundation we met on. We’re here now. Together. In love. Meeting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.”

Phil almost tackled Dan to the ground with a forceful hug. Dan let out a startled laugh and clung onto Phil and Phil felt laughter bubble up in his own throat as well. They had so much to do still. The wheels were in motions but things couldn’t be changed in a single day.

It would take a long time. Years. Maybe it would even take a lifetime.

But Phil couldn’t think of a better way to spend his life than fighting side by side with Dan and their allies and their community to make the world a better place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have it. The final chapter of Trust Me, I'm Broken Too. This story has been such a wild experience to write. It kept growing and growing and I kept adding characters and plot points and all the while steadily building up the relationship between the boys. I have loved to play around with the character development (genuinely one of my favourite things about writing) and in this one, I'm so happy with how everything turned out. I'm always scared of writing endings because I fear that they fall short but I hope you liked this final chapter. I have so much for all the characters and the universe of this story and I'm just getting more and more emotional writing this penultimate author's note. Thank you to all of the people who has read this all the way through, left kudos and especially left continuous comments. I can't imagine how odd it's going to be not to have to update it every Saturday and have the joy of seeing your comments tick in. It's been such a wonderful experience and I hope that maybe some of you stick around here to see what I might write in the future. If you're on tumblr, you can find me on [@natigail](http://natigail.tumblr.com) and [@secretlywritingstories](http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com). I'll miss you all so much.
> 
> I'm still planning on adding an epilogue, which will hopefully be ready to go up on next Saturday. I hope to see you there.


	39. Epilogue: No One Thought They Could, Yet They Did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years down the road. A kingdom in harmony. Power distributed. The people quietly speculating about King Phil and his former personal servant Dan. The two boys, in the middle of the night in the royal garden in front of the fountain, having an important conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. One final look at the boys. I'm going to miss writing them so damn much. Thank you for everyone who has read it all the way to the end. I'll see you in the end note. Enjoy!

“You’ve never gone out here without waking me,” Dan said as he walked out into the garden, bathed in soft moonlight from above.

Phil was sitting on the bench in front of the fountain, his robe pulled up to cover the lower part of his face. He looked otherworldly, even after Dan had known him for five years. He had been King for over four years now.

The people loved King Phil. The former King’s gruesome laws had been abolished. The King’s Council had been accepted with open arms and Dan was happy to be sat on it, despite his initial reluctance.

He and Phil still shared their old chambers. Phil hadn’t wanted to move into the official King’s chambers where his uncle had lived. The two of them still went on moonlit walks around the garden whenever one of them couldn’t sleep.

Well, until right now. Dan had woken up to find the other side of the bed empty. Panic had risen in his chest; worry instant, if something had happened to his precious Phil. Only when he’d rushed out into the garden and spotted Phil, his heartbeat started to slow back down.

However, it was unusual for Phil to leave the bed without telling him.

“Phil?” Dan called softly, when Phil didn’t react to his words.

Phil’s face snapped in Dan’s direction and he immediately broke out into a smile.

“Hey Dan.”

“What are you doing out here alone?” Dan asked, and walked over to sit by Phil.

He sat so close that their thighs pressed against each other and Phil instantly reached out to intertwine their fingers. Dan wasn’t worried that Phil was upset with him. He never worried about that anymore. If they ever had any arguments or differing opinions – which was rare in itself – they always talked things out.

“Do you know what day it is?”

“Technically, it’s Sunday because it’s past midnight.”

Phil rolled his eyes fondly and looked straight ahead to the fountain.

“If that had been us,” Phil said and indicated the figurines, “and you had begged me to kill you to save the Kingdom… I don’t think I could have done it.”

Dan was a little taken aback by the serious tone Phil had suddenly taken. Clearly, he had been thinking about something deeply for a while. It was also a rapid change of topic but that was something Phil had a tendency to do. Dan had learnt to understand how Phil’s brain worked and he knew that changes of topics were almost always connected in some way.

“Phil? You don’t have to choose. Also, you’re a wonderful King. The kingdom is doing better than it ever has, even going back generations. Your uncle died in prison and that took away the need for us to hang him. We have a new royal baby and your niece is absolutely adorable and she’ll be a kickass queen one day. Since Sean reclaimed his own kingdom, he and his new queen Elena has been some of our strongest relations yet. Rex has served his four years and now he’s doing community service. The council has healthy discussions and we have worked out some amazing solutions to difficult problems. We’re making the world a better place. You’re bringing light into people’s lives, Phil. You would have made the right call.”

~*~

Phil smiled at Dan’s comforting words but Dan was missing the point that Phil was trying to make.

And it was a special day tonight. It had been exactly five years since Phil stumbled into the Grand Hall and took Dan into his life. It had been the biggest turning point in his life, even bigger than becoming King. Meeting Dan had set all the wheels in motion, whether or not Phil had realised it at the time.

With Dan’s presence, Phil had started to see the world in a different way. They made each other strong.

Dan was one of the strongest people Phil had ever met. Dan had gone through trauma and yet, he fought every day not to let his brokenness define him. It would always have left its mark on him but Dan was so much more than the abuse he had endured. He was smart, compassionate and kind.

Phil was honoured to have had Dan by his side all of these years.

People still didn’t officially know about him and Dan. There were rumours, of course, and Phil had done nothing to disprove them but at the same time the two of them had never confirmed that they were together. But the world wasn’t blind and they could see it.

Phil felt fine about that. It was a good and safe way to go about it. Dan was in his council, his best friend and someone who he trusted deeply. Those things he had confirmed many times. He just hadn’t explicitly stated that they were romantically involved.

But on their anniversary of meeting, Phil wanted the world to know. It had been keeping him up at night and for the first time ever; he had left to pace in the garden without waking Dan first. But Dan had come to find him anyway.

Phil wasn’t surprised. Just like Phil always found Dan, Dan always found him. They were connected on a level that none of them could quite explain.

“I don’t know if there’s a right call to make,” Phil said, finally centring back on the conversation. “Lose your love or lose the kingdom? It’s an impossible choice to make.”

“Phil,” Dan said and squeezed his hand, “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to pick. The world is different now. We are happy. The kingdom is wonderful. You’re not doomed to repeat your family history. You have already changed what it means to be King Lester. You are making history now, Phil. The people love you.”

“They love you too,” Phil interjected.

Dan let out a huff of air. “Yeah, I know. I realised that when I saw a huge crowd of them at my piano concerts. It makes it more real to see their smiling faces, you know. It’s different from sitting at a table with the council and discussing their welfare. It’s humbling and it brings me back to reality.”

Phil hummed in agreement.

“What day is it today, Phil?” Dan asked. He clearly hadn’t forgotten Phil’s question from before.

“It’s five years since we met,” Phil said. “Five years since _you_ changed my life.”

~*~

Dan wanted to laugh but the laughter stayed in his stomach and he just smiled at Phil. It was impossible to believe sometimes. Dan felt like Phil had changed _his_ life. In fact, Dan knew that Phil had changed his life.

From the moment they met, Dan had unofficially stopped being a personal servant because Phil adamantly refused to treat him as one and he had tried his best to protect Dan from everyone else as well. Phil had opened Dan’s eyes to so many things.

Firstly, Phil had given him hope that good people could be found everywhere, regardless of class. Secondly, Phil had showed him that he was worthy of love.

There were a million more things but those were the main ones. Dan never thought he would be able to find someone to love who would love him in return. He had thought of himself as too broken for anyone to spare him a second glance.

But ever single day, Phil looked at him as if he had placed the sun on the sky.

Maybe in a sense he had, because his interference and part in dethroning the old King, had allowed Phil to step into the light and finally shower the kingdom in light after having lacked it for years.

Before, Dan might have been self-deprecating and argued that he hadn’t changed Phil’s life as much as Phil had changed his. But he knew better to argue with Phil about that. And Phil had managed to get him to understand that they had both changed each other’s lives for the better. Equally and they had always treated each other as equals.

“I’m sorry I forgot,” Dan said, his voice light and humorous, as he bumped his shoulder gently into Phil’s. “I should be better at remembering our anniversaries. But back then, days kind of mushed together for me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said with a softness in his voice. “I just… Dan, I want to ask you something.”

Dan felt his heart speed up.

“Something or _something_ , Phil?” Dan asked.

They had discussed it over the years. Making everything official. It was scary as hell to Dan. He quite like that everyone knew but no one _knew_. But at the same time, he also knew that there was only one way he’d be able to officially stand next to Phil in the eyes of their kingdom and the kingdoms beyond.

“The latter,” Phil said with a glint in his eyes. “I wanted to do it here. You remember what you thought that the figurines on the fountain represented when you first saw them?”

“Yeah,” Dan said and he could hear his voice dropping and turning soft.

Phil looked nervous. Jittery. Dan wanted to say that Phil shouldn’t be because they had established that they would remain side by side, quite a long time ago. But at the same time, Dan didn’t want to interrupt what Phil had prepared to say.

~*~

It was scary to ask. Phil had pondered over it for a long time. He had always imagined doing it one day. When they went on trips abroad, there were always functions that Dan wasn’t invited along to because of his commoner status. Phil didn’t care for that and usually demanded that he was allowed to bring Dan.

Sometimes, it worked. Other times it didn’t.

“Phil, you’re shaking,” Dan said softly and placed his hand on top of Phil’s.

“Yeah,” Phil admitted.

“Phil, we don’t have to do this. You know we don’t have to. We can decide things at our own pace. I love you.”

Phil broke into a smile and felt his eyes start to well up slightly.

“I love you too, Dan. I have loved you for so long and impossibly my love for you grows with each passing day. I can’t imagine a world where I wouldn’t love you. You made me believe in always. I know we don’t have to do it for the people, or even the kingdom. And it doesn’t even change anything between us because we’re already as close as we could possibly be. But… I still want it, Dan. But I also realise that it’s a lot to ask of you.”

“Phil, it’s not. I’m spending my life with you either way.”

Phil took a breath in and he looked up from their hands and right into Dan’s warm and loving eyes.

“Are you ready to tell the world about us? Ready to sit next to me? Ready to wear a crown of your own? Ready to marry me if I asked?”

~*~

Dan felt like his entire body was on fire. It was so Phil to ask out here, just the two of them, in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping. It was out here that they had starting letting down their shields and opening up. Now Phil wanted to chip away the very last layer.

Over the years, Dan had considered how he would feel if Phil ever did ask. He had never carried much for the notion of marriage. It didn’t mean much to him. It was a legal piece of paper and Dan had plenty of bad experiences with those.

But being married to Phil, even if it would also make him the Prince Consort, was appealing. When they first met, an ownership document had bound them to each other and none of them had wanted their names on that document.

This would be a new document. One that they would both willingly and lovingly put their names on to show that they wanted to be together, rather than someone shoving them together in an act of manipulation. It was a symbol of their love and how they were now actively choosing each other.

The people would talk. Even with Phil’s popularity, some might still not like it if he married someone like Dan, instead of a royal princess. But that wasn’t their problem. You couldn’t control other people. You just had to try your best to be happy. As long as your happiness didn’t harm anyone else, you were allowed to do whatever you wanted.

“Are you asking?” Dan asked.

“Yes, you dork,” Phil said with a smile. “I didn’t think you’d want a ring or for me to drop down to one knee. So this is just me, on a bench in our garden, asking you to marry me, Dan. I love you so much and I want you to be able to sit properly next to me. Will you marry me?”

“Of course, I will, you idiot,” Dan said and leaned in to capture Phil’s lips in a kiss. Phil’s mouth had fallen open just slightly, with surprise or relief, and Dan was seizing the moment.

~*~

Phil wasn’t sure why he had been so scared to ask. Now that he was kissing Dan, his official fiancé and future husband, he felt a little silly over the nerves.

It wouldn’t even have mattered if Dan had said no. Phil would have respected it and he would have been happy to just continue living their lives as they did right now because they were doing pretty great.

Dan took a moment, where he went still against Phil’s lips, and then Phil felt how his lips curved up into a smile before Dan dove back in.

“You’re adorable,” Phil said against Dan’s lips.

“You’re the adorable one,” Dan countered and kissed him again.

A crackle of thunder from above startled the both of them. They both looked up at the dark sky and then back down at each other. The moon was nearly full and even with no artificial lights turned on; they could see each other clearly here.

That was one of the wonderful things about each other. They had always been able to be open and honest about who they were. They shared the good and happy parts but they also shared the bad and broken part.

They knew each other in and out and Phil very much felt that nothing would change between them when they got married. They had already woven each other so essentially into each other’s lives.

They shared a home. They shared an occupation. They shared a community.

“You think we should be worried about lightening striking us?” Dan asked jokingly.

“No,” Phil said and leaned in to kiss Dan again. “Nothing is going to keep us apart.”

“Yeah, if we were more than a few feet from each other the universe might rip in half.”

Phil smiled brightly. “And we wouldn’t want that. So we’ll just have to stay together, forever.”

For Phil growing up, forever had been such a scary word. He had imagined that he would forever be trapped in the role of the recluse prince and be asked to conform to the whims of his uncle. But forever with Dan sounded like heaven.

“I did warn you that I’m slightly broken, right?” Dan said but there was no seriousness in his tone, just light teasing. They had come to a point where they could light-heartedly joke about it when it was just the two of them.

“Yeah, but you also know that we’re all a little broken. It’s the price of living life. You get a couple of scrapes here and there. I’m broken too, in my way,” Phil said. “But as long as we have trust and honesty, we’ll be absolutely fine.”

“I trust you with my everything, Phil. You know that. Just like I know that you feel the same way.”

“I do,” Phil confirmed and leaned into kiss Dan again. However, before their lips could connect, Phil felt a drop of rain land on his nose.

Him and Dan locked eyes. They shared a look and then looked up at the sky. Both jumped to their feet, almost in sync and grabbed hold of each other’s hands while they started to run through the garden and back into the castle as the sky opened up and rain came pouring down.

They were caught by the rain, but they were laughing and smiling and holding onto each other as they kept running. None of them cared about a little rain, as long as they were running together. Facing anything and everything together. Future husbands.

A continuous bright future awaited their kingdom with the two of them and their trusted council in charge. But more importantly, Dan and Phil were happier than either of them could ever have imagined that they would be before they met each other.

It was a coincidence that they came into each other’s lives. So many things had almost pulled them apart but they had fought bravely to stay together. And they would continue to do that for a long as they lived.

~*The End*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com/post/163835721266/trust-me-im-broken-too-phan-au) (thank you!)
> 
> I can't believe that it's actually over. I have written the last part of this story. I want to take a moment to thank you for sticking with this story, for over 1,000 kudos and for so many lovely comments. I didn't know how people would react to this story. I worried that it might be a little too dark or over-done but I just felt the need to put my own spin on this plot and the universe and the characters just grew and expanded when I started writing. It has been an absolute pleasure for me to write this - though, it was also hard work - and I'm just honoured that so many of you love the characters as much as I do. I couldn't have asked for a more awesome bunch of readers. 
> 
> I'm taking a little posting hiatus in May because I have been updating this story and another one weekly since the start of August last year, so I feel like I need to step back and recharge and start to flesh out some of the many ideas that has been put on the back burner to focus on my updating stories. I know you might not care what I write in the future and this was just a one-off read to you and that's completely fine, I just hope you enjoyed your time here. 
> 
> But if any of you do want to keep up with me, I'll still be posting more on this profile come June, and I also gather up all my writing stuff (and the occasional inspiring quote) on my writing tumblr [@secretlywritingstories](http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com). I have ranted enough in all of the author's notes throughout this story but I'm going to miss this is so much. I've never felt more engaged with a bunch of readers than you lot who have commented throughout me posting this story. So, for one final time, thank you for reading my story and I hope you liked it.


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